Tag Archive for: women

Clitoral Orgasm

Clitoral Orgasm: Everything You Need To Know About It

/in /by

Clitoral Orgasm: Everything You Need To Know About It

 

When it comes to orgasms, there is always something new to learn, especially with certain types such as a clitoral orgasm, right? After all, every woman has the right to learn how to enjoy herself. Enjoying that clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration on your own is something that will help you understand what you love in sex, what your erogenous zones are, or, simply put – what drives you crazy in bed. 

So, what is actually a clitoral orgasm, and how can you achieve it? If these questions are coming to mind when hearing about this type of orgasm, keep reading as we’re laying down all the facts, and also the tips and tricks on how to make the most of it and enjoy it every time alone or with your sexual partner.

When talking about orgasms, we have to mention our masturbation mentor and explorer of sexual pleasure, Betty Dodson. She is an artist, author, and PhD sexologist who has been guiding women and educating them on women’s sexual pleasure and health for more than four decades.  Here is everything you can learn from Betty’s school of orgasms. 

Orgasm 

We will usually just say the word ‘orgasm’ when talking about women, however, you will need to be more specific from now on. The way these orgasms feel usually depends on a person, yet learning about them will help you understand what to expect.

Before diving into explanations of what orgasms are and what types of them exist, let’s talk about the clitoris first. It is a small button that has many nerve endings peeking out from the vulva’s top, and it extends down the inside of the labia. 

To stimulate it efficiently, you will need to gently rub it with your fingers, palms of your hand, or tongue in a back, forth, or circular motion. For those who want to pleasure themselves and are doing it for the first time, you will need to use a lot of lubricant on your vagina. Once you have done that, start doing clitoral stimulation and discover what you like. Also, if something starts making you feel uncomfortable, stop immediately. 

Vaginal Orgasm

When it comes to heterosexual sex, the vaginal orgasm is the easiest to reach due to the penetration with the penis, however, for women, it’s the most difficult orgasm to reach on their own. Without a penis, a woman might use her fingers or a sex toy to have the same sensation. 

Start by inserting your fingers or the chosen sex toy into your vagina, and start moving them so you feel almost the same as if you were having sex with a partner who has a penis. Try to navigate your fingers or your toy in the direction of your belly button, as that’s where your G-spot is located. Meaning, hitting it with regular pressure might result in an orgasm.

Anal Orgasm

Did you know that anal orgasms are way more common in men due to the prostate? Additionally, rubbing the outside of the anal opening without penetrating can produce this type of orgasm. Remember to use lube when doing anal play, as the anal area naturally doesn’t produce lubricant, the skin around it is prone to tears. Also, wash anything that touches the anus with soap and water before touching another part of the body, to avoid infections.

Clitoral Orgasm

There are many women who struggle with orgasm, even while masturbating. Most of the time, the lack of orgasms in our lives are a result of the emotional or psychological issues where we cannot actually relax. By changing our lifestyle, hydrating appropriately, and practicing pleasure, the orgasms will come easier.

There are plenty of ways one can enjoy clitoral sex games. The best thing about it is that you can orgasm both alone and with your sexual partner. Of course, reaching climax alone will be a lot easier as you know what feels good and what doesn’t. If you were struggling to reward yourself with an orgasm, keep in mind that’s a process that involves many complex issues. 

Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zone orgasms are something you will definitely love, yet it requires a lot of experimentation. What works for you may not work for the next person. Some can easily orgasm from kisses on their neck, while others will love feeling their partner’s teeth on their nipples, or maybe even fingers on the inside of their elbows. 

If you’re not sure which are your erogenous zones, the best way to find out is by using a feather or any other light external object and finding out where you feel the most pleasure. 

During an Orgasm

Have you ever wondered what happens physically in a woman’s body when having an orgasm? Vagina, uterus and anus, and sometimes other body parts, will contract rapidly 3-15 times. You probably already know that women sometimes ejaculate as well, which means they release a liquid out of the urethra. 

