Sleep Divorce

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Sleep Divorce: Is It Good or Bad For Your Marriage? 

 

Have you heard about sleep divorce? Maybe you’re not familiar with the term, yet it’s probably something you have an opinion about. Sleep divorce refers to sleeping in separate bedrooms with the ultimate objective of improving sleep quality. By doing so, you can avoid inconveniences such as snoring, CPAP machine noise, insomnia, differing sleep schedules, temperature preferences, and so on. 

The practice can be especially beneficial for couples who have different sleep patterns or poor sleep quality. However, is it a good or a bad thing for your marriage? What should you know about sleep divorce before you implement it into your marriage? We bring you all the answers. 

 

Definition of Sleep Divorce

Sleep divorce refers to an arrangement in which romantic partners who live together choose to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms to improve the quality of their sleep. Although you might assume at first, sleep divorce doesn’t refer to isolating from your partner after an argument. It is a conscious decision between two partners to improve their sleep and intimacy. 

This decision can be made at any time in your relationship or marriage, yet it’s made for the benefit of both partners. For example, your partner might snore every night, causing you to sleep poorly and go to work exhausted. Doing this for weeks or months can lead to arguments, irritation, and frustration with your marriage and everything else in your life.

To avoid it, some couples decide to sleep apart. After a while, these couples report better sleep quality and improved intimacy. That said, not every couple is the same and what works for some might not work for your relationship. 

 

Addressing Potential Challenges

Every new idea comes with a set of challenges, and sleep divorce is no exception. It’s crucial to avoid any misunderstanding that might occur when talking to your partner about this idea. If they are not so open to discuss it, explain to them that it’s not a sign of emotional distance. On the contrary, sleep divorce boosts intimacy and your personal well-being. 

Depending on your views on commenting on your decisions with other people, you might fear how they feel about it. Social stigma or fear of judgment is an important factor if one of you feels the need for approval from others. If this is the case with your partner, try to be comprehensive and share your perspective with them. 

Even if your partner is accepting of sleep divorce, you will still have to discuss navigating intimacy and sex. Deciding to sleep in separate rooms will change how you approach each other for sex, cuddling, or pillow talk. You can decide which days you wish to have time for intimacy. Alternatively, you can choose to be physically intimate before heading to your separate rooms. 

Lastly, there is also guilt or fear of rejection. A person suggesting trying a sleep divorce might feel conflicted about it before even discussing it with a partner.

 You may want to try this approach, whether your goal is to improve your sleep quality or to enhance intimacy with your partner. Just because you’re next to them all night doesn’t mean you’re intimate. Intimacy requires intention, and sleep divorce can give you that. 

 

Talking to Your Partner About Sleep Divorce

Before making such a decision, engage in a heartfelt conversation with your partner. If your partner is not into this idea, be patient and explain to them your motivation for such a suggestion. 

Tell them it’s not about emotional separation. Sleep divorce is a practical strategy for personal well-being. If they’re worried about a lack of physical intimacy due to the separation, tell them you can have all of them before going to bed. In fact, many couples have noticed that they share more moments of cuddling, having sex, or spending time together before they go to their beds or rooms. 

Address their worries and give them time to process your suggestion. You can start to sleep separately once a week to see how you both feel about it. There is really no rule on how to implement sleep divorce into your marriage or relationship. Follow the path that seems most natural to both of you. 

Once you’ve reached a mutual understanding, it’s crucial to discuss boundaries and requests. For example, you may want to ask your partner not to come to bed while you’re asleep, as it may frighten you and make it hard to sleep again. Make sure you both communicate before and during your sleep divorce. Ask each other how you feel about this change. Be supportive of each other while getting used to this new arrangement. 

 

Is Sleep Divorce Right for You?

If you’re uncertain whether sleep divorce is the best option for your marriage or relationship, ask yourself the following questions: 

  • Do I consistently wake up feeling tired or unrested after sharing a bed?
  • Do I sleep better when my partner is away or when I nap alone?
  • Am I often disturbed by my partner’s snoring, movement, or sleep habits?
  • Do we have different sleep preferences (e.g., bedtime, temperature, mattress firmness)?
  • Has sharing a bed caused tension, arguments, or resentment in our relationship?
  • Do we communicate openly about our sleep frustrations without blame or shame?
  • Is our intimacy suffering because we associate bedtime with stress instead of connection?
  • Would sleeping separately help us show up more lovingly during the day?
  • Are we open to trying a temporary or partial sleep divorce (e.g., a few nights per week)?
  • Can we create routines that preserve physical closeness (e.g., cuddling before going to separate rooms)?
  • Are we willing to check in regularly and adjust the arrangement if it’s not working?

 

Do What’s Best For Your Marriage

Whatever you decide, make sure it benefits your marriage. Start small if you’re interested in experimenting with sleep divorce. Sleep separately one night per week and increase when you feel comfortable. If there are certain nights when you or your partner needs physical intimacy, make sure you don’t see it as breaking the rules. The only goal is to make you grow personally and together! 

Schedule a session to discuss the subject more! 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Premarital Counseling Questions that Build a Lasting Marriage

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Premarital Counseling Questions that Build a Lasting Marriage

 

Premarital counseling questions can be quite helpful in getting to know your partner better before saying ‘I do.’ There are probably several topics you haven’t covered yet that can significantly impact your marriage, whether negatively or positively.  As life partners, you will work together towards mutual goals, and ensuring these goals are aligned with your personal goals is essential. 

Do you want kids? What do you want to save money for? These and similar questions are a wonderful conversation starter. More than that, discussing these topics can make your lives easier. When you know the person you want to marry well, the marriage will help you avoid negative surprises. Just imagine being married for five years to learn that your partner wants different things from you. 

 

Why Asking the Right Questions Matters 

Asking the right questions is a powerful tool to get to know anyone, especially people you let into your personal space. Marriage is a serious commitment that you want to last. Avoiding talking about certain areas does not guarantee your marriage will last. In most cases, it’s quite the opposite. 

That is why it’s important to ask these premarital counseling questions and share your perspective with your partner as well. Instead of treating it like a questionnaire, use each topic to initiate a conversation. That way, you will both feel more relaxed and share more information with each other. Conversation allows you to go further than just responding with yes or no. 

While talking about these topics, you might also get inspired by each other’s answers. What our partner shares can help us understand how we feel about something and why. Below, find the areas with question examples you can use to start a conversation with your future spouse. 

 

Which Areas to Cover in Premarital Counseling

There are no wrong topics to discuss with your partner. However, exploring key premarital counseling questions can be crucial if you plan to get married. As much as getting married is a romantic decision, it will also impact other areas of your life.

 

Values and Life Goals

Each person has their set of values. Do yours and your partner’s align? Remember, there are no wrong or right values in life. Some might align more with another person’s values, while others will be less aligned. 

Talking about your life goals can also help you determine whether your aspirations align. For instance, knowing that you both aspire to have a big family one day is a positive sign. You wouldn’t even be aware that you and your partner share similar life goals if you didn’t discuss it.

These are the questions you can ask:

  • What does a meaningful life look like to you?
  • What are three major goals you still want to achieve?
  • How do you define success for yourself?

 

Communication Styles and Conflict Resolution

The way we communicate with each other has a greater impact than what we communicate about. Respect, honesty, and curiosity are the three pillars of quality and healthy communication in any type of relationship. 

