High Functioning Depression

How to Recognize High Functioning Depression Symptoms?

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How to Recognize High Functioning Depression Symptoms?

 

Many high functioning depression symptoms are similar to symptoms resulting from major depression, yet differ in more ways. These symptoms might be changes in sleeping and eating habits, lower self-esteem, hopelessness, fatigue, problems with concentration, etc. For it to be a high functioning depressing, a person should experience these symptoms most days that also cause almost constant low mood, which is present for at least two years. 

Most people with high functioning depression function normally, and their family and friends often cannot see any signs that the person has this disorder. However, depression is something that a person will struggle with it internally. High functioning depression can be treated with therapy and medications, allowing individuals experiencing it to have a happy, fulfilling life. 

High Functioning Depression

If you haven’t heard about high functioning depression, you should know that it can have serious consequences if a person is not receiving adequate treatment. Another term for high functioning depression is a persistent depressive disorder. If a person has high functioning depression they will experience most symptoms of depression, yet less severely. 

This means that the person with high functioning depression will function normally, from going to work or school to keeping up with different types of responsibilities in their lives. They also might engage in a range of social activities, so nobody around them will suspect they might be struggling with any form of depression. More importantly, the person often will be unable to detect depression in themselves because they are easy-going, participating in social activities, and performing well in their work or education environment. 

The outside world most often will not be able to notice a person is struggling with high functioning depression or persistent depressive disorder. Compared to major depression, high functioning depression should still be diagnosed and treated. When living with high functioning depression, a person can struggle and have a lower life quality than usual, yet getting the help they need can help significantly. 

High Functioning Depression Symptoms 

High functioning depression is a mental health condition diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other licensed mental health professional. To be diagnosed with high functioning depression, certain criteria must be met, which are all gathered in a high functioning depression test. 

The first criteria relate to the person being depressed most of the time and for most of the day for at least two years. This depressed mood a person is experiencing must include two or more of the symptoms mentioned below:

  • Lack of appetite or overeating,
  • Sleeping issues such as insomnia or oversleeping,
  • Lack of energy and fatigue,
  • Decreased self-esteem,
  • Issues with concentration and making decisions,
  • Feeling sad and hopeless.

Along with these symptoms, a person must meet other criteria to be diagnosed with high-functioning depression. The symptoms that the person is experiencing must be present on most days for at least two years without the period of relief from depression lasting more than two months. Also, the person mustn’t have experienced a period of mania or hypomania before in their life.

Before diagnosing the client with PDD, the psychiatrist or other mental health professional must ensure that no other mental health disorder, medical condition, or substance abuse is causing these symptoms. Although most individuals with PDD function normally, there will need to be a link between the high functioning depression and the impairment in one or more life areas of the individual.

Most clients struggling with high functioning depression have reported feeling the following ways:

  • Feeling a little down most of the days and others might have noticed it and describe you as cynical, downer, or gloomy. 
  • Your low mood is always somewhere in the background if not fully present, and it feels like you will never feel great again. 
  • You feel tired almost constantly, even when you get enough sleep and eat well.
  • You or others will wonder whether it’s laziness, yet it’s challenging for you to summon the energy to do more than the basic activities. 
  • You don’t feel good about yourself and you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy or liked by others in your life because you’re not worth it. 
  • Your weight has changed without your intent because of a lack of appetite or overeating. 
  • You often feel hopeless and cry without a concrete, realistic reason.
  • You perform well whether at work or school, yet it’s a challenge to focus on all your tasks and requires additional effort. 
  • Most of the time, you are forcing yourself to engage in social activities although you would rather stay at home alone. 

Living with High Functioning Depression

If diagnosed with high functioning depression, a person can continue living their life as they want, however, they will need to receive treatment, whether it’s therapy, medications, or both. A person struggling with this type of depression cannot decide on their therapy alone; they need guidance from a mental health expert.

Once in therapy, the client will receive guidelines, methods, and helpful tips to manage how their high-functioning depression affects their life. As it is with all other mental health disorders, a person often needs months or years of treatment until they can function in a way that their depression is not affecting them anymore. However, even in the initial sessions, a person will be able to improve some aspects of their depression because they will receive personalized guidelines from their psychiatrist, psychologist, or any other mental health professional.

In Final Words

Like major depression, high functioning depression or persistent depressive disorder is a serious mental health condition that requires treatment. Whether it’s you or someone close to you experiencing high functioning depression symptoms, reaching out to a mental health professional is the best way to approach it. This will help the person in need to find adequate treatment and work on improving the quality of their life. 

Struggling with depression, whether it’s a major or high functioning one. Doesn’t allow you to have a happy life, and not addressing it can only lead to even worse conditions. Reaching out to someone you trust is the first step to recovery, don’t postpone it and react on time.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Relationship PTSD & How to Deal With It

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Relationship PTSD & How to Deal With It

 

Relationship PTSD or post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS) involves ways a person responds to being exposed to a traumatic event within their relationship and their intimate partner. Within relationships, all relational abuse types have shown to leave significant verbal, emotional/psychological, physical, or sexual consequences. 

What is Relationship PTSD?

Relationship PTSD is a subcategory of PTSD, where one person is causing PTSD and related emotional reactions in another person within their relationship. It mostly results from an abusive relationship, while not meeting all the diagnostic criteria to be diagnosed as PTSD, so experts in the field have started calling it post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS). 

So, Relationship PTSD and PTRS will be used interchangeably for the rest of this article. 

Therefore, PTRS will show some PTSD symptoms, yet it will often show more intense emotional reactions leading to negative social interactions. Most people will notice symptoms of PTRS once the relationship ends. 

During the relationship, what causes PTRS is the relational patterns and the relationship in general, instead of experiencing one or two traumatic events. A person who has PTRS will notice lower self-esteem, blame themselves for relational troubles, or feel more insecure than before starting the relationship. 

