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Types of Empathy

Types of Empathy

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Types of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Understanding Human Connection

 

Before diving into different types of empathy, let’s take a closer look at the definition of empathy. It is your ability to understand and share someone else’s feelings and have a deeper understanding of how they experience the world. Empathy allows us to feel closer to others and build meaningful relationships throughout our lives. 

Yet when it comes to differentiating types of empathy and how they impact our relationships and connections, it can be very confusing. In this article, we’ll break down different types of empathy and provide tips on becoming more empathic in your life. 

 

Why Empathy Matters in Human Connection

Without empathy, all your relationships would be superficial. Empathy allows us to truly understand the other person and connect with them on a deeper level. Although it is valuable in every situation, empathy is essential in communication and conflict resolution. Whether you are having your first discussion with your romantic partner or disagreeing with a childhood best friend, empathy is key. 

Being open to the idea that just because you are going through the same situation doesn’t necessarily mean you both share the same perspective. Assuming your perspective, opinion, or emotions are more valid than someone else’s usually points to a lack of empathy. Without empathy, it is challenging to resolve discussions and complications that arise in almost every relationship, whether in professional or personal areas. 

Empathy also strengthens mental health by reducing loneliness and fostering connection. We are social beings, and feeling deep connections with other humans can enrich our lives in so many ways. That said, too much empathy could lead to relationships without boundaries, which is why the empathy you feel should be balanced and beneficial for you and others. 

 

The Main Types of Empathy

Empathy can manifest in different ways, depending on the circumstances and the person experiencing it. Cognitive empathy is the most common type, but there are others. 

Cognitive Empathy

As its name suggests, cognitive empathy is the intellectual ability to comprehend another person’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences. This type of empathy is also often called perspective-taking or empathic accuracy. Cognitive empathy is especially relevant in work and academic environments because it contributes to effective communication, problem-solving, and navigating challenging situations. An example of cognitive empathy is understanding how frustrating your colleague at work must feel after they were unfairly criticized for their performance. 

Emotional Empathy

Emotional or affective empathy lets you feel others’ emotions as if they were your own. In other words, if another person is feeling sad, joyful, or frustrated, you can feel the same way. Emotional empathy differs from cognitive empathy in its ability to share feelings and step into someone else’s emotional world. This capability is why emotional empaths can build valuable relationships, yet they should be aware of setting clear boundaries to avoid getting too consumed by someone else’s world. 

Compassionate Empathy

Empathy is understanding how someone feels, while compassion requires action based on that insight. Compassionate empathy is a combination of both empathy types mentioned above, with the added element of compassion. Depending on the situation and your relationship with the other person, you may feel motivated to help them by talking to them about their problem, offering practical solutions, or providing support in any way you can. 

Somatic Empathy

Although cognitive, emotional, and compassionate empathy are the main types, somatic empathy is also becoming a popular term. It refers to experiencing physical responses to other people’s emotions. This is the type of empathy you feel in your body when someone close to you, physically or emotionally, is going through a specific experience. An example of somatic empathy is your friend experiencing an anxiety attack, and your body mirroring their symptoms. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I tell which type of empathy I naturally have?

If you’re good at seeing things from another’s perspective and predicting how they think, you are good at cognitive empathy. You may be an emotional empath if you feel others’ emotions as if they were your own. Being drawn to help others when you sense they’re struggling could be a sign of compassionate empathy. 

Why is understanding types of empathy important?

Knowing your empathy type can help improve relationships by communicating in ways that match others’ emotional needs. It can also manage emotional burnout, especially if you’re highly emotionally empathetic. With time, you can develop leadership and teamwork skills by combining understanding with action.

Can empathy be developed or strengthened?

You can strengthen your empathy by practicing active listening while talking to other people. Boosting curiosity is another effective exercise, as it helps you become more open-minded and understand why someone feels the way they do. However, the most essential part of empathy is familiarizing yourself with your emotions first.

 

How to Develop and Strengthen Empathy

Even if you wouldn’t describe yourself as very empathic, there are techniques you can apply in your everyday life to become more connected to people around you. The basis of any type of empathy is active listening. To understand what someone is experiencing, you need to know how to listen to their verbal and nonverbal communication. When talking to another person, focus on listening and getting as much information as possible from the conversation. With time, you will become better at listening, which can help you become a better empath. 

You can also practice curiosity when watching movies, series, or books. Take a moment to reflect on each character and understand the motives behind their actions or words. This exercise can help you reduce the need for judgment and become more empathetic toward others. 

It is crucial to mention that you will struggle to be empathetic if you are not aware of your emotions and how your experiences are impacting you. Our own emotional awareness and regulation allow us to explore our inner world and become familiar with different emotions and sensations. Without it, understanding what other people feel could seem confusing, frustrating, or scary to us.

 

Conclusion

Empathy can help you build a rich life filled with valuable relationships and memorable experiences. Even if you feel like you’re not as empathic as you’d like, you can practice acquiring certain skills that can help you become more open and sensitive to what other people are feeling and experiencing. Empathy is a reciprocal relationship, meaning the more you support others, the more you can expect their support in return. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

pineapple tattoo meaning

Upside-Down Pineapple Tattoo Meaning

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Upside-Down Pineapple Tattoo Meaning: Do You Know Its Hidden Message?

 

The pineapple tattoo meaning goes beyond tropical aesthetics, symbolizing strength, welcome, and the ability to thrive even in harsh conditions. However, if you have seen this fruit tattooed on someone upside down, the meaning changes immediately. An upside-down pineapple tattoo implies the person wearing it is a swinger or interested in a swinging lifestyle. By having their tattoo in a visible place, they are looking to connect with like-minded people and have some fun. 

This article explains why the swinging lifestyle is symbolized by a pineapple, what to consider when tattooing it, and more. 

 

The Pineapple as a Symbol

Throughout history, people attached different meanings to objects in their everyday lives. Depending on their environment, these objects could differ significantly from one country to another. In Europe, the pineapple symbolized wealth and luxury, while in the American colonies, it signified hospitality and friendship. 

Because it was extremely rare and expensive, the pineapple symbol could have been found in architecture and decor across wealthy homes. The meaning preserved over all these years in Western culture was primarily the welcoming or inviting element. 

Just as the pineapple motif was common in art back in the day, it has also gained popularity in modern artistic expressions, such as tattoos. Beyond hospitality, people began celebrating pineapples as a symbol of adventure and tropical life. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions 

What does an upside-down pineapple tattoo mean?

An upside-down pineapple tattoo can represent openness, unconventional relationships, and freedom of expression. In modern culture, it is often linked to the swinger or open-relationship community, symbolizing consent, curiosity, and mutual respect.

Is an upside-down pineapple tattoo always sexual in meaning?

While the upside-down pineapple has a widely recognized association with alternative lifestyles, some people choose the design simply to convey humor, rebellion against tradition, or a playful twist on the classic pineapple symbol.

Should I be aware of the symbolism before getting an upside-down pineapple tattoo?

Because the symbol carries specific cultural meanings, understanding its implications helps ensure your tattoo aligns with your personal values and intended self-expression.

 

What Does an Upside-Down Pineapple Tattoo Mean?

The evolution of the pineapple symbol led to another social concept of the fruit, expressed through tattooing it upside down. This became the symbol of swingers, people who engage in sexual activities with other people, whether that is partner switching, watching others, or something else. 

In other words, if you see someone with a tattoo of an upside-down pineapple, they are letting you and everyone else know about their swinging lifestyle. This tattoo helps them connect with other swingers to socialize and explore their sexualities together. 

Because pineapples are common, whether as symbols or fruits, people with this specific lifestyle can subtly identify like-minded people without others even realizing it. If you don’t like swinging, you may not know what an upside-down pineapple tattoo means. 

 

Cultural and Social Origins

The symbol of an upside-down pineapple was not created by one person. It was instead an internet phenomenon that evolved from the pineapple fruit as we know it. Being aware that it symbolizes hospitality, the Internet users slowly turned it into a discreet signal of the swinging lifestyle. In the early 2020s, the upside-down pineapple became quite popular on social media and other digital platforms, such as dating apps and online forums. 

The simplicity of this symbol allows swingers to find each other more easily, whether online or in real life, and to start interacting. Without it, they would have to risk meeting non-swingers before knowing if they share the same interests. 

These days, you can find this symbol adorning clothing, accessories, door decorations, and more. The upside-down pineapple also created several fun online trends, like the one in Spain, where single people entered supermarkets and placed a pineapple in their cart to signal they’re looking for romance or adventure. 

 

Before Getting the Upside-Down Pineapple Tattoo

Although the meaning behind this symbol is becoming widespread, you can still tattoo it even if you are not a swinger. Some people simply love the look of an upside-down pineapple. By tattooing it, you are not immediately an active member of the swinging society.  However, it is a good idea to research the meanings of any tattoo you plan to get. 

If you want this tattoo, yet are not into this type of lifestyle, consider getting it somewhere less visible to others. The same piece of advice applies to those who are new to swinging and don’t want to share that information so openly.  

When it comes to choosing the design for your pineapple tattoo, you will be pleased to find various options. You can play with the lines, shapes, and colors to come up with something that best suits your preferences. You can add elements like leaves, palms, or other tropical elements for a more elaborate design. 

 

Spotting the Upside-Down Pineapple Tattoo on Someone Else

The idea behind this tattoo is to strike up a conversation between two strangers with a common interest; you might be curious about how to approach someone with an upside-down pineapple tattoo. 

