Gottman Method Couples Therapy

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Gottman Method Couples Therapy vs. Traditional Marriage Counseling: What’s the Difference?

 

When faced with relationship challenges, many couples choose the Gottman Method Couples Therapy over traditional marriage counseling. John and Julie Gottman created a structured, research-based approach to couples counseling that focuses on strengthening their bond and managing conflict. These practical, emotion-driven strategies have become popular in the last few years, yet how do they differ from traditional couples therapy? 

As someone who is looking to invest in their relationship, you might be interested in learning more about the Gottman Method. This article explores the key differences and benefits of these two approaches and helps you choose the right method for you and your partner. 

 

What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?

Traditional couples therapy often provides space and time for partners to talk about issues or goals. In contrast, Gottman Method Couples Therapy offers practical exercises and tools that couples can use with their therapist and at home.

The Gottmans developed this method after 40 years of research and observation. They found that certain areas of a relationship are essential for a strong bond and healthy conflict management. These areas became the core principles of their emotion-focused model, known as The Sound Relationship House Theory.

The main principles include:

  • Building love maps: Partners learn each other’s inner world to deepen understanding.

  • Nurturing fondness and admiration: Showing appreciation and respect every day.

  • Turning toward each other: Responding positively when your partner seeks connection or support.

  • Letting your partner influence you: Sharing power and allowing mutual influence.

  • Solving solvable problems: Using healthy communication and conflict management skills.

  • Overcoming gridlock: Staying curious and finding ways to move past recurring issues.

  • Creating shared meaning: Building rituals, goals, and a shared sense of purpose.

This method adds structure to traditional therapy. It guides couples on how to build connection and handle conflict, which naturally shows up in every relationship. It also encourages partners to apply these tools outside the therapist’s office and work toward shared goals—rather than just talking about problems.

Structure of Gottman Therapy

If you’ve scheduled your first session, you may wonder what to expect. All you truly need is the motivation to participate and try your best. Some therapists may also ask you to prepare certain information or complete a questionnaire to understand you both better.

You will notice that the therapist follows a clear roadmap. It is typically divided into four phases: assessment, therapeutic interventions, ongoing progress and maintenance, and conclusion.

Assessment Phase 

The first phase allows the therapist to get to know you as individuals and as a couple. In most cases, this phase takes about three sessions. The therapist meets with each of you separately and then together.
Separate sessions give each partner space to speak freely about personal experiences, family history, and concerns.
The final session in this phase focuses on feedback, introducing the Sound Relationship House Theory, and setting clear goals for therapy.

Therapeutic Interventions Phase 

This is the phase where the therapist works on the core principles of the Gottman Method. The couple learns how to build a love map, enhance fondness and admiration, manage conflict, and so on. Depending on the nature of the relationship and the issues the couple is facing, a therapist might decide to focus more on certain principles. 

Ongoing Progress & Maintenance 

The Gottman Method encourages couples to practice new skills between sessions. Your therapist will check in on progress, refine strategies, and introduce you to new tools or ideas if necessary. In this phase, the couple is focused on building long-term resilience and connection instead of reacting to recent events or emotions. 

Ending Therapy

After you’ve applied all that your therapist suggested and started noticing benefits in your relationship, you will be encouraged to continue applying these principles in your everyday life. A therapist could suggest scheduling maintenance check-ins every few months to reinforce positive habits. There is no way to tell how long a couple will be in therapy, as each relationship dynamic and challenge is different. 

 

Benefits of Gottman Method Couples Therapy 

Couples can benefit from this structured approach in many ways, regardless of their motivation to start therapy. If you’re still unclear whether Gottman Method Couples Therapy is the right choice for you and your partner, consider the following benefits:

  • 40 years of research and observation of couples
  • Research shows the Gottman Method can reduce divorce rates
  • Structured therapy offering a clear roadmap for partners
  • Helps partners rediscover friendship, intimacy, and admiration
  • Improves communication skills
  • Manages conflict constructively

 

Conclusion

When couples seek help, the type of therapy they choose can make all the difference. Traditional marriage counseling has long provided a safe space for partners to talk through their struggles, gain emotional support, and explore solutions with the guidance of a therapist. For many couples, this flexible and conversational approach feels natural and valuable.

On the other hand, Gottman Method Couples Therapy offers something unique. It is a structured, research-based framework proven to strengthen relationships over the long term. The Gottman Method equips couples with practical tools they can use daily and outside the therapist’s office by focusing on friendship, healthy conflict management, trust, and shared meaning. It moves beyond crisis management to help partners deepen their bond and build resilience for the future.

Ultimately, the best choice depends on your relationship’s needs and goals. Couples who want evidence-backed roadmaps may gravitate toward the Gottman Method. Those seeking more open-ended dialogue may prefer traditional counseling. What matters most is finding an approach that resonates with both partners and fosters real growth. To book a session today, schedule an appointment here.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training

provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Celebrities With Depression: The Reality Behind Fame

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Celebrities With Depression: The Reality Behind Fame

 

You’ve probably come across an article or two about celebrities with depression. Regardless of how you feel about these celebrities, it’s undeniable that this type of lifestyle can result in a range of mental health consequences. No amount of money or fame can protect you from experiencing anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or any other mental health condition. Exposure to public opinion and harsh online comments can only worsen it for people who have become public figures due to their career choice. 

If you feel like the burden of this lifestyle is becoming too heavy to carry, this article is for you. We’ll discuss reasons why celebrities experience depression, how it affects them and their careers, and how to seek help. 

 

What Leads Celebrities Into Depression? 

It’s not to say that being famous immediately means you have to experience depression as well. However, this lifestyle can expose you to factors you wouldn’t experience in other careers. An accountant will probably not have to deal with thousands of anonymous Internet users sharing opinions about their work performance, looks, or love life. As a celebrity, you run a serious risk of exposing everything you wish to keep private to strangers. 

Becoming wealthy doesn’t mean all your insecurities, childhood traumas, and fears have disappeared. If you were insecure before fame, you will most likely continue feeling the same way. You might even start experiencing the lack of support in your life or from the general public, as many people wrongly assume that rich people don’t deserve to complain about their problems. What they do forget is that professional success doesn’t guarantee well-being. 

Another issue you might encounter is feeling like you shouldn’t complain because you’re enjoying more benefits than ever. However, this guilt will limit your ability to build genuine relationships in your personal and professional life. You can love your job but still be unhappy with its results. 

Going back to our example from above, an accountant needs to be of a certain age before they start working. You have to finish school and get an accounting degree, which means you wouldn’t be able to work underage. In the entertainment industry, we can see actors, models, and singers performing from a very young age. 

The Olsen twins – a hit sensation as infants – growing up under the spotlight! Millie Bobby Brown was 12 years old when she filmed Stranger Things and became famous worldwide. Willow Smith was featured in Billboard’s 21 Under 21 list at 9. Growing up in the spotlight and encountering negative criticism and comments from a young age can significantly impact one’s mental health. 

 

Depression Signs in Celebrities 

As much as depression signs in celebrities will not differ from those of non-famous people, they might be ignored. You might start feeling unmotivated to get out of your bed, yet your busy schedule and so many people depending on you could make you overlook the early signs of depression. Being financially responsible for your family can also lead to being used and everyone else having their needs above yours. 

Here are some signs of depression to help you decide: 

  • Notable weight gain or loss
  • Frequently appearing worn out, disheveled, or withdrawn from your usual look
  • Canceling interviews, concerts, or public appearances
  • Going silent on social media for extended periods
  • Avoiding paparazzi and red carpet events
  • Tearfulness during interviews or unexpected moments
  • Being irritable, impatient, or overly subdued in public
  • Feeling hopelessness or being “empty”
  • Delaying or abandoning projects without clear explanations
  • Turning down roles, tours, or collaborations you were once excited about
  • Struggling to focus, answer questions, or engage in conversations
  • Feeling overwhelmed by fame or life

If you’re experiencing any of these signs, this doesn’t imply that you should be diagnosed with depression. However, it would be best to reach out to a trusted mental health professional who can assess the situation and suggest the best treatment and support for you. 

 

Mental Health Support for Celebrities 

As a celebrity, you will probably want to seek mental health support away from the public eye, which can be challenging sometimes. Luckily, there are many more options now than ten years ago. 

If your schedule is too hectic, you might benefit from visiting a walk-in therapy clinic, which offers confidential visits without long booking waits. If you prefer to find a trusted therapist and work with them more than just once, you can find someone who offers private office therapy. These types of therapists typically work in a secure, non-public location, as their clients are mostly celebrities and public figures. 

If you’d be more comfortable talking to a professional in your home, you can request at-home therapy sessions. A therapist can come to your home or hotel room at an agreed time and provide support and guidance that way. 

