Things Toxic Partners Say & What to Do About It

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Things Toxic Partners Say & What to Do About It

 

There are certain things toxic partners will say, and knowing them might help you react in a more beneficial way. That said, it’s important to distinguish being toxic from being assertive or struggling with other issues in your life. For instance, you are not toxic if you set healthy boundaries with your partner that make you feel safe, yet treating your partner miserable because they are not behaving how you expect them to would be considered a toxic behavior, especially if you’re doing it regularly. 

So, let’s look at things only a toxic partner would say and the best ways to react to each type of toxicity. Use them as red flags in your relationship. However, keep in mind that context plays a key role here, and comforting your partner can help you understand their reasons as well. 

 

What Is a Toxic Relationship?

When two partners injure one other in some way, whether by intention or not, the relationship is considered toxic. Sometimes, manipulative tactics or intentional abuse in a relationship leave one spouse feeling stuck or worn out. These behaviors were likely picked up throughout childhood or experienced as an adult, and no alternative behavioral expectations have been set.

When a relationship is toxic, it may take time and consideration for the parties involved to resolve their differences and foster greater trust. Others may only be that they are great people individually, yet poor match when together. Although both situations might happen simultaneously, it’s vital to distinguish between a toxic relationship and calling a spouse toxic.

Even while toxic relationships can take many various forms, some indications might include emotional manipulation, mutual contempt, or feeling alone even when you’re with someone. In this list, you will find signs of a potentially toxic relationship:

  • One person feels disrespected.
  • The needs are not met for one or both partners.
  • Communication is a challenge in your relationship.
  • One partner gives more than the other.
  • One partner feels resentment towards the other.
  • The self-esteem of one partner or both is deteriorating.
  • One partner feels stressed, frustrated, or scared around the other.
  • One partner takes responsibility for the happiness of the other. 
  • There is an excess of jealousy. 

 

Toxic Phrases Couples Should Avoid

There are certain things you can say to your romantic partner that will not benefit either of you. As something that requires trust and respect, your relationship needs nurturing words and behaviors to grow. 

If you wish to stay away from toxicity, the phrases that are mentioned below should not be used in your relationship.

 

  1. “You don’t deserve me.”

Contemptuous language tells your spouse that you think they are inferior to you. This can lower their self-esteem and interest in being intimate with you in any way. 

 

  1. “Everything is fine.”

Partners are prevented from directly and openly discussing their difficulties by passive-aggressive rhetoric. This makes it challenging to solve conflicted situations and may give both partners a sense of insecurity.

 

  1. “You’re stupid.” 

Name-calling reduces a person to a single negative trait. We should all treat one another as a person with various qualities. Whatever the reason, this will not produce anything positive in your relationship. There are other ways to communicate you disagree with how they say or do something, and name-calling is never a solution. 

 

  1. “I hate you.”

It’s harmful to use language that expresses your feelings at a tense, emotional time that doesn’t reflect how you feel overall. Even when you’re happy with your relationship, it overgeneralizes fleeting emotions and breeds insecurity. How can you say that you hate someone and expect them to believe you when you say you love them the next day?

 

  1. “I want to break up with you.”

Language like “I’m leaving,” “I’m done,” or “I want to break up” implies the end of your relationship can have a negative tool on both your partner and your relationship. If you feel like a flight risk, your partner could find it difficult to trust you, which restricts intimacy. Also, if you threaten to leave and then not leave, they will probably not be willing to talk to you about it anymore. 

 

A Path to a Healthier Communication

Communication is a skill. When communicating with another human being, you should always communicate in a way that benefits both of you. If you both are willing to change, there are ways to improve the relationship. By establishing sound limits and improving your self-awareness, you may manage these relationships more effectively.

 

  1. Have Long, Honest Conversations

Be honest and direct with your spouse about your feelings and responsibilities. Intimacy between spouses improves by having these discussions on time and dividing the workload. Pick a moment when you are both refreshed so that these talks can be meaningful and productive.

  1. Leave Past in the Past

You can’t go forward if you keep thinking about your past errors. The past is beyond our control, and dwelling on it will prevent us from being present. Spend some time processing the past so that you are not forced to think about it while you try to move your relationship ahead.

  1. Take Responsibility for Your Actions and Words

Accepting full responsibility for abusive behavior is a crucial factor in whether a toxic relationship can change. In unstable relationships, denial is a common trait, and in intervention programs, denial is the primary clinical problem. A person won’t change if they refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem. You both need to be completely honest and accept full responsibility for the hurt you are causing. More importantly, you have to work persistently for a significant amount of time to try and put things right for a relationship to recover. Promises or cheap apologies simply won’t cut it.

  1. Look at Your Partner with Compassion 

Despite how difficult it may be, we must remember that our partners are also people, and as such, they make errors and have had relationships before us. It’s critical to keep it in mind and understand their difficulties. It’s crucial to approach your partner with compassion because it enables you to perceive them as a real partner rather than as the enemy. When there is a disagreement, showing compassion can significantly improve communication and make a difference.

 

Final Words

Some people find that leaving unhealthy relationships is the best course of action. If your relationship affects your health and well-being, you must do something about it. When there is an abuse of any kind, it’s critical to understand to protect yourself. Seek the assistance of a therapist and create an escape strategy so you can depart securely. 

If you have tried couples therapy and believe you have shown patience and made changes and are still not happy, it may be time to leave the relationship. This can be a difficult thing to do and a difficult decision to make. It can take some time to accept the fact that certain people are just not compatible. Whatever your situation is, make sure you do the best for yourself!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

how to flirt

Master the Art of How To Flirt With Someone New: Techniques for Effortless Charm

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Master the Art of How To Flirt With Someone New: Techniques for Effortless Charm

 

The question of how to flirt is one that many people who are dating consider.

Flirting is a cute way to express interest in and attraction toward someone, and it can be entertaining for both of you.

There is no one way to flirt that is superior to the others, as long as all adults are on the same page.

It is up to the person you flirt with to express interest in your approach. In other words, ask them directly if they don’t seem interested. If they say they don’t want to flirt with you, then leave them alone.

 

When they say yes, then use the following how to flirt strategies: 

  • You will come across as more attractive if you are self-assured and upbeat.
  • Establish eye contact: Looking someone in the eye while communicating interest and attraction is a powerful strategy.
  • Face the person you are flirting with and connect your left eye to your left eye to convey nice body language.
  • Employ interesting language, such as by making jokes or complimenting others.
  • Discover a common ground To start a conversation with the person you’re flirting with, use an interest you both have in common.
  • Pay attention to what the person you’re flirting with has to say to convey that you’re actually interested.
  • Act with attention and respect for the other person’s constraints.

