Why Am I So Insecure in My Body?

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Why Am I So Insecure in My Body?

 

‘Why am I so insecure in my body?’ and ‘Why is everyone else more confident?’ are common questions therapists hear.

You don’t need to be a therapist to notice how widespread insecurity has become, especially among women. Social media constantly shows examples of perfect bodies, faces, and lifestyles. Even a walk outside can bring comparisons that make you feel insecure.

The prevalence of insecurity has led many to seek solutions like plastic surgery, cosmetic procedures, extreme workouts, and strict diets. These may provide temporary relief, but the insecurity often returns, reminding us that we’re constantly evolving. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to understand that the root of insecurity can’t be addressed through these methods.

 

Epidemic of Insecurity

Feeling insecure occasionally is normal. You might worry you’re not good enough to get your dream job or attract someone’s attention. However, when these feelings make you feel unworthy, they need attention.

Industries profit from insecurity by offering costly solutions. Want to lose weight fast? Consider liposuction. Concerned about aging? Erase wrinkles with toxins. These solutions rarely provide lasting confidence, instead leading to new obsessions. Consumerism thrives on insecurity, as fulfilled individuals don’t need to buy happiness.

So why do we still feel insecure? Insecurity often stems from deeper issues that aren’t visible on the surface. To build confidence, you must dig deeper.

 

Roots of Insecurities

Most adult insecurities originate in childhood, though we may not realize it. For example, a critical parent’s comments about your appearance can leave lasting effects. Even without their presence, their voice becomes internalized, fueling insecurity.

Bullying is another cause. Judgments from peers about your appearance or style can make you sensitive to others’ opinions. This fear of rejection can lead you to seek constant approval.

Insecurities can also stem from dissatisfaction with your life. Unhappiness in your job or relationship might manifest as discontent with your body, hair, or face. Identifying when your insecurity began can help pinpoint triggers and areas for change.

 

Insecurity Triggers

Various factors can trigger insecurity. Social media is a major one. Following accounts of people with the body you desire can make you feel inadequate. Remember, much of social media is staged or edited, showing only a curated version of life. Comparing yourself to strangers is a losing game.

Negative comments about your appearance, often from family, can also be triggering. These remarks may seem insignificant but can deeply affect self-esteem.

Pay attention to subtle triggers in daily life. You might feel insecure at the gym, comparing yourself to others. In such cases, consider alternative environments, like working out at home or jogging outdoors. Identifying and managing triggers can help reduce their impact.

 

Expose Your Insecurities in a Safe Environment

‘Why am I so insecure in my body?’ is a question tied to shame and vulnerability. Insecurities are often tied to shame. Combating shame involves exposing it, and the same applies to insecurities. Talk to a close friend about how you feel. Sharing your thoughts allows them to provide support and perspective. You might even discover they share similar feelings.

If talking to a friend feels uncomfortable, consider therapy. A therapist can help you identify the roots and triggers of your insecurity and provide tools to improve your self-perception. Whether you confide in a friend or seek professional help, commit to feeling better about yourself. The ultimate goal is to love yourself just as you are.

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn Positive Body Image

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Causes of Burnout: How to Recognize Them on Time

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Causes of Burnout: How to Recognize Them on Time

 

There are numerous causes of burnout, yet several of them are quite common among people who have been feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained by their work responsibilities. Of course, burnout can happen in other areas of your life, such as planning important events like a wedding. 

The good news is that you can prevent burnout if you’re aware of its common causes and it helps you realize if any of them apply to your life. This allows you to understand the cause of your potential burnout and think about the ways you can prevent it. 

 

What Is a Burnout? 

A burnout is a state in which you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unmotivated, and it results from ongoing stress in your life or a specific area of your life. Experiencing burnout is not uncommon; however, its consequences can have a tremendous impact on your future. 

For instance, if you’re experiencing burnout from your work responsibilities, you might be unable to work or feel motivated to work for some time. Burnout requires a time of relaxation and introspection to recover, and the amount of that time might differ from one person to another. 

Stress can lead to burnout, yet the two are not the same. Stress can be a reaction to an external event and it often comes with short-term consequences. However, when you’re under stress for a while and you’re unable to recover from it as the responsibilities just keep coming your way, you’re risking burnout. In other words, stress triggers the onset of burnout, not the reverse. Typically, once you experience burnout, depending on the gravity of it, you will not be able to experience more stress and you’ll need to isolate yourself from anything that’s causing your harm.

 

Causes of Burnout

Excessive and sustained work-related stress on the body, mind, and emotions leads to burnout. This can impact other aspects of your life, including your general well-being and happiness. Knowing the signs and causes of burnout can help you protect yourself from its effects and give you a chance to reassess your beliefs and objectives.

 

1.Overwhelming Workload

Being overwhelmed by work is the most common cause of burnout. Having a never-ending to-do list might make you feel like you don’t have control over what’s happening and that you’re not achieving things. Also, you might experience worry and stress when thinking about the next day or week at work, so you’re unable to relax in your free time. 

If this sounds familiar, consider establishing a routine before or after work. For instance, you can schedule activities with your loved ones and your friends or get up early in the morning and dedicate some time to working out and your personal well-being. Of course, if there’s no sign that your work situation is about to change, maybe it’s also a good time to consider looking for another job. 

 

2.Lack of Perspective

If you work in a company that lacks overall perspective and is making its employees do their best without actually informing them how they contribute to business results, you might also experience burnout at a certain point. Working hard and not knowing why is a big trigger for many professionals. They need to feel motivated to do their best, as they are often result-driven and they need to understand how their work fits the bigger picture.

If you can’t see the point of the job you’re doing, there are a few things you can do about it. First, if possible, talk to your superior and share your concerns about not seeing the connection between your work and the results. This might encourage them to take a different approach and inform their employees, so they feel like a crucial part of the company. 

Another thing you can do is find this motivation in other areas of your life. Invest your passion and curiosity into other activities, hobbies, or side projects. Who knows, maybe one of them inspires you to start your own business? 

 

3.Injustice

As humans, we see and experience injustice almost on a daily level. However, if you are being treated poorly at work, this could have a significant impact on your well-being and your self-esteem. Your boss might have personal problems and they are taking it out on you, so you feel scared to suggest new ideas or terrified whenever you’re called in for a performance review. 

If a person is giving you unfair treatment, whether we’re talking about a boss or a colleague, it’s quite unlikely they will change the way they act. Instead, focus on the things you can change. If possible, bring this subject with someone superior to both of you. Toxic behavior should never be tolerated at work and you have every right to protect yourself from it. 

 

4.Unaligned Values

Company values are often overlooked when we apply for a job or start working for a new company. However, if your personal values are quite different from the values of the company you work for, you might feel unsatisfied or stressed. For instance, if the company you work for doesn’t appreciate the personal time and family responsibilities of its employees, someone with children might find it quite difficult. 

If you feel that your values are not being respected at work, think about what can be done about it. For instance, you might want to suggest working from home on certain days or having a more flexible schedule. Whatever you do, make sure you find a way to respect your values at work. If that’s not possible, maybe that’s not the right environment for you. 

 

5.Issues with Your Boss

If you have a problem with your boss, it may not be personal. Working with people who have different personalities and mentalities from yours is not easy. Sometimes, staff will have an issue with their leader’s management style, which can impact their results. Other times, the boss might have specific expectations that are challenging for most staff members. 

In cases like this, think about the possibility of finding common ground. Maybe your boss will appreciate it if you suggest they include all key information in an email that’s sent to all employees instead of sharing it casually in meetings. 

If that’s not an option, consider talking to a therapist about your concerns regarding burnout. Besides listening to you, a therapist can help you establish healthy boundaries and understand what type of work environment you need to truly blossom. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Learn Somatic Exercises to Release Trauma

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Learn Somatic Exercises to Release Trauma

 

There are numerous ways to use somatic exercises to release trauma, and learning how to make the most of them can alleviate a lot of pain and stress. Your body and mind can both hold trauma. If you want to recover from a stressful situation more quickly, it will require working on releasing these emotions and sensations.

Somatic therapy is a body-focused approach that may be especially beneficial if you suffer from symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or chronic stress.

It was created by Peter Levine in the late 1970s and was designed as a substitute for existing trauma-focused therapies, which, while beneficial for many, proved ineffective for others.

 

Connection Between Your Trauma, Mind, and Body

Somatic exercise starts the trauma recovery from the bottom up. This method centers on how the body reacts to trauma and how it impacts the brain rather than beginning with discussions of emotions or cognition. Traumatized people frequently lose touch with their bodies. The sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive when someone experiences trauma, and it can be difficult for them to rebalance their nervous system and return to a state of peaceful awareness.

