Darcey and Georgi

Darcey and Georgi in The Trigger Tango Therapy Episode

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Darcey and Georgi in The Trigger Tango Therapy Episode

 

I had the pleasure of helping Darcey and Georgi on a January 17th episode of Darcey & Stacey on TLC and noticed how they were stuck in the trigger tango. 

The trigger tango is common in intimate communication, especially for those we are most comfortable with. 

When I have the thought that my partner doesn’t understand me. Instead of taking a pause to try to find understanding and compassion, we often raise our voices. When one person raises their voice, then the other either avoids, freezes or fights. Which could mean raising their voice as well. This is how we begin the trigger tango. 

Instead of being in the moment together using empathetic or reflective listening many individuals just begin to have harsh and critical exchanges with one another. 

Although we speak the same language, we have different ways that we conceive the specific words and tone someone uses. 

Since we have mirror neurons, when one person gets activated using a tone, the other person will have their nerves get activated too. 

Creating new communication strategies instead of getting into a trigger tango with someone you love is important for successful relationships. 

Darcey and Georgi

 

How to Stop the Trigger Tango

Sometimes just pausing your partner and saying “I feel nervous – as if we are just in a trigger tango with one another right now.” 

 

Call it Out

Discussing that you notice your partner and then referring to embodiment of your limbic system eliminates the trigger tango effect. 

The practice of noticing and naming the issue as it’s happening – by saying “trigger tango” – actually can help couples to remember that they need to slow and calm down. 

The importance of this is to eliminate the concept that we truly or completely know one another. And instead exhibit positive intention, gentle noticing, and work at breaking current negative conversation and communication patterns.

 

Take a Deep Breath

Now that we are adults, we often get triggered by things that remind us of childhood. A time where we were actually powerless. As an adult, there are many times I remind myself, my team. And my clients to take a deep breath and consider what you feel in your body. This is a quick and effective grounding technique. 

Instead of taking offense to someone else’s tone and getting caught up in the trigger tango. Taking a pause and breathing helps us to get in touch with ourselves in this present moment. 

Embodied connecting is really important, and when we are with another. It’s helpful to attune with each other instead of escalating. When we are embodied, we can observe our emotions and our partner’s emotions at a distance instead of acting out of our emotional state. 

We forget that unless there is physical force, we are not actually in danger, it just feels emotionally uncomfortable. When we feel this way, we can make a request, state a compassionate boundary, or invite collaborative conversation. 

Most people did not have communications training and do not know how to begin these conversations. You can start by learning communication skills or going to a couples therapist who is skilled in the chain of the Trigger Tango or within the reactivity cycle. 

Additionally, you may want to check out my therapy video on couples communications. 

Seeing a couples therapist to guide you on how to slow down, provide tactics and structure can be very helpful. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Darcey and Stacey

Darcey and Stacey – Couples Therapy on a Reality Show

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Darcey and Stacey – Couples Therapy on a Reality Show

 

Let’s admit it, so many of us indulge in TV entertainment, whether it’s binge-watching on Netflix or following reality shows like Darcey and Stacey. I had the pleasure to work with with Darcey and Georgi in a couples therapy session. Their objectives were to work out some of their key issues, such as communication and trust. This session was filmed by the production crew and aired on TLC on Monday, January 17, 2022. I am happy to share share this exciting experience with you. 

Watch a preview of season 3, episode 2 “Georgi and Darcey See a Therapist” | Darcey & Stacey:

 

 

Watch the entire episode of Darcey and Stacey (you may have to sign up for a Discovery account).

Reality Shows

In the last decade, reality shows have dominated the TV industry. From Keeping Up With The Kardashians and American Idol to Jersey Shore and The Bachelorette, these fake reality shows had dozens of millions of viewers watching each episode. With social media integrating into our daily lives, watching our favorite programs also includes following reality stars on Instagram and Twitter – curiously awaiting their every move.

