How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack

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How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack

 

Knowing how to react properly when someone is having a panic attack can be a lifesaver, yet most of us are not aware of what would actually help in that moment. A panic attack is a sudden episode of severe fear that triggers intense physical reactions in a situation that is not dangerous or harmful in any way. Nevertheless, panic attacks can be very frightening. A person experiencing this could think they are losing control, having a heart attack, or even dying.

Imagine your friend or a coworker experiencing a panic attack. What would you do? Being calm and supportive can help tremendously when you’re close to a person having this experience. After reading our detailed guide, you will know exactly what to do when someone is having a panic attack. 

 

Recognizing the Signs of a Panic Attack

First off, you don’t need to experience what it’s like to have a panic attack to be able to help someone go through such an experience. Although they are not rare, it’s possible that you can live your entire life without having one, while someone close to you has experienced it on several occasions already. 

Certain signs can indicate to you that your friend, partner, coworker, or anyone else is having a panic attack at the moment:

  • Rapid heartbeat or palpitations
  • Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • Chest pain or tightness
  • Sweating
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Feeling hot or having chills
  • Dizziness, lightheadedness, or faintness
  • Nausea or stomach discomfort
  • Tingling or numbness in hands, feet, or face
  • Feeling of choking or throat tightness
  • Overwhelming sense of fear, dread, or impending doom
  • Feeling detached from reality or from oneself
  • Sudden urge to escape the situation
  • Inability to answer questions in a clear and focused way

When discussing the signs of a panic attack, it’s important to remember that they don’t last long. Typically, a panic attack will appear suddenly, without any obvious warning. In the first ten minutes, the person will probably experience the peak of the panic attack, and its signs should start diminishing until they disappear entirely. The duration of panic attacks can be anywhere from a few minutes to 20 or 30 minutes. 

 

Helping a Person Having a Panic Attack

Being close to a person experiencing a panic attack might seem frightening, yet you will need to do your best to stay calm and provide support. How you handle this situation can have a tremendous impact on the person having the panic attack. 

 

1.Provide Stability Instead of Fear

There’s no doubt that you’ll be affected by such an experience; however, it’s crucial to provide stability and reassurance instead of making things worse. When you approach the person having a panic attack, make sure you speak slowly and gently. Raising your voice can only trigger them and push them further into this state of panic. Also, validate their feelings and show them you’re compassionate. This will take off the pressure and allow them to feel safe with you. 

 

2.Guide Them to Focus on Breathing

The best way to combat signs of a panic attack is through breathing. Guiding the person to do simple breathing exercises with you can calm their nervous system and help them feel more present. Suggest that they inhale and exhale slowly, while you count the seconds. Breathe with them and repeat this exercise several times until you notice they are starting to feel calmer. Slowing the exhale is especially important as calm breathing helps regulate the nervous system, which is crucial for someone experiencing a panic attack. 

 

3.Use Grounding Techniques

Once you’ve done the breathing exercises and you notice that the peak of the panic attack is gone, you should practice grounding techniques with them. Ask them to name five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste. While doing this exercise, you can help them focus on the temperature of the floor, the material of the chair, the fabric of their clothes, etc. 

 

4. Give Them Space if Needed

Before you start doing any of the breathing or grounding exercises, make sure you’re aware of their personal boundaries. If a person seems to struggle or is nervous because of the techniques or support you’re providing, stop on time and do something that will help calm them down. Look for signs they may need less from you, whether it’s fewer words or fewer activities. Don’t over-question them and allow them to have a moment to simply breathe and become aware of what’s happening. 

 

5. Stay With Them Until They Recover

Some panic attacks last longer than others. Even if you’ve supported this person during a panic attack, it doesn’t necessarily imply that the next one will be the same. A person can experience different symptoms or have a longer or shorter attack period. Regardless of the duration, it’s important to stay with them even when you start noticing the symptoms are disappearing. Ask them if they need something like a glass of water or to stretch their body. Maybe they will want to talk about what just happened, or they will want you to sit with them in silence. Whatever it is, make sure you stay and show them you care. 

 

When to Seek Medical Help

Although it’s crucial to provide adequate and valuable support to the person having a panic attack, it’s best to seek medical help if you notice their symptoms don’t subside. If you suspect it is a medical emergency, don’t wait for more than a few minutes. 

Some people might confuse a heart attack for a panic attack, so it’s best to act quickly. Ask the person to list all the symptoms they are experiencing. This can help you have a better idea of the situation you’re encountering. 

If you’re not alone, ask the closest person to call the ambulance, while you ensure that the person is staying conscious and is focused on their breathing. Your help in such moments can be crucial, and it can decrease the intensity or duration of the panic attack. That is why it’s important to understand what the person is going through and which techniques to apply.

If you are suffering with anxiety, get the anxiety video for a step by step guide to help at home! 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Emotional Arousal Definition

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Emotional Arousal Definition: Stop Trauma From Controlling You

 

What is the true emotional arousal definition, and why does it matter in your relationships?

When your heart races and your mind spirals during a fight, that’s emotional arousal in action. It’s the body’s natural alarm system, preparing you to react quickly to danger or threat. Elevated heart rate, shallow breathing, tightened muscles, and a flood of overwhelming thoughts are all signs of arousal taking over.

For trauma survivors, it’s more than stress; it’s the nervous system on overdrive. Past experiences can train the body to respond as if every conflict is life-or-death, even when it isn’t. That’s why small disagreements can feel explosive, and emotional regulation may seem nearly impossible in the moment.

Learning to recognize these signals is the first step toward reclaiming control. With the right tools—grounding techniques, therapy, and conscious communication—you can break the cycle, calm your nervous system, and build relationships that feel safe, steady, and supportive.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

How Do I Forgive Someone & Move On?

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How Do I Forgive Someone & Move On?

 

If you’re wondering how do I forgive someone, you’ve come to the correct place. Some things are easier to forgive, while others are not so much. Whether you are able to forgive someone also depends on how close you are to that person and the act or words that caused you harm. Without a doubt, forgiveness is a complex topic.

Learn the best way to forgive someone and how it can allow you to live your life peacefully. This article also explains how to prepare yourself to forgive someone and how to share it with them. 

 

Forgive or Not to Forgive? 

Before we get into the steps of forgiveness, let’s take a moment to see how to determine whether or not you should forgive someone who did you wrong. This person might have lied to you, betrayed you, or hidden something from you. Whatever it was, you were hurt, and now you’re uncertain whether you should forgive them or not. 

Consider the following questions to determine whether forgiveness is possible:

  • Was the harm intentional or accidental?
  • Have they taken full responsibility without deflecting blame?
  • Did they make any effort to repair the damage or make amends?
  • Are they expressing sincere remorse, or are they primarily concerned about the consequences?
  • Do you feel safe around them now?
  • Are they willing to do the work needed to rebuild trust?
  • Is forgiveness something you’re doing for them or yourself?

 

How to Forgive Someone Important to You

Forgiving someone important to you can be tough because the hurt often cuts deeper. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm. It’s about freeing yourself from resentment and choosing peace over pain. Before jumping to the forgiveness part, you should ensure you’ve taken care of your emotional well-being first.

 

1.Acknowledge How You Feel

Even if somebody hurts us unintentionally, it still hurts. Don’t put yourself in their shoes until you’ve truly felt how it feels to be in your own. Many people will try to avoid the discomfort they feel after being hurt, and they might jump to empathize with or forgive the person right away. 

Instead, allow yourself to feel the pain. Familiarize yourself with the emotions you’re feeling and give them time to show up in different ways. Ask yourself how to support yourself more during this period, whether that’s through journaling, talking to your best friend, crying while watching sad movies, or listening to heartbreaking music. 

 

2.Understanding Over Justifying 

As much as you might love this person, don’t justify their actions or words. It’s one thing to think about why they did something and another to justify them completely. Justification takes away their responsibility, and it doesn’t allow you to truly heal. 

Being curious about the context of their behavior can help you see this person from a different perspective. Does what they did change how you see them as a person? Could you please let me know if there were any indicators before the oversight? Are they likely to repeat this behavior?

 

3.Deciding If You Want to Forgive

What is your motivation for forgiveness? Are you only trying to move past this awkward situation between the two of you? Do you feel under pressure to forgive what this person or other people in your life have done to you? 

