Clitoral Orgasm

Clitoral Orgasm: Everything You Need To Know About It

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Clitoral Orgasm: Everything You Need To Know About It

 

When it comes to orgasms, there is always something new to learn, especially with certain types such as a clitoral orgasm, right? After all, every woman has the right to learn how to enjoy herself. Enjoying that clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration on your own is something that will help you understand what you love in sex, what your erogenous zones are, or, simply put – what drives you crazy in bed. 

So, what is actually a clitoral orgasm, and how can you achieve it? If these questions are coming to mind when hearing about this type of orgasm, keep reading as we’re laying down all the facts, and also the tips and tricks on how to make the most of it and enjoy it every time alone or with your sexual partner.

When talking about orgasms, we have to mention our masturbation mentor and explorer of sexual pleasure, Betty Dodson. She is an artist, author, and PhD sexologist who has been guiding women and educating them on women’s sexual pleasure and health for more than four decades.  Here is everything you can learn from Betty’s school of orgasms. 

Orgasm 

We will usually just say the word ‘orgasm’ when talking about women, however, you will need to be more specific from now on. The way these orgasms feel usually depends on a person, yet learning about them will help you understand what to expect.

Before diving into explanations of what orgasms are and what types of them exist, let’s talk about the clitoris first. It is a small button that has many nerve endings peeking out from the vulva’s top, and it extends down the inside of the labia. 

To stimulate it efficiently, you will need to gently rub it with your fingers, palms of your hand, or tongue in a back, forth, or circular motion. For those who want to pleasure themselves and are doing it for the first time, you will need to use a lot of lubricant on your vagina. Once you have done that, start doing clitoral stimulation and discover what you like. Also, if something starts making you feel uncomfortable, stop immediately. 

Vaginal Orgasm

When it comes to heterosexual sex, the vaginal orgasm is the easiest to reach due to the penetration with the penis, however, for women, it’s the most difficult orgasm to reach on their own. Without a penis, a woman might use her fingers or a sex toy to have the same sensation. 

Start by inserting your fingers or the chosen sex toy into your vagina, and start moving them so you feel almost the same as if you were having sex with a partner who has a penis. Try to navigate your fingers or your toy in the direction of your belly button, as that’s where your G-spot is located. Meaning, hitting it with regular pressure might result in an orgasm.

Anal Orgasm

Did you know that anal orgasms are way more common in men due to the prostate? Additionally, rubbing the outside of the anal opening without penetrating can produce this type of orgasm. Remember to use lube when doing anal play, as the anal area naturally doesn’t produce lubricant, the skin around it is prone to tears. Also, wash anything that touches the anus with soap and water before touching another part of the body, to avoid infections.

Clitoral Orgasm

There are many women who struggle with orgasm, even while masturbating. Most of the time, the lack of orgasms in our lives are a result of the emotional or psychological issues where we cannot actually relax. By changing our lifestyle, hydrating appropriately, and practicing pleasure, the orgasms will come easier.

There are plenty of ways one can enjoy clitoral sex games. The best thing about it is that you can orgasm both alone and with your sexual partner. Of course, reaching climax alone will be a lot easier as you know what feels good and what doesn’t. If you were struggling to reward yourself with an orgasm, keep in mind that’s a process that involves many complex issues. 

Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zone orgasms are something you will definitely love, yet it requires a lot of experimentation. What works for you may not work for the next person. Some can easily orgasm from kisses on their neck, while others will love feeling their partner’s teeth on their nipples, or maybe even fingers on the inside of their elbows. 

If you’re not sure which are your erogenous zones, the best way to find out is by using a feather or any other light external object and finding out where you feel the most pleasure. 

During an Orgasm

Have you ever wondered what happens physically in a woman’s body when having an orgasm? Vagina, uterus and anus, and sometimes other body parts, will contract rapidly 3-15 times. You probably already know that women sometimes ejaculate as well, which means they release a liquid out of the urethra. 

We don’t experience sex and orgasm the same way, so exploring is the essential part of any sex game you and your partner decide to play. However, there are four stages of an orgasm that might be useful to know:

  • Excitement: The first moments of being turned on
  • Plateau: The repetitive motion that brings you pleasure
  • Orgasm: The explosion of pleasure
  • Resolution: The refractory period.

Communication Leads To Orgasm

In any type of sexual play that includes two people, communication is crucial. Sharing with your partner what you want, how, where and when is the only way to ensure you feel the most pleasure. Make sure you have these conversations before you two engage in sexual play so you both know what the other person wants.

This doesn’t imply you are not able to talk or change opinions during sex, it’s just to set some ground rules and have a general understanding of how things should go. Your partner cannot read your mind, so make sure you always share with them anything that might affect your sexual life and, of course, your orgasms. 

In Conclusion

There are many ways to experience orgasms. Sometimes, they will be small and almost unnoticeable, while other times, they will be really big and powerful. Sometimes, you will have only one way, and other times you might have several of them in a row. 

Just like our bodies are different, our orgasms are different as well. It’s up to you to explore what brings pleasure to you and communicate it with your partner so you both can enjoy it as much as possible. 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

A Beginners Guide To Sexual Submission

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A Beginners Guide To Sexual Submission

 

Sexual Submission is very important to many that I work with.

Whether you are looking to sexually submit to someone or interested in the definition of sexual submission. As a beginner, this guide is for you.

You will learn the techniques to assess and ask yourself what you need to dive into sexual submission in your life!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

 

 

 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Clitoral Orgasm

Clitoral Orgasm: From A To Z

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Clitoral Orgasm: From A To Z

 

When talking about women enjoying their sexual life, we somehow lack good talks about orgasms, especially a clitoral orgasm. Unlike men, women experience their orgasms differently and reaching them also varies from one person to another. That’s why it’s vital to have quality discussions about it and allow women to explore different aspects of clitoral orgasm and discover new things about their sexuality. 

