Not Attracted to Husband: What Should I Do?

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Not Attracted to Husband: What Should I Do?

 

When preparing for your wedding, you’re probably not even considering that there could be times when you’re not attracted to husband. Although it might sound odd if it hasn’t happened to you, not feeling attracted to your partner is common and can be solved with the right approach.

We hope to explain why this occurs and what couples can do to feel more intimate with one another. So if you feel that your marriage needs help with sex and passion, keep reading this blog.

 

What Is Attraction in a Relationship? 

We use the word ‘attraction’ so often; however, defining it is not as easy as saying it. So, what is attraction? To describe attraction, we must think of desire, interest, or affinity that could be emotional, physical, sexual, or aesthetic. That said, people very often believe that attraction is related only to something romantic, while simply admiring someone can be considered a type of attraction. 

In a relationship, you can feel all these different types of attraction towards your partner. For example, you might be interested in learning more about how your partner approaches work responsibilities and learn from him that way. You could also admire his appearance after they have put so much time into improving their health and physique. 

Although you admire your partner, consider them your close friend, and so much more, it’s not uncommon to feel a lack of sexual attraction. You might even blame yourself for not feeling. Yet it’s important to remember that it’s not something humans are able to force. You feel something, or you don’t. Your focus shouldn’t be on forcing yourself to feel that attraction. It should be on understanding the reasons it’s not there. 

 

Factors that Impact Sexual Attraction 

When in a long relationship or marriage, it’s expected that the sexual attraction will not be as strong as it was in the beginning when everything was exciting. Over time, you may find yourself not attracted to husband in the same way. But that doesn’t mean the attraction is gone forever. Understanding what leads to that lack of attraction can help you restore it in your marriage.

Any marriage must include sexual fulfillment, which is frequently seen as essential to preserving a happy and healthy union. However, partners often have different needs, wants, and expectations when it comes to sex, making sexual fulfillment in marriage a challenge. Communication, connection, trust, and physical and mental well-being are just a few of the numerous factors that impact attraction in marriage.

 

Communication

Any successful couple should communicate effectively, and this is particularly true when it comes to sex. The likelihood of sexual satisfaction in a marriage is higher for couples who can discuss their sexual needs, wants, and preferences in an honest and open manner. 

Talking openly and honestly with your spouse is a good place to start if you are having trouble feeling attracted to them. Make sure you both are clear about what you enjoy and don’t like. Instead of pointing fingers or condemning one another, concentrate on figuring out how to make your sexual connection better. Also, keep in mind that communication, in general, can help you feel more connected. Which can then lead to more desire and need for physical touch. 

 

Intimacy

Another crucial element in attaining sexual fulfillment in a marriage is intimacy. If you find yourself not attracted to husband, it may be a sign that emotional intimacy needs attention, in addition to physical connection. Sharing your ideas, feelings, and experiences with your spouse builds emotional closeness, which can reignite attraction.

Make an effort to spend quality time together, both in and out of the bedroom, to increase closeness in your marriage. Cuddling, holding hands, and massaging one another are a few examples of this. Try to establish a secure and comfortable environment where you and your spouse may explore your sexual dreams and desires while still being present and aware of their needs.

 

Trust

Any successful couple must trust each other, and this is particularly true when it comes to feeling attracted and secure. It might be challenging to really enjoy sex and explore your sexuality if you don’t feel safe or at ease with your partner.

Try to be open and truthful with your spouse about your feelings, wants, and opinions in order to foster trust in your marriage. Refrain from holding secrets or concealing anything, and be open to hearing your partner’s worries. Keep in mind that developing trust takes time and that both parties must be dedicated to creating a solid and wholesome relationship. 

 

Emotional and Physical Well-Being 

Lastly, attaining sexual fulfillment in a marriage depends on both mental and physical well-being. It might be challenging to completely participate in and enjoy sex if you are dealing with mental or physical health conditions like stress, anxiety, or depression. 

Try to maintain a good diet, get lots of rest and relaxation. And exercise frequently to enhance your mental and physical well-being. Think about getting professional assistance from a therapist or counselor if you are experiencing mental health problems. Keep in mind that keeping a happy and healthy marriage depends on you taking care of yourself. 

 

Invest In Your Marriage

If all of the above is not an issue in your marriage. Then it’s time to pay closer attention to what has changed. What was different when you felt attracted to them? Has something changed in your or your partner’s life? Noticing these details might be difficult, so you should consider reaching out to a therapist. You could look for an individual therapist or a marital counselor, depending on how your partner feels about this subject.

Whatever you choose, make sure you are open to discussing these issues with an expert. Sometimes, a person might feel ashamed, insecure, or even ungrateful if complaining about their spouse to a third person. That is why it’s important to keep in mind that a therapist can help you only if they know all the vital information about the reason you seek therapy. In therapy, there is no judgment, and you are invited to share everything that can help you improve your marriage. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How Much Masturbation is Too Much?

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How Much Masturbation is Too Much?

If you’re wondering, ‘how much masturbation is too much’ this may help! Start by saying there’s no masturbation rule. Frequency, inspiration, place, and other factors can be unique for each person. One person might enjoy masturbating only on weekends when they are relaxed and not stressed about their responsibilities, whereas another person might prefer doing it every night before going to sleep.

However, our preferences are put aside if a person starts masturbating too much, and it starts impacting other areas of their lives, including romantic relationships and friendships. If you’re unable to focus at work because you’re thinking about your desire to masturbate, it’s recommended to take a closer look at when these urges appear and what they replace. For such an analysis, it’s best to talk to your therapist openly to connect the dots and find a way to delight in masturbation without it taking a toll on other things that matter to you.

Why Do We Masturbate? 

For most of us, our first masturbation experiences occurred in puberty. That is when we start noticing this desire to please ourselves on a physical level. Then, as we grow older, our reasons for masturbating can be affected by our religious beliefs, family upbringing, peer pressure, exposure to culture, stress, and so on. 

We masturbate for different reasons. These reasons can be pleasure, tension release, fun, enjoyment, and learning more about one’s sexuality. In other words, if you know what excites you, it will be easier to achieve it with your sexual partner. Another reason that is often ignored is being able to fall asleep after masturbation. An orgasm can help you fall asleep quicker because it helps you release the tension you have accumulated in your body. 

There are also different ways of masturbating. Some people will enjoy masturbating with their partners as part of foreplay, while others will prefer to be alone to truly experience that level of pleasure. You may prefer to masturbate while watching something sexually exciting on screen, or you can close your eyes and imagine scenes. For most people, there is neither one nor the other option.

Is Masturbation Harmful? 

Typically, there are no consequences for people who masturbate often. In some cases, men will report swelling of the penis or chafing skin in both men and women if their masturbation is a bit rough. None of these are permanent, and they usually go away in a matter of a few days.

Other factors determine the effects of masturbation on your relationship. Masturbate because your partner isn’t pleasing you sexually. Discuss it with them and find a solution. It is fantastic if you do solo sex because you feel more connected to your partner and thus yourself. Masturbation will rarely be the only reason for an issue in your life; it will instead be a symptom of a more underlying problem. 

For example, if you’re under a lot of stress and feel like you can’t keep up with your boss’ expectations, you might use masturbation as a form to release tension and survive a stressful day. This might lead to you going to the bathroom several times a day, impacting your productivity and putting you in conflict with your colleagues and supervisor. 

The consequences of masturbation are not direct, so it’s difficult to say precisely how much masturbation is too much or when it’s time to start worrying. That is why it’s best to bring this topic up with your therapist and see if it’s time for a different approach to masturbation.

Myths About Masterbation

When we talk about what’s too much in terms of masturbation, it’s important to address myths. Believing everything you read or hear about masturbation may limit your enjoyment or force you to make bad decisions. 

 

1.Too Much of It Causes Erectile Dysfunction

The inability to achieve or sustain an erection during sexual activity is referred to as erectile dysfunction. Masturbating is not one of many causes of sexual dysfunction. In actuality, frequent masturbation causes you to grow accustomed to your own touch or a particular type of sensation. You can find it even challenging to experience orgasms with your partner. 

 

2.Masturbation Is Not Good For Your Health

Many scientists believe there are health benefits to masturbating. A couple of the health advantages include enhanced focus and restful sleep. Because it causes your body to release endorphins, also known as feel-good hormones, masturbation helps to relieve headaches and stress. In addition, regular masturbation guarantees men’s increased levels of health and youthful appearance.  

Masturbation provides certain advantages for women’s sexual health, such as less pain during sex. This is brought on by the way endorphins, which lessen pain perception, interact with brain receptors. Masturbation can also possibly lessen vaginal dryness. 

 

3.People in Relationships Don’t Engage

Masturbation is a healthy sexual practice you can do to satisfy your urges, whether you’re single or in a relationship. Many research studies have indicated that both men and women engage in the habit of masturbating and that this is not impacted by their relationship status.