You can opt for phone therapy, text therapy, or video therapy, which are the most common remote and flexible options among all clients. Some people find it more comfortable to talk to their therapist over video, while others might feel less pressure with email or text therapy. 

Depending on the amount of your free time and the seriousness of your condition, consider a VIP mental health center or a retreat gateway. Mental health practices such as these offer anonymity and personalized text programs, while retreats can differ in time, audience type, and theme. 

 

Your Healing Can Inspire Others

As a public person, you can help bring awareness to depression and mental health issues in celebrities. You can even inspire your fanbase to take better care of themselves. To heal and find joy, ask for help and speak up if you need to. Selena Gomez has spoken on this topic many times, G-Eazy discusses his mental health in his music, and Jim Carrey has spoken openly about emotional turmoil. 

The point is that how you feel is nothing to be ashamed of. Once you start taking proper care of yourself, you will have more capacity to love and help others. It will also positively impact your career and prepare you for a fulfilling future. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Define Parasocial Relationships

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How to Define Parasocial Relationships & How They Impact Us

 

If you’re uncertain how to define parasocial relationships, think of them as deep connections towards influencers, celebrities, or fictional characters. Feeling a certain connection to a person you don’t actually know is not new, although many assume it resulted from social media. Before, people felt that type of connection with fictional characters from their favorite books or with musicians they saw perform. In the 1940s, Frank Sinatra made women feel deep connections without knowing him personally. They didn’t know him personally, yet his persona was more than enough for thousands of women across the US to feel that deep connection to him. 

Unlike romantic relationships, parasocial bonds are one-sided—only one person invests emotional energy. This is why such a type of relationship needs to be clearly distinguished from all other relationship types we build during our lifetime. This article explores how parasocial relationships evolve in the digital age and what to remember.

 

Parasocial Relationships Then & Now

It’s true that parasocial relationships were never discussed as much as they are now. However, this term was first coined in the 1950s by Horton and Wohl after the appearance of television. They saw TV audiences forming intimacy with people they had never met.

Parasocial relationships have remained largely unchanged. Parasocial ties are one-sided emotional bonds where the other person remains unaware. This lack of reciprocity occurs because the individuals targeted by this one-sided connection are those who are well known to larger audiences. Today, this can be anyone with public exposure, such as influencers, actors, musicians, artists, podcast hosts, comedians, etc. 

The most common type of parasocial relationship is fans with their celebrity. Fans follow celebrities online, consume their content, read updates, and discuss them.

 

Why Do Parasocial Relationships Form?

If you’ve never been in a parasocial relationship, you might be curious about what causes someone to form such a unique bond with another person. As social creatures, we all feel the need to belong and connect with others. Some people don’t find building relationships easy in their lives, so they turn to celebrities to form a certain type of connection with them. When you feel connected to someone you don’t know personally, you can imagine them however you want. You can even forget that they’re normal human beings with flaws. If that’s the case, a parasocial relationship here is a form of defense mechanism.

It can also happen that a person projects their ideals onto the object of their desire. For instance, you might see someone fighting for a cause you are passionate about, and your admiration for their courage may lead to the development of feelings for them. In today’s era, parasocial relationships are also more common because of the accessibility to public figures. Social media blurs boundaries between public and private and familiar and unfamiliar. Just by following someone on Instagram and seeing their content, you could be under the impression you know them and therefore start feeling connected to them. 

 

Benefits of Parasocial Relationships

Although parasocial relationships are unique, they offer certain benefits to people experiencing this type of connection with a public figure. Admiring their values, art, or self-expression can give emotional comfort during hard times.

Your role models can also inspire or motivate you. What you admire in them helps you define your values and goals. Admiring an artist’s activism can inspire you to create positive change too. You might volunteer, research, or take action to feel you’re making a difference. After all, celebrities and influencers are not the only ones who have an impact on other people’s lives. 

Parasocial relationships can create community through fan groups or online forums. It’s always nice to connect with people who share the same interests. 

 

Potential Downsides of Parasocial Relationships 

Just like there are upsides to parasocial relationships, you will have to be aware of potential downsides as well. One of the issues is having unrealistic expectations of relationships. A one-sided emotional engagement can provide limited results, often making one uncomfortable when faced with all the challenges of dating a person in real life. Your beloved celebrity cannot hurt your feelings by not showing up on the first date, cheating on you, or leaving you. Similarly, they cannot provide you with the level of intimacy and care a person in your life would. 

Some parasocial relationships can also result in emotional dependency or obsession. You might become so connected to this person that you don’t feel the need to engage with people in your world or do things you used to love. If you notice that all you care about is them, it would be best to immediately reduce the time spent on checking their social media accounts or reading the news. 

 

Conclusion

Parasocial relationships can be very beneficial and inspiring if you maintain a healthy balance. You might learn what you are passionate about, what qualities you look for in a romantic partner, and so many other things. We’re living in a digital age in which we are learning so much about celebrities, influencers, and artists apart from their work, so it’s not so unusual to develop a certain connection to them. What matters most is to find people who are able to meet your emotional and romantic needs in person if you want to be in a relationship. Who knows, maybe they, too, admire the same person as you do!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

le=”font-weight: 400;”>Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy, and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.</p>

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack

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How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack

 

Knowing how to react properly when someone is having a panic attack can be a lifesaver, yet most of us are not aware of what would actually help in that moment. A panic attack is a sudden episode of severe fear that triggers intense physical reactions in a situation that is not dangerous or harmful in any way. Nevertheless, panic attacks can be very frightening. A person experiencing this could think they are losing control, having a heart attack, or even dying.

Imagine your friend or a coworker experiencing a panic attack. What would you do? Being calm and supportive can help tremendously when you’re close to a person having this experience. After reading our detailed guide, you will know exactly what to do when someone is having a panic attack. 

 

Recognizing the Signs of a Panic Attack

First off, you don’t need to experience what it’s like to have a panic attack to be able to help someone go through such an experience. Although they are not rare, it’s possible that you can live your entire life without having one, while someone close to you has experienced it on several occasions already. 

Certain signs can indicate to you that your friend, partner, coworker, or anyone else is having a panic attack at the moment:

  • Rapid heartbeat or palpitations
  • Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • Chest pain or tightness
  • Sweating
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Feeling hot or having chills
  • Dizziness, lightheadedness, or faintness
  • Nausea or stomach discomfort
  • Tingling or numbness in hands, feet, or face
  • Feeling of choking or throat tightness
  • Overwhelming sense of fear, dread, or impending doom
  • Feeling detached from reality or from oneself
  • Sudden urge to escape the situation
  • Inability to answer questions in a clear and focused way

When discussing the signs of a panic attack, it’s important to remember that they don’t last long. Typically, a panic attack will appear suddenly, without any obvious warning. In the first ten minutes, the person will probably experience the peak of the panic attack, and its signs should start diminishing until they disappear entirely. The duration of panic attacks can be anywhere from a few minutes to 20 or 30 minutes. 

 

Helping a Person Having a Panic Attack

Being close to a person experiencing a panic attack might seem frightening, yet you will need to do your best to stay calm and provide support. How you handle this situation can have a tremendous impact on the person having the panic attack. 

 

1.Provide Stability Instead of Fear

There’s no doubt that you’ll be affected by such an experience; however, it’s crucial to provide stability and reassurance instead of making things worse. When you approach the person having a panic attack, make sure you speak slowly and gently. Raising your voice can only trigger them and push them further into this state of panic. Also, validate their feelings and show them you’re compassionate. This will take off the pressure and allow them to feel safe with you. 

 

2.Guide Them to Focus on Breathing

The best way to combat signs of a panic attack is through breathing. Guiding the person to do simple breathing exercises with you can calm their nervous system and help them feel more present. Suggest that they inhale and exhale slowly, while you count the seconds. Breathe with them and repeat this exercise several times until you notice they are starting to feel calmer. Slowing the exhale is especially important as calm breathing helps regulate the nervous system, which is crucial for someone experiencing a panic attack. 

 

3.Use Grounding Techniques

Once you’ve done the breathing exercises and you notice that the peak of the panic attack is gone, you should practice grounding techniques with them. Ask them to name five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste. While doing this exercise, you can help them focus on the temperature of the floor, the material of the chair, the fabric of their clothes, etc. 

 

4. Give Them Space if Needed

Before you start doing any of the breathing or grounding exercises, make sure you’re aware of their personal boundaries. If a person seems to struggle or is nervous because of the techniques or support you’re providing, stop on time and do something that will help calm them down. Look for signs they may need less from you, whether it’s fewer words or fewer activities. Don’t over-question them and allow them to have a moment to simply breathe and become aware of what’s happening. 