It indicates that your brain adapts as necessary following one or many incidents, repeated stressors, or both. As a defense mechanism, the brain fragments rather than completely processes unpleasant memories. This explains why you experience what are known as flashbacks or triggers. Details such as colors, sounds, scents, or images that resemble a portion of the fragmented memory elicit a response as though the past experience were reliving itself in the present.  

However, trauma can also make it difficult for you to recall traumatic events or significant details of them. These are typical reactions to trying and stressful situations. Your brain makes the necessary adaptations to ensure your survival, but it does not always revert to your pre-existing state of affairs. 

Either an under-reactive (numb and detached) or an over-reactive (on edge or overwhelmed) state may become apparent in you. Common emotional experiences include feeling overwhelmed by strong emotions, struggling to connect with happy feelings, or experiencing more shame, remorse, self-blame, and despair. 

The way you see the environment, other people, and yourself in your thoughts frequently shifts. You might discover that it’s difficult for you to unwind or get enough sleep. This is the result of your mind being unduly ready, or primed, for an upcoming threat. Feeling tense, becoming startled more quickly, and being extremely sensitive to your surroundings are some symptoms of this. 

 

Somatic Exercises for Trauma Release

The exercises are a part of the somatic experience, which emphasizes intentional movement and heightened bodily awareness as a means of releasing trauma-related energy that has become stuck.

Somatic activities support trauma rehabilitation by utilizing the profound relationship between the body and mind. These exercises integrate the cerebral, physical, and emotional selves while calming the nervous system through deliberate movements and attention.

 

1.Grounding

 

One of the most effective somatic healing exercises is grounding. When unpleasant memories or worries surface, they help you stay grounded by re-establishing the connection between your body and mind through the activation of your senses.

These are the common examples:

  • Strolling at a leisurely pace, observing the sensation of each step as your feet make contact with the earth.
  • When warm or cold water flows over your hands, notice how the warmth makes you feel calmer.
  • Hug yourself gently or wrap yourself in a soft blanket or grounding sheet. 
  • To absorb the energy of the earth, use grounding mats or sheets that are connected to your home’s electrical socket.
  • Stroking a pet’s fur and noticing its texture and warmth.
  • Squeezing a stress ball and focusing solely on the force.
  • Letting yourself be soothed by the tune of soothing music. According to research, listening to calming music can reduce stress and heart rate, as well as release endorphins and boost general well-being.

 

2.Visualization

 

Visualization turns your mind into an effective therapeutic instrument. By using constructive images, you can establish communication between your mental and physical responses. Research demonstrates the impact of mental imagery on cognitive processes, for instance, by demonstrating that the mere act of imagining an activity triggers the same brain processes as carrying it out physically.

This technique relieves disturbing pictures by renegotiating experiences at a physiological level and creating a healing and balanced internal space. Studies show, for example, that visualization and guided imagery techniques can successfully lower stress and anxiety by inducing a relaxation response.

Examples of visualizations are: 

  • Imagine the first light of morning illuminating every cell in your body and getting you ready for the day.
  • Imagine yourself in a calm, secure place where all anxiety disappears when things get tough.
  • Before going to bed, visualize the epitome of ease and relaxation to help you fall asleep and wake up feeling refreshed.

 

3.Breathing

 

One of the most effective ways to feel focused and soothe the nervous system is to practice conscious breathing. Breathing mindfully allows you to remain in the present moment rather than losing yourself in worry or emotion.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Imagine tension dissipating with each deep breath out. Breaths promote calmness and serenity.
  • Try box breathing: four counts of inhalation, four counts of holding the breath, and four counts of exhalation.
  • To activate the diaphragm, try belly breathing. Put your hands there and inhale to feel it grow.
  • Check out my article with seven different exercises on somatic breathwork!
  • Breathing deeply has a great effect. At first, build up to 5 to 10 minutes a day. As you learn, be patient with yourself.

 

Conclusion

The foundation of somatic therapy is the idea that stress and trauma are not just psychological issues but also physically visible. Chronic stress and unresolved trauma can cause emotional instability, bodily strain, and a disconnection from one’s own body. By bridging the gap between the mind and the body, somatic therapy helps people let go of pent-up emotional energy and reclaim their sense of safety and control.

Somatic therapy uses the body to process and release trauma in a way that verbal therapy may not be able to fully address. To promote healing, this method strongly emphasizes the recognition of physical sensations, movement, and breathing.

 

Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety and Stress

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Complex Trauma: Definition, Examples, and Treatment

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Complex Trauma: Definition, Examples, and Treatment

 

The deep effects of complex trauma are seen in the neurological system. That is why understanding how complex trauma grows is essential, as it allows us to treat it more effectively. 

Many of us have experienced some type of unpleasant experience that comes with being human, whether it be a breakup or the loss of a loved one. Although these experiences are now in your past, that doesn’t mean their consequences are not part of your present. 

This is why it’s important to learn more about complex trauma and how it impacts the quality of our lives. Learn how to heal from your trauma and inspire other people to take the healing path as well. 

 

What Is Complex Trauma? 

Complex trauma refers to the wide-ranging, long-term impacts of children being exposed to several traumatic incidents, many of which are of an invasive, interpersonal type. These are serious, widespread events, like extreme abuse or profound neglect. They typically start early in childhood and can interfere with a child’s growth in a variety of areas, including the creation of a sense of identity. 

These experiences generally involve a caregiver, which makes it difficult for the child to develop a stable relationship. This main supply of security and stability is essential for many elements of a child’s healthy physical and mental development.

A specific traumatic experience can lead to the development of trauma over the following years. It happens when the body and brain are overloaded to the point where they find it challenging to transition from a state of “fight, flight, or freeze” to one of relaxation. A single incidence can be referred to as trauma, while a sequence of stressful events occurring over several months or years is referred to as complex trauma.

 

Symptoms of Complex Trauma

When talking about the common symptoms and signs of complex trauma, be aware that they are very similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If you or someone you love is uncertain whether or not they have experienced a complex trauma, these are the symptoms you should be looking for: 

  • Flashbacks of the painful incident or series of incidents
  • Lapses in memory
  • Difficulty regulating emotions
  • Aversion and disengagement from the people, things, and surroundings that are connected to the trauma
  • Excessive awareness of potential threats (hypervigilance)
  • Regular unpleasant feelings and thoughts
  • Extreme difficulty establishing and keeping deep connections.
  • Persistent feelings of guilt, failure, and shame

 

Causes of Complex Trauma

The brain’s limbic system is activated when you experience traumatic events. To prepare the body for fight, flight, or freeze, this “fire alarm” shuts down all unnecessary functions, including rest, digestion, and sleep, and fills it with stress chemicals like cortisol. Our parasympathetic nervous system provides inner calm once the threat has passed.

At this time, your cognitive function returns to normal. This allows you to resume your day with just minor side effects—you might feel a little jittery or a little on edge for a while. Yet, this balance doesn’t strictly come back fully for those who deal with complicated trauma.

The limbic system remains active most of the time. It’s a coping strategy used to try to keep oneself safe when facing constant hardship. It’s the feeling of always being on edge or in survival mode. It eventually becomes the body’s and brain’s “new normal.”

When it comes to events and situations that lead to complex trauma, these are some examples:

  • Sexual or physical abuse in childhood
  • Prolonged domestic violence
  • Chronic neglect or abandonment
  • Medical abuse or medical trauma
  • Human trafficking
  • Torture
  • Genocide
  • Slavery

 

How to Heal from Complex Trauma

Everybody’s pain and traumas are distinct from one another, so treatment options might differ from one person to another. The good news is that trauma treatment approaches are developing along with our understanding of complex trauma. Providing a corrective emotional experience for healing is the aim of each treatment method.

These are a few efficient, complicated trauma therapies, and a mental health expert will know which approach could work best for you. 

 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

You examine how your ideas, feelings, and behaviors relate to one another in this type of therapy. You might be able to modify your behavior if you realize how they are related.

 

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

In order to help you reprocess traumatic events and create new beliefs about them, this treatment uses gentle tapping (or tones).

 

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

This method teaches you how to reconcile the disparate facets of your personality into a single, cohesive “self,” allowing you to process traumatic experiences in a way that will no longer be harmful.

 

Somatic (body-based) Therapy

Your body does not always need to be ready for trauma, according to somatic or body-centered therapies. This is because trauma originates in the limbic system of the brain rather than the frontal cortex, which is the section of the brain that communicates during therapy.