Wrap Up

Speaking about masturbation might cause embarrassment, remorse, or shame in some people. No need to feel negative about masturbating—it’s normal and good.

Masturbation won’t result in blindness or negatively impact one’s bodily or emotional well-being when it is done in balance. Masturbation frequently has more positive health impacts than negative ones. The majority of the time, masturbation is only a concern when it starts to negatively impact one’s relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners.

In situations in which you feel that masturbation is impacting other areas of your life, we advise you to consult a medical expert, particularly a sex therapist, to learn better tools to release tension or have fun.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How to Save a Sexless Marriage?

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How to Save a Sexless Marriage?

 

If you’re thinking about how to save a sexless marriage, it probably means that there was no consensus between you and your spouse on having a marriage without sexual activities. This article doesn’t aim to talk about marriages in which both sides don’t need sex to feel fulfilled. Instead, it seeks to provide guidelines to partners who are looking to address the lack of sex and how it’s impacting their marriage. 

There are certain things you can consider if you’re in a sexless marriage. To understand how it comes to that, we’ll look closely into the reasons why sex vanishes from most couple’s priority lists and how to put it back there. 

 

Why Sex Matters

One thing that distinguishes a love relationship from a platonic friendship is physical intimacy. However, some couples neglect the physical aspect of their marriage; this is especially prevalent in the early years of a marriage, especially if children are involved.

The importance of sex varies from person to person. There are others who might believe that having a sexual relationship is essential. Some people might think that connections and intimacy of a different kind are more significant. 

In addition to the benefits for you and your spouse personally, having regular sex has several other positive effects on a harmonious relationship. For example, the oxytocin released during sexual activity promotes emotional connection and strengthens bonds.

In a monogamous relationship, having sex deepens your emotional bond and devotion to the other person. Sex as a means of expressing love makes couples more likely to stay together. Sex is positively linked to a decreased divorce rate.

Depending on the marriage, having no sex may or may not be a problem. However, there are ways to address the issue together and individually if a lack of sex and physical closeness is a problem in your marriage. The first step to saving your sexless marriage is to determine the underlying cause.

 

How Do We End Up in a Sexless Marriage?

There are many reasons why some partners stop having sex in their marriage. Despite the pain it may cause you and your partner, you must understand what caused it to find a solution. 

 

Health Concerns

A person’s libido and desire for physical closeness can be significantly impacted by their state of mind and body. Also, health issues and disabilities can interfere with the physiological arousal process. Consider consulting a healthcare professional if you or your partner experience sexual dysfunction that persists for longer than a few months or is causing stress in your marriage.

 

Incompatible Libidos

Sex drive naturally flows, and not everyone has the same degree of sexual desire. When a couple’s sexual desires are not aligned, they may find themselves waiting to have sex until one or the other is feeling particularly in the mood. This will significantly reduce the frequency of sexual experiences in your marriage.

 

Having children

Many medical professionals advise delaying intercourse for at least six weeks, and some women may choose to hold out longer because of their experience giving birth, pain, or overwhelming feelings.

Generally speaking, not having sex just after giving birth wouldn’t qualify as a true “sexless marriage.” However, if it continues, sometimes this is how a marriage becomes sexless after a mother has decided she wants to focus on the family and not pleasure anymore.

 

Stress 

Your desire to have sex can be severely impacted by excessive stress. When cortisol levels rise, sex hormones drop, which eventually lowers your desire for sex. Additionally, if you’re stressed about family, work, or health, sex may not be a priority. 

 

Lack of Communication

It can be challenging to keep physical closeness going when you and your partner are having communication issues. Ineffective communication regarding sex, in general, can affect the body physiologically in terms of lubrication, orgasm, and erectile function, as well as reduce an individual’s desire and arousal for sex. 

 

Saving a Sexless Marriage

In a low- or no-sex marriage, the first step is determining if intimacy is an issue. Whether you and your partner find a low-sex or no-sex marriage problematic is a personal choice.

There is no rule on how many times marriage people should have sex per week, month, or year. Whether you and your spouse are content in your marriage and whether you still feel close to each other are often more significant factors.

Since each marriage is different, try not to compare yours to others. Research has shown that going without sex is more common than you might imagine, even though you may come across marital sex statistics that will suggest a certain number to be able to call your marriage sexually active. 

 

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate 

Discuss the problem of little or no sex in your marriage with your spouse. Even if it could be challenging, this communication is essential. Problems with intimacy and sex can arise in partnerships that are otherwise strong. It’s not always an indication that your marriage is facing a serious problem.

Instead of accusing, ask your partner how they feel about the issues. Would they like to have more sex? What do they need in order for that to happen? Make sure you also talk about what matters to you. Define clearly what sex means to you, and why it’s important to improve that area of your marriage. Being intimate about it may help you want sex again. 

 

Build Intimacy

Consider scheduling more sex if you’ve both agreed. It may not be romantic, but it can be thrilling and unique if done right. You can anticipate something and show your commitment to each other and your physical connection by making plans.

In addition to having sex, it’s critical to look into other ways to develop intimacy, as this is frequently lacking in low- or no-sex partnerships. There is more to physical connection than just intercourse. Try to rekindle your romance and find that unique spark by doing the things you both love. 

 

Consider Therapy

Depending on the underlying problems, seeking help outside your marriage could also be wise. Try attending a workshop, seminar, or marriage retreat to improve your intimacy. 

To address any underlying medical concerns that might be affecting your sexual life, speak with a healthcare professional. Seek joint or individual assistance from a mental health expert to develop communication skills or acquire stress reduction methods.

Should you decide that therapy is the best course of action for you, you might want to contact a trained sex therapist or another counselor who specializes in marital sexual issues. Any problems that are preventing you from experiencing intimacy can be worked through with your therapist. Make the most of these chances to concentrate on strengthening and deepening your marriage.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Virginity Is a Social Construct: It’s Time to Break Free

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Virginity Is a Social Construct: It’s Time to Break Free

 

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about whether or not virginity is a social construct. For centuries, the idea of being a virgin until marriage has been sold to young girls and women all around the world as something crucial for their love life, happiness, and personal value. Why was—and still is—virginity only an expectation for women? After all, if straight men were not expected to be virgins until marriage, who were all of them having sex with? Who gave men so much power to destroy a woman’s reputation just because they had sex together? A man was just a man, and a woman wasn’t a virgin anymore. 

It’s not so much who gave men so much power; the real question is why. Why were women who had sexual relations before marriage unwanted or shamed by their families? Why does the inequality between men and women still exist when talking about virginity? If it’s so important, why are there groups of people praying and promoting only female virginity and not virginity in general? 

In this article, we want to research how true it is that virginity is a social construct. 

 

Virginity Is a … Social Construct? 

Before responding to this question, let’s define social construct. It is an idea that society creates to make sense of everything around us. Social constructs are not bad. On the contrary, they help us understand the world we live in. For instance, we all agree that a certain piece of paper represents money. We accept its different values and use it to buy certain things. That is a social construct. 

However, not all social constructs help us function on an everyday basis. Some are used to manipulate marginalized groups, and up until recently, women were marginalized all across the world. Although that is not the case anymore, there is still a lot of inequality between men and women when it comes to certain matters. One such example is virginity. 

When someone says the word ‘virgin,’ do you imagine a man or a woman? Most likely, you’ve imagined a woman. Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. For hundreds of years, society has been teaching us that a woman should be ‘untouched’ until she meets the right man who decides to marry her. There is no equivalent for men. Yes, they were expected to provide for this perfect woman and the family they built together, yet a man who wasn’t from a wealthy family wasn’t considered as a ‘damaged good.’ 

Putting aside social and religious beliefs, what does one lose by having a sexual experience? How can having an experience decrease your value? One of the definitions of experience is that it is an ‘event which leaves an impression on you.’ 

Instead of expecting someone to be a virgin, it would make more sense to talk about the experience itself. What do you need for it to be a quality experience? What should you learn from such an experience? Why do we seek that type of experience in the first place?

These questions initiate personal growth; asking whether or not someone is a virgin initiates discrimination, comparison, and judgment. 

 

Virginity Limits Other Experiences 

The concept of virginity pushes women away from sex, and it distances them from other experiences, such as masturbation, conversations, and thoughts about sex. Understanding what you like and don’t like is crucial for successful sex. Even if you wait until you’re married, if you aren’t allowing yourself to be curious about sex, chances are you will not be able to enjoy it because you don’t know what you prefer. 

Not masturbating, thinking, or talking about sex have one strong belief in common, which is ‘Sex is dirty.’ You can’t expect this belief to magically disappear once you are married. That is why many people who wait until marriage to have sex say that they are not impressed by it. Others will feel it is a marital responsibility, so they will not experience any pleasure or orgasm. 