 

5. Stay With Them Until They Recover

Some panic attacks last longer than others. Even if you’ve supported this person during a panic attack, it doesn’t necessarily imply that the next one will be the same. A person can experience different symptoms or have a longer or shorter attack period. Regardless of the duration, it’s important to stay with them even when you start noticing the symptoms are disappearing. Ask them if they need something like a glass of water or to stretch their body. Maybe they will want to talk about what just happened, or they will want you to sit with them in silence. Whatever it is, make sure you stay and show them you care. 

 

When to Seek Medical Help

Although it’s crucial to provide adequate and valuable support to the person having a panic attack, it’s best to seek medical help if you notice their symptoms don’t subside. If you suspect it is a medical emergency, don’t wait for more than a few minutes. 

Some people might confuse a heart attack for a panic attack, so it’s best to act quickly. Ask the person to list all the symptoms they are experiencing. This can help you have a better idea of the situation you’re encountering. 

If you’re not alone, ask the closest person to call the ambulance, while you ensure that the person is staying conscious and is focused on their breathing. Your help in such moments can be crucial, and it can decrease the intensity or duration of the panic attack. That is why it’s important to understand what the person is going through and which techniques to apply.

If you are suffering with anxiety, get the anxiety video for a step by step guide to help at home! 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

The Danger of Being a People Pleaser

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The Danger of Being a People Pleaser

 

Saying yes to everything and everyone might seem kind, yet few people realize the danger of being a people pleaser.

Who is a people pleaser? Someone who seeks approval and affection above all else, often at the expense of their own needs and desires.

Do you always say yes to avoid conflict or rejection? If so, and you want to change, there are practical techniques to minimize your need to please others. But before learning how to fix this pattern, it’s important to understand how people pleasing affects you and those around you.

Understanding People Pleasing

People pleasing often develops from deeper psychological and emotional patterns. Many learn it in childhood, especially in homes where love and approval were conditional. If a child’s needs were ignored or praised only when they were obedient, they may grow up believing safety comes from being agreeable and accommodating.

Emotional neglect or abuse can strengthen the belief that worth is tied to being useful or likable. Someone with low self-esteem and fear of rejection may use pleasing others as protection from being left alone.

Society also plays a role. In cultures that reward politeness and self-sacrifice, being agreeable often becomes a predictable path to praise and acceptance. Acts of kindness are not the problem, what matters is whether you consider your own needs first.

Signs of People Pleasing

You may be a people pleaser if you:

  • Say “yes” when you want to say “no”

  • Feel guilty about setting boundaries

  • Constantly worry about what others think

  • Avoid conflict even when issues need to be addressed

  • Feel responsible for others’ happiness

  • Overcommit and burn out

  • Struggle to express your real opinions or desires

Kindness is different from people pleasing. Kindness is rooted in love, generosity, and choice. People pleasing is driven by fear of rejection. While kindness nurtures both giver and receiver, people pleasing often ends in resentment, exhaustion, and loss of authenticity.

Consequences of People Pleasing

Constantly putting others first comes with consequences. The severity depends on how long you’ve been doing it and how far you go.

Loss of Identity and Boundaries

Many people pleasers eventually notice they have no clear sense of self. Always being available to others leads to burnout and the painful realization that they’ve neglected their own needs. Setting boundaries for the first time can feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for growth.

Stress and Exhaustion

Trying to make everyone happy is draining. People pleasers often carry chronic stress, emotional fatigue, and even resentment in relationships. Eventually, pleasing others becomes a chore. When you ask for change, others may resist because they’re used to your support. Breaking the pattern is tough, but worth it.

Loss of Authenticity

Over time, people pleasers lose touch with who they are. Small joys may feel pointless compared to helping others. Worse, people pleasers often attract toxic or manipulative personalities who exploit their need to give. Get more ideas on how to connect.

 

How to Break Free from People Pleasing? 

Breaking free starts with self-awareness. Ask yourself:

  • Why do I need to please others?

  • What do I gain from it?

Journaling, therapy, or inner child work can help uncover the early experiences that shaped these habits.

Learn to Say “No”

Saying no without guilt is a powerful skill. At first, it may feel uncomfortable, but each honest “no” reinforces your right to honor your time, energy, and well-being.

Practice Boundaries and Assertiveness

Boundaries aren’t about rejection. They’re clear agreements about what you can and cannot offer. Communicating calmly and directly allows others to understand your needs while protecting your emotional health.

 

Conclusion

To break free from people pleasing, reconnect with your values and desires. Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? What do I want from life without considering others’ expectations?

This process requires accepting discomfort. People pleasers often fear being disliked or seen as “difficult.” But real growth comes when you stop seeking universal approval. Freedom lies in embracing imperfection and choosing authenticity over perfection.

Are you ready to take the first step? If you’d like support, consider scheduling a session today.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Impulsive Buying

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Impulsive Buying: How to Stop Yourself From Buying Things You Don’t Need

 

Impulsive buying refers to purchasing things without any plan or need. An impulsive buyer will buy something because it caught their eye, made them feel good, or triggered a specific emotional response. In other words, impulsive buying refers to purchases that we are not rational about. That said, we’re all guilty of buying things we actually don’t need. 

Impulsive buying refers more to people who can’t resist buying something. They will make more impulsive purchasing decisions than rational ones, which can ultimately affect their personal finances. Before we suggest tools that can help you stop making this type of purchasing decision, it’s important to take a look at the reasons why some people become impulsive buyers. 

 

Causes of Impulsive Buying Behavior 

A mix of emotional triggers, psychological tendencies, and environmental cues often drives impulsive buying behavior. On an emotional level, people tend to shop impulsively when they are feeling stressed, bored, or seeking a quick mood boost. Purchasing something new can release dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical, offering instant gratification and a temporary emotional lift. 

This makes impulsive buying appealing during moments of emotional vulnerability or when someone is trying to cope with negative feelings. Some people even have a natural tendency toward lower self-control or higher materialism, making them more prone to spontaneous purchases.

Social media amplifies this effect through influencer endorsements and viral trends, which create a sense of urgency and FOMO (fear of missing out). When combined with quick access to credit, one-click purchases, and constant exposure to advertising, the modern shopping environment makes it increasingly difficult for consumers to resist the urge to buy on impulse. 

 

Impulsive Buying Signs 

However, not every person who shops regularly is an impulsive buyer. To understand the true motivation behind your purchasing decision, honestly answer the following questions:

  • Do you often buy things you didn’t plan to purchase when shopping?
  • Do sales, discounts, or “limited time offers” encourage you to make quick purchases?
  • Have you ever bought something just because it looked appealing at the moment, even if you didn’t need it?
  • Do you sometimes regret purchases shortly after making them?
  • Do you shop to feel better when you’re sad, bored, stressed, or anxious?
  • Do you frequently buy items online late at night or while distracted?
  • Are there items in your home with tags still on or things you’ve never used?
  • Do you tend to justify unnecessary purchases by saying, “I deserve this” or “It was on sale”?
  • Do you find it difficult to stick to a shopping list or budget?
  • Have you ever hidden a purchase from someone or felt embarrassed about spending?
  • Do you buy things simply because others have them (influencers, friends, trends)?
  • Do you often check shopping apps or browse stores without needing anything specific?
  • Do you occasionally use credit or buy-now-pay-later options for purchases that are NOT urgent? Do you do this without fully considering the long-term costs?

 

How to Stop Buying Impulsively 

If you’ve answered most of our questions positively, it would be good to consider implementing a strategy that will help you make more rational decisions when buying things. Luckily, a range of such techniques exists, allowing you to try each of them and see which one is most efficient. 

 

1. Create a 24-Hour Rule

Before making a non-essential purchase, wait 24 hours (or even 72 hours for bigger items over $200+). This delay helps break the emotional urge and allows you to assess whether you genuinely need or want the item.

 

2. Shop with a List 

Always bring a written or digital list when shopping (online or in person). If it’s not on the list, please refrain from purchasing it. This keeps you focused and prevents wandering into temptation zones.

 

3. Use the “Cost in Time” Technique

Ask yourself, “How many hours of work is this worth?” Framing a purchase in terms of time rather than money can shift your perspective and reduce impulse decisions.

 

4. Unsubscribe and Unfollow

Unsubscribe from marketing emails, brand newsletters, and social media influencers or accounts that frequently trigger your spending urges. The less you’re exposed to shopping triggers, the fewer chances you’ll buy on impulse.

 

5. Remove Saved Payment Info

Delete saved credit card information from websites and apps to make it harder to buy impulsively. Adding extra steps to complete a purchase allows you more time to rethink it.

