Gottman Method Couples Therapy

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Gottman Method Couples Therapy vs. Traditional Marriage Counseling: What’s the Difference?

 

When faced with relationship challenges, many couples choose the Gottman Method Couples Therapy over traditional marriage counseling. John and Julie Gottman created a structured, research-based approach to couples counseling that focuses on strengthening their bond and managing conflict. These practical, emotion-driven strategies have become popular in the last few years, yet how do they differ from traditional couples therapy? 

As someone who is looking to invest in their relationship, you might be interested in learning more about the Gottman Method. This article explores the key differences and benefits of these two approaches and helps you choose the right method for you and your partner. 

 

What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?

Traditional couples therapy often provides space and time for partners to talk about issues or goals. In contrast, Gottman Method Couples Therapy offers practical exercises and tools that couples can use with their therapist and at home.

The Gottmans developed this method after 40 years of research and observation. They found that certain areas of a relationship are essential for a strong bond and healthy conflict management. These areas became the core principles of their emotion-focused model, known as The Sound Relationship House Theory.

The main principles include:

  • Building love maps: Partners learn each other’s inner world to deepen understanding.

  • Nurturing fondness and admiration: Showing appreciation and respect every day.

  • Turning toward each other: Responding positively when your partner seeks connection or support.

  • Letting your partner influence you: Sharing power and allowing mutual influence.

  • Solving solvable problems: Using healthy communication and conflict management skills.

  • Overcoming gridlock: Staying curious and finding ways to move past recurring issues.

  • Creating shared meaning: Building rituals, goals, and a shared sense of purpose.

This method adds structure to traditional therapy. It guides couples on how to build connection and handle conflict, which naturally shows up in every relationship. It also encourages partners to apply these tools outside the therapist’s office and work toward shared goals—rather than just talking about problems.

Structure of Gottman Therapy

If you’ve scheduled your first session, you may wonder what to expect. All you truly need is the motivation to participate and try your best. Some therapists may also ask you to prepare certain information or complete a questionnaire to understand you both better.

You will notice that the therapist follows a clear roadmap. It is typically divided into four phases: assessment, therapeutic interventions, ongoing progress and maintenance, and conclusion.

Assessment Phase 

The first phase allows the therapist to get to know you as individuals and as a couple. In most cases, this phase takes about three sessions. The therapist meets with each of you separately and then together.
Separate sessions give each partner space to speak freely about personal experiences, family history, and concerns.
The final session in this phase focuses on feedback, introducing the Sound Relationship House Theory, and setting clear goals for therapy.

Therapeutic Interventions Phase 

This is the phase where the therapist works on the core principles of the Gottman Method. The couple learns how to build a love map, enhance fondness and admiration, manage conflict, and so on. Depending on the nature of the relationship and the issues the couple is facing, a therapist might decide to focus more on certain principles. 

Ongoing Progress & Maintenance 

The Gottman Method encourages couples to practice new skills between sessions. Your therapist will check in on progress, refine strategies, and introduce you to new tools or ideas if necessary. In this phase, the couple is focused on building long-term resilience and connection instead of reacting to recent events or emotions. 

Ending Therapy

After you’ve applied all that your therapist suggested and started noticing benefits in your relationship, you will be encouraged to continue applying these principles in your everyday life. A therapist could suggest scheduling maintenance check-ins every few months to reinforce positive habits. There is no way to tell how long a couple will be in therapy, as each relationship dynamic and challenge is different. 

 

Benefits of Gottman Method Couples Therapy 

Couples can benefit from this structured approach in many ways, regardless of their motivation to start therapy. If you’re still unclear whether Gottman Method Couples Therapy is the right choice for you and your partner, consider the following benefits:

  • 40 years of research and observation of couples
  • Research shows the Gottman Method can reduce divorce rates
  • Structured therapy offering a clear roadmap for partners
  • Helps partners rediscover friendship, intimacy, and admiration
  • Improves communication skills
  • Manages conflict constructively

 

Conclusion

When couples seek help, the type of therapy they choose can make all the difference. Traditional marriage counseling has long provided a safe space for partners to talk through their struggles, gain emotional support, and explore solutions with the guidance of a therapist. For many couples, this flexible and conversational approach feels natural and valuable.

On the other hand, Gottman Method Couples Therapy offers something unique. It is a structured, research-based framework proven to strengthen relationships over the long term. The Gottman Method equips couples with practical tools they can use daily and outside the therapist’s office by focusing on friendship, healthy conflict management, trust, and shared meaning. It moves beyond crisis management to help partners deepen their bond and build resilience for the future.