The underlying factor that this type of program has is the involvement we feel when we are consuming reality shows. We start to feel like we’re a part of the show and the lives of people in it. So much so, that we are curious to see what will happen next. 

Watching Darcey and Stacey may make you feel the highs and lows of balancing parenting and the romantic experiences in their lives. It’s no surprise that reality shows have an impact on our emotions as well. 

 

Darcey and Stacey – Behind the Scenes 

My experience with Darcey and Georgi coming to see me as a therapist was great. I was approached by the producer about a month prior to conducting a filmed couples therapy session with Darcey and Georgi, because Darcey’s former boyfriends often said that she should see a therapist.

 

They found information about me and my practice, Life Coaching and Therapy online and liked what they read on my website and in client reviews about my methods and results. After speaking to them, I agreed to this session, because I am often interested in finding ways for couples that are struggling to come together and determine if their relationship is worth salvaging.

 

Darcey and Georgi and the entire crew were incredibly professional, mindful and curious. They were respectful of my office and health requirements. The crew was actually in my office a whole day.

 

Fake Reality Shows

My episode with Darcey and Georgi was actually a four-hour long session. It was edited down to about 10 minutes on screen. I sat with Darcey and Georgi and listened to the intensity of the relationship and the issues. I provided insight and useful techniques to help them meet their relationship and communication objectives. This is same way I work in my off-screen couple sessions. 

 

Fake Reality Shows

 

During the session the couple had a lot of conflict, but it was edited out of the episode.

 

What you see in reality shows is only part of the story. Reality show conflicts and arguments don’t happen or resolve as quickly in real life. Unfortunately conflict arises in all relationships, which take work to repair. It always takes time, effort, and repetition to build trust after conflicts.

 

Even the most dramatic moments of a reality show are edited and produced in a way that creates a certain reaction in the viewer . This is done to hook you into watching the show every week. There really was actual drama in the session. It just took longer to build the intensity than what was shown in the episode. 

So as a viewer, don’t think one couples therapy session can solve everything, because it cannot! Do not compare your life to the cast’s lives on reality shows.

 

Focus on building a strong relationship with your partner and prioritize spending quality time with them whenever you can. (This might mean watching fewer shows.)

 

Having quality relationships with people we care about is the only road to happiness and a fulfilled life.

 

If you feel your relationship could use communication help you may want to check out my therapy video on couples communication strategies and tactics.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Dirty Kinky Text Messages

Sending Dirty Kinky Text Messages [No 🍆 Pics]

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Sending Dirty Kinky Text Messages [No 🍆 Pics]

 

Time to learn to send dirty kinky text message to those around you that have consented!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

 

 

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

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Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

tantric sexology near me

Tantric Sexology Near Me: Learn All About It

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Tantric Sexology Near Me: Learn All About It

 

If you’re interested in connecting sexually with your partner, you might look online for terms such as ‘tantric sexology near me’ or ‘best tantric sex’ to understand better what it’s all about. With tantric sex, you are able to dive deeper into a sexual connection that provides you with access to more profound levels of feelings, sensations, and energy, and most importantly, a better understanding of who you are.

In tantra, we celebrate the sacredness of our bodies and sexual desires, while at the same time, we’re buying mindfully aware of the shared pleasure. Learning tantric sexology can help in releasing shame, trauma, and any obstacles you might have around sex by unleashing the very transformative power of erotic energy and the most incredible orgasms you’ve ever had. 

 

Tantric Sex

This sexual practice is one aspect of the ancient spiritual philosophy known as tantra. Its purpose is to reveal an ecstatic union with life that goes beyond our sense of self. Tantric sex is often looked at as one doorway to transcendent experience which once learned, can never be forgotten. Tantric intimacy is something that awakens the fire in your sexual energy, passion, creativity, and personal desires aligned with your heart and spirit. 

