Tips on How to Save Your Marriage – Once and For All!

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Tips on How to Save Your Marriage – Once and For All!

 

Relationships are hard and learning how to save your marriage is harder; yet, worth it. This is not to say it is all downhill once you walk down the altar. 

I cannot lie and say it is all rose petals and no thorns, though. 

Marriage is a complex component made up of legal bindings. It also falls under the category of romantic love and wanting your partner to be your everything. 

Sure, you have made it from the long-term relationship title into a completely different one – spouse, or husband, or wife. 

Marriages require effort, communication, and a lot of other things that may be made clear in this article.

Marriage is beautiful, yet sometimes it isn’t measured in years because it can end.

If you happen to find “your person,” having a successful marriage is a process to learn to love for both of you. 

Each couple is unique, and your situation and circumstances are different. 

As much as we would like a fairytale relationship and marriage, our expectations are often underwhelmed.

We are sold what marriage looks like in movies, books, music, and television. However, that is just a snapshot. It doesn’t often show the systemic process of the intense process that marriage is. 

There are different reasons that contribute to a couple drifting apart. Since each couple is different, these reasons range from unfaithfulness to a lack of communication to a desire discrepancy. 

We cannot promise that these tips and exercises will help save your particular marriage, yet it has worked for many of our clients. 

 

Some of the ways to start the journey back to being a happy couple include: 

1.Re-evaluate why you became a couple

The decision to be together did not come out of the blue. Both of you weighed your options and decided it was the best thing to do. This was way back, before the wedding and even kids. Before you said yes to marriage, the question to be their partner came first. Why did you decide on them? On the person you cannot stand now.

Ask yourselves what attracted you to each other. Was it their smile or work ethic? Their humanity or kindness? Their suffering? Their potential? 

This will remind you why you fell in love in the first place. It will have both of you reminiscing on a time before you discovered the flaws you see now. Your partner was once this person, and they can be that person for you if they want to.

 

2.Write down important things

Putting your feelings into words is therapy in itself. You can both write a whole list about your partner. What you like about them and what kept you by their side.

After writing down a list of all the things you appreciate about your partner, see if they want to receive it. 

Write down where you envision your new relationship future. 

Write down the steps on how to get there! 

It is also important to write down where you want the relationship to go, because how can you get somewhere without visualizing it first? 

Are there conversations you both need to have? Are children in your future? 

This will help you visualize a future with your partner, which is the whole point of how to save your marriage.

 

3.Set boundaries

Try telling your spouse what they do that has you feeling insecure. Own it with nonviolent communication. 

  • Is it them staying out late during weekends? 
  • Are they spending less time with you? 
  • Do you need them to help out more around the house?

Example: I feel _____ when I have the thought that you are spending less time with me. I am requesting that we _____. Are you able to do that, or can you offer another strategy?

You need to set reasonable requests, and abide by them as well when you are asked. 

If you ask your partner to be back home by 7 p.m. on a Saturday, you need to ask them what they would like as an alternative strategy for them. Maybe they want you home at the same time, or maybe they would rather when you come home late that you give them a massage. 

This negotiation for a collaboration cultivates trust in both individuals, and we all know the importance of trust in our relationships.

 

4.Show appreciation

Make a conscious note to appreciate your partner’s efforts. 

  • Notice when they change a hairstyle or buy a new article of clothing. 
  • Appreciate when they help out around the house.
  • Give compliments like you just met. 
  • Act as if everything they do is the greatest thing you have seen and watch as your love blossoms. 
  • People like to be noticed for their efforts.

For example, if your husband fixes a leak in the kitchen sink, give him a big hug and kiss and say “thank you. I feel so loved right now.” He will feel great about helping out and do it more often. 

It keeps him happy and provides you with the help you desire around the house. A WIN / WIN! 

 

5.Communicate

Miscommunication is a huge damper in relationships. Couples who do not voice their feelings end up holding a lot of remorse and resent. 

Make clear and respectful communication a huge part of your routine. Talking about your feelings towards your partner helps unburden you. It also allows them a chance to correct themselves in an effort to make the marriage work.

 

6.Do something special together

You can set a day weekly aside according to your schedules. 

  • Spend this day with your partner. 
  • You can decide to get dressed up and go out to a restaurant for a fun date. 
  • You can also decide to stay in, order take out and watch movies all day. 

The important thing is to spend quality time doing something special. Use this time to connect and bond with your spouse and talk about erotic opportunities. 

How to save your marriage requires effort from both parties though. 

Long-term relationships have their struggles and nothing is ever smooth sailing all the time. 

You both need to come to the decision that the marriage is failing and needs some work. 

Avoid talking to external parties about your partner, unless they are trained professionals. 

Address all issues with your spouse within the week, as communication is key.

If you need further help with how to save your marriage, please visit us or another licensed professional marital therapy. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Easiest Way to Tie Wrists! [DOUBLE COLUMN TIE TUTORIAL!]

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Easiest Way to Tie Wrists! [DOUBLE COLUMN TIE TUTORIAL!]

 

So you want to learn the easiest way to tie wrists together and perform the double column tie?

In many videos with bondage, the wrists tied together is a desired outcome.

If you don’t know much about tying rope, watch the entire shibari kinbaku video here, until the end where we show the easiest way to tie wrists together.

Listen to the tips ahead of time, to ensure you understand how to do the double column tie.

Also, watch tied up sex video for advanced moves on how to get the most out of your kinbaku or rope bondage and tie experience.

