Fun Self Care Activities for Adults: For Those Struggling with Relationships and Intimacy!

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Fun Self Care Activities for Adults: For Those Struggling with Relationships and Intimacy! 

 

Especially for people who struggle with identity and intimacy, fun self-care activities for adults are crucial to living a healthy and satisfying life. Taking care of yourself can boost your self-esteem, sense of community, and sense of control over your life, whether you’re in a relationship or single.

Try these enjoyable self-care activities:

 

Nature strolls

Walking in nature is a wonderful way to connect with your surroundings. That is, you can stroll through a park or go for a casual stroll. Take a moment to enjoy the beauty of your surroundings and the fresh air. You may experience renewed energy as a result. 

 

Meditation and yoga

You can obtain inner peace and mental quiet through yoga and meditation. There are many various styles to pick from, whether you favor a more demanding practice or a softer approach. I advise beginning out slowly. Here, self-care and enjoyment are the focus.

 

Sound therapy

Music therapy is a fun way to explore your own creativity and get in touch with your feelings. This is a fantastic hobby to attempt, whether you are a musician or simply enjoy listening to music. For various moods, you can compose playlists with songs that make you joyful. 

 

The use of art 

A creative technique to express your feelings and get in touch with your inner selves is through art therapy. It doesn’t matter if you’re a seasoned artist or a novice. What matters, really? pursuing your creative side. This can be accomplished alone, with a buddy, or with a partner.

This can be accomplished alone, with a buddy, or with a partner.

 

Spa Day

If you have the chance to reserve a spa day, it’s one of the best ways to connect with someone—either yourself or another. This can be done at home or at a nearby spa. This can apply to spa services like massages and facials as well. Don’t forget to allocate time for leisure and avoid rushing between appointments.

 

Self-care can support intimacy! 

By offering opportunities for rest, connection, and self-expression, self-care can support identity and intimacy. You feel more in charge, self-assured, and able to connect with people when you take care of yourself.

Self-care is equally crucial for all individuals. You can carry out each of the activities here with friends or alone by simply purchasing a ticket on Eventbrite. Taking care of oneself is the main objective, regardless of your relationship situation.

 

Conclusion

An essential component of living a healthy and fulfilled life is practicing self care. You can feel more confident if you take care of yourself.

Are you ready to acquire more knowledge and discover a more fulfilling experience?

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

On the Importance of Communication in Relationships

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On the Importance of Communication in Relationships

 

The importance of communication in relationships is crucial for effectively communicating in any relationship you have. Communication allows individuals to understand each other, connect, and build trust with one another. 

Without communication, misunderstandings and conflicts can arise, leading to frustration, resentment, and potentially the breakdown of the relationship. Many people do not understand the importance of communication in relationships. 

Why? 

Because effective communication involves both speaking and listening. 

The importance of communication in relationships is needed to express your thoughts and feelings to your partner in a clear yet concise manner, and to be open to hearing their perspective too. This means actively listening to what they have to say, without interrupting or becoming visibly defensive.

In a healthy relationship, both people feel comfortable and safe communicating with each other. It’s okay to disagree or have different viewpoints, yet it’s important to have open and honest discussions to find common ground and resolve conflicts.

Effective communication also involves being able to express your needs and boundaries. It’s important for both partners to feel like their needs and wants are being heard and respected. This can help prevent misunderstandings and resentment from building up over time as there is enough room for everyone’s needs.

In summary, the importance of communication in relationships is essential. It allows individuals to have connection, build trust, and repair conflicts. Without communication in a relationship, misunderstandings and frustration can lead to the breakdown of the foundation.

Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies

Love-Language-and-Communication-Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know Chastity Rodriguez, LMFT, MEd, EMP, PC, CME by making an appointment. Chas specializes in individuals with chronic stuckness, teenagers and the next generation, and helping bring strategies for success. Start your journey here with Chas or the other therapists.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Life Coaching for Teenagers: What is It

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Life Coaching for Teenagers: What is It

 

As a parent, you may be interested in life coaching for teenagers because you want your teenager to grow into a confident and self-sufficient adult. 

