Relationships without Sex: Cheat Sheet for Success
Relationships without Sex: Cheat Sheet for Success
We’ve heard so many times how sex is an essential component of every relationship, yet what happens with relationships without sex? In other words, can relationships without sex survive? Let’s answer that really quickly here: yes! As long as both partners are comfortable with not having sex and connecting on other levels than sex, these relationships can be equally fulfilling as the ones where sex happens.
So, how can you build a strong relationship without sex? Which things do you need to take care of if sex is not among intimacy acts in your relationships? In this article, we’ll share a cheat sheet for building successful relationships without sex.
Reasons to Have Sexless Relationships
There are many reasons why couples might decide to have a relationship without sex. Either you or your partner can have a lack of libido, feel like sex is not one of your priorities, or you want to strengthen other aspects of your relationship. Whatever the reason, the only thing that matters is that both you and your partner feel good about that decision.
Some couples decide to have a sexless relationship during the dating phase, while others will decide to stop having sex when they’re already in a relationship. It’s important to keep in mind that there is a difference between deciding to have a sexless relationship and ending in one. The first one is your conscious choice, and the second one is something that happens as a consequence of a relationship.
Many couples are now looking to learn and build a strong connection through other types of intimacy. Besides sex, there are numerous ways you can feel close to your partner. The ones you decide to work on more will depend on your and your partner’s needs.
Other Types of Intimacy
Mostly, when we talk about intimacy, we’ll first think of sex. However, a hug, a deep conversation, cuddling, or taking a long bath together are all examples of intimacy that don’t include sex.
Emotional Intimacy
How ready and able are you and your partner to connect on a profound, significant emotional level? Emotional intimacy goes beyond simply expressing your feelings. It requires trust as well as the readiness to be honest and open about more profound emotions, emotions, and behaviors.
Talking about your early years or anything personal (without going beyond your personal boundaries) is one approach to establishing an emotional connection. In order to have enough trust, vulnerability, and awareness to support one another when a significant event occurs, it is crucial that you and your partner engage in emotional intimacy outside of times of crisis.
Intellectual Intimacy
Having a healthy curiosity and learning from one another is the most basic definition of intellectual intimacy. Feeling comfortable discussing a wide range of subjects and sharing your opinions while remaining receptive to those of others are hallmarks of healthy intellectual closeness.
Even if you have different viewpoints, mutual regard enables you to connect and talk about subjects outside of your typical daily rapport. Reading poetry, visiting art institutions, or seeing a thought-provoking movie together are all ways to cultivate intellectual connection. Intellectual intimacy is about recognizing your differences and figuring out how to connect.
Spiritual Intimacy
Because spirituality is so individualized, spiritual connection may mean many different things. The extent to which you and your partner communicate your ideas, emotions, convictions, and experiences about religion, spirituality, morality, the afterlife, and other associated topics is generally referred to as spiritual intimacy.
While religious ideas and practices can be a component of one’s spirituality, spirituality is not necessarily about religion. The pursuit of purpose in life and your connection to something greater than yourself are both included in the broader idea of spirituality.
Social Intimacy
The extent to which you and your partner spend time together as a pair and have similar interests is known as social intimacy. What activities do you two engage in together? Do you enjoy spending time together?
This does not imply that you must constantly do or accomplish everything together. Spending enjoyable time with others while maintaining alone time is the essence of social closeness. After all, you need both! Trying something new together is a fantastic approach to developing social connections. Taking cooking courses, taking a new yoga class, trying a new restaurant, or learning how to dance salsa.
How to Strengthen a Relationship without Sex
Intimacy is a relationship that is developed over time through shared experiences and activities. It doesn’t happen immediately. The quality of your connections is especially crucial since being close to someone or having daily contact with them does not equate to deep or even healthy closeness.
Many couples will believe that they’ll become more intimate with their partner just because they will spend more time together, whether it’s at home or on a vacation. Intimacy requires work. You both have to be willing to work on building different types of intimacy in your relationship.
Oftentimes, when we take one intimacy type out of the equation, there is more focus on the void that the lack of this type of intimacy created instead of focusing on implementing a range of activities that will strengthen how you connect emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually.
Another thing that would be valuable to mention here is boundaries around your decision to not have sex. Although you’re both clear about not wanting sex in your relationship, you might have different emotions and thoughts attached to that decision.
For instance, your partner might feel uncomfortable if you or someone else makes a joke about that decision. That is why it’s essential to discuss whether or not you want to even mention sex in your future, how to mention it, etc. Keeping in mind what works best for you will help you feel even better about this decision!
Make the Best of Your Relationship
In the end, it’s not sex that will decide whether your relationship will pass the test of time. Everything plays a key role when two people are building a relationship, from how you spend your free time together to how much you pay attention to tiny details. Each relationship is unique, so what works well for one might not work well for another. Only you and your partner will have the best idea of what you need in order to grow as a couple. Talking to your friends makes sense in terms of support, yet the crucial decisions should be made after talking heart-to-heart with your partner.
About Life Coaching and Therapy
Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!
Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.
Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.
LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.
Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.