I have created this video with the goal of teaching you how to tie wrists together easily and simply.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

 

GET THE BEDROOM NEGOTIATIONS VANILLA & KINK CHECKLIST!

https://qrzbdtau.pages.infusionsoft.net  ←HERE

 

Watch more:

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Learn The Buzz about Using a Vibrator

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Learn The Buzz about Using a Vibrator 

 

Many people have reported to me that using a vibrator seems too taboo for them. 

They report that they cannot wrap their mind around why you would need one. Or who would have the ovaries to buy one. 

Sometimes though, I think it is important to know what you could be missing out on. 

 

Who is with me that vibrators are a magical invention?

The key to awesome sex, even with yourself, is savoring sensations rather than solely chasing the orgasm. 

Start slow. Set the scene. Make sure you will have privacy. 

Use the vibrator to stimulate various parts of the body and tune into the sensations. We have found it does not matter necessarily on the style, size, or type they all do the same job. 

 

Here are some ways to utilize your vibrator:

cles around the clit which can cause stimulation in different ways with each woman. What might work for you might not for your partner or best friend.

  • Direct Hit- For a less sensitive clit, or at stages when the clit likes more direct stimulation, many women say circles right one the exposed clit felt wonderful. To do this, you can get the hood out of the way if the clit is a hider, either by lifting the entire pubic hair area upward with a hand. Or by pushing just the area right above the hood skin upward with the side of your thumb while using your vibrator.
  • On the Hood- Keeping the touch above the line, on the hood skin, without the circle ever touching the exposed clit beneath. The part of the skin that you touch and keep contact with is really important. Holding high on the hood feels less intense than holding lower down, near the bottom edge of the hood. This is similar to layering. Adding more layers between the vibrator, and the clit itself can help lessen the intensity of your vibrator.
  • Off and On (the hood)- Many women prefer circles that mostly stay on the hood and then occasionally swipe and glide below it, to include part of the clitoral gland that may be peaking out as exposed. The upper clit gets soft pressure through the hood, giving the exposed clit a small break between each time it is touched. This method seems to be a favorite with a vibrator, as you can use the vibrations to expand the pleasure and add shallowing techniques in as well.
  • Staying away- the least intense way to orbit the clit is to stay far away from it. Gliding in gentle circles that stay above, below, and to the sides of the hood and clit and never touch the exposed clit directly. Some women feel the vibration itself is satisfying without being overwhelming and this is a great way to ease into your first vibrator. 

Easing into your first experience can be overwhelming. Start out slow, and layering is one way we recommend breaking the ice.

Layering is where you put “layers” between your touch with the vibrator. And the clit or area you want to stimulate.

Laying it on thick – Through fabric this is the least direct way to touch the clit. Women prefer pressure and massage up on the triangle where the pubic hair is (or was— you are allowed to do with your hair what you please). Stroke all around this area called the mons pubic region. 

This area is on top of a nerve network that’s connected to the clit. Remember the exposed part of the clit is simply the tip of an iceberg. And there is a lot more going on below the surface all around it.

 

The Clit Sandwich- Yes this is a real thing!

1 in 5 women prefer squeezing the outer lips together around the clit like a sandwich. People also report liking this sensation in partnered sex with same sex or other sex partners! 

Why? The clit gets more subtle, indirect pressure. Because it goes through the thin hood skin and the thick skin of the lips. Some move the sandwich up and down or pull it out and push it in, so the skin inside slides back and forth around the slit.

Adding your vibrator to this technique, even on the outer lips, can create a unique stimulation.

Layering with a vibrator can help you achieve multiple orgasms. And even lessen the touch/sensation for the rebuild for the second orgasm.

So, adding a vibrator into your relationship can become a rewarding experience for you and others. Knowing your body will help give you a more satisfying experience.

I believe a vibrator can change around a sex life. Only if you are open to experiments with time and techniques as you learn. 

No matter the vibrator location on your body, the satisfaction you achieve while using it is all that matters. 

By starting out curious, you will be able to learn your body and what you like. And dislike the more you explore with your vibrator.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Are You Using Vibrators Safely?

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Are You Using Vibrators Safely?

 

Vibrators are in some ways the ideal sex toy. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. They come at different speeds, different intensities and are available for any budget.

However, like any toy, vibrators must be used safely and smartly to ensure a pleasurable experience and health.

Whether you are dealing with a penis, vagina or anus, vibrators can enhance your sexual pleasure. Solo or as a part of sex with others. There are some things to consider to ensure you are not hurting yourself or exposing yourself to harmful chemicals.

 

Materials

vibrators

The materials used for vibrators can vary from cheap plastics to silky silicones to even glass, metal or crystal. Most toys are constructed with pleasure and sensation in mind and sometimes neglect legitimate safety concerns in order to create something that feels good- or can be made cheaply.

Some of the softeners that make plastic vibrators smooth and flexible are actually harmful chemicals that may harm your body. BPA, phthalates, PVC, and Bisphenol A are just a few of the materials used. These are recognized both internationally and in the USA as having harmful effects on hormone production. 

This has been known to lead to myriad issues, so knowing what your vibrators are made of is no small matter. 

The porosity of the vibrators (if it has pores like a sponge, that is not a good material for a sex toy) is a crucial factor in determining if this toy is made of safe materials. 

When playing with vibrators, it is important to keep them clean. And a high porosity material is more likely to absorb and transmit infections, viruses, bacteria and yeasts that are stuck in the material despite cleaning. 

Porous materials to avoid include PVC, rubber, jelly and any rigid, cheap plastics. 

Medical grade silicone, glass, and surgical steel are options that are less porous and less likely to absorb bacteria that you don’t want to expose to your mucous membranes.

