Top Phrases That Doomed Couples Say

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Top Phrases That Doomed Couples Say

 

If you’re wondering what might be these top phrases that doomed couples say, you’ll be surprised how many times you have heard them so far. Whether it’s from parents in your child’s school, your neighbors, or your colleagues at work, how someone talks and what they talk about tells a lot about their relationship and life in general. 

For instance, couples that are trying to make you feel miserable, trying to make you live their lives, or putting you in the middle of their drama are some of the situations we’ll cover in this article. Words are a powerful weapon, yet they are also a great indicator of relationship quality.

Maybe you have an old friend and you’re worried about their partner not being the best choice for them or you don’t want to be near messy relationships. Whatever the reason might be, these phrases will help you understand when you should stop spending time with a couple that takes the fun out of every lovely dinner or barbeque party.

1. “This was the first time we fought in public.”

You’re at a great restaurant with this couple your spouse invited after a business meeting and as much as you were looking forward to it, the tension between the couple destroyed the entire night. They are sarcastically responding and interrupting each other until the moment when things get so heated that they start to fight loud in front of you and the entire restaurant. 

After the fight, they will start apologizing and saying this was the first time they fought in public. They will show all the signs of embarrassment and ask you to forgive them. However, this type of couple rarely does only one show like this in their relationship and you might end up in the middle of another scene if you continue spending time with them. 

2. “You have to have kids, it will fulfill your life just like it did to us.”

When will you get married? When will you two have kids? Why don’t you work on the second child so your kid doesn’t feel lonely? 

How many times have you heard these questions from your family, distant relatives, and colleagues, and when a couple with kids starts asking these questions, they become even more frustrated. Many couples who others will only be happy if they do the same things they did are not happy at all. 

These people rarely don’t know what happiness or fulfillment is because happiness can mean different things to different people. One person can be perfectly happy in a marriage with children, while another will feel more fulfilled with their career or having a vivid social life. 

3. “You can do so much better.”

Although we’ve all been in one of those relationships where we know that the other person is not right for us, judging your new date just on their looks or the short amount of time a couple spent talking to your date is unacceptable. Mostly, this phrase will refer to the way someone looks or their profession, and doesn’t consider other. More relevant factors like the connection you two share, their emotional intelligence, the way they treat you, etc.

Many couples who believe that their status is the most important thing on the planet will try to get you in that game with them. They will advise you to spend too much money on clothes you can’t afford, go out only with people who are at your level or higher, go with them on luxury trips, and more. Yet, if this is not something you are looking for yourself, this type of comment might make you feel uncomfortable and the best thing would be just to leave with your date.

4. “Men/women here are difficult to date, you should try to find someone in more exotic countries.”

Don’t take dating advice from people who blame the entire culture when it’s difficult to find someone to click with. There is indeed nothing wrong with falling in love with someone from a different country, yet that isn’t the factor that will make someone a more desirable partner. If the person is interesting to you, it truly doesn’t matter if they are from your city, another country. Or even continent. 

By following such advice, you are setting yourself up for failure. You don’t fall in love with someone’s culture, you fall in love with them as a person. If you haven’t been on a nice date for a while, the least you can do is not to listen to a couple who has been in your shoes long ago.

5. “We’re the nicest couple you’ll ever meet.”

 Wow, how many times have you heard this one? Typically, those who will say they are the nicest couple or persons are the opposite of it in general. That said, it doesn’t mean they will convert to your worst enemies. It simply means that these people feed off impressing other people and not making real connections with them.

They will often lack social skills and emotional intelligence. So when talking to them each time, you might feel like they are not listening to you or don’t care about you. And probably, you are right. While you’re interacting with them, they are already scanning the room to find a new person to impress.

The Bottom Line

You will know you are talking to a doomed couple if, during the conversation. They are making you feel uncomfortable in any way. They can be passive-aggressive with a smile on their face and seem like they are trying their best to be your friends, yet something doesn’t feel right. You will often not know how to describe it or explain it to another person, and you will not have to. If you feel this way, it means that you are dealing with a doomed couple. So, the best thing to do would be to just leave and never put yourself in this type of situation anymore.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Toys For Pleasure: Overview & Tips On How To Use Them 

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Sex Toys For Pleasure: Overview & Tips On How To Use Them 

 

In the last decade, sex toys for pleasure have created a market on their own. By offering pleasure to men and women, sex toys have evolved tremendously and broken through all the stereotypes people used to have about this type of product.

After all, we’ve only recently started discussing more openly our sex lives, sexuality, and things we like and dislike in the bedroom. Sex and pleasure are becoming one of the common topics in conversations with friends, and also in educational institutions.

All of this has led to more people being interested in and buying sex toys for pleasure. From steam-powered vibrators and rubber dildos, there is a wide range of sex toys available to everyone looking to get some pleasure.

Before getting overwhelmed with so many options on the sex toy market, we’ve done our homework and decided to recommend you a few products you should try out. Let the moaning begin!

Sex Toys for Women

There are so many sex toys available to women that the only problem will be to limit yourself to trying out only a few toys and not spending all of your money. Dive into the most purchased sex toys for women:

1. Magic Wand Rechargeable

With a fervent fanbase, Magic Wand is still amazing women as it did when it was launched first. Many women recommend it because of its amazing vibrations and simplicity. That said, those who wish to switch gears or have a more flexible toy will need to be aware of the limitations of our beloved Magic Wand. Yet, don’t discard it so quickly, this is one of the most used sex toys in porn – that has to mean something!

2. Njoy Pure Plug 

For those of you who enjoy good anal sex, you will need to try this luxe metal plug. Its surface is almost blissfully smooth and more importantly, it’s compatible with all lubricants out there, so it guarantees you’ll get the pleasure you’re seeking. The weight of Njoy Pure Plug is also big enough to be aware of ii, yet small enough to not be uncomfortable for the woman. The great thing about it is that it comes in small, medium, and large versions, so anyone can have fun with it. 