Understanding whether the forgiveness is an opportunity to strengthen the relationship or not is also crucial for your well-being. If you’re scared that they’ll do the same thing again or you’re uncertain if they feel remorse, you’re not ready to forgive them. Take more time for yourself, regardless of what anyone might say or think about it.  

 

4.Having a Heart-to-Heart Conversation

Before you forgive them, make sure you have a conversation with them when you feel ready. Be very clear on what you want to say, yet be open to hearing their side of the story. Letting them say how this experience was for them in their own words can give you a better understanding of the person in front of you.

An open, honest dialogue is not the solution to your problem, yet it is a useful tool to assess the situation better. Are they aware of the impact this had on you? Could you please let us know what steps they are prepared to take to prevent this from occurring in the future? Lastly, don’t forget that you don’t have to forgive them during the conversation. You can take some time to digest this information first and then revise how you feel about forgiving them.

 

5.Releasing Anger

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget what has been done to you. But if you want to repair a relationship with someone who hurt you, you must do so without anger, revenge, or resentment. Forgiveness requires letting go of the thing that happened and focusing on repair. 

If you forgive them yet feel angry about it, it only means your forgiveness was premature. It’s crucial to honor your emotional process, even if it takes you longer than you expected. 

 

Forgiving Someone Who’s Not Here Anymore 

This often happens when people try to deal with their childhood traumas in adulthood, yet one or both parents are no longer alive. You might wonder if it is possible to forgive a person who is no longer alive and receive your forgiveness. The answer is yes, of course. 

Forgiveness is mostly dependent on how you feel about something and if you’re ready to forgive. Even if a person is not here to correct their wrongs, it doesn’t mean you can’t forgive them and let go of that burden. 

That said, make sure you’re not making yourself forgive someone just because they’re not alive anymore. You have every right to feel frustrated, sad, or betrayed, and ignoring your feelings will only hurt you. If you want to talk about it, we are here to help.

 

Conclusion 

Forgiveness is essential for moving on because it frees us from the emotional weight of anger, resentment, and pain. Holding onto past hurts keeps us in a cycle of suffering, while forgiveness creates space for healing, growth, and peace. It doesn’t mean condoning what happened or forgetting the impact; it means choosing not to let the wound define your future. By releasing blame, we reclaim our power, paving the way for emotional clarity and deeper self-respect. Forgiveness is not a favor to the one who hurt us, but a gift we give ourselves to move forward with a lighter heart.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

The Danger of Being a People Pleaser

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The Danger of Being a People Pleaser

 

Saying yes to everything and everyone might seem kind, yet few people realize the danger of being a people pleaser.

Who is a people pleaser? Someone who seeks approval and affection above all else, often at the expense of their own needs and desires.

Do you always say yes to avoid conflict or rejection? If so, and you want to change, there are practical techniques to minimize your need to please others. But before learning how to fix this pattern, it’s important to understand how people pleasing affects you and those around you.

Understanding People Pleasing

People pleasing often develops from deeper psychological and emotional patterns. Many learn it in childhood, especially in homes where love and approval were conditional. If a child’s needs were ignored or praised only when they were obedient, they may grow up believing safety comes from being agreeable and accommodating.

Emotional neglect or abuse can strengthen the belief that worth is tied to being useful or likable. Someone with low self-esteem and fear of rejection may use pleasing others as protection from being left alone.

Society also plays a role. In cultures that reward politeness and self-sacrifice, being agreeable often becomes a predictable path to praise and acceptance. Acts of kindness are not the problem, what matters is whether you consider your own needs first.

Signs of People Pleasing

You may be a people pleaser if you:

  • Say “yes” when you want to say “no”

  • Feel guilty about setting boundaries

  • Constantly worry about what others think

  • Avoid conflict even when issues need to be addressed

  • Feel responsible for others’ happiness

  • Overcommit and burn out

  • Struggle to express your real opinions or desires

Kindness is different from people pleasing. Kindness is rooted in love, generosity, and choice. People pleasing is driven by fear of rejection. While kindness nurtures both giver and receiver, people pleasing often ends in resentment, exhaustion, and loss of authenticity.

Consequences of People Pleasing

Constantly putting others first comes with consequences. The severity depends on how long you’ve been doing it and how far you go.

Loss of Identity and Boundaries

Many people pleasers eventually notice they have no clear sense of self. Always being available to others leads to burnout and the painful realization that they’ve neglected their own needs. Setting boundaries for the first time can feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for growth.

Stress and Exhaustion

Trying to make everyone happy is draining. People pleasers often carry chronic stress, emotional fatigue, and even resentment in relationships. Eventually, pleasing others becomes a chore. When you ask for change, others may resist because they’re used to your support. Breaking the pattern is tough, but worth it.

Loss of Authenticity

Over time, people pleasers lose touch with who they are. Small joys may feel pointless compared to helping others. Worse, people pleasers often attract toxic or manipulative personalities who exploit their need to give. Get more ideas on how to connect.

 

How to Break Free from People Pleasing? 

Breaking free starts with self-awareness. Ask yourself:

  • Why do I need to please others?

  • What do I gain from it?

Journaling, therapy, or inner child work can help uncover the early experiences that shaped these habits.

Learn to Say “No”

Saying no without guilt is a powerful skill. At first, it may feel uncomfortable, but each honest “no” reinforces your right to honor your time, energy, and well-being.

Practice Boundaries and Assertiveness

Boundaries aren’t about rejection. They’re clear agreements about what you can and cannot offer. Communicating calmly and directly allows others to understand your needs while protecting your emotional health.

 

Conclusion

To break free from people pleasing, reconnect with your values and desires. Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? What do I want from life without considering others’ expectations?

This process requires accepting discomfort. People pleasers often fear being disliked or seen as “difficult.” But real growth comes when you stop seeking universal approval. Freedom lies in embracing imperfection and choosing authenticity over perfection.

Are you ready to take the first step? If you’d like support, consider scheduling a session today.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Impulsive Buying

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Impulsive Buying: How to Stop Yourself From Buying Things You Don’t Need

 

Impulsive buying refers to purchasing things without any plan or need. An impulsive buyer will buy something because it caught their eye, made them feel good, or triggered a specific emotional response. In other words, impulsive buying refers to purchases that we are not rational about. That said, we’re all guilty of buying things we actually don’t need. 

Impulsive buying refers more to people who can’t resist buying something. They will make more impulsive purchasing decisions than rational ones, which can ultimately affect their personal finances. Before we suggest tools that can help you stop making this type of purchasing decision, it’s important to take a look at the reasons why some people become impulsive buyers. 

 

Causes of Impulsive Buying Behavior 

A mix of emotional triggers, psychological tendencies, and environmental cues often drives impulsive buying behavior. On an emotional level, people tend to shop impulsively when they are feeling stressed, bored, or seeking a quick mood boost. Purchasing something new can release dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical, offering instant gratification and a temporary emotional lift. 

This makes impulsive buying appealing during moments of emotional vulnerability or when someone is trying to cope with negative feelings. Some people even have a natural tendency toward lower self-control or higher materialism, making them more prone to spontaneous purchases.

Social media amplifies this effect through influencer endorsements and viral trends, which create a sense of urgency and FOMO (fear of missing out). When combined with quick access to credit, one-click purchases, and constant exposure to advertising, the modern shopping environment makes it increasingly difficult for consumers to resist the urge to buy on impulse. 

 

Impulsive Buying Signs 

However, not every person who shops regularly is an impulsive buyer. To understand the true motivation behind your purchasing decision, honestly answer the following questions:

  • Do you often buy things you didn’t plan to purchase when shopping?
  • Do sales, discounts, or “limited time offers” encourage you to make quick purchases?
  • Have you ever bought something just because it looked appealing at the moment, even if you didn’t need it?
  • Do you sometimes regret purchases shortly after making them?
  • Do you shop to feel better when you’re sad, bored, stressed, or anxious?
  • Do you frequently buy items online late at night or while distracted?
  • Are there items in your home with tags still on or things you’ve never used?
  • Do you tend to justify unnecessary purchases by saying, “I deserve this” or “It was on sale”?
  • Do you find it difficult to stick to a shopping list or budget?
  • Have you ever hidden a purchase from someone or felt embarrassed about spending?
  • Do you buy things simply because others have them (influencers, friends, trends)?
  • Do you often check shopping apps or browse stores without needing anything specific?
  • Do you occasionally use credit or buy-now-pay-later options for purchases that are NOT urgent? Do you do this without fully considering the long-term costs?