Ultimately, the best choice depends on your relationship’s needs and goals. Couples who want evidence-backed roadmaps may gravitate toward the Gottman Method. Those seeking more open-ended dialogue may prefer traditional counseling. What matters most is finding an approach that resonates with both partners and fosters real growth. To book a session today, schedule an appointment here.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training

provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

10 Unique Things Couples Should Do Together

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10 Unique Things Couples Should Do Together

 

In this video, I’m sharing 10 unique things couples should do together to build emotional intimacy, physical synergy, and creative passion. These aren’t basic “go on a date” tips. Instead, they are intentional experiences that pull you out of routine and into connection.

First, we’ll explore vulnerability swaps. Then, we’ll dive into sensory deprivation games, invention nights, role reversals, and adventurous challenges. Each activity is designed to spark curiosity and deepen trust.

You’ll learn how to shake up routines and create moments that bring you closer rather than drifting apart. Whether you’ve been together for 3 months or 30 years, these ideas can reignite excitement and build unbreakable bonds.

Most importantly, we’re talking about real connection—adrenaline, quiet intimacy, emotional honesty, teamwork, and playful experimentation. These moments keep your relationship alive and constantly evolving.

So, get ready for laughter, tension, surprise, and maybe a little chaos—in the best way.

If your relationship feels predictable, this video is the plot twist you need. Let’s make love feel alive again.

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Physical Signs of Being Sexually Active

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Physical Signs of Being Sexually Active Explained by a Sex Therapist

Have you ever wondered what the real physical signs of being sexually active are?

Myths, gossip, and assumptions can be misleading. This post breaks down the most common ways sexual activity can show up in the body.

It’s not about “figuring out” someone else’s sex life. It’s about understanding how intimacy affects you.

When we’re sexually active, our bodies release hormones like oxytocin, estrogen, and testosterone. These hormones increase blood flow and brighten the skin. Many people get that natural post-intimacy “glow.” Some notice clearer skin, softer features, or a radiant look. Others feel more relaxed, focused, or energized.

Sex can also affect sleep, stress, and the immune system. You might see changes in appetite, menstrual cycles, or muscle tension. These shifts happen because the body responds to regular arousal and connection.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:
✨ “How do you know if someone is sexually active?”
✨ “Can intimacy change how I look or feel?”
✨ “Is it normal for my body to shift after more or less sex?”

This article is for you. I explain it from a therapist’s perspective — clearly, without shame, and based on science.

Whether you’re sexually active, abstinent, or somewhere in between, understanding these signs can help you tune in to your body. It’s a way to understand your health and vitality more deeply.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

3 Most Important Things in A Relationship

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3 Most Important Things in A Relationship: Bulletproof Bonds

 

Unlock the top 3 secrets to bulletproof bonds in just 7 minutes with Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, licensed sex therapist and PhD in clinical sexology.

Whether you’re single, dating, or married, these essentials—communication, respect, and intimacy—can transform your love life and help you build lasting connections.

In this short video, Dr. Amanda shares practical tools and expert insights that anyone can apply to strengthen their relationship. These aren’t abstract theories—they’re real, actionable strategies designed to help you and your partner build trust, handle challenges, and keep your connection alive through every stage of love.

Why does this matter? Because the truth is, even the strongest couples can drift apart without consistent effort. Communication ensures you both feel heard and understood. Respect helps you honor one another’s differences while creating safety and security. And intimacy—emotional and physical—keeps passion and closeness at the center of your bond.

Dr. Amanda has helped thousands of individuals and couples worldwide, and now she’s bringing her most important insights directly to you. If you want a simple, clear roadmap to stronger, healthier love, this video is the perfect place to start.

Bedroom Checklist for Couples: Vanilla to Kinky

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is Sexual Healing?

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What Is Sexual Healing? Exploring the Mind-Body Connection in Intimacy

 

You might be wondering, ‘What is sexual healing?’ and what it entails. Or you’re on your healing journey right now and want to try different techniques. Sexual healing is essential for building or rebuilding emotional intimacy. It also helps with recovering from trauma or reconnecting with yourself.

Many assume sexual healing is only about sex. In reality, it explores the mind-body connection in intimacy. It focuses on making that bond sustainable and nourishing for both partners. Learn how to build that type of connection and maintain it through all the phases of your romantic life. 

 

Defining Sexual Healing

You may know the famous Marvin Gaye song, but sexual healing is rooted in much deeper practices. Sexual healing can be defined as the process of recreating a healthy and safe relationship with your sexuality. 

Although many assume that our sexuality is expressed only on the physical level, it actually needs to be restored on emotional, energetic, and spiritual levels. Sexual healing involves addressing wounds, shame, traumas, and disconnection. These are often stored in your body, nervous system, or memories. Examples of such wounds are feeling uncomfortable when being hugged by someone you love and trust, or struggling with allowing your sexual energy to flow and grow in your relationship. 

People look for sexual healing for different reasons. Some may see that they have the same intimacy issues in all their relationships, while others may want more sexual freedom in how they dress, flirt, have sex, and cuddle. 

