Tag Archive for: online couples counseling

Online Couples Counseling & Premarital Counseling

Online Couples Counseling & Premarital Counseling


Healthy relationships require a lot of work, and many decide to start with online couples counseling before committing more. 

It’s completely normal for couples to look for expert assistance to get over difficulties that develop in a relationship as it helps the couple to connect even more and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

Online relationship counseling is available in a variety of formats, just like in-person relationship counseling, including couples therapy, premarital counseling, and relationship coaching. 

Depending on what the couple needs, they can choose an adequate form of online therapy and begin working on improving their relationship. 

Reasons to Seek Online Couples Counseling

Clinicians agree that the ideal moment to seek online couples counseling is before you feel you need it, just like with any sort of therapy. This proactive approach to overcoming problems can help you avoid a lot of pain and conflict in the long run. 

If your relationship is struggling with any of the issues listed below, now might be a good time to consider online couples counseling:

  • Issues communicating and/or having the same argument over and over again,
  • Deciding about the future of your relationship and/or navigating major life changes that impact your relationship,
  • Having differing expectations of the relationship,
  • Infidelity, whether it is emotional or physical, 
  • Parenting and/or family-related difficulties, 
  • Issues with intimacy and sex,
  • Money stress or any type of financial concerns.

Couples should always consider continuing to work on and enhance their relationship despite their inability to attend in-person sessions. Delaying the start of therapy can harm the relationship and may eventually result in anger, resentment, despair, or anxiety.

What is Being Discussed in Online Couples Therapy

You can discuss any subject in online sessions that you would like to have in-person sessions. If a topic seems significant to you and your relationship, it’s crucial to address it in couples counseling and give it time and space to understand the root of the issue. 

In addition to all of the relationship pressures that existed before the pandemic and still affect couples, clinicians are observing a number of new issues, such as:

  • Increased anxiety about the future,
  • Changes in partner compatibility during the pandemic
  • Heightened sense of conflict,
  • Financial stress,
  • Differences in parenting style,
  • Lack of intimacy,
  • Issues healing from the past unresolved events, 
  • Experiencing a mental health challenge that is affecting the relationship.

Many couples are also discovering that problems in their relationship that could have existed before the pandemic feel heightened or suddenly revealed. This phenomenon is connected to rising family stress, tight budgets, and existential anxieties – all of which are accompanied by fewer distractions as a result of the continued social distance needs. If you can relate to this, know that an online couples therapist can assist you in processing and navigating these increased pressures.

Preparing for Online Couples Therapy

Online couples counseling has a distinct advantage over in-person treatment in that couples have complete control over their personal space. Because of this, it is even more crucial to set up your session such that you feel comfortable and your therapist can see everything that is going on in the room. Consider the following to ensure that you are both physically and psychologically prepared for sessions:

1. Check Your Internet Speed

It is best to use the internet with a bandwidth of at least 10 MBps for the best experience and to avoid connection problems. You can use a variety of free internet speed tests to examine the speed of your connection. If you noticed that your internet connection is lower than suggested above, consider resetting your router or utilizing the mobile hotspot.

2. Camera Should Capture as Much of You as Possible

Couples should meet on computers rather than on phones because it’s simpler to see both people on the screen. Place the computer a few feet away so that the therapist can see as much of your body as possible, place the computer a few feet away.

3. Minimize Distractions

You should both have a strategy for reducing distractions, both within and outside the room. The best thing to do is to use a room with a closed door to establish clear expectations for privacy if you have children who are old enough to spend time alone. If you have children, set up an activity for them in a separate room and set a timer for them so they can anticipate when their parents will finish.

Make sure you get rid of any outside electronic distractions as well. You should consider keeping your phone away and disabling notifications on your computer during sessions as both can be distracting.


4. Joining Together vs from Separate Rooms

Even though you’re working on your relationship together, keep in mind that couples can receive online couples counseling even if they don’t live together. Joining separately could be the typical choice for long-distance or currently separated couples, and it is also an option for people who live together. 

Depending on the subjects being addressed, some couples prefer to attend from separate areas in the house. For example, if a difficult situation is being discussed, partners may prefer to have some physical space during this particular session.

The First Online Couples Counseling Session

Every therapist has their own distinct intake procedure, yet many use a three-step method in which they first meet with the couple as a whole and then separately with each partner once.

The initial joint appointment gives the therapist a chance to learn more about your relationship’s past and the reasons you’re currently seeking counseling. The therapist’s goal is to get a strong initial image of what is happening in the relationship, from both partners’ viewpoints. In the first session, your therapist will try to gain a clear sense of who they are, how they see their relationship, and what they want to work on.

At the initial session, therapists could ask the following questions to better understand your dynamic and relationship:

  • What is the reason for starting with online counseling therapy?
  • What worked well and not so well in your relationship?
  • How did you two meet and what made you fall in love with each other?
  • What relevant events have you faced in your relationship?
  • What small conflicts arise in your daily life?