 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Those with complex trauma and borderline personality disorder (BPD), which share many symptoms, may find this method helpful. This therapeutic technique teaches radical self-acceptance, mindfulness, and discomfort tolerance.

 

How to Cope with Complex Trauma

The most important thing to do is find a good therapist who can guide you toward healing. However, there are certain things you can implement on your own to make sure you do everything you can to feel better, such as: 

  • Establishing goals for yourself
  • Recognizing and looking for situations, people, and circumstances that are comforting
  • Participating in a support group for trauma survivors
  • Being gentle and compassionate towards yourself (this is a tough one!)
  • Journaling
  • Finding a support group 

 

Wrap Up

You might feel as though complex trauma has taken over your life. Maybe you wonder if this will ever seem like less of a big issue and feel isolated in your experience. There are two things to remember: it will get better if you work on noticing your emotions, and you do not have to be alone in it. 

Spend some time learning about complex trauma because it is one of the best things you can do. There might be a support group or book club for recovery nearby that is worth a shot. Without a doubt, find a therapist who knows the right methods to help you and makes you feel heard and safe. Make sure you’re aware that getting therapy for complex trauma is crucial and that it will eventually help you recover.

 

Discuss your options for therapy with your provider. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Trauma And Dissociation: How Are They Connected?

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Trauma And Dissociation: How Are They Connected?

 

Oftentimes, when you read about trauma and dissociation, you will learn that these two terms are connected to each other. Trauma is a stressful event that has occurred to you, and dissociation is often a consequence of that trauma. 

After a stressful event, detachment and dissociation may increase the risk of major mental health issues, according to research. Numerous events have the potential to induce dissociation. As a result, dissociation can be a brief or persistent reaction to specific events.

Read on to learn more about these terms and what to do if you suspect dissociation due to trauma.

 

What Is Trauma? 

Trauma is the emotional response to a traumatic event like a car accident, crime, abuse, neglect, violence, death, and more. After the traumatic event, shock and denial are common reactions. Unpredictable feelings, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea are examples of longer-term effects.

Events that cause trauma might be singular or recurring. Trauma can also strike someone after they observe someone else go through a painful event. Individuals respond to stressful circumstances in different ways. For instance, even though a natural disaster occurs, people who experience it may react extremely differently.

However, recently, there has been more talk about dissociation. Another common coping mechanism during traumatic circumstances is dissociation. For instance, during a medical emergency, a kidnapping, or a war, some people may disassociate. It can shield us from distress in situations we are unable to physically escape.

 

Dissociation and Its Connection to Trauma

Dissociation episodes lasting a few minutes are not uncommon. Everybody can experience them occasionally. For instance, when we’re extremely exhausted or under a lot of stress, some experience symptoms of derealization. That is, the feeling that one’s surroundings are not real. 

You could feel cut off from both the outside world and yourself if you detach. For instance, you might experience disassociation from your body or an illusionistic perception of your surroundings. Keep in mind that every person experiences dissociation in a unique way.

Dissociation experiences might endure for a few hours or days, or they can last for weeks or months. You could occasionally suffer dissociation when a terrible event is taking place. However, you might have picked up dissociation as a coping mechanism for tense situations, which you might have learned as a child.

It’s important to say here that dissociation typically appears as a protective mechanism for events or situations you can’t resolve. That is why, in the case of severe abuse, many children grow out to be adults who don’t feel anything recalling these memories. Dissociation helped them in that period to survive and not feel so much pain. However, with time, dissociation should be addressed. Otherwise, it might lead to serious issues. 

 

How Trauma Leads to Dissociation

According to experts, trauma can lead to dissociation because of the way our bodies react to danger. Various hypotheses exist to explain how this occurs. When faced with danger, there are a few natural reactions we might have.

You may be familiar with the fight-or-flight reaction. These are the natural reactions to danger, which include either fleeing the area or defending oneself against the threat.

You won’t always be able to accomplish these tasks and you will react differently. In situations where you are unable to flee or are extremely young, your reaction to the threat may be more subdued, like in the following cases:

  • The freeze response is when the body becomes immobilized. You can have immobility or paralysis. Dissociation is most frequently associated with this reaction. Human dissociation is similar to how animals freeze in times of danger.
  • The fawn response is when you attempt to appease or gain the favor of the threat’s origin in order to keep it from hurting you.

 

Common Signs of Dissociation

Dissociation can manifest in a variety of ways. The most notable way is the belief that you or the environment you live in are unreal. Additionally, you can have lapses in memory or have more frequent forgetfulness of certain situations or conversations.

Dissociation sufferers may also experience these symptoms:

  • Feeling like a different person at times
  • Experiencing horrific incident flashbacks
  • Being disconnected from the world around you
  • Feeling cut off from your feelings
  • Changed perception of space and/or time

As previously mentioned, derealization and depersonalization are two extremely severe types of dissociation, and both are quite serious. Depersonalization involves feeling as though you’re not genuine, while derealization involves feeling as though the world around you isn’t real. They frequently result from severe experiences. 

 

Types of Dissociation Disorder

One of the serious consequences of dissociation can lead to different types of dissociation disorder, which are then more difficult to treat. 

 

Dissociative Identity Disorder

Multiple personality disorder was the previous term for dissociative identity disorder, which is characterized by the presence of two or more personality states. Childhood maltreatment, neglect, and other types of traumatic experiences are risk factors.

 

Dissociative Amnesia

Dissociative amnesia is characterized by a loss of memory for specific personal information or event details. Traumatic experiences are a risk factor, especially if there have been several traumatic occurrences or if the trauma was more intense, frequent, or violent.

 

Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder

It is characterized by a feeling of detachment or unreality toward your surroundings or your own body, respectively. Once more, trauma, especially from early life, is a significant risk factor. 

 

Conclusion

Regardless of your trauma, seeing a therapist is always recommended for people who feel like their past or current experiences are interfering with their way of life. If you notice dissociation as well, talking to an expert can help you understand why it happened in the first place and how to heal from your trauma.

In a safe environment, you discuss trauma with your therapist and learn tools and techniques that make you happy. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

10 Signs of Trauma Bonding: How to Recognize It On Time? 

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10 Signs of Trauma Bonding: How to Recognize It On Time? 

 

Are you looking for 10 signs of trauma bonding to better understand how you connect with others? In this article, we’ll take a closer look into trauma bonding and the common signs you should pay attention to in order to avoid harmful consequences. 

It is most typical for trauma ties to form in romantic relationships, and it can be very difficult to leave these kinds of relationships. Processing emotions following emotional or physical abuse can be challenging and learning how to approach this confusing experience could be crucial for your wellbeing. 

 

What Is Trauma Bonding? 

Trauma bonding refers to a relationship that may develop into an abusive one. We develop a deep bond with someone who is hurting us in this circumstance. This can occur in any kind of connection, romantic or not, and it frequently feeds an abusive and affectionate cycle that is hard to escape.

When someone who is or has been abused connects with their abuser, it’s known as trauma bonding. This relationship is founded on the abuse the individual has experienced or is currently experiencing, be it psychological or physical.

The idea that you may get close to someone who treats you badly may surprise you, yet this is one of the key pieces in the abuse cycle. During the reconciliation and quiet period, the abuse cycle may give rise to a delusion of security (more on that in a moment).

Understanding trauma bonding is crucial when assisting those who have been abused. This is due to the fact that having an abusive relationship can be extremely difficult because it often elicits complex and contradictory emotions.

 

Signs of Trauma Bonding

In situations where the abusive individual never shows you any kindness or concern for your well-being, it’s usually easier to leave.

Sometimes, nevertheless, your partner will treat you nicely in an abusive relationship. They may take you out, proclaim you their soulmate, bring you gifts, or just tell you to unwind. With time, these moments are replaced with worry, anxiety, stress, or different types of abuse. Then, this person will use the same tactics they previously used to win you over and gain your trust again.

Although it might seem complicated to notice at first, there are certain signs that are common in such situations.

 

1.Making Excuses for Your Partner’s Behavior

If you’re trying to justify your partner’s poor behavior with excuses, you might be in a trauma-bonding relationship. Making excuses for their bad temper or lack of commitment is a typical reaction of someone who is bonding in this particular way. You might think you’re actually being supportive, yet if their behavior doesn’t improve, justifying their actions will not benefit your relationship.