 

6. Track Your Spending

Use a budget app or journal to record every purchase. When you start seeing patterns in your spending habits, especially on impulse buys, it becomes easier to recognize and stop them.

 

7. Identify Emotional Triggers

Notice when you’re tempted to buy impulsively. Is it when you’re stressed, bored, or feeling low? Once you recognize the emotional root, find healthier coping mechanisms (like walking, journaling, or calling a friend).

 

Practicing Conscious Consumption

Practicing conscious consumption means making intentional, informed, and values-driven decisions about what you buy, how much you buy, and where your purchases come from. It’s about shifting from automatic or emotional spending to thoughtful, purposeful choices that align with your personal ethics, needs, and long-term goals. 

Rather than accumulating items out of habit, social pressure, or instant gratification, conscious consumers pause to ask questions like, Do I really need this? Who made it? What impact does this purchase have on the environment or the people involved in producing it? This mindset encourages quality over quantity and supports sustainability, ethical labor, and financial well-being.

In everyday life, conscious consumption can take the form of purchasing local or secondhand products, supporting brands with transparent practices, or simply purchasing fewer items overall. It entails becoming more aware of the marketing tactics and emotional triggers that lead to impulsive spending, as well as learning to pause and reflect before making a purchase.

This will not only help you cut down on waste and clutter, but it may also make the things you do choose to own more fulfilling and meaningful. In the end, mindful consumption gives you back control over your expenditures and helps you match your financial practices with your priorities and deeper values.

 

Conclusion

In conclusion, impulsive buying can quietly drain your finances, clutter your space, and leave you with regret. With awareness and a few practical strategies, you can take control. 

By pausing before purchases, identifying emotional triggers, and aligning your spending with your actual values, you’ll stop buying things you don’t need and cultivate a more intentional, satisfying relationship with money.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Quality Time Love Language Examples

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Quality Time Love Language Examples – What is Quality Time?

Do you ever feel like your relationships are missing that spark? 💫 Sometimes the secret to deeper connections isn’t grand gestures—it’s simply spending meaningful moments together. In this post, we’ll share Quality Time Love Language Examples and how they can improve your friendships, family bonds, and romantic relationships.

Understanding the Quality Time Love Language

The Quality Time Love Language is about presence and attention. For many people, nothing feels more loving than having someone set aside distractions and give them their full focus. Whether it’s listening to a story, sharing a meal, or just sitting together, these small actions build trust and connection.

Simple Quality Time Love Language Examples

If you’re looking for ways to put this into practice, here are a few examples of the Quality Time Love Language:

  • Cook together – Preparing a meal is a simple but powerful bonding experience.

  • Unplug and talk – Turn off devices and give someone your full attention.

  • Take a walk – Even 15 minutes of conversation outdoors can feel intimate.

  • Weekly date night – Dedicated time builds consistency and reassurance.

  • Shared hobbies – Reading, working out, or even gaming together strengthens bonds.

Watch the Full Video

Want to learn more? In this video, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT and trauma expert, explains the Quality Time Love Language, why it matters, and practical ways to bring it into your daily life.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Solo Polyamory 101

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Solo Polyamory 101: Guide to Loving Without Losing Yourself

 

If you’re new to the polyamory lifestyle, you might assume that traditional polyamory and solo polyamory are the same thing. However, there are quite a few differences between these two polyamory models. Solo polyamorists usually do not seek to merge their lives with a primary partner through shared living, finances, or traditional relationship milestones like marriage. 

Do you want to learn more about solo polyamory? Start creating a life that celebrates your love for others by finding all the necessary guidelines here. 

Solo Polyamory Explained

Solo polyamory is a relationship style where someone engages in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships without seeking a primary partner or traditional couple-based structure. Unlike hierarchical polyamory, where one relationship might precede others, solo poly people often prioritize their independence, autonomy, and personal freedom. That doesn’t mean they avoid deep emotional connections. It just means they choose not to center their life around a single romantic relationship.

Many solo polyamorous individuals value living alone, making independent life decisions, and maintaining clear personal boundaries, even while being involved in loving, committed relationships. It’s about designing relationships that fit your life rather than molding your life to fit a relationship.

Some people choose to be solo polyam because they haven’t found the right nesting partner, while for many others, it is a deliberate lifestyle choice. It’s not about avoiding intimacy. You want to relate without merging identities or losing selfhood. The core idea is to love others deeply and belong to yourself first.

Key Principles of Solo Polyamory

Radical honesty and clear communication are two main pillars of solo polyamory. Because there are no default scripts or traditional structures to fall back on, solo polyamorists must openly articulate their needs, boundaries, and intentions with each partner. Emotional responsibility is another core value. Are you able to own your feelings without projecting them onto others or relying on partners to make you feel whole?

Instead of being assumed, relationships in solo polyamory are consciously designed. Everything is being carefully considered, from cohabitation and marriage to shared finances. Each connection is shaped intentionally, based on what works for the people involved. Independence is central in living arrangements, money, and identity. Solo polyamorists prioritize a strong sense of self, so they often choose not to have a primary or nesting partner. This isn’t about avoiding intimacy for them. It is about creating space for personal growth, freedom, and self-directed love while still showing up with care and presence in relationships.

Transitioning from Hierarchical Polyamory to Solo Polyamory

Transitioning from hierarchical polyamory to solo polyamory requires a mindset shift and revision of your relationship structure. Polyamory, often intertwined with power exchange relationships, can involve hierarchical dynamics, like having a primary partner and living together most nights. In solo polyamory, an individual often likes to live alone and have the personal autonomy of non-hierarchical connections. You will have to be clear if you were nesting with someone, and why you’re making the shift. Are you craving more independence, emotional space, or a lifestyle that reflects your values better?

Next, you will have to have an honest conversation with your current partners. Explain to all your partners your evolving needs and what solo polyamory means to you. While you’re talking, make sure you emphasize that it’s not about loving them less, yet it’s about loving yourself differently. Be aware that solo polyamory may be unfamiliar to someone coming from a couples-based polyamorous setup, which can often lead to uncertainty about their place in your life. It is normal to expect some discomfort during and after the conversation. Be firm about the necessary boundaries, whether these are separate living arrangements, more time alone, or rebalancing emotional expectations.

Practically, prioritize your routines, goals, and identity outside of your relationships. Learn to sit in your own company, and invest in your chosen family, friends, and self-care practices. You’re not withdrawing love; you’re decentralizing it.

Solo polyamory isn’t about being single with benefits. It’s about choosing to belong to yourself first while still showing up fully in love, connection, and care. The shift takes courage, yet it can be deeply empowering.

Avoid These Mistakes While Being a Solo Polyamorist

Being a solo polyamorist comes with freedom, while it also requires intentionality. One common mistake is avoiding emotional depth under the guise of independence. Solo polyamory doesn’t mean detaching from intimacy. It means relating without sacrificing autonomy. Another misstep is failing to communicate clearly. Just because you’re not seeking a primary partner doesn’t mean others can read your boundaries or expectations.

Avoid leading partners along by downplaying your solo identity. Please be clear about what you can offer and what you are not seeking. Also, don’t isolate yourself. Solo doesn’t mean alone in the world. Take care of your friendships and become as active as needed in your community. 

Lastly, don’t confuse personal freedom with avoiding accountability. Even without hierarchy, your actions still affect others. Ethical solo polyamory means showing up with honesty, compassion, and care.

Benefits and Challenges

Solo polyamory offers a strong sense of freedom and flexibility. Without the obligations of a primary partnership or shared household, solo polyamorists have the space to prioritize personal goals, self-growth, and multiple connections on their terms. This autonomy allows for deep, intentional relationships without compromising independence. However, the path isn’t without challenges. 

In a world that frequently prioritizes coupledom and hierarchy, choosing not to follow traditional models can result in feelings of loneliness or misinterpretation. It can also be difficult to find partners who understand or respect the solo poly approach. To stay grounded, many solo polyamorists develop strong self-care practices, like journaling, therapy, or meditation, and cultivate chosen family or community connections for emotional support. 

A support system is essential, both within and outside of romantic relationships. Navigating solo polyamory means balancing freedom with vulnerability and solitude with meaningful connection.

Conclusion

Solo polyamory is a relationship philosophy of autonomy, intentionality, and self-trust. It challenges traditional ideas about love, commitment, and success by asking: What if you could build your relationships around your life, instead of the other way around? While it offers the freedom to explore deep connections without merging identities, it also requires emotional maturity, honest communication, and a strong sense of self. With solo polyamory, you are not avoiding intimacy or commitment; you are redefining them on your terms. 