 

How to Stop Buying Impulsively 

If you’ve answered most of our questions positively, it would be good to consider implementing a strategy that will help you make more rational decisions when buying things. Luckily, a range of such techniques exists, allowing you to try each of them and see which one is most efficient. 

 

1. Create a 24-Hour Rule

Before making a non-essential purchase, wait 24 hours (or even 72 hours for bigger items over $200+). This delay helps break the emotional urge and allows you to assess whether you genuinely need or want the item.

 

2. Shop with a List 

Always bring a written or digital list when shopping (online or in person). If it’s not on the list, please refrain from purchasing it. This keeps you focused and prevents wandering into temptation zones.

 

3. Use the “Cost in Time” Technique

Ask yourself, “How many hours of work is this worth?” Framing a purchase in terms of time rather than money can shift your perspective and reduce impulse decisions.

 

4. Unsubscribe and Unfollow

Unsubscribe from marketing emails, brand newsletters, and social media influencers or accounts that frequently trigger your spending urges. The less you’re exposed to shopping triggers, the fewer chances you’ll buy on impulse.

 

5. Remove Saved Payment Info

Delete saved credit card information from websites and apps to make it harder to buy impulsively. Adding extra steps to complete a purchase allows you more time to rethink it.

 

6. Track Your Spending

Use a budget app or journal to record every purchase. When you start seeing patterns in your spending habits, especially on impulse buys, it becomes easier to recognize and stop them.

 

7. Identify Emotional Triggers

Notice when you’re tempted to buy impulsively. Is it when you’re stressed, bored, or feeling low? Once you recognize the emotional root, find healthier coping mechanisms (like walking, journaling, or calling a friend).

 

Practicing Conscious Consumption

Practicing conscious consumption means making intentional, informed, and values-driven decisions about what you buy, how much you buy, and where your purchases come from. It’s about shifting from automatic or emotional spending to thoughtful, purposeful choices that align with your personal ethics, needs, and long-term goals. 

Rather than accumulating items out of habit, social pressure, or instant gratification, conscious consumers pause to ask questions like, Do I really need this? Who made it? What impact does this purchase have on the environment or the people involved in producing it? This mindset encourages quality over quantity and supports sustainability, ethical labor, and financial well-being.

In everyday life, conscious consumption can take the form of purchasing local or secondhand products, supporting brands with transparent practices, or simply purchasing fewer items overall. It entails becoming more aware of the marketing tactics and emotional triggers that lead to impulsive spending, as well as learning to pause and reflect before making a purchase.

This will not only help you cut down on waste and clutter, but it may also make the things you do choose to own more fulfilling and meaningful. In the end, mindful consumption gives you back control over your expenditures and helps you match your financial practices with your priorities and deeper values.

 

Conclusion

In conclusion, impulsive buying can quietly drain your finances, clutter your space, and leave you with regret. With awareness and a few practical strategies, you can take control. 

By pausing before purchases, identifying emotional triggers, and aligning your spending with your actual values, you’ll stop buying things you don’t need and cultivate a more intentional, satisfying relationship with money.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Negative Self Talk

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Negative Self Talk: Why We Do It and How to Stop

 

Negative self-talk is not uncommon, yet having constant negative thoughts can harm your mental health and impact the way you perceive the world around you. Negative self-talk is your inner dialogue that is critical, self-defeating, or pessimistic. It prevents you from having high self-esteem and enjoying life properly. After all, if you believe you’re unworthy of something, it’s likely that you won’t even attempt it or enjoy the experience.

Although we’re all aware that negative self-talk impacts us negatively, it’s not so simple to get rid of that critical voice inside your head. That is why we’ve decided to examine why some people have negative inner dialogues while others do not and explore ideas on how to overcome negative self-talk for good.

 

What Is Negative Self-Talk? 

Negative self-talk is the habit of thinking and speaking to yourself in ways that undermine your confidence, lower your mood, and limit your potential. It’s the voice in your head that says things like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess things up.” Negative self-talk is more than just occasional self-doubt. It’s an ongoing internal narrative that can quietly shape the way you see yourself, others, and the world.

Negative self-talk often begins early in life and is mostly shaped by critical or perfectionist parents, teachers, or coaches. Social media and society can also shape how we perceive ourselves by setting unrealistic standards for beauty, success, or worthiness. Experiences that make you feel rejected, ashamed, or not good enough can lead to negative self-talk.

Most of the time, shame can be found at the core of this. Feeling like you’re not worthy enough for certain things in life or that you’re better off staying small is a big part of negative self-talk. However, when we’re ashamed to show ourselves to the world, it prevents us from growing and connecting with everything and everyone around us in a way we deserve. 

These beliefs operate like background software, influencing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, often without your awareness. Negative self-talk is a habit, not your identity. Like any habit, it can be changed. With awareness, practice, and compassion, you can shift your inner dialogue into something more balanced and empowering.

 

How to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Although you might feel like you don’t have control over your negative self-talk, there are certain steps you can follow to reduce it. Don’t expect to get rid of it completely at first. Changing the way you talk to yourself takes time. 

 

1. Become Aware Of Your Negative Self-Talk

Most negative self-talk is automatic. In other words, you don’t even know that your inner voice is being criticized. However, it has a major impact on how you feel, the decisions you make, and how you communicate with people in your life. It would be impossible to change something if you don’t notice it. 

Start by observing your inner dialogue throughout the day. Pay attention to what situations tend to trigger negative self-talk. Consider scenarios such as encountering failure, perusing social media, or engaging in a disagreement with someone. Notice the tone of these thoughts: are they harsh, sarcastic, anxious, or overly critical?

Also, tune into your body. Where do you feel the impact of these thoughts? It may manifest as tightness in your chest, a sinking feeling in your stomach, or tension in your shoulders.

 

2. Name Your Voice

Give your inner critic a name or identity. This creates distance between you and the thought. Giving your inner critic a name can help you separate it from yourself and observe the thoughts that appear instead of being overwhelmed by them. 

You can start by giving it a name and then describing it. Playing around with your inner voice allows you to become more curious about the entire process of befriending your inner critic.  

 

3. Challenge the Thought

Once you’ve identified a negative thought, take a moment to question it. Ask yourself, “Is this 100% true?” Consider whether there is solid evidence to support the thought or if it’s based on assumptions or emotions.

Next, reflect on how you would respond if someone you loved were thinking this way. Ask, “Would I say this to a child or a close friend?” If the answer is no, then it’s likely not something you should say to yourself either. Finally, try to imagine what a more compassionate voice would say at that moment. Having compassion doesn’t mean denying your feelings but rather offering yourself kindness and truth.

 

4. Replace With Balanced Self-Talk

When you begin to shift your self-talk, it’s important to avoid toxic positivity. You’re not trying to lie to yourself or force overly cheerful thoughts. Instead, you’re offering yourself the truth spoken with kindness and compassion.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m so stupid,” you might reframe it to “I didn’t understand that, but I can learn.” Saying something like, “I’m feeling lonely right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m unlovable,” can help you overcome the feeling that no one likes you. You don’t have to be fake or overly positive—just be fair and gentle with yourself.

 

5. Use Grounding Techniques

When your inner critic starts to spiral and overwhelm you, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. One effective technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. It consists of naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This helps anchor you in your surroundings and calm your nervous system.

You can also take three deep belly breaths, slowly inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, to soothe your body and mind. Another calming practice is to place your hand on your heart and quietly say to yourself, “I’m safe. I’m here. I’m doing my best.” This simple gesture can help you reconnect with a sense of safety, presence, and self-compassion.

 

Conclusion

Negative self-talk is a deeply ingrained habit that often stems from past experiences, fear, or a perfectionist mindset. While it may feel automatic, it’s not unchangeable. By tuning into your inner dialogue, questioning negative thoughts, and embracing self-kindness, you can slowly transform your relationship with yourself. 

This isn’t about stifling all criticism. It’s about replacing harshness with compassion and kindness. The way you speak to yourself matters, just as the way you would talk to a friend or child matters. With daily practice and patience, you can create a healthier inner world that supports your growth, confidence, and emotional well-being. Change begins with one kind thought at a time.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Emotionally Focused DBT Therapy Guide

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Emotionally Focused DBT Therapy Guide

 

Emotionally focused DBT therapy uses the principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy to focus on understanding and managing emotions. We all know that our feelings can be powerful, overwhelming, and sometimes confusing. Especially when they lead to patterns of behavior that feel out of control or self-destructive. That’s where emotionally focused DBT comes in. This therapeutic approach combines the emotional depth of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with the structure and skills-based framework of DBT, offering a compassionate yet practical path to emotional healing. 