There are numerous methods that might help you reach climax with more ease and even improve your arousal and orgasmic experience. After all, as women are climaxing differently, there is still so much mystery wrapped around this topic. 

Types of Orgasms

Women can reach orgasm in more ways than just one. For instance, they can reach it through clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation or through stimulating breasts or any other erogenous zone. 

However, the clitoral orgasm is the type that’s closest to male orgasm. It requires engorgement or erection of the clitoris to lead to an orgasm. In most cases, continuing with sexual activity after the clitoral orgasm will result in discomfort or pain. 

A clitoral orgasm is typically described as more intense and profound than any other type and when combined with stimulation of other erogenous zones, it might even provide additional pleasure. 

Some women reach orgasm when another person is stimulating their genitalia, while others will reach it when their breasts are being stimulated. Another thing that’s important to keep in mind when talking about clitoral orgasms is that you can always play with other orgasm types and come back to it. It’s like riding a bike, you will not forget it!

You might have only one type of orgasm for years. Or you can have different types depending on the sexual activity with your partner. When talking about female orgasm, every person is a unique individual and their orgasms depend on many things. Yet it’s recommendable to try out all of them to see what works best for you.

Understanding Clitoral Orgasms

During an orgasm, there are certain things happening in the human body. A woman will notice that her heart rate is increasing, her breathing is accelerating. And her metabolism will speed up leading to an orgasm.

When a woman is experiencing clitoral orgasm or any other type, she will go through these four phases of sexual pleasure.

  • Excitement 

This phase can be described best as the state of arousal or desire and it involves the female body preparing for sexual activity. In the excitement phase, there will be a boost of certain hormones, the blood will begin to engorge the vagina. And the entire body will feel like it’s blushing. 

  • Plateau

In the second phase of sexual pleasure, the tension will build even more. A woman might not be able to think or do anything that’s not related to sexual stimulation. Her heart rate and blood pressure will continue to increase. 

  • Orgasm

When a woman is reaching orgasm, her vagina, uterus, pelvic floor muscles and occasionally her other muscles will contract in the same rhythm. 

  • Resolution

Right after the clitoral orgasm, the woman will start feeling her body relaxing, and her heart rate, blood pressure. And breathing starting to slow down as well. 

Does Every Woman Orgasm?

If you’re concerned because it’s difficult for you to have an orgasm. Understanding that every fourth woman is reporting the same issue might help not feel alone. In reality, there are numerous reasons why a woman is not having a clitoral or any other orgasm. These reasons can be physiological or physical, or sometimes both. 

However, if a woman wants to enjoy fully her sexual life, she will need to take a look at different types of treatments, therapies, or interventions recommended by a professional. Most of the time, talking to a therapist is a good start to understanding what is preventing you to enjoy your sexuality.

Also, a lot of women are reporting that their desire for sex is diminished as soon as they enter postmenopause. Luckily, there are solutions for each issue behind the lack of orgasm and low libido as long as the woman is open to tackling the issue and working together with the therapist or any other professional who is qualified to help. 

Can You Have Clitoris Orgasm More Often?

For those who are interested to boost their sexual desire and having more intense clitoral orgasms. There are plenty of exercises and practices you can do in the comfort of your home and some even at work. 

Keep in mind that if you’re experiencing difficulties with orgasming for a longer period. It’s recommendable to talk to a therapist who will provide you with methods that will be more efficient for you. 

These are the recommendations for those who are looking to improve their overall orgasm experience. Whether it’s to improve the frequency or quality of your orgasms:

  • Analyze your orgasms: To have more or better orgasms, you will need to understand what happens in your body when you’re seconds from having it. Focus on your breathing, tension in your body, and your heart rate. The more you’re aware of these signs, you can remind your brain that if you start breathing rapidly. It’s time for a clitoral orgasm.
  • Try different things in bed: Don’t be stuck with the same-sex routine. Switch positions, stimulations, and make each of your sex fantasies come true. You might discover a new orgasm trigger which you can then implement when having sex. 
  • Connect with your partner: Regardless of whether you’re in a romantic relationship with a person you’re having sex or not, try to connect with them before, during and after sex. Be aware of their presence, provide them pleasure, enjoy the game. And your pleasure will follow as well and guide you to an orgasm. 
Practice, practice, practice: If you want to have a better orgasm or enjoy it more often, you will need to work a bit harder. This will depend on a person. However, you can try having sex more often or for a longer time to allow yourself to truly dive into your sexuality and learn more about it.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

doggy style

Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 

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Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 

 

There’s no surprise if we say that doggy style sex is one of the most popular sex positions, right? To avoid being stuck in the missionary position or any of those you and your sex partner like to practice frequently, switching to doggy sex will provide you with so much more than just dynamics in sex, it will also provide you with incredible pleasure, regardless of whether you’re a receiver or a giver in the doggy style sex.

So, to ensure you continue enjoying your favorite position and never get tired of it, we’ve decided to gather the most useful tips for all the fans of doggy sex to help them explore their sexual pleasures even more and maybe discover something new about it.

Don’t Skip Foreplay

Sometimes, people will stop having doggy style sex because they have experienced it being uncomfortable or painful. This position is a bit more tricky than the conventional ones and sometimes it does include pain, however, preparing the body for the doggy sex will make it all go away. 

That’s why this deep and often intense position might require a bit more foreplay. If you and your partner are not that into foreplay, try to massage, lubricate or kiss the penetration point so that it’s less uncomfortable when the sex starts. Ideally, you would spend 10 to 20 minutes getting it on with your partner, from dirty talk to touching and kissing various erogenous zones.

Vertical Alternative

If you’re enjoying the doggy sex, yet your knees feel uncomfortable or you experience pain in your back, a great alternative solution would be to do it vertically. So, dust your knees and stretch your body before going into a less challenging position – vertical doggy. If this is how you feel each time when you’re kneeling on all fours, suggest your partner this position where you’ll stand up and lean forward against a wall or simply bend over a kitchen table or office desk. 