What PTSD and PTRS have in common is a belief that once one experiences a certain trauma, the world becomes an unsafe place for that person. 

PTRS Symptoms 

As said, relationship PTSD or PTRS might be difficult to recognize because the symptoms appear gradually over a long period of time instead of experiencing one traumatic event. PTRS symptoms can include various symptoms and signs, from a strong sense of feeling unsafe to be out of control or feeling shame or guilt. 

PTRS Intrusive Symptoms

Intrusive symptoms are related to experiencing the traumatic event again and again through:

  • Thoughts related to the trauma that appeared out of nowhere,
  • Flashbacks or having a strong feeling of re-experiencing the traumatic event through images, daydreams, or intrusive thoughts,
  • Nightmares or dreams involving the traumatic event or dreams where a person feels scared or exposed,
  • Experiencing extreme distress when reminded of the trauma by your intimate partner or anyone else,
  • Intensive emotional responses to typical, everyday situations. 

PTRS Arousal Symptoms

Arousal symptoms refer to the symptoms around the fear response such as:

  • Higher irritability with minimum or zero provocation,
  • Insomnia or having sleep problems, whether when falling or staying asleep,
  • Hypervigilance or being constantly alert when something reminds you of the trauma.

PTRS Relational Symptoms

Relational symptoms are the ones creating stress in other relationships such as: 

  • Having issues with trusting other people or socializing,
  • Loneliness or isolation,
  • Starting a new relationship quickly, 
  • Shame, guilt, or self-blame,
  • Sexual dysfunction or fear of being physically intimate with your new partner,
  • A strong feeling that the world is unsafe. 

What Causes Relationship PTSD?

The trauma that is causing relationship PTSD might be from any type of relational abuse, yet unlike traditional PTSD, it only occurs with your intimate partner rather than experiencing a traumatic event outside the context of your intimate relationship.

Most often, there is not just one event that caused PTRS, yet several incidents in an abusive relationship might lead to PTRS. There are many unhealthy relational patterns such as belittling, controlling, gaslighting or constantly criticizing the other person which are all signs of emotional abuse.

Unlike emotional, physical abuse is much more evident and it is often noticed by other people outside your relationship. Physical abuse refers to hitting, punching, or any attempt to purposely injure your intimate partner. In relationships, there is also a possibility of experiencing sexual abuse in a form of non-consensual sex or sexual coercion. 

What is important to keep in mind is that every person responds to traumatic events differently, especially within the context of an intimate relationship. Also, what is considered a traumatic exposure to one person might not affect someone else at all. This is why it is very important to be aware of how you feel in your relationship and how your partner is making you feel to understand if there is anything that might or is already causing PTRS. 

The Healing Process

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, you should suggest therapy. Healing is a long-term process if you’ve been in an abusive relationship and think you have PTRS. However, the first step to healing is talking about it with a professional who will guide you and help you learn techniques to overcome the traumatic relationship and be able to start a new, healthy one. 

Another thing you need to know is that you cannot accelerate the healing process. For instance, if you’ve been in an abusive relationship for years, it will take more than just a month to heal properly and be able to live your life as you did before the relationship started. Also, the type of abuse and the frequency of it happening in the relationship are important factors that will affect the healing process.

Because relationship PTSD affects different people differently, the healing process and everything about it can differ from one person to another. For instance, your therapist might use a different approach than your friend’s therapist who has also been in an abusive relationship. Besides being exposed to different types of abuse, someone’s personality type and previous experience will also have an impact on how someone is responding to traumatic exposure in their intimate relationship.

Conclusion

A relationship PTSD or post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS) happens when a person has been exposed to patterns of traumatic events or behaviors caused by their intimate partner. Symptoms and signs of PTRS are not noticeable immediately as they develop over time, and are not visible to the eye, except for physical abuse. 

If a person ends the abusive relationship and their intimate partner is no longer present in their lives, PTRS symptoms will continue and affect how this person interacts and connects with other people, especially within the romantic context. That is why it’s best to seek help in a form of a therapist who has enough experience with PTRS. Such therapists can help you heal from the relationship you had and help you start a new relationship when you’re ready without the baggage from the past

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Teen Therapy

Teen Therapy: What to Expect & Reasons to Go

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Teen Therapy: What to Expect & Reasons to Go

 

From school issues to mood swings, there are many reasons why young people will decide to undergo teen therapy. As teens encounter a range of never experienced problems at this stage of their life, seeking professional help seems like an efficient way to ease that burden and prepare them for adulthood.

We often forget that we can see therapists talk to them about our everyday situations. Not only when we’re facing a life-altering event or a serious mental health problem. Therapists can help strengthen young people by providing them with the tools they need to respond properly to challenges typical for this stage of life. They can also guide them towards their independence, as many teens often feel confused as they’re trying to abandon their identity of being a child and become familiar with what it means to be a young adult. 

Parents whose kids talk to therapists regularly notice that these teens are able to prevent minor issues from converting into bigger problems, with the help of their therapists, of course. If you’re considering teen therapy for your child, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional. In this article, you will find everything you can expect from such therapy and ways it can benefit one’s wellbeing. 

Why Teen Therapy

There are parents who feel that all challenges their children experience while growing up and normal and there is no need for seeking professional help. However, teen therapy surpasses those challenges and brings a completely new value to these young lives. It helps them to become young adults who know what they want and learn how to achieve their objectives more easily.

For instance, although a teen starts talking to a therapist because they were faced with a traumatic experience in their childhood. Talking to a therapist can help them make a range of choices that are unrelated to this event. They can be more certain of which universities they want and don’t want to enroll in. How they wish to spend their summer, how they communicate with their parents and other authoritative roles in their life when they disagree with something, etc. 

