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self-sabotaging behaviors

Breaking Free from Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Overcome Patterns for Personal Growth

Breaking Free from Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Overcome Patterns for Personal Growth

 

Self-sabotaging behaviors are those that cause problems in everyday life and impede long-term goals. For example, procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, binge or restrictive eating, and self-injury are among the most common self-destructive activities.

Connecting a behavior to self-defeating consequences does not guarantee that the person will stop doing it. People are not always aware that they are causing themselves harm. However, almost all forms of self-sabotage can be defeated. Behavioral therapy can assist in breaking up ingrained thought and behavior patterns while also improving reflection and self-control. Similarly, motivational therapy can help a person reconnect with their goals and values.

 

Why Do Some Self-Sabotage?

There are various reasons why someone could behave in a way that is harmful to their own well-being. Of course, some people struggle for the majority of their lives with intense cravings for food, alcohol, gambling, or other temptations that have a severe impact on their relationships or health.

The factors that cause self-sabotage, however, can also be subtle and not so obvious to everyone else. For instance, a buildup of erroneous and dysfunctional ideas might cause someone to underrate their skills, repress their emotions, or snap at others around them.

People may block their own progress for a variety of reasons. Procrastination, perfectionism, relationships, jobs, finances, time, and change are common forms of self-sabotage. For instance, a perfectionist who strives to do work precisely may discount incremental advancements when even a small amount of development might help them reach their objective.

 

Causes of Self-Sabotage 

For a number of reasons, people prevent their own advancement. They may deliberately or subconsciously engage in self-destructive behavior. The root causes might be traced back to early relationships or childhood difficulties. Low self-esteem, coping issues, and issues with cognitive dissonance are some other causes of this sort of harmful conduct, which will be detailed below.

People frequently employ self-sabotage as a coping strategy to deal with difficult events and painful memories. Unfortunately, it frequently worsens issues and restricts one’s capacity to move forward in a healthy manner.

Self-sabotaging individuals may be conscious of their behavior. For instance, a dieter who is overweight could purposefully undermine their efforts by devouring the entire carton of ice cream.

Or they could behave unintentionally. A person misses a deadline at work. It appears like he was late at first glance, yet in reality, he is terrified of failing. By missing the deadline, he undermines his efforts to advance within the organization.

These are the most common causes of self-sabotaging behaviors:

  • Difficult childhood,
  • Problems in your romantic relationships,
  • Low self-esteem,
  • Cognitive dissonance

 

Types of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

Mental health professionals have recognized typical instances of self-sabotage. Procrastination, perfectionism, and self-medication are three simple examples. However, you will be able to find more of them, depending on the person and their previous life experiences. 

 

Procrastination

Those who self-sabotage delay gratification frequently. Procrastination is a strategy to demonstrate to others that you are never prepared and delay a positive result. People are afraid of disappointing others, failing, or excelling, which is why.

 

Perfectionism

It will take longer and lead to setbacks if you hold yourself to an unattainable standard. Aiming for everything to go off without a hitch may sound like a good idea, yet perfectionism stifles achievement. Perfectionists fall apart when something goes wrong, as it will invariably occur. They experience humiliation as a result. They are prone to sadness and believe that they have let everyone down.

 

Self Medication

Many people turn to drugs, alcohol, and self-injury to cope with the ongoing conflict between their desire to succeed and the voice in their heads telling them they can’t.

 

Preventing Self-Sabotage

An essential part of avoiding self-sabotage is tracking and evaluating behavior. People prone to self-defeating habits might become aware of when they are stressed and record the cause of that stress as well as their reactions. They may examine if that decision is based on any false or harmful ideas, and if so, train themselves to react in a different, healthier way by, for example, talking to others about their feelings, working out, or picking up a new interest.

Your best course of action is to seek assistance from your therapist or counselor, if you are working with one. Here are some things to think about to stop you from doing further harm if you want some advice on how to stop this bad conduct.

Look for patterns in your life to understand what might cause a certain behavior. Have you a tendency to consistently undermine your own good intentions? Did these deeds take place while you were about to succeed or on the verge of fulfilling your own goals?

As previously stated, this behavior might have developmental origins. Some parents encourage their children not to think too big, either because they don’t know any better or because they are concerned their kids won’t be happy.

 

In Final Words

People who self-sabotage frequently strive for perfection. Perhaps you obsess over minor details and expect everything to be flawless. Instead of aiming for perfection, strive for excellence. Begin to make small adjustments and track your progress as you get closer to your goal.

Professional therapy can help you understand and unlearn self-sabotaging behaviors. After all, self-sabotaging behavior doesn’t just appear and disappear. It took many actions and experiences, especially with your parents and family, to cultivate it, so it will take time to replace it with rewarding, healthy behaviors. 

If you know someone who self-sabotages, forward them this blog.   

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Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

 How to Stop “Self Sabotaging Behaviors”

 How to Stop “Self Sabotaging Behaviors”

 

Do you know how to stop self sabotaging behaviors from affecting your life? Nobody loves acknowledging self sabotage, yet we all undermine our own lives at times Everyone has taken actions that have put them at odds with a goal they are working toward. When we’re conscious of self sabotaging behaviors, that’s okay.