It’s important to state that most of us need some type of healing. This doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of connecting with your partner without this process. It can help you see which parts of yourself need growth. Working on them can strengthen your bond with yourself and your partner.

 

Aspects of Sexual Healing

Depending on the reasons why you seek sexual healing, your therapist or healer might suggest different approaches to work on the relevant aspects. Some therapists might prefer going through all aspects of sexual healing to ensure you’ve rebuilt the connection with yourself that allows you to be a sexual being, celebrating all corners of your intimacy. 

 

Healing Through the Body and Nervous System

Our bodies remember what our minds may forget. Sexual healing often involves releasing stored tension, trauma, or numbness from past experiences, such as abuse, shame, or neglect, that have impacted your ability to feel safe, connected, or fully present during intimacy.

 

Reconnecting With Pleasure

Pleasure is not just physical. It is also emotional and energetic. Sexual healing helps you reclaim pleasure as a natural and nourishing force, rather than something tied to guilt, pain, or obligation. This can include learning to feel desire again, honoring your boundaries, or experiencing joy in your body.

 

Emotional and Energetic Restoration

Sexual healing often involves letting go of internalized shame or fear, rewriting limiting beliefs about sex, love, and your body. And learning to trust again, both yourself and others. This restoration might be necessary if you’re going through heartbreak, grief, or betrayal. Even if this happened years ago, it can still be in your body and nervous system. Until these emotions and energy have a safe way to exit your body, it will be difficult to truly heal. 

 

Sexual Healing Practices for You

If you’re looking for other types of therapy and self-awareness work that can help you with sexual healing, there are other techniques to consider. Depending on your preferences, you might discover that you enjoy working more with your trusted therapist on healing your inner child or trying out Tantra or breathwork. 

 

Somatic Therapy or Trauma-informed Talk Therapy

Somatic therapy focuses on the connection between the mind and body, helping you release trauma stored in your nervous system through body awareness, movement, and sensation. Unlike traditional talk therapy, it doesn’t just explore memories or emotions. It helps you feel and process them physically. Trauma-informed talk also provides a safe space to gently unpack past experiences and rebuild trust in your boundaries and desires. Both approaches support nervous system regulation, which is essential for healing intimacy-related wounds.

 

Breathwork, Tantra, or Energy Work

Breathwork helps regulate your nervous system and unlock suppressed emotions by using conscious breathing to release physical and emotional tension. Tantra is an ancient practice that combines breath, movement, intention, and presence to awaken sexual energy and deepen connection with yourself and others. Energy work, like Reiki or chakra healing, focuses on unblocking emotional or sexual energy that may be stuck or imbalanced. These practices create space for safety, sensuality, and expansion without pressure or performance.

 

Conscious Self-touch and Self-pleasure

Conscious self-touch is about slowing down and being fully present with your body, offering touch that is loving, curious, and non-judgmental. This can include sensual or sexual touch, yet it’s always guided by self-consent and emotional awareness. When you practice it with intention, self-pleasure becomes a way to reconnect to your desires, needs, and bodily wisdom. With time, you might notice your focus shifts from performance and shame to presence and self-love.

 

Inner Parts: Healing and Emotional Release

Inner parts work involves reconnecting with the younger parts of yourself that may have felt unsafe, unloved, or ashamed around intimacy or expression. Although we were not aware of the impact these events had on us when they happened. They often influence adult sexual beliefs, boundaries, and behaviors. By tending to the inner child with compassion, you create safety and permission to feel, play, and receive again. Emotional release practices can help discharge suppressed pain and open the heart to intimacy. Good examples of such practices are crying, screaming into a pillow, journaling, or creative expression.

 

Conclusion

Sexual healing is a deeply personal journey of reconnecting with your body, reclaiming your pleasure, and releasing emotional wounds that may have disrupted your sense of safety and intimacy. It invites you to explore your sensuality without shame, to heal past trauma with compassion, and to restore trust in your desires and boundaries. Whether through breath, touch, therapy, or energy work, sexual healing creates space for softness, empowerment, and wholeness. 

At its core, it’s not about being fixed. Sexual healing is about remembering that your body is wise, your pleasure is sacred, and you are worthy of a deep, authentic connection with yourself and others. Start your sensual guide at home with this video made to help you get in touch with your pleasure. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Emotional Arousal Definition

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Emotional Arousal Definition: Stop Trauma From Controlling You

 

What is the true emotional arousal definition, and why does it matter in your relationships?

When your heart races and your mind spirals during a fight, that’s emotional arousal in action. It’s the body’s natural alarm system, preparing you to react quickly to danger or threat. Elevated heart rate, shallow breathing, tightened muscles, and a flood of overwhelming thoughts are all signs of arousal taking over.