When conflict arises, how do you approach it? How does your partner approach it? Do you talk about it first, or do you prefer to have some time to think about it? Learning each other’s communication style and the way you approach conflict is essential for the well-being of your relationship.

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • Do you prefer to talk things out immediately or take time to process first?
  • What makes you feel truly heard and understood?
  • What does “emotional safety” in communication look like for you?
  • What’s your go-to reaction when you feel hurt or misunderstood?
  • How were conflicts handled in your family growing up, and how has that shaped you?
  • Do you tend to avoid conflict, confront it directly, or do something else?
  • What helps you calm down when you’re feeling upset?

 

Finances and Money Management

Many arguments in marriages happen due to money. As much as love is what brought you together, money is what helps you get through the day. Having financial struggles will make it more difficult to enjoy your marriage and stay happily in love. 

That is why it is important to learn about your partner’s approach to earning money, financial responsibilities, and managing money. For instance, one person might prefer to earn as much money as possible, while another enjoys spending all they have and living in the moment. These opposite perspectives toward money could result in arguments. 

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • How do you feel about saving vs. spending?
  • What does financial security mean to you?
  • Do you see money as a source of freedom, stress, power, or something else?
  • Are you more of a planner or spontaneous when it comes to finances?
  • How do you feel about debt?

 

Family and Children

Before marriage, it’s vital to talk about your partner’s views on family and kids. Do you want kids? Does your partner want kids? If you don’t share the same views, it might take more work to maintain the marriage. 

Also, learn about how they think of family. Is it a priority for them, or do they want to stay focused on their career? This talk should help you recall your youth and learn about your partner’s side you may not have heard before. 

These are the questions you can ask:

  • Do you want to have children? If so, how many?
  • What are your reasons for wanting (or not wanting) kids?
  • At what point in our marriage would you ideally want to start a family?
  • How do you imagine us dividing parenting roles (day-to-day tasks, emotional labor, decision-making)?
  • How would we handle disagreements about parenting?

 

Intimacy and Affection

A successful marriage is one that satisfies both partners’ needs for intimacy and affection. Intimacy can mean different things to different people. You might prefer physical touch, while your partner prefers long conversations as a form of intimacy. Talking about it helps you understand each other’s needs better and allows you to give your partner what they need.

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • How do you most naturally give and receive love (words, touch, gifts, quality time, acts of service)?
  • What makes you feel most emotionally connected to me?
  • How important is regular affection (hugging, kissing, cuddling) to you?
  • How would you like emotional support when facing a challenging situation?

 

Conclusion

Make sure that these questions lead to relevant conversations. You don’t have to cover all areas in one conversation. Instead, find a moment when you both feel relaxed and willing to talk and bring up one of the topics mentioned above. You can even share your answers first to motivate your partner to open up if they have a hard time communicating about similar topics. If you disagree, do your best to find a way to give you both what you need. 

If you lack ideas on how to overcome an obstacle, visiting a marital therapist is always a good idea. They could also help you prepare for marriage. 

If you need premarital counseling, schedule a session now.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Manipulation in Relationships Signs

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7 Sneaky Manipulation in Relationships Signs You NEED to Spot!

 

Manipulation in relationships signs aren’t always flashing neon red flags. Sometimes they’re soft, subtle, and wrapped in a hug that feels just off. 😳 Ever gotten a hug that felt more like control than comfort? Yep. That’s what we’re talking about.

In this video, I’m breaking down 7 low-key ways manipulation hides in physical touch—and why your gut reaction is always worth listening to.

When someone uses physical affection to control, distract, or guilt-trip you, it can leave you questioning your own instincts. A hand on your back that subtly steers you at a party. A kiss that interrupts rather than connects. A “comforting” cuddle that only shows up when you agree with them. All of these are ways manipulation disguises itself as intimacy.

We’re diving into how touch can be used like a reward system—offered when you comply, withdrawn when you push back. And how physical closeness can blur emotional boundaries, keeping you stuck in cycles of guilt and confusion.

Another manipulation tactic? Acting hurt or rejected when you ask for space. That “But I just want to be close to you” line can sound sweet but feel suffocating when it ignores your needs.

By the end of this, you’ll know how to spot when affection is being used to connect—and when it’s being used to control. Because real love doesn’t pressure. It honors your yes and your no.

So get cozy, open your heart, and let’s shine a light on these subtle signs—because your peace is worth protecting. 💛

Let’s dive in. 👀✨

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Importance of Listening Skills: The Key to Effective Communication

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Importance of Listening Skills: The Key to Effective Communication

 

You’ll hear everyone talking about how to speak properly and keep others engaged, yet we rarely talk about the importance of listening skills. Talking and listening are integral aspects of effective communication. You can’t be a successful and efficient communicator if you don’t know how to listen properly when someone else is talking. 

Listening can help you understand the other person better and connect with others on a more meaningful level. Learn how to develop these skills and improve relationships in your private and professional life. 

 

What Are Listening Skills?

When people talk about listening, they often confuse it with hearing, yet hearing someone speak doesn’t imply you’re listening to them. Active listening consists of four components:

  • Attention: Are you paying attention to what is being said?
  • Understanding: Are you able to mentally process what is being said?
  • Response: Are you able to respond in a way that shows your engagement?
  • Retention: Are you able to remember key points from the conversation? 

A great example of passive listening is when students listen to their professors. Your professor could talk for an hour, yet you are not paying attention to everything they are saying. Listening requires paying attention and understanding what is being said, while hearing requires only allowing the speaker to say something and you to hear it. 

 

Why Listening Skills Matter in Communication

Listening skills are essential for connecting with everyone in your life. Even a random person on the street asking you a question can benefit from your listening skills. Not paying attention to their question can lead to incorrect answers, misunderstandings, and conflicts. 

You’ve probably heard that communication is key for every relationship. That means that strengthening your listening skills will help you with your coworkers and romantic partner. 

 

Builds Trust and Empathy

Do you remember the last time you shared something personal with your best friend, and you felt such relief when you realized how much they understood you? Such an experience is a sign that your friend has excellent listening skills. Listening to someone makes them feel seen and heard by you.

It fosters trust and empathy. Instead of only focusing on what you want to say, pay attention to what others are telling you. Show interest. Ask them questions. Most relationships suffer because partners are unable to communicate well with each other. In most cases, they both know how to talk; yet the listening part is what makes the relationship truly successful. 

 

Reduces Misunderstandings

When we pay attention to what the other person is telling us, we minimize the possibility of misunderstandings. When you don’t listen, assumptions start to arise. You start thinking that your partner is avoiding spending time with you when, in reality, they are working long hours. 

Misunderstandings can also happen at work. If you don’t actively listen to your colleagues and superiors, your performance may suffer, and you may not be able to advance in your career. That is why it’s essential to make an effort to actively listen and engage. Start by ensuring you can easily focus on the other person and eliminate potential distractions. 

 

Enhances Problem Solving and Collaboration

Listening is a foundation for teamwork. Whether you’re born in a big family or work in a team, listening to others is essential. It can help you get to know people better and also boost your problem-solving skills. By understanding someone else’s perspective, it becomes easier to suggest effective solutions.

Also, listening is a key element in collaboration. You might work on a large project and need to coordinate activities with your teammates. The situation can become an issue if you struggle to listen to what they are sharing about the project. 