 

2.Lying about Your Partner

You don’t have to lie to justify your partner’s behavior. You might also feel like you have to protect their past, their errors, or their intentions for the future. Assuming that other people will not react to it in the desired way, you choose to sugarcoat or completely lie about it. This is especially alarming if you don’t lie to protect yourself yet catch yourself doing it various times for your partner.

 

3.You Don’t Feel Comfortable Leaving

You might know deep in your heart that this relationship is not right for you, yet you decide to stay. Maybe your financial situation is making you feel insecure, or you’re ashamed of being the only single person in your group. Whatever the reason, you decide to stay in this relationship and consider it to be a better option for yourself. 

 

4.You Blame Yourself

If your partner comes home angry, you blame yourself for not being able to help them relax. If your partner yells at you, it’s your fault for aggravating them. You don’t see your partner as a person responsible for their own emotions and actions, so you choose to blame yourself. This often occurs when a victim feels hopeless, so they prefer to blame themselves.

 

5.You’re Trapped in a Repetitive Cycle

If you already know the pattern of your partner’s behavior, you’re probably trapped in a repetitive cycle. For instance, they might start a discussion with you only to later buy you flowers and spoil you with their attention. If you haven’t had many positive moments with them, hanging on to these actions that come after they hurt you might seem like a good thing. However, if your partner only acts nice to make up for the damage they have caused you, it’s a vicious cycle that is not good for either one of you. 

 

6.You Believe Their Promises

Even if you’ve heard all of their promises before, you still tend to believe there is a chance for a positive change in your relationship. You’re ignoring all their actions and only focusing on the idea of a happier future. For this promise to be true, you will need to see their behavior change. It’s one thing to promise to do better and another one to actually prove you’re changing for the better every day.

 

7.You Feel Controlled

When you start a relationship, sometimes it feels good to relax and allow your partner to make most of the decisions. With time, that type of dynamic can lead to them being more and more controlling. They might ask you to stop talking to your friends or family, stop working, or start a family without considering how you feel about it. 

 

8.You Feel Alone

One of the common traits of a person who wants to bond with you is isolation. They will want to isolate you from your friends and family. They do so by spending a lot of time with you or by making you feel guilty for leaving them alone. If your partner doesn’t want you to maintain your friendships, it’s probably because they’re afraid that someone might see right through them. 

 

9.Your Family or Friends Are Not On Your Side

If you’re unhappy in your relationship and can’t talk to your friends about it because they are on your partner’s side, something’s wrong. Many controlling people tend to use the confidence of people in their lives as leverage. In other words, if they have more people on their side, you will look like the ‘bad guy’ to everyone, regardless of the circumstances. 

 

10.You Cling to the Illusion and Not the Reality

If what you want for your relationship is better than what it actually is, it could be a sign of trauma bonding. Of course, it’s normal to experience unpleasant situations with your partner. However, if you feel like your relationship is not providing you with what you need, you might start fantasizing about it. You could think about how they might change one day, whether it’s after they change their job or you get married. Thinking that an external factor will change their behavioral problems will only lead to more despair and heartache. 

If any of these are happening, it may be a sign of trauma bonding. If you need help with how to manage this, please see one of our clinicians. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Childhood Trauma in Adults: Your Guide to Healing

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Childhood Trauma in Adults: Your Guide to Healing

 

This topic of childhood trauma in adults is relevant, whether you have seen it on social media or heard from a friend. After all, what we’ve experienced in our childhood has a great impact on who we are as adults. Ignoring the most important phase of our lives can lead to confusion, misunderstandings, anger, and depression. 

Knowing who you were helps you understand who you are today. When talking about traumas, keep in mind that they can affect all areas of our lives if not addressed properly and healed. That is why we’ve created this guide to healing, which addresses childhood trauma and the impact it has on our lives. 

 

What Is Childhood Trauma? 

A frightening, hazardous, violent, or potentially fatal experience that affects a child is referred to as child trauma. Your child may also know someone who gets hurt in this kind of incident, and your child may be affected by what they see or hear about the other person’s injuries. A youngster may get extremely overwhelmed, upset, and/or helpless when these kinds of things occur. Anyone can have these kinds of encounters at any age or time, yet not every incident has a traumatic outcome.

When we experience or see an urgent threat to our safety or the safety of a loved one, it can be a traumatic occurrence, and it is frequently followed by serious harm or injury. These intensely negative feelings can occasionally be felt by people in response to an experience or because they may be powerless to prevent the event from occurring or to shield themselves from it. 

In addition to having a long-term impact on an individual’s day-to-day functioning, trauma-related reactions can also have an impact on a child’s mental, physical, social, emotional, and/or spiritual well-being.

 

Types of Childhood Traumas

Whether you’re aware of it or not, child trauma happens frequently. By the age of sixteen, the majority of adolescents had experienced at least one traumatic event, which is shocking. Events that could be traumatic include:

  • Violence in the community or in schools
  • Abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, or spiritual)
  • Being a victim of or witnessing domestic abuse
  • Terrorist attacks or natural catastrophes
  • Covert emotional incest 
  • Unexpected and/or brutal deaths of family 
  • Military family system 
  • Childhood neglect

 

Everybody’s body has an alarm system that is meant to protect them from harm. When activated, this tool prepares the body to fight, flee, or freeze. When the alarm goes off at any apparent indication of a problem, you might become fearful, irate, agitated, or even withdraw.

 

How to Recognize Trauma

Even though there is no physical danger involved, trauma can nonetheless arise from any circumstance that makes you feel helpless and alone. Traumatic events sometimes involve threats to one’s life or safety. Your subjective emotional experience of an incident determines whether or not it is traumatic, not the actual conditions. You are more likely to experience trauma if you feel terrified and powerless.

Any situation that leaves you feeling powerless and alone can cause trauma, even if there isn’t any physical risk. Sometimes, risks to a person’s life or safety occur during traumatic situations. It is not the real circumstances that decide whether an incident is traumatic. It is your subjective emotional experience of it. If you feel more helpless and afraid, you are more likely to suffer trauma.

These are the most common emotional symptoms that might indicate you are experiencing a traumatic event or have experienced it in the past:

  • Shock
  • Denial
  • Confusion
  • Difficulty focusing
  • Anger or irritability
  • Mood swings
  • Anxiety 
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Shame
  • Self-blame
  • Withdrawing
  • Feeling sad or hopeless
  • Feeling disconnected

 

When it comes to physical symptoms, you might experience the following:

  • Insomnia 
  • Nightmares
  • Fatigue
  • Being startled easily
  • Racing heartbeat
  • Agitation
  • Aches
  • Muscle tension

 

How to Heal from Childhood Trauma

Usually lasting a few days to several months, trauma symptoms progressively go away as you come to terms with the upsetting experience. Even when you’re feeling better, though, you could occasionally experience distressing recollections or feelings, particularly in reaction to triggers like the anniversary of the incident or something else that brings up the trauma.

While emotional trauma is a common reaction to upsetting events, it turns into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) when your nervous system becomes “stuck,” leaving you in a state of psychological shock and unable to process your feelings or make sense of what happened.

Whether or not a traumatic event results in death, you, as a survivor, have to learn to live with the loss of your sense of safety, if only momentarily. Grief is the normal response to this loss. You must experience grief, just like anyone who has lost a loved one. You can overcome your grief, recover from the trauma, and move on with your life by using the advice here. 

When thinking about trauma therapy, it’s critical to understand the kinds of trauma it can help treat, what to anticipate from a trauma-informed therapist, and how to locate one with the necessary training. Furthermore, not every trauma survivor requires therapy, so it’s critical to recognize the warning signs that can point to the need for assistance.

 

Taking Care of Yourself

It’s true that being in good physical health might help you handle the stress of traumatic experiences better. Make sure you get enough rest. Your sleep patterns may be disrupted by stress or fear following a traumatic event. However, getting too little sleep can boost your trauma symptoms. It can also make it more difficult to keep your emotional balance. Aim for seven to nine hours of sleep every night and go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.

Steer clear of drugs and alcohol. Using them can exacerbate the symptoms of your trauma and heighten your feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and despair. Consume a diet rich in variety. Eat small, well-balanced meals, which can help maintain your energy and reduce mood fluctuations. See a therapist if you cannot cope with the extra stress. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Learn About The Signs of High Functioning Anxiety

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Learn About The Signs of High Functioning Anxiety

 

If someone has called you a perfectionist on more than one occasion, it could be that you have one of the signs of high functioning anxiety. Being amongst the best students in the class, cum laude at college, an excellent employee, devoted spouse, and present parent comes with its consequences. From a young age, we are taught to strive for greatness and to do better every time. However, this comes with a price for our mental health and sometimes can be one of the signs of high functioning anxiety symptoms. 