For trauma survivors, it’s more than stress; it’s the nervous system on overdrive. Past experiences can train the body to respond as if every conflict is life-or-death, even when it isn’t. That’s why small disagreements can feel explosive, and emotional regulation may seem nearly impossible in the moment.

Learning to recognize these signals is the first step toward reclaiming control. With the right tools—grounding techniques, therapy, and conscious communication—you can break the cycle, calm your nervous system, and build relationships that feel safe, steady, and supportive.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

30-Day Intimacy Challenge

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30-Day Intimacy Challenge to Start Today

 

This 30-day intimacy challenge is for you if you’re unsure how to enhance intimacy with your partner. Couples often get stuck in routines, and it can be hard to find time to connect with busy schedules and endless to-do lists. However, intimacy is crucial for relationship success. 

Below, you can find a 30-day intimacy challenge that you can start right away. Send it to your partner and discuss how you both feel about beginning this journey toward being more connected and in love!

 

Setting the Groundwork

Before embarking on this 30-day challenge, please make sure you both have the necessary time, energy, and motivation to see it through. If the timing doesn’t seem right, it might be best to delay the challenge for a few days and then consider pausing it.  Please make an effort to be present each day, even if it’s only for 10 minutes. YES! Every day! 

Approach this challenge with an open mindset and a commitment to setting aside judgment. Creating space for honest expression helps both partners feel heard and valued.

Be sure that your shared space, both emotional and physical, is one where each of you feels safe being vulnerable. This means listening without interruption, responding with empathy, and honoring each other’s experiences.

 

30-Day Challenge To Boost Your Intimacy

To start this challenge, all you’ll need is a few minutes every day. You can expand the activity or do something inspired by it when you have time. For instance, if you’ve shared your favorite memories, and one of them is your first date at a romantic restaurant, why not go there and create a new one?

 

Week 1: Emotional Intimacy

The first week of the challenge is all about building emotional intimacy. This means creating space for honest conversations, tuning into each other’s feelings, and encouraging a relaxed atmosphere where vulnerability is welcomed and respected.

Begin the challenge by expressing appreciation. Each of you should share three things you genuinely love about the other. Focus on qualities, actions, or moments that have had a meaningful impact.

The second day can be dedicated to practicing active listening. Choose a topic or simply talk about your day. One person speaks while the other listens without interrupting, reflecting back on what they heard afterward. Then, switch roles. This helps deepen understanding and presence. You can also write love letters to each other, leave love messages all around the place, etc. 

 

Week 2: Physical Intimacy

Week two of the challenge centers on physical intimacy. This includes not just sexual connection but also everyday touch, affectionate gestures, and sensual experiences that build trust and closeness.

The first day of the second week can be reserved for holding hands. Make a point to hold hands or intertwine legs as much as possible throughout the day, whether you’re sitting together or even watching TV. It’s important to lean into head pats and soft touches without escalating them to private intimacy in the bedroom. This simple act of physical connection helps reinforce a sense of togetherness.

During the second week, you can have one day for longer kisses, a massage night, dancing or showering together, cuddling on the sofa, or a date night if both are a hell yes to bedroom fun, etc. 

 

Week 3: Intellectual & Creative Intimacy

Week three of the challenge invites you to connect through intellectual and creative intimacy. This is about stimulating conversation, learning something new together, and co-creating experiences that spark curiosity and collaboration.

Choose a documentary on a topic that interests you both. After watching, talk about what stood out, what you learned, and how it made you feel. Use it as a springboard for meaningful dialogue. Find an online personality test, such as the Enneagram or the love languages, and take it together. Share your results and reflect on how they show up in your relationship.

You can also work on a small creative activity as a team. This could be painting, cooking a new recipe, designing something, or writing a short story together. The goal isn’t perfection but shared expression and playful connection.

 

Week 4: Spiritual & Future-Focused Intimacy

The final week of the challenge focuses on spiritual intimacy and future-oriented connection. This is a time to reflect on your shared values, create intentional rituals, and dream about the life you want to build together.

Set aside time to meditate, pray, or engage in a spiritual practice that resonates with you both. Whether it’s silent reflection, guided meditation, or spoken prayer, focus on being present and grounded as a couple.

Gather magazines, digital images, or art supplies and build a vision board that represents your shared goals, dreams, and values. Display it somewhere meaningful as a visual reminder of your future together.

You can also describe what a perfect day together would look like five or ten years from now. Include where you are, what you’re doing, how you feel, and what surrounds you. Talk about what small steps you can take now to bring that day closer to reality. 

 

Reflection and Integration

At the end of the 30 days, take time to reflect on your experience as a couple. Talk about what felt meaningful, what surprised you, and which activities brought you closer. Reflection is a powerful way to reinforce growth and celebrate your journey together.