Whether you’re struggling with intense mood swings, relationship conflicts, or difficulty managing painful feelings. This guide is designed to help you understand the emotional roots of your behavior and learn practical tools to navigate them with greater awareness and balance. 

 

Understanding DBT and EFT

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a structured, evidence-based approach developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan to help individuals who struggle with intense emotions, self-destructive behaviors, and unstable relationships. DBT blends cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness and Eastern philosophical principles. Its core components include four skill areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. 

DBT aims to help people build emotional resilience, tolerate discomfort without impulsive reactions, and create more balanced, fulfilling relationships. It’s a convenient form of therapy often taught through structured group sessions, individual therapy, and skills training.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), on the other hand, is grounded in attachment theory and centers around the idea that emotional bonds are at the core of human functioning. Originally developed for couples, EFT helps individuals recognize and reshape emotional patterns that stem from early attachment wounds. Often resulting in fear, insecurity, or withdrawal in relationships. 

Instead of focusing solely on behavior or logic, EFT guides people into their deeper emotional experiences, helping them express vulnerable feelings in a safe, structured way. This creates room for healing, connection, and emotional clarity. While DBT offers the tools to manage overwhelming emotions, EFT helps uncover and transform the emotional roots that drive them, making combining the two especially powerful for long-term healing.

 

Core Components of Emotionally Focused DBT

Developing emotional awareness begins with learning to name and validate your emotions without judgment. This involves recognizing feelings as they arise, allowing them to exist without trying to suppress, fix, or avoid them. By doing so, you begin to break the cycle of emotional suppression or avoidance, which often leads to reactive or self-sabotaging behaviors.

A key part of emotionally focused work is identifying emotional wounds rooted in early attachment experiences. These unhealed scars frequently impact our current relationships with others, influencing our behaviors, emotional reactions, and expectations in relationships. By bringing awareness to these patterns, we can begin to heal and form more secure, authentic connections.

DBT provides a structured set of skills to help manage emotional intensity and build resilience. Mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts and emotions without reacting to them, allowing for more intentional responses. 

 

Practical Tools and Exercises 

You can begin deepening your emotional awareness through sample journaling prompts designed to help you explore your inner experiences, triggers, and patterns. These prompts encourage honest reflection and give structure to processing complex emotions.

In moments of emotional overwhelm, mindfulness-based grounding techniques can be used to anchor yourself in the present. These practices help calm the nervous system and create space between you and your reactions.

Using emotion tracking worksheets allows you to monitor your emotional shifts throughout the day, identify recurring patterns, and better understand how your feelings are connected to specific situations or thoughts.

Another helpful tool is relationship mapping, which involves visually outlining the emotional dynamics in your relationships. This can help you recognize emotional triggers, unmet needs, and attachment patterns that influence your behavior and reactions with others.

Other tools and exercises you might find useful are:

  • Asking yourself what you need throughout the day
  • Using an emotion wheel to identify your emotions more accurately 
  • Write a letter to yourself as if you were feeling this certain emotion
  • Create an emotional timeline for important events in your life to spot patterns
  • Write or speak a dialogue between your emotionally reactive self and your wise mind
  • Write a letter from your future healed self to your current self

 

Common Challenges and How to Work Through Them 

One common challenge during emotionally focused DBT therapy is emotional overwhelm, which can arise as you begin to explore deep-rooted feelings. It’s important to pace yourself and use grounding techniques to stay regulated while working through difficult emotions.

Another obstacle is resistance to vulnerability. Opening up emotionally can feel risky, especially if you’ve experienced rejection or trauma in the past. Building trust, either with yourself or your therapist, is key to gently lowering those defenses over time.

You may also encounter progress plateaus, where growth feels stalled or old patterns resurface. This phase is a normal part of the healing process and often signals a need to revisit your goals, refresh your coping strategies. Or give yourself grace as you integrate new emotional habits.

Lastly, it’s essential to know when to seek professional support. If self-guided work becomes too intense or if you’re dealing with trauma, suicidal thoughts, or chronic emotional dysregulation, working with a licensed therapist can provide the safety, structure, and expertise needed for deeper healing.

 

Conclusion

Emotionally focused DBT therapy offers a powerful and compassionate approach to emotional healing by combining the structure of dialectical behavior therapy with the depth of emotionally focused therapy. This integrated method teaches practical skills for managing intense emotions and helps uncover the underlying emotional wounds that often drive reactive behavior and relationship struggles. By learning to name and validate emotions, build mindfulness, and understand your attachment patterns, you can begin to shift out of survival mode and into a space of conscious, connected living.

Healing through this method takes time, patience, and courage, yet it is deeply transformative. As you learn to respond to emotions rather than react, set boundaries with clarity, and reconnect with your core needs, you’ll begin to experience greater emotional stability and more fulfilling relationships. Whether you’re working with a therapist or exploring these tools on your own, remember that emotional regulation is not about becoming emotionless. It’s about building a wiser, more balanced relationship with your feelings. Start your journey today.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Love Coach

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Love Coach: How to Fall In Love With Yourself Again? 

 

If someone talks about a love coach, you’d probably immediately assume it’s someone who guides you through your romantic relationship. Yet the most important love is self-love, because it is one that we are entirely in control of. Self-love is helpful for long-lasting relationships, career success, and your overall mental health.

If you feel like you’re falling out of love with yourself and can’t seem to find a way back, a love coach can help you rekindle the spark with yourself. Discover what to expect from a session with a love coach and how to cultivate a more positive self-image. 

 

Signs You’ve Fallen Out of Love With Yourself

You probably think more about how you feel about others than how you feel about yourself. Your self-relationship determines how you treat others and how they treat you. If you’re loving and caring to yourself, you probably won’t let others treat you any less than that. When you’re not focused on building a loving relationship with yourself, it will be confusing to navigate friendships and romantic relationships in a healthy way. 

If you’re not sure whether your relationship to yourself is nurturing or not, ask yourself if you’re experiencing the following: 

  • Constant self-criticism or negative self-talk
  • Seeking validation from others
  • Feeling unworthy or disconnected from your desires
  • Avoiding self-care or not honoring boundaries
  • Comparing yourself to others excessively

Ask yourself how often you notice these signs and when they appear in your life. By determining patterns, you can identify the triggers that might have led to falling out of love with yourself. If you haven’t been paying attention to any of them, become aware of how your attitude toward yourself shows up in everyday life. With time, you will have a clearer understanding of why you need the help of a love coach.

 

How Can Love Coach Help You

A love coach can help you in powerful, practical, and deeply emotional ways, whether you’re single, in a relationship, or trying to rebuild your connection with yourself. A love coach can help you reconnect with yourself, clarify what you need from yourself and others, and strengthen existing relationships in your life. 

With a love coach, you will work on healing your self-worth wounds. They will guide you to uncover and shift limiting beliefs about love, worthiness, and your identity. A love coach can also help you rebuild confidence: They can help you remember who you are, independent of your relationship status, your career, and everything else that’s visible in the external world. 

When you start working with your love coach, they might also suggest certain self-love rituals that would make sense for you. From mindset shifts to daily habits, they can help you fall in love with your own energy again.

However, the most important thing you’ll learn with a love coach is that they’ll help you see things more clearly. You will learn what you need to be happy and healthy in all areas of your life. With such clarity, you will also be able to spot toxic patterns in yourself and others, such as people-pleasing, emotional unavailability, or codependency.

 

Love Coach Strategies to Reignite Self-Love

There are numerous strategies your love coach can use when working with you. Depending on your personality, their work style, and other factors, they will choose one or more strategies for you. 

 

Reconnect With Your Inner Voice

Your love coach might suggest daily journaling or weekly emailing to reflect on yourself. Noticing your patterns and cultivating an authentic observer voice to your inner thoughts is helpful!

If they think you need to reconnect with yourself on a deeper level, they will suggest a technique that allows you to spend more time alone, noticing how you feel and what you need. 

One of the most helpful techniques is to ask yourself what you need right now. You can ask yourself this question several times a day or whenever you feel overwhelmed. When you have a day off, ask yourself this question in the morning to have clarity on the best way to spend the day. 

An important part of reconnecting with yourself is to step away from judgment and dive deep into curiosity. The more curious you become, the easier it will be to hear your inner voice. 