 

Improves Leadership and Influence

All great leaders are great listeners as well. They will be more respected by their employees because they will understand them better. A leader who doesn’t listen to their employees cannot be an efficient boss. They will overlook challenges and issues their employees are facing because they don’t pay attention. 

On the other hand, leaders who listen will have more successful teams. They will know what their team needs and provide them with whatever it takes to be more efficient. A successful leader knows that listening is a form of emotional intelligence, and they use their time to listen to others, not just to talk. 

 

How to Improve Your Listening Skills

If you’re not skilled in listening, don’t worry. As with any skill, you can learn it over time. First, it’s important to understand which factors are impacting your inability to listen. You might get distracted easily or not have enough patience to listen to someone else talking. Whatever it is, be honest with yourself, as knowing the reasons could help you become a better listener. Recognizing the importance of listening skills is the first step toward improving them and becoming more present in your conversations.

 

Being Present

When someone starts talking, decide to listen to them. Set aside everything you’re doing or thinking about and give them your undivided attention. If something is distracting you, suggest moving to another location or postponing the conversation for the moment so that you’ll both be able to communicate.

 

Asking Questions and Paraphrasing

If you’re not sure if you understood correctly, ask them to clarify. You can paraphrase what they said to see if you agree. Try saying, “What you’re saying is …” or ask, “What did you mean when you said _____?”

 

Reflecting

We all talk to each other because of our need for connection, regardless of the environment. That is why reflection is such a key factor in active listening and highlights the importance of listening skills in building meaningful conversations. Once the person has stopped talking, reflect on what has been said. Show support or comprehension by reflecting on their words before speaking on what you want to share. Even though you might continue talking about the same topic, ignoring what was said can make the other person feel unheard.

 

Don’t Interrupt

Interrupting is something you should avoid unless it’s necessary. Instead, wait until the speaker has finished their thought. In almost all scenarios, interruption is considered a rude act, and it can even harm the communication flow. When you feel the urge to interrupt, remind yourself to wait. After all, patience and respect are key characteristics of outstanding communicators. 

If you start working on your listening skills, you will notice improvements instantly. You can improve your relationships by using every conversation to become a better listener. 

Start your journey here.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Empathy Statements: How to Verbally Show Your Support

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Empathy Statements: How to Verbally Show Your Support

 

Empathy statements can be valuable tokens of appreciation for everyone in your life, from your siblings to your coworkers. Understanding what others are feeling can strengthen your bond with them. 

Empathy is crucial for success across all areas of life. The more we understand ourselves, the easier it is to connect with it and respond to loved ones. A lack of empathy leads to disconnection and loneliness. If you want to become more empathetic, this article is a must-read. We’ll talk about why empathy matters and how to support people who verbally matter to you. 

 

What Is Empathy? 

Empathy can best be explained as an ability to comprehend and share another person’s feelings. Empathy requires more than just knowing what someone is going through or how they feel about it. It requires a real emotional connection to the person who is sharing their experience.

Those who are empathetic are able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, regardless of that experience being pleasant or unpleasant. For instance, they can share your joy at buying your first home while also supporting you during a breakup, illness, job loss, or anything else. 

 

Types of Empathy

Although we typically just talk about empathy in general, three types of empathy exist: emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. Emotional empathy is feeling what someone else feels, even if they can’t express it. If you are emotionally empathetic, you can sense the feelings other people are experiencing and show support on an emotional level. 

Cognitive empathy refers to understanding the other person’s thoughts or feelings. Instead of feeling the pain or joy of the other person, you are comprehending their experience on a cognitive level. 

Lastly, compassionate empathy combines both cognitive and emotional empathy. Empaths can feel and share others’ emotions and are driven to help. If a person feels sad because they lost their job, a compassionate empath can talk to them, feel their sadness and fear, and then suggest helping by updating their resume or sending a list of job search sites. 

 

How to Show Support Verbally

Before we share some of the empathy statements you can use to support people in your life, let’s look into the things you should remember when being empathetic. From listening carefully to acknowledging their feelings, other actions can be equally important as your supportive words. 

 

Listen Carefully 

When somebody is sharing something important with you, listen carefully. Put down your phone and focus your attention on what they are saying. If you can’t concentrate because you’re in a crowded place, offer to go somewhere more private. While the person is talking, pay attention to what and how they are saying. You can learn a lot about how they experienced something by talking about it. 

 

Validate Their Experience

When we share something important with another person, we often want feedback. This feedback doesn’t necessarily have to be a solution. Instead, we seek validation from people we care about. Validation helps us heal, and it relieves us knowing that others also understand what we are experiencing. 

 

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Once the person is done sharing their story, be sure to ask questions. Remaining silent might lead them to think you weren’t interested in their story. Instead, ask questions to show you care and understand them. Don’t be judgmental or try to force them to behave as you’d behave if you were in their situation. If you don’t know which questions to ask, try these:

  • What was the hardest thing for you in that experience?
  • Do you want to talk more about it?
  • What do you need from me? I want you to feel supported in this moment.
  • What would you like to do now with all of these feelings? 
  • Do you want us to plan something in the near future to address these issues again?

 

Empathy Statements to Show Understanding

The questions mentioned above are a wonderful example of ways to show empathy to a person who needs it. 

However, there are numerous other empathy statements you can choose from, depending on the situation. Here are some examples:

  • “That sounds really hard. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
  • “I cannot even imagine how that must feel.”
  • “You’re not alone—I’m here for you.”
  • “Thank you for trusting me with this.”
  • “It makes sense that you’d feel this way.”
  • “That sounds overwhelming. Are you okay?”
  • “I hear you.”
  • “What you’re feeling is totally valid.”
  • “I’m with you. You don’t have to go through this experience alone.”
  • “It’s okay to feel this way! There’s no right or wrong way to deal with such a situation.”
  • “I see how much this means to you.”
  • “This must be so upsetting. I’m here if you need to talk.”
  • “I care about you and want to support you however I am able.”
  • “You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to ask for support.”

Some other examples of empathy statements include, but aren’t limited to, the following:

  • “I may not fully understand, but I’m listening.”
  • “You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.”
  • “Your feelings are completely understandable.”
  • “Take your time. There’s no pressure to rush through this.”
  • “Would you like to talk more about it?”
  • “Is there anything you need right now?”
  • “I’m here to listen without any judgment.”
  • “That must have been painful.”
  • “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Let’s figure it out together.”
  • “I can see how much strength it took to share that.”
  • “You don’t need to have it all figured out. One step at a time.”
  • “That’s a valid concern. Let’s talk it through.”
  • “You’re not being dramatic. The situation is real, and it matters.”
  • “It’s completely natural to feel that way.”
  • “Thank you for being honest with me. That takes courage.”
  • “I’ve got your back. I’m here.”

 

Make sure that the empathy statement you decide to use resonates with you. Saying something without resonance could make the other person feel like they shouldn’t have shared their experience with you. Use your own words to show support, and be kind while talking to them afterward. Supporting each other is an essential component of any relationship.

If you need to learn how to use empathy, book a session with one of our team members today. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Situationship Definition: How to Know If You’re In One? 

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Situationship Definition: How to Know If You’re In One? 

 

It’s certainly a word you’ve heard so many times already, yet the situationship definition is unclear to most of us. We can say that a situationship is a stage between dating and entering a relationship. However, it’s important to note that for most of us, situationship has a somewhat negative connotation. Why does it have a negative connotation?