To deepen your insights, consider journaling your thoughts individually or as a couple. Some helpful questions include:

  • What activity had the biggest impact on our connection?
  • How has our communication or closeness changed?
  • What did I learn about my partner that I didn’t know before?
  • What would I like to continue doing or explore more deeply?

Life happens, and it’s completely normal to miss a day or two. Instead of feeling guilty, simply pick up where you left off or extend the challenge by a few days. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence, progress, and intention. Get a deeper dive here with a video that can teach you how! 

 

Conclusion

Intimacy isn’t something you achieve once. It’s something you nurture over time. Consider repeating this challenge each season or adapting it to fit different phases of your relationship. As you grow together, your needs and desires will evolve, and so will the ways you connect.

Prioritizing intimacy means making space for love, understanding, and presence in your daily life. Even small efforts can create lasting change when they come from a place of intention and care. For immediate support and a confidential conversation about your intimate life, schedule an appointment today. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

3 Nonverbal Communication Examples

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3 Nonverbal Communication Examples in Relationships and Friendships

 

Nonverbal communication examples are powerful tools that reveal emotions and shape our connections. In fact, they often speak louder than words. For example, have you ever noticed someone cross their arms in a heated conversation? You probably knew right away that they were shutting down. That’s the power of body language. The way we move, touch, and hold eye contact often sends stronger messages than anything spoken.

In this video, I’ll share 3 nonverbal communication examples that can transform how you connect with friends, partners, and loved ones. When you notice these subtle cues, you can build trust and reduce conflict. In addition, they help create more intimacy in your relationships. Everyday signals—like a reassuring touch, a shift in posture, or steady eye contact—offer valuable clues about how people truly feel.

I’m Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, PhD in Clinical Sexology. I created this video to show you real-life demonstrations of these cues in action. Watch the video below to see how posture, touch, and eye contact can improve the way you communicate. As a result, you’ll learn how to connect more deeply with the people who matter most.

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

What Does Possessive Mean?

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What Does Possessive Mean? Overpossessive Meaning

 

Feeling smothered by a partner or friend who wants to control your every move? That’s overpossessiveness, and it can quietly destroy even the strongest relationships. Understanding the meaning of possessive behavior is the first step in spotting red flags and protecting your emotional well-being.

In this video, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, explains what overpossessiveness looks like, the signs to watch for, and how to set healthy boundaries. From constant check-ins to guilt trips, you’ll learn how to recognize the difference between genuine care and controlling behavior.

Why Watch This Video?

You’ll discover:

  • What “possessive” really means in relationships

  • The warning signs of overpossessive behavior

  • Simple tips to set healthy boundaries and protect your independence

If you’ve ever apologized just for needing space, this video is for you.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Quality Time Love Language Examples

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Quality Time Love Language Examples – What is Quality Time?

Do you ever feel like your relationships are missing that spark? 💫 Sometimes the secret to deeper connections isn’t grand gestures—it’s simply spending meaningful moments together. In this post, we’ll share Quality Time Love Language Examples and how they can improve your friendships, family bonds, and romantic relationships.

Understanding the Quality Time Love Language

The Quality Time Love Language is about presence and attention. For many people, nothing feels more loving than having someone set aside distractions and give them their full focus. Whether it’s listening to a story, sharing a meal, or just sitting together, these small actions build trust and connection.

Simple Quality Time Love Language Examples

If you’re looking for ways to put this into practice, here are a few examples of the Quality Time Love Language:

  • Cook together – Preparing a meal is a simple but powerful bonding experience.

  • Unplug and talk – Turn off devices and give someone your full attention.

  • Take a walk – Even 15 minutes of conversation outdoors can feel intimate.

  • Weekly date night – Dedicated time builds consistency and reassurance.

  • Shared hobbies – Reading, working out, or even gaming together strengthens bonds.

Watch the Full Video

Want to learn more? In this video, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT and trauma expert, explains the Quality Time Love Language, why it matters, and practical ways to bring it into your daily life.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Improve Communication Skills in a Relationship

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How to Improve Communication Skills in a Relationship: Expert Advice

 

Good communication is the heartbeat of every healthy relationship. Without it, misunderstandings grow, conflicts drag on, and intimacy fades. If you’ve been wondering how to improve communication skills in a relationship, you’re not alone. Many couples struggle with expressing themselves clearly or listening with empathy — but the good news is, these skills can be learned.

Why Communication Matters in Relationships

Learning how to communicate effectively in a relationship builds trust, reduces conflict, and deepens emotional intimacy. Couples who work on communication skills often report feeling more connected and respected. Whether you’re navigating everyday stress or bigger challenges, clear communication helps both partners feel heard and supported.

Practical Tips to Improve Communication Skills

Here are a few expert-backed strategies:

  • Practice active listening – Instead of planning your response while your partner speaks, focus on their words and feelings.