Most importantly, we all need to take care of our mental health. And that doesn’t start in our 30s or 40s. The sooner a person understands the importance of feeling good about themselves and their life, the easier it will be to navigate different situations and build a life that will make them feel fulfilled and happy. 

Common Teen Problems

Although there is no wrong reason to start with teen therapy, most teens and parents will decide to talk to a professional when certain teen problems occur. Mental health problems teens experience can be caused by a variety of different things. For example, teens experiencing mental conditions can result in thinking, feeling. Or acting strangely, which can affect how a person is dealing with challenges in their life. Another common problem in a young person’s life is violence. If something bad happened or they saw something bad happen, teens can develop a mental health problem, which then needs to be treated. 

Although parents sometimes forget, teens experience stress in different forms and ways while growing up. The first day in a new school, discussion with a best friend, or first break up – all these things cause stress and if not dealt with the right way, they can cause mental health problems. Any type of change in a young person’s life can be potentially stressful and if they are not dealing with them in a healthy way, the best thing is to seek professional help.

What to Expect in Teen Therapy

As a parent, you will probably be curious to learn what to expect from sending your child to a therapist for teens. First, you will need to find a therapist both you and your child trust. If your kid has agreed to talk to a professional, it is vital that they feel comfortable and motivated to talk to that person. Seek recommendations, yet take your child’s opinion as the most relevant determining factor. 

If your child agrees, you can be present at their first session to show support to your child and to evaluate how they feel around their therapist. In the rest of the sessions, your child will go in alone. It is incredibly valuable for them to have a space and time to talk about what bothers them and to have someone who will hear them out without only seeing them as a child. 

Therapy takes a while, yet a parent will notice changes in their child’s behavior real soon. For instance, if your kid was unhappy because they were uncomfortable talking to other kids at school, a good therapist will help them overcome these obstacles and find a way of socializing that suits them and doesn’t make them feel under pressure. 

That said, if your kid enjoys going to see their therapist and talking about things on their mind. Suggest continuing to go to therapy even after the certain problem is resolved. Your kid will benefit tremendously from having a professional guiding them in their adolescence and young life. From learning how to react in new situations to having a better relationship with you as a parent. 

In Final Words

As therapy is finally becoming widely talked about and accepted, many parents are suggesting their kids open up to a professional who will know how to advise them and guide them towards making better decisions for themselves. Therapists can help turn confused teens into strong. Fulfilled individuals who feel confident about themselves and know what they want in their lives and how to achieve it. 

Also, learning the value of conversation helps your kids understand that talking to others, including you as a parent. Can help them solve many of their problems. They are taught to be honest, aware of their emotions, and ways to communicate with others. These values will help them in many situations they encounter in life. From making new friends to progressing in their careers. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Your Ultimate Guide To LGBTQ Mental Health

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Your Ultimate Guide To LGBTQ Mental Health

 

LGBTQ mental health is something that needs more attention. Members of this community have been experiencing a range of mental health issues, from anxiety and self-harm to considering suicide. Both adolescents and adults are more likely to experience any of the mental issue symptoms than a person who is not a part of the LGBTQ community. 

Many alarming statistics on LGBTQ mental health have been published in the past few years, showing the urge to put a spotlight on this issue. Learning where and how to find adequate mental health services is crucial. Also, educating yourself about common issues and conditions, risk factors, symptoms, and everything else related to mental health can help anyone experiencing these issues. 

Common LGBTQ Mental Health Issues

There are several mental health issues the LGBTQ community needs to be aware of. Unfortunately, most of these issues stem from the discrimination and oppression LGBTQ people will experience throughout their lives. It is essential to distinguish that we are not talking here about mental health disorders, rather about mental health struggles a member of this community might face. 

It’s not uncommon for a person within the LGBTQIA2+ community to experience fear or shame that adds to their existing struggle with mental health. Other common LGBTQIA2+ mental health issues include:

  • Depression or depressive symptoms,
  • Anxiety,
  • Having suicidal thoughts or attempts.

Being more aware of these mental health issues helps the entire society to have a better idea of how to help and where to find adequate help a person needs. 

LGBTQ Mental Health Risk Factors 

Numerous risk factors can potentially affect those in the LGBTQ community. Psychologists agree that LGBTQ individuals are at higher risk of experiencing depression, anxiety, substance use disorder, unemployment, homelessness, and suicidality. Besides the coming out process, many other difficult situations can cause additional stress for a young person. 

Mental health outcomes for LGBTQ are poorer than for the heterosexual community. There is also always a chance of issues of bias in discrimination when in therapy. That is why finding an LGBTQ therapist who can offer valuable guidance, reassurance, and advice to help individuals navigate these situations without triggering anxiety is important.

Coming Out

Undoubtedly, there is an increase in social acceptance for the LGBTQ community, yet coming out is not a pleasant experience for most members. Those who live in unsupportive environments fear their social experiences after coming out contribute to negative mental health consequences. 

Trauma from Discrimination

Many LGBTQ young adults experience some form of discrimination during their life, whether homophobia, transphobia, LGBTQ bullying, or something else. These all discrimination types can contribute to identity-based shame, which causes trauma in LGBTQ individuals. They will experience feeling labeled, denied opportunities, verbal, mental, or physical abuse, etc. Sometimes, this trauma leads to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Rejection

Fearing rejection or being rejected after coming out is a painful experience. When fearing rejection or being rejected by a family member or a close friend, the impact of it can be traumatic and very difficult to heal from. There are many benefits from talking to an LGBTQ therapist who can help set boundaries and protect yourself from this fear or unpleasant experience. 