Of course, if you like both of these options, you can combine them during sex as the sensation will be completely different. You can even lean forward against a mirror in the room so you can enjoy the view of each other’s bodies. 

Forget About the Bedroom 

You already know there are variations to a doggy style sex, however, that’s not where the options stop. You can have sex in this position outside your bed and in any place of the house or even outdoors. Try it under the shower while you support your hands with the wall and lean forward and your partner penetrates easily because of the water. 

You can also try it on your couch in the living room, in the garage against the car, or on your balcony. It all depends on what your preferences are, yet one thing is for sure – the options are limitless when it comes to choosing a spot. For those who love adventure, why not park the car in the middle of the night somewhere where it’s quiet, and put down the seats so you can enjoy the good-old doggy sex?

Use a Pillow

You don’t have to reach out for a pillow only when you’re afraid you’ll wake up your neighbors with your screaming. As you probably already know, not every doggy ends in orgasm, so it’s good to look for handy tools that might help you climax better and quicker. What you will need to do is to get into the classic doggy position on all fours, and put a wedge pillow under the belly. This will enhance the external pressure of your abdomen and pelvis, providing you with incredible sensations during sex. 

Also, try to keep your hips as high in the air as possible, while also resting your head and arms on the bed. This will help your partner penetrate more easily and allow you to experience doggy style sex like never before. 

Don’t Ignore the Nipples

For women who love breast stimulation, doggy is the perfect option as it allows your partner to touch them while having sex with you. If you want to surprise your partner with this idea, just grab his hands and place them directly on your breasts. Put your hands over their hands to increase the pressure and you can even show them how you want to be touched. 

Use Your Fingers

Women will usually feel most excited when touching, rubbing, and kissing their clitoris, so why not do exactly that while your partner is behind you in a doggy style position? Just use your fingers and start touching yourself. If you need a bit of help, wet your fingers before touching your clitoris for an improved sensation. 

For those who enjoy using their fingers and sharing that game with their partner, you can also put your fingers into your partner’s mouth and tease them while having sex. Or, simply wait until you orgasm, and reward them with putting your fingers into their mouth when they pull out their penis. 

Use a Vibrator

When doing doggy sex, you can use as many sex props as you need, however, you will probably already have a vibrator at home, so why not use it? You can switch from vibrator to penis and have two different sets of sensations, you can use your vibrator as a part of foreplay, or you can even use penis and a vibrator at the same time.

Once your partner penetrates from behind, hand him the vibrator and guide him where you wish to feel these vibrations on your body. It might feel really good on the clitoris, your nipple, your neck, or your thighs. It’s up to you and your partner to discover which areas will only make the situation more steamy for the both of you!

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

What to know if youre a male virgin

What To Know If YouRe A Male Virgin [Cis Het Men!]

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What To Know If YouRe A Male Virgin [Cis Het Men!]

 

You asked a question in the comments about male virginity.

Apparently I hadn’t considered men and v card and virginity status.

What does this mean?

What to know if you’re a male virgin and what to do with your V CARD is something we will go over!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

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If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Biggest Divorce Regrets

7 Biggest Divorce Regrets You Should Be Aware Of

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7 Biggest Divorce Regrets You Should Be Aware Of

 

There is another side of getting married and it might come with many biggest divorce regrets.

If you have chosen to get married, it will probably be difficult for you to imagine that your marriage might end one day. However, divorces do happen, and it’s quite important to listen to stories of those who have divorced their spouses to try to avoid making the same mistakes.

Being informed about the most common divorce regrets will not harm your marriage. On the contrary, it might save it and allow you to fall in love even more with the person you are hoping to spend the rest of your life with. So, if you’re keen to have the marriage you will be proud of. Make sure you read our list of divorce regrets, think about them. And maybe even discuss them with your spouse.  

1.Depending On My Spouse

There are many people who will enter a marriage with unrealistic expectations or even wrong intentions. Getting married is something often seen as an achievement in life, instead of something that is your decision that came out of a place of love. Some people will assume that being married will make them seem adult in the eyes of others. While completely ignoring the fact that marriage needs constant work and investment to work. Another area where many people will choose to depend on their spouse is their happiness. Married couples will often blame one another for their misery, sadness, frustration, or any other negative emotion when in reality. Your happiness is your own responsibility. 

2.Not Communicating Your Feelings

The most common reason why both relationships and marriages don’t work is the lack of quality communication. Choosing to fix problems on your own or having your feelings not shared with your partner instead of discussing it all with your partner will cause additional problems in your marriage. During your marriage, you will experience difficult situations together on your own. And connecting with each other in times like these can only strengthen your relationship even more. 

3.Not Being Accountable Enough

Many divorced people will often regret they have spent all this time arguing with their partner and blaming each other for different marital issues when they were supposed to be more accountable. After all, by not listening to each other and realizing what you can do to improve your marriage. It will be almost impossible to solve any issue you two might have. So, next time, instead of activating your fighting mode. Try to talk about it with your partner, listen to them carefully and determine what you can do to improve the situation. 

4.Taking Couples Therapy More Seriously

It’s not just about going to couples therapy, it’s about taking it seriously. In other words, you have to be willing to put in the work that’s necessary for your marriage to function. For instance, your counselor might advise you as a married couple to go out more often or to talk more about your emotions. And not doing so will not result in how you want it to. You can go how many times you want and talk to as many therapists as you like. Yet the most important piece of that ‘marriage happiness’ puzzle is you. Whatever your therapist suggests because it might enhance the connection between you two, make sure you truly dedicate yourself to it. 