If you use vibrators made from those more porous materials, consider adding a condom to your vibrator to prevent potential exposure to chemicals and bacteria.

 

Shapes

vibrators

There are vibrators like the magic wand that do not go into the body. They are used for external touching. 

We have an entire blog coming out about learning the buzz on how to use that type of vibrator so stay tuned. 

If you are using insertion vibrators to pleasure yourself – be sure to get the right type for the right oraffice. 

For those who want insertion anally, you must use vibrators with a flared base.

You would be surprised how much suction there is when you penetrate the anus, and non-flared toys can easily get sucked up before you notice.

Prevent a trip to the ER and use vibrators with either two prongs or a flared base to avoid “losing” the toy inside yourself. 

That said, if you have used a toy and it is stuck, do not try to remove it yourself. Go to the ER to avoid fissures and internal damage, and don’t worry, those nurses have truly seen everything before.

If you are using vibrators anally or vaginally, I advise training yourself to the size you ultimately desire. 

Aim a little smaller than you think you can handle, and use lots and lots of lube. 

Eventually you can work your way up to more girthy toys, just know your limits so you can stretch safely instead of tearing or ripping!

As with any sex toy, make sure that you have vibrators with smooth sides. No sharp or pointy edges and that all the parts are secure and won’t fall off in an unfortunate location.

 

Hygiene & Cleaning

The most important safety tip of all is to keep your vibrators clean! Ideally clean them before and after use, though you should definitely clean them every time before use.

It also helps if you are clean too! While you don’t need to be fresh from the shower, using a wet wipe can clear away any debris that may get into the wrong places when things get heated. This is a personal call, if you feel clean enough for your own comfort that is all that matters. Just ensure you never use your vibrators on your anus and genitals during the same session without cleaning in between.

Just a reminder that porous materials (jelly, PVC, cyberskin) will not ever be totally clean. However if you insist on using them try to clean them thoroughly with mild fragrance-free soap and hot water. You can also use an antibacterial spray made especially for sex toys as an added precaution.

vibrators

 

Here is how to properly wash your vibrators:

  1. Remove any batteries.
  2. If your vibrator is rechargeable, has batteries or isn’t marked as “waterproof,” do not submerge your toy into the water completely. Trust me – they are not all waterproof and will break.
  3. Wash the vibrators gently with hot water and a mild, fragrance free soap. Dish soap is a suitable alternative if you avoid brands that contain perfumes. Really try to get into every curve, nook and cranny to remove any potential bacteria.
  4. Rinse off the soap with hot water and dry off your toy with a clean towel or put it out on a windowsill in the sun to dry.
  5. Put the batteries back in, and store your vibrators in a cool, dry place.

Please do not let your vibrators touch one another, as some toys will eat away at one another. 

Another hygiene tip: don’t share sex toys with new partners without using condoms on them. And clean before sharing even with usual partners. 

STI’s and other infections can be passed along with toys the same as they are passed along with skin to skin contact.

 

Safety Reminders for Fun, Pleasurable Vibrator Use

Here is a roundup of advice for using your vibrators in a way that is fun, pleasurable and safe!

  •   Purchase vibrators made from body safe, non porous materials such as silicone to ensure that your toys can be cleaned properly
  •   Avoid cheap plastics, rubber and jelly vibrators to ensure you’re not being exposed to harmful chemicals
  •   Use vibrators with flared bases if you plan on using them for anal insertion
  •   Don’t use a vibrator that is too big without working up to the size with time, stretching and lots of lube.
  •   Make sure your vibrator is free of sharp edges, pointy ends and cracks to avoid injuries and infections.
  •   Clean your vibrators before and after use with hot, soapy water.

If you follow these tips, you’ll ensure your vibrators are always ready for fun when you are!

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Discover Why Anger ISN’T Hot! [HOW-TO USE ANGER EFFECTIVELY!]

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Discover Why Anger ISN’T Hot! [HOW-TO USE ANGER EFFECTIVELY!]

 

So you want to learn more about why anger isn’t hot or sexy?

If your emotional needs are not met, I have created this video on how to understand why you may be feeling anger, and when you are angry, how to use that anger more effectively and to your benefit.

In this video, I’ll teach you how to understand the emotion of anger, break it down for you to understand angry feelings and what to do with them, and stay until the end if you want our new guide to go even further!

Anger is about boundaries and crossing them. Angry is something that often is complex to understand when you are in it, so take a time out!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

 

Get the “2021 Communication Guide”

https://bkib2xu0.pages.infusionsoft.net​ ←HERE

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

When Your Wife or Husband is a Flirt Should You Take It Seriously?

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When Your Wife or Husband is a Flirt Should You Take It Seriously?

 

When you find out that your husband or wife flirts, how you respond is based on context. Marriage often comes with an expectation of exclusivity. Therefore, it is only normal that you assume your husband or wife will only do certain things with you.

While exclusivity – regarding intimacy – is supposed to be the norm in marriages, it is unfortunately not that easy.

 

Were They Flirtatious When You First Met?

If you were drawn to your spouse because of their attention-giving nature, then you should probably find it normal that they’re still the same.

Maybe you fell in love with your wife because of the way she brushed your arm whenever she talked to you. It could also be that you were attracted to your husband because he knows how to make women feel on top of the world. In these cases, you may have to worry about nothing.

Getting the attention of others, maybe your husband’s or wife’s way of expressing him/herself. If your spouse has always been keen to respond to the opposite sex nicely, it may help you if you can relax and enjoy their good nature. If you can’t help it, tell them how the act makes you feel, instead of working by assumptions and making your marriage difficult.