For those who value independence, personal growth, and diverse expressions of love, solo polyamory can be a deeply fulfilling path. Like any relationship style, solo polyamory will come with challenges. With time, you can expect clarity, community, and care because it allows you to love freely without losing yourself. Whether you’re curious, questioning, or already living solo poly, remember: there’s no right or wrong way to love, only the way that honors your truth and respects others in the process. If you want to talk to a coach or therapist who understands your situation, make an appointment! 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Emotionally Focused DBT Therapy Guide

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Emotionally Focused DBT Therapy Guide

 

Emotionally focused DBT therapy uses the principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy to focus on understanding and managing emotions. We all know that our feelings can be powerful, overwhelming, and sometimes confusing. Especially when they lead to patterns of behavior that feel out of control or self-destructive. That’s where emotionally focused DBT comes in. This therapeutic approach combines the emotional depth of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with the structure and skills-based framework of DBT, offering a compassionate yet practical path to emotional healing. 

Whether you’re struggling with intense mood swings, relationship conflicts, or difficulty managing painful feelings. This guide is designed to help you understand the emotional roots of your behavior and learn practical tools to navigate them with greater awareness and balance. 

 

Understanding DBT and EFT

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a structured, evidence-based approach developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan to help individuals who struggle with intense emotions, self-destructive behaviors, and unstable relationships. DBT blends cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness and Eastern philosophical principles. Its core components include four skill areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. 

DBT aims to help people build emotional resilience, tolerate discomfort without impulsive reactions, and create more balanced, fulfilling relationships. It’s a convenient form of therapy often taught through structured group sessions, individual therapy, and skills training.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), on the other hand, is grounded in attachment theory and centers around the idea that emotional bonds are at the core of human functioning. Originally developed for couples, EFT helps individuals recognize and reshape emotional patterns that stem from early attachment wounds. Often resulting in fear, insecurity, or withdrawal in relationships. 

Instead of focusing solely on behavior or logic, EFT guides people into their deeper emotional experiences, helping them express vulnerable feelings in a safe, structured way. This creates room for healing, connection, and emotional clarity. While DBT offers the tools to manage overwhelming emotions, EFT helps uncover and transform the emotional roots that drive them, making combining the two especially powerful for long-term healing.

 

Core Components of Emotionally Focused DBT

Developing emotional awareness begins with learning to name and validate your emotions without judgment. This involves recognizing feelings as they arise, allowing them to exist without trying to suppress, fix, or avoid them. By doing so, you begin to break the cycle of emotional suppression or avoidance, which often leads to reactive or self-sabotaging behaviors.

A key part of emotionally focused work is identifying emotional wounds rooted in early attachment experiences. These unhealed scars frequently impact our current relationships with others, influencing our behaviors, emotional reactions, and expectations in relationships. By bringing awareness to these patterns, we can begin to heal and form more secure, authentic connections.

DBT provides a structured set of skills to help manage emotional intensity and build resilience. Mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts and emotions without reacting to them, allowing for more intentional responses. 

 

Practical Tools and Exercises 

You can begin deepening your emotional awareness through sample journaling prompts designed to help you explore your inner experiences, triggers, and patterns. These prompts encourage honest reflection and give structure to processing complex emotions.

In moments of emotional overwhelm, mindfulness-based grounding techniques can be used to anchor yourself in the present. These practices help calm the nervous system and create space between you and your reactions.

Using emotion tracking worksheets allows you to monitor your emotional shifts throughout the day, identify recurring patterns, and better understand how your feelings are connected to specific situations or thoughts.

Another helpful tool is relationship mapping, which involves visually outlining the emotional dynamics in your relationships. This can help you recognize emotional triggers, unmet needs, and attachment patterns that influence your behavior and reactions with others.

Other tools and exercises you might find useful are:

  • Asking yourself what you need throughout the day
  • Using an emotion wheel to identify your emotions more accurately 
  • Write a letter to yourself as if you were feeling this certain emotion
  • Create an emotional timeline for important events in your life to spot patterns
  • Write or speak a dialogue between your emotionally reactive self and your wise mind
  • Write a letter from your future healed self to your current self

 

Common Challenges and How to Work Through Them 

One common challenge during emotionally focused DBT therapy is emotional overwhelm, which can arise as you begin to explore deep-rooted feelings. It’s important to pace yourself and use grounding techniques to stay regulated while working through difficult emotions.

Another obstacle is resistance to vulnerability. Opening up emotionally can feel risky, especially if you’ve experienced rejection or trauma in the past. Building trust, either with yourself or your therapist, is key to gently lowering those defenses over time.

You may also encounter progress plateaus, where growth feels stalled or old patterns resurface. This phase is a normal part of the healing process and often signals a need to revisit your goals, refresh your coping strategies. Or give yourself grace as you integrate new emotional habits.

Lastly, it’s essential to know when to seek professional support. If self-guided work becomes too intense or if you’re dealing with trauma, suicidal thoughts, or chronic emotional dysregulation, working with a licensed therapist can provide the safety, structure, and expertise needed for deeper healing.

 

Conclusion

Emotionally focused DBT therapy offers a powerful and compassionate approach to emotional healing by combining the structure of dialectical behavior therapy with the depth of emotionally focused therapy. This integrated method teaches practical skills for managing intense emotions and helps uncover the underlying emotional wounds that often drive reactive behavior and relationship struggles. By learning to name and validate emotions, build mindfulness, and understand your attachment patterns, you can begin to shift out of survival mode and into a space of conscious, connected living.

Healing through this method takes time, patience, and courage, yet it is deeply transformative. As you learn to respond to emotions rather than react, set boundaries with clarity, and reconnect with your core needs, you’ll begin to experience greater emotional stability and more fulfilling relationships. Whether you’re working with a therapist or exploring these tools on your own, remember that emotional regulation is not about becoming emotionless. It’s about building a wiser, more balanced relationship with your feelings. Start your journey today.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Psychotherapist vs Psychologist

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Psychotherapist vs Psychologist: What Is the Difference? 

 

Are you here after realizing you’re confused about the psychotherapist vs psychologist dilemma? Trust us, you’re not the only one. Many people confuse these two professions because they both provide therapeutic services to address mental health and emotional well-being. However, they have distinct areas of focus and training. 

Psychologists will often have advanced doctoral degrees and training in research, assessment, and diagnosing mental disorders. Psychotherapists specialize in talk therapy and counseling, often focusing on addressing specific issues like stress, emotional turmoil, or relationship problems. To help you better understand the differences between a psychotherapist and a psychologist and which one to choose, we’ve prepared this article for you.

 

What Is a Psychotherapist? 

A psychotherapist is a mental health professional who provides psychotherapy to help their clients address emotional, psychological, and behavioral issues. Psychotherapy is also known as talk therapy. You can seek help from a psychotherapist on an individual, couple, or group level. 

Licensed marriage and family therapists, licensed clinical social workers, and licensed mental health counselors are among the various types of psychotherapists. Psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, and social workers can all work as psychotherapists, depending on their specific training and specialization.

Psychotherapists use different techniques to help their clients, such as identifying self-limiting beliefs and thoughts, processing painful emotions, and learning new coping mechanisms. 

Psychotherapy is a collaborative process in which both sides need to work together if the client is to obtain positive results. A psychotherapist cannot solve your issues or live your life for you. They will listen to you, provide a range of therapeutic techniques, and guide you toward healing. Think of them as a part of your support system.

 

What Is a Psychologist? 

A psychologist can be a psychotherapist, yet a psychotherapist is not always a psychologist. A psychologist is a mental health professional who studies and understands the human mind and behavior and has a doctorate degree in psychology. They help you cope with mental health challenges and relationship issues and often use psychological evaluations.

A psychologist will listen to you, evaluate, and diagnose mental health conditions. This means that if you’re looking for assessment tools for anxiety, depression, or an eating disorder, you should choose a psychologist over a psychotherapist. 

Similar to a psychotherapist, a psychologist will help people cope with life challenges by helping them manage life events. Many psychologists also engage in research to advance our understanding of the mind and behavior. In terms of work settings, psychologists can work in schools, hospitals, private practices, and other environments like consulting.

 

Comparing Psychotherapists to Psychologists

When it comes to understanding the Psychotherapist vs Psychologist debate, one of the first major differences lies in their education. In the United States, to obtain a license, a psychologist must hold a doctorate in psychology. A psychotherapist, on the other hand, can be a counselor, social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist trained in clinical psychotherapy. They usually have a master’s degree or above in mental health fields and must also pass an exam. To practice, a psychotherapist needs state licensure and supervised clinical experience. They are typically licensed based on their specific discipline—LPC, LCSW, LMFT, etc.

Another important distinction in the Psychotherapist vs Psychologist comparison is the scope of practice. Psychologists can diagnose mental health conditions, though they typically cannot prescribe medication. They also utilize various psychological tests, including personality assessments and neuropsychological evaluations. Psychotherapists, while also providing therapy, generally do not conduct formal assessments or diagnoses unless licensed to do so within their specific field.