Life coaching for teenagers can be a valuable resource for helping teenagers to develop the skills and mindset needed to achieve their goals and live a fulfilling life. 

Here are a few reasons why life coaching is good for teens:

Life coaching helps teens to identify their strengths. 

Many teenagers are still figuring out who they are and what they want to do with their lives. A life coach can help teens to identify their unique strengths and passions and to use them to create a vision for their future.

Life coaching helps teenagers set goals.

Teens may struggle with setting and achieving goals on their own, particularly if they lack direction or motivation. A life coach can help teens to set and achieve short-term and long-term goals, which can boost their confidence and help them to feel more in control of their lives.

Life coaching helps teens to build resilience. 

Life can be tough, and teens may struggle with setbacks and challenges. A life coach can help teens to develop a growth mindset and to build resilience, which can help them to overcome obstacles and bounce back from setbacks.

Life coaching helps teenagers to manage stress and anxiety. 

Many teens struggle with stress and anxiety, which can negatively impact their mental health and well-being. A life coach can help teens to identify the sources of their stress and to develop coping strategies to manage it effectively.

In conclusion, life coaching is a valuable resource for helping teens to develop skills. Life coaching is needed to achieve teens goals for living a fulfilling life. If you are a parent looking for ways to support your teenager, consider seeking out the services of a life coach. Life coaching for teenagers is new and can be used via text therapy, phone chats, or video.

Check Out All Our Additional Therapy Video

Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies

Love-Language-and-Communication-Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know Chastity Rodriguez, LMFT, MEd, EMP, PC, CME by making an appointment. Chas specializes in individuals with chronic stuckness, teenagers and the next generation, and helping bring strategies for success. Start your journey here with Chas or the other therapists.

Our team of compassionate therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Group of individuals at a Diversity equity and inclusion training

Diversity Equity and Inclusion Training Guide For Companies

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Diversity Equity and Inclusion Training Guide For Companies

 

Today’s progressive leadership is addressing differences in workplace culture brought on by social obstacles such as diversity equity and inclusion training. It’s crucial to stress diversity, equality, and inclusion (DEI) training is completed to have a better future for employees. Fortunately, inclusive behaviors and practices can be taught through continual training and learning, making them essential abilities to acquire.

Building a workplace where just diversity equity and inclusion training is considered enough isn’t reasonable. After a DEI training, an organization still needs help with growth potential and adjusting their culture, all while improving the lives of marginalized employees.

Training is just a tiny piece of a much bigger DEI puzzle. The truth is that a corporation as a whole won’t shift significantly on diversity equity and inclusion training with just a few sessions.  However, when combined with other DEI consultants, maybe it can be a crucial component of an overall approach.

Definition of Diversity Equity and Inclusion Training

Employees across all levels and departments can benefit from diversity equity and inclusion training by being more curious with coworkers with different identities. 

Since diversity, equity, and inclusion are, at their foundation, human issues, the emphasis for DEI training should always be on the human case. However, DEI has much broader organizational benefits as well, and there are many compelling business reasons to undertake this type of training.

Everyone in your organization, especially those in leadership and people management roles, should take part in some sort of DEI training. Leadership and senior positions frequently have the lowest levels of workplace diversity, although those in these positions frequently have the most influence across the firm. Your leadership team’s participation and active involvement in DEI activities are therefore even more crucial.

DEI Training Topics

Each organization will customize its diversity, equality, and inclusion training to meet its unique needs, yet the majority will cover five major areas.

1. Diversity vs. Inclusion

Diversity or the representation of different groups at work is only one step. When a group is included, it signifies that decision-making occurs at the organizational level.

They are provided tools, a seat at the table, and support to create changes that promote fairness across all traits, backgrounds, skills, experiences, and viewpoints.

2. Unconscious Bias

Growing up in a culture often results in unconscious bias, also known as implicit bias. It is an unavoidable aspect of every human on the planet.

Even the most awake and conscientious person still carries these unconscious attitudes, especially if a culture has a history of systemic and institutionalized discrimination. Participants receive DEI training that helps them identify and confront their bias.

3. Microaggressions

Unconscious bias frequently results in microaggressions as well. One of the most common so-called “deaths by a thousand cuts” is interrupting when a non-binary person is talking and assuming someone’s pronouns or sexual orientation based on their appearance or tone.