In a way, virginity continues to impact your sexual experiences even when you lose it to the person you’ve waited for your entire life. After all, it’s not about being proficient at having sex; it’s about feeling proficient when having it. People with penises and vaginas have the right to enjoy their sexual experiences and be curious about sex and sexuality in general. 

 

Before and After 

Your first sex definitely separates before and after. Every important experience does that. Your first kiss, your first relationship, your first friend, your first day at school, and so on. Interestingly enough, other things don’t have a word for the period before a certain experience. What do you call a person before they gain their first friend? There’s no word for it. 

There is so much negative context around the word ‘virginity’ that, at this point, it is way more damaging than informational. Just think about it: what can you do with the information of someone being a virgin? It has zero value to others. If you haven’t had sexual experience, that information says nothing relevant about you in the public sphere. Also, if you had sex, it says the same—nothing. 

For inexperienced people who want to take things slow, share it with a loved one. You can share it with your close friend if you feel that your past sexual experience wasn’t so great and you want to be more relaxed when having sex again. The only value of such information is if it benefits you. 

 

Time for a New Social Construct

In the same way that the social construct of virginity has been created, we can create a new one that is not harmful to people, especially young women. Why not advance virginity as society does every day to match its beliefs and habits?

Every sexual experience is valid. Shaming someone doesn’t bring positive outcomes for anyone. If you want others to respect your intimacy, respect theirs. Lastly, don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison always leads to dividing the world into ‘good’ and ‘bad, ‘black’ and ‘white.’ Instead, be open-minded, curious, compassionate, and lead by example. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Boring Sex: Is There a Way to Bring It Back to Life? 

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Boring Sex: Is There a Way to Bring It Back to Life? 

 

One of the thrilling aspects of sexuality is having sex, so when you’re faced with a boring sex life, what can you do about it? Sex with a new partner can be exhilarating because of the excitement or new energy it brings to the relationship. What happens if the first spark disappears and intimacy is reduced to repeatedly sharing the same space and doing the same activities? 

Luckily, there are lots of strategies to get your sexual life back on track and rekindle the passion. After all, sex is a crucial factor in relationships. It brings the partners closer and reminds them why they fell in love. To help you feel more intimate with your partner, continue reading this article and find the right way to have a fulfilled sexual life. 

 

Definition of Boring Sex

Yes, it might be challenging to define boring sex; however, we’ll try to describe it the best we can to be able to offer some solutions along the way as well. Boring sex might imply multiple things. Sometimes it means you’re bored with your relationship or sex. 

Occasionally, it may be a sign of more severe concerns with sexual compatibility or deeper problems in your relationship. According to research, there has long been a perception in popular psychology that sexlessness is a sign of relationship issues that extend over time. 

Although everyone has a different idea of what boring sex is, for many, it refers to having uninteresting, unexciting, and disappointing sex. When someone doesn’t have enough physical stimulation or frequent orgasms, they will probably find sex to be dull.

The second concern is what to do about boring sex once you’ve defined it as such. At the beginning of the relationship, we can’t get enough of our partner. We enjoy sex, and everything about it is thrilling. With time, this excitement might start disappearing, and it can seem challenging to recover that spark. 

 

Common Reasons for Boring Sex

Longer-term partnerships usually result in a fall in passion and sexual satisfaction, yet this decline is possible to avoid. Some valid reasons may make you feel sexually incompatible or like there’s no chemistry in the bedroom. The most frequent causes of this decline are time constraints, health issues, or responsibilities to one’s family.

 

Lack of New Things

Anyone can experience boredom in sex, particularly in a committed or long-term relationship. What worked at the beginning doesn’t work anymore. Perhaps you yearn to relive the vitality of a newly formed relationship or the intense love of ancient times. Try something new. 

Before making changes, discuss them with your partner. Sharing your feelings with your partner may improve things. If you’re uncertain about what new thing to implement, try role-playing, introducing new partners, changing positions, using sexual toys, or having sex in locations or methods that may be unfamiliar to you. If these pique your interest, discuss them with your spouse!

 

Stress

We know that stress and life changes can affect our physical and mental health. You probably already know that stress can affect your sexual life. It may decrease your desire for sex or make orgasms harder. Since stress is frequently inevitable, how can we reduce its impact on our level of arousal, our favored sexual activities, and even how we communicate during sex?

Studies demonstrate the impact of stress and life changes on marital satisfaction. It could entail less time spent together, less successful communication, a higher chance of physical and mental health issues, and a general disengagement from the partnership. This could cause people to revert to familiar or routine sexual behaviors that bore one or both partners.

 

Mental Health 

Anxiety, sadness, or ADHD are examples of mental health issues that might alter a person’s sexual experience. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help couples who are having trouble getting pregnant because of anxiety or sadness.

It is commonly recognized that symptoms impacting sexual life, like decreased desire, arousal, or sexual satisfaction, are associated with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, or even psychosis. These symptoms must unavoidably be appropriately recognized and treated. 

 

How to Improve Your Sex Life

Before implementing any suggestions, make sure you talk to your partner. Even in ideal situations, many couples find it challenging to have a sexual conversation. Feelings of hurt, guilt, shame, and contempt can completely stop a discourse when sexual problems arise. 

Starting a conversation is the first step to a healthier sexual life, as well as a stronger emotional connection, because effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Here are some pointers for dealing with this delicate matter.

 

Schedule Sex

Your hectic schedule can get in the way of having sex, no matter how badly you might want to. Put sexual time in your calendar accordingly; just like you would on other significant occasions, add sexual time to your calendar. You won’t be as inclined to skip it then. 

When you set a date, you have time to prepare and something to look forward to. Schedule sex as often as is practical, whether it’s once a week or every other day. Select moments when you are sure not to be tired or preoccupied.

 

Physical Exercise 

Exercise boosts your mood and increases your stamina in bed. In addition to improving self-esteem and making you feel sexier, exercise tones your physique. The amount of exercise required to enhance your sexual life is unclear. Start with over 2 hours of aerobic exercise or two sets of strength training each week. It can boost your self-esteem and body image, tell your partner.

 

Don’t Rush Into It 

Sex shouldn’t be rushed, no matter how busy you are. Spend enough time in the foreplay. The extra time you spend caressing and kissing each other helps excite your senses and enhances the pleasure of sex. When you slow down, you can spend more time with your partner. 

 

Don’t Forget About the Little Things

Not every romantic meeting needs to result in sexual activity. There are many additional ways you and your companion can have fun. Give each other a passionate massage or bathe together. On the couch, have a passionate make-out session. Masturbate each other until you both experience an orgasm. Teach each other your preferred method of communication.  

Hug each other, share your favorite jokes or childhood memories, or do whatever will make you closer. These things will ultimately improve the quality of your intimacy, including your sex life. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Can a 70-Year-Old Woman Be Sexually Active?

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Can a 70-Year-Old Woman Be Sexually Active?

 

If you’re in your 70s or are simply wondering, ‘Can a 70-year-old woman be sexually active?’, we have an answer to your question. However, it’s important to keep in mind that sexual activity depends on several factors, such as an overall health condition, libido, and any other challenges or obstacles that can prevent a woman of that age from having sex – and enjoying it!

That being said, it’s completely normal for people in their 70s to be sexually active! If you’re in love with your partner and both want to be intimate physically as well, age shouldn’t be a factor. In this article, we’ll look at all the important details you need to know about sex life for those in their 70s!

 

Sex In Your 70s

Intimacy and sexual engagement are vital throughout life. Many elderly women in their 70s and 80s still engage in sexual activity.

Although physical changes and health issues may influence an older adult’s sexual performance, several techniques can support people in maintaining a fulfilling and pleasurable sexual life. Intimacy and sexual engagement are vital throughout life. Many elderly women in their 70s and 80s still engage in sexual activity.

Changes brought on by aging may impact a person’s sexual life. A person’s sexual life might be impacted by health issues and shifting hormone levels, yet there are things people can do to maintain their sexual fulfillment as they age.

Age does not have to be a factor in sexual limitations. Because they have fewer obligations and are less likely to become pregnant unintentionally, older adults may feel more liberated than they did when they were younger.

 

How Aging Impacts Sex

Changes brought on by aging can have an impact on sexuality. As people age, their sexual organs alter. The vagina may narrow and become less lubricated in females. Menopause may also have an impact on sexual desire. Male erectile dysfunction may become increasingly prevalent.

Individuals may also discover that weight or muscle mass changes impact how they feel about their bodies. Illness, medication, or surgery can all have an impact on the desire and intimacy for sexual activity. Still, not everyone has these issues, and for those that do, many solutions are available.

 

Physical Changes

The vagina might get shorter and narrower as women age, and the vaginal wall can get thinner and stiffer. Less lubrication of the vagina may also occur. This might make vaginal penetration uncomfortable or lessen a person’s desire to have specific types of sexual relations. Luckily, lubricants exist, so they can be used to overcome this problem.