So if you’re considering therapy but can’t decide between a psychotherapist and a psychologist, remember that their approaches differ. Psychotherapists focus heavily on talk therapy, using various techniques to help you explore emotions, trauma, and life challenges. Psychologists can provide therapy too, but they often integrate testing, research-based protocols, and data analysis into their sessions. They’re more likely to work with complex mental health conditions or operate in clinical or research environments.

Let’s say you’re dealing with ongoing work stress—working with a psychotherapist might be your best bet. But if you need an official assessment for ADHD, autism, or learning disabilities for medical documentation, a psychologist would likely be the right choice.

 

How to Make the Right Choice? 

When it comes to the Psychotherapist vs Psychologist decision, the right choice can vary depending on your needs. You’ll first want to consider your unique situation and your motivation for seeking professional help. Are you looking for emotional support and tools to better cope with life’s stressors? Or do you need a clinical assessment and treatment plan for a specific mental health condition?

As you explore your options, be sure to read reviews and feedback from past clients. You can usually find this information on a therapist’s website or through platforms like Google Reviews. These insights can help you narrow down the right fit for you.

Even after your first session, tune into how you feel during the conversation. If you feel comfortable and heard, that’s a good sign. If not, don’t worry—there are many professionals out there, and finding the right connection is key.

Your mental health deserves thoughtful care. If you’re leaning toward talk therapy and emotional support, a psychotherapist might be the right fit. But if you suspect you need a diagnosis or formal testing, a psychologist may be the better choice in the Psychotherapist vs Psychologist equation.

Remember, switching professionals is totally okay if your needs shift. The most important thing is finding someone you trust—someone who helps you grow, heal, and feel safe being your authentic self.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

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Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

 

If you’re wondering, ‘Why do people stay in abusive relationships?’ this article will aim to answer that question. Whether you’re reading this material to understand yourself and your relationship or you want to support a friend, this guide can help you understand why a person would choose to stay in such a relationship.

Learn how to recognize an abusive relationship, the reasons for staying, and the best ways to exit it. 

 

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship is characterized by violence, cruelty, harm, and disrespect. Treating a partner in any of these ways indicates an abusive relationship. When it comes to types, relationship abuse can be physical, sexual, spiritual, or emotional. 

These are the most common signs of an abusive relationship:

  • Constant criticism, insults, or name-calling
  • Gaslighting (making you doubt yourself) 
  • Blaming you for everything 
  • Mood swings that keep you walking on eggshells
  • Withholding affection as punishment
  • Isolating you from friends and family
  • Dictating what you wear, eat, or how you spend money (without consent) 
  • Monitoring your phone, emails, or social media
  • Yelling, screaming, or demeaning you in private or public
  • Using sarcasm or “jokes” to humiliate you
  • Hitting, slapping, punching, choking, or biting (without consent)
  • Insulting your beliefs and practices
  • Throwing objects, punching walls, or threatening with weapons
  • Grabbing, pushing, or restraining
  • Blocking exits or physically intimidating you

These are the most common signs of abusive relationships. That said, if you feel harmed by your partner’s behavior, yet it’s not on this list, it doesn’t make it okay. Abuse from loved ones is often difficult to identify, and it can be confusing for those who experience it. If you suspect your relationship is abusive, talk to a friend or a therapist and share how you feel. 

 

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

The first thing someone thinks when talking about abusive relationships is, ‘Why don’t they just leave?’ However, leaving someone you love is not easy, even if you’re not happy in a relationship with them. There are many potential reasons why someone might decide to stay in an abusive relationship. 

Trauma Bonding

A person who grew up without unconditional love or in a dangerous home is more likely to be in an abusive relationship. In these situations, children develop emotional dependence and seek that familiar dynamic. Because of this, some people choose the same partner type repeatedly. 

Low Self-Worth

A person with lower self-worth will choose to stay in a relationship that is not fulfilling for them because they think they deserve it. For example, your friends might say for a while that you deserve a better partner, yet you don’t believe them. You think you have to put up with all the drama because someone better wouldn’t be interested in you. You may believe this because your partner lied and abused you by saying you’d never find anyone better. 

Being Threatened

In more severe cases, a person might be afraid to leave, as their partner has threatened them. These threats can include lying about you or threatening self-harm if you leave. Whatever the content of these threats, you decide to stay with them, as leaving could result in undesired consequences. 

Fear of the Unknown

Starting all over again might seem scary, especially as you get older. We get used to people and the relationships we build with them, even the bad ones. Staying in the familiar situation can seem safer than navigating the unknown. This situation could have the same effect if you dislike being alone or fear independence. 

Stigma or Shame

Staying in abusive relationships to avoid shame and comments from others is common for couples with children. They may view the ending of the relationship as a personal failure, a perception that is far from accurate. There is no excuse for abusive behavior, regardless of how your decision to leave the abusive partner might seem to others. 

Financial Dependence

If your partner is earning all the money, you might feel like you can’t end the relationship. Without money, you wouldn’t be able to find an apartment and cover all your needs. That said, if your partner is abusive, you can ask your friends and family for help, including financial assistance. They can give you food and a couch until you decide what to do. Additionally, some states provide financial resources for situations like this. 

Religious or Cultural Beliefs

In some cultures and religions, ending a relationship or marriage is viewed negatively. Everyone has heard stories of a happily ever after. However, life is not made only of perfect moments and people. Knowing when to cut ties with people who treat you poorly is essential for your well-being. 

 

Breaking the Silence

Many people in abusive relationships will try their best to change their abusive partners. Understanding the distinction between relationship difficulties and an abusive partner is crucial. Instead of trying to make them understand how you feel, talk to someone whom you trust and who can truly support you, whether that person is a family member, friend, or therapist.

Talking to someone else can also help you consider how to end a relationship in the best possible way. For the same reasons that they continue in such a relationship, many victims choose to remain silent. Getting the help you need is essential and is the only way to end your suffering. If the abuse has been going on for a while and it has taken a serious toll on your health, talk to a therapist or a trusted healthcare practitioner. 

Sometimes, talking to people who have been through the same experience can help. Look for online or offline support groups and connect with people who truly understand how you feel. Talking to someone who is now recovered from such a relationship can give you hope and motivate you to leave your abusive partner. After all, whatever the reason for staying in an abusive relationship, it is not worth sacrificing your peace, health, and happiness. You deserve to be happy and with someone who wants to make you happy every day!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Importance of Listening Skills: The Key to Effective Communication

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Importance of Listening Skills: The Key to Effective Communication

 

You’ll hear everyone talking about how to speak properly and keep others engaged, yet we rarely talk about the importance of listening skills. Talking and listening are integral aspects of effective communication. You can’t be a successful and efficient communicator if you don’t know how to listen properly when someone else is talking. 

Listening can help you understand the other person better and connect with others on a more meaningful level. Learn how to develop these skills and improve relationships in your private and professional life. 

 

What Are Listening Skills?

When people talk about listening, they often confuse it with hearing, yet hearing someone speak doesn’t imply you’re listening to them. Active listening consists of four components:

  • Attention: Are you paying attention to what is being said?
  • Understanding: Are you able to mentally process what is being said?
  • Response: Are you able to respond in a way that shows your engagement?
  • Retention: Are you able to remember key points from the conversation? 

A great example of passive listening is when students listen to their professors. Your professor could talk for an hour, yet you are not paying attention to everything they are saying. Listening requires paying attention and understanding what is being said, while hearing requires only allowing the speaker to say something and you to hear it. 

 

Why Listening Skills Matter in Communication

Listening skills are essential for connecting with everyone in your life. Even a random person on the street asking you a question can benefit from your listening skills. Not paying attention to their question can lead to incorrect answers, misunderstandings, and conflicts. 

You’ve probably heard that communication is key for every relationship. That means that strengthening your listening skills will help you with your coworkers and romantic partner. 

 

Builds Trust and Empathy

Do you remember the last time you shared something personal with your best friend, and you felt such relief when you realized how much they understood you? Such an experience is a sign that your friend has excellent listening skills. Listening to someone makes them feel seen and heard by you.

It fosters trust and empathy. Instead of only focusing on what you want to say, pay attention to what others are telling you. Show interest. Ask them questions. Most relationships suffer because partners are unable to communicate well with each other. In most cases, they both know how to talk; yet the listening part is what makes the relationship truly successful. 

 

Reduces Misunderstandings

When we pay attention to what the other person is telling us, we minimize the possibility of misunderstandings. When you don’t listen, assumptions start to arise. You start thinking that your partner is avoiding spending time with you when, in reality, they are working long hours. 