3. Vixen Creations Mustang

You’ve never liked sex toys as they don’t seem like a real deal? Well, you’ll surely change your mind once you hear about Vixen Creations Mustang, the most realistic dildo in the world. This dildo has great dual-density material and its gentle curve will stimulate your G-spot like nothing you’ve ever tried before. This toy works well for men as well!

4. Lovense Lush 3

Are you in a long-distance committed relationship and want to spice things up with your partner? Or, are you a webcam performer who loves connecting with your audience? This long-distance Blootooth vibrator allows others who are not in bed with you to titillate you from afar by using the toy’s app. What we love about this sex toy is its rumbly motor incredibly fast responsiveness! 

Sex Toys for Men

If we had to write this article a few years ago, it wouldn’t be so easy to find great sex toys that will provide incredible pleasure to men as well. Luckily, there are many options for men to choose from when it comes to orgasming whether it’s on their own or with their sexual partner.

1. Fleshlight Quickshot

From men to men, Fleshlight Quickshot has been praised as the best male masturbator several times already. Besides being the best male sex toy, this was also the first-ever masturbator. 

The pioneer in male pleasure, Fleshlight Quickshot is smaller than its original version as it has 3.5 inches to insert the penis. Another plus is that you will not have to hide it around your room from someone who might stumble upon it because it doesn’t look like your regular sex toy. 

2. Uberlube

Okay, we know that lubes are not exactly sex toys, yet nobody can deny how much pleasure they bring during masturbation and intercourse. Uberlube is silicone-based so it will last quite long, and you will not be able to keep your hands off from the slippery surface, regardless of whether you’re touching yourself or your partner. We also love it because of its beautiful packaging, yet keep in mind you cannot combine it with silicone toys.  

  • Lelo HUGO

Although its price is a bit above the average of other male sex toys, LELO Hugo will justify its price the first time you use it. This is a favorite prostate massager for many sex toy users due to its remote that controls both strength and location of the vibrations. 

For instance, if you tilt it to the right, the vibrations will be stronger on the left side. More importantly, you will be able to focus on the area where you feel the most pleasure and make the most of it with Hugo.

3. Tenga Egg

The Tenga Egg is an excellent sex toy for those who are unwilling to invest a lot of money in it. Tenga Egg is very affordable with its price below ten dollars. Its price is what makes this super-stretchable elastomer sleeve one of the commonly used sex toys and a great idea when you want to step away from the old-fashioned ways. 

Of course, you shouldn’t expect too much for a few-dollar toy. It will not revolutionize your sex life or be your go-to toy for each masturbation, yet it is good to have if you’re not looking for expensive sex toys. It’s also a recommended option for beginners as they will not spend a lot of money on something they are still not certain if it works or not.

Press Play

Whether you are looking for sex toys for yourself or enjoy them with your sexual partner, these products can truly make a difference in how you experience your sexual pleasure. Whichever you choose, make sure you make the most of it and try it in different scenarios and positions. The only decision you might regret is buying a sex toy and not pleasuring yourself with it enough!

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Learn How to Pull Hair for Fun! [Kinky How To Guide]

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Learn How to Pull Hair for Fun! [Kinky How To Guide]

 

Learn how to be as thorough as possible when you are learning how to pull hair for fun! This is a kink how to guide on pulling hair for fun when you have consent. Be sure to check out our techniques on how to pull hair for fun when someone has long hair!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Attachment Theory In Practice: Avoidant, Anxious & Beyond

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Attachment Theory In Practice: Avoidant, Anxious & Beyond

 

Attachment theory in practice helps us understand and respond better to the needs of humans in the context of their life and relationships. It is focused on connections between people, especially in long-term relationships, including romantic partners and bonds between a parent and a child. 

Before going deeper into learning about attachment theory in practice and naming the benefits it provides for clients, it is essential to understand what attachment is first. Once we know this, we can understand how attachment theory in practice has an impact on different types of relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment can best be described as an emotional bond one person has with another. The first bonds we form as children are with our caregivers, and it has an enormous impact on how we connect with other people throughout our lives. Attachment is also valuable when keeping the infant close to its mother, which improves its chances of survival. 

Behavioral theories of attachment suggest that we learn to attach, while other theories challenge that idea by proposing that children are born with a natural drive to dorm attachment with their caregivers. 

It is more likely that the children who maintain close to their attachment figure and receive comfort and protection from them will survive to adulthood more easily than those who don’t. Yet, defining successful attachment is not as simple as it seems. Behaviorists will suggest it is the food that leads to forming an attachment behavior, while others propose nurturance and responsiveness instead of food. 

In attachment theory, the central theme is that primary caregivers, available and responsive to the needs of an infant, will allow it to develop a sense of security. The child knows that its caregiver is dependable and that forms a secure base for the infant to later explore the world. 

Stages of Attachment

Many researchers have analyzed the number of attachment relationships children form from an early age. This led to the attachment theory accepting four different phases of attachment which help therapists and mental health professionals to provide adequate care and treatment.  

  • Pre-Attachment Stage – Up to three months, infants will not demonstrate any particular attachment to their caregivers. The common signals of an infant, crying and fussing, will attract the attention of their caregivers and the infant’s positive response will motivate the caregiver to stay close. 


  • Indiscriminate Attachment – Between 6 weeks to 7 months, the infant will start showing preferences for its primary and secondary caregivers. During this period, children develop trust that their caregivers will respond to their needs. They accept care from others, yet they are beginning to distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar faces, providing a more positive response to the primary caregiver. 


  • Discriminate Attachment – From 7 to 11 months, an infant will show a strong attachment and preference for one specific person. When separated from that person, a child will protest and show symptoms of separation anxiety, while also displaying anxiety around unfamiliar people, known as stranger anxiety.