Being successful in a few areas in your life is not the same as being a perfectionist. When trying to be perfect in every environment and situation, there is often an emotional roller coaster of anxiety, fear, and self-consciousness behind that perfect facade. 

What is High Functioning Anxiety?

Although it comes with mental health consequences, you will not find the signs for high functioning anxiety in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – 5th Edition (DSM-5), yet it needs to be treated like generalized anxiety disorder. People with high functioning anxiety should seek help in the form of a therapist or other mental health professional. 

A person with high functioning anxiety will typically be a high achiever, also referred to as the “perfectionist”, however, their striving to be great in all these areas can produce anxiety, fear, depression, loss of self-esteem, etc. Usually, a person with an anxiety disorder will struggle to complete their tasks and achieve their goals, and they might also exhibit fear or worrisome thoughts, which can be followed by a range of physical reactions such as:

  • racing heartbeat
  • headache
  • restlessness and/or agitation
  • panic attacks
  • disrupted concentration
  • muscle tension
  • higher blood pressure
  • gastrointestinal symptoms

A person with signs of high functioning anxiety will probably experience some of these symptoms, yet they will be able to complete their tasks and achieve goals they have set up for themselves. In fact, there are many people with high functioning anxiety that use anxiousness and feat as their drivers of success. For instance, having that fear of failure, they will motivate themselves to work extremely hard to avoid it as much as possible. 

That’s why you might have heard of many successful people who have struggled with this type of anxiety. As motivated professionals, they are often successful and strive for more each time they achieve a goal. However, a success that is based on anxiety is not sustainable and often affects other areas of life, like mental health and relationships. 

High Functioning Anxiety Signs

A person with high functioning anxiety might experience some of the above-mentioned signs, however, they will more probably demonstrate some of these characteristics:

  • Be extremely organized,
  • Strong need to control situations,
  • Be a perfectionist,
  • Biting nails,
  • Restless legs,
  • An intense inner critic with high standards,
  • Uncontrolled anger or irritation when things don’t go as planned,
  • Lack of trust towards others to complete tasks.

When looking at this list, it’s pretty evident that none of these characteristics are bad. On the contrary, they will often be celebrated and used to explain the success of high-achieving people. What’s important to know here, however, is that these signs also have a darker side. For instance, even if they worked hard to get that promotion at work, if someone else gets it, they might feel dysregulated and reach for extraordinary measures to be in control again. 

The darker side of these characteristics is the emotional rollercoaster underneath. People with high functioning anxiety will look perfectly happy and satisfied on the outside, but on the inside, they might overthink too much or have a strong need for constant affirmation. This might result in situations that are dangerous for both mental and physical health. Regardless of its shiny side, high functioning anxiety is still a form of anxiety, and not addressing it with someone who might be of help to you can only make things worse. 

Safety Seeking Behaviors

When dealing with high functioning anxiety, a person might expose certain safety-seeking behaviors which can be counterproductive and dangerous. Some of such behaviors might include: 

  • Avoidance
  • Escape
  • Compulsions
  • Addictions
  • Procrastination

If a person is behaving in any of these ways excessively, these behaviors will interfere with their functioning, so they might end up having issues at work or in their relationships. Because they are wired for constant striving, people with high-functioning anxiety find it difficult to relax and rest, which can lead to a range of physical consequences.

For instance, taking a vacation with their family might be stressful instead of relaxing. Or, they will plan the entire vacation and fill it with numerous activities because it’s almost impossible for them to unplug. 

A person with high functioning anxiety needs to control almost every moment of their life, and often the lives of people around them, and, unfortunately, it doesn’t lead to mental health and wellness. To be mentally well, a person needs to know and practice ways to decrease stress in their life, prioritize their healthy habits, and enjoy their time when relaxing and doing nothing. 

Tips For Combating High Functioning Anxiety

If you or anyone you know have high functioning anxiety, a person should assess their stress levels with screening tools. Also, if you notice a frequency in symptoms or strong signs of anxiety, you should start seeing a therapist who will help you manage your symptoms and find your way to live a happy, fulfilled life. Typically, cognitive behavioral therapy will be recommended as it’s focused on changing behaviors. This makes it a good tool to manage successfully the downside of this type of anxiety. 

With cognitive behavioral therapy, clients will learn coping strategies, lower counterproductive safety-seeking behaviors, while also developing new perspectives to feel good about themselves and reduce unnecessary suffering they often experience. 

One of the best ways to feel better is by practicing mindfulness, a technique centered solely on the breath. Mindfulness focuses on the present moment and reduces the noise that increases anxiety.

In general, any activity where a person takes a step back and starts practicing what makes them feel at peace will be beneficial. They can start reading more, drinking their morning coffee in silence on their balcony, go for long walks alone, listen to classical music, play an instrument, etc. After all, the more peaceful moments a person learns to enjoy and cherish, the less their mind and body will feel stressed. 

 

quick ways to reduce anxiety and stress

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

cognitive behavioral therapy

What Is Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

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What Is Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

 

As a field in cognitive behavioral therapy, trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy addresses certain emotional. And mental health needs of individuals who struggle with destructive effects resulting from early trauma. Also known under its acronym TF-CBT, this form of cognitive-behavioral therapy is focused on unique problems like post-traumatic stress. And mood disorders appearing as a result of abuse, grief, or violence. In most cases, the individual starting a TF-CBT therapy is a child whose parents or caregivers are often involved in the treatment if necessary. 

Who Can Benefit from TF-CBT?

Trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy is recommended for those who have experienced an event or series of events that involve sexual, physical, or mental abuse or have developed post-traumatic symptoms, anxiety, or depression because of facing loss or being exposed to violence. 

In cases with children and adolescents who are showing serious behavioral or suicidal-ideation problems. We often recommend different forms of treatment like dialectical behavioral therapy, which can later lead to a more trauma-focused approach. There are even some researchers who suggest that trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy is the best treatment form for adult war veterans who are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder.

What does TF-CBT Look Like?

Trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy is a short-term and quick intervention lasting anywhere from eight to 25 sessions. Individuals can talk to a therapist in an outpatient mental health clinic, group home, hospital, school, community center, or from home. 

We use these cognitive-behavioral techniques to modify unhelpful or destructive thinking and negative behaviors and reactions. On the other hand, family therapy will look into interactions among family members and family dynamics that contribute to the problem this individual is dealing with. Through family therapy, family members are taught new parenting methods that rely mostly on good stress management and communication skills. 

TF-CBT was first developed by psychiatrist Judith Cohen, along with two psychologists. Esther Deblinger and Anthony Mannarino as an idea to better serve young individuals who had experienced sexual abuse. Over the years, it became a successful therapy form that serves youths and adults who have experienced any type of severe trauma or abuse. 

Experiencing a trauma early in life can result in guilt, anger, self-abuse, feeling powerlessness, acting out. And a range of mental health issues, from anxiety to depression. Trauma often leads to post-traumatic stress disorder which affects both children and adults and it can manifest in numerous ways. Such as emotional numbness, concentration problems. Repeating thoughts after the event has occurred and extreme emotional and physical responses to anything that happens in their environment. And triggers a memory related to the trauma. 

By combining different techniques and theories of a few therapeutic interventions, TB-CBT can address and enhance the symptoms of post-traumatic stress in both young and adult individuals. 

How to Choose Your First Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist?

If this is your first time reaching out to a therapist, you might be overwhelmed with the different options you have. However, if you’ve experienced trauma and feel the consequences. You should consider contacting a licensed mental health professional who has experience in TF-CBT, family therapy, or cognitive behavioral therapy. Besides having these credentials, your chosen therapist could be recommended to you by someone close, such as a colleague or friend. 

Whether you’re looking for yourself or your child, talking about trauma with someone of trust will not only help you feel more comfortable at the beginning of your process and also get the most value the entire time of your or your child’s treatment. After all, in all forms of therapy, trust and how the patient feels about therapists are two key factors that will greatly impact the outcome of the therapy.

Seeking Therapy for Your Child

As a parent, there will be certain steps you will need to take to make sure your kid is content with the idea of therapy. For instance, don’t just take your child to therapy without explaining to them the reasons and what to expect first. Make sure you have their approval and try to even discuss with them the choice of a therapist. Your kid’s input will be extremely valuable as they will more easily open up to a person they have chosen and liked from the first moment. 

Also, explain to them that going to therapy is completely normal and that many kids of their age also talk to a therapist about things that bother them. Tell them they will not pressure into discussing things they don’t want to discuss and that the therapist will respect their space and needs before anything else.