We don’t experience sex and orgasm the same way, so exploring is the essential part of any sex game you and your partner decide to play. However, there are four stages of an orgasm that might be useful to know:

  • Excitement: The first moments of being turned on
  • Plateau: The repetitive motion that brings you pleasure
  • Orgasm: The explosion of pleasure
  • Resolution: The refractory period.

Communication Leads To Orgasm

In any type of sexual play that includes two people, communication is crucial. Sharing with your partner what you want, how, where and when is the only way to ensure you feel the most pleasure. Make sure you have these conversations before you two engage in sexual play so you both know what the other person wants.

This doesn’t imply you are not able to talk or change opinions during sex, it’s just to set some ground rules and have a general understanding of how things should go. Your partner cannot read your mind, so make sure you always share with them anything that might affect your sexual life and, of course, your orgasms. 

In Conclusion

There are many ways to experience orgasms. Sometimes, they will be small and almost unnoticeable, while other times, they will be really big and powerful. Sometimes, you will have only one way, and other times you might have several of them in a row. 

Just like our bodies are different, our orgasms are different as well. It’s up to you to explore what brings pleasure to you and communicate it with your partner so you both can enjoy it as much as possible. 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Clitoral Orgasm

Clitoral Orgasm: From A To Z

/in /by

Clitoral Orgasm: From A To Z

 

When talking about women enjoying their sexual life, we somehow lack good talks about orgasms, especially a clitoral orgasm. Unlike men, women experience their orgasms differently and reaching them also varies from one person to another. That’s why it’s vital to have quality discussions about it and allow women to explore different aspects of clitoral orgasm and discover new things about their sexuality. 

There are numerous methods that might help you reach climax with more ease and even improve your arousal and orgasmic experience. After all, as women are climaxing differently, there is still so much mystery wrapped around this topic. 

Types of Orgasms

Women can reach orgasm in more ways than just one. For instance, they can reach it through clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation or through stimulating breasts or any other erogenous zone. 

However, the clitoral orgasm is the type that’s closest to male orgasm. It requires engorgement or erection of the clitoris to lead to an orgasm. In most cases, continuing with sexual activity after the clitoral orgasm will result in discomfort or pain. 

A clitoral orgasm is typically described as more intense and profound than any other type and when combined with stimulation of other erogenous zones, it might even provide additional pleasure. 

Some women reach orgasm when another person is stimulating their genitalia, while others will reach it when their breasts are being stimulated. Another thing that’s important to keep in mind when talking about clitoral orgasms is that you can always play with other orgasm types and come back to it. It’s like riding a bike, you will not forget it!

You might have only one type of orgasm for years. Or you can have different types depending on the sexual activity with your partner. When talking about female orgasm, every person is a unique individual and their orgasms depend on many things. Yet it’s recommendable to try out all of them to see what works best for you.

Understanding Clitoral Orgasms

During an orgasm, there are certain things happening in the human body. A woman will notice that her heart rate is increasing, her breathing is accelerating. And her metabolism will speed up leading to an orgasm.

When a woman is experiencing clitoral orgasm or any other type, she will go through these four phases of sexual pleasure.

  • Excitement 

This phase can be described best as the state of arousal or desire and it involves the female body preparing for sexual activity. In the excitement phase, there will be a boost of certain hormones, the blood will begin to engorge the vagina. And the entire body will feel like it’s blushing. 

  • Plateau

In the second phase of sexual pleasure, the tension will build even more. A woman might not be able to think or do anything that’s not related to sexual stimulation. Her heart rate and blood pressure will continue to increase. 

  • Orgasm

When a woman is reaching orgasm, her vagina, uterus, pelvic floor muscles and occasionally her other muscles will contract in the same rhythm. 

  • Resolution

Right after the clitoral orgasm, the woman will start feeling her body relaxing, and her heart rate, blood pressure. And breathing starting to slow down as well. 

Does Every Woman Orgasm?

If you’re concerned because it’s difficult for you to have an orgasm. Understanding that every fourth woman is reporting the same issue might help not feel alone. In reality, there are numerous reasons why a woman is not having a clitoral or any other orgasm. These reasons can be physiological or physical, or sometimes both. 