  • Multiple Attachments – When 9 months old, a child will start forming strong emotional bonds with their secondary caregivers as well, so their attachment will extend beyond the primary attachment figure. This might include the father, older siblings, or grandparents. 

Attachment Factors

As much as developing attachment towards someone seems like a pretty straightforward process, two main factors can influence how these attachments develop. One of them is an opportunity for attachment, in which children who don’t have a primary care figure may fail to develop the trust needed to create an attachment. 

The other factor is quality caregiving, which refers to caregivers responding quickly and consistently, so a child will learn they can depend on those responsible for their care. To me, this is the essential basis for any attachment. 

Attachment Patterns

When looking closer into it, there are four main patterns of attachment:

  • Ambivalent attachment: This child will be very distressed when their parent leaves. It is also one of the most uncommon patterns in the United States. As a result of parents being absent in a certain way, a child cannot depend on their primary caregiver to be around when they need them. 
  • Avoidant attachment: A child with an avoidant attachment tends to avoid its parents or caregivers, displaying no preference between its caregiver and an unfamiliar person. This attachment pattern is often a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers and makes children avoid seeking help later in life because they were punished for doing it with their caregivers. 
  • Disorganized attachment: A child with a disorganized attachment will show a confusing combination of behavior, seeming confused, disoriented, or dazed. They might even seem to avoid or resist the parent and their lack of attachment is typically connected to inconsistent caregiver behavior. Here, caregivers may even serve as both a source of comfort and fear, resulting in disorganized behavior later in life as well.
  • Secure attachment: A child depending on their caregivers show distress each time they are separated and joy when reunited with them. Even if the child seems upset, they feel safe because they know their caregiver will return. When feeling scared, a securely attached child will comfortably look for reassurance from caregivers. 

Attachment Theory in Practice

Understanding attachment theory in practice can be challenging. That’s why whether you or someone you love is experiencing attachment issues, the suggestion is to consider a mental health professional. Because we start forming bonds from an early age, it is often difficult to understand why our current behavior. And beliefs are affected by something that happened decades ago.

That said, regardless of the attachment pattern mentioned above, therapy can help every individual to learn a set of techniques that will facilitate their life, especially the aspect of relationships. Even if a person suffered trauma in their childhood and has attachment issues from it in adulthood. There are types of therapy that specifically help patients looking to improve their romantic lives, yet also bonds they form with everyone else in their life. 

 Get CONNECT now

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

What to Expect In Sex Therapy as an Individual

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What to Expect In Sex Therapy as an Individual

 

We often wrongly assume that sex therapy is reserved for couples who wish to improve their sexual life; however, getting sex therapy as an individual has incredible benefits and will help to achieve a certain goal in their sexual lives. 

Regardless of what their goal might be, a person that wishes to resolve or improve a certain aspect of their romantic or sexual life will seek help in a form of sex therapy as an individual.

The first step will be to reach out to a sex therapist of their choice. Depending on the preferences, a person’s choice can be made based on the financial budget, insurance coverage, therapist’s location, recommendations, or personal connection. Whatever your reason for contacting a sex therapis. You have decided to start a journey of healing, exploring, and growing as an individual which leads to a stronger awareness of your personal needs and emotions. And also deeper relationships with other people in your life.

Below, you will find all the steps of sex therapy that you will have to go through to achieve the objective you have set for yourself. Without a doubt, it is a process that requires time, honesty, and patience, yet the final results will have immense value to you.

#1 Filling Out The Intake

Once you have found the therapist you would like to work with, you will need to fill out an intake, which is also considered the first session of your sex therapy. Sometimes, filling out your intake might take more than one session. However, because the insurance coverage covers only one session for the intake, most individuals will decide to do it in one session.

During the first session, you will be able to decide whether the therapeutic bond is beneficial for you or not. Pay attention to how you feel when talking to your therapist and how they listen. And respond to your questions or concerns. This will give you a pretty good idea of what you can expect if you continue working with this therapist. That said, if you feel a bit uncomfortable, that’s completely fine as you are sharing intimate details about yourself with someone you’re seeing for the very first time. 

In the intake, the therapist is seeking to get your sex history, origin details, and information on where you’ve lived and anything else that might affect your knowledge or perspective on sex, intimacy, and relationships. The intake is incredibly valuable for your therapist as they can get an idea of how to help you. And start working on a strategy that will help you achieve your goal.

#2 Setting a Clear Goal

Your goal will be related to the reason why you’ve decided to go into sex therapy. For instance, you’ve looking to start dating after a long relationship or going through a divorce and need help to feel good about your sexuality. Setting a clear goal will help your therapist understand where you want to go with your therapy

Your goal should be in your intake. That way, your therapist will know in which direction to take the sessions to make sure you’re both working towards the same goal. Also, your therapist will be the one to tell you what does it takes to obtain your objective. The most important is your willingness and openness to things you don’t know. 

When discussing your goal with the therapist, ask them questions about how to achieve it. Seek tactics that can get you closer to what you want. After all, the reason you’ve decided to talk to a sex therapist is that you wanted to learn valuable techniques that will help you in your life. After each session, ask them for homework. Your therapist might decide to share an article, a book, watch a movie, do a little experiment. Or something completely else. 

#3 Listening & Reflective Support

Besides providing you with information and useful tools, sex therapists are also great listeners and support systems. Once in therapy, you will be able to say whatever you’re thinking or feeling. This space is incredibly valuable for those individuals seeking reflective support. The more information you share with your therapist, the better. Don’t feel discouraged or ashamed to share your beliefs, fears, desires, or skills because most of us have limited knowledge about sexuality and sexual pleasure. 

We’ve learned everything we know from media, our parents or caretakers, our friends, schools. And other educational institutions, and often, that knowledge is not most accurate or beneficial for us. That’s why a big part of therapy is unlearning what we know and learning again how to get your needs met and what do they when they aren’t. 