 

Build Rituals That Make You Feel Loved

We all have tiny things we enjoy throughout the day. Is it a cup of coffee? Is it blasting your favorite song and just dancing freely? Whatever it is, make sure you know which details make you happy. You can build rituals from such moments and have your own safe space when you need it.

Another thing you can turn into a ritual is to celebrate all your micro-wins and achievements. If you’re the hype person for all your friends and loved ones, become one for yourself as well. Treat yourself like someone you deeply care about.

 

Heal the Relationship With Your Body

Most of the time when we’re working on improving our relationship with ourselves, we’re focused more on the mind than on our bodies. If your body is stressed or scared, none of the mental exercises will help you relax. 

Start nourishing, moving, and listening to your body with compassion. Go to your favorite spa center for a relaxing massage or create a little spa night at home. Analyze which sensations you feel in your body before going to bed. Do you feel tension in your shoulders? Do you feel pain in your feet? Bringing awareness to your body helps your nervous system calm down and feel safer. 

 

Redefine Your Self-Worth

Detach identity from productivity, appearance, or others’ opinions. Your self-worth should only be impacted by your thoughts, emotions, and needs. Do you respect yourself or know your limits? Working on your self-worth will instantly affect all your relationships.

A beneficial way to redefine your self-worth is to use affirmations and identity rewiring techniques. Day by day, you can practice changing your mindset from negative to positive. Start by identifying the things you’d like to improve, and use discipline and dedication to change them. 

 

Conclusion

Falling in love with yourself isn’t a one-time event—it’s a continuous, fun practice, just like a relationship with a person. It’s choosing to meet yourself with grace, to show up even on the days when your light feels dim, and to commit to your healing and joy. As a love coach would remind you, the way you love yourself sets the tone for everything else in your life.

So take yourself on that solo date. Speak to yourself like someone you cherish. Set the boundary, wear the dress, or write the love letter to your future self. Do whatever you need to feel loved by yourself!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

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Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

 

If you’re wondering, ‘Why do people stay in abusive relationships?’ this article will aim to answer that question. Whether you’re reading this material to understand yourself and your relationship or you want to support a friend, this guide can help you understand why a person would choose to stay in such a relationship.

Learn how to recognize an abusive relationship, the reasons for staying, and the best ways to exit it. 

 

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship is characterized by violence, cruelty, harm, and disrespect. Treating a partner in any of these ways indicates an abusive relationship. When it comes to types, relationship abuse can be physical, sexual, spiritual, or emotional. 

These are the most common signs of an abusive relationship:

  • Constant criticism, insults, or name-calling
  • Gaslighting (making you doubt yourself) 
  • Blaming you for everything 
  • Mood swings that keep you walking on eggshells
  • Withholding affection as punishment
  • Isolating you from friends and family
  • Dictating what you wear, eat, or how you spend money (without consent) 
  • Monitoring your phone, emails, or social media
  • Yelling, screaming, or demeaning you in private or public
  • Using sarcasm or “jokes” to humiliate you
  • Hitting, slapping, punching, choking, or biting (without consent)
  • Insulting your beliefs and practices
  • Throwing objects, punching walls, or threatening with weapons
  • Grabbing, pushing, or restraining
  • Blocking exits or physically intimidating you

These are the most common signs of abusive relationships. That said, if you feel harmed by your partner’s behavior, yet it’s not on this list, it doesn’t make it okay. Abuse from loved ones is often difficult to identify, and it can be confusing for those who experience it. If you suspect your relationship is abusive, talk to a friend or a therapist and share how you feel. 

 

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

The first thing someone thinks when talking about abusive relationships is, ‘Why don’t they just leave?’ However, leaving someone you love is not easy, even if you’re not happy in a relationship with them. There are many potential reasons why someone might decide to stay in an abusive relationship. 

Trauma Bonding

A person who grew up without unconditional love or in a dangerous home is more likely to be in an abusive relationship. In these situations, children develop emotional dependence and seek that familiar dynamic. Because of this, some people choose the same partner type repeatedly. 

Low Self-Worth

A person with lower self-worth will choose to stay in a relationship that is not fulfilling for them because they think they deserve it. For example, your friends might say for a while that you deserve a better partner, yet you don’t believe them. You think you have to put up with all the drama because someone better wouldn’t be interested in you. You may believe this because your partner lied and abused you by saying you’d never find anyone better. 

Being Threatened

In more severe cases, a person might be afraid to leave, as their partner has threatened them. These threats can include lying about you or threatening self-harm if you leave. Whatever the content of these threats, you decide to stay with them, as leaving could result in undesired consequences. 

Fear of the Unknown

Starting all over again might seem scary, especially as you get older. We get used to people and the relationships we build with them, even the bad ones. Staying in the familiar situation can seem safer than navigating the unknown. This situation could have the same effect if you dislike being alone or fear independence. 

Stigma or Shame

Staying in abusive relationships to avoid shame and comments from others is common for couples with children. They may view the ending of the relationship as a personal failure, a perception that is far from accurate. There is no excuse for abusive behavior, regardless of how your decision to leave the abusive partner might seem to others. 

Financial Dependence

If your partner is earning all the money, you might feel like you can’t end the relationship. Without money, you wouldn’t be able to find an apartment and cover all your needs. That said, if your partner is abusive, you can ask your friends and family for help, including financial assistance. They can give you food and a couch until you decide what to do. Additionally, some states provide financial resources for situations like this. 

Religious or Cultural Beliefs

In some cultures and religions, ending a relationship or marriage is viewed negatively. Everyone has heard stories of a happily ever after. However, life is not made only of perfect moments and people. Knowing when to cut ties with people who treat you poorly is essential for your well-being. 

 

Breaking the Silence

Many people in abusive relationships will try their best to change their abusive partners. Understanding the distinction between relationship difficulties and an abusive partner is crucial. Instead of trying to make them understand how you feel, talk to someone whom you trust and who can truly support you, whether that person is a family member, friend, or therapist.

Talking to someone else can also help you consider how to end a relationship in the best possible way. For the same reasons that they continue in such a relationship, many victims choose to remain silent. Getting the help you need is essential and is the only way to end your suffering. If the abuse has been going on for a while and it has taken a serious toll on your health, talk to a therapist or a trusted healthcare practitioner. 

Sometimes, talking to people who have been through the same experience can help. Look for online or offline support groups and connect with people who truly understand how you feel. Talking to someone who is now recovered from such a relationship can give you hope and motivate you to leave your abusive partner. After all, whatever the reason for staying in an abusive relationship, it is not worth sacrificing your peace, health, and happiness. You deserve to be happy and with someone who wants to make you happy every day!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Netflix Adolescence: The Conversation We Need to Have

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Netflix Adolescence: The Conversation We Need to Have

 

If you still haven’t seen Netflix’s Adolescence, you’ve probably heard other people talk about it. According to Netflix, this TV series had 96.7 million views in the first three weeks, making it the ninth most-watched series on that platform. There are several reasons why this series became popular immediately, yet the most important one is that it invites us all to talk about something taboo—violent behavior in minors. 

If you still haven’t watched it, we’ll do our best not to spoil it for you. However, you probably already know what it’s about. A young boy is accused of the murder of a girl who goes to the same school as he does. Unlike any other series about this topic, Adolescence doesn’t pretend to be a crime series in which we’re anxiously waiting to learn whether he did it or not. Instead, we’re invited to learn about violent behaviors between teens, how they affect them, and what impact such a tragedy can have on a thirteen-year-old boy and his entire family. 

 

Adolescent Violence

This series showed viewers that adolescent violence is taboo for some reason. Children feel like they have to hide it from their parents, and the parents assume that everything is alright if their child is not asking for help. The series also addressed the school system’s lack of ability to provide that support to students. 

Underpaid educators and overworked parents are struggling with so many issues in their adult lives that the social component of growing up is completely overlooked. Just because a person is a good teacher or a good parent, it doesn’t mean that the child will be protected from anything that’s going on in school. Peer pressure and social media play a giant role in today’s adolescent years. This generation is going through something that previous generations haven’t experienced. Maybe that’s also one explanation for why these kids lack support when they need it the most.