With tantric sex, your lovemaking will feel healing, empowering, transcendent, and beyond. You will also feel connected to your partner, and you will notice how your relationship is blossoming, along with your sexual life. During lovemaking, you both will feel as if the time is slowing down and your intuition is expanding as you’re both diving into almost psychedelic realms of the erotic world. 

 

During Tantric Sex

Once your start exploring tantric sex, you will notice it actually involves a variety of erotic activities. Some of them will not involve penetration or any physical stimulation that we typically connect with sex, yet it will provide you with such pleasure that you will want to repeat it as soon as possible. 

A typical tantra encounter will involve many subtle sexual realms, from gentle caresses to being focused on the way that energy flows between two bodies. At times, you will even barely move, as you will be focused on the meditative aspect of the tantra, and this stillness combined with your partner’s energy will lead you to precious romantic and erotic moments. Once you start practicing tantric sex, try to be as relaxed as you can be and truly take things slowly. Play with the rhythm of your sexual games, speed it up and then slow it down to really make the most of this erotic energy that’s exchanged between you two.  

 

Sexual Energy vs Tantric Energy

The difference between regular sex and tantric one is in its awareness. Tantric sex is so much than sex and it emphasizes so much more than bodies. You will be more aware of your and your partner’s breath, how you both move, how it feels when you touch each other. And how you’re both filling up the room with your combined erotic energy. Not to say that tantric sex cannot be raw and intense. Yet it’s always aiming to connect two souls through intercourse instead of just aiming for pleasure.

As we mentioned awareness quite a few times, it’s evident that breathwork is crucial for tantric sex. You will use your breath and awareness, and learn to move your sexual energy through your entire body. This will also help you feel the sexual pleasure throughout the body as you give into the cosmic play with your sexual partner. 

 

Neotantra Or Classical Tantra?

The earliest evidence of someone mentioning tantra dates back to the seventh century. In Hindu books, many texts were written about it. However, there is a bit of difference in how the eastern world and western world define it. Typically, when people from western countries use the word ‘tantra’, they are actually referring to ‘neotantra’.

When talking about classical tantra, there are numerous complex and quite rigorous spiritual paths that aim to achieve enlightenment. Often, these paths will involve serious study and dedication, many meditative practices, etc. Focusing on sexual energy is only a small part of it and usually is reserved for advanced practitioners only. 

On the other hand, neotantra has been developing over the past two centuries and its goal is to enhance intimacy and connection in people. A more profound connection to our bodies and emotions, while also opening ourselves to orgasmic ecstasy. What you will usually find in the media is a set of practices from modern tantric sex practitioners. These practices are not a part of ancient wisdom, however, their relevance and meaning are unquestionable. 

 

Tantric Sex Benefits

We already mentioned many benefits from having tantric sex with your partner. Yet there are so many of them that it doesn’t hurt to mention a few more. As you continue practicing tantric sex, you will notice how you’re receiving more of what you want in sex. While also releasing sexual blocks and shame you have from before. Indeed, tantric sex is therapeutic as it helps you even heal from sexual trauma and rediscover intimacy with your partner.

Also, you will notice how your sexual energy is slowly increasing as you’re allowing it to flow freely throughout your body. Overall, you can expect to experience an entirely new level of heart connection, a deeper sense of intimacy. And purer love for each other. There are plenty of ways you can start exploring tantric sex. You can start reading about it on your own, and once you feel confident, share it with your partner.

Or, you can start discovering the world of tantric sex together. Find what you wish to try out first, and start with smaller steps. Sit opposite to one another and focus on your breath. Look into each other eyes and pay attention to what happens in your body. This can be a great introduction for those who are choosing to have tantric sex for the first time as it’s gradually preparing you both for a very unique erotic experience. 

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Female Anal Orgasm

Female Anal Orgasm: Learn All About It Here

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Female Anal Orgasm: Learn All About It Here

 

As there is still not much talk around female anal orgasm, many women are curious to learn more about it and understand what to expect when having anal sex for the first time. Activities that involve anal sex are touching, fingering, licking, penetrating, and anything else that builds that sexual pleasure you feel before, during, and after anal sex. 