Finding yourself in a situationship means that it has unique conditions and can’t be called a relationship because of these conditions. These conditions can differ from one example to another. Recognizing that you’re in a situationship is the first step to understanding your options. Let’s look at common signs of situationships and what to do if you’re not happy to be in one.

Situationship Signs

It’s not uncommon to find yourself wondering if you’re still just dating someone, in a situation, or in a relationship. You might think that these three are actually different stages couples go through, but the boundaries between them can be unclear.

If you’re searching for the situationship definition to make sense of where you stand, know that it often includes a lack of commitment and clear labels. As the name implies, there are reasons you and the other person aren’t as committed as you would be in a relationship. If you’re both fine with seeing each other, that’s completely okay. However, if your or your partner’s needs or desires aren’t met, you might want to change your current situation.

When it comes to common situationship signs, these are the ones to look for:

  • Lack of labels (e.g., exclusive relationship, open relationship)

  • Inconsistent communication

  • No discussions about the future

  • Making last-minute plans

  • Lack of integration in each other’s life

  • The main connection between you two is physical

  • You feel confused and anxious about meeting them or asking them about your status

  • You avoid serious conversations

  • You worry about them dating other people

 

The Emotional Impact of Situationships

As we’ve said, if you prefer seeing someone without the commitment of being a couple, situationships might be good for you. You could call it a situationship or casual dating—whatever makes you feel better.

But understanding the situationship definition can also highlight why some people feel emotionally drained in these arrangements. There are different emotions you could experience from being in a situationship. If you’re pleased to be in one, you could feel excitement, fun, and freedom. Being able to have fun with a person you like without serious conversations or labels might be just what you need right now.

On the other hand, if you feel stuck in a situationship, you might feel uncertain about your self-esteem. Your self-esteem may also suffer as a result. Being unable to talk about how you feel about the situation you’re in could lead to anxiety. You might fear that expressing your needs could result in them leaving you. Instead, even though this arrangement does not feel right or healthy for you, you choose to keep it up without saying a word.

 

Deciding What You Want

Before you initiate a conversation with the other person, you have to be clear about what you want. Take a moment to really understand your current needs. A few weeks ago, you were maybe interested in something with no strings attached. Now, you might feel that you want to either stop seeing this person or move to the next step in your relationship. Whatever it is, ensure you’re clear about your intentions to make the conversation as efficient as possible.

If you’re not that clear on what you want, ask yourself a few questions that could help you clarify it, such as:

  • Am I satisfied with the current situation?

  • Do I want or need more to be fulfilled in this area of my life?

  • Is the situation negatively affecting my well-being in any way?

  • Do I enjoy spending time with this person, and is the time we spend together enough for me?

Responding to these questions can help you understand better what you need and what you want from the other person. Then, bring up the topic when it seems most convenient for both of you. Ask them if they’re okay with talking now or if they’d like to schedule a time for that conversation in the following days.

 

Making the Most of Your Situationship

If you’ve decided you’re more than okay with your current status, there is no reason to change a thing. If you’re both happy and okay with the no-strings dynamic, just enjoy it.

However, make sure you’re both respecting each other and being honest about things that matter. As long as your situation is enjoyable, it needs to feel like a safe space to address any changes or doubts you might have.

Communication is also key, even in situationships that are mostly fulfilling their need for physical connection. Consentual and emotionally healthy communication will help you make your relationship as sustainable as you want it to be. If you notice over time that your perspective on it has changed, knowing it’s okay to bring it up with that person will make things a lot easier.

 

Not Every Situationship Is the Same

Sometimes, situationships happen because both sides are not communicating clearly, yet they both want to be in a relationship with each other. Some people might also prefer something casual over entering a relationship they are not ready for.

That’s why knowing the situationship definition is only part of the journey—what really matters is how you feel about your unique connection. Assess your situation well, and don’t compare it to anyone else’s.

How you feel and what you think about it should be enough to understand if this is the right choice for you at the moment. If you want clarity, connection, and commitment, you have every right to ask for it. Even if you’re deeply enjoying the dynamic you’ve created, it’s beneficial to express your feelings and listen to the other person’s perspective.

If you want more, don’t settle for less than what feels emotionally safe and fulfilling. Every person has the right to be happy, and the path to that is understanding what makes you happy!

If you want to start your journey, make an appointment today!

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Compliments for Women to Make Them Feel Unique

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Compliments for Women to Make Them Feel Unique

 

Being kind to one another through words makes this world a nicer place, yet compliments for women often differ a lot from the ones for men. Saying something thoughtful to a woman can brighten her day, boost her self-esteem, and motivate her to do the same for someone else. 

If you struggle with words, you may find it challenging to say something that works. You would rather not seem rude or pushy, nor do you want to confuse them with your compliment. That is why we’ve decided to gather useful tips about giving compliments, such as appropriate moments and follow-up steps. At the end of the article, we’re sharing a list of compliments that will make every woman feel special.

 

When and Where to Give Compliments to Women 

Compliments are often more than welcome. However, not every compliment will be appropriate in every situation. For instance, it’s not appropriate for a boss to compliment their employee’s physique. Even if it’s said with the best intentions, some compliments could be counterproductive, depending on the place and time. 

If you want your compliment to be received as intended, you will need to pay attention to the circumstances. If the woman you want to compliment is busy, stressed, worried, or facing a challenge, it might not be the best time to compliment her. Better wait for a more adequate moment. You can even express your admiration of how she handled that particular situation. 

When it comes to the right place to give a compliment, make sure it’s an environment where she feels safe and relaxed. Avoid places like offices, institutions, public transport, or any other location where she might feel uncomfortable with other people. 

 

Before and After the Compliment 

There will be some interaction before and after the compliment, which can either benefit or harm the compliment itself. Just imagine saying something kind to someone and then not knowing how to continue the conversation. It will surely have a negative impact on the conversation. 

To become an expert in giving women compliments, you will need to know how to guide the conversation toward the compliment. You will also need to continue talking to the woman of your interest after you give the compliment. That is why it’s important to say something that suits your style of communication and doesn’t make you feel awkward while saying it. 

So, before you decide to give a compliment to someone, assess the situation. Is it the right time to say something? Will the compliment be received as intended? If the answer is negative, it’s better to postpone the compliment. 

There are many ways to express a compliment. You can try one of the following ways:

  • Tell it face-to-face.
  • Write it on a card and attach it to a box of chocolates or a similar tiny gift.
  • Add it to your email message. 
  • Write a long letter expressing your feelings of gratitude or admiration. 

 

Compliments for Women

Now that we’ve covered the technical details of giving compliments to women, let’s take a look at some of the compliments you should consider. They are organized by the occasion, so make sure you choose the appropriate ones.

 

Appreciation for Their Work and Dedication

If you want to give a compliment that conveys your appreciation for someone’s work and dedication, it should be as specific as possible. Avoid generic phrases and specify what you noticed and admired about them.

 

Instead of saying, You did great work on your last project. 

Consider saying, I loved how you were organized these last months. You were the reason why the project was successful; you kept track of every tiny detail. 