 

Hormonal Changes

Because menopause induces hormonal changes, going through menopause might have an impact on a person’s sexual life. While some menopausal individuals might not see any changes in their sexual lives, others could experience some of the symptoms below:

  • Getting drier and thinner in the vagina might make intercourse painful
  • Decreased desire or libido, trouble becoming aroused
  • Sleep disruptions that might make people feel more exhausted than normal
  • Mood changes that could affect a person’s desire or sex drive

Hormone replacement therapy is a prescription that a doctor might give to help with menopausal symptoms, which could be painful or impact sexual life.

 

Mental Changes

According to numerous studies, the most common reasons why older women avoid having sex are:

  • How satisfied you are with your relationship?
  • How intimate you are with your partner
  • How is your overall health?

Keep in mind that relationship factors are equally important as health-related factors for a woman in her 70s to be sexually active. For instance, if she is feeling anxious or is experiencing symptoms of depression, it will surely impact her ability and will to be intimate and have sex with her partner. 

 

How to Have an Active and Healthy Sex Life in Your 70s

If you have an open mind and a determined spirit, there’s a lot you can do between the sheets that can be really fulfilling. Saying you’re fatigued, that you have a headache, or that something aches is simple. Finding methods to please your loved one and have a quality of sex that may still make you feel turned on and happy with your relationship requires time, patience, and a strong desire. Everything depends on each partner’s mindset.

 

Invest in Your Relationship

The quality of the connection is a determining factor in the enjoyment of sex. A relationship is as wonderful as its sex. Their sexual life will be a reflection of the strength of their relationship if they are able to be candid, open, and accept responsibility for their flaws, errors, and inappropriate actions. Sex will suffer from the contaminated space and it will not be good if the lovers’ relationship space has been contaminated over time. Relationships require care just as much as a house, automobile, children, pets, and plants do. Sex will suffer if the relationship has been neglected for whatever reason. If there isn’t any love in the relationship, you can’t expect your spouse to be loving. 

 

Talk, Talk, Talk, and Talk More.

Good communication is necessary to help those with sexual dysfunction. Sadly, couples often choose to keep their emotions to themselves so as not to let their spouse down; as a result, excuses are created rather than the problems being addressed. Insecurities, shame, and guilt prevent people from solving their sexual difficulties. A couple will never have a resolution if they never discuss their feelings. It is not the solution to sidestep the problem and blame a headache or tiredness. 

 

Be Present

Regarding communication, listening and practicing presence are your greatest friends. The majority of couples are awkward with one another. One may stand in your way, yelling, passing judgment, condemning, or blocking your path, while the other could back off and become silent. When conversing, being present entails meeting each other’s eyes. 

Being present and getting to know their spouse’s language and cultural background means showing respect and having an open heart to truly grasp what their partner is saying without interjecting.

As long as you’re taking care of your health the best you can and feel connected to your partner, you’ve got the green light to make the most of your sexual life!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

What is Compulsory Heterosexuality?

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What is Compulsory Heterosexuality?

 

Compulsory Heterosexuality, or comphet, is the harmful assumption that everyone is “straight until proven otherwise.” Adrienne Rich coined this term in her 1980 essay “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence.” The term compulsory heterosexuality refers to how our society influences women to perceive all interactions with men as romantic or sexual.  

This can be incredibly harmful for everyone because not everyone is straight and not all women are attracted to men. By deciding that heterosexuality is the only kind of relationship that is acceptable, our society reinforces this systemic issue and erases LGBTQIA+ people. 

 

What is the Lesbian Masterdoc? 

The Lesbian Masterdoc is a 30-page document that is targeted at women who are questioning their sexuality. It explores the nuances between compulsory heterosexuality and actual attraction, empowering many people to recognize that they identify with being a lesbian. The document delves into the intricate details that distinguish between compulsory heterosexuality, which refers to societal expectations of being heterosexual, and genuine feelings of attraction. Its aim is to empower individuals by acknowledging and validating their lesbian identity. Through this resource, many people are able to gain a better understanding of themselves and confidently embrace being lesbian. 

 

What are some signs that I am experiencing Compulsory Heterosexuality? 

  1. You like the “idea” of being with men, yet when a man makes sexual or romantic advances towards you, you get incredibly uncomfortable. 
  2. Viewing relationships with men as a “chore” but not truly enjoying spending time with them. 
  3. “Picking” a guy to be attracted to or have a crush on. 
  4. Only being attracted to men that are unattainable or that you rarely or never interact with (Such as teachers, married men, or men that live very far away.)
  5. You lose all “attraction” or get very uncomfortable when there are any signs that a man likes you back. 
  6. Having to be drunk or high to have sex with men. 

 

What are some early signs that I am interested in women sexually or romantically? 

  1. Having an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that felt “different” and “special” in a way that you could not explain. 
  2. Having strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific teacher, actor, or other role model that were deep and reverent. 
  3. Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms where female friends are less clothed than usual. 
  4. Feeling overly protective of female friends when they are hurt by men and thinking, “If I were a man, I would never treat her like that.” 

 

How can I tell the difference between attraction and compulsory heterosexuality? 

It can be difficult to tell the difference between actual attraction and perceived attraction due to compulsory heterosexuality. For example, someone who is a lesbian might blush when around men because she is uncomfortable. She might believe that she is experiencing butterflies due to the new relationship, when in actuality, she is feeling anxiety and fear. 

Some indicators that you might be going through compulsory heterosexuality instead of genuine attraction include having negative emotions such as discomfort, disappointment, or distress when imagining a future with a man. In addition, you may feel uneasy and self-conscious when men show interest in you.

 

I relate to a lot of this. Am I a lesbian? 

Maybe! If you relate to this article, it is something that you might want to consider. It can feel super overwhelming to question your romantic and sexual orientation yet there are resources out there to help support you in this journey. 

For the full version of the Lesbian master doc click here. It is a good place to start when considering whether or not you might identify as lesbian. If you continue to relate to the statements in the document, you may want to seek out an LGBTQIA+ therapist to help you navigate your feelings as you learn more about your identity. 

Finding community is very important when coming out and figuring out your identity, and it can be super validating and affirming to find a therapist in the LGBTQ+ community themselves. In addition, surrounding yourself with other members of the community can be invaluable in coming to terms with your sexuality. 

It is important to give yourself grace and understanding when learning about your sexuality. Compulsory heterosexuality affects everyone, and it is normal to have conflicting feelings when coming to terms with your sexuality. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know Melody Atkinson, LMFT-A by making an appointment. Her specialization is in trauma-informed practices, alternative methods to explore ADHD, LGBTQIA+ relationships, and identity.

Start your journey here with Melody.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Help! I Have No Sex Drive and My Husband Is Mad!

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Help! I Have No Sex Drive and My Husband Is Mad!

 

Have you ever thought, “I have no sex drive, and my husband is mad,” to yourself? You may have even attempted to look for advice on how to improve both your relationship and yourself online. Some wives even discuss this with their closest friends to figure out how to be more sexually active with their husbands.

If you care about this topic, keep reading as we explore all your options and their causes. Not being sexually interested in your partner in a monogamous sexual relationship must be addressed. There are times when we do not want to have frequent or any sex with our partners. However, if this phase is lasting too long and you do not know how to bring back that sex magic, it is time to examine what is going on in your relationship. 

 

What is Sex Drive?

Let us first define your sex drive before discussing why it is low and how to boost it. Our desire to have sex is called libido. A person with low sex drive has little or no desire for sex. This will be more noticeable in a long-term relationship than if you are single and not dating. 

A lack of sexual desire can damage your relationship and even cause a breakup if you’re with an allosexual partner. Understandably, if your partner and you have different sexual drives, it may affect your relationship. The only thing that matters here is being honest with yourself and your partner when finding the solution to this unpleasant problem. 

 

Reasons for Lower Sex Drive

Instead of blaming yourself for low sex drive, consider external factors. Some women notice their sex drive dropping greatly after menopause, while others remain aware of it throughout their lives due to cultural and religious beliefs.

Mental illness has been linked to decreased sexual drive and arousal. A lack of sexual drive and sexual dysfunction are common in depressed and anxious people. Check with a therapist to see if your low sex drive is linked to mental health. 

Mental health, menopause, and other factors can affect sex desire. Age, obesity, chronic conditions, medication, pregnancy, and relationship satisfaction can all affect sex drive. We are all different in our ways of being intimate or sexual towards another person, so make sure you are not comparing your situation to your friend’s. 

 

How to Improve Sex Drive

You shouldn’t expect to improve the sexual aspect of your marriage if you’re uncertain of the reason for it. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve the sexual connection you have with your husband. Most couples experiencing this issue will seek sex therapy, in which a therapist will assist with the sexual problems you two are having. 

Besides helping you solve the issues that are preventing you from enjoying marital sex, therapists can also improve intimacy between spouses, improve your orgasm experience, help you communicate your sexual wishes that you were afraid or ashamed to share, and so much more. 