 

You May Not Be Giving Them Enough Attention

Think about this: are you giving your spouse the attention they need and flirting with them? If not, maybe they are resorting to flirting to fill their significance need.

You may be a woman who is passionate about her career and spend little time with your spouse. Or, maybe you’re a man focused on your family and not noticing your partner. 

In any case, every human being – especially extroverts – loves to receive and give attention. And suppose you are not available to indulge your spouse. In that case, they may unconsciously begin to get and give attention to any member of the opposite sex that is always ‘available.’ They may do this even when there is no intention to be unfaithful to you.

So if you are always on the move and find out your spouse is a flirt, consider making out more time to be with them.

 

It Could be a Self-Esteem Problem

If your wife or husband flirts as a means to give their self-esteem a boost, then it could be categorized as a serious problem. When people need others’ validation or attention to feel good about themselves, it means something is wrong somewhere.

It is up to you to help them feel good about themselves, and try to encourage a connection between the two of you. To help your spouse with their self-esteem problem, you must first think about strategies to connect with them that they desire. 

If their self-esteem dropped in the course of your marriage, then you may want to consider the things you (both) are not doing right. Even when there is no misunderstanding between you and your spouse, there could be some disappointments they are probably not telling you. These disappointments could undoubtedly affect the way they see themselves.

 

Is It Towards a Particular Member of the Opposite Sex?

As earlier said, some extroverts may find flirting as a way to express themselves around the opposite sex freely. Most times, these flirtatious behaviors may have no strings attached to them.

However, when you notice that your wife’s or husband’s come-hither expressions are directed to a particular member of the opposite sex, it should be taken seriously. Nevertheless, this shouldn’t be a reason to end your marriage or start to point accusing fingers at your spouse. Do not assume. Please find time to converse with him/her, to get a full grasp of whatever is likely going on.

Also, do not assume the role of an investigator. Monitoring your spouse when you notice that their attention is with someone else doesn’t help. Instead, an open and honest conversion should do the trick here.

 

Did You Set Boundaries About Flirting with your Husband or Wife?

In every relationship – including marriage – boundaries are crucial to maintaining sanity between the parties involved. While you shouldn’t make your marriage a rule-bound mechanical showroom, boundaries will help you agree on what is acceptable and not.

If you fail to set boundaries, having understood each other’s tendencies, you may end up hurting yourselves. Your husband may not know that he hurts you when he gives ‘unnecessary’ attention to other women.

And your wife may not also know that you do not appreciate her having close contact with other men. When you set boundaries, there would be no reason to worry over what your spouse does or does not do with the opposite sex.

 

Does Your Spouse Know How Much You Love Them?

Finally, an affirmation of your love may be all your spouse need to stop giving and receiving attention from other members of the opposite sex. How often do you express how much your husband means to you, and how many times in a day do you compliment your wife’s look?

Well, if you fail to tell your wife how good she looks in her new skirt, try not to feel left out when she smiles at her colleague who does. And if you fail to encourage and strengthen your husband when he achieves a milestone, there are courteous women out there who would do it.

In a nutshell, that you take your spouse’s flirtatious behaviors seriously or not will depend on the two of you. Your reaction will also depend on whether or not you both are doing right by yourselves.

And how well you respect, build, and freely express yourselves towards each other will also tell the kind of response you give to your spouse’s cheeky behavior towards the opposite sex.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

The Secrets to Having Sex in Public

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The Secrets to Having Sex in Public

 

The idea of someone watching you while you have sex in public is hot for many. 

Sure, you are breaking the law, and yes, some rules are meant to be broken. 

The exhibitionist streak in most of us can be strong. Chances are, if you have thought about it, this article already has your thoughts wandering.

If a casual observer can see you, you are in public. Public places include:

  • Parks
  • Public bathrooms
  • Beaches
  • Airports

Having sex in public can be thrilling. 

sex in public

There is a chance that you may get caught, which gets your adrenaline pumping. 

It can be particularly great, and / or challenging, for people in long-term relationships. 

It is unconventional and will definitely spice things up for you.

 

Is Public Sex Legal?

No. 

No matter how thrilling it is, it involves breaking the law. 

You must definitely avoid getting busy with your partner in a park or place where you can get caught. 

The law varies in different governments and countries. 

If arrested, you may be charged with lewdness or public indecency. Possible penalties for this include community service, jail time, and a fine.The worst consequence would be that you get registered as a sex offender – so be cautious! 

Sex in public enables you to get creative. It requires quick and thorough assessment of the situation you are in. You need to find the balance between a public enough place which still gives you privacy. 

The secret to sex in public, or a public romp, charges your body with adrenaline and dopamine. 

Don’t get arrested for chasing a thrill.

 

Where to Have Public Sex

There are a number of places where you can have public sex without getting caught. 

Here are some examples to jog your creativity:

 

  1. Your balcony or backyard – if you are new to public sex, easing into it is a great idea. 

Start on familiar ground. Having sex on your balcony or backyard has the danger of being noticed. You can use patio furniture for support. This will also allow you to try more sex positions. 

Take the first step and get outside.

sex in public

 

  1. The car – your car is a public yet private space. 

What is great about it is you can control where you park it. A secluded parking lot or on the side of the road, the choice is yours. It is best to use the backseat, as there is room in the backseat. 

You must avoid accidentally honking the horn and alerting people. And… yes, this does expose you if you are in a parking lot to arrest. 

 

  1. The woods or park – getting naughty in nature is always a great idea. 

Channel your internal wild one and quietly go into a park or a wooded place with a partner you trust. 

Use trees and bushes to shield you. Having sex near trails and paths will give you a sense of publicity. 