Homelessness

Although not so much talked about, there is a much higher chance to become homeless in a lifetime if you are an LGBTQ individual. Several struggles an LGBTQ person will face are contributing to this, such as family rejection, discrimination at work/school or home, and an increased chance of abuse. When a person is left alone or needs to protect themselves from their family or friends because of lack of acceptance, they are faced with complex life challenges that might result in homelessness. 

Substance Use or Abuse

Members of the LGBTQ community are more likely to use or abuse substances. As an LGBTQ adolescent or young adult might feel anxiety about their identity and how others will accept them, they are more likely to consider substance use than those identifying themselves as heterosexual. Oftentimes, a person with this experience will benefit from group or individual therapy to learn how to manage addiction, unravel the pain that might be under it, and learn healthier coping techniques. 

Why LGBTQ Therapy?

Inadequate mental health care is common for the LGBTQ community. The issue derives from the fact that many therapists will address their patient’s sexual orientation or gender identity along with the mental health issue and combine them into one large issue. Generalizing might prevent therapists from providing adequate mental health as not all LGBTQ patients have the same personality, issues, and coping mechanisms. 

An LGBTQ therapist will treat the individual by focusing on the particular challenges they are facing. Conditions they have experienced, and suggest a therapy based on that. For any therapy to be efficient, it needs to be based on the individual’s needs and goals.

Not to mention that other relevant factors like economic status, race, and various identity factors might have a strong impact on the type of care someone might receive. With therapy being incredibly beneficial. It is important to address these issues to ensure everyone finds the mental health care they need. 

In Final Words

Although there is much more acceptance in society. There is still much work to be done to make everyone in the LGBTQ community feel equally included. If you’re experiencing one of the symptoms or feelings we’ve mentioned in this article or know someone who does. We suggest searching for an LGBTQ therapist nearby. 

An LGBTQIA2+ therapist helps LGBTQIA2+ individuals share their experiences, talk about feelings and fears. And learn techniques that help them enjoy their life without anxiety, depression. Or any of the mentioned mental health issues.

Another beneficial way for an LGBTQIA2+ person experiencing mental health issues is to talk openly about how they feel. And what they need from the people around them. Whether this article is for you, a friend. Or a family member, conversation with those you care about is the first step to accepting yourself. And sharing an authentic version of yourself with those who matter to you.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Mental Health For Young People

Mental Health For Young People – Keep Your Independence During Summer Break

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Mental Health For Young People – Keep Your Independence During Summer Break

 

Finally, another college year is coming to an end, and you’re probably wondering about mental health for young people and how to keep your independence once summer break kicks and you’re back in your family home. Besides studying hard, you’ve become used to the idea of being responsible for your life, from attending classes to buying things you need, and the idea of being the ‘child’ in your home is something you wish to avoid, right? 

Instead of staying at college, your independence can follow you home if you determine what level of independence you are seeking and how you will communicate it to your family. Of course, if you wish to pause the responsibilities a bit and just relax from all the stress, long hours of studying, and everything else a college life symbolizes, that is perfectly reasonable for caretaking your mental health for young people. However, those who are interested in being independent during summer should continue reading as we’ll bring you useful tips to achieve it easily.

1. Define Your Independence

It might seem weird to you, yet independence can mean different things to different people. For instance, are you only looking to have your earnings and not have to explain to your parents what you spend your money on? Or, are you looking to live your entire life independently from your family, including cooking, doing your laundry, and participating in overall family costs? Once you know what your independence includes, it will be easier for you to achieve it and talk about it with your family members.

2. Set Your Independence Goals 

Are you looking to get a job in your hometown? Then you should start applying for jobs a month or two before your college years come to an end. Are you looking to spend more time outside your home? Then start looking for activities that will ensure you’re making the most of your free time. Are you looking to cook, clean, and do all chores at home on your own? Make sure you have everything you need to do it, from groceries to your preferred laundry detergent.

3. Organize Your Time

To be successful in your independence, you will need to organize your time properly. Whichever activities you are keen on implementing as a form of strengthening your feeling of independence, plan accordingly so you have enough time to finish them and also have enough time to relax and be with your family and friends. You can use the calendar on your phone to schedule these activities, whether it is a summer job or cooking your dinner. This will also give you a pretty good idea about how much time you have for other activities in your schedule and help you avoid feeling stressed or overwhelmed due to poor planning. 

4. Communicate Your Independence Decisions with Family and Friends

To truly be independent, people who are important in your life will need to be aware of your activities. This will help them understand you better, help you achieve your goals, and find a suitable time to spend with you. Also, you might even notice that it’s a bit challenging to be more independent than usual at home. So any support you can get can help you feel more fulfilled when achieving your goals. Your family and friends might even advise you on how to be more efficient while exploring your independence at home. Your parents might share with you quick dinner recipes so you don’t spend too much time in the kitchen. While your friends might help you manage your money more efficiently by sharing money-saving techniques that worked for them. 

5. Divide Your Goal into Milestones

The summer can be quite long when you have a goal to achieve by its end. To keep you on track and ensure you are working towards your goal, consider separating it into milestones. For instance, if your goal was to get a summer job, you can set a successful completion of the month as a milestone. This will provide you with a feeling of fulfillment each time you achieve your milestone instead of being focused on such a general goal. If your goal was to cook for yourself, why not cook a new dish every Friday dinner for the entire family? This way, your family will be able to participate in your independence journey and support you through it. 

6. Celebrate Your Independence

We’re often focused too much on setting and achieving our goals that once something is achieved. We just move to the next thing. As much as being self-driven and motivated in life is a quality, you need to enjoy the highlights of your life as well. This means celebrating your milestones, unexpected moments, obstacles being overcome, etc. Celebrate your first summer job salary by inviting your best friends for a drink and sharing memories from childhood while sipping on your favorite cocktail or mocktail. Celebrate preparing an exotic dish for the first time by sharing the recipe with your friends or inviting them over for a dinner. After all, if you feel good about your accomplishments. You will be more eager to go towards your goals rather than being intimidated by them. 