5.Not Setting Boundaries With In-Laws

When you marry the person you want to build your life with, keep in mind you are not marrying their family. As much as they should be important to you, they should never be equally important as your marriage. These relationships you build with the in-laws will affect your marriage, so it’s crucial to set boundaries. Regardless of whether they are rude, intrusive, or maybe even the best in-laws in the world. You will need to let them know that your marriage comes first. This also implies that you and your spouse have every right to decide whatever you want for yourselves. Yet also that you are keen on keeping everything that falls under your intimacy away from them.

6.Combing Their Finances

Often in marriage, we will think that everything needs to be shared, even the finances. However, if you were to ask the divorced couples, they would advise you quite the opposite. Not only will the money be difficult to divide if the marriage doesn’t work, yet it might also cause a lot of marital issues. For instance, one person might spend more than the other. Which might lead to blaming this person if you’re not able to pay or purchase the thing you were saving for. Such as a new house, car, or your child’s university. 

7.Being Addicted To Social Media

Yes, we’re all on social media, however, the hours we spend on these platforms should be used for something more valuable and real. Spending hours on Facebook or Instagram can harm your relationship because you might be oblivious of the signs your partner is showing. They might be unhappy, stressed, or sad, and you will not see that because you’re attached to your phone. Use social media as little as possible for distraction. Remind yourself that the fun you can have with your partner exceeds any entertainment your phone can provide you with. 

All in all, each marriage comes with its sets of challenges. This doesn’t mean you need to give up, it means you need to work harder to make it work. Having a beautiful, successful marriage will provide you with so much happiness in your life that no other thing can replace. So make sure you cherish it while it lasts.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Gender Nonconforming & The Meaning Behind It

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Gender Nonconforming & The Meaning Behind It

 

For those who still haven’t heard of gender nonconforming, it is a term given to people who don’t conform with the gender norms expected of them. Typically, gender nonconforming refers to gender expressions or presentation, yet it can also refer to behavior, preferences, and roles that simply don’t conform to these gender norms. However, if someone is gender-nonconforming it doesn’t imply that a person is transgender or nonbinary, although a person can be both. 

Gender Expectations

Gender expectations are something that a gender non-conforming person will not conform with. They are the roles, dress, behavior, and appearance society expects from certain genders. So, we’ll have women in a specific society where it’s expected of them to shave their legs, while men might be expected not to show vulnerability. The majority of the time, most of us will not conform to those gender expectations. So we’ll have women who choose not to shave their legs and men who show their vulnerability and wear dresses. 

Gender expectations will be different depending on the society and culture, so what might be considered as gender nonconforming in one culture might not be that in another one. For instance, in the American culture, these would be some of the gender nonconformity examples: 

  • men showing emotions and tenderness,
  • women wearing suits on their wedding day instead of dresses,
  • men wearing eyeliner,
  • women pursuing careers instead of marriage or motherhood,
  • men shaving under their armpits,
  • women being assertive.

By looking at these standards, most people are gender nonconforming because probably few people would conform fully to these gender expectations. Would this mean that we’re all gender-nonconforming? Not necessarily. We say that someone is gender-nonconforming when they are intentionally subverting these gender norms. 

Gender Identity

Gender identity refers to a person’s internalized psychological experience of being female or male, and gender nonconformity is about the degree to which a person’s appearance, behavior, interests. And subjective self-concept deviate from the conventional norms the society uses for masculinity or femininity. 

The Gender roles differ from culture to culture. For instance, in the American culture, gender roles would determine:

  • which gender should pursue another romantically,
  • also which gender should be the breadwinner or the only provider of a household,
  • which gender should take care of domestic duties.

Many people will not conform to these gender roles which would be an example of gender nonconformity. For instance, a woman might have a successful career while the man stays at home and takes care of the family. Or, a woman can invite a man on a date. 

Gender Conforming or Gender Nonconforming? 

So, are these your only two options – gender-conforming or gender-nonconforming? Keep in mind that the term gender-conforming is often used without thinking about it. As we’ve already said, the majority of people will not conform fully to the gender expectations mentioned above. We will adjust conform to ones in some way and then subvert the other ones. If you’re uncertain about what you would choose, it probably means that gender conformity is not that big deal for you. In other words, you are quite satisfied with living your life authentically. Regardless of whether it matches the expectations of your gender or not. 

Anyone can be gender nonconforming as it’s not the same as being nonbinary, however, a person can be both gender-nonconforming and nonbinary. Simply put, a person doesn’t have to be nonbinary or transgender to be considered gender non-conforming. For instance, cisgender men might decide to wear dresses as an expression of their gender. Yet this doesn’t immediately imply that he’s nonbinary. It depends on the person’s choice.

You will hear people who will say that a nonbinary person has to be gender non-conforming because they don’t conform to the gender binary or any expectations for their gender. In reality, it depends on what the person chose for themselves. You are the only one who has the right to decide what will apply to you and what won’t. 

Gender Nonconforming In Practice

Depending on your choice, your gender-nonconforming actions can be big or small. Let’s keep in mind that gender nonconformity greatly depends on the cultural context. If in your culture, women are expected to grow their leg hair and not shave it, fitting this norm wouldn’t be gender conforming. However, if you were a woman living in a culture where society expects you to shave your leg, deciding not to do it would be a gender nonconformity action. 

An action of gender nonconformity can be wearing “men’s” clothing instead of “women’s”. Yet it doesn’t have to be like that for everyone. It might also look like wearing androgynous clothing. Gender nonconformity can extend to hairstyles, makeup/no makeup, grooming practices, etc. Besides gender expression, it might also include attitudes, gestures, gender roles, and so on. 

When compared to genderqueer or genderfluid, gender non-conforming is more about fender expression than gender identity. If you’re genderqueer, it means that your gender identity falls outside of heterosexual, cisgender norms. On the other hand, if you’re genderfluid, it means that having a gender identity will change and shift for you over time. Some people will use the term gender nonconforming to even describe their gender identity. All of these options actually imply that each person can decide what will work for them and what doesn’t. And all that works for them might not work for the next person. 