  • Use “I” statements – Phrases like “I feel worried when plans change suddenly” prevent blame and open up constructive dialogue.

  • Schedule check-ins – Set aside regular time to discuss feelings, goals, or concerns without distractions.

  • Seek feedback – Ask your partner how you can communicate better, and be open to their perspective.

For a deeper dive, check out Life Coaching and Therapy’s blog on relationship skills where we share practical guidance from licensed relationship therapists.

Final Thoughts

Improving communication in a relationship doesn’t happen overnight, but consistent practice makes a huge difference. Start small, stay patient, and celebrate progress along the way. If you’d like professional support, our therapists at Life Coaching and Therapy specialize in helping couples build lasting, healthy connections.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

How Low EQ Affects Your Romantic Relationships

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How Low EQ Affects Your Romantic Relationships: Boost Your EQ

 

Struggling with constant fights, emotional distance, or mixed signals in your love life? You’re not alone. Many couples face these challenges, but often the hidden factor behind repeated misunderstandings is low emotional intelligence or Low EQ.

When your EQ is low, it becomes harder to identify your own emotions and even harder to recognize the feelings of your partner. This leads to missed cues, defensiveness, or shutting down during conflict. Over time, those small breakdowns can pile up, creating bigger rifts in the relationship. You may feel like you’re talking past each other, replaying the same arguments, or not being truly seen and understood.

Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, breaks down what low EQ really looks like in day-to-day relationships. Maybe it shows up as difficulty expressing yourself without anger. Maybe it’s feeling rejected when your partner needs space. Or maybe it’s the silence after a fight that drags on for days. The truth is, without emotional awareness and regulation, even the strongest attraction can wither under pressure.

The good news? EQ isn’t fixed—it’s a skill you can grow. With practice, you can learn to pause before reacting, listen to understand instead of to respond, and create space for your partner’s emotions without judgment.

In this video, Dr. Amanda shares 3 simple, actionable steps to start boosting your EQ today. From mindful self-check-ins, to active listening techniques, to building empathy through everyday habits—you’ll learn how to connect on a deeper level and transform the way you love.

Your relationship doesn’t have to be stuck in cycles of miscommunication. By strengthening your EQ, you can build more trust, more intimacy, and more resilience in your partnership.

✨ Start now: watch the full video and take the first step toward the love life you truly deserve.

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Is It a Sin to Think About Your Husband Sexually?

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Is It a Sin to Think About Your Husband Sexually? Spouses + Desire

 

Is it a sin to think about your husband sexually?
If you’ve ever wrestled with that question, you’re not alone. Many people of faith wonder where the line lies between sacred desire and sinful thought—especially when those desires are about their own spouse.

Maybe you’ve felt guilt, confusion, or even shame just for having those thoughts. But is it really a sin to think about your husband sexually, even in the context of marriage? That’s exactly what we’re unpacking in today’s video.

As a licensed sex therapist and the founder of Life Coaching and Therapy, I’ve worked with thousands of clients who struggle with sexual shame in committed relationships. They ask, “Is it a sin to feel turned on by my partner? To fantasize? To want more intimacy?”
The truth is, your sexual thoughts about your husband—or wife—aren’t inherently sinful. In fact, they can be deeply connective and emotionally nourishing.

In this episode, I’m diving into the real, raw, and sometimes awkward intersection of faith, desire, and intimacy. You’ll get clarity on whether it’s a sin to think about your husband sexually. And you might be surprised at how freeing the answer can be.

Because when we break down the mixed messages from religion, culture, and upbringing, we begin to see that sexual thoughts in marriage can be not only natural, but holy.

Let’s talk about why desire doesn’t have to be dirty. And how embracing it might be the most sacred thing you do.

 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Types of Intimacy

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Types of Intimacy: Understanding Its Many Layers

 

Most people define intimacy as a physical connection or sex, yet different types of intimacy exist and are equally important for relationship success. Couples are mostly focused on building intimacy in the early stages of their relationship, overlooking the value it has for bringing two partners closer together at all times. 

Nevertheless, intimacy is so much more than being close to each other. It requires trust, vulnerability, and mutual work. Without it, your relationship will likely suffer, leading to arguments, a lack of trust, and possibly a breakup. To avoid this scenario, it’s essential to understand the unique types of intimacy each relationship requires.  

 

  • Emotional Intimacy 

Emotional intimacy is about feeling truly seen, heard, and understood by another person. It’s the quiet sense of safety that builds when you can share your inner world. This process includes your fears, hopes, weird thoughts, and tender spots, all of it without feeling judged. It can show up in a late-night conversation, an unspoken understanding, or the way someone remembers a small detail you mentioned weeks ago. 