 

Other compliments for this situation might be:

  • Your presentation was incredibly insightful. The research you did was helpful in understanding the matter better.
  • Your problem-solving skills are what make our team grow each day. Do you remember how you handled that situation a while ago?
  • You’ve come a long way since you joined the company. Watching you grow and manage projects, such as *mention several projects*, is remarkable and inspiring!

 

Friendly Compliments 

If your goal is to show someone how much you appreciate them as a person or respect your friendship, your compliments should be more personal. After all, just think of the reasons why someone is your best friend. These reasons are probably not generic at all. 

 

Instead of saying, You’re a really great friend. 

 

Consider saying, Your friendship helped me through difficult times. Do you remember that piece of advice you gave me when we talked about *mention a topic*? It really stuck with me and motivated me to go forward. 

 

Other compliments you can give to women to show appreciation for their friendship could be:

  • Although we’re different, I learn every day from you. You inspire me to consider different perspectives and implement ideas that I would never think of on my own.
  • I think it’s really admirable how you have time to listen to me, even when you’re busy. It shows me that friendships like ours are valuable to both of us, and we’ll never take them for granted. 

 

Romantic Compliments

Usually, we think about complimenting people we like or love. Whether this person knows how we feel or not, compliments help us express our admiration. Compliments can make your partner’s day, even in long-term partnerships or marriages. Just like we’ve explained with previous compliment types, make sure your compliments are unique. 

 

Instead of saying, I like you a lot.

Consider saying, I’ve been thinking about you ever since *mention the first moment you developed feelings for them*. The way you talk about the things you’re passionate about, such as *mention an example*, is really contagious. I guess that passion is the reason why I can’t stop thinking about you. 

 

Other romantic compliments to say to someone you like:

  • I love the dress you’re wearing. It really goes so nicely with the color of your eyes.
  • Is there something different about you today? You look incredible. 
  • You know how to make me laugh! I have often said that a good sense of humor is the most attractive trait in a woman. 

 

If you want to give compliments to your wife, consider the following examples: 

  • I love waking up next to your beautiful face. 
  • My favorite sound is your voice. 
  • I’m lucky to grow old with you.
  • You are my favorite person in the world.

 

Make sure your compliments are appropriate and respectful. Even words with the best intentions can be counterproductive if you’re not saying them at the right time or in the right way. Lastly, make sure that these compliments feel natural to you when you say them. Speaking from your heart, with consent from the other, is the best policy! 

Do you want to start your communication journey? Get your guide here.  

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Repair a Relationship: Steps That Actually Work

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How to Repair a Relationship: Steps That Actually Work

 

You’re here because something feels off. Maybe she’s pulling away. Maybe he’s been quiet. Maybe the vibe just isn’t vibing anymore, and your gut is telling you it’s time to do something before this thing slips through your fingers.

But don’t worry—you don’t need a stack of self-help books or a degree in emotional decoding. You just need a few minutes and the video below.

Seriously. This isn’t just another relationship article with vague advice like “communicate more” and “go on a date night.” This video breaks down real steps that actually work when things get messy—when you feel disconnected, misunderstood, or like you’re stuck in the same argument on loop. It’s clear, honest, and full of lightbulb moments. You’ll walk away thinking, “Ohhhh… that’s what’s been happening.”

If you’re wondering how to repair a relationship that’s drifting or tense, this is the place to begin. It’s not about grand gestures or overhauls—it’s about subtle shifts and honest moments that build back trust, bit by bit.

So before you dive into the written tips (they’re coming, promise!), hit play. Let the video lead the way. Let it be your guide, your reality check, and maybe even your relationship’s turning point.

Knowing how to repair a relationship isn’t just about fixing—it’s about understanding. Understanding where things went sideways, how to show up differently, and how to reconnect with intention.

Grab a cup of something warm, take a deep breath, and let’s start there.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Communication and Relationships

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Communication and Relationships: Differences & Ways to Build Meaningful Connections

 

Communication and relationships are two of the most important aspects of our lives. We communicate with our family, close friends, classmates, coworkers, managers, and people we see in shops, public traffic, and on the street all the time. Without a doubt, humans are inherently social. Just think about the number of people you’ve already talked to today! Maybe you’ve sent a text to your friend, said hello to your neighbor on your way to work, and chatted with your colleagues before you started working. 

However, you don’t talk the same way to every person in your life. You probably don’t even have the same type of relationship with them. You may be more formal with your boss and more casual with your childhood best friend. If you want to improve your communication style, you will need to keep in mind the person or group of people you will communicate with. 

Below, you can find suggestions on how to improve communication with a romantic partner, family, coworkers, friends, and boss. 

 

Improve Communication with Your Partner

There are many ways you can work on communication in your relationship. If the subject is something you both feel passionate about, there are many ways to strengthen your bond. Remind yourself that communication is not just about talking. You will both have to learn to listen to each other. Listening is as important as talking to understand each other better. 

Try these tips to improve communication with your romantic partner: 

  • Express yourself clearly and honestly.
  • Don’t interrupt each other while talking.
  • Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don’t fully agree.
  • Avoid discussing sensitive topics when you’re tired, stressed, or distracted.
  • Pick a calm environment where you can focus on the conversation.
  • Focus on solving the issue instead of proving who’s right.
  • Take breaks if emotions get too heated, and then revisit the discussion.
  • Accept constructive criticism without getting defensive.
  • Ask clarifying questions to understand their perspective.
  • Have regular check-ins about feelings, needs, and relationship goals.
  • Set aside time for meaningful conversations, not just daily logistics.
  • Express appreciation and say “thank you” for the little things.

 

Improve Communication with Your Family

Improving communication with your family might require more effort because of generational differences and the number of members of your family. You could have a better relationship with your younger sister than your older brother or vice versa. The same goes for your parents or caregivers. But if you want to improve your family relationships, there are ways to do so. 

Try these tips to improve communication with your family: 

  • Have regular family check-ins or dinners where everyone can talk openly.
  • Create space for more profound discussions, not just logistics and daily tasks.
  • Plan family gatherings and spend one-on-one time with each member. 
  • Don’t expect everyone to have the same opinions, values, or ways of expressing themselves as you do. 
  • Respect each other’s personal space and privacy.
  •  Be clear about expectations and limits, especially regarding sensitive topics.
  • Pay attention to your tone and body language to ensure they align with your words.
  • Regularly acknowledge and thank family members for their efforts and kindness.
  • If communication breakdowns persist, consider seeking guidance from a family counselor or mediator.

 

Improve Communication with Your Classmates or Coworkers

In school or at work, you will see different people every day. You may like some of them and not others as much. In school or at work, it’s essential to get along with people in your immediate environment. All your relationships should be based on respect if you expect others to respect you as well. 

Try these tips to improve communication with your classmates or coworkers:

  • Show engagement through nodding, eye contact, and asking clarifying questions.
  • Show interest in their opinions, ideas, and experiences. 
  • Use simple and direct language to prevent misunderstandings.
  • Choose emails for detailed information and documentation.
  • Offer feedback in a supportive, non-confrontational way.
  • Be open to receiving feedback without getting defensive.
  • Avoid gossip, sarcasm, or a negative tone when talking to your classmates or coworkers.
  • Adjust your approach based on personality and context.
  • Don’t assume—ask for clarification if something is unclear.
  • Tackle issues early before they escalate.