#4 Learning Process

After you have shared all relevant information about your sexuality and perspective on sex. Your therapist will start providing you with information. Even if you haven’t asked for it, a therapist will start the learning process during sessions and outside of them. They will use various sources to teach you tools and ways that will get you closer to your goal. For instance, a client that feels uncomfortable when naked might be recommended to read a book on accepting and loving their body. 

Once the therapist has a clear idea of your objective and obstacles preventing you to achieve it. They will start with specific suggestions. That means that two clients with the same goal might be suggested different homework due to their different-sex history or childhood background. A person that is going through a divorce will also receive a different type of sex therapy than someone who is looking to start dating after years of being out of a relationship.

#5 Intensive Type of Therapy

Most of the time, the learning process mentioned above will be enough to get you to achieve the goal from the beginning of your sex therapy. However, in cases where the goals still haven’t been met, a therapist might suggest an intensive type of therapy. These therapy types might be eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), or dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).

Each of these intensive therapy types will get you to the core of what is preventing you from achieving your goal. By applying this type of therapy, your therapist will guide you to dive deeper into the areas affecting how you feel and think about your sexuality and sexual pleasure. Once you’ve gotten to the core of the issue, it will be a lot easier to understand what it takes for you to reach the set objective. And enjoy your sexuality without any obstacles around you.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

5 Reasons Why He Didnt Text You Back

Discover The 5 Reasons Why He Didnt Text You Back

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Discover The 5 Reasons Why He Didnt Text You Back

 

Multiple things lead to the 5 reasons why he didn’t text you back! I want you to feel fulfilled no matter what your gender, and understand the reasons of why he didnt text you back.

Men, women, enby – let’s talk about why the guy didnt text you back

Also, check out our Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies to experience more. https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/pr…

The 5 Reasons Why He Didnt Text You Back Explained!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

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If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

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Anger Management Counseling – Get Video Help Now

Anger Management Counseling – Get Video Help Now

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

sex education

Sex Education You Never Got

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Sex Education You Never Got

 

Whether you’re in a relationship or solo, adolescent, or in your 20s or 30s, sex education is a never-ending process. Often, we’ll wrongly assume that just because someone has passed their adolescent year, they know everything there is about sex, dating, and relationship, yet this is not the case. 

This area is so wide that it would probably take us an entire lifetime to learn everything there is about sex. Dr. Sara and I did a presentation on this before the pandemic and I would love to share here! 

Learning about sex shouldn’t begin after your first sexual experience, yet as this topic was until recently considered taboo, things are slowly starting to change. Young people are educating themselves through conversations with their family members and friends, through schools, media, etc. By understanding sexual education doesn’t involve only sex, you will better manage situations you find yourself in, from dating to being in serious, long-term relationships. 

Dating as an Opportunity

Things are not just fast-forwarded to sex. To get to know each other better, people will typically start dating before they decide to move to a more physical phase that involves touching, kissing, and having sex. If dating is a stressful experience for you, consider applying an opportunistic or zen philosophy in dating. In other words, you will have to be willing and open to confront anything that’s causing any unpleasant emotions within yourself. 

Instead of allowing these emotions to take control over you while you’re trying to ignore them, take a look at them to understand them better. What makes you feel like this? Is it a certain situation or expectation that is causing discomfort in you? Have you had this feeling before? Start exploring it instead of ignoring it and you will soon notice how your attitude towards dating is changing. So, before jumping into exploring sex, make sure you feel good about dating new people. 

The Science Of Sex

How you feel about sex is one thing, yet knowing the technical details of sexual pleasure is crucial to enjoying sex and having orgasms. Understanding the difference between the internal and external clitoris, the labia majora and minora, uretha and vagina hole are just some of the terms you’ll need to learn to understand better the female body, and see what works for you and what doesn’t. 

There are many different paths to a female orgasm, which doesn’t necessarily include only sex organs. By touching and kissing a person’s nipples, they can experience a wave of sexual excitement which followed by, for instance, touching the G-Spot can lead to an incredible orgasm. As every person is different, their likes and dislikes in sex will differ as well.

Physiology Behind The Orgasm

If you’ve ever orgasmed before, you know that this feeling is undeniably good, however, to learn how to have frequent orgasms you’ll continue enjoying, it’s necessary to know at least some basics around the big O. Having an orgasm is feeling your vagina, uterus, anus, and sometimes even other body parts contracting rapidly from 3 to 15 times, squeezing for a little less that one second at a time. 

The female orgasm can also include ejaculation, the release of a liquid out of the urethra. As every sex experience is different for each person, orgasms might feel different as well. That’s why it’s vital to learn what feels good and what doesn’t for you. Understanding what excites you and sharing it with your sex partner to experience the four phases of orgasm: 

  1. Excitement: Initially being turned on.
  2. Plateau: Repetitive motion that feels pleasurable.
  3. Orgasm: The burst of pleasure and release.
  4. Resolution: The refractory period. 

Although these phases are accurate, they don’t need to occur every time. Also, for some women, sexual pleasure doesn’t always lead to orgasm. On the other hand, having an orgasm at the end of the sexual experience doesn’t imply that the sex was amazing. As said, it’s quite individual, so your learning about sex might be different from how your friend is learning about their body and sexual pleasure. 

Types of Sex

There are hundreds and hundreds of sex positions you can try out with your sex partner. However, if you’re looking for more general categories of sex, you can start learning about different types of sex. You can choose between clitoral, vaginal, cervical, and anal sex. 

With all four types of sex, a woman can experience orgasm. Depending on what you prefer, you can combine a few sex types in one experience or stick to the one that makes you feel completely excited. If you lack experience and would like to see how you like each of these types of sex, you can easily try it on your own. Use a sex toy like a vibrator or your fingers instead of a penis. For instance, with clitoral sex, you can insert your fingers or the toy into your vagina and move them in a “come hither” motion in the direction of your belly button. 