In Final Words

Being independent is incredibly valuable for every young adult who is stepping out of their comfort zone of being always taken care of and stepping into the role of the person who depends on themself. Mental health for young people does matter! Therefore, regardless of what independence means for you at this point, keep in mind that this can change over time. To be honest, this summer if you focus on your mental health, then next one you can focus on a summer job. 

Whatever your goal is, make sure that working on achieving it makes you feel good about yourself. College is stressful on its own and you should use the summer months to recover, sleep enough, laugh, and have fun. There is nothing wrong with that, so make sure that your definition of independence is aligned with what you actually need.  

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

body shame

Body Shame: Body Image Can Affect a Person’s Health

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Body Shame: Body Image Can Affect a Person’s Health

 

Loving your body is easier said than done, body shame and body image can affect a person’s health. When there is body shame around us, our body image is more and more affected. Body shame can come from traditional media, social media, society, and often – those around us. We are constantly being told how we should look and what to strive for.

If you step outside, how many different body types can you count in 30 minutes? Probably dozens, yet we are being told one body image is the one to strive to and then, body image concerns can start to affect a person’s health. 

People have used their appearance to get someone’s approval since the dawn of time. Was it to find the spouse who will fall in love with us or to be chosen for a physical job because of our strong body? Humans have been judged based on appearance for years. Fast-forwarding to today and we’ll notice that these reasons are still stuck with most of us. Even if you try to forget about your body image, society will remind you of it. 

Why are we body shaming? How can someone who hates their body image get over it? Is it possible? 

To find the answers to these questions, we’ve decided to dig deeper and seek the real reasons why there is so much body shaming around us that does affect a person’s health. 

 

The Beginning of Body Shame

The first examples of body shaming can be seen already in the first years of education. Children need approval from their parents and other authorities they admire to feel good about themselves. More importantly, they learn by observing society. This means that even if a child was raised in a household where nobody made them feel unworthy, whether because of their appearance or something else, they might learn it from a relative or the way their parent treats itself.

Children that were teased and bullied due to the way they look will feel their sense of safety is affected. They might wrongly assume that changing something about them to get approval from others will make them feel more loved and safe. Feeling you are not worthy of love is a feeling that will hardly go away on its own, and it often involves years of therapy until the person accepts themselves completely, including the way they look.

 

Change Comes from Within

Having body-shaming experiences in early childhood can have serious consequences for a child that later might affect how they feel about themselves. Being conscious about your body often leads to low self-esteem, which prevents individuals from having quality relationships with other people in their lives. Thinking that shame around their body is not allowing them to connect with others, a victim of body shaming will think their body needs to change to have that connection. 

The shame around your body will indeed go away once something changes, yet it’s not external changes we are talking about. Learning to love yourself and your body is incredibly important for one’s well being. Then, you will be able to make decisions beneficial for yourself instead of changing your appearance in seek of approval. 

 

How To Get Over Body-Shaming

If you ever had shameful feelings about your body, you know how deeply it can affect how you feel about everything in your life. Luckily, there are many steps you can take to start the healing and acceptance process. 

Filter Social Media Content

There is so much content on social media platforms, and not all of it is good for you. Surround yourself with positive messages, body acceptance, and self-love on each of the social media platforms you use. Find influential body-positive people who also share their struggles openly with their audience. This will make you feel like you’re not alone and you will also be able to connect with other people who are on their journey of learning to love themselves. 

 

Believing in Loving Your Body

It might be too optimistic for those starting to overcome body shaming to expect to unconditionally accept your body right away. Getting over feelings of shame is a process that takes time, and you will need to be patient and dedicated to your goal. Instead of expecting too much, start with smaller actions. You might notice you feel better if you walk an hour in the evening, start meditating, dance in your underwear, or do something else. These activities will make you feel better and remind you why it’s so important to accept yourself and just be happy. 

 

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

Have you always been adding an extra layer of clothes that nobody notices your body? Have you maybe been afraid to speak in front of a group of people because you didn’t want their attention? All these things affect how you feel about yourself. Changing them is not easy, yet you can start small. Try to speak more when you’re with your friends even if you don’t feel like it at first. When dressing for any occasion, try not to completely cover your body with layers of clothes or consider adding a few accessories that will give you a boost of confidence. 

 

Getting To Know Your Inner-Bully

To heal from body shaming, you will need to focus on your inner-bully and hear them out. Instead of ignoring that little voice telling you you’re not pretty/skinny/tall/sexy enough, try to give it space and time. For instance, when you’re dressing for work next time that thought appears, give it a moment. Let it express itself. Then, you will slowly become aware that this voice is just one tiny part of you, not your entire self. These thoughts are just one part of you and they are not more powerful than you trying to heal and become a fulfilled person.

 

Conclusion

It is not a bad thing to seek approval, yet it shouldn’t be your main motivator in life. We all like compliments and seeing our loved ones admiring us. However, this is just one factor among many of them, and it should not be more important than how you feel about your body. 

Your body will always belong to you. This means you are responsible for treating it right, give yourself compliments, and move it in ways that feel positive. Instead of chasing that “perfect” body image from social media, try to feel perfect in the body you already have. Body image can affect a person’s health, and these are some ways that you can resolve it. Learn more about it from our video as well! 