 

Improve Communication with Your Friends

The way you communicate with your friends will differ quite a lot from how you communicate with your coworkers. Even if some of your coworkers become your friends, the workplace typically requires communication that meets more professional standards. Luckily, with your friends, you can show your most authentic self. 

When faced with any issues or if you simply want to strengthen your friendships, apply the following: 

  • Show genuine interest in things and people they care about.
  • Follow up with them after a heart-to-heart conversation to show you care. 
  • Surprise them with a thoughtful detail if they are feeling down or to celebrate a small win. 
  • Stay in touch, even if it’s just a quick check-in or a funny meme.
  • Make time for meaningful conversations, not just surface-level chats.
  • If something is bothering you, talk about it instead of holding onto resentment.
  • Validate their emotions, even if you don’t fully understand their experience.
  • Understand that everyone has different comfort levels with communication.
  • Show excitement and encouragement when they share good news.
  • Keep the energy balanced; don’t let every conversation be about problems.
  • Understand that friendships evolve with time—support each other through different phases.

 

Improve Communication with Your Managers

Although you probably prefer to talk to your friends over your managers, this is something that’s inevitable once you start working. Therefore, it’s critical to become skilled in communicating with your managers. These skills will help you become better at your job and share your achievements with your boss in a more efficient way. 

This is how you can improve communication with your boss:

  • Get to the point quickly—avoid unnecessary details.
  • Use bullet points or summaries for emails and reports.
  • If you are asking for something, be direct about your needs and expectations.
  • Provide regular progress reports on tasks and projects.
  • Share any challenges early, along with possible solutions.
  • Match their tone—formal or casual—while staying professional.
  • Show that you value their feedback by applying it.
  • Be prepared with an agenda or key discussion points.

The most successful communicators know how to adapt their communication style to the person they are talking to. Follow these tips to strengthen your personal and professional relationships.

If you need help, make an appointment with us. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Talk to Ladies Without Fear

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How to Talk to Ladies Without Fear: A Confidence Guide for Men

 

If you’re not certain about how to talk to ladies without fear, you will want to read this article. After all, you’re not the first guy who struggles to find the best approach to new women you meet in your life. Communication with the opposite sex is difficult, but knowing how to handle the challenges will make you successful. 

The good thing about confidence is that if you don’t have it, you can build it. There are certain techniques that can help you improve your communication with women without it sounding weird or forced. In this article, we’ve decided to share the best tips for single guys looking to make new connections with women they find attractive. Before we delve into the topic, we’ve compiled a list of warning signs that most women will quickly identify.

 

Red Flags When Talking to Ladies

Approaching someone you don’t know and hoping they are interested requires courage. However, some guys might try too hard to impress or act too cool, and both of these decisions will most likely result in a lack of success. 

One of the most significant warning signs that women identify when encountering new men is their tendency to approach multiple girls until one eventually agrees to converse, dance, go home, or engage in similar activities. Trying to have more options when dating could lead to a negative outcome, especially if other women are aware of it. Instead, look for one person who seems attractive or intriguing to you.

When you finally approach her, avoid using phrases other men, including you, typically use. Don’t be cheesy or rude. Notice something that makes her different from all the other women in that place and let her know you’ve noticed it. A comment like ‘I’ve noticed you’re the only person in this bar drinking water’ will probably be better accepted than ‘You look so hot in that dress.’

As much as we all want to make a fantastic first impression, your focus should be on her and not on you. All you have to be is yourself. While you’re talking, ask her about the things you are genuinely interested in. Answer her questions the same way you would if your friend were asking them. Being natural in a situation like this can go a long way. 

Useful Tips 

Now that we’ve covered what most women don’t like, it’s important to talk about how to actually improve the way you approach and talk to ladies. Knowing what to avoid doing or saying is only the first step. See a professional like Dr. Amanda if you are looking for dating results.

 

What’s Appropriate?

Approaching someone in a supermarket is very different from approaching someone in a club. Let’s say you’ve seen a woman you like in a supermarket while buying groceries. You will probably not go to her shopping cart and start talking to her about her interests. 

This type of environment requires a more laid-back comment, which hopefully could lead to a conversation. There, it would make more sense to ask for a product recommendation or to give one. Always think about what is appropriate in a situation where you see a woman you like. Not doing that could make her feel uncomfortable even if she liked you.

 

Talk to Your Female Friends or Family Members

If you think that you need help understanding women, that’s completely okay. Consider talking to your female friends, sister, cousin, or whoever you could trust. Ask them what they like about the men they’ve dated and what they want in a partner. 

This information can help you understand what other ladies find relevant when they approach you. You could learn which compliments make sense and which to avoid. You could also learn what nonverbal gestures women prefer. For instance, you could open the door for her if you’re leaving the place together, offer her your jacket if she’s cold, respect her space, and so on. These small gestures have a significant impact when interacting with a new individual. While some women may view these gestures as outdated, others may perceive them as a sign that you value her or find her significant. 

 

Don’t Set Expectations

The men who are most successful in dating are the ones who don’t get discouraged. It’s completely normal to get rejected. The funny thing about it is that it’s really not that personal. It’s possible that the woman you’ve approached is rushing or transitioning out of an emotionally taxing relationship. There are so many reasons why a person could not be interested in talking to someone they don’t know. 

When you decide to approach someone, don’t set expectations. Celebrate yourself for being brave enough to approach someone and start a conversation with them. All of these experiences will be helpful when the right woman comes along.

 

Build Your Self-Esteem

The way we feel about ourselves affects how we introduce ourselves to the world. Are you taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally? The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to make a connection with someone else. Just think about it! How many times did you feel excellent about yourself and then a random stranger treated you nicely, or maybe you’ve experienced something that made your day even better? 

When it comes to building your self-esteem, look at the things you can improve. Maybe you can enter a room with your head high instead of looking at the floor. You can also start exercising more regularly to feel positive about your body. Improve your eating and sleeping habits as well. Watch this if your body image won’t budge.

Think about getting a haircut before going out with friends if you want to feel more confident. Wear that shirt for which you receive compliments every time you put it on. Wear new black boots. You don’t have to try hard. Do only things that will make you feel good. What works for your single friends might not work for you. 

That is why it’s important to act as naturally as possible when interacting with a woman you’ve never met before. Being yourself can help you find the love of your life. 

If you are ready to start now, schedule an appointment with Dr. Amanda.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Deal with + Heal From a Toxic Mother

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How to Deal with + Heal From a Toxic Mother

 

A Toxic Mother or father can add significant challenges and difficulties to our lives, as parents or caregivers have a tremendous impact on the development of our identity and how we experience the world around us.

Because of our loyalty to our family and the values we share with them, we often are not aware of their harmful ways. Of course, a lot of hurt that comes from family members is unintentional, yet that doesn’t make it less painful.

That is why, in this article, we’ve decided to look closer at examples of a toxic mother, how to deal with her, and ways to heal from mother wounds. During the process of discovery and learning, make sure you are kind to yourself. Your only end goal is to provide yourself with everything she couldn’t. 

 

Characteristics of a Toxic Mother

Nobody is perfect. While we live, we will bring joy to others, yet we will also hurt someone we love. It’s impossible to avoid getting hurt or hurting someone. That said, mothers are responsible for their children until a certain age. Many will realize that they’ve had a toxic mother long after they have moved out of their family home. 