Taking Care Of Your Health

Taking care of your sexual health goes beyond just having protected sex. As much as using condoms protect you from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You will need to be careful which soap you use, underwear you wear, the food you eat, etc. Taking care of yourself is essential for a fulfilled and satisfied sexual life. 

If you’re keen on practicing anal sex, make sure you shorten your nails, take off any jewelry such as rings or bracelets, and use lubricant for easier penetration. Be responsible and discuss all these aspects with your sex partner as they might prefer something different from what you had in mind. Having an open conversation is the first step leading towards great sex as it helps partners exchange ideas and get to know each other better before engaging in any sexual activity.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

What Does Healthy Sexuality Look Like? [5 Characteristics!]

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What Does Healthy Sexuality Look Like? [5 Characteristics!]

 

What Does Healthy Sexuality Look Like you may have been asked! There are multiple characteristics we identify in heathy sexuality.

Learn about communication and metrics to measure what healthy sexuality in your life look like!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sexual Anxiety

How To Deal With Sexual Anxiety

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How To Deal With Sexual Anxiety

 

Whether you’re in a committed relationship or dating, sexual anxiety is something that will affect your romantic connections and more importantly, how you feel about your sexuality. Luckily, once recognized, you will be able to work on it and find ways to enjoy your sexual life despite it. With adequate therapy, many individuals can maintain healthy sexual relationships and enjoy the process of treating their sexual anxiety instead of feeling like it’s part of them that makes them feel hopeless.

So, before we tackle the ways to deal with it, let’s take a look at what sexual anxiety is and what causes it to understand better how to cope with it in your everyday life. 

Sexual Anxiety

Also known as sexual performance anxiety, sexual anxiety can be caused by a range of negative experiences from the past, stress, or any other factor. Sexual anxiety is expressed by feeling extreme anxiety which often then results in sexual avoidance. As it is with other types of anxiety, communication is crucial to detect it, treat it and have a functional sexual relationship. 

Besides helping your partner understand what you’re coping with, communication about your sexual anxiety will also help you find the cause of it and help you build a fulfilling romantic life. 

Coping with Sexual Anxiety

With having all of that in mind, how can you know if you or someone close to you is coping with sexual anxiety? As it is with other anxiety types, it might be challenging to detect if you’re dealing with sexual anxiety or something else is happening, including stressful life events. As such events can easily trigger emotions that also occur when someone is coping with sexual anxiety, it requires a bit more detail-oriented approach and long-term awareness. 

Start paying attention to moments when your mood changes. Is your sexual anxiety a result of your partner initiating any form of physical contact? Does it happen each time you’re anticipating a sexual activity to happen? If this is quite similar to what you’re experiencing, it might be that you’re having anxiety around sex. 

Reasons Behind Sexual Anxiety

There are numerous reasons why a person might struggle with sexual anxiety, and sometimes there is only one reason behind it, and sometimes there are more of them. Most of the time, a person will not be able to make the connection between the cause and sexual anxiety there are experiencing, so it’s highly recommended to reach out to a therapist that treats sexual anxiety.

These are some of the most common reasons for a person experiencing sexual anxiety:

  • Body image issues: If a person is uncomfortable with certain aspects of their body, it will be challenging to feel confident without clothes in front of their sexual partners.
  • Sexual dysfunction: Coping with erectile dysfunction or low libido can be hard for both partners in the relationship as finding solutions is not as easy as it seems.
  • Sexual abuse: If a person experienced sexual abuse in their life, it might be difficult for them to think about sex healthily.
  • Relationship issues: If a person is in a relationship where both parts fight or argue a lot, it will be hard to maintain intimacy when it comes to sex.
  • Fear of intimacy: If a person is struggling to trust others, it will be challenging to surrender and enjoy their sexual experiences. 
  • Compatibility: If a person is not attracted to their partner, it will lower significantly their desire to have sex and lead to anxiety when thinking about it. 

Understanding Triggers

Now that you understand potential reasons why someone might be dealing with sexual anxiety, it’s vital to identify triggers. If a person has experienced sexual trauma in the past, feeling safe and in control of the situation might be critically important. These past traumas can lead to triggers such as a stressful day at work. You will need to be really attentive when identifying what type of experience is being carried over into the intimacy between you and your partner. 

Once you identify these moments when you have a shift in your mood or thoughts, you should document it in some way. Being aware that, for instance, a meeting that didn’t go well changed how you feel about the entire day, might help you connect this experience to your sexual anxiety. 

Also, your sexual anxiety might come directly from the person you share these intimate moments with – your partner. If they are saying or doing something that is affecting how you feel about sex, you should communicate this to them. Yet, before doing that, make sure you’re starting the conversation without accusing them and instead try to inform them of what you would prefer instead. 

Coping With It The Right Way

After you’ve identified your triggers, you will need to dig even deeper. Understanding why these triggers exist in the first place and when did they start will help you cope with sexual anxiety the right way. Simply put, until you’re aware of your triggers, they are the ones who control you. Once you become aware of them and learn how to deal with them, you will take away their power. 

If you decide to start therapy to cope with sexual anxiety or wish to approach it differently, it is advised to inform your partner so they can provide you with the support you need. Also, sharing something this intimate with them might help you connect and set a quality foundation for your relationship. 

Be honest with them throughout the entire process. The more transparent you are about your feelings and thoughts, the easier it will be to go through them. Luckily, sexual anxiety is something you will be able to treat successfully and start building a healthy sexual relationship with your partner once you’ve completed the treatment process. 

Keep in mind that your partner can often provide good ideas for you to cope with sexual anxiety too, especially if you’re in a long, committed relationship. Someone who knows you well might see these triggers before you and offer you a different perspective. So, make sure you get the support you need to enjoy all the sexual experiences you wish to have in your life!