 Most importantly, it is crucial to include teens in the conversation about violent behaviors. This Netflix series made that obvious and invited parents to check in on their children and ask about these things. Instead of asking the question, ‘How was school today?’ sit with them and start a conversation about “what was the most challenging part of your day” or “what was the highlight of your day?” Pay attention to their words and the topics they avoid talking about. If you believe that your kid finds going to school stressful, talk to them about visiting a therapist and highlight the benefits of therapy. 

 

How to Talk About Violence With Your Child

If this series has made you realize the significance of discussing child violence, there are several actions you can take to enhance the comfort and mutual benefit of such conversations. You’ll want to keep this conversation going. If you haven’t talked to your child about this before, the first conversation could be longer. But you should ask them how they feel about school and their friends. 

 

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Make sure all your questions are open-ended. It’s possible that your child will not feel comfortable talking about this topic at first, and asking yes or no questions might make the conversation short and dry. Instead, ask them open-ended questions and show curiosity while talking to them. To start, you might want to ask questions like:

  • What is your favorite thing about going to school?
  • What is your least favorite thing about going to school? 
  • How do you spend your lunch break?
  • Are there kids who usually sit alone? Why do you think that is?
  • Is there somebody in your class who makes other kids uncomfortable or sad?

Give them time to respond to each of your questions. When you’ve both decided to stop the conversation, ensure they know that you want them to continue talking about this topic with you. If they have shared something that makes them uncomfortable going to school, follow up regularly to see how they feel. 

 

Don’t Offer Solutions

One of the common traps for parents is offering solutions. When you provide solutions to your kids’ problems, you’re not teaching them to be able to solve them. You are making them dependent on you or someone else later in life. Instead, ask them what they think is the best solution. You can ask questions such as:

  • What do you think is the best way to solve this?
  • If this were happening to you, what would you do? 
  • How can I support you and give you what you need now?

If they don’t come up with anything, don’t jump in with suggestions. They could come up with their answer in a few hours or tomorrow. It’s more about getting them to think of solutions than solving the problems they mentioned. 

 

Share Your Experience

Children respond to similar experiences. Don’t forget they only know the adult version of yourself. That is why it’s critical to tell them about your similar experience. If someone made fun of them, share your feelings about a similar experience you had at their age. 

Don’t just tell them what happened; tell them how you felt. Sharing your feelings can resonate with a child going through the same situation. Sharing a similar story goes much further than simply saying you understand them. The story can also motivate them to think about how they feel and share these feelings with you. 

 

Keeping the Conversation Open

As we’ve mentioned already, the most important thing to do here is to maintain this conversation with your kid regularly. Let them know they can come back to you anytime with questions or worries. It’s better to have an ongoing conversation than a one-time talk.

Be sure to provide them with an example. You can model how to approach their issues, but don’t offer solutions. Children learn from watching their parents and not just hearing them talk. How you react to different situations and your emotional stability can guide your kids. If you think that situations at school are impacting your child’s emotional and mental health, consider taking them to a trusted therapist. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Deal with Grief

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How to Deal with Grief: Honoring Your Feelings and Finding Peace 

 

Nobody knows how to deal with grief until we are faced with the loss of someone we care about. Even then, it’s not uncommon for many people to struggle with processing grief in a healthy way. Some will start to focus on something else to avoid feeling this enormous pain, while others might develop unhealthy habits to numb themselves. 

Grief is an overwhelming emotion that cannot be processed in one day. It doesn’t have a timeline or a determined list of symptoms. Each person can experience different emotions and behaviors as they go through grief. That said, what matters the most is to give your best to honor how you feel and seek peace in these difficult moments. 

 

Understanding Grief

Before we go into the recommended way to deal with grief, it’s important to understand it first. There are numerous definitions of grief, yet none of these words come close to experiencing it for the first time. This intense sorrow can creep up on you slowly or hit you from the moment your loved one died. 

Grief typically expresses itself through five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The signs of these stages can differ from person to person. You might notice obvious signs of certain stages, while others might pass more unnoticed. However, acceptance is the last stage of grief, no matter how long you’ve grieved. 

Although we usually talk about death when discussing grief, you can also experience this emotion during a breakup, job loss, or any other major change in your life. 

 

Honoring Your Feelings

There is no right or wrong way to feel something. However, certain thinking and behavior patterns can be harmful to you. These behaviors can prevent you from going through the entire process of grief and never truly healing from the loss you’ve experienced. 

People who lose someone they love often confuse acceptance with forgetting that person or acting as if they never existed. Acceptance refers to healing from the emotions that you felt due to the loss. Whether you were angry or afraid after you lost your loved one, acceptance means that you’ve processed these emotions properly and are ready to conclude your grieving process. Don’t confuse it for a happy or uplifting feeling. Acceptance doesn’t feel like joy; it simply feels like you’ve found peace. 

Knowing such information can help you allow yourself to feel whatever is coming up without judgment. Don’t compare your grieving process to someone else’s. People grieve in different ways. You might notice that you feel better after you’ve had a long conversation with your best friend. If you don’t like talking to others, you can try journaling your emotions and thoughts as well. Reaching out to a therapist provides a safe space to share your feelings and needs. If you love art and creativity, you could write poetry, paint, write letters to the deceased, dance, etc. 

 

Asking for Support

Grief can be so overwhelming sometimes that you could easily forget that other people care for you and want to support you. Friends, family, therapists, support groups, and new people you meet can all support you throughout this process. Make sure you’re honest with yourself and with others about what you need at a given moment.

Don’t be afraid to set limits if necessary. Respect your needs and do whatever feels right. If you want to go out to dinner with friends, do it. If you want to stay at home instead, cancel your plans and take care of yourself. Seek out a therapist to aid in your recovery if you feel unsupported. 

 

Practicing Self-Care

Self-care might seem contradictory to how you feel, yet it’s important to maintain your well-being. Do your best to sleep enough hours and not spend too much time scrolling through social media to avoid feeling your emotions. 

Eat well and eat frequently. Sometimes grief is so hard you can’t get up and cook. Try to be physically active, yet avoid working out too much. Walking, stretching, jogging, or any type of light exercise can help you connect with your emotions and process them in a healthy way. 

You can try meditating or any of the mindfulness techniques to calm your mind and listen to your body. Such techniques can help ease emotional distress. Embrace each day as it comes, and be mindful of your personal needs. If you don’t feel like cooking, order food from your favorite restaurant. If you don’t want to go to the gym, stretch at home on your yoga mat. 

 

Finding Meaning and Peace

With time, you will want to reflect on cherished memories and celebrate the life of the person you lost. Many times, people will ask themselves, ‘Why did this person have to die?’. What we should ask ourselves in such a situation is, ‘Why did this person live?’. Think about their values, dreams, and all the experiences they had throughout their life. What would be the best way to pay respect and celebrate that? 

This could be volunteering, creating a tribute, practicing spiritual practices, or doing anything else that reminds you of that person. Of course, engaging in such activities will only make sense if they bring you comfort as well. 

 

Conclusion

Grief is a deeply painful and personal experience that cannot be compared to anything else. Losing someone you love is a devastating process that requires time, patience, and comprehension. 

If you’re currently going through a grief process, be kind to yourself. Do the little things that bring comfort. Process your emotions in a way that seems natural to you. The present is not where you need to set expectations. Embrace each day as it comes. Ask for support when you need it. 

 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Deal with + Heal From a Toxic Mother

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How to Deal with + Heal From a Toxic Mother

 

A Toxic Mother or father can add significant challenges and difficulties to our lives, as parents or caregivers have a tremendous impact on the development of our identity and how we experience the world around us.

Because of our loyalty to our family and the values we share with them, we often are not aware of their harmful ways. Of course, a lot of hurt that comes from family members is unintentional, yet that doesn’t make it less painful.

That is why, in this article, we’ve decided to look closer at examples of a toxic mother, how to deal with her, and ways to heal from mother wounds. During the process of discovery and learning, make sure you are kind to yourself. Your only end goal is to provide yourself with everything she couldn’t. 

 

Characteristics of a Toxic Mother

Nobody is perfect. While we live, we will bring joy to others, yet we will also hurt someone we love. It’s impossible to avoid getting hurt or hurting someone. That said, mothers are responsible for their children until a certain age. Many will realize that they’ve had a toxic mother long after they have moved out of their family home. 