Seeking Therapy for Yourself

If you’re seeking a TF-CBT therapist for yourself, take some time to explore your options. For individuals who have experienced a trauma virtual sessions will not be as helpful as for others. So make sure you find a TF-CBT therapist near you. That said, don’t choose just any because they work nearby. 

Look for their references, study their work experience and education. And find a video or photo of them to get a feeling of the person with who you would share your intimate world. Think about the things you feel comfortable sharing in your first session and keep in mind that going to therapy is a process that takes time. Don’t expect miracles overnight and try to make the most of the process while learning the techniques that will serve you to heal. And un-learn those that are preventing you on your path to healing.   

In Final Words

Trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy serves best those individuals, either young or adults. Who have experienced a certain trauma and are witnessing symptoms from it. As it is with every traumatic event, not addressing it will only prolong the state you find yourself in.

Reach out to a trusted TF-CBT therapist and schedule your first appointment. The sooner you start, the earlier you will start feeling better about yourself and find ways to continue living your life as you want without the trauma affecting your life choices.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Guide to Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

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Guide to Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

 

The detrimental impacts of early trauma are addressed for children, adolescents, and families undergoing trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT). The treatment is especially considerate of the unique issues faced by young people who have experienced physical abuse, violence, grief. Or sexual abuse, in addition to post-traumatic stress disorder and mood disorders. TF-CBT frequently includes non-offending parents or other caregivers in treatment and integrates family therapy concepts as the client is typically a child.

Psychiatrist Judith Cohen and psychologists Esther Deblinger and Anthony Mannarino created the trauma-focused approach to therapy in the 1990s to help children and teenagers who had been sexually abused. Over time, TF-CBT has grown to offer services to young people who have been subjected to a variety of severe traumas or abuses.

 

What Is Trauma?

Trauma is caused by highly upsetting, frightening, or stressful situations that are beyond our control, and thus our nervous system is unable to cope, resulting in the traumatic response cycle. It could be a single incident, a series of related events that occur over time, or complex trauma, which is exposure to various traumatic incidents over time so that the body never has time to regulate.

The majority of us will go through something in our lives that might be categorized as traumatic. However, not everyone will be impacted in the same manner. Any age can experience trauma. Furthermore, it might have an impact on us at any point in time, even years after the incident.

It’s critical to acknowledge that if you have experienced trauma, you made it through as best you could. You’re responding in a typical, expected way. 

Ask for help at any moment you feel necessary, even if you’re not sure if you would characterize your encounter as traumatizing or as experiencing trauma.

 

What Is Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? 

Though its initial focus was on supporting children who had been sexually abused, TF-CBT is now used to treat children and adolescents who have been sexually, physically, or mentally abused once or more, as well as those who have developed post-traumatic symptoms, depression, or anxiety.

Various treatment modalities, such as dialectical behavior therapy, could be a better fit for an initial intervention. If a child or adolescent exhibits severe behavioral issues, substance abuse, or suicidal thoughts, a trauma-sensitive approach could be used as a follow-up.

TF-CBT is a brief intervention that typically consists of 8 to 25 sessions. It can be conducted in an in-home environment, hospital, community center, group home, outpatient mental health clinic, or school. A non-offending caregiver or parent provides treatment. Treatment often starts with the kid and the non-offending caregiver attending separate therapy sessions, then progresses to joint sessions.

Cognitive behavioral strategies are applied to improve negative reactions and behaviors, as well as erroneous or unhelpful thinking. A patient might rearrange their thinking more positively and healthfully by learning to confront intrusive ideas of shame and dread.

Who Can Benefit From Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

TF-CBT is primarily used to treat posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This therapy helps trauma survivors address and resolve their distress to reduce negative behavior patterns and emotional reactions that often result from sexual abuse, physical abuse, or other trauma. 

Childhood traumas like abuse, domestic violence, and neglect frequently result in anxiety, sadness, and PTSD symptoms. TF-CBT may be helpful for those who have been subjected to domestic violence, sexual abuse, or physical abuse. This applies regardless of whether the trauma occurred once or repeatedly. Also, research has demonstrated that TF-CBT is highly beneficial for children who are learning how to deal with the death of a loved one.

 

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist

Although there are further training and courses available, trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is not officially accredited. Finding someone with knowledge in the field and someone you feel comfortable talking to about personal issues is crucial.

You can ask your TF-CBT therapist about the following: 

  • Degree of their exposure to trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Assessment process for patients to monitor their progress 

 

Therapists can receive training in the TF-CBT treatment methodology through a recognized introductory training course or web-based training program. To obtain certification, professionals holding a master’s degree or above must complete a two-day in-person training. Follow up with training or consultation twice a month for six months or once a month for an entire year. And attend nine of the twelve consultation or supervisory sessions offered by a treatment developer or TF-CBT Train the Trainer Program graduate. 

Additionally, a practitioner must finish three distinct TF-CBT cases, at least two involving caregiver engagement. When practitioners fulfill the prerequisites listed above, they must pass a knowledge-based exam. 

 

Conclusion

Any adult who has gone through a traumatic experience, is experiencing symptoms of mental illness. Or is worried about a child’s welfare can get support by consulting a mental health expert.

Treatment with TF-CBT typically entails 8–25 sessions, depending on the case’s complexity. It’s possible that people can use TF-CBT through their health insurance. As an alternative, there are private choices. Some therapists provide sliding scales or affordable options for people who require them.

In short, if something is troubling you, whether you can understand why or not, you should find a trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapist. They will help you release the stress and negative emotions in your mind and body. With time, you will notice how you feel more in control, and you don’t feel the same about that particular event or series of events. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Grief Symptoms, Causes & Types

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Grief Symptoms, Causes & Types

 

If you notice a few grief symptoms, it probably means that you’ve lost someone or something very valuable in your life recently. Grief refers to learning to live with loss. Besides losing someone close to you, losing a house, divorce, and death are all significant life events that also cause grief. 

As much as it’s true that every person experiences sorrow differently, there are certain typical reactions that you may find helpful to identify if you’ve experienced a loss. Patience is crucial when navigating this challenging period, whether you’re grieving over a loved one or providing assistance.

 

What Is Grief?

Regardless of whether a person’s grief comes from the death of a loved one or from receiving a terminal diagnosis, it is a powerful and often overwhelming emotion. You might feel numb and disconnected from daily life as a result of the loss, which will make it challenging for you to carry out your regular tasks.

That said, it’s important to be aware of the fact that grief is completely normal and expected on such occasions. After all, grief is a normal response to loss. Bereavement is a shared and individual experience. The type of loss has an impact on how each person grieves. Common examples of events that cause grief are losing a loved one, ending a significant relationship, losing a job, suffering a theft, or losing mobility due to an accident or an unfortunate event. 

Other grieving examples include the loss of: 

  • A home or community
  • Financial stability
  • A goal
  • Youth
  • Fertility

 

If you’re experiencing grief symptoms, you can expect different stages of mourning. Keep in mind that you shouldn’t and probably won’t be able to impact your grieving process. There are many healthy ways to deal with your grief, such as talking to others about situations that cause considerable emotional pain or the emotions you are experiencing on a daily basis.

A person may mourn for months or even years. In most cases, grief lessens with time as you learn to live without the person or thing you have lost, accept the fact that you are unable to change the past and start making room in your life for healing. 

 

Grief Symptoms

Loss and grief can cause a wide range of symptoms in different people. What they are feeling is neither good nor wrong. However, sometimes we need help to navigate those emotions so we can complete our other responsibilities and eventually end the grieving process once we’re ready. 

When it comes to common grief symptoms, these are mentioned:

  • Void, ache, and/or pain in your stomach
  • Tightness or heaviness in your chest or neck
  • Oversensitivity to sounds
  • Breathing difficulties
  • Numbness
  • Weakness or exhaustion
  • Dry mouth
  • Changes in appetite
  • Sleeping issues 

 

Five Stages of Grief

In her book On Death and Dying, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross outlines the five phases of grieving. Despite its 1969 publication, this is still the most well-recognized source of knowledge about the mourning process. Kubler-Ross conducted interviews with more than 200 terminally ill patients for her book. Through these talks, she was able to pinpoint five typical phases that people go through as they come to terms with their imminent mortality.