The great thing about anal sex is that it can be enjoyable for both men and women. Yet, when talking about female anal orgasms, there are some tricks that might help you make this experience more pleasurable for you and your sex partner. 

What Do You Need To Know About Anal Orgasm? 

When you’re having an anal orgasm, it will feel like very intense, profound waves of pleasure are beginning inside of your body and radiate through it. For those who are trying anal sex, it might feel a bit uncomfortable at first because you will need time to adjust to penetration back there. It shouldn’t cause you pain, however, it’s vital that you feel relaxed and comfortable with the sexual activity to avoid pain or discomfort. 

Unlike vaginal sex, women will need to prepare for anal sex to have a better experience for both partners. Feeling relaxed and aroused before anal sex is crucial for both avoiding the pain and enjoying the game a bit more.

How To Prepare For Anal Sex? 

There are many ways a woman can prepare for anal sex, especially if it’s her first time. Try to indulge in something that is erotic for you. If you feel more turned on, it will become easier for you to enjoy the butt play. You can watch porn or think about your fantasies you always come back to to make you feel more turned on. 

If you need to relax your body, you should consider taking a hot bath as it can help you lose your muscles and enhance blood flow to all parts. During your bath, you can give the erogenous zones a bit of rub-a-dub and play with your anus while you are washing it up. 

Another thing that might help you prepare for the anal game is practicing with a butt plug. You can do it alone or with your sex partner, it’s up to you. Using sex toys like this can also give you a pretty good idea of how anal sex will feel like for you. So, make sure you are taking it slow and enjoying playing around with your butt plug. You can have your partner use it to tease your butt before actually inserting it. 

When you feel ready for your anal orgasm, make sure you communicate it with your partner and, more importantly, prepare some lube. When it comes to anal, you will notice how much difference it makes to have anal sex with and without lube. Not to mention that it’s vital for anal sex safety. 

Exploring The Anal Game 

Those who are without anal sex experience tend to be very surprised when they start discovering all the diversity in anal sex. There are many moves you will like to try out once you are a member of the A-game. 

One of the most recommended ways to reach an even better anal orgasm is to have your partner licking your erogenous zones with his tongue just before the penetration. He can use the tip of his tongue to tease your cheeks before sex and then tease you around your anus. This will produce more intense ways than you could imagine.

Another way to enhance the butt hame is with your and/or your partner’s fingers. Put the lube on the finger, insert it into the anus and curl your or your partner’s finger upward at a pace you feel comfortable with. If wanted, you can even try inserting a second finger.

Also, you can rub the pad of the finger in a circular motion near the A-spot or P-spot. Circle slowly around that area and pick up the pace when you feel ready. You can play with the size of the circles, and also with the speed to discover what gets you faster to an anal orgasm. 

Adding More Stimulations

If there is a lot of clitoral or vaginal stimulation, you will notice the sexual pleasure growing inside you, so don’t focus only on the anal game. Avoid limiting yourself, you might discover you enjoy when your partner is licking and kissing your nipples and that helps you reach a better anal orgasm.

Or, you might notice that you enjoy when your partner is stimulating your clitoris by using hands, fingers or sex toys. The entire sexual experience is very individual for each person so what works for you, might not work for your friend. 

That’s why it’s recommended to practice and really dedicate your time to explore more the anal game and to understand what you like and don’t like. 

Why You Need A Lube?

As already mentioned, lube is quite important in anal play. Without the lube, penetrating a finger, toy, or penis might be dangerous. With a rough penetration, the skin can tear up and you also increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections. 

You can use a lube that is based on water or silicone as these two options work well with condoms and any sex toy you want to use. Many might assume that anal sex is much safer than vaginal sex because it cannot lead to pregnancy, however, STIs are possible so it’s important to practice safe anal sex. 