Through DEI training, it is essential to recognize micro-aggressions and retrain staff to promote an inclusive culture.

4. Building Allyship

Employees that participate in diversity, equity, and inclusion training programs learn how to support marginalized groups both on and off the clock. Building collective accountability for all employees and how they are treated is known as allyship, and it it build over time. It naturally leads into the last phase of DEI training.

5. Bystander Intervention Training

When they witness discrimination, many people feel uneasy yet unsure how to react. They can worry about increasing confrontation or they can fear for their safety.

Employees receive the skills they need to act safely through bystander intervention training, enabling them to assist in de-escalating conflict and managing emotions.

Take a careful look at your organization and pinpoint any areas of bias that require improvement. Different companies will have different training needs, so there is no need to copy what someone else is doing. 

Diversity Equity and Inclusion Training Ideas

It can be difficult to choose the right tools as you start to diversify your training. Which techniques can help you determine the types of diversity training you need, and how will DEI training be implemented successfully? Can you start this process by including different voices to emphasize the most crucial points? There is a significant chance that underrepresented employees will be more aware of their own requirements.

The first stage in any training program is to determine what needs to be learned, and then to develop diversity, equity, and inclusion training concepts to address those needs.

For background materials, you might employ YouTube, webinars, or microlearning technologies, yet it’s also essential to include interactive training techniques. Teams must communicate personally to become more cohesive, and move from a “them” perspective to an inclusive “us.”

All participants’ experiences with the issues addressed in DEI training are extremely personal. Employees who experience discrimination on the job often understandably become furious, while those who do not may become accusatory or defensive. Setting up a routine that allows for these heightened emotions and enough time to absorb complex sentiments is crucial.

If this seems more sentimental than typical staff training, that’s because it is. More than if you were only providing training on safe lifting, diversity, equity, and inclusion training challenges generational bias and is likely to elicit strong emotions. Ensure your trainers can honor and appreciate every situation that emerges when employees strive for more equity.

Building an Equitable Workplace

The wider social problems of institutionalized racism and injustice won’t be resolved by diversity, equality, and inclusion training, yet progress can be made. The more your company is aware of these issues and works towards solving and preventing them in the future, the workplace will become a healthier environment that motivates your employees to contribute to the organization and become a more connected team. 

 

DEI Consultant

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

DEI Training – An Overview of Topics

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DEI Training – An Overview of Topics

 

There are a range of options when it comes to DEI training topics. 

The point of DEI training topics is to bring diverse groups of employees together to contribute to organizations more constructively. From communication and compassion to equity and justice, here are all the topics you can expect to find in DEI training that are worth dedicating your future time and resources to as well. 

1. Verbal & Physical Communication

Social media has made it more important than ever for businesses to be open about their perspectives and opinions on many societal topics if they want to stay in the public eye. In order to show their support for their employees, businesses must take a position when a subject or social issue is raised. Here is where diversity and inclusion are connected to communication.

Leaders have an obligation to all employees, regardless of age, sexual orientation, ethnicity, cultural background, disability, etc., to create a place where staff feel valued and respected. It is one thing for a business to publicly declare their support for, say, the LGBTQIA+ community; it is quite another to take concrete action to demonstrate this support.

2. Equity

In the procedures, processes, and allocation of resources by institutions or systems, equity is the promotion of justice, objectivity, and fairness. Understanding the underlying causes of result discrepancies within our society is necessary to address equity challenges. All institutions and systems should equally serve each person, without exceptions. As a DEI professional, your responsibility is to examine whether the organization is giving equal opportunities to everyone. 

When addressing an equity challenge, a DEI coach should first understand the reason why there is no equity to be able to later change that. It is their mission to find solutions that work for everyone and allow the organization to truly live the DEI concept, not only preach it. 

3. Justice

Justice cannot exist without equity, both in theory and in reality. Fundamentally, justice is fairness. Having what you require to function in a society that is undergoing constant change is fair and just. And because each person has unique intersections and identities, problems, and privileges, that look different for each person.