 

Life might seem impossible when not conscious of our self-destructive behaviors. This article will teach you how to spot harmful habits and quit self-defeating behavior. You will benefit significantly by focusing on what can be controlled rather than making the needed changes.

What is Self-Sabotage?

To intentionally harm, impede, or hinder anything that doesn’t function as intended is called sabotage. Even while we seldom ever purposefully stand in our way, we occasionally take actions or say words that accomplish just that. Others might even think it was intentional.

Self-destructive actions can harm our success in our personal and professional lives and our mental health. People who self-sabotage themselves do (or don’t do) things that obstruct their achievement or keep them from achieving their objectives. Both consciously and unintentionally might take place.

The first step in changing these tendencies is becoming aware of self-sabotage. A mismatch between values and conduct will result in self-sabotage. We may act in a way that prevents us from achieving our goals.

Cognitive dissonance, the psychological pain brought on by internal conflicts, is another factor connected with self-destructive actions. We experience an imbalance when we force ourselves to act in a manner that is inconsistent with our ideas and ideals. We frequently alter our behavior to restore this equilibrium unconsciously.

Recognizing Self-Sabotage

The development of self-awareness is one of the most critical steps in detecting self-destructive behavior. Self-awareness, or introspection, is essential to identifying harmful behavioral patterns and improving one’s capacity to break them immediately. Self-sabotage has several distinct recurring ways.

Frame your scenario using the following phrase to assist you in starting recognizing self-sabotage:

“I want to accomplish (objective), yet I continue to act this way.”

“I want to acquire a passport, yet I keep missing the appointment.” 

Now that you’ve recognized the behavior and the way you keep blocking it, you can start searching for new contexts in which it can emerge. You could discover, for instance, that you frequently forget doctor’s appointments or never schedule appointments for passports. You’ll start to recognize your habits once you ask yourself these questions (which might arise in more than one area of your life).

Types of Self Sabotaging Behaviors

There are more ways of self sabotaging ourselves, and the more we are aware of them, then it will be easier to reduce the effect they have. 

Perfectionism

Although aiming for perfection can seem like a good idea, doing so frequently hinders productivity. Perfectionists often struggle to begin tasks; if they do, their fixation on the intricacies prevents them from finishing them.

Additionally, all-or-nothing thinking is a trait of perfectionists. They have the propensity to be very hard on themselves and talk themselves out of possibilities before they ever begin.

Running on Empty

To do more, neglecting your needs personally is foolish and subtle self-sabotage. Have you ever heard the proverbial tale of the golden egg-laying goose? The owner chopped apart the goose to obtain all the eggs since they were sick of just receiving one a day (that didn’t work out well).

Moderation

Setting limits might be challenging for people with difficulty being moderate. A night out with many drinks or a lack of moderation in other aspects of their lives is a self sabotaging behavior. This conduct may be people-pleasing (which leads them to accept too many requests). 

Other, more subtle methods of “overdoing it” include staying up late watching TV or working out at the gym until you’re exhausted. Overcommitting frequently hides a hidden fear of achievement, although it might appear to be a strong will to succeed.

Procrastination 

Everyone occasionally procrastinates, especially when faced with a task they don’t enjoy. However, procrastinating might be a sign of low self-confidence. When you put off doing anything, you deprive yourself of the opportunity and resources you need to complete it well.

Perfectionism and procrastination frequently coexist. If a person believes they can’t do a task precisely, perfectionists often put off starting the activity.

Self-Sabotaging Symptoms

Self-sabotage can have very subtle symptoms. Here are some typical methods of self-sabotage that people use both at work and elsewhere:

  • Refusing to seek assistance,
  • Micromanaging or controlling conduct,
  • Starting disputes or arguments with family, friends, or coworkers,
  • Setting unrealistic or excessively high standards for yourself, 
  • Avoiding or excluding people,
  • Severe self-criticism and negative self-talk,
  • Making apologies or shifting the blame,
  • Compromising your morals and ambitions,
  • Substance addiction, excessive spending, or other types of “overdoing it”
  • Always looking for acceptance,
  • Unwillingness to advocate for oneself.

Regarding the future or reaching our objectives, we could feel pessimistic. We can believe that something is amiss and that we cannot just succeed. Self-sabotage may take over our daily life when we’re unaware of our negative thought patterns and how they influence our actions.

Conclusion

Be kind to yourself as you become familiar with the many forms of self-sabotage (and how they manifest). Remember that making too many changes at once is a classic self-defeating behavior. Collaboration with a mental health therapist or coach can be highly beneficial. It can help you learn how to quit self-sabotaging and move on by offering accountability and support.

An essential part of avoiding self-sabotage is tracking and evaluating behavior. People prone to self-defeating habits might become aware of when they are stressed and record the cause of that stress and their reactions. They may examine if that decision is based on any false or harmful ideas, and if so, train themselves to react in a different, healthier way by, for example, talking to others about their feelings, working out, or picking up a new interest.

Pick a success-limiting behavior, such as procrastination, low self-esteem, or bad financial decisions. Make a strategy for alternative activities after determining the factors that cause that behavior. For instance, if negativity is an issue at work, set a goal to say one encouraging thing every day. To make little steps toward your objective, embrace improvements instead of eliminating them.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do