You might not know this, yet sleep is crucial for sexual desire. If you’re sleeping only a few hours every night and trying not to collapse under all the responsibilities you have, your desire to be sexually intimate with your partner will most likely be very low. Women who improve the quality and duration of their sleep report a higher sexual drive the next day. 

Also, you can try aphrodisiacs, such as foods like raw oysters, strawberries, and chocolate, to improve your sexual desire. Yoga, mindfulness, and regular exercise can also enhance your libido and lead to more frequent sexual activities.

 

Different Sex Drive Levels in Relationships

There is no normal sex drive or norm that everyone should aspire to when it comes to being sexually attracted to or having sex with another human being. You might need to have sex once a week with your husband, while another person will need to have sex with their spouse several times a week. Both of these situations are perfectly fine, as long as they are not making you feel bad or affecting your relationship in any way.

Many couples will notice that one partner’s sex drive and needs are very different from their own. What is key to this is communication, like everything else in marriage. Both partners should be aware of their partner’s sex drive and find a way to ensure their needs are met. Talk to your partner and explain to them how you feel about sex. The sooner they understand that your lower sex drive has nothing to do with them, the healthier your sex life will be. 

Couples who differ in sexual expectations often realize that being open and honest in their communication about sex leads to stronger connections and a greater desire to have sex. Let’s not forget that one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs is not chocolate, sexy lingerie, or a gym body – it is the connection built through valuable conversations with your partner. 

Forget about improving your sex drive and setting goals in your mind. Work on connecting better with your partner, trying out new and exciting things, and learning something new about each other, and you will notice the sparkle coming back both in your relationship and your bed. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Comprehensive Sex Therapy: Unlocking a Fulfilling Life

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Comprehensive Sex Therapy: Unlocking a Fulfilling Life

 

In our fast-paced, modern lives, it’s not uncommon for sex and intimacy to be relegated to just another item on our never-ending “to-do” list and to ignore comprehensive sex therapy altogether. Many of the individuals we work with express feeling drained, exhausted, and underappreciated. 

They often find themselves living on autopilot, unable to savor the small, subtle beauties of life. When was the last time you could truly switch off your racing thoughts and immerse yourself in a pleasurable experience? If that moment seems like a distant memory, you’re not alone. Sex therapy offers a path to rediscovering that connection and vitality in your life.

 

Understanding Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a specialized modality that addresses a multitude of issues related to human sexuality. It’s a powerful tool for becoming more mindful, aware, and connected to your sexuality, and it can alleviate many of the symptoms associated with the pervasive issue of life burnout that so many individuals and couples experience.

 

Exploring the Diverse Realms of Comprehensive Sex Therapy

When delving into the realm of sex therapy, you’ll discover a rich tapestry of subcategories, each designed to address specific aspects of sexuality and intimacy. These include, but are not limited to:

 

1. Readjusting Sex Life after Transitions

Life transitions, such as becoming parents, going through menopause, experiencing injuries, and more, can significantly impact your sexual life. Sex therapy provides guidance on adapting to and finding joy in these new phases.

2. Pain during intercourse

Experiencing pain during sex can be emotionally and physically taxing. Sex therapy addresses the underlying causes and helps you find relief and enjoyment.

3. Low or no desire

Loss of sexual desire can be distressing, but it’s a challenge that sex therapy can help you overcome, rekindling the flame of passion in your relationship.

4. Identity and Orientation Issues

Exploring and embracing one’s sexual identity and orientation is a transformative journey, and sex therapy provides the support and understanding needed.

5. Desire Discrepancies

When partners have differing levels of desire, it can strain a relationship. Sex therapy offers strategies for bridging this gap and fostering intimacy.

6. History of Sexual Trauma

Healing from past traumas is a critical aspect of sex therapy. It offers a safe space to address and work through these deeply rooted issues.

7. Orgasm Issues

Difficulty achieving orgasm is a common concern. Sex therapy explores the psychological and physical factors contributing to this issue.

8. Fertility

Dealing with infertility can be emotionally challenging. Sex therapy provides support and strategies for coping with the impact on your relationship and self-esteem.

9. Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction can be a source of anxiety and frustration for many. Sex therapy helps individuals and couples navigate this challenge with empathy and guidance.

10. Sex Education

For those seeking a deeper understanding of their own bodies and sexuality, sex education is an essential component of sex therapy.

 

Breaking Free from Shame and Stigma

Shame frequently characterizes societal attitudes in the United States and some of the Americas toward sex, our bodies, and intimacy. This cultural backdrop can hinder open discussions about intimate issues. However, I firmly believe that removing the veil of shame and encouraging open dialogue is incredibly empowering.

Important Note: It’s essential to clarify that I am not a sex surrogate. All therapy sessions are talk-based and conducted with clothes on. My role as a therapist is to guide you on a journey of self-exploration, helping you tap into the many facets of your identity, including your sexuality, to empower you to become the best version of yourself.

Through talk therapy, goal-setting, and other proven methods, we can help you strengthen your relationship with your partner. Let’s embark on a transformative journey toward a more fulfilling and vibrant life. Come schedule a private session with Sarah Fitzgerald, LCSW or Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, AASECT CST.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Counselor & How They Can Help You Through Divorce

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Sex Counselor & How They Can Help You Through Divorce

 

There are many reasons why people find divorce to be the most stressful situation of their lives, yet a sex counselor might be exactly what you need. After all, most people will talk about how to recover emotionally, and as much as this is crucial, sex and intimacy are important aspects of your life, and you should dedicate your attention to them as well. 

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at the importance of having a sex counselor support you through a divorce and why you should consider finding one. 

 

Why Sex Matters 

Sex is a big deal in marriages, so why assume it will not be a big deal in divorces? It is so much more than just a physical activity; it involves intimacy, connection, excitement, pleasure, and trust. For a couple to enjoy sex, they need to make sure that both partners’ needs are met, and that can often be challenging. It might be that sex is not the reason why you and your spouse have decided to part ways, yet it will have a significant impact on how you see yourself as a sexual being in your upcoming relationships.

For instance, if your partner was never interested in sex, you might feel awkward that your next partner is initiating it and not know how to respond to it. Or, you might feel uninspired to try out different things in bed because your spouse didn’t like them, so you’ll assume that your partner in the future will be the same way. All of these beliefs affect how we see ourselves and how we connect with others, both romantically and sexually. 

 

Numerous sex issues can occur in your marriage and follow you way past your divorce, such as:

  • You stopped having sex,
  • You or your spouse initiate arguing after sex,
  • You don’t match each other’s libido,
  • You see sex as a more or less important aspect of your marriage than your spouse,
  • You or your spouse find other people more sexually appealing than each other. 

 

After Divorce

Your first sexual encounter following a divorce may be remarkably similar to your very first encounter. Both men and women are concerned about having their first sexual encounter following a divorce. Males may have some erection problems due to the strain of a new relationship and their eagerness for sex. 

You can feel apprehensive since their body will differ from what you are used to. Will you know where everything is and how to turn it on? You could also experience climaxing troubles rather than erection problems. Once more, guilt over sleeping with a different person could prevent you from experiencing orgasm.  

When having sex for the first time after a divorce, women may be reluctant to expose their bodies out of concern that they are not perfect enough, especially if they are middle-aged. The first time you have sex after a divorce, you might not be able to climax because you might not be able to unwind and trust your partner enough to feel free with them. 

If your first sexual encounter doesn’t go as you expected, don’t be disappointed. It will take time to adjust to many aspects of your new life, including intimacy after divorce and a new sexual partner.

 

Reasons to Talk to a Sex Counselor

Sex therapists are licensed counselors, physicians, or other healthcare professionals who have received further training in assisting clients with sex-related issues.

Many people, at some point in their lives, struggle with sex. Some people can easily help themselves. Others may experience significant discomfort and sadness as a result of sexual issues. 

These are just a few of the sexual issues that a sex counselor can help you with:

  • Lack or absence of sexual desire,
  • Difficulties having an orgasm,
  • Feeling pain during sex,
  • Inability to practice penetrative sex,
  • Erectile dysfunction,
  • Premature ejaculation.

 

Your concerns will be discussed with a sex therapist, who will determine whether they are more likely to be psychological, physical, or a combination of the two.

 Each counseling session is private. You can go to a sex therapist alone, yet it could be best if you both go if your spouse is also affected by the issue.

You will have a more profound knowledge of what is happening and the causes by discussing and examining your experiences. The therapist could also assign you and your partner specific exercises and chores to complete independently.

 

Quick Tips to Help Yourself Enjoy Sex Again

The best way to solve any issue around sex and intimacy in your marriage or even during a divorce is to talk to a sex counselor. They will provide the best support and guide you on your path to falling in love with yourself as a sexual being – which we all are! That said, there are a few things you can try on your own that might help you improve how you feel about sex. Keep in mind that each situation is individual, so some of these tips might not work for you. 