Emotional intimacy is based on vulnerability and trust, and it develops when both parties are prepared to lower their defenses a little bit at a time. What makes emotional intimacy so powerful is how it deepens connection without requiring constant physical presence. You can feel emotionally close to someone across the room or across the world because they truly understand you. 

 

  • Physical Intimacy 

Physical intimacy is often mistaken for just sex. However, it is much broader and more nuanced than that. It’s the warmth of a lingering hug, the comfort of holding hands, or the quiet reassurance of a hand on your back during a tough moment. These small, physical gestures create a sense of closeness and safety that words alone can’t always offer. 

Physical intimacy is about connection through touch, and it’s not reserved only for romantic relationships. Friends, family members, and even pets can be sources of this kind of comfort and grounding. What’s important to remember is that physical intimacy looks different for everyone. Some people crave frequent touch, while others feel overwhelmed by it. It all comes down to consent, comfort, and mutual understanding. 

 

  • Intellectual Intimacy

Intellectual intimacy is one of the key types of intimacy that strengthens a relationship through the sharing of thoughts, ideas, and curiosity with someone who genuinely engages with your mind. It’s not about agreeing on everything. It’s about feeling safe to think out loud, challenge each other, and explore new perspectives together. Whether it’s debating a philosophical question, swapping book recommendations, or just musing about life over coffee, intellectual intimacy creates a kind of mental chemistry that can be incredibly satisfying.

This kind of connection often builds slowly, through conversation and shared learning. It thrives in relationships in which you’re not just waiting for your turn to speak. You are truly interested in what the other person thinks and how they think.

 

  • Experiential Intimacy

Experiential intimacy grows when we do things together. Whether it’s tackling everyday routines or sharing big, memorable moments, it’s built in the spaces where words aren’t always necessary, such as cooking side by side, traveling, working on a creative project, or even just walking in comfortable silence. 

These shared experiences create a layer of connection that deepens over time through accumulated memories and mutual engagement with the world. What makes experiential intimacy powerful is how it turns ordinary moments into meaningful ones. It’s not about the activity itself being special. It is about the act of being fully present with someone while doing it. When you’ve built this kind of intimacy, even mundane tasks can feel lighter because you’re in it together.

 

  • Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy is the quiet, powerful bond that forms when two people connect through a shared sense of meaning, purpose, or belief. It can be rooted in religion, personal values, or a mutual curiosity about life’s bigger questions. It’s not limited to praying together or following the same faith, and it can also show up in deep conversations about the universe, nature, death, love, or the soul. 

At its heart, spiritual intimacy is about feeling aligned on a deeper, often unseen level and sensing that your inner worlds are in conversation, even when words fall short. This kind of connection often brings a grounding, almost sacred feeling to relationships. When you share spiritual intimacy with someone, it can feel like you’re walking beside each other on a life path, even if you’re at different stages or hold different beliefs. 

 

  • Creative Intimacy

Creative intimacy is the connection that blossoms when two people engage in the act of creating together, whether it’s making art, music, writing, building something, or even dreaming up wild ideas on a walk. It’s a deeply vulnerable and energizing form of intimacy because creativity often taps into raw, personal expression. 

When someone witnesses or collaborates in that space with care and curiosity, it builds trust and emotional closeness in a uniquely playful, soulful way. What makes creative intimacy special is how it allows both people to be seen in a more unfiltered, imaginative light. It invites experimentation, risk-taking, and sometimes even failure, yet in a shared container where mutual support softens the edges. Whether you’re co-writing a song, painting side by side, or bouncing ideas for a business or story, creative intimacy turns collaboration into a kind of emotional glue.

 

Conclusion 

Intimacy in a romantic relationship goes far beyond physical connection. It’s a layered, evolving bond built through emotional openness, shared experiences, intellectual curiosity, spiritual alignment, and even creative expression. Each type of intimacy offers a different way to feel seen, supported, and connected. 

Building it takes intention through slow conversations, mutual vulnerability, shared values, and quality time spent being truly present with one another. It’s about tuning in to your partner and the ways you grow together. When nurtured with care and consistency, intimacy becomes the quiet strength at the heart of a relationship.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

80/20 Relationship Rule

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80/20 Relationship Rule: Is It Good For Your Relationship? 

 

If you’re not familiar with the term, the 80/20 relationship rule refers to the idea that no partner will meet 100% of all your needs. This principle says to expect your partner to meet 80% of your needs, not to be perfect. The area of your relationship that falls into the remaining 20% will depend on you as a couple. After all, each relationship is different.

We will cover both the advantages and disadvantages of the 80 20 relationship rule to help you decide if you are implementing it or not. Learn why some couples benefit from it, while others stay away and decide what works best for you and your partner. 

 

What’s the 80/20 Relationship Rule? 

The 80/20 relationship rule is a concept adapted from the Pareto Principle, used initially in economics and productivity. The principle states that 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes. In the context of relationships, this idea has taken on a more emotional and personal twist.