Check Out All Our Additional Therapy Video

Positive Body Image: Learn to Love Your Look

Self Sabotage

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sexual Anxiety

How To Deal With Sexual Anxiety

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How To Deal With Sexual Anxiety

 

Whether you’re in a committed relationship or dating, sexual anxiety is something that will affect your romantic connections and more importantly, how you feel about your sexuality. Luckily, once recognized, you will be able to work on it and find ways to enjoy your sexual life despite it. With adequate therapy, many individuals can maintain healthy sexual relationships and enjoy the process of treating their sexual anxiety instead of feeling like it’s part of them that makes them feel hopeless.

So, before we tackle the ways to deal with it, let’s take a look at what sexual anxiety is and what causes it to understand better how to cope with it in your everyday life. 

Sexual Anxiety

Also known as sexual performance anxiety, sexual anxiety can be caused by a range of negative experiences from the past, stress, or any other factor. Sexual anxiety is expressed by feeling extreme anxiety which often then results in sexual avoidance. As it is with other types of anxiety, communication is crucial to detect it, treat it and have a functional sexual relationship. 

Besides helping your partner understand what you’re coping with, communication about your sexual anxiety will also help you find the cause of it and help you build a fulfilling romantic life. 

Coping with Sexual Anxiety

With having all of that in mind, how can you know if you or someone close to you is coping with sexual anxiety? As it is with other anxiety types, it might be challenging to detect if you’re dealing with sexual anxiety or something else is happening, including stressful life events. As such events can easily trigger emotions that also occur when someone is coping with sexual anxiety, it requires a bit more detail-oriented approach and long-term awareness. 

Start paying attention to moments when your mood changes. Is your sexual anxiety a result of your partner initiating any form of physical contact? Does it happen each time you’re anticipating a sexual activity to happen? If this is quite similar to what you’re experiencing, it might be that you’re having anxiety around sex. 

Reasons Behind Sexual Anxiety

There are numerous reasons why a person might struggle with sexual anxiety, and sometimes there is only one reason behind it, and sometimes there are more of them. Most of the time, a person will not be able to make the connection between the cause and sexual anxiety there are experiencing, so it’s highly recommended to reach out to a therapist that treats sexual anxiety.

These are some of the most common reasons for a person experiencing sexual anxiety:

  • Body image issues: If a person is uncomfortable with certain aspects of their body, it will be challenging to feel confident without clothes in front of their sexual partners.
  • Sexual dysfunction: Coping with erectile dysfunction or low libido can be hard for both partners in the relationship as finding solutions is not as easy as it seems.
  • Sexual abuse: If a person experienced sexual abuse in their life, it might be difficult for them to think about sex healthily.
  • Relationship issues: If a person is in a relationship where both parts fight or argue a lot, it will be hard to maintain intimacy when it comes to sex.
  • Fear of intimacy: If a person is struggling to trust others, it will be challenging to surrender and enjoy their sexual experiences. 
  • Compatibility: If a person is not attracted to their partner, it will lower significantly their desire to have sex and lead to anxiety when thinking about it. 

Understanding Triggers

Now that you understand potential reasons why someone might be dealing with sexual anxiety, it’s vital to identify triggers. If a person has experienced sexual trauma in the past, feeling safe and in control of the situation might be critically important. These past traumas can lead to triggers such as a stressful day at work. You will need to be really attentive when identifying what type of experience is being carried over into the intimacy between you and your partner. 

Once you identify these moments when you have a shift in your mood or thoughts, you should document it in some way. Being aware that, for instance, a meeting that didn’t go well changed how you feel about the entire day, might help you connect this experience to your sexual anxiety. 

Also, your sexual anxiety might come directly from the person you share these intimate moments with – your partner. If they are saying or doing something that is affecting how you feel about sex, you should communicate this to them. Yet, before doing that, make sure you’re starting the conversation without accusing them and instead try to inform them of what you would prefer instead. 

Coping With It The Right Way

After you’ve identified your triggers, you will need to dig even deeper. Understanding why these triggers exist in the first place and when did they start will help you cope with sexual anxiety the right way. Simply put, until you’re aware of your triggers, they are the ones who control you. Once you become aware of them and learn how to deal with them, you will take away their power. 

If you decide to start therapy to cope with sexual anxiety or wish to approach it differently, it is advised to inform your partner so they can provide you with the support you need. Also, sharing something this intimate with them might help you connect and set a quality foundation for your relationship. 

Be honest with them throughout the entire process. The more transparent you are about your feelings and thoughts, the easier it will be to go through them. Luckily, sexual anxiety is something you will be able to treat successfully and start building a healthy sexual relationship with your partner once you’ve completed the treatment process. 

Keep in mind that your partner can often provide good ideas for you to cope with sexual anxiety too, especially if you’re in a long, committed relationship. Someone who knows you well might see these triggers before you and offer you a different perspective. So, make sure you get the support you need to enjoy all the sexual experiences you wish to have in your life!

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Setting Goals For The New Year

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Setting Goals For The New Year

 

As we’re saying goodbye to the year that’s already behind us, it’s always a good time for setting goals for the new year as well. It’s another opportunity to start over, dedicate your attention to things you wish to achieve or change. Whether you want to get rid of a bad habit or introduce a healthy routine in your life, having an entire year in front of you is sometimes all the motivation you need. 

In this blog, we’ve gathered useful tips for setting goals for the new year and ways to achieve those goals. Prepare a pen and paper, or for those who prefer everything digitized, open a new google document and simply follow our suggestions! 

New Year Exercise

If you’re passionate about setting new goals, whether they’re personal or professional, you’ve probably done some exercise on your own, however, this one combines all of your goals for the upcoming year, while also looking back at the year that’s behind us. You can do this exercise alone, with your partner, your best friend, or anybody else you wish to share it with.

What did I Accomplish in 2021?

Start thinking about your proudest moments in the past year. Maybe you’ve learned a new language, made a new friend, started going to the gym regularly, began to eat more healthily, or something completely else. This exercise is about you, so whatever you think it’s relevant to celebrate from 2021, point it out. To create more order in the way you’ll approach thinking in retrospect, make sure you separate your personal goals from your professional goals. 