Everyone needs a place to live, therefore justice may look like affordable housing for those who cannot afford a mortgage. Everyone deserves access to information they can understand, even if it means tests and materials printed in languages other than English. 

Justice might entail having a voice in politics, having the ability to vote, having access to equitable education for everybody, being able to use public facilities with a partner of the same gender, receiving health benefits, and having laws that prohibit people from losing their jobs because of their size.

4. Compassion

When we talk about DEI today, compassion is sometimes absent or overlooked as a cornerstone of efforts since it is about how to perceive the world from someone else’s perspective. Compassion is defined as empathy plus action.

Too often, we discuss diversity, equity, and inclusion in terms of what we shouldn’t be doing. However, compassion is necessary to comprehend why some behaviors are not inclusive and may even injure someone else, as well as to foster an environment of equity and inclusion inside an organization. DEI requires a rethink that places compassion at its core.

We are currently seeing polarization and fear around us. Sometimes unknowingly, we bring our emotions and our varied viewpoints to the workplace. When it comes to establishing an inclusive culture in any organization, compassion, which enables us to take into consideration where another person may be coming from, is crucial.

5. Stereotypes

You may already be aware that a stereotype is a preconceived idea about a specific individual or group of people that assumes they are all the same. We frequently pass judgment on people in this way without proper understanding or support. Although it shouldn’t exist, this way of thinking is prevalent in most workplaces. 

In the workplace, stereotypes can lead to conflict, low morale, low productivity, and a host of other undesirable outcomes. Progress will be substantially hampered if your employees respond according to stereotypes rather than letting their coworkers complete the tasks they are given. You can use gamification strategies to challenge stereotypes in a non-convenient way. 

6. Unconscious Bias

With good reason, this is one of the most popular diversity training topics. Unconscious bias is frequently regarded as one of the main barriers to diversity. Unconscious prejudice is the number one adversary of innovation, according to some. 

When our minds tell us that people who think, look, and act like us are safer/better than those who don’t, unconscious bias training is helpful. If we think in this way, we must shift our thinking since diverse individuals will contribute unique qualities and viewpoints that will ultimately foster growth.

7. Racism

Given everything that is going on in the world right now around racism, leaders must cover this subject in any diversity training. We wouldn’t be done with the part if we concentrated on the negative effects of racism. Let’s now discuss some positive outcomes that can occur in a workplace where racism is not tolerated. 

More innovation and creativity will be produced by employees for companies with encouraging workplaces. You can utilize many different platforms to put together your presentation if you’re thinking of developing a course or training using racism, minorities, and ethnicity as one of your key topics. It has an effective authoring tool for which no specialized knowledge is required.

8. Microaggressions at Work

Microaggression is a crucial subject that is frequently ignored in diversity education workshops. Microaggression is the term used to characterize the unintentional or intentional insults or slights that are made to underrepresented individuals in your workforce daily, whether they are vocal, nonverbal, or environmental in their nature. If this is not addressed right away, it may result in very low morale and poor output.

These concepts unfortunately don’t often stick. If DEI training topics aren’t directed into the future, the DEI training isn’t creating lasting impact. Which not only hurts companies and their employees, yet can hurt the DEI consultant as well who is putting on the training. Learning to work with a DEI consultant or a DEI coach can help. 

DEI Consultant

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

I Hate Therapy: 7 Reasons Why People Say This Phrase

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I Hate Therapy: 7 Reasons Why People Say This Phrase

 

If you have ever said or heard someone saying ‘I hate therapy,’ they probably didn’t have a great match. 

Although the general public is becoming more aware of the benefits of therapy, a lot of people are not interested in talking to others about their time in therapy. 

There are many reasons for someone’s lack of motivation to start therapy, from insurance to time constraints. In this article, we’ll go through reasons why people say i hate therapy and a solution for each! 

#1 The Paradox of Choice

Typically, it is nice to have more than one option when deciding, yet having an endless number of choices might make you reluctant to make a decision. When it comes to therapists, most people will feel overwhelmed with so many different types of therapy to try. Without a recommendation, you’re often stuck reviewing names and phrases that mean nothing to you until you finally decide to quit. 