Although hundreds of books have been written about this topic, there is still a lot of confusion about what can be characterized as a toxic mother. To offer a framework of behaviors that are common in toxic mothers, we’ve compiled this list:

  • She fails to respect your boundaries by simply ignoring them, questioning them, or making fun of them.
  • She refuses to take accountability when she makes a mistake.
  • She never apologizes for her words or actions and instead blames you.
  • She shows a lack of empathy for your problems, needs, or feelings.
  • She has high expectations and makes sure you’re aware you’re not meeting them.
  • She either avoids conflicts or turns them into counterproductive arguments.
  • She uses manipulation to make you do or say whatever she thinks is best.
  • She doesn’t like your friends and always finds a flaw in each of them.
  • She loves to be the center of attention and hates it when you or someone else takes that away from her. 
  • She controls your decisions and doesn’t allow you to live your life how you want to. 
  • She doesn’t take care of her health and expects you to care for her. 

 

There are many other examples of toxic mothers. Unfortunately, their actions can create serious consequences for their children. As much as a child loves their mother and wants to find a reason for such behavior, it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurts. The way a person deals with such hurt can differ depending on their personality, upbringing, social circle, and other factors. 

 

How to Heal from a Toxic Mother

A bigger question than how to identify a toxic mother is how to deal with her. What do you do when she undermines everything you do and are? How do you handle the expectation that you should prioritize her needs over your own life?

Whatever the situation with your mother might be, there are a few steps you can take to protect yourself. The best way to handle her depends on your situation and natural style. 

 

  1. Recognize Toxic Behaviors

Once you know which of your mother’s behaviors are harming you, it will become easier to prepare a strategy and take care of yourself. Go back to our list above and select which characteristics apply to your mother.

Then, think of the situations in which this behavior is activated. What does she say in these situations? The idea is that you familiarize yourself with the way her toxicity functions. As it could be challenging to have a conversation with her that would change her behavior, your best strategy is to prepare. 

That way, hearing her repeat the exact same phrases you wrote down won’t surprise you next time. It might still hurt, yet it will not be a scenario in which you lose control and allow her to treat you how she wants.

 

  1. Set Boundaries

There are two types of boundaries we have to explain when dealing with toxic mothers. One type of boundary is toward her, and the other is for you. Oftentimes, we’re focused more on setting the boundaries for others and not for ourselves.For instance, you might say to her to stop raising her voice at you. That is a boundary that she might or might not respect. However, setting a boundary for yourself here is what matters the most. If you decide to leave her house anytime, she lacks respect. That is a healthy boundary you’ve set to protect yourself from her. 

In a way, you are just as responsible for doing anything you can to feel safe as she is for respecting your boundaries. 

 

  1. Practice Emotional Detachment 

Emotional attachment is the most natural way to feel about your parents. If you have a toxic parent, on the other side, you’ll need to start practicing emotional detachment. There are many techniques available for this.

You might want to write down everything you want from her and know she’ll never give you. Or, you might want to go through one of your fantasies with your therapist to understand better why you seek her validation. 

Essentially, you want to understand the expectations you have from your relationship with your mother. As painful as it may be to admit that these expectations will never be met, doing so allows you to make room for others who may be able to meet them. 

Maybe you’ve always wanted your mother to congratulate you on your successful career, yet she’s only been diminishing all your achievements. Realizing the truth could free you from such expectations in the future and help you find a better place to meet that need.

 

  1. Work with a Therapist

The relationship between a mother and her child is a complicated one. Because we weren’t able to stand up for ourselves during childhood, it becomes quite challenging to work on these wounds alone. Therapists understand this relationship and can provide a more objective perspective.

With time, they can provide you with the knowledge and skills you need to break free from this toxic relationship. They can also help you set clear boundaries and see that relationship for what it is.

After all, this person is your mother, and nothing can change it. Each person can manage this relationship differently, yet what matters the most is that you heal from it and not carry that pain inside yourself. When you see your mother clearly, you can see yourself without her lenses. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Do You Ask for Help as a Man?

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How Do You Ask for Help as a Man? Steps to Improve Your Life!

 

If you’ve ever wondered, “how do you ask for help,” you’re not alone. In this video, I’ll teach you how to ask for help without fear or hesitation.

Many men struggle with this because of societal expectations that pressure them to always be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. However, learning how to ask for help is a vital step toward personal growth.

Whether it’s for your career, relationships, or emotional well-being, knowing how to ask for help can transform your life in ways you might not expect. The truth is, asking for help can be empowering and is a key part of self-care and achieving success.

In this video, I’ll guide you through the steps to ask for help with confidence, clarity, and purpose.

We’ll explore different ways to reach out to others, whether it’s to your friends, family, or colleagues, and how to approach them with the vulnerability necessary to make a meaningful connection. It’s about being open, honest, and understanding that you don’t need to do it all alone.

Asking for help isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about recognizing your limits and building stronger, more supportive relationships. It’s also a sign of strength, not weakness, because it shows that you value your well-being and the people around you.

Plus, we’ll discuss how asking for help doesn’t just ease your burdens—it strengthens connections and leads to real progress.

When you ask for help, you open doors to new opportunities, solutions, and shared experiences. Don’t miss out on the power of support—watch now and take the first step toward becoming the best version of yourself!

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Are Words of Affirmation

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What Are Words of Affirmation & How to Use Them

 

Words of affirmation are one of the five main love languages. Besides words of affirmation, there is also physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts. One person can prefer one way over another to express and receive love and appreciation, while another might prefer another love language. Love languages help us understand and support our loved ones in a more efficient way.

If you’re interested in learning words of affirmation as a love language, continue reading. We’ll explain this in detail and provide examples to help you give your loved ones inspiring words of love. 

 

Words of Affirmation as a Love Language

What does it mean if words of affirmation are your preferred love language? Firstly, it means that verbal communication is essential for you to feel positive about your relationship. While others might prefer their partners helping them out with a clean home or doing chores, you need to hear your partner expressing their love for you. In return, you probably also love telling them how much they mean to you. 

These words of affirmation bring you comfort and safety. You don’t expect them to hear you only when you’re feeling down or uncertain about your partner’s feelings for you. For you, words of affirmation help build a stronger relationship between you and the other person. It’s a way to be clear and straightforward about the importance they have in your life. Simply put, you celebrate love with words!

These words can be verbal encouragement, compliments, and affirmations. If you’re just discovering that this is your love language or your partner’s, take a look at our list of examples that can help you familiarize yourself with these phrases and use them in your daily life with your loved ones.

 

Examples of Words of Affirmation 

When talking about words of affirmation, the most common way to express appreciation is through giving compliments. However, you can also encourage them and show your love with words.

Below is the list of our favorite examples of words of affirmation:

  • You are incredibly attractive, both on the inside and outside.
  • You mean the world to me.
  • I love the way you make me laugh.
  • I appreciate everything you do for me.
  • You make my life so much better just by being in it.
  • I believe in you—you can do anything you set your mind to!
  • I’m so proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished.
  • You inspire me every single day.
  • You’ve got this! I’m here to support you.
  • You are stronger than you think.
  • I love you more than words can express.
  • Being with you is my favorite part of every day.
  • You are my safe place, my home.
  • I feel so lucky to have you in my life.
  • I cherish every moment with you.
  • You are so special to me, and I never take you for granted.
  • You are enough, just as you are.
  • I admire your kindness and the way you care for others.
  • You make every day brighter with your presence.
  • The world is a better place because you’re in it.