Instead of using words like ‘swinger’ or ‘exchanging partners,’ approach them and compliment them on their tattoo. This subtle action will let them know you understand the meaning of the tattoo. Depending on the circumstances, you could exchange contact information or meet in a quieter place to discuss your shared passion. 

The most important thing is to be respectful of others. Instead of exposing them to a large audience, such symbols help people feel safer and more connected to others with similar interests. Make sure your words and actions resemble that.

Conclusion

Understanding the hidden meaning and origins of tattoo symbols adds depth and intention to body art choices. What may appear as a simple design often carries cultural history and emotional significance beneath the surface. 

Identifying the symbolism behind tattoos allows people to bond more intimately with their chosen imagery. The upside-down pineapple tattoo transforms ink into a meaningful form of self-expression rather than simple decoration. Ultimately, tattoos become lasting reflections of inner truths, serving as a reminder that the most powerful art is created when knowledge, intention, and self-awareness come together. If you need help with how you identify, see one of our therapists! 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Borderline Personality Definition

Borderline Personality Definition

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Borderline Personality Definition: Understanding the Core Features

 

If you want to understand the borderline personality definition, consider it to be a mental health condition marked by unstable emotions, self-image, and behavior. Impulsive actions, chaotic relationships, and a strong fear of abandonment often result from the inability to manage intense feelings.

People with borderline personality disorder often have quickly changing moods, see themselves and others in distorted ways, and find it difficult to keep stable relationships. They may also use unhealthy ways to cope, such as self-harm or substance use. If you want to learn more about this disorder, keep reading.

 

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition with intense emotions, unstable relationships, and trouble with self-image. People with BPD often feel overwhelmed by emotions that change quickly, which can make daily life unpredictable.

Borderline personality disorder belongs to the Cluster B group of personality disorders, which are known for dramatic and emotional behavior. It affects both men and women, yet women are diagnosed more often. It is important to know that these patterns are not chosen and stem from deep emotional sensitivity.

Clinically, borderline personality disorder means having ongoing emotional instability, unstable relationships, and problems with self-identity. The disorder affects how someone feels, thinks, and acts, especially during stressful times. People with BPD often have trouble managing their emotions. These emotions often lead to impulsive actions and strong reactions to feeling rejected or abandoned.

 

Core Features of Borderline Personality Disorder

If you think you or someone you know might have borderline personality disorder, looking for certain signs can help you understand it. These signs can look different for each person, yet they may help you decide if this condition fits your situation.

Emotional Dysregulation

Emotional dysregulation is a key part of BPD. People with BPD feel emotions more strongly, more quickly, and for longer than others. Even a small disagreement can feel overwhelming and cause strong reactions that are challenging to calm down. It also takes longer for their emotions to return to normal after being upset. Learning ways to manage emotions can help people with BPD feel more stable, confident, and resilient.

Fear of Abandonment

Fear of abandonment is very painful for people with this condition. Even small things, like a late text or a change in tone, can make them feel rejected. This fear can cause strong anxiety, efforts to avoid being left, or pulling away to protect themselves. People with this condition do not try to manipulate others with such reactions. Instead, they react this way because of their deep emotional vulnerability. Often, this fear is linked to past experiences of instability or neglect.

Unstable Self-Image

An unstable self-image means people with BPD may not have a clear sense of who they are. Their identity can change with their mood, relationships, or what is happening around them. They might feel confident one day and worthless the next or suddenly change their goals, careers, or interests.

Relationship Instability

Strong emotions, fear of abandonment, and shifting perspectives of others contribute to relationship instability in this disorder. Relationships can quickly shift between closeness and conflict or between seeing someone as perfect and then feeling let down. People with BPD may see someone as wonderful one moment and feel hurt by them the next, usually because of emotional sensitivity, not on purpose. These patterns can put stress on friendships, romantic relationships, and family connections.

Impulsivity

Impulsivity in BPD is often linked to emotional distress. When emotions are too strong, acting quickly can bring short-term relief, even if it causes problems later. This can include overspending, substance use, binge eating, unsafe sex, or risky choices. Seeing impulsivity as a symptom, not a personal flaw, helps people respond with more compassion and focus on learning ways to manage distress.

Chronic Feelings of Emptiness

Many people with BPD say they often feel empty, as if something is missing or they feel numb inside. This can make it difficult to enjoy life, feel close to others, or stay motivated. Occasionally, this emptiness leads to impulsive actions or intense relationships as ways to try to fill the gap.

Intense Anger

Intense anger in BPD is often misunderstood. People may suddenly feel very angry and find it challenging to control their anger, often because they feel rejected, ashamed, or frustrated. This anger can cause outbursts or harsh self-criticism. Afterward, many people with BPD feel guilty or embarrassed, which adds to their emotional pain. Anger is not a sign of violence or danger. Instead, it shows emotional sensitivity and trouble managing strong feelings.

Dissociation and Stress-Related Symptoms

When under stress, people with this disorder may feel dissociated or disconnected from themselves, their feelings, or their surroundings. It can feel like being on autopilot, watching themselves from outside, or feeling unreal. Dissociation is the mind’s way of protecting itself during overwhelming emotions. Although it can be confusing or scary, it is a common response to stress or trauma.

 

Causes of Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder develops from a mix of genetic, environmental, and emotional factors. Studies reveal that certain individuals possess innate emotional sensitivity, leading to heightened stress reactions. Environmental factors such as neglect, abandonment, or trauma can exacerbate this sensitivity, although trauma is not a requisite condition.

The most common explanation for this disorder is that emotional sensitivity combines with an invalidating environment, where emotions are ignored or misunderstood. A person’s temperament, early relationships, and attachment style also matter. Knowing that borderline personality disorder has many causes can help reduce blame and support a more caring, complete approach to healing.

 

Conclusion

Borderline personality disorder can be treated, and many people become much better with the right help. Working with a trusted therapist can teach you how to manage the condition and take back control of your life. A positive relationship with your therapist gives you stability and trust. With support, people with BPD can build healthier relationships, act less impulsively, and become more emotionally resilient.

A therapist or psychiatrist can help figure out if your symptoms match borderline personality disorder or another condition and guide you to the right treatment. Asking for help shows strength, not weakness. Getting help early leads to better results and helps you build the skills needed for emotional balance and strong relationships.

​

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Am I depressed or lazy

Am I Depressed or Lazy

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Am I Depressed or Lazy: How to Know the Difference?

 

If you’ve asked yourself, ‘Am I depressed or lazy?’, it probably means that you have noticed specific symptoms or patterns that could indicate depression or laziness. There is a lot of misunderstanding around these two terms, which makes it harder to understand what is going on beneath the surface. 

Labeling yourself as lazy can be very harmful, especially if you fail to notice other symptoms that could be a sign of a mental health condition, such as depression. In this article, we will take a closer look at the main differences between depression and laziness and techniques that can help you feel better. 

 

Why We Confuse Depression With Laziness

In today’s society, there is an enormous pressure to feel productive at work, at home, and in our interests and hobbies. This has led to tying self-worth to the outcomes of our productivity, whether professional or personal. Being unproductive often lacks the understanding and support a person needs, so you might find yourself trying to avoid even thinking about what is going on.

Human beings are not meant to be productive at all times throughout our lives, yet when the lack of productivity starts impacting the quality of our lives, it is typically a sign that something is off. Signs of depression can include not having as much energy as you used to, avoiding activities you once enjoyed, or procrastinating on your tasks. 

A depressed person will maybe even want to do all of these things, yet motivating themselves to actually do them is extremely challenging. On the other hand, laziness is typically the result of not wanting to do something. A person who feels lazy can do something, yet chooses not to due to a range of reasons. 

 

What Laziness Actually Is (and Isn’t)

Unlike depression, laziness is situational and choice-based. For instance, a person can have the energy to go to the gym after work, yet they will choose not to go because of a lack of energy. Laziness can also show up as feeling neutral or unconcerned about the consequences. An example of this is when someone orders from restaurants instead of cooking or eating healthy, despite knowing how to cook and having ingredients in the kitchen. 

Another important symptom that differentiates laziness from depression is that it usually doesn’t cause guilt or shame. If you’ve decided to skip a few gym classes because you don’t feel like going, you probably won’t feel guilty about it. 

Unfortunately, laziness is used too often to describe people who don’t have the energy and can’t find a way to motivate themselves. If this persists, not receiving the understanding you need from your loved ones could prevent you from seeking the support you require. 

Signs It May Be Depression

If it is not laziness, could it be depression? Possibly; however, depression has certain emotional, physical, and mental characteristics that can help you understand better what you are dealing with. If you don’t suffer from these symptoms, it would still be a beneficial idea to talk to your doctor. Instead of depression, the root cause could be found in conditions like anemia, thyroid imbalances, and diabetes. 

Emotional signs that could indicate depression:

  • Persistent sadness, emptiness, or numbness
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in things you once enjoyed
  • Feeling hopeless, helpless, or pessimistic about the future
  • Increased irritability, frustration, or anger (sometimes more than sadness)
  • Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected from yourself and others
  • Excessive guilt or feelings of worthlessness
  • Feeling like a burden to others
  • Emotional overwhelm or, conversely, feeling unable to feel much at all

 

Physical signs that could indicate depression: 

  • Constant fatigue or low energy, even after rest
  • Changes in sleep (insomnia, waking early, or sleeping much more than usual)
  • Changes in appetite or weight (increase or decrease)
  • Unexplained aches and pains (headaches, body pain, digestive issues)
  • Feeling heavy, slowed down, or physically drained
  • Restlessness or feeling physically agitated
  • Weakening the immune system or getting sick more often
  • Low motivation to take care of basic physical needs (hygiene, meals, movement).