However, if a woman wants to enjoy fully her sexual life, she will need to take a look at different types of treatments, therapies, or interventions recommended by a professional. Most of the time, talking to a therapist is a good start to understanding what is preventing you to enjoy your sexuality.

Also, a lot of women are reporting that their desire for sex is diminished as soon as they enter postmenopause. Luckily, there are solutions for each issue behind the lack of orgasm and low libido as long as the woman is open to tackling the issue and working together with the therapist or any other professional who is qualified to help. 

Can You Have Clitoris Orgasm More Often?

For those who are interested to boost their sexual desire and having more intense clitoral orgasms. There are plenty of exercises and practices you can do in the comfort of your home and some even at work. 

Keep in mind that if you’re experiencing difficulties with orgasming for a longer period. It’s recommendable to talk to a therapist who will provide you with methods that will be more efficient for you. 

These are the recommendations for those who are looking to improve their overall orgasm experience. Whether it’s to improve the frequency or quality of your orgasms:

  • Analyze your orgasms: To have more or better orgasms, you will need to understand what happens in your body when you’re seconds from having it. Focus on your breathing, tension in your body, and your heart rate. The more you’re aware of these signs, you can remind your brain that if you start breathing rapidly. It’s time for a clitoral orgasm.
  • Try different things in bed: Don’t be stuck with the same-sex routine. Switch positions, stimulations, and make each of your sex fantasies come true. You might discover a new orgasm trigger which you can then implement when having sex. 
  • Connect with your partner: Regardless of whether you’re in a romantic relationship with a person you’re having sex or not, try to connect with them before, during and after sex. Be aware of their presence, provide them pleasure, enjoy the game. And your pleasure will follow as well and guide you to an orgasm. 
Practice, practice, practice: If you want to have a better orgasm or enjoy it more often, you will need to work a bit harder. This will depend on a person. However, you can try having sex more often or for a longer time to allow yourself to truly dive into your sexuality and learn more about it.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

The perfect vagina

Sex Therapist Reveals How To Get The Perfect Vagina!

/in /by

HOW TO GET THE PERFECT VAGINA!

 

So you want to know more? Lets dive into the perfect vagina and the female anatomy! We will show you female anatomy drawings images.

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of the anatomy of pleasure and getting a perfect vagina! This is what I have studied for the past 12 years!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to get a perfect vagina, how to love your perfect vulva, and how to teach others how to get one too, even if they are intimated! Learn the anatomy, stop comparing to porn, and learn to look! 

My tips will surely enlighten you on how to create a more adventurous and pleasure-focused sex life for you and your partner(s)!

Come Join Us By Clicking Below!

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Oral Sex for Woman

The Art of Oral Sex For Women or Those With Vulvas

/in /by

The Art of Oral Sex For Women or Those With Vulvas

 

Some individals seem concerned when performing oral sex for women or on those with vulvas! 

Can you imagine how successfully brainwashed we are that we believe there is something extra dirty or wrong with them, simply because they are internal. 

Most women who perform oral sex on women report that they love to give it. 

Oral Sex For Woman

Yet, many discuss how difficult it is for those who are raised as girls to be patient in a world of consumerism and productivity. 

In the past ten years of therapy, I have heard thousands of stories where individuals of all socioeconomic backgrounds, race, ethnicities, education levels, socioeconomic status, and ability were telling me that their is something incredibly taboo about providing oral sex on the labia.

I have been blessed with wonderful sexual education thanks to Betty Dodson and my professor, Jim Moorhead. 

 

Educate Yourself! 

If you ever feel that your labia isn’t normal, I suggest looking at a variety of lips. 

If you are concerned about the smell of your genitals, remember that many people enjoy the scent of sexual organs.

Your feelings of disgust or shame around your bits may just be conditioning of society, family, your religion, or your limited exposure to the world of pleasure. 

Go under the feels of “yuck” and see if there is any part of you that can show up and receive the compliment or the gift of pleasure. 

 

Discuss Which One of Your 6 Need Is Being Met! 

Oral Sex For Woman

Examples: 

::ask your sexual partner PRIOR to giving or receiving oral sex, so that your mind can relax:: 

Can you tell me  like how it looks and how it smells. 