The first piece of advice would be to solo touch. It might sound silly, yet how well do you truly know what feels good? Do you know which sensations and which parts of your body provoke a feeling of pleasure? Many people will forget about things that they are passionate about exploring with their partner. So, if that’s your situation, give yourself a few orgasms before you get back in the game.

Also, do not rush into sex.  Speeding up to get over it is unnecessary. You should enjoy it and do it when it feels right, whether it’s the first night you meet them or after a few months. One thing you should also be clear about with yourself is not to use sex to fill up the void. Sleeping alone after years of marriage might seem weird or even too scary, so you might get the idea of getting into bed with someone to fill up the void. Keep in mind that the best motivation to have sex with someone is when you’re truly attracted to them; otherwise, you will feel even more lonely after having sex with a person you don’t even like.

 

The Bottom Line

Sex after divorce may simultaneously be terrifying, thrilling, and fulfilling. To shape your sexual life after divorce, you must go carefully into the unexplored region. However, you don’t have to do it alone. Consider reaching out to a sex counselor and getting the support you need to solve any unresolved sexual issues, and look forward to sexual experiences coming your way!

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Intimacy Therapy Guide: How to Make the Most of It

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Intimacy Therapy Guide: How to Make the Most of It

 

When talking about intimacy therapy, many of us will assume it has to do mostly with sex. However, there is so much more to intimacy than just that, while it is a crucial component. When you are close to someone, your mind, body, and spirit may all be involved. This is what it means to be intimate. It’s about having the strongest possible sense of connection to individuals who are close to you. 

You might feel intimately connected whether you’re in a romantic, platonic, or family connection. Counseling for intimate relationships might be helpful if you need help in this area. 

 

What Is Intimacy Therapy?

Most of us seek closeness because it helps us feel close to others and like valuable members of a group. We can’t always have intimacy in the manner we’d like to, though. That is where intimacy therapy comes in. 

Both single people and couples who want to explore intimacy might benefit from intimacy therapy. The goal is to find any obstacles preventing you from having the connection you deserve and want. It might have some similarities with sex therapy, yet they are not the same. Sex therapists concentrate on sex-related difficulties, while intimacy therapy doesn’t always have to be about that. 

You should be able to develop trust, vulnerability, and commitment with yourself and others through effective counseling. It is a type of talk therapy that may assist you in locating healthy answers to any intimate issues you may be experiencing. 

 

Understanding Intimacy

Before finding the right therapist for you, you will need to understand intimacy first. It’s important to comprehend the many sorts of closeness to determine whether you require intimacy therapy. Some of the most typical are the following:

  • Emotional: Frequently has to do with how you feel and how close you think you are to someone. Anything that gives you a deep emotional connection, such as the sensation of being loved, noticed, heard, or safe while discussing your feelings, might qualify. 
  • Sexual: When you interact sexually or in a sensual way with someone. 
  • Intellectual: The joining of two brains via deep discourse, common interests or principles.
  • Physical: Closeness that is either non-sexual or sexual, such as hugs, kisses, massages, hand holding, or snuggling.
  • Spirituality: Supporting one another’s personal growth and working for a shared objective and respect for one another’s unique or shared views. 
  • Experiential: Establishing relationships via common interests or experiences. 

 

Benefits of Intimacy Therapy

Intimacy isn’t often at the top of the list of all the education we receive. The media, our caretakers, or our friends frequently provide us with some unhelpful examples. This implies that we could develop behaviors that prevent us from engaging in intimacy and having healthy relationships. 

Perhaps you find it difficult to be personal with yourself because you find it difficult to overcome emotions of shame. Or a once-warm relationship has abruptly turned frigid. This wouldn’t be unusual, given that research shows that closeness increases throughout the early stages of a relationship before finally becoming static. Through counseling, you may discover new techniques for fostering closeness in your relationships and with yourself and help you break harmful patterns.  

The easiest subject to discuss is intimacy difficulties. You might not yet be able to communicate respectfully, listen actively, and have an open mind. You may acquire insight and develop workable answers to any problems by speaking with a qualified expert. Counseling can offer solutions whether you want to improve your sexual relationship or get to know yourself better. When there is someone who can assist, you shouldn’t have to deal with these problems on your own. 

 

How to Build Intimacy in Relationship

It is possible to overcome your fear of intimacy or issues you might have in that area. A sympathetic therapist can assist you in comprehending the underlying feelings that underlie your dread. They can assist you in addressing these emotions and identifying other, better-coping mechanisms for isolation.

Occasionally, mental health conditions like avoidant personality disorder can further exacerbate problems with intimacy. This can be treated, which has important advantages for those facing these issues.

Even when neither partner dislikes intimacy, a couple may struggle to communicate. The following advice may help you and your partner get closer and have more intimacy in your relationship.

  • Be more tolerant. It takes a lot of time to get to know someone well. The process of establishing trust is frequently laborious. No race can define intimacy.
  • Start with the little things. Discuss your hopes and objectives if you prefer to talk about the future rather than the past. As trust grows, you could find broaching the more challenging subjects less threatening.
  • Openly discuss your needs. Do you frequently require alone to rejuvenate? How frequently do you like having sex? Instead of presuming that your wishes are “obvious and clear,” be explicit with your spouse about what you want to avoid a lot of misunderstandings.
  • Be respectful of one another’s differences. Even the closest of couples still have their personalities. To love each other and have a happy relationship, you and your spouse do not always have to agree on everything.

 

There is still hope if you and your partner struggle to become closer. Couples counseling can improve communication and help you clear up misconceptions. Additionally, it can aid both parties in overcoming any intimacy-related issues that could hold them back. Getting assistance is not a sign of shame.

 

Finding the Right Intimacy Therapist

It’s crucial to find a therapist who can help you with your intimacy issues, regardless of what they are. A good therapist is crucial for your healing path, and finding one should not be that difficult if you know what you need. 

For instance, maybe you will prefer in-person sessions, so you will look for an intimacy therapist nearby. Or, you will want someone with years of experience in couples therapy, so you might opt for someone with work experience in that field. Whatever it is you’re looking for, it’s important to feel positive and motivated about working with that therapist because it’s a crucial element of each therapy, especially if you’re working on your intimacy issues. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Two hands holding one another - one with tattoos.

What Is Consent in a Relationship?

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What Is Consent in a Relationship?

 

If you’re looking for a clear answer to what is consent, the first thing you will need to know is that it’s about mutually respecting yourself and the other person you are getting consent from. 

When someone gives you their consent, it means they are permitting you or agreeing to express something with you! 

  1. Consent cannot be assumed just because someone is silent, hasn’t said the word ‘no,’ or because the sexual partners have a relationship or sexual past together.
  2. Consent may be revoked at any time. 
  3. Force, threat, or intimidation are not acceptable methods for obtaining consent. 
  4. A person who is in any way incapacitated cannot give consent.

Before diving into this topic, there are a few things to remember when having sexual relations with someone.  

 

What is Consent?

Sexual consent means agreeing to participate in a specific sexual activity. Before being sexual with another person, you will need to know if they truly want to be sexual with you as well. On the other side, make sure you’ve communicated what you want with your partner before initiating intercourse or any other sexual activity.

Both consenting and asking for one serve to encourage people to set their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. Also, it serves to check if everything is clear and, if not, to communicate it properly before sex. Both partners must give sexual consent each time before engaging in sexual activity for the sex to be considered consensual. 

Without sexual consent, any sexual activity, from oral sex or genital touching to vaginal or anal penetration, is considered sexual assault or rape. You have every right to decide what happens to your body. It doesn’t matter if you were up for it ten minutes ago and even said ‘yes’ to your sexual partner; you can change your mind freely. Every person is allowed to say “stop” at any time before and during sexual activity, and their partner must respect it. 

You have to be a person that is comfortable and gracious about receiving a no. That is what consent is. If you guilt someone, or pressure them when they say “no,” that is not consensual. That is covertly manipulating a situation to get your needs met. 

 

Sexual Assault and Rape

Who can consent to sexual activity is regulated by law. Someone who is drunk, high, or passed out cannot consent sexually. Minors are protected from sexual activity with adults. Meaning, sex with a minor resulted in jail time and sex offender registration.  

Despite their legal definitions, rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse all begin with lack of consent. All of these involve unconsented sexual contact. This means that sexual contact without consent is rape, assault, or abuse. 

Anyone can be a victim of rape, sexual assault, or sexual abuse, regardless of their age, gender, or sexual orientation. That said, certain groups of people are more likely than others to experience sexual assault. We particularly want to recognize that women of color, LGBTIA+ individuals, and those with developmental disabilities are more likely to experience sexual assault. 

There are numerous ways in which sexual violence can occur. Rape or sexual assault can occur without a weapon, and the victim does not have to fight back, scream, or say ‘no’. Our most common image is of sexual assaults in dark alleyways with strangers, even though that is rare. Family, relatives, and romantic partners often are the perpetrator.  