Wrap Up

The anal game can be a lot of fun and you will probably experience some of the most intense orgasms in your life, yet don’t forget to prepare your body and be safe at all times. If it’s your first time, make sure you take it slow and do it with someone you trust as it will help you to relax. 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

Get your copy of Bliss: Proven Solutions for Improving the Female O

Get Bliss: Proven Methods for Improving Female O

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Increase Sexual Tension With Your Partner

How To Increase Sexual Tension With Your Partner

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How To Increase Sexual Tension With Your Partner

 

Learn to increase sexual tension with your partner in this video.

Learn how to try to give touch and sexual tension with your partner to give them what they want in the bedroom. Pleasure is healing.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Intense Female Orgasm

Intense Female Orgasm: All The Things You Should Know About It

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Intense Female Orgasm: All The Things You Should Know About It

 

As it is completely individual, we rarely talk about all things both women and men should know about intense female orgasm. From different types of orgasms a woman can have to what helps a woman feel sexual pleasure before, during and after sex, all of these details are helping us understand the nature of female sexuality and bring a better overall experience to women. 

How a intense female orgasm differs from a male orgasm? Do women truly distinctively think about sex from men? We’ve gathered all relevant information regarding female orgasms to solve the mystery around it once and for all. 

Types of Intense Female Orgasm

Yes, we might say female orgasm, however, there are different types of orgasms a woman can experience during sex with their partner. Clitoral, vaginal, cervical, or the one that results from stimulating erogenous zones are the orgasm types most women have experienced in their lives. Some of them will also experience different orgasms, depending on the sexual activity they have with their sexual partner, while others will mostly experience only one orgasm type. 

Also, there is a percentage of women who are unable to orgasm due to various reasons. All of these reasons can be grouped into two categories – emotional and psychological reasons. It’s recommendable for them to talk to a therapist or any other professional that will help them work out these issues and allow them to start enjoying their orgasms. 

Erogenous Zones

As we’ve mentioned above, you can orgasm from someone touching, licking, and kissing your erogenous zones – neck, nipples, feet, behind the knee, earlobe, etc. For an area to become an erogenous zone will depend on someone stimulating that area arouses you. 

It might surprise you that many women can orgasm from nipple stimulation. If you’re interested in nipple orgasm, put your hands on your breasts, and start caressing and squeezing them, while touching other parts of your body as well. Then, you will slowly start teasing your areola with your fingertips until you start feeling excited, and continue with rubbing and pinching your nipples until your reach the climax. 

If you’re not sure what your erogenous zones are, you can easily explore your body and find out. Lay naked on your bed, grab a feather, and slowly start touching each part of your body until you figure out where you feel something. It might be that you feel a tickle or any other sensation in your body that will later bring you incredible sexual pleasure and some of the most amazing orgasms you’ve ever had. 

G-Spot

Of course, we can not take about erogenous zones without mentioning the most important area of your body – the G-spot. This is an area along the front wall of the vagina. When stimulated, it brings incredible orgasms for some women. The best way to reach the G-spot is with the fingers or a curved vibrator specifically made for the G-spot.

To reach it easily, make sure you’re in a squatting position. Insert the vibrator or fingers up toward the belly button and start moving them until you discover which pace works best for you. If you feel like you have to pee, that’s a completely normal sensation. Just keep going until the full-body release!

All the Feels of an Orgasm

Every orgasm is different, some will be more intense, while others will be completely incomparable to everything you’ve ever felt before. These are some of the things you can expect to happen in your body during an orgasm: 

  • The vagina and uterus will contract rapidly. 
  • You will notice your muscles contracting in other body parts, such as the abdomen or feet. 
  • Your breathing and heart rate will speed up. 
  • Your blood pressure will increase.
  • You might feel a relief of sexual tension or ejaculate during your orgasm. 