 

How to Love Someone with Words of Affirmation 

Just because you know that your partner or a close friend prefers words of affirmation doesn’t mean that you’ll immediately be sure about the proper way to use them. When is the right time to say these loving phrases? How can you provide support and show appreciation if the person is not sitting next to you? 

Well, you can always send sweet text messages or voice notes. If your partner is having a busy day, seeing a loving, motivating message from you can help them get through it. Depending on both of your communication styles, these messages can be either short or long. You can send one of the phrases we’ve mentioned above in our list or use them as inspiration and write a longer message. Or you can even make these messages more personal by using nicknames, shared memories or dreams, or anything else that means a lot to you both. 

You can also leave little love notes on the mirror, nightstand, car, or on top of the phone. A message like ‘I love you’ can bring a smile to your partner’s face, especially if they aren’t expecting it.

When you’re complimenting them, make sure you do it genuinely. You don’t have to lie or exaggerate things. If you like their new haircut, the way that a particular shirt brings out their eyes, or how they look under the moonlight, tell them. Often in long-term relationships, couples tend to overlook compliments, thinking they’ve already expressed everything. However, hearing something positive about yourself can really boost your self-esteem and brighten up your day.  

Lastly, words of affirmation allow us to express gratitude. If your partner took care of you when you had a cold, what’s a better way to show gratitude than with words? Thanking them for being in your life shows that you recognize and appreciate their daily inspiration. 

 

Wrap Up 

Words have power, and this power can build intimate relationships that last. Making sure your partner knows how you feel about them eliminates uncertainty or confusion. When all is said, there’s no room for guessing. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or Valentine’s Day, to tell your significant other how you feel about them.

Say it today. If your partner doesn’t typically verbalize how they feel, your initiative can motivate them to do the same. Saying words of affirmation to each other every day brings you closer, reminds you of your best parts, and inspires you to grow together. Celebrating such moments through words is a wonderful way to make sure you remember them!

 

Start your journey at home with CONNECT. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Acts of Service Examples

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Acts of Service Examples You Can Start Doing Today

 

If your partner’s love language is the act of service or you simply are keen to learn more about it, you’ll want to go through the acts of service examples. Acts of service as a love language refer to doing certain activities that matter to the other person. An example can be running errands, buying them their favorite chocolate while they’re grocery shopping, or doing household chores. 

If you want to become more fluent in this love language, we’ve gathered everything you need to know about it. Get inspired by our acts of service examples and see which of them can be applied to your romantic relationships and friendships. 

 

What is an Act of Service?

Love language refers to the way we prefer to love and be loved. Besides an act of service, there is also gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. If you or your partner prefers the act of service as their dominant love language, you will want to familiarize yourself as much as possible with it. 

An act of service means you express your love or appreciation for another person through helpful actions instead of the other four love languages. Since this is your preferred language, you will appreciate it more if someone helps you thoughtfully rather than saying they love you or giving a hug. 

This is not to say you can only have one way you receive love. We can express love in different ways. However, one way will typically be dominant. In relationships with others, it’s important to be aware of our and their love language, as this allows us to grow and evolve together. 

 

Acts of Service List

Examples of acts of service can be quite different from person to person. For instance, you might enjoy it when your partner surprises you with a home-cooked meal after a long day at the office. Your friend, on the other hand, might prefer that their partner does all the chores if they have more spare time. 

These are some common examples of acts of service that can inspire you: 

  • Cook a meal for another person
  • Run errands for them 
  • Handle a task or chore you know they dislike
  • Surprise them with a clean home
  • Offer them a nice massage after a long day
  • Fix something you know they would use if it weren’t broken
  • Offer to drive them to work or somewhere else
  • Take care of them when they’re sick or tired
  • Offer to walk their dog for them 
  • Surprise them with a cup of coffee in the morning
  • Clean their car
  • Iron their clothes
  • Organize their closet
  • Prepare a nice bath for them
  • Pack them lunch on a busy day
  • Ask them how you can support them when they’re under stress

 

How to Give Acts of Service

If your partner’s love language is service, you understand that actions have a greater impact than words.  Below, you will find additional tips for performing acts of service. 

 

1.Express Gratitude for Support

Express gratitude to your spouse when they use your preferred language, and let them know you value it when they return the favor.  You will both feel appreciated in the relationship if you establish a pattern of showing each other love and gratitude. If acts of service are their preferred love language, enjoy the moments of their gratitude as well. Such moments can bring you closer. 

 

2.Ask About Their Preferred Acts of Service

Be specific.  Would they rather you just run that bath for them, or should you ask first?  Do they enjoy having you do the laundry yet, would rather handle the bill payment themselves?  Make sure your acts of service really serve your partner or friend. Occasionally, what we think would be best for others is not what they want at that moment.

 

3.Communication

Communication about what works for both of you is crucial in love languages.  It is important that you and your partner agree on the ways that you both like to show love.  Developing your communication skills in a partnership will come with numerous rewards.

 

4.Share What You Need

Both of you should practice asking for what you want. With time, the other person will learn which acts of service work best for you. For example, some people do not like it when you look through their drawers, while others want you to do their laundry and put it away for them. Remember that the goal is to show love and appreciation in the way your partner receives it, not to force yourself onto others.  

 

5.Don’t Compare

If your best friend and your boyfriend have a preference for acts of service, it doesn’t necessarily mean they will value the same actions. Every person is unique. Having an understanding of how to serve with love will be beneficial when meeting a new person with the same love language. However, listening carefully to them will show you what they really need from you. 

 

In Final Words

Acts of service are a wonderful way to show appreciation for other people in our lives, even if it’s not their dominant love language. If you notice your friend or family member stressed and without any spare time, offer your help. Maybe you can take their kids to school or take their clothes to the dry cleaner. Small acts like that can mean so much to someone who doesn’t have time or needs additional support in their life. 

By being supportive in that way, you not only show how much you care about this person. You help others who are in their inner circle. Being kind to each other benefits everyone around us. If you help your partner, their colleagues at work will notice they are much more relaxed. Your sister will have more time to spend with her spouse if you assist her with the children. 

If that’s the way you show love for others, you will want them to do the same for you. What’s a better way to receive it than give it to others first? 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

How Do I Talk To People?

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How Do I Talk To People at Social Gatherings?

 

Struggling to navigate social situations and wondering, “How do I talk to people?” You’re not alone!

Figuring out how to talk to people you don’t know is a huge part of socializing. Small talk can feel like a challenge, but with the right approach, it becomes much easier.

Whether you’re experiencing anxiety, feeling drained, or just not loving “peopling,” socializing can be tough. But knowing how to talk to people in a way that feels natural is a skill that can be developed.

In this video, I’ll share practical strategies for making social events more enjoyable. From knowing how to talk to someone you’ve just met to keeping conversations flowing with those you already know, you’ll learn tips to feel more comfortable and confident.

We’ll explore how body language, active listening, and conversation starters can improve how you talk to people. Plus, I’ll give advice for handling awkward silences and managing social boundaries.

If socializing feels exhausting, I’ll also discuss ways to recharge and engage with others on your own terms, without feeling drained.

You deserve to connect with others in a way that feels authentic and true to you.

Let’s dive into how you can talk to someone with confidence, clarity, and ease.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.