Advanced Sex Games for Couples
It’s time to have some fun and talk about easy sex games for couples you can use to keep things new and playful with your partners!
We’re all stressed out right now. Most of us are quarantined at home, worried about the coronavirus and the latest news on shutdowns and phased openings. Frankly, it can be overwhelming. When stress enters our lives, it distracts us from what we should be focused on. That includes the people we love and those we want to have sex with!
In my time with clients during the pandemic, sometimes the little problems or inequalities in our sexual relationships become larger. One person wants sex all of the time to take their mind off what’s going on, and another partner isn’t thinking about sex because they’re trying to hold it all together.
Sex games are the perfect way to lighten the mood and connect with your partner on a different level than what you’re accustomed to.
Here are some Kink/BDSM games and tantra tips that you can use immediately to shake things up.
What Is Kink and BDSM?
BDSM is thought of as a kinky and non-traditional sexual activity.
What’s non-traditional, you might ask?
As a long-time sex therapist, I probably have a different idea of what “normal” sex looks like than most people.
I think everyone has some type of kink, whether it be a sexual fantasy, a certain type of body shape, or some sexual power dynamic that really gets them off. I’m here to say, that’s totally OK!
Exploring your kink means you’re diving into what sex can do for you and how you feel the best with yourself and your sexual partners. Everyone’s into something, just most people are not into everything.
BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) is the intersection where power dynamics and sexuality meet. Yes, there are typically toys and props like whips, chains, leashes, and other things involved. Some people love being tied up. Those are merely props. The main thing is the intention and the power play at work with the people having sex.
Sex Games for Couples New to BDSM
If you’re exploring your kink and want to give BDSM a try, here’s a game for you. It’s a fun and light game that will help introduce the idea of being powerful at times and submissive at others. What it involves is writing down certain parts of your body like back, lips, nipples, or thighs.
Then, on a different set of papers, you write out certain actions like a blow, suck, lick, or caress. Get creative! You and your partner take turns pulling one item from each list. So, you might get lick – nipples, and then have to lick your partner’s nipples and so forth.
The BDSM part is you allowing your partner to have the power as you submit to their sexual act and vice versa.
Who’s Calling the Shots?
Flipping the switch with who’s in charge during sex is another fun BDSM game that will ease you into the dominant/submissive world. It’s a simple concept.
At one- or two-minute intervals, you and your partner flip a coin to decide who is calling the shots. When you’re in charge, anything goes, and the same goes for when your partner’s boss. Of course, you should agree to some boundaries before playing with BDSM, so you both can feel safe exploring your sexuality.
Getting Deeper Into the BDSM World
As you become more comfortable in the BDSM world, you can start to introduce props into sex. Things like blindfolds, chains, ropes, whips, and other props sharpen the physical and emotional power dynamic during sex.
One great game to play with props is to tie your partner up and blindfold them, making them totally under your control. You can use vibrators to tantalize and tease them, slowing or speeding the pace of how turned on they are.
How far you’ll go will depend on your and your partner’s kink level. As you mess around with humiliation and degradation, you open yourself to new sexual experiences.
What Is Tantra?
Tantra is Sanskrit for weaving the energy between lovers. It emphasizes a very deep level of physical and emotional sexual connection.
Breathing is a big part of tantra. It’s the number one thing you need to be mindful of when you’re practicing tantric sex. You want it to be cyclical. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
Sound also plays a big role. When I went to the Hawaii Tantra Festival, I realized how important sound is in sex. Different sounds elicit different reactions. We use different voices with friends, children, and pets, so why not our sexual partners?
Pay attention to the noises you make during sex. Why are you keeping your voice down? Do you feel comfortably letting out a loud moan when a touch fills you up? Explore the sounds you make. The sexual experience includes grunts, moans, requests, and make the sounds we want to.
Tantra Sex Games for Couples
Tantra games start early. You can begin by being touchy and flirty on a date or early in the day as you let your partner know you’re up for some fun later on. Here are a few fun tantric sex activities to try.
Massages – A massage table and some high-quality oils are a great way to teach each other how you like to be touched. You can lay your partner on the bed or the massage table and caress their body slowly with oils.
Your hands can eventually find their way to your partner’s breasts, vagina, or penis as the massage continues. You can even use your body instead of your hands for the massage. Climb up on the bed or table and, as you straddle over your partner, rub them with your chest, abdomen, and legs.
Eventually, you and your partner won’t be able to stand it anymore and you’ll move straight into some amazing, oily sex.
Striptease – Switch up the sexual routine by ordering your partner to lay on the bed and face you. Stand at the foot of the bed and begin to move side to side as you take off your clothing piece by piece. Extra points if you turn on some music to set the mood and already have on some sexy underwear before things heat up.
Finger Tracing – Grab your partner’s hands and show them where you like to be touched. Spend at least ten minutes guiding their hands around your arms, neck, thighs, butt, and other places that turn you on. Teach them, as you control your breathing, how to stimulate you and ask them to do the same for you.
Sex games for couples offer so much fun and pleasure for everyone. Learn the art of scheduling time for pleasure to take mood out of the game. When both of you know what’s on the table for sex, it makes offering consent and buy-in easier. Stop living with the idea that arousal lives outside of yourself and accept responsibility for your pleasure.
Ultimately, it will make sex games more rewarding and create an incredibly strong sexual bond between you and your partner.
You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.
If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it.
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