Remember, you need to watch out for poison ivy and tickets, and the danger of getting caught.

 

  1. A sex party – once you begin to get used to the idea of public sex, a sex party should be on your “to-do list.” A sex party is great because it eliminates the danger of being caught. 

You can relax and enjoy “public sex” with your partner.

 

  1. The beach – beach sex is often great at night. 

There is minimal traffic in the dark as compared to daytime. Carry a blanket to lie on, and get ready as sand will get everywhere. You can also use beach chairs or be in a cabana which is extremely sturdy. 

The secret to beach sex is you have to avoid too much movement.

sex in public

 

  1. Bathrooms – pre covid, this is probably the most used place for public sex. 

Examples include at an airport, a hotel or restaurant.

Bathroom sex is for when you just cannot wait till you get home to do it. Public bathrooms can be contaminated with germs. You will need to incorporate some gymnastic skills to get it on. 

You also do not have the luxury to remove a lot of clothing or shoes.

 

Non-Law Breaking Options

Sex in public is risky. In case you are not willing to take part in it, there are ways to incorporate it into your routine. You can take care of your exhibitionist streak and still be within the confines of the law. 

These are shortcuts to be kinky with your partner in public while remaining a law-abiding citizen:

  1. Role play – you can pretend to be in public. This requires lots of imagination. Have sex with your partner ass you would in a public place. Do not get completely naked. You can unzip pants or just hike up a skirt. You should also avoid the bed.

  1. Party sex – this does not mean having a party where people come to have sex at your place, though tempting. You can sneak into a bedroom while hosting a party or event for a quickie. 

Remember to lock the door, since party guests will definitely look for you. 

Have your quickie and go back to your party as if you were not getting it on with your partner.

 

  1. Friends to watch – first off, have a conversation with your friends. 

You may want to start with a couple, or some of your kinkiest buddies. Make sure they are into watching and being watched. You can host these friends to watch you have sex. Also, return the favor and watch them. It is sure to be a fulfilling party.

 

  1. Webcam – taking things virtual in today’s digital world is easy and a safer sex option. 

Set up a webcam and wear a mask if you want to remain anonymous. 

You can have fun on your own or with a partner while strangers watch.

Acting on your fantasies is a great way to remain sexually adventurous. 

Sex in public is a common and usually rewarding fantasy. 

Remember to keep your partner’s needs in mind, especially if they show signs of being uncomfortable, do not continue, and ask to go home and talk about it later. 

You can also just let it remain a fantasy. There is nothing like unmet needs to keep your blood boiling, and the mind often cannot tell the difference between what is powerfully imagined vs. what is real. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

7 Tips for When Emotional Needs Are Not Met

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7 Tips for When Emotional Needs Are Not Met

 

So you want to have your emotional needs met?

If your emotional needs are not met, I have created this video on how to better meet your own needs and advocate on your behalf.

In this video, I’ll teach you how to fix when your emotional needs are not met. Walk you through emotions and needs. And at the end, you will understand the difference between your emotions, your needs, and stay until the end if you want our new guide.

My tips will hopefully break through years of stuckness. And will surely help your emotional needs that are not met, and get you what you want.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Get the “2021 Communication Guide”

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Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What is Seasonal Depression?

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What is Seasonal Depression?

 

Seasonal depression, officially known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, is a kind of depression that happens when the seasons change. Usually, this happens during fall or winter and tends to be the same time of year consistently for each patient.

Seasonal depression can make it difficult to complete work, take exams, or feel like you are living your life with energy and purpose.

 

Symptoms

It is important to note that a lot of the symptoms for seasonal depression are similar to the symptoms of depression in general, with a distinctive difference: the depressive episode appears and disappears around the same time each year. Major depression’s symptoms will not appear and disappear according to a seasonal schedule or seasonal factors, though it may be amplified due to certain seasonal factors at times.

The symptoms for seasonal depression can include:

  •   Feeling sad, despairing for a period of more than two weeks
  •   Impedes your ability to function properly at work, school or in relationships
  •   Losing/gaining weight
  •   Insomnia/irregular sleep
  •   Low self esteem
  •   Fatigue
  •   Pessimism
  •   Irritability
  •   Hopelessness
  •   Feeling slowed down
  •   Feeling agitated
  •   Memory problems
  •   Difficulty Concentrating
  •   Crying without concrete reason (or feeling like you want to but can’t)
  •   Excessive guilt
  •   Loss of interest in work, hobbies
  •   Loss of libido
  •   Hallucinations or strange ideas (delusions)

If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm, it is important to find help right away. Either go to the hospital or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273- TALK(8255).

You may find that you experience a handful of these symptoms on occasion: this is normal! We all feel sad, uncertain and exhausted at times. What makes these symptoms a sign of seasonal depression is when it is ongoing for two or more weeks and seems to appear the same time of year or with the changing of the seasons.

 

Who Can Get Seasonal Depression?

Anyone can get seasonal depression, regardless of gender, race or social class, however some factors may increase your risk of seasonal depression.

Risk factors include:

  •   Being female/AFAB. Women are far more likely to be diagnosed with seasonal depression, though it is unclear if this is due to biological factors, social factors or both.
  •   Seasonal depression is more common amongst people who live either far north or far south of the equator, where the seasonal changes are most drastic.
  •   The younger you are, the more at risk you are for seasonal depression. Thankfully, the risk decreases with age.
  •   A family history of seasonal depression may increase your chances of experiencing seasonal depression yourself.

 

What Causes Seasonal Depression?