Think of it as a broad term that includes feminine, masculine, and androgynous traits, and sometimes even a mixture of all three. It’s the perfect term for those who enjoy playing around with dressing or gender expression in certain ways yet are not looking for a certain word to describe their gender identity. So, you will need to find what works for you and don’t worry, you can change it anytime you want if you don’t like it anymore.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Define Alternative Sexuality

Define Alternative Sexuality – WHAT IS BDSM or ALT S*X?

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Define Alternative Sexuality – WHAT IS BDSM or ALT S*X?

 

Define alternative sexuality and get a deeper understanding beyond vanilla.

Would love to detach you more and define alternative sexuality for you !

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Fetish Life: How To Find Your Spot & Connect With The Community

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Fetish Life: How To Find Your Spot & Connect With The Community

 

If you always knew there is a little bit of kink to you, you have probably researched a bit about what a fetish life implies. At first, it might seem quite challenging to understand what you want to experience in it and more importantly. How to connect with the kink community and potentially find someone you’ll explore this world with. 

One of the reasons why it is harder to become a part of a subculture like this is that it is more disguised than the rest of them. Although recently sex topics have been put on the mainstream agenda, fetishes and BDSM lifestyle are still kind of taboo. 

Fetish Explained

If you’re fantasizing about stepping out of the vanilla sex and trying something different, you will probably have a fetish you want to explore deeper. Kinky sex is an umbrella term that involves all sexual behaviors that are not considered vanilla or traditional sex, however, there is no official definition of it. What someone considers kinky, another person might consider vanilla. For instance, you might think that doggy style with a few spankings means having kinky sex. While another person will want to be blindfolded and ball-gagged in this type of sex to consider it kinky. 

A big part of kinky sex involves fetishes, fixations on something that seems nonsexual – feet, latex, leather, tickling, uniforms, etc. Many people who are a part of the fetish world will need their preferred fetish to become sexually aroused. The difference between fetishes and kinks is that kinks can be a part of a sexual play with your partner. Yet it’s not necessary to get you sexually aroused. 

Different Types of Fetishes

There are probably more fetishes that you could count, yet there are a few of them that are pretty common in this community, such as feet fetish, role play, exhibitionism, voyeurism, breath play, and dominant and submissive play. Once you start meeting other people who are into this lifestyle. They will probably prefer these fetishes, and also have a few others that you probably never heard of. After all, a fetish can be so unique that it’s only applicable to that one person. 

For instance, among the rarest fetishes, you can find arousal to statues (agalmatophilia), arousal to touch a stranger in a public space (frotteurism), arousal to touch, lick. And kiss someone’s nose (nasolingus). And arousal to being tickled by feathers (pteronphilia).

Places For Kinksters

As you could have imagined, there are not so many physical places where people with fetishes will gather and discuss deliberately their lifestyle. Most of these interactions happen online on the websites, platforms, and apps targeting this community. To help you connect with people who share your passion, we have gathered a list of such online places:

  • Fetlife: A place that gathers the entire BDSM, fetish, and kinky community. Think of it as Facebook for kinksters.
  • Feeld: This sex-positive app will help you find someone who matches your kink, and you can even use it as a couple. 
  • #open: The app allows you to list your kinks and fetishes on your profile and is also ideal for polyamorous couples. 
  • KinkD: This is a perfect place for open-minded people who are considered about the privacy and security of dating apps like this because of ti photo verification process. 

Pros & Cons of a Fetish Life

If you’re certain you wish to learn more about your kinky side, by all means – go for it. Just by allowing yourself to dive deeper into the side of your sexuality that is yet to be explored, you will already feel free and motivated to share it with the right people. However, there are definitely pros and cons of such a lifestyle. 

Pros:

  • You will discover new things about yourself by accepting this form of sexuality.
  • You will be able to connect with people who are interested in the same things in sex. And also potentially find someone who might teach you how to enjoy it even more.
  • As sex boosts our creativity and productivity, by finding your kinks. You might feel more efficient in other areas of your life. 

Cons:

  • It’s not a secret that this type of lifestyle is not warmly accepted in society. So you will need to be careful who you share it with. 
  • Depending on your and your sexual partner’s kinks, you might need to spend more money on tools, equipment. And clothes for sex than you used to before. 
  • With fetishes, you will need to determine your boundaries, and until you know what you like and dislike. You might have a few experiences that you’ll wish to forget because they were uncomfortable or painful. 

How To Join the Fetish Community

The easiest way to join the fetish community is by creating your kink profile on one of the above-mentioned apps and platforms. There, you will easily find people to talk to and maybe even meet in person. On these apps, users will often plan a dinner together or an activity where you will have a chance to meet them personally. So make sure you are involved as much as you can when making plans. 

When going to meet people you talked to online, always make sure you have all the information. For instance, they might have something that will separate them from the rest groups when in a restaurant. So it’s important to know it before you go. So you don’t miss out on a great kink event.

Another great way to inform yourself about the fetish lifestyle is by reading about it. There are many books written on this topic, and you can even find a bunch of articles online that might give you ideas on how to play with your kinkiness. You can find even movies and other types of art about fetishes. One thing is for sure, the more you research, the more things you will find. And it will become easier for you to come into this exciting community that might change how you perceive your sexual life completely. 

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How To Survive In An Unhappy Marriage

Learning How To Survive In An Unhappy Marriage

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Learning How To Survive In An Unhappy Marriage

 

If you ask your friend how to survive in an unhappy marriage, they will probably tell you to get a divorce, yet things in life are rarely this black and white. After all, you enjoy some of the things in your marriage. And you’re not willing to give up on them just like that. Maybe you enjoy the family life you built with your kids, or maybe it’s the fun you two have each time on vacation. Whatever it is, marriage isn’t something you just eliminate from your life without putting the effort to save it first.

So, instead of being torn between the two options – leave or stay – you should go back to the reasons why you got married in the first place and what you used to love and admire about your spouse. This process takes time, and if your marriage is something you once cared about. You should never leave just because you feel unhappy at the moment.