In Conclusion

Couples counseling takes a lot of courage and patience, so it’s completely reasonable to be anxious before the first appointment. Concentrate on the fact that both you and your partner are willing to work on the relationship, and have faith in your therapist to support the creation of a secure, nonjudgmental space where you can both freely express yourselves.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

online couple counseling

Therapy on Retainer Vs. Onsite Couples Work

Therapy on Retainer Vs. Onsite Couples Work


For decades, therapy has been conducted on comfortable rooms on couches with pillows and soothing colors to help you relax. Face-to-face therapy works. It’s helped millions of people overcome significant roadblocks to their happiness and fulfillment.

As therapists, we rely on personal sessions immensely. We do our best to read body language, facial expressions, mood, and other non-verbal cues. Our training helps us cut through the automatic statements and responses we all speak unconsciously, which often obfuscate underlying pain or trauma.

If you’ve ever spoken to your therapist on the phone, you know it’s not the same as being there in person. Therapy done over the phone can still be good, but it’s just…different.

Meeting onsite with your therapist is always the way to go, but it’s not always possible. People are limited by financial reasons, distance, and busy work schedules that stop you from seeing your therapist as much as you’d like.

Thankfully, therapists are using technology to make it easier for you. Many clients hire therapists on retainer for shorter, more regular interactions that supplement face-to-face sessions.

Online couple counseling 

Onsite Couples Counseling 

Some couples I see are so far down a path that they can’t even see where they began anymore. The way we live every day becomes a habit. It can be hard to step outside of ourselves and see how we’ve created the lives we have.

When couples come in, it’s a nuanced process of removing layers. It may require working through years of resentment about imbalances in a relationship. We may have to dig a bit into what’s driving sexual inhibitions. It’s not usually easy, but therapy work for couples struggling can be extremely healing and beneficial to relationships.

We all carry baggage related to our family and place of origin. Our childhood experiences have an outsized impact on who we become. Bullying, shame, trauma and other things that happened to us when we were kids still influence who we are today. Systems and the way we process things runs deep.

Couples therapy is often emotionally intense. There’s this huge outpouring feeling, whether it be anger, love, regret, or hope. You might have some homework or things to work on with your partner or spouse until the next time you meet with your therapist.

You leave with high expectations and then life gets in the way. It might be a week, two, or even longer until you see your therapist again. Unless you’re taking copious notes, it’s hard to remember all the things that worked as well as the issues you want to bring up in the next session. It’s one of the main limitations of in-person therapy.


Is Online Couples Counseling for You? Get a Therapist on Retainer!

Online couples counseling, which I like to call “therapy on retainer” is an option many therapists at Life Coaching and Therapy offer today.

Essentially, online couples counseling gives you more regular access to your therapist, though your interactions will be shorter and done over text or phone.

It’s not a replacement for ongoing face-to-face counseling. It most likely is not covered by insurance.

However, just like using “FaceTime” and other video technology helped make therapy better, therapy on retainer uses texting, email, and phone to supplement ongoing counseling.

Here are some of the main benefits of therapy on retainer and why you should consider it:


Ongoing Contact


The bottom line is you get more access to your therapist. It’s not deep access, but for people who need more follow-up, it’s a great benefit. For example, if you and your spouse get into an argument or are “stuck”, you can reach out to your therapist for help.

Likewise, you can celebrate successes as they happen instead of waiting a week or longer to go over it with your therapist. This can help reinforce positive behavior and communication that will help make it a habit faster.

In emergencies or times of crisis, it’s also a huge comfort to know you can talk to your therapist and get counseling without having to schedule an appointment or leave work.


It Works for Couples

Getting into your therapist by yourself can be difficult. Juggling work, school, kids, dinner, and whatever else is on your plate is hard! With your spouse or partner, it’s even more challenging.

Using online couples counseling or therapy on retainer makes it easier for you and your partner to engage with your therapist regularly. You can conference call or group text, so everyone’s opinion is shared and heard. There’s no repeating or going over what you said in your last session if your partner couldn’t make it.

With texting and other forms of communication, both partners can chime in on what works and what needs to be addressed when you’re all physically together again. It helps remove nuance that so often gets in the way.

online couples therapy 

Regular Follow Up Creates Daily Habits

The more follow up you build into your life, the better. As therapists, we do our bests to create personalized plans to help you become what you want or deal with the things that are holding you back.

When follow up happens on a weekly or biweekly basis in counseling sessions, that’s great! When it can be done daily, that’s even better.

We are all creatures of habit. The things we do well and don’t do so well, over time, become habits. With therapy on retainer, there can be small interactions throughout the week that keep you on your game. You can course-correct as you come across issues as they arise.


Try a Mix and Stick with What Works

Trying therapy on retainer is an excellent add-on to traditional counseling. If you’ve never done it before, talk to your therapist about whether they offer it as an option. It could be the more regular connection you need to see real improvement in intimacy, communication, or whatever else you’re working on.

A good therapist will use the more regular dialogue to help you form behaviors that help you accomplish your goals. They’ll also be there in times of need. Reaction to a text or call my not be immediate if they’re meeting with someone else but knowing you don’t have to wait a week or more to speak to your therapist is a great comfort.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.