To help you decide, consider creating a list of criteria: the days and times you are available, price, or online recommendations. If a person lacks one or more requirements, they will be eliminated from your list. Simple as that! This also helps you feel more confident in your decision.

#2 Long Waitlists

Even if you easily find a therapist you like, there is a chance you will need to join a waitlist first. Therapists are limited in the number of new clients they are taking on, so you’ll maybe need to wait a few weeks or even months until your first session. If you’re currently going through a certain situation that made you reach out to a therapist, it might be difficult to wait for a response from your chosen therapist.

Instead of waiting, you can focus on other resources that could help you such as reading books and articles, watching inspirational movies, or talking to your friends about it. This will take your mind from thinking about your therapy and allow you to feel better with things you can easily do in your daily life.

#3 Therapy Takes Time

Therapy is not an instant solution to problems. People who decide to start seeing a therapist have to be aware that, depending on the reason for therapy, it takes time to improve certain areas. The time might even be longer for people treating depression, anxiety, insomnia, or any other disorder.

To avoid feeling frustrated, you should celebrate smaller milestones. For instance, celebrate one month of therapy, the first time you approached a difficult situation differently or noticed an improvement in any other way. 

#4 Mismatch

Many people skip researching their therapists before scheduling the initial session, which often leads to a bad match. A personal impression of your therapist is crucial as you’ll share your intimate feelings, emotions and thoughts with them. If you don’t like them for any reason, this will impact your therapy. 

Do a bit of research. Search for the therapist’s YouTube videos, blog, or social media accounts to listen to how they talk and if you like how they think about certain topics. How they explain their view of a topic can explain a lot about a person, especially if you share the same core values.

#5 Not Ready 

That is probably the most valid answer on the list. Some people will not be ready to put in the work to make their therapy work. After all, you will not solve your problems or heal your traumas by only talking to your therapist, yet you have to be willing to change certain actions or thoughts that prevent leading to the same outcome.

If you feel like you need therapy yet are not ready for it, seek alternative solutions that might work for you. Reading a book about an issue or trauma might be something that feels right at the given time, and it could even motivate you to talk to a therapist later when you feel ready.

#6 Unrealistic Expectations

If you haven’t been to therapy before, chances are you are uncertain about what to expect. Some people assume that talking to a therapist once about their issue is enough. Even though they are mental health experts, they are not magicians. It takes time to change patterns in your life, regardless of the type of the issue or trauma. 

People often choose to go to therapists for years to work on their mental and emotional health because they are aware of many things worth discussing on a professional level. To be more realistic, you can talk to people who have gone to therapy already or read about personal experiences online.

#7 In Denial

We have all been in denial about something at some point in our lives and probably more than once. However, the trickiest part about denial is that you think you don’t need help. You deeply believe you can solve all your problems although they have been present in your life for a while now.

For therapy to work, you must accept to learn and change. You must be willing to listen to your therapist and try new methods that might sound scary, odd, or uncredible at first. Understanding that this person is an expert in their field provides them with credibility, and you should make the most of their advice and implement it in your life. 

In Final Words

Therapy is not easy. You cannot compare it to shopping or going to a restaurant. As you start working with a therapist, you will notice how issues in your life change. You may go from saying “I hate therapy” to “this is working.” 

Such results require you to dedicate time, make goals, spend time learning new skill sets, and have faith in the process. If you don’t trust me, you can ask anybody who has tried therapy in their lifetime. It brings so many benefits into your life, and just by talking to a therapist regularly, you can get a new perspective.

 Get CONNECT now

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Darcey and Georgi

Darcey and Georgi in The Trigger Tango Therapy Episode

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Darcey and Georgi in The Trigger Tango Therapy Episode

 

I had the pleasure of helping Darcey and Georgi on a January 17th episode of Darcey & Stacey on TLC and noticed how they were stuck in the trigger tango. 

The trigger tango is common in intimate communication, especially for those we are most comfortable with. 

When I have the thought that my partner doesn’t understand me. Instead of taking a pause to try to find understanding and compassion, we often raise our voices. When one person raises their voice, then the other either avoids, freezes or fights. Which could mean raising their voice as well. This is how we begin the trigger tango. 