There is still some mystery surrounding depression in general as well as seasonal depression. Some prevailing theories believe that seasonal depression is triggered by the changes in daylight that occur with the changing of the seasons, particularly in the fall and winter when daylight hours are significantly reduced.

The thought is that the amount of daylight affects your biological clock, your circadian rhythm, and therefore disrupts your sleeping and waking patterns. It is also possible that the change in light affects your neurotransmitter functions.

Neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin are chemical signals that send messages from a nerve cell to a target cell to accomplish specific functions. For example, serotonin regulates functions like sleep, learning, appetite, and mood and may play a part in depression. This is of course a simplification for the purposes of this article, just know that certain neurological functions can be deeply affected by either too much or too little of specific neurotransmitters.

While we may not fully understand what causes seasonal depression (yet!), there are many treatments available with the help of a therapist, self care and perhaps even medication.

 

How Your Therapist Can Help

A therapist can help you find ways to cope with your seasonal depression by giving you techniques and tricks to break negative thought patterns, identify issues and learn to cope with your symptoms. Many find that talk therapy can help them eliminate symptoms altogether.  

Booking an appointment with a therapist is a great way to start your journey to feeling better. You don’t need to suffer alone or feel like your problem is unimportant, there is always something that can be done and your therapist can help you create an action plan.

If your symptoms are debilitating and severe, a psychiatrist can determine if medication is a good way to treat your seasonal depression.

 

What You Can Do

In addition to talking with a therapist, there are some things you can do that may help ease your symptoms.

  •   Light therapy. There are many lamps on the market that are created to help people with seasonal depression get more light exposure. It mimics daylight, and typically you use the light for 30 minutes to a couple hours during the day. Many people find this relieves their symptoms or improves their quality of life.
  •   Exercise can be a great way to increase circulation, get a boost of energy and get more light exposure if you choose to exercise outdoors.
  •   Meditation. Simple mind meditations can help you identify your feelings and better cope with the ebb and flow of emotions that can feel debilitating at times. Learning to acknowledge feelings without feeling victim to them can help with depression and anxiety.
  •   Try to cover the basics and celebrate small victories. Do whatever you can to ensure you have meals, maintain hygiene, and get to bed at a decent time. Covering your basic needs is a huge accomplishment when you are suffering from seasonal depression. So, be kind to yourself and celebrate small victories. Honestly, a therapist can help you create an action plan if needed.

It is also important (and easier said than done) to try and maintain some sort of social connection. This can be done by a simple phone call, texting, or a video chat if you can’t or don’t feel like leaving home.

Seasonal depression is nothing to be ashamed of, especially if you are in one of the high risk groups mentioned above. Book an appointment with a therapist to increase your quality of life during the cold, dreary months.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Visit The Sexiest Places on Earth

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Visit The Sexiest Places on Earth

You can visit the sexiest places on earth once the pandemic is over if you’re looking to spice up your love life?

With the vaccine on the horizon, it’s time to consider visiting the sexiest places once we are able to! 

Spicing up your love life is an essential part of your relationship to prevent boredom and loneliness. Sometimes, one or both of the individuals in a relationship become bored when you’re both not doing anything different, interesting, or fun.

Today, we will discuss visiting the sexiest places on earth to give you a fantasy to project with your partner(s) in the future! 

Before choosing any place, be sure that you both love the location. If you already know where your partner wants to go, telling them you want to plan a vacation is a great way to make it more exciting (don’t make it a surprise though – get consent!) 

Turks and Caicos (Grace Bay)

First up, Turks and Caicos are only a flight away from Miami. I have been told that the sand is gorgeous, the people are fun, and that the islands offers you an amazing chain of coral islands in the Atlantic, southeast of the Bahamas.

Sexiest Places on Earth

One of the sexiest places on earth, Grace Bay beach apparently has the largest underwater cave system in the whole of the Caribbean. Therefore, that makes it one of the coolest places on earth as well. 

Exotic, colorful rays, turtles, and fish in the calm azure waters and one of the best diving in the world are some of the beautiful experiences that await you and your partner in this location.

If all you want is to have a great time relaxing and soak in the sexiest vibes, you can choose from a world-class spa even to enjoy some exfoliation or massage sessions.

France (Saint-Tropez)

Forget Paris, France for visiting, and go to Saint Tropez instead. It is a popular destination visited by some of the hottest celebrities in the world.

Many wealthy and famous celebrities have visited this destination for decades. Exotic places like “Plage de Tahiti” I have heard is a hot place where you can soak up in the sun and enjoy your tan without bothering about tan lines. If you also want to enjoy some tasty local cuisine, you have several exclusive restaurants to choose from.

It’s on my list of places to visit at some point!

 

Greece (Mykonos Island)

Ohhhh…. Greece! How glorious! Mykonos Island is an island that is known as an adult’s playground. I have a friend that has a home there, and they talk about how beautiful it is. 

It is specially designated for the sexy and sophisticated who need R&R (Rest and Recreation).

You can find some of the hottest nightlife and stylish boutiques on Mykonos Island. It is also home to exquisite beaches like Psarrou, Paradise, and Super Paradise beaches.

If you love a party, unlike me, this is an excellent location for you and your partner as the party starts in the afternoon at Paradise beach and lasts throughout the night.

 

Grenada (Laluna)

Also known as the Island of Spice (not just sensual spice), Laluna has been producing different kinds of spices, including ginger, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg, for export worldwide. It sounds spicy… and sexy for sure! Everyone likes an aphrodisiac. 

 

Vail Village

Vail Village is one of the world’s top ski locations, which offers a jaw-dropping mountain setting for cuddling up with your partner. Cuddling is sexy, and it is enticing because of how it helps your brain and body start to build connection. Especially, if you are skiing and moving during the day. 