The 80/20 rule suggests that in a healthy relationship, your partner is likely to meet approximately 80% of your needs and desires. The remaining 20% refers to the part they don’t meet. This category might include emotional gaps, unmet preferences, or lifestyle differences. This gap often becomes the space where dissatisfaction or temptation can creep in.

Depending on the unmet needs, you can either seek alternatives or work with your partner to meet them. For instance, instead of waiting for your partner to satisfy one of your unmet needs (for instance, adventure through dancing), you could occasionally invite your friends who would enjoy a night of salsa. 

You will need to pay more attention to your relationship if these 20% pertain to a vital component like stability, loyalty, or respect. Depending on how open your partner is to discussing these matters, you could work on it as a couple or seek help from a trusted couple therapist.

In a healthy relationship, a couple is typically able to provide each other with the following:  

  • Emotional safety and support
  • Shared values or long-term goals
  • Respect, loyalty, and commitment
  • Fun, adventure, and spontaneity
  • Enjoyment of each other’s company 
  • Reliable conflict resolution after an argument
  • A sense of desiring individual and mutual growth
  • A desire to give back to the community in similar ways

 

Why the 80/20 Rule Makes Sense

It’s impossible to find a person who can fulfill all our emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual needs. If you expect someone to do that, it will generate discussions, dissatisfaction, and a potential breakup. You won’t meet all your partner’s needs, and they won’t meet yours. Letting go of this expectation can help you as a person and as a couple because it can replace the stress with love and acceptance.

The 80/20 rule encourages gratitude and realistic expectations for both of you. We often forget to be thankful for what we have and focus on what we lack. If one or both of the people in a relationship has unrealistic goals, they often decide to end their relationship instead of working on these goals. 

Ultimately, it all depends on how significant your unfulfilled needs are to you. It would make sense to seriously consider living by this belief system to minimize stress on a beneficial bond!

 

The Risk of Misusing the Rule

This rule has both pros and cons that you should know. Sometimes, certain partners will use the remaining 20% as a justification for infidelity or emotional affairs. You shouldn’t allow someone to hurt you just because they can’t meet your specific needs, meaning there are boundaries.  

When there are unmet needs, certain people will start romanticizing what’s missing and undervaluing what they already have. You may feel frustrated, thinking that if you had that one missing thing, your life would be perfect. In most cases, whether we’ll receive what’s missing is out of our control, and it depends completely on our partner.

 

How to Apply the 80/20 Rule in a Healthy Way

If you’re considering applying the 80/20 rule to your relationship, there are certain steps you should follow. Firstly, you will want to identify your 80%. What are the core values and needs your partner meets? Write them down for clarity and provide explanations and examples where needed. 

Secondly, identify the 20% of needs that your relationship fails to meet.  Can you live without those unmet needs or fulfill them elsewhere? If your relationship lacks deep, meaningful conversations about life, consider engaging in these conversations with your best friend. If you’re lacking physical activity, you can join a hiking group or start going to the gym on your own. 

Find a method to rebalance things with your partner as soon as you begin to feel that something is wrong and that the 80/20 rule has changed. Discuss with them how you feel, ask them the reason for the change, and find a solution together.

 

Is It Right For Every Relationship?

As much as many relationships benefit from the 80/20 rule, it doesn’t immediately imply that it’s the right decision for every couple. Couples struggling due to toxicity, abuse, or emotional neglect may find it challenging to implement this rule. Especially during difficult times, you may find this principle annoying as you have already overgiven; thus, disregard it. 

It’s challenging to be aware of everything that falls under the 80% if the remaining 20% is simply impossible to ignore. Maybe you’ve been okay with your partner not spending a lot of time with you, yet now you feel like you’re drifting apart and want to spend some quality time with them. If quality time is in the 20% of the needs they can’t meet, it might require heart-to-heart conversations or seeking help from a therapist to navigate the entire situation.  

If you’re uncertain whether this rule is supporting or hurting your relationship, ask yourself the following questions: 

  • What are the top qualities I consistently appreciate in my partner?
  • Do I feel emotionally safe, respected, and supported most of the time?
  • Are we aligned in our values, long-term goals, and vision for the future?
  • How often do I laugh, feel joy, or experience meaningful connection with my partner?
  • What is it that I feel is missing, lacking, or frustrating in the relationship?
  • Have I clearly communicated my unmet needs or desires?
  • Does the missing 20% cause emotional harm or undermine the rest of the relationship?
  • Do I have a pattern of focusing on what’s missing in relationships, no matter who I’m with?

These questions can help you learn what you want from your partner and your relationship. You can answer these questions with your partner to hear their perspective. This can help you find the best solution that can support you as a couple to grow and thrive together. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.