Instead of being in the moment together using empathetic or reflective listening many individuals just begin to have harsh and critical exchanges with one another. 

Although we speak the same language, we have different ways that we conceive the specific words and tone someone uses. 

Since we have mirror neurons, when one person gets activated using a tone, the other person will have their nerves get activated too. 

Creating new communication strategies instead of getting into a trigger tango with someone you love is important for successful relationships. 

Darcey and Georgi

 

How to Stop the Trigger Tango

Sometimes just pausing your partner and saying “I feel nervous – as if we are just in a trigger tango with one another right now.” 

 

Call it Out

Discussing that you notice your partner and then referring to embodiment of your limbic system eliminates the trigger tango effect. 

The practice of noticing and naming the issue as it’s happening – by saying “trigger tango” – actually can help couples to remember that they need to slow and calm down. 

The importance of this is to eliminate the concept that we truly or completely know one another. And instead exhibit positive intention, gentle noticing, and work at breaking current negative conversation and communication patterns.

 

Take a Deep Breath

Now that we are adults, we often get triggered by things that remind us of childhood. A time where we were actually powerless. As an adult, there are many times I remind myself, my team. And my clients to take a deep breath and consider what you feel in your body. This is a quick and effective grounding technique. 

Instead of taking offense to someone else’s tone and getting caught up in the trigger tango. Taking a pause and breathing helps us to get in touch with ourselves in this present moment. 

Embodied connecting is really important, and when we are with another. It’s helpful to attune with each other instead of escalating. When we are embodied, we can observe our emotions and our partner’s emotions at a distance instead of acting out of our emotional state. 

We forget that unless there is physical force, we are not actually in danger, it just feels emotionally uncomfortable. When we feel this way, we can make a request, state a compassionate boundary, or invite collaborative conversation. 

Most people did not have communications training and do not know how to begin these conversations. You can start by learning communication skills or going to a couples therapist who is skilled in the chain of the Trigger Tango or within the reactivity cycle. 

Additionally, you may want to check out my therapy video on couples communications. 

Seeing a couples therapist to guide you on how to slow down, provide tactics and structure can be very helpful. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Darcey and Stacey

Darcey and Stacey – Couples Therapy on a Reality Show

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Darcey and Stacey – Couples Therapy on a Reality Show

 

Let’s admit it, so many of us indulge in TV entertainment, whether it’s binge-watching on Netflix or following reality shows like Darcey and Stacey. I had the pleasure to work with with Darcey and Georgi in a couples therapy session. Their objectives were to work out some of their key issues, such as communication and trust. This session was filmed by the production crew and aired on TLC on Monday, January 17, 2022. I am happy to share share this exciting experience with you. 

Watch a preview of season 3, episode 2 “Georgi and Darcey See a Therapist” | Darcey & Stacey:

 

 

Watch the entire episode of Darcey and Stacey (you may have to sign up for a Discovery account).

Reality Shows

In the last decade, reality shows have dominated the TV industry. From Keeping Up With The Kardashians and American Idol to Jersey Shore and The Bachelorette, these fake reality shows had dozens of millions of viewers watching each episode. With social media integrating into our daily lives, watching our favorite programs also includes following reality stars on Instagram and Twitter – curiously awaiting their every move.

The underlying factor that this type of program has is the involvement we feel when we are consuming reality shows. We start to feel like we’re a part of the show and the lives of people in it. So much so, that we are curious to see what will happen next. 

Watching Darcey and Stacey may make you feel the highs and lows of balancing parenting and the romantic experiences in their lives. It’s no surprise that reality shows have an impact on our emotions as well. 

 

Darcey and Stacey – Behind the Scenes 

My experience with Darcey and Georgi coming to see me as a therapist was great. I was approached by the producer about a month prior to conducting a filmed couples therapy session with Darcey and Georgi, because Darcey’s former boyfriends often said that she should see a therapist.

 

They found information about me and my practice, Life Coaching and Therapy online and liked what they read on my website and in client reviews about my methods and results. After speaking to them, I agreed to this session, because I am often interested in finding ways for couples that are struggling to come together and determine if their relationship is worth salvaging.