Remember that flirting is a two-way street, and show respect for the other person’s feelings by acknowledging and accepting their choice if they choose not to pursue you. It’s necessary to flirt in a kind and respectful manner.

If someone doesn’t like the way you’re flirting with them, you need to respect their sentiments and boundaries.

 

These are some things to keep in mind:

  • Whenever someone expresses displeasure with the way you flirt, thoroughly consider their feedback and make an effort to understand it.
  • If you’ve offended someone, apologize and take ownership of your actions.
  • Refrain: It’s important to respect someone’s boundaries and stop making advances if they appear uninterested.
  • Remember that flirting should always be voluntary to avoid pressuring someone into responding favorably to your attempts.
  • Notice others: See the criticism you received as a chance to grow and learn. Use it to improve your flirting skills moving ahead with those adults that consent to it. 

Speak with a specialist if you are struggling to respect other people’s boundaries and behave appropriately around them. If you see a pattern where no one wants to flirt with you, yet you want to, seek feedback from dating therapists and social skills training. 

Remember, it’s important to know that everyone has a different tolerance for flirting. In other words, not everyone will be open to your advances.

Respect their feelings and move on if someone tells you they’re not interested in you. How to flirt is only a guide if the person consents, because without that, you are not going to be making any connections. 

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Divorce Therapists: Your Way to Healing Resources & Solutions 💔

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Divorce Therapists: Your Way to Healing Resources & Solutions 💔

 

Going through a divorce is one of the most difficult experiences in a person’s life, so consider hiring divorce therapists to help. It’s critical to have support and guidance during this time, which divorce therapists can provide. Here’s everything you need to know about selecting the best divorce therapist for you.

 

What exactly is a Divorce Therapist?

A divorce therapist is a mental health professional who helps people through the hard parts of getting a divorce. Therapists have a master’s degree, thousands of hours of clinical practice, supervision, and have passed a test. They are trained to provide a safe and supportive environment to develop coping skills and improve communication.

 

Why Look for This? 

Divorce can bring up a wide range of emotions and challenges, so it’s critical to have support from divorce therapists during this time. A divorce therapist can assist you in processing your emotions and navigating the practical aspects of divorce (e.g., co-parenting, loneliness, and getting back into dating). Meaning, they can also offer advice on how to build healthier relationships in the future.

 

What to Look for in a Divorce Therapist

When looking for a divorce therapist, it’s important to find someone who is a good fit for you and your needs. Here are some things to think about:

  • Make sure your therapist has experience with divorce.
  • Take into account the therapist’s approach to therapy. Which means, it is critical to find a therapist whose approach matches your goals and needs. 
    • Are they concerned with assisting you in processing your emotions? 
    • Do they emphasize developing coping mechanisms? 
  • Make sure your therapist is available when you want.
  • Check the therapist’s credentials to make sure they can help you.

 

How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

To get the most out of therapy, you must actively participate in the process. Here are some pointers on how to get the most out of your therapy sessions:

  • Be open and honest with your therapist about your feelings and experiences. This will help them better understand your needs and provide the most effective support.
  • Set objectives: Set goals with your therapist. This can assist you in remaining focused and motivated. 
  • Be open to new experiences: Your therapist may suggest new coping strategies or problem-solving approaches. Be willing to try new strategies, even if they make you uncomfortable at first.

Going through a divorce can be extremely difficult, yet it is critical to have support during this time. Divorce therapists can assist you in working through your emotions, developing coping skills, and navigating the practical and emotional aspects of divorce. If you’re thinking about therapy, don’t be afraid to contact a divorce therapist. They’re here to assist you!

A divorce therapist can provide the support and guidance you need to heal and move forward if you are going through a divorce. Begin your search for the right therapist right away!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

intimacy counseling

Intimacy Counseling Guide for Couples That Care

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Intimacy Counseling Guide for Couples That Care

 

If you’re in a relationship that struggles with intimacy issues, you should consider intimacy counseling. As something that is still a relatively unknown concept in many relationships, especially those in which neither partner has tried individual therapy, there is so much to learn about this form of counseling that can help you restore intimacy and happiness in your relationship. 

One of the intimacy areas that couples often highlight as the most problematic in long-term relationships is sex; however, many other forms of intimacy are equally important in a relationship. That is why we’ve created this guide to help you see if your relationship could benefit from intimacy counseling. 

 

What Is Intimacy?

How would you define intimacy? Although we all know what it implies, more or less, we often get surprised when hearing that it’s not just sex. An interpersonal relationship can feel intimate when there is a sense of closeness and connection. It is a crucial component of close connections, yet it also contributes significantly to relationships with friends, family, and other acquaintances.

The Latin word “intimus,” which means “inner” or “innermost,” is the source of the English word. The meaning of intimacy in most languages alludes to a person’s most profound characteristics. People may connect on many different levels through intimacy. As a result, it is an essential part of wholesome partnerships.

You probably instantly thought of sexual intimacy when you heard the phrase, yet other types of intimacy are just as significant, particularly in romantic relationships. Here are the main types of intimacy each relationship should pay attention to:

 

  • Physical intimacy (e.g., kissing, holding hands, and cuddling),
  • Emotional intimacy (e.g., deep conversations),
  • Intellectual intimacy (e.g., challenging each other or comparing reactions),
  • Experiential intimacy (e.g., shared experiences and hobbies),
  • Spiritual intimacy (e.g., sharing beliefs and values).

 

Intimacy Obstacles

Every relationship experiences highs and lows, yet occasionally specific challenges can make intimacy challenging. Or, if not properly nourished, a once powerful sensation of closeness may eventually wane.

 

Conflict

When you and the other person are always at odds, it might be difficult to feel intimate. It may be more difficult to feel connected and close to that person if you are experiencing feelings of resentment, hostility, and lack of trust.

 

Stress

A couple’s closeness may suffer as a result of life stress brought on by job, sickness, money, children, and other problems.

 

Communication Difficulties

When you find it difficult to express your wants and feelings, it’s challenging to feel connected. It’s crucial to communicate with your spouse and listen to what they say if you want to develop and keep closeness.

 

Fear of Intimacy

It can be challenging to build lasting relationships with others when a person has a fear of intimacy, which is frequently brought on by traumatic events or prior experiences.

Intimacy Counseling

A type of professional talk therapy called intimacy therapy enables people and couples to examine and express their feelings about their intimate lives honestly. It’s aimed to assist clients in addressing numerous physical and psychological aspects influencing their happiness. The therapist will work on personal, psychological, medical, and other interpersonal difficulties with the couple and separately with each partner.