So you warm-blooded folx like me understand, this location also offers you an after-ski snuggling and / or romantic sleigh ride with your partner to a beautiful dinner where you can also have a cozy night together. Even in winter, there is romance here! 

 

Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Buenos Aires is a sultry city well known for its outstanding cuisine, European-style boulevards, hopping nightlife, rich red wine, and sexy dance moves. Dance floors are found both indoors and outdoors, where dancers of all ages and levels of experience mingle. The people of Buenos Aires are all about having a good time throughout the night.

Our intake coordinator, Dany, knows much more about this location than I do, and if you want more tips on what to visit, you can message her!

 

Seychelles

With over 115 small islands, deserted beaches, and other interesting spots to have an alone time together, Seychelles is a great spot to reignite the spark in your relationship. It seems to be a little more unique than Hawaii! 

Fregate Island is another private isle where you can enjoy a private time and enjoy your sexy escape. Enjoy the amazing beaches, romantic dining locations, and a unique treehouse sitting in one of the largest and oldest banyan trees on the island.

 

Thailand (Koh Samui)

This location is just one hour from Bangkok. It offers you a sexy and amazing vision of your desired escape with the golden sands sitting at the shore of the glistening waters in all shades of blue and green you can imagine.

Lively bars, delicious bowls of noodles, and Thai massage are a few of the many things you can enjoy here. If you want to have some nice dance time with your partner, the clubs around Chaweng Beach Road offers one of the most amazing dance parties. The Amari Palm Reef Hotel also provides you with a beautiful sight of the sunset – although I have never been there – I have read about! 

 

Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

The hot beaches and beautiful people in Rio de Janeiro make it one of the sexiest places you can visit on earth.

It boasts of stunning landscapes and beaches like Ipanema, where different beach activities take place. You don’t want to miss this spot if you want to have an unforgettable getaway experience.

A few honorable mentions:

  • Los Angeles, US- For dating, sexual satisfaction, and great attitudes towards relationships; visit Los Angeles.
  • Liverpool, UK – This is the perfect place for dating, love, and reigniting your love flame.
  • Dublin, Ireland – Dublin is known for its Irish accent, one of the sexiest accents in the world. This may be the ideal place to spice things up.
  • Zurich, Switzerland- Many hot spots for unforgettable sexual experiences abound in this location. It is an excellent place to consider.
  • Cape Town, South Africa- Cape Town is another place you may want to consider if you want to have a pleasurable time with your partner.

So, in conclusion, there are many sexy places in different parts of our earth. Our suggestion is that if you plan to visit and plan a memorable time with your significant other, that you can keep your love burning and rekindle the spark!

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How To Dominant Him In Bed [5 Ways to Dominate a Man]

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How To Dominant Him In Bed [5 Ways to Dominate a Man]

 

Have you ever wondered how to be more dominant in bed as a guy or how to be more dominant in bed as a woman? Learn how to dominate him and how to be more dominant in bed with these 5 tips.

Address how to be dominant in our favorite place of the bedroom!

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining us for this fun topic.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

DOWNLOAD OUR “BEHIND THE SCENES OF COMMUNICATION” GUIDE

https://gn91oeao.pages.infusionsoft.net ←HERE

 

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

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How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

 

How long do sexless marriages last is a question that many couples that are in sexless marriages ask. Even though it isn’t very obvious, more marriages suffer sex-related issues than is envisaged.

To ascertain what happens in a sexless marriage, let’s start with a clear description of what a sexless marriage entails.

A sexless marriage is one in which sex is not exactly frequent between the couple involved. Most experts categorize this frequency as anything less than ten times within a year. For some marriages, being sexless can mean the lack of sexual intimacy for even as few as a few weeks.

How long a sexless marriage will last depends largely on the couple and the conditions surrounding their relationship. Since people are different, there can be no general predictions for how long marriages will stay without sex.

Outcomes should be based on the people involved, their dispositions, natural makeup, and the mutual agreement between them.

For marriages that do not hinge their intimacy and bonding on sexual activities. Staying sexless may not make lots of difference.

On the other hand, couples whose closeness is mostly dependent on sex may find it difficult to cope in a sexless marriage.

There are different reasons why a marriage bed can become void of sexual activities. And these reasons determine, to a large extent, how long the marriage can thrive without sex.

 

Low Sex Drive Due to Health Issues on One Partner

Sometimes, health problems can affect the sexual orientation of a marriage. One partner may have physical or mental health problems that take a toll on their sex drive. In this case, the other partner may understand the situation and make efforts to keep the marriage going.

If both partners understand each other and are willing to make efforts towards other home-building activities in the marriage. It will only be a matter of time for the condition to improve.

How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

 

When Other Things Are More Important Than Sex to the Couple

While most couples view sex as an activity crucial for their relationship’s survival, others do not hold the same view. Some married folks are very comfortable running their day-to-day activities from the same house, without paying attention to lovemaking.

Some regard sex as a fun act to indulge in once in a while, as they go about other activities together. These activities could be child upbringing, work, business, or even studies. For a good number of others, sex may not be among the vital reasons they came together in the first place.

Most contract marriages and people who married for financial or social status purposes may also not view sex as something necessary to keep the marriage going. Provided the initial conditions of interest are still present.

So, for couples who mutually agree to focus on bonding through means other than sex. Their marriage will undoubtedly last for as long as the agreement remains.

If, however, one partner decides otherwise, a compromise has to be made for divorce not to become the imminent outcome of such marriage.