Validation from a partner is probably more helpful than anything you can read in my blog! 

If both of you are concerned with genital odors, try to incorporate a shower as part of the foreplay and aftercare (and, if there is a “significant odor,” and you have the privilege of affording healthcare, go to a trusted ob-gyn or a local Planned Parenthood to get checked for bacterial vaginosis).

While going down on your partner or giving oral sex, make sure you ask your partner what feels good. 

  • Get an idea of the pressure that works, the spot that is most sensitive, and what does not feel good. 
  • Make sure as the giver and the receiver, that your body is in a comfortable position. 
  • If you need to move your partner, then do so. 
  • If you have long hair, tie it out of your face. 
  • Kneel along the side of the bed if you have to. You CAN find ways to incorporate this for all body shapes and abilities. 

 

Check in Again With Your Partner Before Going In and Touching Them.

Reassure them of what mental state you are in, what your desires are, what your needs are. 

Discuss in feelings, needs, and utilizing parts cards if possible! 

Note to everyone involved, as you can receive oral sex from multiple partners at one time. 

Be sure that you are not focusing on what you look like and focus on your pleasure receiving, or you are focused on your partner’s experience while giving. 

Give positive feedback to your partner about how you are enjoying this experience. 

Verbally, with sounds, with smiles! Ask if they like dirty talk, talk about fantasies, if they want a different type of sensual touch instead of just the oral touch of mouth to vulva. 

Communicate and experiment with an open mind. The brain is the most important organ in sexual pleasure!

If You Are Nervous As The Receiver, Here Are Some Mantras To Practice: 

  •   I let myself to experience pleasure;
  •   I allow my sexual selves to appear;
  •   I am worthy of sexual satisfaction and connection;
  •   I am opening my life to positive sexual experiences;
  •   I feel seen in my expression of sexuality;
  •   The more I experience my own understanding of my inner parts, the more I can communicate and direct my language to the part my partner is requesting of me. 

Receiving oral sex is about the sensual art of receiving, accepting, creating, exploring, releasing, and intuitiveness. 

 

How and When To Talk To Your Partner About Changing Their Oral Sex Technique 

female anatomy

There is no “magic way” to be comfortable with the words coming out of your mouth so that your partner may hear of judge you based on what you said about sexuality. 

What I can say is that the more your practice and acknowledge that it may be uncomfortable or difficult to talk about, the more confident you can get in this type of intimate compassionate communication and conversation style. 

One partner may be more willing to engage in conversations around sex than the other, which is actually normal! 

 

Quick Tips To Address In The Moment:

  • If your partner is not hitting the right spot on your clit or is missing your clit entirely, you can say things like, “Up a little” or “To the right a little.”
  • You can adjust your body so you are in the right position. Partners, please note that if a woman adjusts her body while you are touching her, do not move your hand or mouth. Ask if she is squirming with pleasure or if she wants to move. 
  • When your partner does hit the right spot, provide positive reinforcement, like, “YES!” or “It feels so good. Stay right there,” or “YAY! This is amazing. Keep doing that.”

 

Communicating during a Sexual Encounter:

Old Way: “Stop. You always try to have sex with me too quickly.”

New Way: “It would be so hot if you touched me gently right now. I like when you tease me a little bit more before you touch my clit.”

 

Communicating outside of a Sexual  Encounter:

Old Way:  “It hurts when you have sex with me.”

New Way: “Our sex is great, and sometimes it hurts. Can we add more foreplay and lubricant before we have sex? I think if we focused on 20 minutes of body pleasure prior to penetrative sex, I could physically be engaged more. Is that of interest to you?”

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

My Naked Female Weekend with Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross

/in /by

The following may contain a story and images of intimacy and pleasure in the body (including what is viewed by LCAT as tasteful). You have a choice to continue reading, as we value our community and your right to agree to read this information. Our core beliefs are confidentiality, integrity, respect of all beings, and consent on all levels.

My Naked Female Weekend with Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross – Pleasure is Healing

 

On July 14, 2013, I met Betty Dodson for the first time. She hugged me, whispered “you’re a very naughty girl…I like you” to me, and then slapped my ass. Life was good. 