Go Back To The Beginning

To understand the source or sources of your unhappiness, you will need to figure out when you started feeling like this. For instance, it might be that you started feeling unhappy when you quit your full-time job and decided to become a stay-at-home parent. This might have led to putting high expectations on your spouse to participate more in family activities. Or romantic moments with you. However, due to their work, they were not able to live up to your expectations.

It might be that your spouse became distant due to work problems and that the two of you stopped communicating and being intimate. There are countless reasons why someone might start feeling unhappy in their marriage, yet the first step to solving it is to determine when and why it all started. And it doesn’t have to be just reason or one person that leads to you feeling like this, it might be a combination. 

So, make sure you ask yourself what changed in your marriage that is making you feel like this. If you don’t have a clear answer, make a comparison of before and after. Go into the most fulfilled phase of your marriage and reminisce on all the good things that made you happy in it. Then, do the same for now. What makes you unhappy? Are you able to separate expectations you put on your partner and reality? Which part are you responsible for?

Accepting Your Responsibility For Your Unhappiness

Before going any further, nobody says that it’s your fault that your partner is neglecting you, being distant from you. Or not hearing you when you talk about your needs. With that being said, we have to be aware that there is a certain amount of responsibility we have for each situation in our life. In marriage, as we’re so connected to our spouses, we often forget that we are two very different individuals. Yes, you might have the same plans for the future, the same values in life, and the same friends or activities. However, you don’t share one personality.

So, instead of blaming the other person for the way you feel, how about finding something that will make you feel satisfied and passionate about something new? It finally might be the time to take that pottery class, join yoga classes in your neighborhood. Or start learning Spanish or French. Think about the things that you always postponed because you never had time to do them, and decide to do them now. 

It doesn’t have to be anything revolutionary, it can be simple walks in the evenings with your best friend to unwind from a stressful day. And have a few moments for yourself. Once you focus more on working toward your own happiness. You will have fewer expectations of others to make you happy. 

Focus Only On Your Marriage

Only once you have taken care of yourself and implemented things that make you happy. You should take a new look at your marriage. There is a chance that the reason you were so unhappy in your marriage had nothing to do with your marriage. Or, it might be that even in your most fulfilled moments. You still don’t feel that marriage is the best option for you. Whatever your ultimate decision is, the important thing is to make a decision from a position of calm, happiness, and strength. Instead of frustration, sadness, or fear. 

Now, that you feel so energized and your life is filled with things that you enjoy doing. How does your marriage feel? If your partner is at his low, are you able to help them? Are you willing to motivate them to work on their own happiness, just like you worked on finding yours? 

You are married to a person, not a thing. What we often forget is that we all change and evolve, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Your partner might be stuck due to certain issues, yet with the right help, they might become again the person you fell in love with. That help can come in numerous shapes and forms. They can see how you changed and be inspired to do the same. They can start communicating openly about their feelings and what is troubling them. Often, people reach out to therapists to provide them with the tools they need to feel in control of their life and satisfied with what they have.

Saving A Marriage

If you’re determined to save your marriage, you should know it will not be easy. Everything that has unmeasurable value to us takes a lot of hard work and love for it to work. If you’re not sure whether you should stay and try to save it, think about how many months or years you have been unhappy. Compared to that, spending a few months trying to make your marriage work. While also seeking your own happiness, doesn’t seem like a long period, right? At least try to make it work by doing the best you can. And then you will know you truly tried everything. 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Top Sex Therapist Questions

Top Sex Therapist Questions [Answers Revealed!]

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Top Sex Therapist Questions [Answers Revealed!]

 

Time to discuss top sex therapist questions. It is commonly asked what are the top sex therapist questions that you hear? So here they are for you!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Midlife crisis affairs

Midlife Crisis Affair: How To Build Trust Again

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Midlife Crisis Affairs: How To Build Trust Again

 

Midlife crisis affairs are more common than you think, yet this still doesn’t make them easy to forgive. With so much fear around affairs in relationships and marriage, we tend to forget learning tools on how to deal with an affair if it happens, regardless of our final decision. Not to mention even just the fear of being cheated on can destroy healthy, long-term relationships.  

Once midlife crisis affairs do happen, both partners experience a wide range of emotions which are making it difficult for them to communicate rationally and find the best solution for the situation. No doubt, this is one of the most challenging moments of each relationship, and learning how to approach it right is crucial to maintaining your mental and emotional health.

Don’t Blame The Affair

If your partner had or is having an affair, try not to focus all of your efforts on blaming the affair for the troubles in your marriage. In most cases, the problems started way before the partner decided to be unfaithful. It’s definitely the easier route to express all your emotions towards that affair, however, is it the right one?

For those who are wanting to continue in their marriage, a reality check is inevitable. How long has it been since you and your partner have lost intimacy? When was the last time you went out on a date and just enjoyed your time as a couple? All these things affect intimacy, and blaming something or someone else for it will not make that problem go away. Yes, your partner was or is unfaithful, and that’s not okay, yet what you can learn from this experience is what will help you overcome it. 

Have a Long, Honest Conversation

Most people will be stuck in this situation and repeating questions such as ‘What was he/she like?’, ‘What was the sex like?’, ‘What does he/she give to you that I don’t?’, however, these questions are not constructive. Instead of letting jealousy take control over your actions, take a deep breath and ask questions that might save your marriage and help you do it right this time. 

The sooner you understand it’s not about who is to blame, it’s about what was wrong in the relationship that affected your intimacy. So, you should be curious about how your partner was feeling in the marriage, and what they need from you in order to feel happy and loved. Try to understand how your partner felt and what were their reasons for starting an affair, and avoid making them feel ashamed and guilty. 