Examples: 

  • I reconnected with an old friend from high school and had a great time with them.
  • Stopped drinking unhealthy beverages and replaced them with freshly squeezed juices.
  • I successfully completed a long project and everyone congratulated me on it.
  • Advocated for my boundaries and that helped improve my life quality.
  • I discovered a cafe shop in my neighborhood and I often go there to read books or work on my computer.
  • This year, I expanded my knowledge in speaking Italian (or insert any subject you desire).

What did I WANT to Accomplish yet didn’t in 2021?

When asking yourself this question, it’s important to approach it with a clear mind. 

Forget “I should have done this…” type of language. 

Instead, recognize that you are envisioning it in the next year. The point is that you are recommitting to smaller steps to help achieve success. 

Try to eliminate blaming and shaming thoughts that might arise when answering this question. The point is that you are going to recommit to what is still important to you. After all, if you care about it one year later, you have plenty of motivation to break it into steps in the next year! 

Examples: 

  • I didn’t manage to go to bed before midnight and have more quality sleep.
  • Wanted to cook more at home yet I mostly ordered in or went to a restaurant.
  • I tried spending more time with friends, however, I had too many work obligations. 

  • I wanted to learn how to use a new tool that would make my work easier and didn’t do it in the end.
  • Tried arriving at work on time, yet somehow I was late more often than I am comfortable with.

COUPLES EDITION: 

What did We ACCOMPLISH in the Relationship in 2021?

This part can be done alone or with your partner. If you’re going through this exercise with your partner, make sure that both of you have the space to voice your answers without affecting each other’s responses or getting off track. 

When thinking about these accomplishments, you will need to think about those areas of your relationships you managed to improve in some way. Whatever you feel was an accomplishment in your relationship, celebrate it with your partner.

Couple Examples:

  • We managed to spend more time together and try out new activities.
  • Improved our intimacy by hugging more and having sex. 
  • We started going to couple therapy and successfully resolved many issues from before. 

What did We ACCOMPLISH in the Relationship in 2021?

Like your personal desired accomplishments, approach this question without any resentment or frustration. What were the important things for you both at the beginning of 2021, yet you couldn’t do them? If they still seem relevant to you, make sure you talk about them as it might give you a better idea of how to accomplish them. 

Couple Examples:

  • We tried to do more outdoor activities, yet we spent too much time watching TV.
  • Wanted to cook dinners together, and often ended up ordering take out because we were too tired. 
  • We wanted to have deeper and more intimate conversations, yet we spent more time talking about our complaints and household obligations.  

New Vision & Recommitment

Here, you will need to think about what you wish to celebrate by the end of 2022. Think about the things that matter to you personally and your relationship. What do you wish to start implementing in your everyday life? What are the things or habits you wish to say goodbye to? 

The great thing about doing this exercise with your partner or your friend is they will motivate you throughout the year as they will be aware of your new year goals. Also, you can invite them to hold you accountable. For instance, if you want to spend more time with your friends, your best friend or partner can encourage you to do so by reminding you of your goals. 

When talking about committing to something, think about how you will hold yourself accountable? Having the help of others is great, yet if not doing your best, it will be hard to achieve any goal you want to set for the new year. 

There are plenty of ways you can make sure your 2022 will align with your goals:

  • If you wish to be more active, pay an annual membership instead of monthly.
  • Also if you wish to spend more time with friends, book the times in your calendar and share them with your friends. 
  • If you want to be more proactive at work, talk with your colleagues and find a way that will help you to deliver more.

Whatever it is, think about the easiest way to achieve your goals. If you think about ways to do something, it will be easier to achieve it than just focusing on goals. Please think big; you can do anything you set your mind to. 

Happy new beginnings!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Psychological Dependence

Psychological Dependence: Definition & How To Deal With It

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Psychological Dependence: Definition & How To Deal With It

 

Each psychological and emotional process has a physiological basis. And every behavior that is not simply reflex action has a vital emotional and psychological component. Therefore, thinking of mind and body as two separated entities leads to unrealistic and incorrect ways of looking at any behavior type. It is mostly seen in cases of substance use disorders and process additions. 

For instance, claiming that “gambling addiction is not a choice’’ is equally wrong as claiming it is a choice. Human beings are too complex to say their behavior is “entirely physical” or “entirely psychological”. To truly understand how addictive behavior develops, both physical and psychological dependence will need to be considered. 

Psychological Dependence Definition

Psychological dependence is a term used to describe the emotional and mental processes associated with development. And recovery from a substance use disorder or process addiction. It must be viewed as a combination of emotions and cognitions, as they intertwine in their existence. 

When talking about psychological dependence, most cases refer to the cognitive and emotional aspects of addictive behaviors or withdrawing from drug or alcohol use. This is quite different from attempting to classify certain substances or activities as addictive either in a physiological or physical way. 

Psychological Dependence Symptoms

There are several symptoms associated with the psychological components of any type of addictive behavior (psychological dependence). Not every person will have all of these symptoms and some of them will be expressing them mildly, while others more than that. People with psychological dependence will often have cravings, mostly food-related ones. Also, they might have anxiety issues that occur each time someone tries to stop their addictive behavior. Instead of anxiety, a person can have depression issues when not being able to proceed with their addictive behavior due to someone or something. 

They might also struggle with sleeping well as their sleep often is disrupted when trying to stop consuming the substance or it’s not available to a person. When not consuming or trying to quit their addiction, whichever it might be, they will probably feel irritability and restlessness. A wide variety of moods might happen each time a person is not able to use their substance of choice or is trying to quit. These mood swings are usually quite obvious externally, too. 