Have you ever heard of Betty Dodson? If not, have you ever heard of a vibrator? 

Betty Dodson

Carlin Ross, Amanda Pasciucco and Betty Dodson

If yes, consider saying “thank you” to Betty Dodson!

Betty put the vibrator on the “map” for women’s sexual pleasure, and the movement that she began decades ago has changed sexuality for the better! 

Betty Dodson is not only a sexologist and the author of Sex For One (it sold over a million copies) and Orgasms for Two, she is a phenomenal artist. 

Soon, she will have some of her work in an exhibition at The Museum of Sex in New York City. 

If you would like to see some of Betty’s illustrations, you can find them here. 

A few months ago, I realized that Betty is 90 years old, and I had yet to attend one of her events. 

I wanted to see Betty and her “right-hand woman,” Carlin Ross, in action! 

Immersing myself in Betty and Carlin’s energy for the first time in six years didn’t feel scary or intimidating to me. It almost felt like “coming home” while attending Dodson and Ross’ BodySex Weekend.

 

What Is BodySex? 

The best description I can come up with for BodySex is a sacred, two-day weekend workshop where women overcome their body shame and/or past traumas by practicing sensual pleasure. 

Carlin says that “Betty developed these workshops using the consciousness raising model of second wave feminism where women got together and shared their experience first person.” 

 

How does it work? 

A group of more than 10 women from all over the WORLD come to learn from Betty and Carlin about their bodies, their orgasms, all while feeling the strong bond of sisterhood. 

This event is for women only.

The first thing you do when you walk into the BodySex event is take off all of your clothing. 

I was greeted by the lovely Ms. Ross, who I had met six years ago, and who still remembered me, by name. I smiled and felt honored, because Carlin and Betty are such heroes to me. 

Women who spend their days teaching other women about pleasure has enabled me to live my life in exactly the way I want. Since I was 19, I was able to choose the profession I chose, because of the Sexual Revolution that Betty Dodson began.

We sat in a circle for two days (for a total of 10 hours), without any clothing, without any men, and we were led through the following practices by two Fearless Women:

  • Conversation on Cultural Body Messages
  • Vulva Show and Tell for all Participants
  • Erotic Recess Focused on Pleasure
  • Group Massage Focused on Non-Sexual Touch

I believe that all women can gain something from this experience. 

Sitting in the nude isn’t comfortable for everyone when they begin. But, by the end of Day 2, after sharing your genitals and your pleasure with the other women, I am uncertain how anyone leaves without making LIFELONG friends! 

 

Change occurs when you do something new!

 

Take Away Messages

1. If you are a woman struggling to orgasm, go to BodySex. It will change your life.

  • By spending time with other women, especially other vulnerable, Bad-Ass women, your view of female bodies, orgasm, competition, and internal narratives begin to change. 
  • The idea that multiple women went in disliking their vulvas, and most did not know how to appreciate them (Day 1) and then left (Day 2) feeling pleasure and connection is MIRACULOUS! 
  • In 10 hours, Betty and Carlin undo YEARS of sexual shame and cultural fear that women’s bodies are “not enough.” 

2. Women are GORGEOUS! Especially, women in their pleasure!  

  • The entire woman, including her VULVA, is beautiful. 
  • If you had to match a face to a vulva, you probably could NOT do it! 
  • One of my favorite quotes from the weekend is that “P–sy is fresh, no matter what age.” 
  • When you aren’t looking at sex from the lens of pornography, there is much more to enjoy and experience. 

3. Many successful women are having children after the age of 40. 

  • For those of you who struggle with choosing between children and your career, I just want to share that I met multiple women this weekend who had babies after age 40. 
  • Until this weekend, I had never been in a room where women were willing to talk about the connection between their bodies, fertility and motherhood. 

I witnessed multiple women orgasm for the first time in their lives, and it was SO beautiful to share that with them. 

I believe ALL individuals can be healed from learning the beauty of their own pleasure. Just like Betty and Carlin’s tagline and mission “Better orgasms. Better world.”

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.