As partners realize their subtle, frequently disregarded, or undetected feelings, the exploration process helps to strengthen sexual interactions. It also allows couples to control those sentiments that may be unpleasant to communicate more successfully.

Intimacy therapy’s ultimate objective is to assist couples in overcoming obstacles in their physical and emotional connection for a better union and more enjoyable relationship.

These are common intimacy reasons for going to an intimacy counselor:

 

  • Sexual dysfunctions,
  • Trust issues, 
  • Infidelity, 
  • Lack of interest in connection that is not sexual,
  • Premature ejaculation,
  • Sexual traumas,
  • Sexless relationships,
  • How to communicate better in the bedroom,

 

How Intimacy Counseling Works

You might wish to engage with an intimacy counselor if you’re worried about how to reestablish closeness in your marriage. This kind of expert may assist you and your spouse in resolving any concerns or problems that can prevent you from being intimate with one another. To maintain a stable connection and a strong bond, it is essential to be intimate with your partner in various ways.

To locate a counselor, search online or contact your doctor for a recommendation. If you’ve located a therapist you’d want to speak with, you can go alone or bring your significant other. The counselor will do their best to get to know you better, understand the problems you wish to address, and have a more in-depth conversation with you about how to do so.

The treatment option or plans that will improve your relationship will probably be discussed with you as you continue working with a counselor. The strategy may vary depending on why you initially requested assistance.

For instance, your counselor would outline the measures that must be followed to achieve this aim if you want help to restore sexuality in your marriage. You should be able to increase your closeness with your partner and resolve any other concerns by working on them together.

These are just some of the things couples learn from intimacy counseling:

  • Simple techniques for a deeper connection,
  • Understand the way your partner and yourself think about intimacy,
  • Discuss differences respectfully and lovingly, 
  • Bring up issues and focus on finding a resolution,
  • Tantric exercises for improving intimacy,
  • Methods to increase pleasure in the bedroom, 
  • How to end repetitive fights, …

 

The Bottom Line

Since it serves as the foundation for connection and communication, intimacy is crucial in a partnership. It guarantees that each person receives the support and comfort they require, that they feel understood, and that they are free to be who they are.

Intimacy is crucial to relationships, whether you’ve been dating for a short while or have been a couple for a long time. Be aware that it can take some time if your relationship is still young, yet it will be worthwhile to put in the effort to share new experiences.

There are several things to consider after you decide that you want to focus on intimacy in your marriage. You should think about the issues you and your husband need to resolve before deciding whether intimacy counseling is appropriate for your marriage.

You may conduct internet research to learn more about programs that can assist you and seek licensed therapists in your neighborhood to assist with this kind of counseling. There’s a decent possibility they could improve your marriage.

 

 Get CONNECT now

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

How to Communicate: A Witty Guide for Flourishing Friendships

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How to Communicate: A Witty Guide for Flourishing Friendships 

 

As a licensed therapist and expert on emotions, I’m here to impart some advice on how to communicate better with friends and those around you. 

Let’s enter a world of meaningful connections, shall we? 

 

  1. The Art of Listening: Ear-Resistible!

Listening is the first step in learning “how to communicate.” Be present, attentive, and all ears! Your friends will be grateful for your newly acquired attentiveness. Remember that everyone appreciates a good listener!

 

  1. Mirror, Mirror: Reflective Discussions

Be the mirror that reflects their thoughts and feelings when chatting with friends. Respond sympathetically and paraphrase their words. It demonstrates that you are listening, understanding, and genuinely concerned.

 

  1. The Power of Questions: Unleashing Curiosity!

Asking thoughtful questions is a hallmark of how to communicate. It conveys interest and starts interesting conversations. 

 

  1. Emotional Intelligence: Feelings Speak Loudly

Being emotionally intelligent means being able to recognize, understand, and control your own emotions as well as those of others. Your friends will appreciate you providing a safe space for them to express their thoughts and feelings. Much easier said than done, because you have to remember to learn to control your emotions. 

 

  1. Emojis: A Picture Speaks Louder Than a Thousand Words!

Emojis can add spice and fun to written communication! As a result, there are fewer misunderstandings because they help with emotional expression and intent clarification. So, like delightful confetti, sprinkle them throughout your messages. 

 

  1. Timing Is Everything: 

When to Chat and When to Relax: Knowing “how to communicate” entails knowing when to engage and when to back off. Respect the energy and boundary levels of your friends. Remember that timing is everything, and your tone and skill set matter as well. 

 

  1. Be Honest: Let Your True Selves Shine 

Strong friendships are built on honesty and authenticity. When communicating, be true to yourself and others. The friends you will make will appreciate and cherish your genuine nature.

 

  1. Conflict Resolution: A Path to Understanding Through Peace 🕊️🌳

Conflicts are unavoidable, but knowing how to communicate in tough situations makes all the difference. Address issues calmly, listen to opposing points of view, and work together to find a harmonious solution.

 

  1. Compliments and Appreciation: Sprinkle That Kindness!

Never undervalue the impact of a sincere compliment or expression of gratitude. Friends will feel valued and appreciated, strengthening the bonds between you. Share the love!

 

  1. Make Me Laugh: Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Last and not least, don’t forget the importance of humor in how to communicate with friends. Similar jokes can lighten the mood and bring people together.

In conclusion, how to communicate is a skill that can be honed with practice, empathy, and a dash of wit. 

Go forth and transform your relationships with friends, coworkers, and dates by starting your journey with the on-demand video below. 

 

Get your guide to connect more today

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Counselling Near Me

The Benefits of Sex Counselling Near Me: Improving Intimacy

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The Benefits of Sex Counselling Near Me: Improving Intimacy and Strengthening Relationships

 

In any romantic relationship, intimacy is essential, and sex counselling near me can be found anywhere via text. 

Numerous people struggle with sex and intimacy-related problems, and these difficulties can interfere with the enjoyment of dating or even the strongest of relationships. Sex counseling near me can help in this situation by offering a secure and encouraging environment where you can discuss sexual needs and desires.

 

What is sex counselling near me?

Sex counselling near me is a type of therapy that is specifically focused on issues related to sex and intimacy in romantic relationships and with identity. 

It is typically conducted by a licensed therapist who specializes in working with trauma and with individuals in love. It is designed to help individuals explore their sexual needs and desires, as well as any challenges or barriers they may be facing.

In sex therapy, clients are encouraged to share their thoughts and feelings about intimate relationships, without fear of judgment. A variety of techniques and approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based therapy, and somatic sex therapy, may be used by the therapist to help.