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Esther Perel

Esther Perel Discussion Group Joins Leveled Up Love for Relatefest

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Esther Perel Discussion Group Joins Leveled Up Love for Relatefest

 

We are working together to create a new world where we have conscious & consensual relationships through the Esther Perel discussion group, Leveled Up Love, and Wedeepen. Coming together, these three communities created a weekend of workshops for people endlessly curious about relationships. 

Esther Perel 

Esther Perel

Esther perel shows us that there is a problem with the way we are doing relationships. Even some of my clients tell me that “Mating in Captivity” feels hopeless. I felt the same way when I was first introduced to it in 2013, so as a sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist, I went on a quest on how to create conscious and ideal relationships.

What I found through Francesca Gentille would change my life. What I honed in on through compassionate / nonviolent communication was pivotal. Taking the needs inventory and hearing the concise Tony Robbins version was also helpful. Knowing that certainty, Uncertainty, significance, communication, growth, and contribution. These needs actually were one of the first things I bonded with Shai Fishman about. 

Leveled Up Love

 

Shai Fishman and Lea Aeolli of Leveled Up Love are creating a new paradigm on relationship lifestyle choices. Going over what they have learned and spreading helpful information is something that the non monogamous world desperately needs. I am so proud they showed up and that I have had the honor of working alongside them. 

When I heard that Shai and Leah Marshall run another Facebook group for those who discuss Esther Perel, I knew this event would be of particular interest to me. 

Joining up with Christina Weber of Wedeepen synched it all together. Thanks Christina for leading my husband and I through a beautiful ecstatic dance morning. We felt so held by your leadership. 

At the relatefest event, we entered and created a container of the new paradigm. Creating relationships based on new principles will create a new world. My husband and I performed and did a tie along rope bondage demo to the audience. 

Esther PerelNew Paradigm Vision 

For example, when we say that no one is entitled in an adult relationship… that no one is entitled to time, money, partnered sex, or emotions – we begin to build a new world. We create a world that is unlike what Esther Perel warns of in Mating in Captivity. Creating a world where partners are not even entitled to hold space for one another, yet GET to listen to their partner because they want to create new levels of intimacy. That depth is one of the most important concepts that we continue to learn over and over as we are creating conscious relationships. 

Every interaction can become a conscious negotiation between functional adults. If you are able to give yourself space to be reactive with emotions, yet not entitled towards sharing those emotions in the heat of the moment with the person you feel emotional about, you are an empowered and functional, conscious adult. 

Esther Perel’s mission and the mission of our work is ongoing growth & consent on all levels. If we think about our emotions, they have powerful messages for the US. The reality is no one else has the right to our feelings – we share them with consent. When we do this, it begins to even out the playing field between all genders. 

If you curate your life to practice this, then you can call in others who are owning their emotions, owning their inner work, and in their healing process. Even when you feel lonely, we practice holding space for someone where we can model healthy and divine sacred relationships – both in darkness and light. 

Esther Perel

Check Out All Our Additional Therapy Video

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

why sexuality is important

Sex Therapist Answers Why is Sexuality Important – FOR INDIVIDUALS

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Sex Therapist Answers Why Sexuality is Important – FOR INDIVIDUALS

 

Let’s figure why sexuality is important …. For your whole life.

This is what I love and live for.

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

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sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Sexology

Everything You Wanted To Know About Sexology

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Everything You Wanted To Know About Sexology

 

Many people wrongly assume that sexology is a scandalous profession, yet the term stands for the scientific study of human sexuality and sexual behavior. People who are studying sexology are sexologists, and they differ significantly from sex therapists. Many sexologists might decide to pursue their career as sex therapists to work with their patients in a clinical setting. Others might explore other careers such as sex educator, sex researcher, or public policy activist.

The work of a sexologist is not very different from other researchers of human behavior or therapists. They study and communicate with people who might experience low sexual desire, feeling of disconnection, or inabilities to have an orgasm. Their profession doesn’t imply they love sex more than any other person. It just means they enjoy studying it, helping people, and contributing to their field of science. 

As there is still a lot of misconceptions about sexology, we’ve decided to bring some clarity to this topic and find out what a sexologist does in their job. 

Becoming a Sexologist

A person can become a sexologist in more than one way. With many universities offering degrees in sexology or human sexuality, students have more options to decide what will be the starting point of their career as a sexologist. Also, someone can become a sexologist if they have an educational background in sociology, psychology, biology, anthropology, or public health. 

Typically, a sexologist will have a master’s or doctoral degree, yet it doesn’t necessarily have to be in sexology or human sexuality. There are also many training and certification programs for becoming a sexologist, and they are a personal choice rather than a field requirement. 

Using Sexology Knowledge

As already said, a sexologist doesn’t necessarily have to become a sex therapist and work with patients in a clinical setting. Besides being a sex therapist, sex educator, sex researcher, or public policy activist, there are many ways to practice sexology. For instance, a sexologist can organize workshops about sex health, educate teenagers about sex, or participate in sex-related initiatives in their community. 

Those who have decided to pursue their career as sex therapists will work directly with clients, with individuals or couples, to address problems they have in their sex lives and find solutions for these problems. The variety of such problems goes from mismatches libidos to sexless relationships. As most states don’t require certification to practice sex therapy, it’s crucial to check the previous experience of the sex therapist before starting therapy with them.

A well-recommended or experienced sex therapist will detect problems easier than someone without these two factors and will help the patient more efficiently. As much as it’s true that good sex therapists without certifications exist, this helps patients be at peace when undoing sex therapy and sharing their intimate details with someone who is a stranger to them. 

Sex Therapists vs Sexologists

Both professions study human sexuality and sexual behavior, yet in different ways. Often, sexologists will study patients and do their research from afar, whereas sex therapists will work directly with their patients. During sessions, sex therapists will not have any physical contact with their patients. As many people think that clinical sexologists do hands-on work, it’s quite important to know that all work is being done through the conversation between the therapist and the patient. 