Male vs Female Orgasm

You might assume that male and female orgasm differ significantly, yet it’s not the case. Both male and female orgasm will send increased blood flow to the male or female genitals, accelerate breathing and heart rate, while other muscles in your body will contract as well. 

The difference between them can be seen in two aspects – duration and recovery. Female orgasms last longer than male orgasms, ranging from 13 to 50 seconds, whereas male orgasms range from 10 to 30 seconds. Another thing to keep in mind is that female orgasms can lead to repetition if stimulated again, also known as multiple orgasms. Also, male orgasm will involve ejaculation, while female orgasm doesn’t need to involve ejaculation every time. 

How to Orgasm More

For those who either haven’t experienced an orgasm before or wish to improve their experience, there is a way to practice having better and more frequent orgasms. The most important thing is to eliminate the pressure if you feel any. You should feel relaxed and be in the exploratory mode to climax. 

Take time to explore your body and see what feels good and what doesn’t. So, get comfortable and find a place where you will feel safe and relax to play with your body. You can use your imagination or read an erotic story to start things off. Slowly, start massaging the area above the clitoris until you get wet. 

If you need help, use lube and continue with your message. Once you’ve found a spot and rhythm that feel good, start rubbing faster and harder, while also increasing the speed and adding more pressure to make it more intense until you orgasm.  

If you didn’t manage to orgasm, don’t worry. You can always try it again and play a bit more. The important thing is not to think of this as failing. You are simply getting to know your body and understanding what brings you the sexual pleasure you need to orgasm. There are no rights and wrongs, so don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t orgasm right away. 

Instead, try different things or techniques. You can use a sex toy, watch a sexy movie, masturbate in the shower, use more lube, etc. The more things you try out, the better you’ll understand your sex drive. 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Real Female Orgasm

Everything You Didn’t Know About A Real Female Orgasm

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Everything You Didn’t Know About A Real Female Orgasm

 

Female sexuality has been raising curiosity for centuries now, whether from scientists, media, or the general public, and topics such as a real female orgasm were often vaguely covered without too many details. Understanding female orgasm is often confusing for women, not only for men. This complex mystery is slowly getting solved as the world is focused on finding out the answers to questions we wanted to know for a long period, such as ‘Where is a G spot?’, ‘Does a woman need to orgasm to experience sexual pleasure?’, and so on. 

So, we’ve decided to gather all these questions into one article and give you everything you need to know about female orgasms. 

Why do women have orgasms? 

When talking about male orgasms, the benefits are quite clear. Men ejaculate in order to deposit sperm into the vagina, which might or might not lead to pregnancy. Simply put, the male orgasm serves evolutionary purposes. 

However, this is not that clear with female orgasm. Many scientists have been researching various potential benefits, yet only a few have been tested and none of the theories around it has conclusive scientific support. Putting all these assumptions aside, the pleasure a woman gets from orgasming is incredibly vital for her sexual life. It motivates females to have sex, enhances the relationship they have with their sexual partner, and it doesn’t have to involve evolutionary benefits. 

How does a female orgasm feel? 

During arousal, the flow of blood to the genitals will increase, which will cause the genitals to become more sensitive. With arousal, a woman will also experience an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate. As the orgasm is approaching, the woman’s muscles will twitch or spasm. When talking about female orgasm stages, although theories still differ, these four specific stages have been accepted as the most valid ones:

  1. Excitement: The moments when arousal builds,
  2. Plateau: The moments when arousal start increasing,
  3. Orgasm: It causes intense feelings of sexual pleasure,
  4. Resolution: The moments when arousal diminishes.

What are the benefits of a female orgasm? 

Before going into the benefits of female orgasm, you will need to keep in mind that none of the health benefits have enough scientific evidence to support them. When talking about health, scientists still haven’t discovered benefits that improve health in any way when having regular female orgasms.