These are the five stages we use today to better understand the grieving process: 

  1. Denial: It is difficult for you to accept the loss and you don’t want to admit that this event happened in your life.  
  2. Anger: You might feel that you’re angry at God, at others who failed to save what you’ve lost, at yourself, or even at no one in particular.
  3. Bargaining: To avoid coping with a loss, you can envision coming to an arrangement. You could also feel remorse for certain actions that you believe could have prevented loss.
  4. Depression: Emotional detachment is one of the complicated feelings that are linked to depression.
  5. Acceptance: With time, you will be able to accept the loss and find a way to continue with your daily activities, accepting that the event changed you and that you’re accepting the pain it comes with. 

 

Types of Grief

There are several ways that bereavement can be felt. The various forms of grief illustrate the complexity and variety of grief.

 

Anticipatory Grief

Grieving in anticipation of a loss means starting the grieving process before it happens. For instance, finding out that you or a loved one has a fatal illness may cause you to start mourning. Grief processing in advance might help you be ready to accept the loss when it happens. However, it’s crucial to remember that grief shouldn’t keep you from savoring the limited time you have.

 

Short-term Grief

There are moments when you can get over your grief very fast. This is the situation with a shorter period of grieving. Abbreviated grief may occasionally follow anticipatory grief. Because you’ve already used a lot of emotional energy anticipating the loss, you may grieve it more swiftly. It’s not a sign that you never cared about what you lost if you were just grieving briefly.

 

Delayed Grief

After a loss, you don’t feel the grief-related emotions right away. You might experience them days, weeks, or even months later. Sometimes, your body takes a while to process these feelings because of the shock of the loss. Or perhaps your body can’t grieve until you’ve taken care of the practical issues that come with loss, such as funerals and wills, because you’re too occupied with them.

 

Repressed Grief

Inhibited mourning is the suppression of feelings. Most of us haven’t received any instruction on identifying or handling the complex feelings that might surface throughout the mourning process. Because of this, many people suppress their emotions without realizing it. 

 

Accumulated Grief

When you experience cumulative grief, you process several losses at once. You’re not only grieving the death of a child, for instance. You’re mourning the breakup of a marriage that came after that tragedy. Grieving many losses at once adds unanticipated complexity and difficulty to the process.

 

Collective Grief

Though most of us consider grieving personal, communal sadness often occurs among communities. Significant occurrences like pandemics, natural catastrophes, school shootings, and conflicts cause wide-ranging losses that alter the definition of “normal” living. We mourn the common experiences we have lost as a community while finding it difficult to envision a different future.

 

Final Words

It’s not necessary for you to experience grief on your own. You might rather talk to a therapist in person or online, seek an online support group with members who’ve experienced the same as you, or read books on this topic. Whatever works for you, stick to it. This is your grieving process, and what works for others might not work for you. Just keep in mind that help is always there when you are ready to accept it. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Healing the Wounds Within: The Power of Therapy for Trauma

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Healing the Wounds Within: The Power of Therapy for Trauma

 

Therapy for trauma exists because trauma can leave deep scars on one’s psyche, affecting every aspect of life. Nowadays, therapy is a potent tool for recovering from past trauma and taking back control of one’s life. We will examine the healing power of therapy for trauma.

And provide an overview of the different techniques that can support the healing process.

 

Understanding Trauma

Trauma, whether caused by mistreatment, mishaps, or other upsetting events, frequently leaves a lasting impact on a person’s mental and emotional health. Trauma’s aftereffects can include crippling anxiety, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and even physical symptoms. Healing from trauma takes more than just time; it requires deliberate effort and professional guidance to truly break free.

 

The Power of Therapy

Therapy serves as a safe haven for trauma survivors, providing them with the support and tools needed to navigate the complex landscape of recovery. By addressing the root causes of trauma and its associated symptoms, therapy offers individuals the opportunity to rebuild their lives on a foundation of resilience and emotional well-being.

 

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a widely recognized and effective therapeutic approach for trauma. By exploring the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, CBT empowers individuals to identify and challenge negative beliefs and thought patterns that perpetuate their trauma-related distress. Through this process, individuals can regain control over their emotions and reclaim their lives.

 

  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is a specialized therapy that targets traumatic memories and works to reprocess them, freeing the survivor from their lingering emotional impact. By utilizing bilateral stimulation techniques, such as eye movements or tactile taps, EMDR helps individuals process trauma in a way that reduces its intensity and disrupts its negative hold on their lives.

 

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT is particularly effective for individuals who have experienced trauma and struggle with emotional regulation and interpersonal difficulties. This therapy equips individuals with vital skills to cope with intense emotions, enhance mindfulness, and improve interpersonal relationships. Through DBT, trauma survivors can gradually regain control over their emotional responses and develop more fulfilling connections with others.

 

The Journey to Recovery

Starting therapy for trauma is an act of courage and self-care. Therapy is highly individualized, so finding the right therapist and modality is crucial to healing. Incorporating self-care practices, including exercise, meditation. And creative outlets, into the recovery process can serve as a valuable complement to therapy.

 

Conclusion

Trauma does not have to define a person’s life indefinitely. Therapy has emerged as a beacon of hope for trauma survivors, offering a path towards healing, growth, and liberation from the scars of the past. Whether through CBT, EMDR, DBT, or other therapeutic modalities, individuals can reclaim their lives and embrace a brighter future. Take the first step today and embark on a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and transformation.

Remember, healing is possible.

Make an Appointment to Start Healing

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

When to Seek Help for Anxiety & How to Do It

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When to Seek Help for Anxiety & How to Do It 

 

If you’ve been wondering when to seek help for anxiety, it probably means you’ve been experiencing certain symptoms for a while and are considering reaching out for support. As with any mental health challenge, professional guidance can be crucial in managing daily difficulties and uncertainties.

 

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a complex reaction to perceived or actual threats, manifesting in behavioral, physiological, and cognitive changes. The brain releases adrenaline in response to these threats, triggering the fight-or-flight response. This can occur in social situations or during significant life events. Sometimes, anxiety symptoms can persist long after the initial stressor, leading to physical symptoms like nausea or high blood pressure. Understanding when to seek help for anxiety is crucial in distinguishing between normal worry and an anxiety disorder.

 

Treatment Options

If you’re unsure when to seek help for anxiety, consider whether your symptoms are affecting your daily life. Consulting with a primary care physician is a good first step. They can identify any potential underlying medical conditions contributing to your anxiety. For more severe cases, a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, can provide specialized care. These professionals are skilled in diagnosing anxiety and offering effective treatment options.

 

Psychotherapy

In psychotherapy, a therapist works with you to reduce anxiety symptoms. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective, teaching methods to manage symptoms and gradually face anxiety-inducing situations. Knowing when to seek help for anxiety can guide you in finding a therapist who specializes in CBT or other relevant therapies.

 

Medications

Medications can be useful depending on the type of anxiety disorder and any co-occurring conditions. Discussing the benefits and potential side effects with your doctor will help determine if this is an appropriate option for you.

 

Relaxation Techniques

Stress can exacerbate anxiety symptoms. Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation can help manage stress and anxiety. Recognizing when to seek help for anxiety can involve exploring these techniques to see if they alleviate your symptoms.

 

How to Find Help for Anxiety

Finding the right therapist is a crucial step in managing anxiety. Research potential therapists, consider your therapy goals, and assess your budget and insurance coverage. Personal recommendations can also be valuable, but ensure the therapist’s approach aligns with your specific needs.

By understanding when to seek help for anxiety and exploring the available options, you can take proactive steps toward managing your mental health and improving your quality of life.

 

Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety and Stress

quick ways to reduce anxiety and stress

 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Anxiety Counselor: What Is It & How Do They Help?

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Anxiety Counselor: What Is It & How Do They Help?

 

If you’re struggling with anxiety, a general therapist might not be the best choice for you, and you should consider seeing someone who specializes as an anxiety counselor. After all, having anxiety is very different from having depression or experiencing difficulties in certain areas, so having a therapist who is skilled in treating anxiety can be very helpful.

If you or someone close to you is struggling with anxiety. Make sure you read this article as we share what you can expect from seeing an anxiety counselor and how they can help you feel better. 

 

What Is Anxiety?

It’s normal to feel anxious in life occasionally. On the other hand, people with anxiety disorders frequently experience intense, overwhelming, and persistent concern and panic regarding routine events. Panic attacks, which are abrupt, intense emotions of fear or terror that peak in a matter of minutes, are a common feature of anxiety disorders.

These uncontrollably intense, out-of-proportion-to-the-real-danger emotions cause disruptions to everyday tasks and can last for extended periods. You could steer clear of certain areas or circumstances to stop these emotions. The onset of symptoms can occur in infancy or adolescence and persist throughout maturity.