 

What are the Benefits?

There are many potential benefits, including:

  • Improved communication: text can help individuals learn how to communicate more effectively about their sexual needs and desires. It can help those who have strong shame. Meaning, this leads to a stronger sense of connection from self to self, which may be blocking pleasure.
  • Increased satisfaction: By exploring sexual desires in a supportive environment, you can learn how to enhance sexual experiences.
  • Addressing sexual dysfunctions: Many individuals struggle with sexual dysfunctions so text helps you address in a non-judgmental yet guided way. 
  • Strengthened relationships: By addressing challenges related to sex and intimacy, you can have more trust and connection in the relationships you create.
  • Improved mental health: Sexual issues can be a significant source of stress and anxiety. So text therapy or sex counselling can help your overall well-being.

 

Is It Right for Me?

Sex counseling near me may help you resolve relationship issues related to sex and intimacy. Some signs that sex counselling near me may be right for you include the following:

  • Difficulty communicating about sex 
  • Lack of sexual satisfaction or fulfillment
  • Sexual dysfunctions or challenges, such as difficulty achieving orgasm with a partner
  • Feeling disconnected or distant from passion and vibrancy 
  • Anxiety or stress related to identity, your trauma, or shame about sex-indifference 

 

Conclusion

Sex counselling near me can be a powerful tool for improving intimacy, thus transforming people’s lives. By talking about sexuality this way, you can improve communication, deal with problems, and feel closer to others. If you’re struggling with issues related to sex and intimacy in your relationship, consider reaching out to a licensed couples sex therapist today.

Also, start your journey at home with a communication therapy video. 

 

 Get CONNECT now

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Getting Over Divorce

Getting Over Divorce: How Individual Therapy Can Help You Heal 💔🧠

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Getting Over Divorce: How Individual Therapy Can Help You Heal 💔🧠

 

Getting over divorce is not easy, and it can be especially difficult to move on after a marriage has ended. You are not the only person who is having a hard time recovering from your divorce. So, here are some reasons why individual therapy can help you heal and move forward.

 

Managing Your Emotions

Divorce can elicit a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and frustration. Individual therapy can help you work through these emotions in a healthy and productive way. In therapy, you will have a safe place to talk about your feelings and work through them with the help of a trained professional.

 

Developing Coping Skills

Getting over divorce can be difficult, and it’s important to have coping skills to help you manage the stress and challenges that come your way. You’ll learn new coping strategies in therapy that are tailored to your specific needs and preferences, allowing you to cope better with the stress of divorce. Whether it’s mindfulness, self-care, or problem-solving, you’ll find strategies that work for you.

 

Enhancing Communication

After a divorce, communication with your ex-spouse is likely to be an important part of your life, especially if you have children. It is critical to communicate effectively in order to reduce the likelihood of conflict. In therapy, you’ll learn new communication skills that will help you co-parent and interact with your ex-spouse more positively.

 

Taking Care of Relationship Problems

Divorce can cause a slew of relationship issues, ranging from trust to commitment anxiety. Individual therapy can assist you in improving your future relationships. In therapy, you’ll work through the issues you had in your previous relationship and learn how to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.

 

Last Thoughts

Getting over a divorce is never easy, yet it is possible with the right support. 

Individual therapy offers a safe and supportive environment for self-reflection and self-awareness. By reflecting, you will gain deeper insights into yourself and your experiences. This can be extremely healing and help you move forward after your divorce.

Individual therapy can provide that support, allowing you to heal and move on after the end of your marriage. If you’re thinking about going to therapy, don’t be afraid to contact a licensed therapist. They’re here to assist you!

Individual therapy can be an excellent way to help you heal and move forward if you’re ready to take the next step in getting over your divorce. 💪🙏

 

Want to Schedule a Session?

 

 

Also, start your journey at home with some of our webinars!

 Get CONNECT now

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Therapy After Breakup

Therapy After Breakup: How To Know If You Need It 💔

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Therapy After Breakup: How To Know If You Need It 💔

 

Relationships are quite complex, and regardless of the time you two spent together, therapy after breakup could be beneficial. You might split after 10 years of marriage or be ghosted after several promising months, and it ends in grief. We build our lives with partners, share dreams with them, and allow them to see us without the facade. Meaning, all of that going away may definitely leave a bad taste in your mouth. 

 

This is why many recently divorced and separated individuals decide to seek help in the form of therapy. Besides learning how to let go of all of these emotions, you also need to relearn how to enjoy single life in things that no longer include a partner. Learning that is often harder than it seems, so talking to a professional often helps put our lives back on track.

 

Breakups are also a common cause of mental health concerns. It is not unusual for people who are going through or have recently gone through a breakup to experience depression, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress, and psychological distress. If you too feel quite affected by your breakup and can’t seem to find joy in anything else in your life, there are signs that might indicate you should consider reaching out to a therapist. 

 

You’re Unable to Function Properly.

After a long-term relationship, you might feel like your life is falling apart. Often, this confusion and sadness will lead to hopelessness, and you’ll find yourself in trouble at work and unable to eat or sleep for several weeks after your breakup. As much as breakups require some healing time, if you cannot get yourself to function properly, you should consider post-breakup therapy. 

 

Also, some people use unhealthy ways to deal with the pain of a breakup, like drinking, doing drugs, or taking prescription pills. Regardless of your justification for doing so, anything that interferes with your quality of life should be a sign to look for mental health support. 

 

You’re Isolating Yourself from Others. 

You used to be a fun, easy-going person who enjoyed spending their free time with friends and family, yet the breakup somehow changed you? After your relationship ends, it is completely expected to feel denial, emptiness, sadness, and anger, and you might even experience these grief stages more than once. However, if a person isolates from close friends and family, this often means they need help letting go of the relationship and feeling positive about socializing, not negative. 

 

Not to mention that by avoiding people who love and value you in difficult times, you are also depriving yourself of love, concern, and support, which are all key to your recovery. Even if you don’t feel like going out with your best friend, you should express your vulnerability. After all, breakups often leave a mess behind, and it might be too exhausting to deal with it on your own. 

 

You Romanticize Your Relationship.  💔

You and your ex broke up weeks or even months ago, and you’re still daydreaming about them?  You might fantasize about what it would be like if they called and said they missed you, listened to their favorite music, visited places where you hoped to see them again, or simply idealized them in conversations with your friends.

 

If this was a bad relationship and you’re trying to get over it, you may also have trouble with intimacy, post-relationship stress disorder, and other problems that make it hard for you to have healthy relationships in the future. Especially if you experienced infidelity in this relationship, it’s important to take a moment and look at your relationship from another angle. 