Although hundreds of books have been written about this topic, there is still a lot of confusion about what can be characterized as a toxic mother. To offer a framework of behaviors that are common in toxic mothers, we’ve compiled this list:

  • She fails to respect your boundaries by simply ignoring them, questioning them, or making fun of them.
  • She refuses to take accountability when she makes a mistake.
  • She never apologizes for her words or actions and instead blames you.
  • She shows a lack of empathy for your problems, needs, or feelings.
  • She has high expectations and makes sure you’re aware you’re not meeting them.
  • She either avoids conflicts or turns them into counterproductive arguments.
  • She uses manipulation to make you do or say whatever she thinks is best.
  • She doesn’t like your friends and always finds a flaw in each of them.
  • She loves to be the center of attention and hates it when you or someone else takes that away from her. 
  • She controls your decisions and doesn’t allow you to live your life how you want to. 
  • She doesn’t take care of her health and expects you to care for her. 

 

There are many other examples of toxic mothers. Unfortunately, their actions can create serious consequences for their children. As much as a child loves their mother and wants to find a reason for such behavior, it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurts. The way a person deals with such hurt can differ depending on their personality, upbringing, social circle, and other factors. 

 

How to Heal from a Toxic Mother

A bigger question than how to identify a toxic mother is how to deal with her. What do you do when she undermines everything you do and are? How do you handle the expectation that you should prioritize her needs over your own life?

Whatever the situation with your mother might be, there are a few steps you can take to protect yourself. The best way to handle her depends on your situation and natural style. 

 

  1. Recognize Toxic Behaviors

Once you know which of your mother’s behaviors are harming you, it will become easier to prepare a strategy and take care of yourself. Go back to our list above and select which characteristics apply to your mother.

Then, think of the situations in which this behavior is activated. What does she say in these situations? The idea is that you familiarize yourself with the way her toxicity functions. As it could be challenging to have a conversation with her that would change her behavior, your best strategy is to prepare. 

That way, hearing her repeat the exact same phrases you wrote down won’t surprise you next time. It might still hurt, yet it will not be a scenario in which you lose control and allow her to treat you how she wants.

 

  1. Set Boundaries

There are two types of boundaries we have to explain when dealing with toxic mothers. One type of boundary is toward her, and the other is for you. Oftentimes, we’re focused more on setting the boundaries for others and not for ourselves.For instance, you might say to her to stop raising her voice at you. That is a boundary that she might or might not respect. However, setting a boundary for yourself here is what matters the most. If you decide to leave her house anytime, she lacks respect. That is a healthy boundary you’ve set to protect yourself from her. 

In a way, you are just as responsible for doing anything you can to feel safe as she is for respecting your boundaries. 

 

  1. Practice Emotional Detachment 

Emotional attachment is the most natural way to feel about your parents. If you have a toxic parent, on the other side, you’ll need to start practicing emotional detachment. There are many techniques available for this.

You might want to write down everything you want from her and know she’ll never give you. Or, you might want to go through one of your fantasies with your therapist to understand better why you seek her validation. 

Essentially, you want to understand the expectations you have from your relationship with your mother. As painful as it may be to admit that these expectations will never be met, doing so allows you to make room for others who may be able to meet them. 

Maybe you’ve always wanted your mother to congratulate you on your successful career, yet she’s only been diminishing all your achievements. Realizing the truth could free you from such expectations in the future and help you find a better place to meet that need.

 

  1. Work with a Therapist

The relationship between a mother and her child is a complicated one. Because we weren’t able to stand up for ourselves during childhood, it becomes quite challenging to work on these wounds alone. Therapists understand this relationship and can provide a more objective perspective.

With time, they can provide you with the knowledge and skills you need to break free from this toxic relationship. They can also help you set clear boundaries and see that relationship for what it is.

After all, this person is your mother, and nothing can change it. Each person can manage this relationship differently, yet what matters the most is that you heal from it and not carry that pain inside yourself. When you see your mother clearly, you can see yourself without her lenses. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Let Go Of Someone

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How to Let Go Of Someone + Say Bye to Affair Partner

 

For whatever reason, you might have found yourself in a love triangle and are now thinking about how to let go of someone and work on your marriage. Even when society talks about marriage affairs, we do it in a very judging way, suggesting the person end the affair, admit to their spouse, and divorce them afterward.

Not all marriages are the same, and not all marriage affairs are the same. As big as our need to put a label on things is, the truth is that every situation is different. Your reasons for falling for someone outside your marriage may differ from your friend’s or spouse’s perspective, which may also contrast with the majority’s view.

That is why we’ve decided to provide support if you’re currently considering letting go of the person you were seeing. Despite your future plans, you’ll want to end this relationship well and move on. 

 

Reasons to End an Affair

There are many reasons why you might end an affair, from guilt to not finding this person intriguing anymore. If you’ve seen the movie Babygirl with Nicole Kidman and Antonio Banderas, which is in movie theaters right now, you might have noticed a different perspective on this matter.

In the movie, she does not start the affair because she is bored with her marriage. She is not seen by him, and she doesn’t feel encouraged to show him her other side, which is kept hidden throughout all the years of their marriage. This leads to activating this part of her with a younger stranger, who starts working in her company as an intern. He teases her, plays with her, and then seduces her. 

Other reasons may include differing relationship goals, especially if the other person

is unmarried. During this experience, you might also find out that you want to work more on your marriage. Your marriage is important, and the affair made you want to work harder to improve it.

 

I Cheated… Now What? 

If you’ve ended your affair and are not certain about the next steps to take, let’s look at your options together. First, there is this giant question of whether or not to admit the affair to your spouse. The answer will depend entirely on you; however, keep in mind that the guilt can creep into your life, affect your marriage, your health, and so much more. It is not an effortless thing to carry around, especially if you are devoted to the idea of saving your marriage.

If you decide to tell your spouse, you will want to do it with your heart open, using kind words and truly asking for forgiveness. Tell them the reason you decided to start an affair and share everything this decision has taught you. For instance, you might say that you realized how it’s been a really long time since the two of you tried something new in bed or spent time alone without kids.

Most importantly, respect your spouse’s needs. They might need time to think about it, or they might get outraged at you. Whatever it is, be patient. It’s not an easy thing to hear, and they might need some time to process all of it. If you want to save your marriage, you will have to be mindful of how your spouse feels and what they need. You might feel the need to overexplain yourself or ask for forgiveness several times, yet try not to do that. Respecting them means that you can give them exactly what they need during this process.

 

A Path to Healing

Oftentimes, a person having an affair will be so focused on analyzing their spouse’s behaviors, emotions, and words that they’ll forget about themselves. You have every right to take care of yourself during this process. Such care can mean different things, from starting individual therapy to journaling.

Even if the affair means nothing to you anymore, it’s still worth revisiting these momen

ts and asking yourself certain questions. What made you say yes to this adventure? What did you learn from it? Is there something you need to forgive yourself? Your healing path doesn’t have to depend on whether or not your spouse wants the same thing as you.

Once you’re both on the same page, consider seeking marital counseling. There are many things here that need to be addressed for you both to properly heal from this experience. Otherwise, emotions like guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, and doubts can appear in different situations and cause arguments between the two of you.

Establishing trust after the affair is more important than anything else. If you’re unable to trust each other with time, it can make the marriage impossible. These are the things an expert in marriage therapy can help you with.

Many couples have recovered from affairs and have become even more connected after it. A therapist will provide you with space to discuss your fears and doubts instead of ignoring them or treating them superficially. They will help you listen to each other and truly see the other person’s perspective. Soon, you’ll both feel better and learn from this experience instead of being afraid of it. If you love someone, you will want to move on and be excited about your future together.

If this all feels confusing, maybe it’s time to schedule a session. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Trauma Release Exercises

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Trauma Release Exercises You Can Do From Home

 

Whether or not you’re already seeing a therapist, there are certain trauma release exercises you can do from the comfort of your home. It can be a great addition to your therapy, or you can use it whenever you want to release tension or unwind from a stressful day.

Although we’re all mostly used to busy, dynamic lifestyles, our bodies need time to relax and release all the tension they have accumulated throughout time. Giving yourself some time to do so can help you become more present in your life, understand better what you care about, and how to ensure you protect yourself from stressful situations.

 

What are Trauma Release Exercises?

Trauma-release movements aim to relieve deep muscle patterns of chronic stress, muscle tension, and trauma-related physical discomfort. These exercises can be quite beneficial in helping to release any stored stress and trauma, as they activate the body’s natural tremoring mechanism. Trauma-release exercises can be a wonderful way for your body to let go of tension that has been held for a long time, helping you to find a sense of balance again. 