If you or anyone you know has experienced any type of sexual violence, keep in mind that you’re not alone and that help is available to all victims of sexual violence.

 

How to Ask For Consent

Most of the time, you’ll hear people talking about giving consent before a certain sexual activity. However, asking for consent is equally important in communication between two individuals who will become sexual partners. Both partners need to give their consent to have sex. 

Openly discussing consent with your partner is best. Request it in multiple formats. Instead of saying the same thing over and over, ask your partner if they are ready to engage in sexual activity, and then confirm with them if they are comfortable with how things went later. 

Asking for consent does not have to slow down or diminish sexual desire. While communicating and being intimate with your partner, you can request consent. Although consent is required before any sexual activity, make an effort to communicate with the person you are getting to know more about.  If you are about to have sex with your long-term partner, you probably already know whether or not they want to have sex at that particular time. However, asking for consent implies consent from both partners in a relationship. 

 

How to Give Consent

Like asking for consent, you should give your consent to your partner. That will inform them that you agree to continue being sexually intimate with them and give them the ‘green light’ to proceed. You are not, nevertheless, required to wait for your partner to inquire whether you are enjoying the foreplay. In other words, a person can give consent without waiting for their partner to ask for it. 

Informing your partner that you consent to having sex with them helps you both be transparent about your sexual desires and allows you to connect sexually. However, don’t confuse giving consent with receiving it. You will still need to hear your partner say they are okay with moving things forward sexually to continue with a certain sexual activity. Once both partners have given their consent, you can proceed with sex and make the most of it together. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How To Get a Girl Horny: Pro Tips and Tricks

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How To Get a Girl Horny: Pro Tips and Tricks

 

For all of you wondering how to get a girl horny, today we’re sharing our best tips and ideas on how to make her panties wet. Luckily, there are plenty of tricks you can try out when wanting to get a girl very interested in being sexually intimate with you. Although you might assume that things get heated up after the penetration, you will be surprised to hear that for most girls, foreplay is key to good sex.

You will find plenty of articles online on how to improve your sex game or lead your girl to orgasm, yet very few of them talk about setting the mood for sex and upgrading your foreplay game. If you’re curious to learn what works and what doesn’t, continue reading this article and taking notes.

 

Build Up the Chemistry

Establish sexual chemistry before making any moves. Instead of admitting you like her, flirt with her verbally and nonverbally. You can flirt by casually complimenting her looks or outfit. You might also tease her a little bit by cracking a joke or two. Please keep in mind that most girls will feel attracted to someone who makes them laugh.

With nonverbal flirting, you will need to learn how to look at her in a way that makes her intrigued. You should look deep into her eyes, and when your eyes meet, do not look away. This is where the flirtation starts. You can slightly smile at her when she looks your way, even if you’re already conversing with her. 

 

Sit Close to Her

If you’re not comfortable with flirting, this one might seem awkward to you at first. Ensure that you sit extremely close to the girl you wish to get horny with the next time you see her. This will also allow you to see how she feels near you. When you’re that close to her, pay attention to her signs. She might turn towards you and start a pleasant chat, decide to sit even closer to you, or show you she is not interested in sharing her space with you. 

You can show her something interesting on your phone to have her lean closer and see how she feels sitting this close to you. Or, you might show her something that is in front of you, such as a billboard sign or a parked sports car. 

Although you will be focusing on another thing, you will notice whether or not she feels comfortable with you being really close to her.

 

Talk about Something You’re Passionate about

Many girls will become attracted to someone when they notice their passion for something. For instance, seeing a person talk about their favorite band, movie, sport, or childhood memory can really turn a girl on. Your passion doesn’t have to be anything out of the ordinary. You might talk about your favorite restaurant or how you feel about your upcoming vacations. 

For someone listening, you will show a side of you they haven’t seen before. This is also probably where your confidence lies, another factor girls seek in their partners. Getting immediately into foreplay or sex is not nearly as interesting as getting attracted to another person gradually and then, when things get heated up, starting with the action.

 

Avoid Touching

As much as physical contact can be sensual and flirty, try to avoid it until you’re 100% sure the girl is interested. Think about it: a part of what makes flirting interesting is the uncertainty of the outcome—whether or not the girl will like you back. Even if you notice that she is becoming more and more interested, try to avoid touching her to get her even more excited.

After all, words can be a powerful seduction tool. Tease her and show her you’re the catch. Curiosity will motivate her to continue talking to you and, when the time is right, move it to the next level. 

 

Let’s Get Physical!

There’s a reason why it takes a few steps until you can try to either touch her fingers, move hair from her face, hug her, or do anything else that naturally comes to mind. Touching someone without first determining whether or not they are interested in you will eliminate any possibility of arousing their desire. 

Once you’ve read all the signs right and noticed she likes having you close and there is a certain chemistry between you, you can try to show her you like her in a decent physical way. For instance, you might touch her fingers while you’re sitting close and talking. Or, you might move her hair from her face after a sudden breeze. 

All of these movements will show you how she reacts to physical touch. If she touches your back or indicates that everything is well received, you are on your way to getting a girl horny. You two decide how to proceed from there. You could stop here or continue privately.

Make sure you are both okay with sex and have everything you need for the safest and most pleasurable experience. Each example is unique; some people will need weeks or months to get a particular girl horny, while others might need a few hours. There is no magic formula, and oftentimes, it will depend on factors that are out of your control. 

 

Conclusion

Ready to get a girl horny? If there’s a person you like, why not try to put your new skills to the test? Ask them out for a coffee or a dinner; invite them to see a music concert; or ask them to work out with you in the gym. If they accept, it means they would like to spend some time with you.

When you meet, it will be up to you to see if her interest is purely friendly or if there is something more for you to discover. 

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us with a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy, and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

How to give a sensual massage

How to Give a Sensual Massage

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How to Give a Sensual Massage That’s Actually Hot and Nice

We hope you enjoy this article on sensual massage. LCAT owner, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco was interviewed by Self.com writer Ro White. This article was published in Self.com on September 15, 2023.

 

Here’s exactly what to do—and not do—to pull off a sexy, relaxing back rub.

If you’re seeking new ways to feel close to your partner, you might be wondering how to give them a good sensual massage to help you connect. (And a downright sexy massage offers even more opportunities for intimacy.) Horny touching, including massage, causes our brains to release oxytocin, a.k.a. the “love hormone”, so an erotic massage is the perfect recipe for bonding, relaxation, and arousal—possibly even a better sex life.

Read on as experts share how to give a sexy back massage to turn on both you and your partner—and maybe set the mood for more.


Talk to your partner about what their dream massage would look like.

There’s no one way to give an erotic massage, so before you pump up the Marvin Gaye and break out the “good” massage oil, ask your partner what they’d like to get out of this experience—and share your own desires too.

“The ‘why’ of the massage should dictate the ‘how,’” Barbara Carrellas, an AASECT-certified sex educator who teaches erotic massage, tells SELF. So: Are you and your partner seeking connection, or maybe novelty? Are you wanting to take some pressure off of your sexual performance? Are you having trouble getting out of your own head and looking for new forms of foreplay? Do you just think their back is hot and want to love up on it a little? Find out!

Once you’re clear on the “why” behind your sexy massage, decide together how you’d like it to feel. “Erotic massages can be therapeutic, relaxing, stimulating, healing, sensual, sexual, kinky, or whatever other intention you set,” Carrellas says.

Check in about where and how your partner wants to be touched and if there are any no-go zones, AASECT-certified sex therapist Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, CST, tells SELF.

You should definitely ask whether your partner wants the massage to include overtly sexual contact. “Each person likes to be touched in a different way,” Pasciucco explains. “Some people love the adrenaline of just going toward the genitals, while many others enjoy long, slow strokes to build up anticipation.”


Make your surroundings feel sexier.

Use dim lighting, a playlist featuring gentle music, and candles to create an ambiance that helps your partner feel relaxed, Pasciucco says. (Just make sure the candles are securely placed far from the massage zone—catching your hair on fire would kill the mood.)

One of the best—but often overlooked—massage tips isn’t about what you set up, but what you get the hell out of sight at home. Pasciucco suggests removing any potential distractions from the room, like pets, phones, piles of laundry, and family photos (you probably won’t want your relatives staring you down while you zealously knead your partner’s butt cheeks).

If this kind of traditional massage setup feels slightly corny to you, Pasciucco suggests leaning into the cringe. “Making your bedroom look like a temple of love might not be your norm, but do it anyway,” she says. Trust that once you’re squeezing your partner’s thighs, you’ll probably both be too turned-on to feel embarrassed—and until you get there, it’s okay to laugh a little too.

If you just can’t get past the corniness of candles and soft music, there are plenty of other ways you can set the mood. “While some people like candles, soft music, and feathers, others like dark dungeons, floggers, and being ordered to get on the massage table,” Carrellas says. There’s no one perfect way to do this: The vibe of your sexy massage should feel personal to you and your partner! Let your imaginations tell you what a “good massage” should look like.