 

You Start a New Relationship Too Early.

Although you’ve been feeling sad about your breakup just a few days ago, you’ve unexpectedly met someone and want to commit to a new relationship right away. As already said, breakups require you to take some time to analyze your relationship and allow you some time to grieve and, finally, heal. Jumping too soon into a new relationship will eliminate this entire process and probably lead to the same issues in the new relationship.

 

You might find yourself replacing your ex-partner with someone who looks just like them, has a similar personality, or is the complete opposite of them. As long as your ex-partner is a factor when starting a new relationship, you are not ready for it. Instead of escaping from how you feel due to your breakup, you should accept that this process, although painful, brings many benefits to your wellbeing, how you connect with others, and how you emotionally grow. 

 

What to Expect from a Therapy After Breakup

Congratulations if you’ve decided to get help with your mental health to get over your breakup in the best way possible. Accepting this experience is difficult on its own, and you need someone to talk to to alleviate the emotional burden you feel after the breakup. Once you’ve made your decision about talking to a therapist, you will need to find one.

 

Seek therapists who have experience with relationships and breakups. If your colleague mentioned an excellent therapist, reach out to that person and schedule your first session (which is called an “intake”).

 

If you haven’t been in therapy before, you should know that it’s almost the same as talking to friends about your issues, yet therapists will provide better tools and insights that will guide you through the experience you’re going through. They will probably ask you a few questions to get a better understanding of your relationship and how you feel about it. 

 

Also, you will be able to share with them anything that is bothering you without fear of being judged. After all, their only goal is to help you and get you to start enjoying your life again!

 

If you need to text about it, text 203-733-9600 and let us know when you are available to begin text coaching. 

 

Our prices range from $60-$500+/hour depending on which therapist you want to see!  

Want to Schedule a Session?

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Couples Therapy Apps

Couples Therapy Apps: How to Make the Most of Them? 📲

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How Can You Benefit from Couples Therapy Apps? 

 

Relationships take work, and sometimes couples therapy apps are what you need to solve an issue or two between you and your partner. If you and your partner feel like you’ve lost touch, several apps are available to help you get back in the swing. You already have your phone out. So why not use it to make the two of you feel closer to one another?

Everyone experiences this at some point. You and your partner have completely different work schedules and barely see each other. Maybe you just became a parent and the big change has left you feeling more alone than you thought it would. Or you’ve been with your partner for so long that you don’t even know what connects you. There are apps for that, just like there are apps that help you spice up things in your relationship. Or organize your household more efficiently. 

A wide variety of apps are available to help you improve your relationship, from those that assist you in planning romantic dates to those that guide you through couples counseling.

 

What is Couple Therapy? 

Therapy for couples is a psychotherapy that focuses on solving problems within a couple’s relationship. Couples therapy, or marriage counseling, is a form of therapy that helps two individuals improve their communication, intimacy, and other aspects of their relationship. 

Couples therapy sessions are led by licensed professionals, who are often licensed marital and family therapists (LMFTs) because they are trained and knowledgeable in the issues that couples face. On this path, it’s vital for couples to have honest, respectful dialogues about the state of their relationship, even if those conversations are difficult.

Relax. The couples therapist’s job is to help you and your partner talk to each other in an open and respectful way. Both you and your spouse will benefit from improved communication skills. Which will allow you to understand, listen to, and speak to one another.

 

Couples Therapy App Overview

Many apps can help you with your relationship, from playing sex games to talking to experienced couples therapists via phone call or text. In the last few years, the popularity of therapy apps has been growing across the United States. As people are experiencing different challenges in their lives, seeking professional help this way is quite convenient. After all, we use our smartphones for everything, so why not therapy as well?

Depending on what you need and your budget, you will be able to find a variety of couples therapy apps available to you. One of the most popular therapy apps for couples is Relish, a platform specialized for marriage that can also serve every couple willing to work on their relationship. 

Once you pay for the subscription, you get a therapist just like you would at our practice, and you will work to solve your issues. 

Another recommended couple therapy app is Lasting. It provides personalized lessons crafted from your responses to quizzes on your relationship. It’s not as interactive, so you might feel like you’re absorbing more knowledge than testing it. This isn’t a good idea for people who have trouble focusing, since you’ll need to listen to several recordings to figure out how to deal with the problem in your relationship. 

If you and your partner want to improve things in the bedroom, consider installing Coral, an intimacy and sex app for couples. It uses data, science, and experiments to give couples exactly what they need to make their relationship happier and healthier. One of the perks of this app is the exercise part, and yes, some of the tasks are sexual. So you can have a great time with your partner trying to make the most of this app. Although sex therapists created Coral, the app doesn’t offer to connect you to a therapist as a service. 

 

Benefits of Couples Therapy Apps

Similar to how other apps may help with organizing and planning, applications are now designed specifically for couples. Photos, calendars, date ideas, and jobs around the house may all be organized with these relationship apps.

If you and your spouse want to get better at communicating, resolving conflicts, and feeling emotionally connected. Consider starting your therapy with the help of an app. Many of them cost only a few dollars per month, which might be interesting for those who are unable to pay for in-person therapy sessions that cost more. Also, if you cannot find a therapist nearby, it might be easier to talk to a professional this way. 

You might start with the app. With in-person sessions, you need to wait until your next appointment to discuss urgent issues. Which can be challenging for couples. Not being able to solve an issue can cause severe damage to your communication and intimacy. With apps, you can get help and start solving your issues today. 

 

In Final Words

Apps help couples stay connected and on the same page. Whether they are just starting out as a couple, married, or separated by a vast distance. They can also help manage routine, daily activities like paying bills and doing laundry.

Many of them can be downloaded for free and work with iOS and Android devices, making them ideal for any couple or lifestyle. Nothing is more rewarding than being in a relationship that makes you feel good about everything else. However, relationships take work. 

Before reaching out to a therapist or installing a therapy app for couples, make sure you talk to your partner. Being on the same page will help you solve the issues that arise and reconnect. If they are not as excited about therapy as you are, consider talking to a couple that has already begun therapy.

 

Also, start your journey at home with a communication therapy video. 

 Get CONNECT now

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Couples Therapy Online

Couples Therapy Online: What Really Happens in Text Therapy 💬

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Couples Therapy Online: What Really Happens in Text Therapy 💬

 

If you and your partner are struggling to communicate and connect, couples therapy online may help. 

Do you feel like your relationship has lost its spark and you don’t know how to reignite it? Couples therapy online may be the solution you’ve been looking for. 