 

Mental signs that could indicate depression: 

  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Racing thoughts mixed with mental exhaustion
  • Negative self-talk or harsh inner criticism
  • Feeling mentally foggy or slowed
  • Loss of motivation that isn’t relieved by “trying harder”
  • Repetitive or intrusive thoughts
  • Difficulty planning, organizing, or starting tasks
  • Thoughts about death, disappearing, or not wanting to exist (even without active suicidal intent)

Questions to Ask Yourself

If you still feel confused after reading about depression and laziness, specific self-reflection questions can help you clarify. Asking yourself if you feel relief or shame when you decide to do things can help you understand the emotions behind it. Another thing that could help you clarify if you are depressed or lazy is asking yourself, does not doing things make you feel like you are resting or like you are stuck? 

Exploring a different perspective can also help you understand the situation better. For instance, asking yourself what would happen and how you would feel if you started doing something now can be highly valuable. Consider journaling your emotions and energy levels throughout the day to gain a clearer understanding of this experience. If you notice nothing changes for more than a few months, consider seeking professional support. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions 

How can I tell if what I’m feeling is depression and not just a bad phase?

Depression tends to persist for weeks or months, not just days, and affects multiple areas of life. If low mood, numbness, or exhaustion don’t improve with rest or positive changes, it may be more than a temporary phase.

Can depression show up more physically than emotionally?

Yes. Many people experience depression primarily through physical symptoms such as chronic fatigue, body aches, digestive issues, headaches, or changes in sleep and appetite, sometimes without evident sadness.

Is constant overthinking or brain fog a sign of depression?

Depression often affects cognitive functioning, leading to difficulty concentrating, slowed thinking, indecisiveness, memory issues, or persistent negative thought loops, even in people who don’t feel deeply sad.

 

When to Seek Professional Support

To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least six months in your life. However, you don’t have to wait at all if you want to get your life back on track. Being without energy and missing out on activities you used to enjoy is not something you should simply accept. Talking to a therapist can help you understand the underlying problem and identify techniques that work for you daily. 

Often, people who are called lazy avoid seeking professional support because they believe they don’t have a real problem. Regardless of feeling lazy or depressed, you deserve to enjoy your life and feel positive about yourself. It is always the right time to talk to someone and ask for help. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Relationship Anarchy

Relationship Anarchy

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Relationship Anarchy: A Clear Guide for Beginners

 

Have you heard of the term relationship anarchy? This philosophy rejects traditional relationship hierarchies and social norms and applies anarchist principles to relationships. In other words, relationship anarchy stands for unique, non-hierarchical relationships that are based on communication, consent, and mutual needs. 

Lately, relationship anarchy has been getting a lot of attention, mostly due to the modern dating trends. Many people are now desiring autonomy over labels while exploring and getting to know others without any pressure. If you, too, are curious about relationship anarchy or simply want to learn more about non-hierarchical relationships, this article is for you. 

 

What Is Relationship Anarchy?

The origin of the term relationship anarchy can be traced back to the early 2000s, when Andie Nordgren, a Swedish relationship educator, wrote The Relationship Anarchy Manifesto. It is a political and philosophical concept that is rooted in activism, feminism, and anarchist theory. 

Relationship anarchy (RA) emerged from a desire to challenge social rules applying to how love, intimacy, and commitment should look. This concept began questioning the hierarchy that places romantic relationships above friendships while resisting control in relationships and encouraging people to design relationships as they see fit. 

When it comes to relationship anarchy, all relationships should be built on personal values and not societal norms. However, it’s important to say that it is a philosophy, not a set of rules. RA can look different from one person to another. 

 

Core Principles of Relationship Anarchy

Despite being a philosophy, relationship anarchy adheres to certain principles that are applicable in daily life. One of the most relevant ideas in relationship anarchy is the autonomy and personal freedom each person in a relationship has. It does encourage individuals to seek healthier ways to build connections. 

It also doesn’t have any type of hierarchy, yet what does that mean? Those in RA can choose which relationships to have and what values to build them on. For instance, relationship anarchy rejects the idea that a marriage is more important than friendship or vice versa. There is no hierarchy, and individuals have the freedom to select the partner or people they spend time with that best suit their needs. 

That said, these relationships have to be built on consent, mutual respect, and open communication. These three values ensure that these relationships are not hierarchical or harmful in any way to the people involved. Having a custom-designed relationship doesn’t mean you can treat someone poorly. It comes with responsibility, which is genuine and not a result of societal norms. 

 

Relationship Anarchy vs. Other Relationship Models

Maybe the best way to understand relationship anarchy is to compare it to other relationship models. Relationship anarchy doesn’t imply monogamy, polyamory, or ethical non-monogamy. It simply removes the limits we or others set for ourselves when it comes to relationships. 

If you’re a relationship anarchist, you can also be a monogamist, date other people, invest in your friendships, explore new interests, and so on. In other words, it’s about what you can do, not what you can’t. 

 

Common Myths About Relationship Anarchy

Many misconceptions exist around relationship anarchy. Some critics of this philosophy say that the lack of hierarchy leads to chaos. However, if the core principles of relationship anarchy are respected, there is no reason for chaos. Just by communicating openly, being honest, and respecting people you care about, you add transparency and clarity to your relationships.  

Some also say that relationship anarchy implies no boundaries, which is absolutely incorrect. “No limits” in this philosophy refers to the labels and societal norms, not boundaries needed for a healthy, thriving relationship. For instance, you can set a boundary that you’ll leave every time a person makes you wait for too long. 

One of the most common myths about relationship anarchy is that you can’t build stable connections without rules. You can definitely build valuable relationships with a softer approach that doesn’t require putting people in the appropriate boxes. This, however, doesn’t mean that there are no guidelines and boundaries in this type of relationship. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is relationship anarchy the same as polyamory?

No, relationship anarchy and polyamory are not the same thing. Relationship anarchy is a philosophy about designing relationships based on personal values. Polyamory is a relationship structure involving multiple romantic or sexual partners.

Does relationship anarchy mean “no rules”?

Relationship anarchy rejects assumed rules, not agreements. Instead of traditional expectations, it encourages mutual, intentional agreements created by the people involved.

Can you practice relationship anarchy if your partner doesn’t?

Yes, you can practice relationship anarchy even if your partner doesn’t. However, if you want a fully non-hierarchical structure, both partners need to align on that approach.

 

Why People Choose Relationship Anarchy

So, why is relationship anarchy becoming so popular? Is it just because people are tired of labels, or is there something else? One of the primary reasons for exploring the philosophy behind relationship anarchy is the desire for freedom and authenticity. Those interested in it also want to be themselves rather than conform. 

It is also a way of healing from past relationship patterns for many. You might have concluded that your previous approach to building relationships no longer serves you, and you are now taking time to understand what truly represents the authentic you. 

People also choose relationship anarchy because they want their relationships to evolve naturally. Instead of labeling the connections they build, they simply surrender and see what will evolve from it. This also allows them to see the true potential of the connection between them and someone else instead of hoping to become a couple, friends, or anything else. 

Most importantly, relationship anarchy allows friendships to be as important as romantic connections. Your personal needs and values determine the significance of all relationships, as there is no predefined structure. You are the one who is in these relationships, and you are the one who knows best what is most valuable and needed from them. 

 

Conclusion 

There is no right or wrong relationship model or philosophy. Every person is unique and seeks different things from relationships with other people. That is why what works for you might not work for someone else. This is also one of the main points of relationship anarchy. 

If relationship anarchy seems like something you’d like to try, make sure you follow its core principle when building relationships. After all, relationships should be about choice, freedom, and designing them intentionally. If the concept is something you want, explore it at your own pace and apply it to your life naturally.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Dissociation Symptoms

Dissociation Symptoms

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Dissociation Symptoms You Shouldn’t Ignore

 

Maybe you’re reading this because you notice certain dissociation symptoms or because you notice a mind and body disconnect. Whatever it is, more people are indeed experiencing dissociation without even realizing it. 

Dissociation is a protective response that occurs when we feel unsafe or uncomfortable in situations or places. People who don’t understand it may react by claiming someone is overreacting. This is why it is essential to understand the symptoms, causes, and when to get help for dissociation.

 

What Is Dissociation? 

The simplest way to describe dissociation is as a trauma response. This mental process occurs when the brain is either frozen or numbed because of an external or internal factor. When dissociation happens, there is a strong disconnection between your thoughts, feelings, memories, and sense of identity. 

Although each dissociation can be different, it is typically divided into two categories: depersonalization and derealization. Depersonalization refers to a sense of disconnect from the self. You could feel yourself as strange or unreal, or feel like you’ve become an observer of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations, body, or actions. 

Derealization, on the other hand, refers to a sense of disconnection from the environment. In such a case, you could feel detached from your surroundings, and the world around you might appear unreal, dreamlike, or distorted. For some, sounds may seem muffled or louder than they really are. 

Besides depersonalization and derealization, there is also dissociative amnesia, a memory loss disorder caused by trauma or stress. When experiencing dissociative amnesia, a person cannot recall important personal information. It is nothing like ordinary forgetfulness, because people who experience dissociative amnesia can forget entire periods of their lives, and it doesn’t refer to forgetting where you’ve left your keys or wallet. 

All of this makes it clear that dissociation exists on a spectrum. A person can mildly zone out or have severe episodes of depersonalization, derealization, or dissociative amnesia. 

 

The Most Common Symptoms of Dissociation

Depending on the type of dissociation, your symptoms may differ from those of others. If you feel numb or “checked out” in a circumstance, this may be one of the most typical symptoms of dissociation.