Also, there is no nudity or any demonstration of sexual activity involved during sex therapy sessions. Future patients must understand that these sessions are just like regular therapy sessions with more focus on conversations related to sex. If there is a need to explain something graphic, a sex therapist or a patient will show it in on a puppet, diagram, or in a book. 

After several sessions, when the patient has more trust in their therapist, they might be given more practical tasks to take them home. This is often the case with couples or if a person is struggling to achieve an orgasm. Where a therapist might suggest exploring and doing research when at home alone or with a partner. 

Benefits of Sexology

Whether it’s sexologists or sex therapists, they both have incredible value in how we feel about sex, what we know about it, and how we behave in actions related to sex in any way. The more these topics are discussed. People will have more healthy sex lives that improve how they see themselves. And also how they connect with their partners.

All of the achievements that were made in the field of sexology, regardless of the branch, have had a positive impact on society as a whole and us as individuals. Due to sexology, we today know that having sex without protection can lead to a range of sexually transmitted infections. We’ve also learned there is nothing wrong with masturbation. Most achievements in sexology were focused on unlearning what we’ve been taught about sex to finally enjoy that aspect of our lives. After all, we’re sexual beings and we deserve to feel excited in more ways than just one!

In Final Words

Whether you’re currently seeking a sex therapist or considering pursuing a career as a sexologist. Hopefully, this article motivated you to do your share. As much as the sexual revolution helped us realize how significant sex health, sex education. And sex activities are in one’s life, there is still much more to learn and unlearn. We need to look at it as sexual evolution. 

As human beings, we’re constantly evolving and learning new things about ourselves and everything around us. There is no reason for it to be different with human sexuality and sexual behaviors. Whether it’s an open conversation with a friend, scheduling your first sex therapy session. Or enrolling in an undergraduate sexology program, each of these steps will contribute to a healthier and happier society that doesn’t ignore its sexuality. Instead, it celebrates it and seeks more ways to enjoy it!

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Trauma Therapy

Trauma Therapy & How It Can Help You

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Trauma Therapy & How It Can Help You

 

Experiencing trauma can be excruciating, and seeking trauma therapy is often the only way to a complete recovery from it. On its own, a person might feel confused about how to process what they have been through or how to start healing from the trauma. They want to recover and feel that sense of safety again, yet don’t know how to get there.

Trauma quite often has deep impacts on us, which can be overwhelming, so seeking help in a form of therapy is completely normal and should be a choice of every person who has gone through something like this. 

There is a range of trauma treatment programs that can help individuals heal from their traumas and help them continue living their life as they used to before the trauma occurred. In this article, we’ll review what trauma therapy entails and how a trauma therapist helps someone heal. 

How Trauma Affects Us

There are numerous reasons that trauma affects us negatively and causes post-traumatic stress. Trauma will physically change our brains, so when we experience a traumatic event, our minds will change. Due to the hyperarousal, which happened during trauma, areas of our brains that worked in a particular way will change. 

Our amygdalas will get overly activated once the traumatic experience occurred. The phrase “fight, flight, or freeze” refers to having a physical and emotional response to your trauma trigger. That makes you remember the trauma and the amygdala becomes overactive. In these moments, you will be hypervigilant and alert to ensure you’re safe from any potential danger. 

Experiencing trauma is very painful, and those who are hurting from it should always seek help. As a result of trauma, a person can develop several health disorders, personality changes, and other symptoms. 

Trauma Therapy

If you’ve experienced trauma, it would be best to seek a trauma therapist as soon as possible. Talking about the pain and starting to process what happened is an essential step to recovery. Although it might seem scary, this will help you process those past events and start living a fulfilled life that is not dominated by your traumatic experience. 

Finding a therapist skilled at helping individuals who have been through trauma is the best way to deal with your trauma and everything else it brought. As many therapy types exist, a person might feel like there is no difference between them, however, the best kind of therapy for trauma is undeniably trauma therapy. 

Experiencing trauma can have an impact on your life for many years and even if an event happened ten or twenty years ago, it can still hurt you. Trauma is not a problem that can be resolved easily on your own, so many people decide to talk to a trauma therapist with experience in helping people overcome all the stress, pain, and dysfunction from having lived such trauma. 

Trauma Therapy Benefits

Learning that trauma therapy is beneficial for individuals who have experienced any type of traumatic experience will help them seek help sooner. To start with therapy, a person will need to be aware of their trauma, their triggers, and the way they react to those triggers. All these things will help your therapist understand how the trauma has affected you and where they’ll need to direct the therapy to help you recover from it. 

There are many objectives a person wishes to achieve with therapy, yet they all have something in common – healing. To heal, a person needs to be willing to share all information about their traumatic experience and post-traumatic consequences. The more effort you put into the therapy, the bigger the chances you will recover completely quicker. 

Those who have experienced trauma will never be able to eliminate that event. So they should learn how to live happily and fulfilled without trauma affecting them. It needs to become an event that happened in the past and is just a memory of something that happened to you. Instead of it affecting most choices you make in life. 

Trauma Therapy Goals

As an individual or with your therapist, it might be beneficial to set goals for your therapy. That said, don’t treat these goals as a matter of success or failure. Your goals are something that should guide and motivate you throughout your therapy and help you heal. Here are some of the most common goals people with trauma will set for their therapy sessions:

  • Successfully handling the reality of the traumatic experience that happened to me in the past,
  • Eliminating the symptoms of trauma,
  • Boosting my day-to-day operations,
  • Sharing with people my hereditary trauma experience, 
  • Learning how to regain my “personal power”,
  • Getting over the addictions caused by traumatic stress, etc. 

Trauma Therapy Types

Although there are many different therapy types, only three of them are beneficial when dealing with trauma: trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TFCBT), psychodynamic psychotherapy. And eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR).

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 

This type of therapy refers to a unique form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that helps individuals with trauma by dealing with the thoughts related to that experience. Typically, a person will have between 10 to 25 sessions. Followed by further trauma-focused therapy to continue recovering from all the secondary problems that might arise as trauma symptoms. 