Pick an oil that’s up to the hot task at hand.

Your most important massage tool is lotion or oil, since this will help your hands glide more easily along your partner’s body, Pasciucco notes. Just make sure you review the ingredients first, especially if either of you has skin allergies or fragrance sensitivities.

Since this is a sexy massage, chances are there might be some genital-touching involved either during or after the rubdown. If you’re planning to use this same oil externally on your partner’s junk, you’ll need a fragrance-free oil, as scented products (including essential oils) can irritate the urethra (where pee comes out). Soothing Touch’s nut-free massage oil, Sliquid’s Escape massage oil, and Now Solutions’ massage oil are all excellent options.

For any vaginal penetration, you’ll want an all-natural oil to avoid irritation or infection. Vagina-safe options include coconut oil, hemp seed oil, grape seed oil, vegetable oil, sunflower oil, and olive oil, as the Cleveland Clinic notes. Keep in mind that using oil inside the vagina can increase the risk of developing a yeast infection, according to a UCLA study, so if your partner knows their vagina doesn’t respond well to oil or if they’re not sure, clean your hands after the massage and switch to lube when you’re doing hand stuff.

If you think your massage might lead to sex involving safer sex barriers, like condoms, make sure you use only water-based or silicone lube for any between-the-legs action and thoroughly wash your hands before handling barriers. Since oil degrades latex, getting massage oil on a latex condom or dental dam can prevent your barrier from doing its job.

Finally, make sure any sex toys, or sensations toys like feathers, paddles, and floggers, that you plan to use are easily accessible, too, so you don’t have to fumble around with slick hands.


Sensual massage techniques.

Take it slow.

Have your partner lie flat on a bed face-down or face-up, depending on the areas you’d like to focus on. They can be partially dressed or fully nude—whatever feels most comfortable.

Once your partner is situated, find a position for your own body that you won’t mind holding for a while. You can sit beside your partner, pull up a chair next to the bed, or—if you want to heat things up right away and this works for both of you—straddle your partner while you oil up your hands and prepare to caress their stress away.

Massage techniques can and should vary based on what your partner’s into, but here are some rules of thumb about sensual touch: If you’re planning on giving a full-body massage experience, start by gently kneading your partner’s shoulders, adding more massage oil as needed, and checking in with them about the level of pressure you’re using. “Erotic massage creates lots of space for communication, so there’s always room for your partner to ask for more or less of any touch,” Carrellas explains.

Rub your partner’s back and limbs (or whatever part of the body they like) with circular motions, or with long, smooth strokes along each muscle using your palms and the whole lengths of your fingers and tips of your forefingers. “Touching with your whole hand feels like an embrace,” Carrellas says. “You can use this technique to glide anywhere on your partner’s body without lifting your palm.” Another one of the best sensual massage techniques: Use your thumbs in areas where your partner wants more pinpointed pressure, like on the arches of their feet. If your hands need a rest, throw in some kissing or licking, if that’s your partner’s thing. (If they don’t mind oil in their hair, go ahead and stroke it—just ask first if you don’t know.)

Once your partner is feeling relaxed, ramp up their arousal by stroking and rubbing erogenous zones, like their earlobes, chest, butt, and inner thighs, before venturing between their legs, if that’s something you’re both down for. A sexy massage doesn’t have to end in genital stimulation—“an erotic massage should with pleasure, which doesn’t necessarily mean an orgasm,” Pasciucco says. But if you and your partner want your massage to get a little spicier, go for it! Sensual massage can feel incredible on your partner’s whole body—not just their back.

Read more of Dr. Pasciucco’s media interviews here.

Erogenous Zones Not To Ignore For Maximum Pleasure

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Erogenous Zones Not To Ignore For Maximum Pleasure

 

To truly boost your sensuality, you need to be aware of erogenous zones that you should not ignore for pleasure. Consider your partner’s ears, lower back, collar bones, and so on when you explore. Sexuality and sensuality are not just about penetration and coitus. If you ever took your time to kiss your partner’s neck and got them aroused that way, you know what we’re talking about here.

Many body parts are unfairly ignored regarding sex, and this article aims to change that once and for all. Say goodbye to repeating the same seduction steps over and over again, and say hello to exploring other areas of the body that can provide the same or even more pleasure for both of you!

 

  • Neck

If you have a neck, you are aware of it. The nape and back of your neck have an abundance of nerve endings that only take a light touch to drive you both crazy. To reach that concentration of nerves, ask your partner to lightly run the tips of their fingers up and down your neck as you kiss. You can also do it to them first and ask them to do the same for you. Establish a no-kissing-on-the-lips rule and ask your partner to concentrate on your neck instead to turn the heat up a notch. Trust us, you will love the tension this move builds!

 

  • Inner Thighs

Have your partner tease your inner thighs for a while before moving on to the main meal. Because of its extreme sensitivity and dense concentration of nerve endings, this skin is particularly receptive to your partner’s bites, nips, and licks. To take things to the next level, urge your spouse to trail an ice cube up and down your thighs and enjoy that new feeling.

 

  • Armpits

You probably don’t think of your armpits while considering foreplay. Your armpits may be a shockingly erogenous area, though, if you can get over a little perspiration, hair, and taboo. Consider it like this: Your underarms are delicate. They may be quite seductive in this region for the same reason that makes them so ticklish.

How to explore: Ask your companion to stroke your underarms softly with the tips of their fingers. Use a gentle up-and-down motion at first, then a quick, circular motion. Pay special attention to what produces the optimum reaction. Sure, it’s amusing, yet it’s also alluring.

 

  • Ears

Despite being very sensual, ears are frequently disregarded, which makes them an even hotter area when you want to turn things up in bed. Because there are so many sensory receptors in the ears, they are really quite sensitive to touch.

Start out by having your lover delicately draw with their fingertips while you are kissing the C-shaped outline of your ear. A little kiss or nibble might potentially ignite a bonfire. Coupled with some below-the-belt movement, this may be an exceptionally potent maneuver; it may even assist you in reaching the peak of your sexual pleasure.

 

  • Hands

The hands are quite seductive. Even a gentle, firm touch can produce waves of feeling. One of the most sensual organs is your hand. Sucking on fingers truly constitutes an oral sexual act. Like sex, a partner may deliver the same signal to the brain’s reward region by sucking on the finger and massaging it with the tongue.

Have your partner slowly make circles with their tongue while they softly kiss the tips of your fingers to explore. Consider using a little mild suction if you’re into it.

 

  • Feet

Even if you don’t like feet or believe you don’t like feet, the proper touch might alter all that. Pressure areas on the foot may cause arousal in certain people. Particularly densely endowed with nerve endings are the arches of your feet, making them extremely sensitive.

You should concentrate on solid, consistent strokes rather than soft, ticklish motions, since some people are ticklish down there. Consider it more like a massage, which is enjoyable and can aid in relaxing, a necessary condition for many women to have orgasms.

 

  • Inside of the Ankle

We may as well discuss the second significant erogenous zone down there—the inside of the ankle—since we’re already down by the feet.

Najjar notes that this particular location is undoubtedly one that may elicit pleasure when stimulated appropriately with mild touch, similar to the wrist. Additionally, it has a sensuous quality that could even make you want to kiss and taste it.

 

  • Scalp

Don’t undervalue the value of some good hair-pulling! Your scalp has millions of tiny nerve endings, and if you’ve ever had your hair pulled during sex, you know it’s an erogenous zone.

You can still profit from the many nerve endings on the scalp, even if ripping off your hair isn’t your thing. It doesn’t matter if you like to stroke your partner’s hair or they prefer to stroke yours—either way, there is still a delightful sexiness to the act.

 

  • Inner Knee

The area behind your knee may not have received much attention in the past, yet try gently massaging it with your hand or having your partner do it, and you’ll discover that it’s far more sensitive than you thought. “If you want to, have your lover lick and cuddle it. It’s a brand-new area waiting to be discovered. It is a direct route to other alluring body regions.

 

  • Lower Back

The back frequently comes up when asked about their preferred erogenous areas. For some people, it’s the interscapular—that difficult-to-reach area between your shoulder blades. (Perhaps that’s what makes it so desirable: it’s out of reach.) If you want, trail down the lower back to the sensitive area just above the ass crease. As you walk beside someone, consider each time they have placed their hand there. Hot, huh? When they contact it while unclothed, it becomes extremely sexy!

 

Final Words

There are a few obvious areas you want your partner to go to when things are getting hot. Your lips, nipples, and genitalia, however, hardly scrape the surface of erogenous zones—those crazy-sensitive hot places that may transform you from zero to gotta-have-it-right-now. There are incredibly sensitive regions of your body that you might not even be aware of. Explore these areas to find the ones that suit you and your partner the most, and enjoy these sexy games!

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.