Misunderstandings can also happen at work. If you don’t actively listen to your colleagues and superiors, your performance may suffer, and you may not be able to advance in your career. That is why it’s essential to make an effort to actively listen and engage. Start by ensuring you can easily focus on the other person and eliminate potential distractions. 

 

Enhances Problem Solving and Collaboration

Listening is a foundation for teamwork. Whether you’re born in a big family or work in a team, listening to others is essential. It can help you get to know people better and also boost your problem-solving skills. By understanding someone else’s perspective, it becomes easier to suggest effective solutions.

Also, listening is a key element in collaboration. You might work on a large project and need to coordinate activities with your teammates. The situation can become an issue if you struggle to listen to what they are sharing about the project. 

 

Improves Leadership and Influence

All great leaders are great listeners as well. They will be more respected by their employees because they will understand them better. A leader who doesn’t listen to their employees cannot be an efficient boss. They will overlook challenges and issues their employees are facing because they don’t pay attention. 

On the other hand, leaders who listen will have more successful teams. They will know what their team needs and provide them with whatever it takes to be more efficient. A successful leader knows that listening is a form of emotional intelligence, and they use their time to listen to others, not just to talk. 

 

How to Improve Your Listening Skills

If you’re not skilled in listening, don’t worry. As with any skill, you can learn it over time. First, it’s important to understand which factors are impacting your inability to listen. You might get distracted easily or not have enough patience to listen to someone else talking. Whatever it is, be honest with yourself, as knowing the reasons could help you become a better listener. Recognizing the importance of listening skills is the first step toward improving them and becoming more present in your conversations.

 

Being Present

When someone starts talking, decide to listen to them. Set aside everything you’re doing or thinking about and give them your undivided attention. If something is distracting you, suggest moving to another location or postponing the conversation for the moment so that you’ll both be able to communicate.

 

Asking Questions and Paraphrasing

If you’re not sure if you understood correctly, ask them to clarify. You can paraphrase what they said to see if you agree. Try saying, “What you’re saying is …” or ask, “What did you mean when you said _____?”

 

Reflecting

We all talk to each other because of our need for connection, regardless of the environment. That is why reflection is such a key factor in active listening and highlights the importance of listening skills in building meaningful conversations. Once the person has stopped talking, reflect on what has been said. Show support or comprehension by reflecting on their words before speaking on what you want to share. Even though you might continue talking about the same topic, ignoring what was said can make the other person feel unheard.

 

Don’t Interrupt

Interrupting is something you should avoid unless it’s necessary. Instead, wait until the speaker has finished their thought. In almost all scenarios, interruption is considered a rude act, and it can even harm the communication flow. When you feel the urge to interrupt, remind yourself to wait. After all, patience and respect are key characteristics of outstanding communicators. 

If you start working on your listening skills, you will notice improvements instantly. You can improve your relationships by using every conversation to become a better listener. 

Start your journey here.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Stop Being Codependent & Have Healthy Relationships

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How to Stop Being Codependent & Have Healthy Relationships

 

The answer to the question, ‘How to stop being codependent?’ is not straightforward. After all, developing codependency takes time, just as becoming more independent in your relationships does. All human beings exhibit certain types of codependent behaviors, especially during our childhood years. While growing up, we learn to become more independent in areas that feel safe, such as doing homework or riding a bike. 

As much as we become independent adults, we will still seek connection and support from people in our lives, which is beneficial in many ways. Codependency, on the other hand, implies a dysfunctional dynamic in a relationship. It could mean that one person prioritizes the needs and desires of the other person over their own. It could also mean they need someone else’s approval before acting or saying something. 

In codependency, both sides are enabling each other’s unhealthy behaviors. That is why the solution to codependency is not as simple as we’d like it to be. Instead, it’s essential to understand why someone is codependent, what they receive from it, and which healthy alternatives they can implement in these areas.

 

Codependency Explained 

Some might refer to codependency as relationship addiction, while others might call it toxic relationships. Although these terms have much in common with codependency, they are not synonyms. We’ll say that a relationship is toxic when we can clearly see unhealthy behavior or the dynamics of that couple. 

However, codependency will most probably not look toxic to you at first. People often mistake codependency for care, where one partner takes care of the other. Codependents expect others to care for them because they can’t do it themselves. 

The following key characteristics provide the best explanation of codependency:

  • Unhealthy dependence: Codependent people often have an unhealthy level of dependence on each other, whether it’s for approval, validation, security, or self-worth. 
  • Prioritizing others’ needs: In a codependent relationship, each person will prioritize the needs of the other instead of their own, most often at their expense. 
  • Enabling unhealthy behaviors: Both sides will enable codependency in each other through unhealthy behaviors, such as addiction, poor mental health, irresponsibility, or immaturity. 
  • Weak or lack of boundaries: Codependent partners will have issues setting and respecting boundaries. 
  • Fear of abandonment: To avoid being alone, a person with codependent behaviors will do anything to make the other person stay in their life. 
  • Low self-esteem: Those stuck in a codependent relationship often have low self-esteem and believe they don’t deserve anything positive or beautiful, so they focus on maintaining the status quo of their relationship instead of growing together. 

 

Causes of Codependency

By going through the main characteristics of codependency, you might also get an idea of its common causes. Mostly, codependency stems from early childhood experiences. This means that children in dysfunctional families tend to become codependent adults. Growing up in a home with a lack of boundaries, low self-esteem, or prioritizing family needs over their own, a person will most probably repeat the same patterns in their relationships. 

That is why it’s essential to become aware of what caused your codependency. In most cases, the answer appears during childhood. These causes can be:

  • Abuse
  • Neglect
  • Unhealthy family roles
  • Overprotective/underprotective parenting 
  • Insecure attachment 
  • Lack of self-worth 
  • Unresolved trauma
  • Substance abuse
  • Chronic illness
  • Cultural and social factors

 

How Can You Stop Being Codependent 

If you want your friendships and romantic relationships to be healthier, learning how to stop being codependent is essential. Follow the steps below to work on your codependency and consider talking to a therapist. Therapy is a good way to learn about your codependency, its effects on your relationships, and alternatives. 

 

1.Get to Know Your Codependency

When we’re talking about the parts of us we don’t like so much, we tend to run away from them, thinking it might set us free. However, you can’t run away from something that is a part of you. Instead, you need to befriend it and learn all about it. 

Why are you codependent? How does the habit benefit you? What are your first memories of codependent behavior? Answering these questions can help you understand the dynamics of your relationships. You can explore many techniques to get to know this part of you. 

Consider giving that codependent part of you a name and talking to it. If you don’t want to do that, you can write down how you feel and what you need. It might feel awkward at first. After all, you’re doing it for the first time. 

 

2.Think of Alternatives for Your Codependent Behaviors

Unbelievably, your codependency solely prioritizes your well-being! For example, your fear of abandonment led to creating several techniques to ensure such an event doesn’t happen in the future. Unfortunately, these techniques are exhausting and detrimental to your well-being. 

Instead, you could set a goal of spending quality time with yourself once a week. The task could involve picking up an old hobby, practicing mindfulness, dancing to your favorite music, or anything else you like. By learning to enjoy your alone time, you will remind yourself that you don’t depend on others to have a good time. 

The same goes for anything else you’ve realized while learning about your codependency. If you struggle with setting boundaries, these issues can be your focus. First, determine which values are most important for you in your relationships. For instance, if you appreciate punctuality, communicate it to your friends and romantic partner. Ask them to respect your time and share your boundaries with them. 

This means you can leave after waiting 15 minutes or only meet when they can hang out with you. 

 

3.Consider Therapy

This work might be overwhelming, so talking to a mental health professional could greatly help. A therapist can guide you through the process of understanding and reducing your codependency. Such an approach can benefit those who can’t find the right methods to get to know their codependency. 

With a therapist, you will look closely at your relationships to see the common dynamic. Occasionally, all we need is someone asking the right question to trigger a train of thoughts that lead to valuable conclusions. You can also become aware of your codependency and work in parallel with a therapist. You can even ask them to give you homework after each session to maximize the value of the therapy. 

Conclusion

Learning how to stop being codependent is the first step toward becoming more independent and building healthy, fulfilling relationships. It might take time, yet it’s possible. Once you realize your codependent behaviors, you’ll see things improve, whether you work on it alone or with a therapist. With each step, you will feel more confident and motivated to pursue relationships that reflect your inner state. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Be More Productive in Your Therapy Sessions

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How to Be More Productive in Your Therapy Sessions

 

Do you want to learn how to be more productive while talking to your therapist? You might feel that time is running fast during your sessions, and you don’t have enough time to address everything you want. Or, you might feel like you’re forgetting everything you’ve talked about as soon as you leave the office. Whatever the reason, being productive in your therapy sessions is very beneficial for you. 