When dissociating, you may feel disconnected from your emotions. It could be very challenging for you to access your emotions and feelings. You could even feel like you are watching yourself from the outside, instead of being in your body.  

Aside from numbness, time gaps and memory blanking are frequent in dissociation. Dissociation might cause you to forget sections of discussions or events that occurred during a stressful situation. You may also feel as if you have lost track of time, whether you are alone or in a crowded setting.

When it comes to feeling detached from your body, you might experience a sense of lightness or heaviness, or feel like you’re floating. Some people even say that they were not able to recognize their own reflection while dissociating. 

Feeling the reality is not real is another very common dissociation symptom. Having dreamlike sensations or seeing the environment around you as foggy or distant can happen when you’re feeling dissociated. 

Although automatic pilot behavior can be a symptom of other conditions, it is often connected to dissociation. If you’re doing tasks without remembering even doing them and feeling like you’re in a robot mode, it could be a sign of dissociation. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions

Is dissociation the same as daydreaming?

Dissociation is not the same as daydreaming because daydreaming is a normal, voluntary mental escape. Dissociation is an involuntary disconnect from your thoughts, feelings, or environment, usually triggered by stress or overwhelm. 

Can dissociation happen even if I don’t have trauma?

While dissociation is common in trauma survivors, it can also happen during high stress, burnout, panic, chronic conflict, or emotional overload. You don’t need a “big event” for your mind to check out.

When should I seek help for dissociation?

If dissociation interferes with your daily functioning, relationships, memory, or sense of safety, it’s helpful to reach out to a trauma-informed therapist. You deserve support, and dissociation is treatable with the right tools and guidance.

 

Subtle Dissociation Signs Most People Miss

Besides the above-mentioned dissociation symptoms, there are a few subtle signs that many people could miss for a long time. Oftentimes, these signs are unobvious to everyone around this person as well. 

People who are experiencing dissociation often daydream as a way to escape their lives. They prefer to scroll numbly for hours just to avoid being present in the moment and aware of their environment. This is one of the most common subtle signs of dissociation in today’s society, driven by social media. 

Also, you might find yourself shutting down emotionally every time you experience a conflict. To avoid the stress, discomfort, or fear, you shut down all your emotions and do your best not to be aware of what is happening. 

Some people will laugh or smile when they are feeling overwhelmed with someone or something. This is also a subtle sign of dissociation, as it is a protective mechanism. The same goes for feeling disconnected during sex or intimacy. 

 

Why Dissociation Happens

Knowing how to recognize dissociation symptoms is one thing, yet learning why it occurs will help you understand if and when to seek professional support. In most cases, dissociation happened because the person was overwhelmed or under chronic stress. Unresolved trauma or childhood coping mechanisms are another common cause of dissociation. If you’ve experienced trauma when you didn’t have the tools to process and heal from it, you could have dissociative symptoms develop later on in life. 

 

Conclusion

Dissociation is not a flaw or a weakness. It is your mind’s way of protecting you when things feel too much. If you notice these symptoms in your daily life, take them as gentle signals from your nervous system asking for more support, grounding, and compassion. 

Healing begins with awareness, and every small step toward reconnecting with your body and emotions makes a difference. That said, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Consider talking to a therapist if you feel overwhelmed with your dissociation symptoms. The most important thing is to be patient with yourself as you explore what safety, presence, and connection can feel like again.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Impulsive vs. Compulsive Behavior Explained

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Impulsive vs. Compulsive Behavior Explained: Key Traits, Causes, and Examples 

 

Impulsive vs. compulsive behavior represents two distinct yet often confused types of behavior. An example of impulsive behavior would be resigning from your job because you had an idea of another career you’d like to pursue, without researching the new idea yet. Compulsive behavior, on the other hand, would be washing your hands as many times as you have the opportunity to relieve anxiety or obsessive thoughts. 

Both of these behaviors expose a certain pattern, yet many people are often unaware that they behave like this. This is why it’s important to learn its causes, triggers, and ways to deal with each of these behavior patterns. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the main difference between impulsive and compulsive behavior?

Impulsive behavior is driven by sudden urges or desires without considering consequences, while compulsive behavior involves repetitive actions performed to reduce anxiety or prevent something undesirable from happening.

Can a person be both impulsive and compulsive?

Yes. Some individuals experience both types of behaviors. For instance, an individual may act impulsively in certain situations and engage in compulsive rituals in other situations. Both can coexist, especially in conditions like ADHD or OCD.

How can impulsive and compulsive behaviors be managed?

Management often includes mindfulness practices, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), emotional regulation techniques, and, in some cases, medication. Building self-awareness and identifying triggers are key steps toward lasting behavioral change.

 

Impulsive Behavior

Simply put, impulsive behavior means acting quickly without thinking about the consequences of the action. As much as some people confuse it with spontaneity, it is more a pattern than being occasionally spontaneous. That said, an impulsive person will be spontaneous, emotionally driven, and thrill-seeking. 

Impulsive behavior is linked to immediate gratification, meaning that this impulsivity is often driven by the desire that seek results right away. The most common examples of such behavior are impulsive buying, binge eating, saying what’s on your mind without any filter, and risky decisions. Of course, we all do these activities from time to time, yet people with impulsive behavior will behave this way more often than not. 

Underlying Causes

When talking about the underlying causes of impulsive behavior, there are a few factors that need careful consideration. The first one is of a neurological nature, and it refers mainly to the dopamine reward system. By engaging in a rewarding activity, like shopping or eating, the brain releases dopamine, which then creates a sense of pleasure. This mechanism is why we often feel so tempted to repeat such behavior. 

Another cause that could lead to impulsive behavior is of a psychological nature. People with ADHD, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality traits will most often tend toward being impulsive. 

Environmental and situational triggers could also be responsible for impulsive behavior. Being under stress or peer pressure could make you become more impulsive than usual.

 

Compulsive Behavior

Compulsive behavior can best be defined as repetitive actions driven by an uncontrollable urge to minimize anxiety or discomfort. People with compulsive behavior are rigid, repetitive, and anxiety-driven. Unlike impulsive behavior, compulsivity is not based on desire. It feels more forced than desired because people with compulsive behavior perceive it difficult to fight these urges when they appear. 

The most common examples of compulsive behavior are excessive cleaning or checking, compulsive gambling, skin-picking, eating, and any type of ritualistic routine that seems impossible to skip.

Underlying Causes

Compulsive behavior can occur due to several possible causes. In many cases, people with compulsive behavior also have anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, trauma, or addictions. 

Oftentimes, such behavior is also caused by the imbalance in serotonin regulation, which is why it’s important to consult a doctor you trust to address it on time. Having such an imbalance will have a major impact on managing and treating compulsive behavior. 

Compulsive behavior can also be learned behavior, which is reinforced by temporary relief. This can be the case for people struggling with anxiety because they feel these repetitive actions can help them have control over situations that cause them anxiety. 

 

Key Differences Between Impulsive and Compulsive Behavior

It’s evident that these two behaviors are not synonyms, yet many people still confuse them. That is why it’s important to keep in mind their key differences. When it comes to motivation, impulsive behavior is motivated by pleasure or excitement, while compulsive behavior is motivated by relief from anxiety.

Even the timing is different for these two behavior patterns. Impulsive behavior happens suddenly, while compulsive behavior builds up over time. In other words, you can be impulsive from the first moment, yet compulsivity is something that requires repetition. 

Impulsive behavior often results in the person feeling regret or guilt, while compulsive behavior will more often lead to temporary relief. For instance, a person who binge eats might regret their impulsive decision to eat late. Someone who feels the urge to verify if they have locked the doors before going to sleep again will feel moments of relief until the anxiety returns.  

Another reason why many confuse these two behaviors is that one person can have both of them. A person can be both impulsive and compulsive because these behaviors overlap in conditions such as addiction, OCD, or borderline personality disorder. Furthermore, one behavior can evolve into the other over time. For instance, an impulsive gambler can develop a compulsive addiction.

 

Managing and Treating These Behaviors

It is possible to have a beautiful and fulfilling life if you have any of these behaviors. If you want to improve the quality of your life, consider self-awareness and emotional regulation techniques, such as journaling and mindfulness. 

People who behave impulsively or compulsively benefit greatly from seeking professional support. Talking to a mental health expert can help you understand your behavior and how to navigate it better. A therapist can also recommend techniques customized to your lifestyle and preferences. 

 

Conclusion

Understanding impulsive and compulsive behavior helps us recognize the difference between acting on immediate desires and feeling trapped in repetitive actions. While impulsivity seeks instant gratification, compulsivity aims to reduce discomfort. Both behaviors can be managed and treated efficiently. If you feel you’d benefit from talking to an expert, reach out to a therapist specialized in this area. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Do You Know if You Are Bisexual?

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How Do You Know if You Are Bisexual?

 

You’re probably here because you wanted to find out the answer to the question, ‘How do you know if you are bisexual?’ Bisexuality refers to being attracted to two sexes. If you’re feeling confused about what this term means or simply want to learn more about bisexuality in general, make sure you read the entire article. At the end, we will share tips on how to explore your sexuality safely.

 

What Does It Mean to Be Bisexual?

Think of bisexuality as a romantic attraction or sexual attraction toward both males and females. In general, bisexual people are attracted to more than one gender, whether it’s their own sex or a different one. 

However, this definition doesn’t imply that all people experience bisexuality in the same way. Bisexuality exists on a spectrum, which means that attraction towards another person or people can vary in timing, intensity, and sexual expression. 