However, there is a great benefit in experiencing the pleasure that comes with an orgasm. Having sex you enjoy might enhance your mood, relieve stress, boost your immunity, and foster better relationships. Another thing that’s important to mention is that a woman doesn’t need to have an orgasm in order to get pregnant. 

Is the lack of female orgasm connected with psychological issues?

Trauma, issues in your relationship, and poor mental health might make it difficult for you to orgasm, however, it’s not a rule. Many women who have healthy sexual attitudes and quality relationships will still have difficulties when orgasming. 

Orgasms are both physical and psychological responses, and there are many health issues that might make it complicated to enjoy your orgasms. Another thing that might occur is vulvodynia, unexplained pain in the vagina that women feel during sexual pleasure. All in all, if someone is unable to orgasm, the reasons for it should be looked at individually.  

Can women have vaginal orgasms?

Vaginal orgasms are less common than orgasms from clitoral stimulation, yet some women have reported experiencing them with or without other stimulation. Keep in mind that female orgasms might result from numerous forms of stimulation, including vaginal, clitoral, and nipple. How one person orgasms will depend greatly on them, some might only experience orgasm from the vaginal stimulation, while others only from clitoral. 

Do women need to be in love to orgasm? 

As a complex psychological and biological experience, orgasming will not be the same experience for every woman. There are women who need to feel loved in order to orgasm, while they are others who may not. Having a loving relationship with your sexual partner may or may not influence your ability to orgasm during sex. 

Having an orgasm is more about the right type of stimulation for this person, yet it also includes a lot of different factors outside their sexual life, like stress, physical ability, and a wide range of other factors. 

Can men always spot a female orgasm? 

It will be very difficult for a man to know if a woman has had an orgasm without asking her. Some women will make noises while having an orgasm, and others may not. Some women will flush or sweat after orgasm, yet others do not. So, the best way for men to know whether their female sexual partner has had an orgasm is to directly ask her. As a man, you should know that not having an orgasm doesn’t mean that a woman isn’t enjoying the sex. Female orgasms are just very different from male orgasms.

Can masturbation help with having more female orgasms?

Yes and no. Discovering your own body and understanding which spots of your body make your feel good will help you see what you need in order to orgasm. Remember, not every woman requires the same type of stimulation in order to orgasm. Maybe you’ll discover when you touch your nipples, you feel incredible sexual pleasure and orgasm faster. If you communicate this to your sexual partner, they will know what you need to orgasm. 

Keep in mind that if you have always struggled with orgasm when having sex with your partners, it might be too optimistic to expect to have frequent orgasms now that you masturbate. Instead of putting too much pressure on yourself, you should think of your sexuality as something you enjoy exploring and if something doesn’t work quite well, investigate deeper and find what’s your preferred way of doing it.

Wrap Up

Every woman is different, so every female orgasm will be different. That’s why it’s vital that women are talking amongst them about sex topics, including orgasm. The less stigma there is about orgasms, it will become easier for women to surrender to pure sexual pleasure that leads to fantastic orgasms.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

how to rim safely

How To Rim Safely!  RIMMING TIPS 2 EAT A*S!

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How To Rim Safely!  RIMMING TIPS 2 EAT A*S!

 

Learn how to rim safely in this video!

Learn how to try to be as safe as possible when you are eating a*s and get connected to new levels of pleasure with another person.

Rimming is commonly asked about & no one understands the details! This video is for now

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Lesbian Orgasm

Your Ultimate Guide To Better Lesbian Orgasm

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Your Ultimate Guide To Better Lesbian Orgasm

 

If you are a woman who loves dating other women, learning about a lesbian orgasm is vital for both your sex life and your relationship. From learning which positions provide great pleasure to understanding how a body with a vagina works, this guide will provide you with it all.

You never had sex with a woman yet feel curious to find out what you can expect? We will reveal all the tips and tricks to make your first time as magical as possible.