 

Low Sex Drive From Both Ends

Generally, when one partner has a greater sex drive than the other, the union may end up suffering. However, when the two people involved desire sex less often,  their marriage can be as normal as one in which both partners experience greater urges for sex.

In fact, for partners who both have very little desire to get sexually engaged. Having sex less than ten times every year may not constitute much of a big deal for them. And since no partner ever gets to feel neglected or unsatisfied, there would be no need to go over-the-top to impress anyone.

 

 Underlying Problems

When a marriage relationship becomes sexless due to emotional or communication problems between the couple. Then there is a slimmer chance of survival for such marriage.

Problems that could cause partners to want less of each other physically include infidelity, lack of communication, unsettled arguments. And abrupt changes in one spouse’s behavior.

Trying to get intimate without solving the problems causing the divide may make no difference to the marriage’s life span. Hence, how long a sexless marriage lasts, in this case, will depend on how soon the couple can settle their differences and ignite the flames in their sex lives.

 

Neglect from One Partner

Life can also take its toll on a marriage and turn it sexless overtime. Sometimes, married folks can get too busy with work, school, or child care to pay attention to each other. And if leaving out sex is not mutually agreed upon by both partners, the less active partner may begin to feel neglected and sexually starved.

In most divorce cases, due to sexual dissatisfaction, it is usually found that one partner is usually at the receiving end of the dissatisfaction. The marriage unavoidably comes to an end when the affected partner can no longer keep up with the neglect.

Hence, a marriage that gets stripped of intimacy due to neglect from one partner may never recover if the defaulter does not realize and make an effort to revive sex in their relationship. However, there could still be hope for such a marriage if the problem could be communicated and resolved.

In a Nutshell, the question: ‘how long do sexless marriages last?’ should be rightly answered in the light of the circumstances surrounding the marriage. And the obvious answer should be however long you are willing to be within it.

If you both are sexless and enjoy that, you can last until death do you part. But If one of you wants sex, it probably has about a 2-5 year breaking point from the time someone brings up sex as a problem.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

What is Physical Attractiveness?

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What is Physical Attractiveness?

 

When it comes to dating and romance, there are many factors about physical attractiveness that play into selecting a new mate. 

Television, media, and peer influences also play into how we choose a new partner aside from personal preferences. 

Physical attractiveness has clear impacts on social interactions. Yet the greatest effects of attractiveness are perhaps in the realm of dating opportunities, romantic attractions, and romantic relationships. 

I remember growing up watching Baywatch fantasizing about one of the physically fit male lifeguards rescuing me. 

Television made it seem as if having six pack abs was the best thing for you, not to mention the character who usually had them was dreamy. 

Even going at lengths to discover how Pamela Anderson got her body so I would look more like her.

Physical Attractiveness

Also, not being able to wait for the next Cosmopolitan or Seventeen magazine to be published so we could all drool over the models in there.

The importance physical attractiveness is learned early in life, with children highly aware of the cultural criteria for attractiveness. Even young children know of the importance of societal requirements for attractiveness and what those standards are.

Sociocultural influences are important in determining adolescents’ standards of beauty, particularly regarding physique. And in suggesting how important appearance should be in their lives. Such influences include the messages and images portrayed by the media. As well as input from peers, family members, schools, and others in adolescents’ social surroundings. Attractive young people are widely portrayed in the media and television shows, and strongly influence young adults.

The role of the media is argued to be a particularly important factor in determining body image concerns, with research focusing on the thin ideal for females. And perceived pressure from the media to achieve a thin body image. It has been commonly noted that the physically attractive stereotype for females that is transmitted in the media includes a thin body shape that is unrealistic for most to attain. 

When asking men in today’s society what it means to be physically attractive, a wide array of answers might come to fruit. Think of it like speed dating, and you are only getting to know someone on the surface and must make a choice of whether or not to date them.

One research speed-dating event, pairs of men and women chatted for a 5-min period. After the time was up, the men rotated to the next woman. Before starting the next conversation, participants rated their attraction to the person they just met. The researchers found that physical attractiveness of the partner was the strongest predictor of initial attraction for both men and women.

Physical Attractiveness

As we age it is hard to maintain these stereotypes of thinness or six pack abs. Why doesn’t the media portray more realistic goals for men and women to obtain? Personally, the older I get, the harder it is to maintain the same weight let alone physique. What makes a curvy woman not physically attractive? I mean Marilyn Monroe was super curvy and not “thin” by media standards, but she was a huge sex icon.

The imperfectness is what makes us human and more of a reachable goal to obtain. Sure, when I was in my teens, I fell for the media brainwashing me to think I was not healthy or attractive being I was not skinny like a model.

My confidence was shaken, and I felt like no one in a million years would physically be attracted to me. As I grew up my curves and imperfections, became what made me more desirable. I also changed as a person as well. I stopped believing in what the “perfect” man was. At one-point I think having the perfect washboard abs and toned muscles was my knight in shining armor. Now, I love my partner no matter how physically fit they are. I just want them healthy.

Sexiness is in the eye of the beholder. I have been known to cause my partners to gain a little more weight when we date due to my love for cooking. Screw the stereotypes and find your own definition of what is sexy.

Eventually we all grow out of the sociocultural influences of what is desirable and create our own. Healthiness is the most important quality in a relationship. A partner who has a dad/mom bod is way more attractive and sexier being they are healthy and safe. Being healthy is what the media and television should focus more on because it is reality. Healthy comes in many shapes and sizes. Physical attractiveness stereotypes are hard to see at a young age. But as we age some of them becomes less important than they were when we were kids. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.