Generalized anxiety disorder, separation anxiety disorder, particular phobias, and social anxiety disorder (sometimes known as social phobia) are a few types of anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorders can coexist in you. Anxiety can occasionally be the outcome of a disease that requires medical attention.

 

Therapy for Anxiety

You don’t have to live with anxiety and dread, whether you’re experiencing panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, constant worries, or an overwhelming phobia. Therapy is frequently the best course of action for many anxiety disorders, and treatment can be helpful. This is because, in contrast to anxiety medications, anxiety treatment addresses the root cause of the issue as well as its symptoms. 

Finding the root reasons for your anxieties and phobias, learning how to unwind, adopting a more positive outlook on life, and improving your coping and problem-solving abilities are all possible with the support of therapy. Therapy teaches you how to use these techniques and provides you with the means to overcome anxiety.

Since anxiety disorders vary widely, treatment should be customized to your unique symptoms and diagnosis. For example, you will receive a different course of therapy if you have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) than if you are experiencing anxiety attacks. The kind and degree of your anxiety problem will also determine how long therapy takes. Nonetheless, a lot of anxiety treatments are only temporary.

Although there are many other kinds of treatment used to address anxiety, exposure therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) are the most popular methods. Any anxiety treatment can be used on its own or in conjunction with other forms of treatment. Individual or group therapy for those with comparable anxiety disorders might be used for anxiety treatment. However, the objective remains the same: to reduce your anxiety, relax, and face your anxieties.

 

How Can an Anxiety Counselor Help You?

Notwithstanding their licensure or number of clinical hours, not all counselors provide the same services or possess the same experience. If two counselors work exclusively with anxiety. For example, one may provide cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) while the other would solely do exposure treatment. Therefore, it might be helpful to explore treatment modalities, specialties, and strategies before choosing a counselor. 

Finding mental health practitioners who work in these fields after researching different kinds you might be interested in for your specific symptoms could be a useful place to start. You may also get in touch with an anxiety-focused counselor to find out which method they think will work best for your circumstances.

Experience does not always correlate with a field’s licensing and training requirements. A counselor with years of expertise in treating anxiety may be able to help various clients by drawing on what they have observed to be effective in the past. However, because they have recently finished school, newer providers may also be conversant with more sophisticated treatments as they often supervise more seasoned specialists. 

 

I’ve Found My Anxiety Counselor, Now What?

Some mental health providers may limit their client interactions to in-person sessions. On the other hand, many counselors now only or mostly provide text, phone, or video sessions. These virtual formats could be more pleasant for those who suffer from anxiety and might also be more practical for people who reside in remote places or have difficulty finding a suitable provider nearby. 

To help you decide, you may evaluate online and in-person counselors’ availability and testimonials. 

Prepare a short list of questions to ask possible therapists to learn more about them and see if they are a good fit for you. A lot of providers will offer a short email consultation before the first session to answer any questions you may have. Here are some examples of questions you could ask: 

  • Are you working with clients who struggle with anxiety?
  • Do you have experience treating symptoms similar to mine? 
  • What do the people you work with do to control their anxiety?

 

Conclusion

It’s a common misconception that treatment will make you feel better immediately. Sometimes, this might be the case, yet more often, therapy requires time. However, you frequently have worsening symptoms before improving ones. Interestingly, feeling worse is often a sign of getting better, which makes sense when you think about it.

When you decide to go to therapy, it is usually because you have not been able to deal with your anxiety on your own. As you go through therapy, you will learn more about what is making you anxious. The process will not always feel pleasant, yet in the end, it will be helpful.

 

Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety and Stress

quick ways to reduce anxiety and stress

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How Do You Let Go of Resentment?

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How Do You Let Go of Resentment?

 

So, how do you let go of resentment? After all, humans are supposed to feel all emotions, yet there are a few that might cause us more harm than good in the long term. One of them is resentment. Feeling resentful can limit your freedom, so you might be curious to learn how to let go of it.

In the sections that follow, we’ll discuss typical causes of resentment, the long-term effects of holding onto it, and practical strategies for coping with this difficult feeling.

 

What Is Resentment?

An unpleasant emotional response to mistreatment is known as resentment. Resentment can stem from a variety of things, yet in most situations, it stems from a perception that someone else has treated you poorly or harmed you.

It’s common to feel disappointed and frustrated in life. However, these emotions might lead to resentment when they become too strong. When this happens, relationships could get damaged or terminated, because both trust and affection have been severely impacted by it. Recognizing this, it becomes urgent to find ways to cope with resentment.

Anger, disappointment, bitterness, and hard feelings are just a few of the complex emotions that a person harboring resentment may experience. Therefore, acknowledging these emotions and understanding that they are a natural part of the resentment process is important.

 

Signs of Resentment

It might be difficult to spot resentment in others. This is due to the fact that it’s a complex emotion that may simultaneously incorporate a wide range of emotions. In general, someone who is resentful believes they have been wronged. That is why they might:

  • Feel tension whenever they’re with someone they think has mistreated them
  • Refrain from arguing with someone
  • Dwell on the event or exchange of ideas
  • Talk about someone behind their back
  • Refuse to acknowledge their feelings or to discuss the matter at all
  • Withdraw both physically and emotionally from the person they have grudges against

 

When talking about emotions that are connected with resentment, most people who have experienced it also notice they feel other emotions, such as:

  • Anger
  • Bitterness
  • Frustration
  • Hard feelings
  • Hostility
  • Uneasiness

 

The Benefits of Resentment

As we know, an emotion is not good or bad on its own. For every bad thing that happens because of resentment, there are also good things that happen because of it. To let go of something, you need to understand it better and be grateful for the message or release that it was a coincidence.

Therefore, these are just a few ways that short-term resentment is trying to help you:

  • Protect yourself from getting hurt again
  • Make you feel safe from experiencing vulnerability
  • Advocate for your own self-worth and integrity
  • Develop a sense of power and control in your life
  • Avoid difficult situations and conflicts
  • Avoid responsibility

 

Letting Go of Resentment

Consider talking to your doctor if you think that your resentment is getting out of control. They might suggest that you see a psychiatrist or psychologist and talk through your emotions and let go of the resentment this way.

The solution for resentment might differ from person to person, as the causes are not the same in every person. Thus, forgiveness and coming to terms with what happened so that you may go on with your life are crucial steps on the healing journey.

1. Learn What’s Holding You Back

What emotions come up for you when you think about letting go of resentment? It’s common to experience a wide range of emotions when trying to let go of resentment, particularly if the resentment has been carried out for an extended period of time. These feelings include resistance, fear, and rage.

2. Self-Love First

Some people use resentment as a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable or difficult feelings. However, long-term effects may result from this, even if it feels comforting at first. Having compassion for oneself promotes healing and enables you to deal with your suffering in a compassionate and conscious manner.

3. Be Empathetic

Finding out why the thing or someone made you angry enables you to identify possible miscommunications. Additionally, try to look at things from a different angle to see if you might lessen your resentment.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s common to become overwhelmed by everything going on around you. Nevertheless, concentrating on the positive aspects of your life may increase your level of happiness and optimism. Reflecting on the things and people you have gratitude for may also be beneficial.

 

Why You Should Let Go of Resentment

Research has shown that holding onto resentment is not good for your physical and emotional well-being. It also indicates that holding grudges raises blood pressure and heart rate, heart disease, and causes chronic agony.

Worse than that, clinging to bitterness and anger has been connected to anxiety, depression, sexual dysfunction, and shakier interpersonal relationships—romantic, parent-child, and professional.

Stress chemicals like cortisol, epinephrine, and norepinephrine are released into your brain when you spend the whole day dwelling on your pain, anger, and resentment toward a certain individual. This is because your brain actually feels as though it is being attacked. Consequently, your limbic system remains active as a result of all these stress chemicals, which means the thinking and rational parts of your brain are turned off.

 

In Final Words

It’s common to experience resentment, anger, or bitterness in response to not being treated how you want or deserve. However, hanging onto these emotions too long might be detrimental to your physical and emotional well-being.

There are numerous potential causes of this complicated feeling. For instance, feelings of being mistreated, taken advantage of, or not being heard can lead to resentment. It’s commonly described as an outraged sensation. Regrettably, bitterness can give rise to other negative feelings and ideas. If you don’t control resentment, it can eventually ruin relationships.

You can mend broken relationships and get over grudges. Seek counseling if you’re still having problems. These days, you have the choice of working with a typical in-person therapist or one of the numerous providers of online therapy.

 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.