Productivity can provide you with structural support when it comes to healing. You can focus on what’s best for you instead of worrying about forgetting to bring something up or memorizing your therapist’s words. Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to enhance your mental and emotional health, and productivity can be a huge aid in the process. 

 

Productivity Hacks for Your Next Therapy Session

You might be preparing yourself for your first therapy session, or you’ve been going for a while. In either case, you can start being productive before, during, and after talking to your therapist. 

 

Before the Session

Are you one of these people who’s rushing into your therapist’s office or opening that meeting link in your calendar without catching a breath? Well, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate this approach. Preparing yourself for therapy eliminates the stress and helps you concentrate on what will happen during the session. 

Before each session, give yourself five to ten minutes to prepare tea, coffee, or water; go to the bathroom; and tidy up and organize the space around you. In the time between sessions, make sure you write down the events or thoughts you’d like to share with your therapist.

When it comes to productivity hacks before the session, consider these:

  • Setting clear goals: Define what you wish to address or achieve in each therapy session (e.g., event, emotion or feeling, memory, relationship, etc.).
  • Keep a therapy journal: Write down all your events, thoughts, and emotions in one place. It helps you track your progress and go back to the past moments when necessary. 
  • Track patterns: You can use a journal or write notes in an app, yet tracking recurring triggers, behaviors, or emotions can help you address those issues with your therapist.  
  • Prepare topics: If there is something that crosses your mind, write it down and read it before the session to see whether or not you want to talk about it. 

 

During the Session

Productivity really pays off during your therapy sessions. During the session, your therapist will provide advice and ask the right questions. Making sure you pay attention to and memorize their words will be valuable to you later as well. You might come across the same situation as you did a few months ago, and checking your notes from that session might save you time and energy. 

When it comes to productivity hacks during the session, consider these:

  • Be transparent: Therapy is your safe space, and you should motivate yourself to speak freely about your thoughts and emotions. Allow yourself to explore uncomfortable topics and dig deeper into them. 
  • Ask questions: If something is unclear or you want to discuss the topic more profoundly, ask your therapist to explain or provide examples. 
  • Take notes: You don’t have to write everything during the session. Write key insights, phrases, coping strategies, or ideas that you or your therapist mentioned.

 

After the Session 

You should take five to ten minutes after the session, just like you do before it. Take a moment to absorb everything that was said after you leave your therapist’s office or end the online call. We often forget to reflect on our experiences because we’re so focused on what’s next. Taking a moment to take care of yourself after therapy should become a part of your routine. 

When it comes to productivity hacks after the session, consider these:

  • Reflect: Think about what you said and heard, and how it could be used in daily life. 
  • Implement: Apply the coping mechanisms or techniques recommended.
  • Notice progress: Track improvement or emotional shifts you notice as a result of therapy.
  • Provide feedback: Share with your therapist how you felt afterwards and what changes you’ve noticed or managed to implement after the session. 

 

Overcoming Common Challenges

You may notice certain challenges when it comes to your first efforts to become more productive in your therapy sessions. The lack of productivity can make it seem like you’re not benefiting from your therapy as much as you’d like. Applying all the tips mentioned above allows you to see a clear overview of your healing process. You can see how you felt months ago, which triggers you had, and what new techniques your therapist was suggesting. You can compare that information with the present situation and see what has improved. 

Being more productive, especially writing down and reflecting, enables you to manage more efficiently intense feelings during and after sessions. Once you start applying these suggestions, you will notice so many benefits. 

You will feel more concentrated and prepared for your next session. You will pay closer attention to your therapist’s words. You will notice how the work from therapy shows up in your daily situations with minimal conscious effort. All of this is possible due to the progress made during your therapy sessions. 

 

In Final Words

You don’t have to use all of our productivity tips at once. Make notes for your next therapy session, and after you’re done, take some time to think back on it. Doing it all at once could overwhelm you and make it feel like a systematic rather than emotional process. 

Also, not all techniques work for all people. Some might prefer to track progress in their therapy journals, while others prefer writing key words and phrases on sticky notes and having them where they can see them. It’s up to you to decide which of these ideas can help you become more productive. After all, you will enjoy its benefits!

Schedule a session today! 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Lesbian Couples Therapy

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Lesbian Couples Therapy: How It Can Strengthen Your Relationship

 

If you’re looking for tips on how to choose the best lesbian couples therapy for you and your significant other, we’ll share with you everything you need to keep in mind. From choosing a therapist to preparing for your first session, this blog will help you succeed. 

 

Reasons to Seek Lesbian Couples Therapy

If you and your partner are seeking a therapist to help you strengthen your relationship, you might consider going to a conventional therapist. However, keep in mind that a therapist without previous work with lesbian couples might be insufficient for you. This is because they could be unaware of the unique challenges a lesbian couple could face, whether it’s among partners, in the family, or in society.

Find a therapist who treats clients like you; check their reviews! The therapist’s knowledge and skills on what your contextual world is will help you and your partner with not explaining and teaching the therapist beyond heterosocial norms. 

Here are the most common reasons why a lesbian couple would seek therapy:

  • Communication and conflict resolution
  • Intimacy and emotional connection
  • Identity and societal pressures
  • Life transitions and external stressors
  • Lesbian-specific relationship dynamics

 

How to Prepare for Lesbian Couples Therapy

Even if you still need time to search for the best therapist or decide whether that’s the best solution, there are certain things you can do as a couple to work on issues within your relationship. 

 

Talk About Each Other’s Feelings

It is alright if you or your partner is experiencing grief, hurt, frustration, or any other emotion. Recognizing these emotions allows you both to provide each other with what you need. Oftentimes, conflicts arise when we assume how the other partner is feeling and act or say in a the wrong way.

When and where you both feel comfortable, share your feelings and needs. Don’t interrupt each other when speaking. If any of you find it difficult, assign a certain amount of time for each of you to speak. Asking her questions will help you understand her better if you’re unsure.

 

Respect Her Perspective

Oftentimes, we’ll focus only on the facts and search for the truth. Instead of doing that, remember that each person has a unique perspective on a certain event. Without arguing over who is right, you can get to know each other better. 

Even if your perspective is different, allow your partner to share hers. Learning how you both perceive and experience situations can help you build a stronger relationship. 

 

Learn Each Other’s Love Language

In all relationships, many conflicts arise because we are unable to give each other what we need. This might happen because of misunderstandings, external factors or simply because you’re not aware of each other’s love language. 

Love languages refer to our preferred way to give and receive love. This can be through words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. 

 

Don’t Forget About Physical Intimacy

You need to work on all aspects of your relationship, not just communication. Working on physical intimacy is essential. The term can mean different things to different people. For instance, your partner might need more hugs or cuddles before sleep, while you will want more sexual activity during the week to keep things spicy.

 

Spend Time with Mutual Friends

Spending time with friends can help you feel more accepted, loved, and protected. Beyond that, it reminds you both who is in your community and who matters. This can be quite beneficial if you don’t feel understood by your family or coworkers. 

Time spent with friends can also meet some of the needs that your partner can’t. For instance, you might be working a lot, and you don’t have time for a wild night out. If you decide to go out with friends, you can go to bed early, and your partner can have a great time dancing and talking to people you both love.  

 

How to Choose the Right Lesbian Couples Therapist

Before you just schedule an appointment with the first therapist you find online, make sure you check a few things first. If you’ve found a therapist online, you can find their experience and areas of expertise there as well. 

If you can’t find that information online or you’re seeing a therapist in person, you can ask them to send it to you before you schedule the first session. Once you and your partner have decided on one option, make sure you also keep alternative options if the first person doesn’t seem like a right fit after the session. 

It would be helpful to hear from past clients about what makes this therapist good, so read their reviews on Google. After all, even if a person is a lesbian couple therapist, they might not feel like the right fit due to their approach, personality, or something else. 

If you have any questions or concerns, it’s best to address them before or during your first session. Any technical details like price, insurance coverage, methods, and approaches should be discussed during your first interaction.

If, for whatever reason, you and your partner decide to look for another therapist, you’d better do it sooner rather than later. These steps will save you time and energy, and you won’t have to repeat the same information to another professional. 

 

Final Words

Therapy can help you strengthen the positive parts of your relationship and work on the parts that typically end in discussion. Being in a relationship is not easy, and it requires significant effort. Addressing unique challenges that lesbian couples face can help you heal from them and reconnect with your romantic partner.

Lesbian couples therapy can help you walk down that healing path together and lean on each other when times are tough. As time passes, you will both see how your relationship is developing and be encouraged to celebrate that! 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.