With the help of a text therapist, you and your partner can work through your issues and build a stronger, healthier relationship. 💕

 

The Lowdown on Couples Therapy Online

Online couple’s therapy is a type of therapy that takes place over the internet, usually through text messages. It has a lot of the same benefits as traditional couples therapy. But you can talk to your therapist from anywhere at any time, which is more convenient and private.

Licensed therapists who specialize in working with couples will meet with you and your partner regularly during text therapy. Your therapist will lead you through activities and exercises that are meant to help you communicate better, build trust, and feel closer to each other.

 

What Happens in Couples Text Therapy?

In couples text therapy, you and your partner will work together with a therapist to identify. And address issues that are affecting your relationship. Your therapist will help you work through your problems and give you advice and support. They will also help you come up with ways to improve your relationship.

Here are some common topics that couples may explore in text therapy:

  • Communication – this is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. In text therapy, you and your partner will learn how to communicate more effectively. Express your feelings and needs in a healthy way, and listen actively to each other.
  • Trust and Intimacy – Trust and intimacy are essential components of a healthy relationship. In text therapy, you and your partner will work through any issues or challenges that may be affecting your ability to trust each other or feel emotionally connected.
  • Conflict Resolution – No relationship is free of conflict, but how you handle conflict can make a big difference in the health of your relationship. In text therapy, you and your partner will learn how to resolve conflicts in a healthy, productive way that strengthens your bond.

 

Why Invest in Couples Text Therapy?

Investing in couples text therapy can offer several benefits, including:

  • Convenience: Couples therapy online is flexible and convenient, allowing you to fit therapy sessions into your busy schedule.
  • Privacy: Text therapy offers a high level of privacy and confidentiality. Which can make it easier to open up and discuss sensitive topics.
  • Personalized guidance: Your therapist will work with you and your partner to identify your unique needs and develop personalized strategies for improving your relationship.
  • Improved communication: By learning how to communicate more effectively, you and your partner can build a stronger, healthier relationship.
  • Deeper emotional connection: Couples text therapy can help you and your partner build a deeper emotional connection and strengthen your bond.

 

Conclusion

Couples therapy online is an easy, flexible, and effective way for a couple to improve their communication, build trust, and strengthen their emotional connection. 

With the guidance and support of a licensed therapist, you and your partner can work through your issues and build a stronger, healthier relationship. 

Don’t wait – invest in your relationship today with couples text therapy! 💬

 

Check Out Our Communication and Love Language Therapy Video

Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies

Love-Language-and-Communication-Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Celebrity Couples Therapy with Amanda Pasciucco

Text Coaching for Celebrity Couples Therapy: Meeting Your Discreet & Confidential Needs 

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Text Coaching for Celebrity Couples Therapy: Meeting Your Discreet & Confidential Needs 

 

These days, celebrity couples therapy is all the rage. Every time we turn on the TV or browse social media, it seems like another A-list couple is talking about their treatment experiences or their destructive breakup. However, couples counseling is recommended for a good reason because it may transform a relationship, even for the rich and famous. How can celebrity couples counseling benefit you and your partner, though, and what precisely is it? Let’s start now.

Celebrity couples encounter a special set of issues in their relationships that can be challenging to handle without the right help. Couples counseling offers celebrity couples specialized approaches to overcoming the challenges that come with fame, public attention, and demanding occupations.

How does text coaching help celebrity couples?

  • Managing the demands of fame: A relationship may be under a lot of stress due to the media’s and the public’s constant focus. Couples can improve their communication skills by texting with a communication coach.
  • Work-life harmony for those in challenging occupations Celebrity couples frequently struggle to find time for intimacy. Relationship text coaching gives couples advice on how to stay close despite their busy schedules.
  • Navigating infidelity or ethical non-monogamy: Infidelity is a common problem for celebrity couples, especially with the added temptation of fame. However, some couples have Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Arrangements. Texting is a safe space for celebrity couples to work through trust issues and have the relationship that they desire. 
  • Dealing with public scrutiny: Celebrity relationships are often under a microscope, with every detail of their lives analyzed by the media and public. Text coaching helps couples build resilience and overcome the negative impact of public scrutiny.

Couples therapy with a celebrity twist is the same as traditional couples counseling. You’ll work with a qualified therapist who has competence guiding couples through the particular complications associated with a high-stress lifestyles. A celebrity couples therapy clinician can assist you and your partner in finding your way back to one another, regardless of whether you are struggling with trust issues, communication breakdowns, or the stress that comes with public attention.

Celebrity couples therapy options are available via discreet text therapy. The goal is to specialize in helping individuals and couples improve their relationships, intimacy, and overall well-being. 

Text therapy is an alternative for celebrity couple therapy. Yet, the objective is to focus on assisting couples to enhance their relationships, intimacy, and overall wellbeing.

In Summary

Celebrity couples face challenges in their relationships, and celebrity couples therapy provides tailored solutions to help overcome this. 

With a focus on effective communication, resilience-building, and developing strategies for balancing demanding careers, text coaching can help celebrity couples build stronger, more transformative and fulfilling relationships.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

The Truth About Valentine’s Day: It’s More About Effort Than You Think!

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The Truth About Valentine’s Day: It’s More About Effort Than You Think!

 

The truth about Valentine’s Day is that it is thought of as a day to celebrate romantic relationships. The thing is that buying gifts, cards, chocolate, and engaging in special “dates” isn’t just for life partners. 

As we begin to approach this holiday, it’s important to remember that relationships come in many forms and should be celebrated throughout the year.

 

Commercial Holiday

The truth about Valentine’s Day is it a commercial holiday. Yet this level of celebration for those you love is something to consider every day! 

As a couple’s therapist, often we see couples who rarely spend quality time together outside of special dates. In relationships, it is vital to the relationship to spend quality time with our partner(s). 

As a result of a lack of quality time, couples become disconnected from each other. 

Celebrating relationships outside of Valentine’s Day can help deepen connections with important people in our lives. 

Often in couples therapy or relational therapy in general we focus on “love languages” of quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and gift giving (many more have been identified, yet these are the ones many are familiar with). 

 

Valentine’s Day and Love Language

The truth about Valentine’s Day and any day you’re with a loved one is that you give in the love language that the person you are giving to receives in. Meaning, if I love to cook desserts as my love language. And my partner doesn’t have a sweet tooth, there is going to be some dysfunction there. 

Instead, focus on giving in the way that others receive. For example, quality time looks like spending time with the person whom you are trying to build a connection with individually or in small groups.  This could include scheduling regular date nights with a partner, going on a fun outing with friends. Or having a family game night. 