Determine The Next Steps

Keep in mind that nobody expects you to forget about the affair immediately. It will take time to rebuild trust and intimacy in your marriage, so you’ll need to think of it as a process instead of a sudden change. It might even happen if you start the relationship completely from the beginning. Many married couples lost their connection years ago and they are completely unaware of what excites their partner, what are their recent interests, and what they dream about. After all, being overwhelmed with responsibilities will sometimes take away these valuable conversations from us.

So, start dating again, seduce each other, and share what you both need to make this work. You will need to set clear boundaries that will avoid additional complications, such as how you feel about having sex immediately, should you go to family gatherings when working through this affair, and if you should live separately during this period. 

Don’t Involve Others In Your Marriage

When your spouse cheats on you, you will probably first feel betrayed. This feeling might motivate you to reach out to all of your friends and family members to talk bad about your partner and turn them into a villain. As much as it is good to have someone you can talk to about how you are feeling about the affair, involving too many people might create a more complex situation than you can handle right now.

Avoid working on your marital problems outside your marriage. The person you should talk to is your partner. If you feel sad or afraid, share that with them. Understanding how you feel is what can bring your partner close to you again. Don’t think of this situation as a battle where one person comes out as a winner and the other one as a loser. You are both trying to save your marriage, and if you succeed together, there is no greater win than that.

If you become suspicious of your partner’s actions, call them out on it. Don’t fall into plotting conspiracy theories and scenarios that will only cause additional damage. However, make sure that you feel capable of giving your partner a new opportunity before trying to work things out and then using every chance you get to be jealous or suspicious of everything they do. 

Try Couple’s Therapy

Most couples who have been through a midlife crisis affair will need guidance from a professional. After all, it’s not easy to deal with all these emotions and try to make your marriage work, so many decide to go into couple’s therapy. A counselor will help you and your partner have more constructive conversations which will be beneficial for yourself and your relationship.

It will take time to heal and that’s completely fine, as long as you’re moving in a direction towards healing and not destruction. Therapy provides you both with a safe space to express your emotions and also gives you tools that can help you build trust again. The time you both dedicate to therapy should motivate you to make the most of having someone experienced in this topic to help you. Avoid treating it like a battlefield where you’re the victim, and your partner takes all the fault.

If you’re certain that you wish to rebuild your marriage and connect with your partner again, you will need to make that leap of faith and start clean. No resentment, no blame, no destruction. If you want to save your marriage, everything that is not working in favor of it should stay in the past.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Divorce Counseling: How To Prepare For It When It’s Time 

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Divorce Counseling: How To Prepare For It When It’s Time 

 

Divorce counseling aims to help you and your partner to resolve the burning issues in your marriage. Or to help you go through a divorce. Sometimes, married couples will go into divorce counseling after a divorce was finalized as it provides the closure many couples seek to move on with their lives.

Regardless of the reason why you are considering going into this type of therapy, you will get valuable tools that will help you manage conversations between you and your spouse in a more beneficial way. After all, whether you’re at the beginning or end of your marriage, you both should be able to communicate your needs, fears, and emotions that help you get closer to your goal. 

Do You Need a Divorce Counseling? 

Conflicts are normal and expected in any relationship or marriage, however, some couples will struggle to address their conflicts in a way that’s productive for them. For instance, if the discussions with your spouse escalate quickly and turn into arguments, talking to a divorce counselor will help you find more efficient ways to manage your marital issues. 

If you and your spouse are at that place where one of you is just waiting to file for divorce, counseling will provide you with a safe space to talk about your problems and get tools you can use outside of counseling as well. After all, the real work will be done after you walk out of your counselor’s office and return home.

Also, if one of you two has already filed for divorce, counseling will provide the support you need while going through this stressful process of deciding on custody, alimony, and child support. Some couples will be able to work through their issues without a divorce counselor, yet it’s much easier to have a space for discussions and get a help of a professional in sorting things out. 

How To Find the Right Divorce Counselor? 

Of course, to get the most of divorce counseling, you will need to find a therapist that will make you and your spouse feel comfortable. You will be opening up to their person about your intimate and marital issues so it’s important that you feel like you can trust your chosen therapist. This decision will differ from when you’re choosing your own therapist as you will need to consider your spouse’s opinion as well. 

Many couples have said they feel a lot more comfortable talking to a therapist who is more or less of their age. When choosing your divorce counselor, another thing you will like to think about is finding someone who shares your religious beliefs. Or has experience in counceling LGBTQ couples. 

To avoid bad quality and wasting your time, make sure you choose a licensed therapist who has credentials related to solving relationship or marital problems. If the cost of therapy is concerning you. Ask if they accept multiple insurance plans and if not, seek fees that will fit your budget. 

What Can I Expect From Divorce Counseling? 

As mentioned above, people seek divorce counselors for many reasons. Whether you’re trying to save your marriage or end it. Having a professional there might make this entire experience less painful and frustrating for both of you. When talking about areas in which divorce counseling helps, these are the areas you can expect to improve: 

  • Communication problems: You and your spouse will probably have different communication styles, so therapy will help you learn how to communicate without arguing.
  • Intimacy issues: Maintaining an intimate connection with your spouse can be lost due to stress, so it’s crucial to find a way to restore it. 
  • Mental illness: If you or your spouse has depression, anxiety or any other psychological disorder, you will be able to learn how to avoid its effect on your marriage.
  • Healing from trauma: If one of you or both went through a traumatic event, you will need the help to heal and reconnect with each other. 
  • Family disagreements: You will not always agree on everything that involves your children and this might affect your marriage if you don’t manage it the right way. 

How Can I Prepare For Divorce Counseling? 

You might feel awkward before and during your first counseling session, and that’s completely normal. With that being said, you will need to prepare before going into counseling as it will help your therapist determine the most efficient way to help you as a couple. It would be beneficial for your therapist if you’d write down all the issues you wish to work on in therapy. 