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

This is a common type of therapy aiming to uncover all the conflicts and content that exist in the unconscious mind of a person that experienced a traumatic event. Psychodynamic psychotherapy emerged from methods of psychoanalysis and it monitors how interpersonal relationships can positively affect your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It’s mostly used when a person needs to become aware of the trauma to deal with it properly. 

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is one of the most recent types of psychotherapy. Intending to help individuals process their traumatic experiences in healthier ways. This type of psychotherapy assumes that the mind is constantly moving towards an individual’s mental health until there is a blockage in that flow. The trauma therapist will use external stimuli, such as eye movements or hand tapping, to direct the patient’s attention outwards.

Regardless of the treatment, trauma therapy can have incredible benefits and help individuals heal from their traumatic events. With proper care, you will soon be able to enjoy your life and make the most of it and your trauma will stay where it belongs – in the past.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Dating While Divorcing or Separated

Dating While Divorcing or Separated [5 TIPS!]

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Dating While Divorcing or Separated [5 TIPS!]

 

If you need communication strategies because you are dating while divorcing or being separated download the communication webinar HERE!

If you arent here for that and just want to learn more about quick tips in the dating and divorce / separation process, you will be happily surprised with the information we pack in here

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Sex Therapy for Premature Ejaculation and Erection Issues

Sex Therapy for Premature Ejaculation and Erection Issues

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Divorce Therapy

All The Benefits of Divorce Therapy For Couples With Kids

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All The Benefits of Divorce Therapy For Couples With Kids

 

Separating from someone is never easy, especially if you’re a married couple considering whether divorce therapy is needed to manage all the emotional chaos you and your family are going through. Without a doubt, going through a divorce will affect you even more if you’re married with kids. 

As you’re trying to work towards separation with your spouse, it’s vital to constantly keep in mind how every decision will impact your children. For them, divorce will cause a range of emotions, from confusion and sadness to anxiety and frustration if they are not the main focus of their parents in such situations. 

Many married couples might think that divorce therapy is unnecessary if they both agreed that the divorce is the best outcome for them, however when married with children, there is an incredible value of having a therapist helping your family find the best solution for everyone involved.  

1. Your Kids Are Included In All Your Decisions

There are many couples who will wrongly assume that if they both agree on getting a divorce, their children will not be affected emotionally. Unfortunately, this can be further from the truth. You and your spouse can even stay best friends after the divorce, yet the change will have an impact on your children. 

They might not show it immediately or talk to you openly about it, yet changing the perspective of home for a child is never easy. Even moving to another city can be very stressful for them, then imagine how separation of their parents will affect them.

You should also think about suggesting a separate therapy for your kids to ensure they have space to talk to someone they will build trust with and get good tools to manage successfully the situation they are in. Regardless of them being in therapy or not, you and your spouse should start divorce therapy as soon as you decide to get a divorce. A divorce counselor can help you see the options that would be more beneficial for your children than the ones you are considering. 

2. Finding A New Normal

During a divorce, you will probably be caught up in all the emotional and bureaucratic chaos that it involves, and thinking about finding a new normal for you and your kids will require some time and energy. With the therapist’s help, you will be able to set quality foundations for your family. From basic activities such as preparing breakfast in a new apartment to agreeing with your partner on days to pick up kids from school.

If you haven’t found the calm and will to give your family a fresh start, it will be almost impossible that your children can do it without you. As parents, you both have the responsibility to ensure your kids feel safe and loved during the divorce and most importantly, after the divorce as well.

3. More Capacity for Open Conversations

When in divorce therapy, you and your spouse will go over all the issues, which also include the uncomfortable and painful ones. This means that once you discuss it in your therapist’s office, you can talk about it in front of your kids without the fear of it leading to a heated discussion with your partner. 

For instance, you might have already talked to your partner about how you will handle holidays and vacations in the following year. So once you arrive home, you can include your children in that conversation as well. This will help them feel heard during the separation of their parents. And also allow them to have the space to speak their minds and share their concerns. 

4. Setting An Example for Your Kids

Therapy is so much more than just reaching out for help when in crisis. When you and your spouse decide to go to divorce therapy. You are teaching your kids about the importance of mental and emotional health. From a young age, your children will be aware that talking about how they feel in difficult situations can make them feel better and provide them with the tools they need to be happy again. 

That’s why it’s crucial that you and your spouse are not hiding the fact that you’re in divorce therapy. Speak openly about it in front of your kids and share only the information you both agree is necessary. Also, make sure you keep in mind that you’re all a part of the team working towards the same goal. 

5. Building a Friendship with Your Ex-Partner

Once your divorce is finalized, your spouse will convert to your ex-partner. However, they will still be a parent to your children, so it’s essential that you both continue respecting each other and involving each other in conversations with your kids. Regardless of the reason for divorce, your kids should have both parents present in their lives.

With therapy, you and your partner will learn how to become friends who have their children’s best interests at heart. This will take time and will not come overnight. So it’s worth considering continuing therapy even once the divorce is finalized. While you’re both trying to figure it out, try to keep your kids out of it. Don’t involve them in your arguments and never turn them against your spouse. 

Instead, focus your energy on building a friendship with your ex-partner that will help your children grow into confident, loved. And secure young people who will have their parents by their side at all times. 

In Final Words

Getting a divorce is not something you’d ever wish for yourself, yet it happens. If you’re currently going through a divorce or thinking about getting one. Consider suggesting your spouse go to a divorce therapist. After all, they will help you get through your divorce. And also talk to you about any emotional issues you might have from before that are affecting you in your romantic life. 

With therapy, you will both become better partners in parenting. Better parents to your children, and better persons in your lives. And feeling good about yourself. Even in times like this, will make your children happy and build even a stronger bond with them.

 

If you want to improve your communication skills, even while divorcing, get connect:

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

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