Anyone experiencing stress, anxiety, or witnessed discomfort while alone and without support can consider trauma-release exercises. It benefits those who have tightness, discomfort, or inflammation in their bodies. Trauma-release exercises can benefit those with family, housing, financial, or health issues. Such exercises can help anyone whose health and well-being are being jeopardized by stress, overload, worry, or pain.

 

Examples of Trauma Release Exercises

There are several different types of TREs that can help people let go of unresolved trauma. As you experiment with them, you may discover that some have a greater influence on you than others. You may consult a mental health practitioner to decide which trauma release exercises would benefit you best if you’re uncertain or you feel like they can maybe trigger you into reliving your trauma again. 

 

Stretching 

Stretching is one of the most popular TREs since it helps release tense muscles. The modified TRE, or standing forward fold with shaking, promotes relaxation and helps the release of tension held in the muscles. Keep in mind to pay attention to your body and modify the level of intensity as necessary.

The way to do it is to stand with your feet hip-width apart while also relaxing your knees. When you feel comfortable, start slowly bending forward at the hips and feel your upper body becoming more relaxed as you go. After you’ve done a few movements, start gently shaking your body. You can do a sway from one side to another or from the lower part of your body to your head. 

Yet if you can, while you’re gently shaking your body, don’t force or jerk any movements and allow your body to release tension. During shaking, think of an animal after a bath, and focus on taking slow, deep breaths, as it also helps release tension or stress stored in the body. 

Once you feel like you’re done, slowly stop with the shaking. Bring attention to the rest of your body and notice how your body feels after this exercise. You may feel warmer, sillier, or back to a primal state like a dog. 

 

The Spiral Technique

This is one of the trauma-release exercises you can do on your own or with your therapist. It requires you to close your eyes, see your body, and recall the unpleasant experience or trauma. During this process, monitor your body’s response, particularly your heartbeat and stomach.

Think of that part of your body as a spiral, and observe how quickly or slowly it turns. Push the spiral in the other direction with your thoughts. This may be a difficult task if you’re practicing it for the first time, yet it will become more natural with time. 

As you do the spiral technique, be mindful of your breathing. When you’re ready, return your focus to your surroundings and pay attention to your physical sensations. Keep your eyes open, pay attention to your breathing, and hold onto any safety or calm you have experienced during the exercise.

 

Wall Sitting Stretch for Upper Legs

If you are noticing some tension in your upper legs, it could be helpful to explore this technique. Lie flat on your back. Bend your knees, making sure your feet are right underneath you, and bring them together. Bring your heels as close as you can to your body and spread your knees. During this exercise, it’s important to keep your foot soles together. 

Once you feel ready, raise your hips off the ground and keep them in the air for 30 to 60 seconds, depending on what feels comfortable to you. Then, lower the hips to the ground and press the body against your heels. Use this time to recover and breathe. When you feel ready to repeat this exercise, bring your knees a bit closer and lift your hips. Repeat this as many times as necessary, until the knees are joined together. 

You don’t have to do the entire exercise at once; you can take as many pauses as you need or slowly extend the exercise by one movement each time you perform it. 

 

Benefits of Trauma Release Exercises 

The majority of people report both physical and mental benefits from trauma-release exercises, which can assist with PTSD, anxiety, and other chronic problems. Additionally, even those with physical restrictions or impairments can safely do TRE stretches at home. To prevent hurting oneself or making preexisting issues worse, make sure you modify stretches to suit your requirements. Each body is different, so it’s best to listen to it for instructions instead of forcing something that might not work for you. 

Trauma work means taking care of your bodily, mental, and emotional needs. To help with your healing process, take good care of yourself before, during, and after trauma release activities. Keep yourself active, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep to meet your other fundamental needs.

 

Conclusion

Trauma-release exercises are a recommended method for removing stress from your body at home. However, don’t hurry it and start slow! When exercising, pay attention to how your body feels instead of pushing yourself to the point of great discomfort. 

Keep in mind to breathe deeply and to let your body move freely. If you have trouble practicing independently or have mobility limitations, think about locating a certified TRE practitioner or talk to your therapist about it. 

 

Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety and Stress

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Stress Relief Activities

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Stress Relief Activities to Unwind and Recharge

 

If you’ve been overwhelmed with responsibilities lately, learning which stress relief activities can help you relax and get back on track. Whether it’s work, family, or your health, feeling stressed can only make things worse. However, most of the time, we’re not aware of the activities that can help us step away from all the tension. 

Whatever your life looks like, what we all have in common is the inability to control external factors. In other words, we can’t control what will happen. What we can control is how we react to these external events until we dismantle the greater systems at large. So, if we spend time focusing on activities that help us restore and relax, we may be able to respond more to what life throws at us. 

In this article, we’ll share with you the most efficient stress relief activities you can start implementing today. Try them until you’ve found the ones that resonate best with your personality and goals. If none, consider our YouTube techniques. 

 

1.Meditation

Nowadays, everyone is talking about meditation—and for a good reason. Meditation helps you find inner peace by sitting still, breathing, and exploring what your inner world wants to tell you. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, meditation allows you to pay attention to sensations in your body. When was the last time you were present at the moment, and your mind wasn’t going through your to-do list or avoiding that list? 

The good news is that you do not need anything to begin meditation if you have never done it before. Just find a quiet, comfortable place and dedicate 10 minutes to just being in the present moment. You can meditate lying down or sitting; it’s up to you. Guided meditations and breathwork are just two of the many types of meditations available online. It’s important to say neutral to kind things to yourself, like you would a best friend, a child, or someone you are mentoring. 

 

2.Therapy

A person can only do so much on their own when it comes to improving their reaction to stressful situations. We usually look within our beliefs and skills for solutions, ignoring many more efficient options. That is where therapists come in. 

Most of the way we react to external factors is conditioned by our past experiences and the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. A therapist can help you take a closer look at how you’re reacting to stress, the reasons for it, and the alternatives. After just a few sessions, you will notice that your perspective is shifting, and you may be able to react differently to life around you.  

 

3.Journaling

Although journaling may appear to be a monotonous activity, it has numerous mental health benefits. Starting to journal, especially if you are working on gratitude, will change how you feel about your reality. 

If you focus on what you can, you will notice a new lens to old problems. Whatever you focus on grows! It’s your decision whether you’ll focus on positive or negative things in your life. 

 

4.Physical Activity

If you ask any doctor or scientist about the best activity to unwind and recharge, 99% of them will list physical activity as one of the top three suggestions. Your brain releases dopamine and endorphins when you exercise, making you feel good. 

You can start with any physical activity that seems interesting to you, whether it’s swimming, jogging, gym, hiking, or working out at home. Make sure that your chosen physical activity matches your lifestyle. For instance, if you don’t have enough free time, driving to the gym and back home might be a waste of your time. Instead, you can purchase a set of weights and equipment you’ll need to work out at home. 

 

5.Spend Time in Nature

Today’s busy lifestyle makes us forget how important spending time in nature is for us. Walking in the woods is the best way to chill out and recharge.

Explore nature according to your interests. Perhaps you would rather sit in a park and listen to the birds sing or take long walks on the beach. Make the commitment to do that at least once a week, no matter what it is. Try adding it to your calendar and creating a healthy stress-relief routine. 

 

6.Connect with Your Close Ones

We often forget how valuable personal connections are to us. We’ll postpone meeting our best friend for weeks due to work responsibilities, not being aware of how much better we feel after we’ve talked and laughed with them for hours. 

Find the time to be with your friends, family, or your romantic partner. Getting together does not have to require an exciting plan. Oftentimes, the best moments are when we’ll just talk to the ones we love while sitting on our sofa or drinking coffee in our favorite place. 

 

7.Start Your Morning Right

Do you often wake up and instinctively reach for your phone to check your emails and messages? The way you start your morning affects the rest of your day, so maybe you can consider a new habit stop. If you’re immediately focusing on your responsibilities, the day will probably feel too overwhelming for you.

Instead, why not set intentions for that day? You can decide to do a short meditation before you go about your day as well. Maybe you’ll want to mindfully drink your cup of tea or coffee in silence. Your morning ritual could be exactly what you need to become more resilient to the outer world. 

 

Conclusion 

Whether it’s talking to your therapist or going for long walks in nature, find the stress relief activity that makes you feel peaceful and fulfilled. The more you start practicing these activities, the easier it will become to navigate the challenges of the modern lifestyle. Start today, so your tomorrow is something you look forward to!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.