Another way to celebrate is to show gratitude towards the people in our lives. Like writing a heartfelt letter, giving a thoughtful gift, or finding a poem to express verbally. 

Another way to celebrate relationships is to make an effort to stay in touch with people who are important to us, even if they live far away. This could include sending a text or an email, or even scheduling a video call to catch up. We see more frequent connection points in relationships can enhance connection and strengthen the relationship.

Another vital relationship for us to cultivate is the one we have with ourselves. Building a connection to ourselves on an ongoing basis, helps our mental health, our physical health, and the relationships with those around us.  

We can improve our self-care, self-compassion and self-love. And make sure that we are taking care of ourselves in a way that makes us feel good to us (building pleasure practices, quality time with ourselves. And building compassion towards ourselves).

It’s important to make an effort to celebrate relationships in a variety of ways throughout the year. And not just on Valentine’s Day.

Ready to learn more on your own? 

Get our popular couples therapy video. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know Nicole Scrivano, LMFT, LCAT’s Director, by making an appointment. Nicole specializes in working with individuals and couples to bring identity-informed care and strategies for success in overcoming trauma triggers. Start your journey here with Nicole.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Consensual Non-Monogamy: Definition, Types & Tips

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Consensual Non-Monogamy: Definition, Types & Tips

Although most couples in our culture are monogamous, consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is on the rise. Monogamy means that once you are engaged, you do not have romantic or sexual interactions with anyone else. Yet, we know that around one-fifth of the population engages in non-monogamous relationships at some time in their life.

You can practice consensual non-monogamy in various ways; one of the most important is an honest and open dialogue between partners. Partnerships that aren’t monogamous yet are morally acceptable include polyamory, open relationships, and swinging.


Let’s take a closer look at consensual non monogamy, its types, and how to start practicing CNM. 

What is Consensual Non-Monogamy? 

The phrase “consensual non monogamy” is an umbrella term, meaning its broad definition encompasses various individual connection types. A relationship may exhibit consensual non-monogamy, or CNM, in multiple ways, from entailing simply romantic relationships to purely sexual relationships, or both romantic and sexual. One person may behave outside the boundaries of the partnership or even both parties.

The fact that both partners agree to whatever kind of consensual non-monogamy is used in the partnership distinguishes it from infidelity. The partner does not agree to cheat. Because you and your partner have already decided to practice non-monogamy, CNM is not considered cheating.

There are numerous good reasons to prefer a non-monogamous relationship structure, including:

  • Being able to explore sexuality,
  • Understanding that one relationship doesn’t satisfy all your needs,
  • You want to give love and affection to more than one person. 

Monogamy vs. Consensual Non-Monogamy

Everyone spends a certain amount of time dating before settling down with “the one.” Meeting the one at a young age is a rarity, yet it does happen. So many people have to keep looking before they meet someone they click with. Some people may keep dating even after discovering someone they can settle down with.

Everyone participating in a non-monogamous relationship must agree to its structure to be considered consensual. One of the most common misunderstandings about non-monogamy is that cheating on a spouse or partner is a license. Consensual non-monogamy, on the other hand, is fundamentally distinct from cheating because of its emphasis on consent, openness, and honesty. Contrarily, cheating is a severe breach of trust.

How to Practice CNM

Consensual non-monogamy, like any other relationship, thrives based on mutual understanding, respect, and trust. Everyone should know what they’re getting into and provide their complete, informed permission before entering into a relationship. Practicing CNM is similar to being in any relationship, except for setting initial boundaries, expectations, and wants.

These tips might make it easier for you to maintain fulfilled relationship(s):

  • The two of you have settled on a list of dos and don’ts for your relationship.
  • Transparency is essential.
  • Have respect for your partners’ emotions and talk about them.
  • A primary partner is possible in CNM if you want one. 
  • Non-hierarchical connections are an option to consider. 
  • Expect highs and lows, just like in any relationship you have had. 
  • Jealousy is completely normal, and it’s okay to feel it. 

Consensual Non-Monogamy Examples

It doesn’t work to generalize consensual non-monogamous relationships. Different types of relationships range from  romantic to sexual to platonic feelings between partners. Let’s go through some of the most common types of CNM relationships that I see below.

Polyamory

The idea of love is vital to polyamory, yet instead of being limited to a single partner, it is shared in many forms among many individuals. Friendships might be seen as polyamorous since we often cultivate close bonds with several people at once. Persons who practice polyamory are like those with more than one relationship because they satisfy their emotional demands in this way. Polyamory is not exclusively practiced by any one sexual orientation, although bisexuals and heteroflexibles seem to embrace it the most.

Hierarchy in Polyamory: the Primary/Secondary Model

Primary and secondary exclusive non-monogamous relationships vary primarily because both partners can have sexual and/or emotional connections with others. The passionate commitment to the principal partner in a non-monogamous relationship is equivalent to that to the only partner in a monogamous relationship.

Individuals in CNM relationships tend to be satisfied inside the partnership, yet research has shown that a deep bond with one primary partner might diminish happiness in secondary relationships.

Closed V

Picture three persons, one on each of the letter V’s vertical sides. The other persons in the V are only linked to the person at the bottom. As a result, a closed V involves a single individual having love ties to two others who are not linked.

Throuple/Quad

A throuple or quad consists of three persons, or four people in the case of a quadruple, who are romantically or sexually associated with one another, as opposed to the closed V, in which only one person is romantically involved with two others.

Monogamish

These hybrid monogamous/polyamorous couples share characteristics of both types of relationships. It often works because, at some point in time, one or both parties will decide to introduce a third party into the relationship. In most cases, this is done to gratify sexual desires rather than form meaningful bonds with others.

Because of this, firmly attached persons are more likely to have a sense of emotional safety and contentment in their closest personal connections. They may relax in a relationship or be independent if they choose.

Swingers

Whether single or in a committed relationship, you may participate in swinging, also known as wife-swapping, husband-swapping, or partner-swapping. Swinging is an open, non-monogamous relationship. Reasons vary for why people decide to adopt a swinging lifestyle. According to proponents, both the quality and amount of sexual activity improve. Swinging is a form of sexual experimentation that may appeal to those bored with or seeking variation in their sexual life. Swinging is a positive way to release stress and enhance bonds by some couples.

Kinksters

A kinkster is someone who engages in sexual behavior that deviates from the conventions of their society. It comes from the word “kink,” which in the context of sex means any sexual activity other than “norm” of heterosexual, cisgender missionary with the goal of having children.

People who prefer BDSM and those who engage in polyamory are most likely to identify as kinksters, yet it can extend far more broadly to persons with fetishes and other wants (e.g., pet play, role play, leather, etc.).