 

Darcey and Georgi and the entire crew were incredibly professional, mindful and curious. They were respectful of my office and health requirements. The crew was actually in my office a whole day.

 

Fake Reality Shows

My episode with Darcey and Georgi was actually a four-hour long session. It was edited down to about 10 minutes on screen. I sat with Darcey and Georgi and listened to the intensity of the relationship and the issues. I provided insight and useful techniques to help them meet their relationship and communication objectives. This is same way I work in my off-screen couple sessions. 

 

Fake Reality Shows

 

During the session the couple had a lot of conflict, but it was edited out of the episode.

 

What you see in reality shows is only part of the story. Reality show conflicts and arguments don’t happen or resolve as quickly in real life. Unfortunately conflict arises in all relationships, which take work to repair. It always takes time, effort, and repetition to build trust after conflicts.

 

Even the most dramatic moments of a reality show are edited and produced in a way that creates a certain reaction in the viewer . This is done to hook you into watching the show every week. There really was actual drama in the session. It just took longer to build the intensity than what was shown in the episode. 

So as a viewer, don’t think one couples therapy session can solve everything, because it cannot! Do not compare your life to the cast’s lives on reality shows.

 

Focus on building a strong relationship with your partner and prioritize spending quality time with them whenever you can. (This might mean watching fewer shows.)

 

Having quality relationships with people we care about is the only road to happiness and a fulfilled life.

 

If you feel your relationship could use communication help you may want to check out my therapy video on couples communication strategies and tactics.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

interracial couples

Preserving Connection in Interracial Couples

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Preserving Connection in Interracial Couples

 

In all relationships, and especially with interracial couples, sometimes all you have is each other. With the odds seemingly stacked against you, you must build a solid foundation to stand on. One of the most damaging characteristics in some relationships is when partners turn on each other when things get tough.

Conflicts happen in every relationship. Yours will be different because you’re struggling with yourselves and others over claiming your identity. You have to fight all of the feelings that try to tell you what you should like, who you should be, and how you should act.

Make a concerted effort to build each other up so you have armor to face any racism, misconceptions, and other forms of mistreatment from outside your relationship. When you disagree, do so with respect.

If you ever find yourselves fighting consistently over a topic, whether it’s race-related or not, seek out help from a therapist who can help you navigate complicated issues. They’ll be able to give you tools to help you communicate better so without damaging your partner.

interracial couples

Accepting Your Partner’s Context

Context means a lot in every day life, and specifically in interracial dating.

It opens up a new sense of clarity and meaning when we have the proper context. Have you ever walked into a situation without knowing the background? You’re woefully unprepared. Once you have context, though, you’re better equipped to manage work, relationships, and anything else.

In an interracial couple, each partner has their own context. The way they grew up, the relationship they had with their parents, what they were exposed to, and how their views on race developed all have a huge impact on who they are.

If you’re part of an interracial couple or are interested in being in one, do the work to understand your partner’s context. It will be easier for some. Think about how differently a first-generation immigrant will react to cultural and racial issues versus someone whose family has been here for generations and may only hold a loose connection to their ethnic heritage.

When you have context, you can support each other more effectively in good times and bad. You’ll be attuned to what may trigger negative emotions in your partner, so you’ll be there earlier to support them when they need it.

 

Embrace the Differences

There’s so much beauty in the differences we all have. So often, people try to use differences to drive people apart, though, they should bring us together. Dating someone from a different race is a great opportunity to learn, whether it’s exposure to a new culture or different attitudes.

Fight complacency by talking to your partner frequently about how they are feeling. Accentuate the positives, laugh about the misconceptions. Air it all out and build from what you find. You can both create an intimate safe zone where all questions are allowed in the spirit of learning and discovery.

Conversations about race aren’t easy, particularly when they’re with the partner you love and want an intimate connection with. Feelings can be hurt, and statements misconstrued. Keep any inherent privilege in mind when you make decisions that affect both of you. Keep communication open and honest.

If you find yourself spending too much time with one race over another, change things up a bit. If, for example, you’re an Asian man dating a white woman and each of your social circles is racially homogenous, try to get everyone together. You’ll have a terrific impact on changing more than just your perspectives.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.