If you’re new to this term, you might confuse it with pansexuality at first. Pansexuality is attraction to all genders, while bisexuality is attraction to more than one gender. Pansexual people feel attracted to someone regardless of their sex or gender identity. Some people identify with both terms and use them interchangeably, so you don’t have to pick one. See an LGBTQIA+ specialist if you feel confused!  

 

Common Signs You Might Be Bisexual

If you think you’re bisexual, you’ve likely felt attracted to your own sex and another. You might have called it a phase, yet now you feel your attraction for someone of the same sex is back. Whatever the case may be, the important thing to remember is that, although we use the words “gender” or “sex” when we define bisexuality, attraction doesn’t depend strictly on gender. It is often more about the person’s energy, personality, or the connection you share with them. 

A bisexual person will often have crushes or fantasies about different genders. As crushes do, this crush can differ from admiration or even fantasize about being intimate with them. 

Before identifying themselves as bisexual, they might often question whether they are straight or gay because their feelings don’t fit neatly in one of these boxes. They may feel gay at one time and straight at another, which can lead to additional confusion. It is common that attraction can shift over time or in different contexts, as it can sometimes be a spectrum across a person’s life.

You don’t have to prove your bisexuality, but it may help you connect with other bisexuals. Below, find a list of questions that can help you determine if you are bisexual: 

  • Have you ever felt romantic or emotionally attached to people of more than one gender?
  • Have you experienced physical or sexual attraction toward more than one gender, even in imagination or dreams?
  • Do you sometimes develop crushes or deep connections with people regardless of their gender identity?
  • Have you ever imagined being in a relationship or intimate situation with someone of a gender different from your past partners?
  • When you see people of different genders, do you find yourself drawn to their personalities or appearances in similar ways?
  • Have you ever questioned whether you are straight or gay?
  • Have you avoided exploring attraction to a certain gender because of fear of judgment or internalized shame?
  • In the absence of social expectations or stigma, how might you describe your attractions?

 

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to be bisexual?

Being bisexual means experiencing romantic and sexual attraction to more than one gender, which may not occur simultaneously, in identical ways, or with equal intensity; however, it is possible for these variations to happen. Some bisexual people may be more attracted to one gender, and that’s completely valid. It is as individual as a group of people going out to dinner – most people order different things! 

Do you have to date both men and women to be bisexual?

You don’t have to date men and women to be considered bisexual. Attraction defines bisexuality, not experience. You may identify as bisexual even if you have only dated individuals of one gender or none at all. 

Is bisexuality just a phase or confusion?

Bisexuality is not a phase or confusion. It is a valid and enduring sexual orientation. Some people discover or accept it later in life, yet that doesn’t make it a phase. 

 

Common Myths About Being Bisexual

Just like there are myths about almost anything in the sexual realm, the same goes for bisexuality. Unfortunately, such myths lead to people feeling confused about their sexuality, ashamed to talk about it with others, and isolated from the community that can provide them with the type of support they need. 

“It’s just a phase.”

Your sexuality can evolve, and you’re more than free to explore it as you wish. Each experience is unique, and making someone feel like their feelings are invalid is not beneficial for anyone. 

“Bisexual people are confused or greedy.” 

Bisexuality is a legitimate orientation that has nothing to do with confusion or greed. You have every right to feel attracted to, date, and love people of all genders. Even if your journey starts with confusion, remind yourself it’s completely normal to feel this way while figuring things out. 

“You have to like men and women equally.”

The myth that bisexuals are equally attracted to men and women is false. Don’t worry about the percentage or making sure you’re giving equal opportunities. Attraction is not something that can be or should be calculated.

“You’re only bisexual if you’ve dated both genders.”

 You are definitely bisexual even if you have not dated both genders. Bisexuality is not defined by dating or having sexual or romantic relationships with someone. Instead, bisexuality refers to feeling attracted to someone, and that attraction might or might not lead to dating, romance, and intimacy. 

 

How to Explore Your Sexuality Safely

If you’re new to identifying as bisexual or are still figuring out what it means, there are safe ways to do it. Depending on your personality, you may want to take your time before revealing your sexuality to the world. The best way to learn more about your sexuality is through journaling or reflecting on your attractions and emotional responses, or seeing an LGBTQ+ therapist.

Consider also talking to friends or family members who you know can support you during this journey. Having a support system is key to feeling relaxed when exploring a new territory, such as bisexuality. When you feel ready, you might want to join online LGBTQ+ communities or look for similar events and activities in your nearest safe city. 

Find movies or books that talk about bisexual experiences and consume content that resonates with you. Lastly, please keep in mind that you don’t have to explain or justify your sexuality to anyone. These labels are tools for understanding ourselves better and living our lives more authentically. Work with an identity-affirming therapist at our practice to get started understanding yourself today. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Impulsive Decision Making

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How to Break Free from Impulsive Decision Making

 

We’re all guilty of impulsive decision-making occasionally, yet this behavior can have serious consequences if not managed properly. If you’re unable to pause and think about whether a decision you are making is right for you or not, this article is the right place to start making positive changes. 

Acting quickly without weighing long-term consequences can have an impact on your finances, relationships, health, and career. However, noticing its consequences is one thing, and understanding why you are impulsive when making a decision and how to take back control is another. 

 

Understanding Impulsive Decision Making

Whenever you make a choice quickly and are driven by emotions or external triggers instead of rationally deciding whether or not you need something, you are making an impulsive decision. The idea is not to get rid of impulsive decision-making completely, as occasionally it is a wonderful way to motivate us to step outside of our comfort zone. However, if you’re making decisions without carefully considering the consequences, it can have a major impact on your life. 

Why are some people more impulsive than others? Several factors can contribute to your level of impulsivity, yet the most relevant is dopamine. Among other functions, this hormone is responsible for seeking external pleasures to feel satisfied (the reward and pleasure system). Dopamine makes us more likely to repeat behaviors that make our brains feel good. 

It is important to be aware that instant gratification can have negative consequences as well. Assume you enjoy eating chocolate and find that it makes you feel better every time. We are aware that eating a lot of chocolate on a daily basis will have negative health consequences. This principle can be applied to every other area of your life.

We make impulsive decisions because we’re bored and seek excitement, or maybe we feel pressured by our environment. Others tend to be impulsive because the idea of analyzing all the factors before making a decision is exhausting. Regardless of your trigger, it’s important to distinguish between healthy spontaneity and harmful impulsivity. 

 

The Cost of Impulsive Decisions

Unfortunately, impulsive decision-making can cause a lot of harm in a person’s life. If you’re guided by short-term relief, you could find yourself facing long-term consequences. For instance, making an impulsive decision to move to a country you’ve never visited before or quitting your job without organizing your financial situation first can all backfire. 

Impulsive decisions are expensive, whether you’re buying things you don’t need or joining activities just because others expect you to join. Not being able to reject suggestions or your own need to have something could lead to overspending and debt. 

Another thing to consider is the emotional cost of impulsive decision-making. If you buy things expecting they’ll change your life, you probably end up disappointed most of the time. People who make impulsive decisions often feel regret, self-guilt, or disappointment in themselves. Impulsive behavior can also include engaging in a discussion with a friend or a partner because you feel tired or stressed from work. Hurting the feelings of the person you care about can be a high cost of acting impulsively. 

Understanding the consequences of such behavior is crucial to changing it. The clearer you see the impact impulsive decision-making has on your life, the easier it will be to start implementing positive changes. 

 

Recognizing Your Impulse Triggers

Once your impulsive decisions start to have a toll on your life, you’ll probably start feeling motivated to do something about it. The first step in breaking free from impulsive decision-making is to recognize your triggers. 

Think about the last time you made an impulsive decision. What had led you to it? What is a common pattern when you’re impulsively deciding about something? You can spend some time contemplating it or write it down. Identifying patterns in your impulsive behavior is crucial to changing this behavior for good. 

When it comes to common triggers, think about these below: 

  • Emotional triggers include feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness, among others. 
  • Situational triggers include things like sales, deadlines, and social pressure, among others.
  • Biological triggers include hunger, fatigue, and hormonal shifts, among others. 

If none of these triggers resonate with you, use them as guidelines the next time you make an impulsive decision. Just by knowing the list of common triggers, you can recognize them more easily in your behavior the next time you’re impulsive. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions

What causes impulsive decision-making?

Strong emotions, brain chemistry, or external factors, such as pressure, deadlines, or tempting offers, often trigger impulsive decisions. Fatigue, hunger, or alcohol can also lower self-control and increase impulsivity.

Is impulsive decision-making always bad?

Impulsive decision-making is not always “bad.” It can help you react accordingly in an emergency or seize an unexpected opportunity. However, if you make all your life decisions impulsively, you may also encounter various negative consequences.

How is impulsive decision-making different from being spontaneous?

When you are spontaneous, you are open to new experiences and flexible, yet still aligned with values in your life. Impulsivity, on the other hand, is reactive and driven by urges; it often disregards consequences. 

 

From Weakness to Wisdom

After a while, making one impulsive decision after another can begin draining your energy and stressing you out. That is why recognizing your impulse triggers can help you turn your weakness into wisdom. Don’t waste your time on blaming yourself for your past decisions or the impact your impulsivity had on your life. Focus all your energy on changing your impulsive behavior every day. 