If you want to start your journey at home, let us be your guide. Start here! 

Check Out All Our Additional Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Start

kinky sex

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Alternative Lifestyles: Guide to Non-Traditional Relationship Types

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Alternative Lifestyles: Guide to Non-Traditional Relationship Types

 

Are you wondering if it’s possible to have alternative lifestyles in 2023? 

Have you been hearing about alternative lifestyles and non-traditional relationships recently and wanted to learn more about them?

Contrary to what we see in movies, individuals want relationships that aren’t limited to a one-on-one dynamic. Some experts even claim that the realities of contemporary living have influenced some couples to choose unconventional arrangements and alternative lifestyles – the most popular ones being open relationships. 

What is a Non-Traditional Relationship? 

The concept that there is “one person” who can provide all of our wants throughout our whole lives is one that is modeling in the media. 

The truth is that we all need various things from different people, and by cultivating different kinds of connections, we develop different facets of our personalities. 

Learning about oneself opens up opportunities for exploration, whether solo or in a relationship.

The ability to discuss and negotiate all the aspects of your life that are essential to you, while thinking about what you can contribute for an alternative lifestyle is crucial. 

Sometimes we let our love attachments distract us from the more critical aspects of life, such as eating, sleeping, and our goals. This can occur in an alternative lifestyle or not, yet be conscious in creating the life you want. 

So, what are some alternatives to typical couples that share romantic feelings, a home, and a life?

Platonic Life Partners

Companions for life who don’t need or want romantic or sexual ties. There is trust and mutual understanding in this connection. There is a solid emotional connection, albeit it may not lead to anything sexual. The phrase “roommates” has been used to describe this scenario, but it does not encompass all options. Long-term friends may opt to live together and share decision-making, finances, and a shared future, while still giving each person room to pursue romantic or sexual relationships.

Living Apart Together

This type of arrangement is common among families with members in the military or who commute to work. The relationship’s quality may be the deciding factor. The fact that you two are physically separated is merely one facet of your close yet distant friendship. The essentials, like communicating, making choices, sharing memories, etc., are still carried out in person. It’s common for anxiety to cast a pall on relationships of this sort. Fear of separation from one’s relationship. Anxiety at being turned down by a potential companion. Having well-defined goals is critical to LAT. ‍

Open Relationships

This is a totally liberated partnership. Polyamory (having several sexual partners) is common, but the primary relationship’s emotional connection and agreements are still prioritized.

How to Start a Non-Traditional Relationship

Your active interaction with your spouse has decreased. A connection that has been opened up can become stronger. It might seem like a genuine diminution of self in a monogamous relationship because the partnership is defined by what you don’t do.

In a non-monogamous relationship, you can experience things that you otherwise might not be able to in a monogamous one. Instead of taking each other for granted, it may be a significant drive for some individuals. Observing them go on dates with others may give you the need to prove your worth and win this person’s love and affection. Additionally, it might serve as a reminder of how appealing their spouse is.

Challenges of Non-Traditional Relationships

Identify any connections or individuals who are “off limits.” Discuss any key relationships that will take precedence if you or a partner have them, and consider what information you will disclose with other partners.

Communication is crucial in every relationship. You need to be more aware of what you’re discussing with your spouse in an open relationship when expectations are even less apparent.

Achieve agreement between you, your primary partner, and any prospective additional partners.

You can check your answers to the following questions:

  • Do you intend to spend time engaging in a particular activity?
  • Do you want your partners to be acquainted?
  • Are there any specific sexual or romantic interests you have?

It’s possible for goals to vary from relationship to relationship and to change over time, so being upfront about them might prevent misunderstandings and damaged feelings in the future.

Tips for Your Non-Traditional Relationship

The most crucial component of any open relationship is honesty. You must be honest about your emotional and sexual demands if you want to settle into a relationship that you and your partner find comfortable. To feel safe and comfortable, you must also be honest about the limits you must impose. Establishing the foundation of trust required for any open relationship will be made more accessible by honest and open communication.

Before sharing the idea with your spouse, consider your motivations for an open relationship. If you are specific in your logic, plan or select a time to discuss the matter. You must speak with each other within a mental state of neutrality (i.e., not after a big fight). Start by telling your spouse that expanding your relationship has crossed your mind; you need to take concrete action.

For those who think they need more from their monogamous relationship or something different, open partnerships are the ideal option. Some people want more than one person’s emotional or physical closeness to feel complete since they are not completely happy in monogamous relationships. Others search for open partnerships to complement their present connection with another one.

If you and your partner believe an open relationship is the best choice for you, establish sexual boundaries straight away. It’s crucial that this discourse clearly states what is permitted. Do you feel at ease having penetrative sex? Oral sex? Trying out new activities that you haven’t done together? You’ll be able to focus on what you want from your sexual adventure by discussing these boundaries.

Final Words

In fact, keeping your relationship open will make you more devoted to your mate. Couples in alternative lifestyles and non-traditional relationships need high levels of communication, effort, and transparency to succeed. Investment in these abilities as a unit, so you can strengthen your relationship. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

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On the Importance of Communication in Relationships

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On the Importance of Communication in Relationships

 

The importance of communication in relationships is crucial for effectively communicating in any relationship you have. Communication allows individuals to understand each other, connect, and build trust with one another. 

Without communication, misunderstandings and conflicts can arise, leading to frustration, resentment, and potentially the breakdown of the relationship. Many people do not understand the importance of communication in relationships. 

Why? 

Because effective communication involves both speaking and listening. 

The importance of communication in relationships is needed to express your thoughts and feelings to your partner in a clear yet concise manner, and to be open to hearing their perspective too. This means actively listening to what they have to say, without interrupting or becoming visibly defensive.

In a healthy relationship, both people feel comfortable and safe communicating with each other. It’s okay to disagree or have different viewpoints, yet it’s important to have open and honest discussions to find common ground and resolve conflicts.

Effective communication also involves being able to express your needs and boundaries. It’s important for both partners to feel like their needs and wants are being heard and respected. This can help prevent misunderstandings and resentment from building up over time as there is enough room for everyone’s needs.

In summary, the importance of communication in relationships is essential. It allows individuals to have connection, build trust, and repair conflicts. Without communication in a relationship, misunderstandings and frustration can lead to the breakdown of the foundation.

Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know Chastity Rodriguez, LMFT, MEd, EMP, PC, CME by making an appointment. Chas specializes in individuals with chronic stuckness, teenagers and the next generation, and helping bring strategies for success. Start your journey here with Chas or the other therapists.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.