Lesbian Sex

The difference between lesbian sex and sex between the opposite sexes is that to achieve orgasm, clitoral stimulation is crucial. So, it is vital to know everything about the ways to use the clitoris and give an orgasm to your partner. As much as it is true that stimulation is a big part of lesbian sex, you can still enjoy penetrative sex as much as you would enjoy clitoral stimulation. The choice is entirely up to you and your sexual partner!

When compared to hetero sex, clitoris and other erogenous zones are a bigger priority than just the act of penetration. As stimulation provides a different sensation than penetration, many bisexual people say they experience more pleasure while having sex with women than men. 

If you are looking for inspiration, take a look at some of the most popular sex positions among lesbian couples that will bring incredible satisfaction to you and your partner in bed and everywhere else you like to get freaky!

It’s 69 O’clock!

This position is among favorites among lesbians couples as it allows each partner to give and receive clitoral stimulation. One person will need to lie on top of the other, facing each other in the opposite direction. In other words, your feet should be where their head is, and your partner should do the same. With 69, both of you will be able to have your mouths right next to each other’s vagina.

The great thing about this 69 is that you can easily switch positions, so both of you can be on the top during sex. For those who will not feel comfortable with this top-bottom position, you can also practice 69 on the side. Whichever of these two options you choose, you will not be disappointed! 

Let Me Sit On Your Face!

If you like dominative and submissive games, face sitting is an excellent position to have fun with it. The person on top (dominant) will sit on the face of the other person (submissive) who is in the laying position. For those who enjoy role-playing, you can even include that as well when in this position.

The person sitting on someone’s face is in complete control, getting all the pleasure they can get from this position where mouth and tongue stimulate the clitoris. 

The Good Old Doggy! 

Most people will think of hetero couples when talking about the doggy-style position, yet many lesbian couples will recommend it to any rookie joining the club. Simply by adding a strap-on, partners can make the most of the doggy style and achieve great pleasure for both of them. The reason why doggy-style sex is so pleasant for partners with vaginas is the receiving partner can stimulate the nipple and clitoris with the fingers or a vibrator while the other partner is behind. 

This position is a good choice for anyone who loves deep penetration. Due to the angle of penetration, the doggy style brings great satisfaction to the person on all fours. If you are looking to take it one step further, why not blindfold and tie the hands of the receiving partner and heighten their senses that way?

Stretch Me, Baby!

The stretch is very similar to doggy style, so the chances are if you are a fan of one, you will probably enjoy the other one as well. With this position, the partner will slide underneath the other partner while lying on their back. Either you or your partner will stay on all fours and stretch the arms out in front. At the same time, you will need to raise the bottom as high as possible for a better feel. In other words, one partner will be underneath the other who will support their body with hands and knees. 

This position provides both partners with an incredible sensation and is more intense for the partner doing the stretching. So, if you were looking for something new to try in the bedroom, stretching is the position the both of you will surely enjoy!

Bossing Around!

If you like being in control during sex, this is what you need to make the most of your sexual experiences. You will sit in a chair or on the edge of your bed and spread your legs wide. Under your feet, you will place a pillow and tell your partner to crawl between your legs. Then, you will wrap your legs around their neck to find the right angle and use your hips to navigate your partner.  

This position can be just the start of you bossing your partner. You can tell them to be quiet and follow your instructions. Guide them during the entire time on what you need to achieve an orgasm.

Vibrate My Nipples!

Of course, there are plenty of couples who are not into the penetration game. If you were thinking of vibrators as toys for penetrating, it might surprise you once you have experienced their stimulation potential! For many people, nipples are an erogenous zone, and just by someone touching, licking, kissing, and biting their nipples, they achieve great pleasure. So, why not use the power of the good old vibrator and graze it along the nipples to experience something completely different?

You can use it for foreplay and during sex, depending on how you want things to go. One thing is for sure, you both will enjoy it and come back to the nipple game a few times more. Once you get tired of it, you can buy a differently shaped vibrator or change the speed on the one you have, and you will be more than amazed!

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.