Thinking of how long each issue has been going on and what have you both done to resolve it will also help your therapist to get a better understanding of how you manage these discussions and what you both need in moments when a discussion occurs. The same goes if you’re filing for divorce. Just write down issues that motivated you to go into therapy and what you are hoping to get out of it. 

Depending on the level of motivation your spouse has when it comes to divorce counseling. You can ask them to also write down things they wish to address in therapy. If you both put as much effort as you can into it, you will more likely obtain your set goal for the therapy. 

Conclusion

Reaching out to a divorce therapist is never a mistake. Couples always get something out of it, as long as they are ready to put in some work as well. If your spouse is not as eager as you to try therapy, before forcing them into it, have a deep conversation with them where you explain to them that you want to solve issues that are bothering you both so you can be happy and satisfied with your lives and your relationship. 

If you’re considering therapy during or after a divorce, share the reasons for it with your ex-spouse and tell them the benefits you would both have from it. Understanding your reasons for it will help the other person to sympathize with you and discover that therapy is exactly what they need as well. They just weren’t aware of it before. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Touch For Turn On

Touch For Turn On [5 SENSUAL TIPS!]

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Touch For Turn On [5 SENSUAL TIPS!]

 

This week, we are discussing touch for turn on as a way to get closer to someone!

This is great for new or long-term couples. Touching for turn on is something that we are all interested in. Touching someone to bring them that feeling of being turned on is such a skill. These are the tips from a sex therapist! I imagine that a massage therapist would have different ideas! If you enjoy touch for turn on asmr or massage videos, you will enjoy this! How to touch a woman to turn her on, where do men like to be touched? This guide is for you!

Touching is one of the main love languages, so I think you can all get something out of the theme of this video.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Talking To A Teen About Sex

A Parent’s Guide On Talking To A Teen About Sex

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A Parent’s Guide On Talking To A Teen About Sex

 

As a parent, your responsibility is to teach and prepare your child for adulthood, including talking to a teen about sex. After all, it’s completely normal for your teenager to have many questions and a lot of thoughts about sex, so it’s vital to approach this entire topic maturely and allow your child to ask you everything that’s on their mind.

Keep in mind that teens who have frequent and open conversations with their parents about sex will more likely step into sexual activities when they are older, while also protecting themselves from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) when they become sexually active. 

If you wish to be the biggest influence in your teenager’s decisions about sex, you can start planning these conversations in your mind. Please make sure that they feel comfortable enough to come to you with their questions as well. 

Prepare Yourself

In all honesty, accepting that your child is entering the adult world is not easy. As parents, we often continue seeing them as too vulnerable for the real world, and that’s why you will need to prepare yourself first if you wish to avoid confusing your teen even more. 

What are your personal values and beliefs about sex? What is that you want to share with your teen? Ask yourself about what you have learned from your first sexual experiences and which mistakes you would wish they avoid making. 

If this conversation is uncomfortable for you, make sure you are well prepared. Include in your conversation information about protections such as birth control and condoms, sexually transmitted diseases, and everything else that might be important for them. Think about this as the first step to building a mature relationship with your teen where you will start discussing topics you never have before. 

Start the Sex Talk First

It would be really good if you would be the one starting this conversation so you can dedicate your full attention to it. They might ask you some questions before you decide to sit with them and have the ‘big talk’, yet make sure you start it first as it will show you are open to discussing this topic and you’d love to hear your teen’s view on it. 

Make sure you have chosen a day where both you and your kid have enough time to dedicate to this conversation. When you’re ready, start the conversation casually and try to not make a big deal out of it. Remember, you should make this conversation as less uncomfortable for them as possible, and being stiff about it will not help at all. 

Guiding the Conversation

Your teen will probably have a few questions for you as well. Try to respond to them accurately and straightforward. For instance, if they ask for a proper age to start having sexual relations, try not to get too philosophical about it and provide them with facts and your personal opinion. Keep in mind that your child will form their own opinion about sex topics as they go through life, so it’s vital to give them all vital information before stepping into this world.

If you personally feel uncomfortable sharing some of your sexual experiences with your child, you can talk about it in the third person. If your teen asks a question you don’t know how to answer, be honest and invite them to look for that information together. 

Common Misconceptions Teens Have About Sex

When talking with your teenager, they will maybe share with you one or two of the common misconceptions teens have about sex. For instance, they might think that sex will make them appear adult. Be supportive and offer alternative ways that might show them as adults in their friends’ eyes. For instance, they can get a summer job or volunteer.

If they want to have sex just because all of their friends are already doing it, why not focus on things that make them unique and stand out from the crowd? Explain that not following blindly every step their friends make is a good thing and that they should start having sex when they feel the need, instead of when their friends are doing it. Also, make them aware that many lie about their sexual experiences and that on average, teens start having sex at 18.

If they are in a relationship and they want to feel closer to their partner, make sure you understand their motives behind it. Many teens will have sex just because of fear of losing that person. There are many ways to show you love someone, and sex is just one of them. If done because of the pressure, tell them that the sex experience will not be enjoyable at all and that it doesn’t imply that it will improve their relationship. 

Safe Sex

As a parent, it’s your job to inform your teen of sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy, and any other consequences having unprotected sex can have for them. You don’t have to be a sexual health expert to help your teen avoid these consequences, just talk to them about it and motivate them to learn about safe sex. Encourage reading Scarleteen online!

Make sure they know they have to use protection once they start having sexual relations. Talk to them about pregnancy and how it changes life for a young person, so they are aware of all the negative outcomes if they decide to practice unsafe sex even once. Also, make them aware they are not alone in this, their decisions on sex affect one more person and they should be responsible for them as well. 

Conclusion

Your child will find out about sex, one way or another. It’s best if you can be their source of information and help them shape their opinion on sex topics which will ensure they have a healthy sexual life later. Don’t assume they know something just because you do, they still need to be educated about sex from the start. Allow them to ask you whatever they need and always encourage them to start the sex talk whenever they feel the need. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.