Many techniques can be quite useful once you decide to work on your impulsive decision-making, such as:

  • 5-minute rule of silence and passivity before making a decision
  • Deep breathing and grounding to calm the nervous system
  • Placing sticky notes or setting reminders on your phone to think well before making a decision
  • Observe your urges to make a decision and write down or describe how it feels
  • Think of decision rules that have to be followed in order to make a decision
  • Visualization of long-term consequences before acting
  • Therapy focused on taking accountability for your impulsivity and healing from it

 

Conclusion

Impulsive decision-making can turn your life upside down, no matter how much you try to apologize or make amends after the decision has been made. To stop this behavior, you must examine what causes you to make these decisions and how they affect you and others. You may need someone else to help you spot them! Gaining control over your decision-making process will enable you to make choices that align with your well-being. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Heteroflexibility

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Between Straight and Bi: Exploring Heteroflexibility

 

Heteroflexibility can best be defined as predominantly attraction towards the opposite sex, yet with some level of attraction towards people of the same sex. If you’ve ever heard someone say they are “mostly straight,” they are probably heteroflexible. Such a person will be more open to sexual or romantic experiences with people of the same gender, without the limitation of staying within the label of heterosexuality. 

Please continue reading if you would like further clarification on what heteroflexibility involves and how to appreciate it fully. We’ll explain the key differences between being straight or bisexual and being heteroflexible, plus much more. 

 

Bisexuality vs. Heteroflexibility

At first, you might confuse bisexuality with heteroflexibility, yet these two terms are not synonyms. Bisexuality is being attracted to more than one gender, but not necessarily equally. A bisexual person will be attracted to people across genders. 

Heteroflexibility, on the other hand, implies a person is primarily heterosexual, yet they have occasional attraction to the same sex. This means that a heteroflexible person will be mostly straight with a tendency to be attracted to people of the same sex. 

Furthermore, bisexuality is considered a sexual identity, as it acknowledges attraction patterns that are consistent over time. Heteroflexibility is more a descriptor of behavior or preference than a sexual identity. It gives freedom to those who feel somewhat straight but not entirely. 

 

Heteroflexibility Signs

Heteroflexibility is often described as the space between straight and bisexual. It is a space in which someone is mainly attracted to the opposite sex yet experiences occasional same-sex attraction. Unlike bisexuality, which acknowledges attraction to multiple genders as an ongoing orientation, heteroflexibility is usually more situational or occasional. 

Recognizing the signs of heteroflexibility can help you better understand your desires. These signs don’t define anyone definitively. However, the signs listed below may point toward heteroflexible tendencies:

  • Primarily identifying as straight with occasional same-sex attraction
  • Feeling comfortable flirting, kissing, or experimenting with someone of the same sex without identifying as bisexual
  • Same-sex attraction tends to appear in specific contexts, such as nightlife, close friendships, etc. 
  • Viewing attraction as more situational than consistent
  • Having preferences for opposite-sex relationships while remaining open to rare same-sex encounters
  • Not feeling the need for a queer label, yet acknowledging some degree of fluidity
  • Being curious about same-sex intimacy without seeking it as a core identity

 

Heteroflexibility in Practice

Dating while heteroflexible can feel both freeing and complicated. On one hand, you may enjoy the flexibility of being open to attraction outside of the traditional “straight” label. However, that openness can create challenges in relationships. 

Partners who identify as straight may not fully understand what heteroflexibility means and could dismiss it as “just a phase. Members of the queer community might question whether it’s a valid identity or see it as avoiding the bisexual label. These misunderstandings can lead to feelings of not fully belonging in either world. 

Because of this, open communication is key. Being honest about your experiences, your sexuality, and what it means for your commitment to a partner can help prevent insecurity or assumptions. Being heteroflexible encourages deeper conversations about attraction, boundaries, and authenticity in relationships.

 

How to Explore Heteroflexibility in a Safe Way

Exploring heteroflexibility can be exciting and also deeply personal. Safety is crucial for both emotional and physical levels. If you’re curious about same-sex attraction while primarily identifying as straight, the process doesn’t have to feel rushed or pressured. Moving at your pace and being intentional about the situations you step into are crucial.

This is how you can start exploring heteroflexibility in a safe way and at your own pace: 

  • Journal or think through what you’re curious about (e.g., emotional connection, physical intimacy, or simply testing boundaries).
  • If you’re dating or in a relationship, be transparent with your partner about your curiosity and experiences you would like to try.
  • Your exploration doesn’t need to be sexual. Instead, start with what you feel most comfortable with, whether that is flirting, conversations, or entering a queer-friendly social space.
  • Whether online or in person, ensure any experiences are mutual and respectful.
  • Use safe sex practices and be mindful of emotional well-being as much as physical.
  • Seek supportive spaces like LGBTQ+ groups, forums, or events that spark your interest. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions

What does heteroflexible mean?

Being heteroflexible entails having an interest in the opposite sex yet experiencing occasional attraction to the same sex. People who are heteroflexible will often describe themselves as mostly straight. 

How is heteroflexibility different from bisexuality?

Bisexuality is a sexual identity, and it refers to being attracted to people across all genders. Heteroflexibility can be considered a descriptor of behavior or preference. Although both terms share interest in more than one gender, heteroflexible people will mostly feel attraction to heterosexual people of the opposite sex.

Is heteroflexibility just a phase?

Heteroflexibility is typically not just a phase, although it could be. For some, it may be part of exploring their sexuality before adopting another label. For others, heteroflexibility is a long-term identity that best describes their experiences.

Do heteroflexible people belong in the LGBTQ+ community?

There is an ongoing debate on whether heteroflexible people belong in the LGBTQ+ community because some community members feel it minimizes bisexuality. Others strongly feel that heteroflexibility is a part of queer identity. Whether someone belongs to a certain community depends mostly on how they relate to it. 

Do I need to label myself as heteroflexible?

You don’t have to label yourself as heteroflexible to enjoy heteroflexible experiences with the same sex. Labels can be quite helpful when understanding your sexual identity and desires, yet it’s not mandatory to use them. 

 

Conclusion 

If you are still exploring the meaning of heteroflexibility and do not feel comfortable experiencing it yet, please take your time. Each person can discover aspects of their sexuality as they wish. You could spend some time researching or talking to heteroflexible people first. If you believe you would benefit by talking about it, meet our team. We are able to help you explore the subject for yourself without judgment. 

That being said, keep in mind that labels are useful when you want to connect with like-minded people, whether that’s finding them online or attending an event in your city. However, focusing too much on labeling yourself might limit you more than you realize. You could rush into defining yourself as heteroflexible and skip certain steps of this journey. Discovering your own sexual identity should be fun, safe, and freeing. Labels emerge naturally from that process. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Celebrities With Depression: The Reality Behind Fame

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Celebrities With Depression: The Reality Behind Fame

 

You’ve probably come across an article or two about celebrities with depression. Regardless of how you feel about these celebrities, it’s undeniable that this type of lifestyle can result in a range of mental health consequences. No amount of money or fame can protect you from experiencing anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or any other mental health condition. Exposure to public opinion and harsh online comments can only worsen it for people who have become public figures due to their career choice. 

If you feel like the burden of this lifestyle is becoming too heavy to carry, this article is for you. We’ll discuss reasons why celebrities experience depression, how it affects them and their careers, and how to seek help. 

 

What Leads Celebrities Into Depression? 

It’s not to say that being famous immediately means you have to experience depression as well. However, this lifestyle can expose you to factors you wouldn’t experience in other careers. An accountant will probably not have to deal with thousands of anonymous Internet users sharing opinions about their work performance, looks, or love life. As a celebrity, you run a serious risk of exposing everything you wish to keep private to strangers. 

Becoming wealthy doesn’t mean all your insecurities, childhood traumas, and fears have disappeared. If you were insecure before fame, you will most likely continue feeling the same way. You might even start experiencing the lack of support in your life or from the general public, as many people wrongly assume that rich people don’t deserve to complain about their problems. What they do forget is that professional success doesn’t guarantee well-being. 

Another issue you might encounter is feeling like you shouldn’t complain because you’re enjoying more benefits than ever. However, this guilt will limit your ability to build genuine relationships in your personal and professional life. You can love your job but still be unhappy with its results. 

Going back to our example from above, an accountant needs to be of a certain age before they start working. You have to finish school and get an accounting degree, which means you wouldn’t be able to work underage. In the entertainment industry, we can see actors, models, and singers performing from a very young age. 

The Olsen twins – a hit sensation as infants – growing up under the spotlight! Millie Bobby Brown was 12 years old when she filmed Stranger Things and became famous worldwide. Willow Smith was featured in Billboard’s 21 Under 21 list at 9. Growing up in the spotlight and encountering negative criticism and comments from a young age can significantly impact one’s mental health. 

 

Depression Signs in Celebrities 

As much as depression signs in celebrities will not differ from those of non-famous people, they might be ignored. You might start feeling unmotivated to get out of your bed, yet your busy schedule and so many people depending on you could make you overlook the early signs of depression. Being financially responsible for your family can also lead to being used and everyone else having their needs above yours. 

Here are some signs of depression to help you decide: 

  • Notable weight gain or loss
  • Frequently appearing worn out, disheveled, or withdrawn from your usual look
  • Canceling interviews, concerts, or public appearances
  • Going silent on social media for extended periods
  • Avoiding paparazzi and red carpet events
  • Tearfulness during interviews or unexpected moments
  • Being irritable, impatient, or overly subdued in public
  • Feeling hopelessness or being “empty”
  • Delaying or abandoning projects without clear explanations
  • Turning down roles, tours, or collaborations you were once excited about
  • Struggling to focus, answer questions, or engage in conversations
  • Feeling overwhelmed by fame or life

If you’re experiencing any of these signs, this doesn’t imply that you should be diagnosed with depression. However, it would be best to reach out to a trusted mental health professional who can assess the situation and suggest the best treatment and support for you. 

 

Mental Health Support for Celebrities 

As a celebrity, you will probably want to seek mental health support away from the public eye, which can be challenging sometimes. Luckily, there are many more options now than ten years ago. 

If your schedule is too hectic, you might benefit from visiting a walk-in therapy clinic, which offers confidential visits without long booking waits. If you prefer to find a trusted therapist and work with them more than just once, you can find someone who offers private office therapy. These types of therapists typically work in a secure, non-public location, as their clients are mostly celebrities and public figures. 

If you’d be more comfortable talking to a professional in your home, you can request at-home therapy sessions. A therapist can come to your home or hotel room at an agreed time and provide support and guidance that way. 

You can opt for phone therapy, text therapy, or video therapy, which are the most common remote and flexible options among all clients. Some people find it more comfortable to talk to their therapist over video, while others might feel less pressure with email or text therapy. 

Depending on the amount of your free time and the seriousness of your condition, consider a VIP mental health center or a retreat gateway. Mental health practices such as these offer anonymity and personalized text programs, while retreats can differ in time, audience type, and theme. 

 

Your Healing Can Inspire Others

As a public person, you can help bring awareness to depression and mental health issues in celebrities. You can even inspire your fanbase to take better care of themselves. To heal and find joy, ask for help and speak up if you need to. Selena Gomez has spoken on this topic many times, G-Eazy discusses his mental health in his music, and Jim Carrey has spoken openly about emotional turmoil. 

The point is that how you feel is nothing to be ashamed of. Once you start taking proper care of yourself, you will have more capacity to love and help others. It will also positively impact your career and prepare you for a fulfilling future. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

5 Signs You Need Therapy 

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5 Signs You Need Therapy 

 

Sometimes it’s hard to tell, yet here are 5 signs you need therapy. Interestingly, at some point in our lives, we all encounter stress, anxiety, and mood swings. 

Whether it’s because of rejection in the workplace, financial issues, interpersonal connection issues, or grieving a lost one, we unfortunately all have suffering in our lives. 

It’s ok to need help. It’s ok that there are signs you need therapy, 

You might not be able to “snap out of it” because you’re feeling down or empty. Or perhaps you’ve noticed some unhealthy patterns in your behavior that you find difficult to change. The symptoms of mental or emotional strain might sometimes be plain to see. However, sometimes it is more difficult to identify them.

Our energy, productivity, and health are directly impacted by our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Taking care of your mental health makes it easier for you to cope when life throws itself at you. So here are 5 signs you need therapy

1. You find it difficult to manage your emotions. 

Even while everyone experiences sadness, anxiety, or anger at some point in their lives, it’s crucial to be aware of how frequently or strongly a person experiences any of these feelings. Anger frequently appears as part of a depressed episode. In fact, because men’s irritability or short temper is mistakenly seen as a masculine trait, melancholy in males is frequently overlooked. Uncontrolled rage can also signify negative thoughts about oneself or the outside world, frustration, or a poorly controlled stress response, in addition to despair. 

In a similar vein, persistently feeling down, empty, and uninterested in anything could be an indication of clinical depression. This is distinct from a depressed mood, which everyone experiences occasionally. 

Many adolescents and young people exhibit impatience, wrath, or hostility toward others rather than experiencing increasing grief. Therapy can help you to better manage emotions. Think of your therapy as an honest, objective, and private environment that helps you to examine painful sensations, comprehend their underlying causes, put them in context, and learn coping mechanisms to overcome such sentiments.

2. Your performance is negatively impacted. 

One of the symptoms of emotional problems is a decline in performance at work or school. Mental health problems can affect one’s ability to pay attention, concentrate, remember things, and / or be energetic. They can also cause numbness, which can make it difficult to even want to go to work. 

Therapy can help by solving problems and helping you with practicing relaxation techniques. Similarly, a therapist can help you learn how to successfully self-regulate your behavior and develop more adaptive coping mechanisms for stress.

3. You notice changes or disruption in sleep or appetite.

Our sleep and appetite can be significantly impacted by mental health issues. A person who is anxious may have trouble sleeping, yet a person who is depressed may sleep all the time, even when they aren’t tired. 

When under stress, some people overeat to numb their emotions, while others barely eat. Therefore, it may be time to take a step back and carefully evaluate the issue if you realize that you have been eating in a disordered way, for an extended period of time.

4. You cannot keep relationships.

Our mental health can have a range of effects on our relationships, including making us withdraw from those who are important to us, creating uneasiness in a partnership, or making us severely rely on another person for emotional support. People experiencing psychological or emotional difficulties may find it challenging to build relationships at work or school, collaborate in teams, or communicate with superiors, coworkers, or subordinates. 

New or ongoing relationships may suffer as a result of any of these circumstances. Therapy can be helpful if you frequently find yourself at odds with people or struggle to express your emotions to others. You can learn better social skills from a qualified therapist, like respectful assertiveness. 

5. You have experienced traumatic events. 

Talk therapy can help those who have experienced past physical abuse or other trauma. In a private, judgment-free setting, psychotherapy creates a safe place for someone that is trauma-informed. 

A therapist can also assist the client in learning skills for overcoming triggers and the hold that the trauma has over them. 

These are 5 signs you need therapy, yet there are many more. If friends have mentioned you consider it, take their advice. There isn’t much to lose, and you can find a new therapist if the first ones aren’t a match. 

Check Out All Our Additional Therapy Video

Positive Body Image: Learn to Love Your Look

Anger Management Counseling – Get Video Help Now

Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Define Parasocial Relationships

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How to Define Parasocial Relationships & How They Impact Us

 

If you’re uncertain how to define parasocial relationships, think of them as deep connections towards influencers, celebrities, or fictional characters. Feeling a certain connection to a person you don’t actually know is not new, although many assume it resulted from social media. Before, people felt that type of connection with fictional characters from their favorite books or with musicians they saw perform. In the 1940s, Frank Sinatra made women feel deep connections without knowing him personally. They didn’t know him personally, yet his persona was more than enough for thousands of women across the US to feel that deep connection to him. 

Unlike romantic relationships, parasocial bonds are one-sided—only one person invests emotional energy. This is why such a type of relationship needs to be clearly distinguished from all other relationship types we build during our lifetime. This article explores how parasocial relationships evolve in the digital age and what to remember.

 

Parasocial Relationships Then & Now

It’s true that parasocial relationships were never discussed as much as they are now. However, this term was first coined in the 1950s by Horton and Wohl after the appearance of television. They saw TV audiences forming intimacy with people they had never met.

Parasocial relationships have remained largely unchanged. Parasocial ties are one-sided emotional bonds where the other person remains unaware. This lack of reciprocity occurs because the individuals targeted by this one-sided connection are those who are well known to larger audiences. Today, this can be anyone with public exposure, such as influencers, actors, musicians, artists, podcast hosts, comedians, etc. 

The most common type of parasocial relationship is fans with their celebrity. Fans follow celebrities online, consume their content, read updates, and discuss them.

 

Why Do Parasocial Relationships Form?

If you’ve never been in a parasocial relationship, you might be curious about what causes someone to form such a unique bond with another person. As social creatures, we all feel the need to belong and connect with others. Some people don’t find building relationships easy in their lives, so they turn to celebrities to form a certain type of connection with them. When you feel connected to someone you don’t know personally, you can imagine them however you want. You can even forget that they’re normal human beings with flaws. If that’s the case, a parasocial relationship here is a form of defense mechanism.

It can also happen that a person projects their ideals onto the object of their desire. For instance, you might see someone fighting for a cause you are passionate about, and your admiration for their courage may lead to the development of feelings for them. In today’s era, parasocial relationships are also more common because of the accessibility to public figures. Social media blurs boundaries between public and private and familiar and unfamiliar. Just by following someone on Instagram and seeing their content, you could be under the impression you know them and therefore start feeling connected to them. 

 

Benefits of Parasocial Relationships

Although parasocial relationships are unique, they offer certain benefits to people experiencing this type of connection with a public figure. Admiring their values, art, or self-expression can give emotional comfort during hard times.

Your role models can also inspire or motivate you. What you admire in them helps you define your values and goals. Admiring an artist’s activism can inspire you to create positive change too. You might volunteer, research, or take action to feel you’re making a difference. After all, celebrities and influencers are not the only ones who have an impact on other people’s lives. 

Parasocial relationships can create community through fan groups or online forums. It’s always nice to connect with people who share the same interests. 

 

Potential Downsides of Parasocial Relationships 

Just like there are upsides to parasocial relationships, you will have to be aware of potential downsides as well. One of the issues is having unrealistic expectations of relationships. A one-sided emotional engagement can provide limited results, often making one uncomfortable when faced with all the challenges of dating a person in real life. Your beloved celebrity cannot hurt your feelings by not showing up on the first date, cheating on you, or leaving you. Similarly, they cannot provide you with the level of intimacy and care a person in your life would. 

Some parasocial relationships can also result in emotional dependency or obsession. You might become so connected to this person that you don’t feel the need to engage with people in your world or do things you used to love. If you notice that all you care about is them, it would be best to immediately reduce the time spent on checking their social media accounts or reading the news. 

 

Conclusion

Parasocial relationships can be very beneficial and inspiring if you maintain a healthy balance. You might learn what you are passionate about, what qualities you look for in a romantic partner, and so many other things. We’re living in a digital age in which we are learning so much about celebrities, influencers, and artists apart from their work, so it’s not so unusual to develop a certain connection to them. What matters most is to find people who are able to meet your emotional and romantic needs in person if you want to be in a relationship. Who knows, maybe they, too, admire the same person as you do!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack

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How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack

 

Knowing how to react properly when someone is having a panic attack can be a lifesaver, yet most of us are not aware of what would actually help in that moment. A panic attack is a sudden episode of severe fear that triggers intense physical reactions in a situation that is not dangerous or harmful in any way. Nevertheless, panic attacks can be very frightening. A person experiencing this could think they are losing control, having a heart attack, or even dying.

Imagine your friend or a coworker experiencing a panic attack. What would you do? Being calm and supportive can help tremendously when you’re close to a person having this experience. After reading our detailed guide, you will know exactly what to do when someone is having a panic attack. 

 

Recognizing the Signs of a Panic Attack

First off, you don’t need to experience what it’s like to have a panic attack to be able to help someone go through such an experience. Although they are not rare, it’s possible that you can live your entire life without having one, while someone close to you has experienced it on several occasions already. 

Certain signs can indicate to you that your friend, partner, coworker, or anyone else is having a panic attack at the moment:

  • Rapid heartbeat or palpitations
  • Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • Chest pain or tightness
  • Sweating
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Feeling hot or having chills
  • Dizziness, lightheadedness, or faintness
  • Nausea or stomach discomfort
  • Tingling or numbness in hands, feet, or face
  • Feeling of choking or throat tightness
  • Overwhelming sense of fear, dread, or impending doom
  • Feeling detached from reality or from oneself
  • Sudden urge to escape the situation
  • Inability to answer questions in a clear and focused way

When discussing the signs of a panic attack, it’s important to remember that they don’t last long. Typically, a panic attack will appear suddenly, without any obvious warning. In the first ten minutes, the person will probably experience the peak of the panic attack, and its signs should start diminishing until they disappear entirely. The duration of panic attacks can be anywhere from a few minutes to 20 or 30 minutes. 

 

Helping a Person Having a Panic Attack

Being close to a person experiencing a panic attack might seem frightening, yet you will need to do your best to stay calm and provide support. How you handle this situation can have a tremendous impact on the person having the panic attack. 

 

1.Provide Stability Instead of Fear

There’s no doubt that you’ll be affected by such an experience; however, it’s crucial to provide stability and reassurance instead of making things worse. When you approach the person having a panic attack, make sure you speak slowly and gently. Raising your voice can only trigger them and push them further into this state of panic. Also, validate their feelings and show them you’re compassionate. This will take off the pressure and allow them to feel safe with you. 

 

2.Guide Them to Focus on Breathing

The best way to combat signs of a panic attack is through breathing. Guiding the person to do simple breathing exercises with you can calm their nervous system and help them feel more present. Suggest that they inhale and exhale slowly, while you count the seconds. Breathe with them and repeat this exercise several times until you notice they are starting to feel calmer. Slowing the exhale is especially important as calm breathing helps regulate the nervous system, which is crucial for someone experiencing a panic attack. 

 

3.Use Grounding Techniques

Once you’ve done the breathing exercises and you notice that the peak of the panic attack is gone, you should practice grounding techniques with them. Ask them to name five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste. While doing this exercise, you can help them focus on the temperature of the floor, the material of the chair, the fabric of their clothes, etc. 

 

4. Give Them Space if Needed

Before you start doing any of the breathing or grounding exercises, make sure you’re aware of their personal boundaries. If a person seems to struggle or is nervous because of the techniques or support you’re providing, stop on time and do something that will help calm them down. Look for signs they may need less from you, whether it’s fewer words or fewer activities. Don’t over-question them and allow them to have a moment to simply breathe and become aware of what’s happening. 

 

5. Stay With Them Until They Recover

Some panic attacks last longer than others. Even if you’ve supported this person during a panic attack, it doesn’t necessarily imply that the next one will be the same. A person can experience different symptoms or have a longer or shorter attack period. Regardless of the duration, it’s important to stay with them even when you start noticing the symptoms are disappearing. Ask them if they need something like a glass of water or to stretch their body. Maybe they will want to talk about what just happened, or they will want you to sit with them in silence. Whatever it is, make sure you stay and show them you care. 

 

When to Seek Medical Help

Although it’s crucial to provide adequate and valuable support to the person having a panic attack, it’s best to seek medical help if you notice their symptoms don’t subside. If you suspect it is a medical emergency, don’t wait for more than a few minutes. 

Some people might confuse a heart attack for a panic attack, so it’s best to act quickly. Ask the person to list all the symptoms they are experiencing. This can help you have a better idea of the situation you’re encountering. 

If you’re not alone, ask the closest person to call the ambulance, while you ensure that the person is staying conscious and is focused on their breathing. Your help in such moments can be crucial, and it can decrease the intensity or duration of the panic attack. That is why it’s important to understand what the person is going through and which techniques to apply.

If you are suffering with anxiety, get the anxiety video for a step by step guide to help at home! 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Do I Forgive Someone & Move On?

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How Do I Forgive Someone & Move On?

 

If you’re wondering how do I forgive someone, you’ve come to the correct place. Some things are easier to forgive, while others are not so much. Whether you are able to forgive someone also depends on how close you are to that person and the act or words that caused you harm. Without a doubt, forgiveness is a complex topic.

Learn the best way to forgive someone and how it can allow you to live your life peacefully. This article also explains how to prepare yourself to forgive someone and how to share it with them. 

 

Forgive or Not to Forgive? 

Before we get into the steps of forgiveness, let’s take a moment to see how to determine whether or not you should forgive someone who did you wrong. This person might have lied to you, betrayed you, or hidden something from you. Whatever it was, you were hurt, and now you’re uncertain whether you should forgive them or not. 

Consider the following questions to determine whether forgiveness is possible:

  • Was the harm intentional or accidental?
  • Have they taken full responsibility without deflecting blame?
  • Did they make any effort to repair the damage or make amends?
  • Are they expressing sincere remorse, or are they primarily concerned about the consequences?
  • Do you feel safe around them now?
  • Are they willing to do the work needed to rebuild trust?
  • Is forgiveness something you’re doing for them or yourself?

 

How to Forgive Someone Important to You

Forgiving someone important to you can be tough because the hurt often cuts deeper. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm. It’s about freeing yourself from resentment and choosing peace over pain. Before jumping to the forgiveness part, you should ensure you’ve taken care of your emotional well-being first.

 

1.Acknowledge How You Feel

Even if somebody hurts us unintentionally, it still hurts. Don’t put yourself in their shoes until you’ve truly felt how it feels to be in your own. Many people will try to avoid the discomfort they feel after being hurt, and they might jump to empathize with or forgive the person right away. 

Instead, allow yourself to feel the pain. Familiarize yourself with the emotions you’re feeling and give them time to show up in different ways. Ask yourself how to support yourself more during this period, whether that’s through journaling, talking to your best friend, crying while watching sad movies, or listening to heartbreaking music. 

 

2.Understanding Over Justifying 

As much as you might love this person, don’t justify their actions or words. It’s one thing to think about why they did something and another to justify them completely. Justification takes away their responsibility, and it doesn’t allow you to truly heal. 

Being curious about the context of their behavior can help you see this person from a different perspective. Does what they did change how you see them as a person? Could you please let me know if there were any indicators before the oversight? Are they likely to repeat this behavior?

 

3.Deciding If You Want to Forgive

What is your motivation for forgiveness? Are you only trying to move past this awkward situation between the two of you? Do you feel under pressure to forgive what this person or other people in your life have done to you? 

Understanding whether the forgiveness is an opportunity to strengthen the relationship or not is also crucial for your well-being. If you’re scared that they’ll do the same thing again or you’re uncertain if they feel remorse, you’re not ready to forgive them. Take more time for yourself, regardless of what anyone might say or think about it.  

 

4.Having a Heart-to-Heart Conversation

Before you forgive them, make sure you have a conversation with them when you feel ready. Be very clear on what you want to say, yet be open to hearing their side of the story. Letting them say how this experience was for them in their own words can give you a better understanding of the person in front of you.

An open, honest dialogue is not the solution to your problem, yet it is a useful tool to assess the situation better. Are they aware of the impact this had on you? Could you please let us know what steps they are prepared to take to prevent this from occurring in the future? Lastly, don’t forget that you don’t have to forgive them during the conversation. You can take some time to digest this information first and then revise how you feel about forgiving them.

 

5.Releasing Anger

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget what has been done to you. But if you want to repair a relationship with someone who hurt you, you must do so without anger, revenge, or resentment. Forgiveness requires letting go of the thing that happened and focusing on repair. 

If you forgive them yet feel angry about it, it only means your forgiveness was premature. It’s crucial to honor your emotional process, even if it takes you longer than you expected. 

 

Forgiving Someone Who’s Not Here Anymore 

This often happens when people try to deal with their childhood traumas in adulthood, yet one or both parents are no longer alive. You might wonder if it is possible to forgive a person who is no longer alive and receive your forgiveness. The answer is yes, of course. 

Forgiveness is mostly dependent on how you feel about something and if you’re ready to forgive. Even if a person is not here to correct their wrongs, it doesn’t mean you can’t forgive them and let go of that burden. 

That said, make sure you’re not making yourself forgive someone just because they’re not alive anymore. You have every right to feel frustrated, sad, or betrayed, and ignoring your feelings will only hurt you. If you want to talk about it, we are here to help.

 

Conclusion 

Forgiveness is essential for moving on because it frees us from the emotional weight of anger, resentment, and pain. Holding onto past hurts keeps us in a cycle of suffering, while forgiveness creates space for healing, growth, and peace. It doesn’t mean condoning what happened or forgetting the impact; it means choosing not to let the wound define your future. By releasing blame, we reclaim our power, paving the way for emotional clarity and deeper self-respect. Forgiveness is not a favor to the one who hurt us, but a gift we give ourselves to move forward with a lighter heart.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.