Besides how they feel, their behavior will change significantly as well. For instance, they will have issues with concentration, memory, problem-solving, and judgment in general. When talking about physical dependence, symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, seizures, diarrhea, hallucinations are quite common. 

Substances In Psychological Dependence

It’s considered that all substances of abuse are associated with both psychological and physical aspects of dependence. Yet, numerous sources are separating the aspects related to the development of a substance use disorder and withdrawing from it into substances associated with withdrawal symptoms which are psychological. Usually, they include: 

  • Most stimulants, which include cocaine and Ritalin
  • Most hallucinogenic drugs (e.g. LSD)
  • Cannabis products
  • Numerous inhalant products
  • Numerous psychotropic medications (e.g. antidepressant medications)

When talking about substances relate to the development of strong physical dependence usually include:

  • Alcohol
  • Opiate drugs – heroin, morphine, Vicodin, etc.
  • Benzodiazepines – Xanax, Valium, Ativan, etc.
  • Barbiturates – Seconal and phenobarbital.

Psychological Dependence Treatment 

The use of drugs that are considered to lead to physical dependence, such as alcohol, barbiturates. And benzodiazepines, can lead to the development of potentially fatal seizures. Yet, this generally doesn’t occur with withdrawal from opiate drugs, which are considered to be very physically addicting. 

Individuals with a substance use disorder will need to be strictly monitored by a physician or psychiatrist specialized in addiction medicine during their recovery. Such level of care and caution is required to be able to identify and potential seizure activity and if it occurs, act on time and help the individual. When treating any substance use disorder, the initial program of physician-assisted withdrawal management is essential for recovery. 

This type of approach is recommended because initial recovery from any substance of abuse can be intertwined with emotional and physical distress that might lead to dangerous scenarios for the person. Examples of such dangerous scenarios are overdosing during a relapsed, being involved in accidents, or trying to commit suicide. 

When compared to those with physical addition or physical dependence, individuals with psychological dependence will not have much difference in the overall plan of recovery. It will be required that they are thoroughly assessed, guided by a physician. And treat for any issues that might appear as a consequence of their substance use. Also, they are often involved in substance use disorder therapy, which is crucial for their recovery. 

Most of the time, they will also get involved in social support groups or seek support from their family and friends. Understanding how challenging and frustrating at the time the recovery process can be. A strong support system is essential to recover.

Conclusion

Without a doubt, psychological dependence is associated with various emotional and cognitive symptoms. By separating physical dependence from psychological dependence, enormous damage is done in understanding this condition and, more importantly, in treating it. Treatment of any substance use disorder must be seen as with both emotional and cognitive symptoms.  

While psychological dependence is definitely associated with both emotional and cognitive symptoms. Physical dependence is usually associated with tolerance development and withdrawal symptoms that are not emotional nor cognitive. 

To understand addictive behavior means to accept the interplay of both emotional and cognitive mechanisms. Any treatment that aims to help a person recover from substance use disorder should be holistic in nature and consider all possible treatment options that lead to recovery. And, although the recovery plan might be long, frustrating. And scary, many individuals have successfully recovered from psychological dependence and are now enjoying their lives with their loved ones.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Teen Counseling

Teen Counseling: What Every Parent Should Know

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Teen Counseling: What Every Parent Should Know

 

If you’re a parent of a teenager or have one in your family, you know that it can be quite challenging. And seeking teen counseling arises as a natural suggestion to help the person struggling. 

Besides undergoing numerous changes physically, emotionally, and psychologically, this young person will also go through identity formation. All of these areas might be really difficult for an individual and they might lead to different forms of pressure, while experiencing social pressure, bullying, or even questioning their gender or sexual identity as they start their first valuable relationships with other people.

Another factor that needs to be taken into consideration in today’s culture is social comparison and lower self-esteem due to the prevalence of social media. There’s no question about it, being a teenager in our modern world is quite stressful and understanding all the benefits from teen counseling as they are navigating these challenges. 

Why Do Teens Need Counseling?

It’s quite crucial to memorize that teens, although they are becoming adults, are still children. The brain is in the process of fully forming, yet they are still not able to make mature decisions or handle mature situations the same way adults can. Also, understanding their bodies are changing and all the side effects of budding hormones. All of this can tip teenagers over the edge, even if an adult doesn’t realize how stressful it might be for the teenager. 

What’s making things even worse, today’s teenagers are not spending the same amount of time with their families as 10 or 20 years ago as today’s parents work long hours. However, family time is crucial in keeping stress levels low, so the lack of family time will be just another factor why it’s so beneficial for a teenager to seek counseling. 

Once a teenager reaches the point where they are not able to effectively handle school, social situations, or family stress, counseling can help them tremendously in learning how to cope with it all. Parents will typically consider this option once they notice that their teenager is struggling with one of the mentioned areas. Yet the smarter decision would be to send your teenager to talk to a professional before they reach that level of stress. 

Deciding that a teenager should go to therapy will benefit them in numerous ways. Especially as they will be able to talk about their current struggles and even past events that are troubling them. 

What Can Parents Expect From Teen Counseling?

As a parent, you should know what you and your teenager can expect from teen counseling. Once your teenager begins counseling, it might surprise you that parents are typically not invited to attend. All you can do is drive your teen to the doors and wait for his counseling to finish. Another thing to keep in mind is that the counselor cannot share information on these sessions due to therapist-client confidentiality. What a counselor can do is to provide you with more general information regarding progress and diagnosis. If you don’t feel supportive about this, be aware that your teenager needs a safe place to express their thoughts and emotions without fearing consequences. And if you know even one thing about teens, that would be that they value their privacy and want to have more autonomy from their parents.  

Types of Teen Therapy

The type of counseling will usually depend on the precipitating problem. For instance, you teenager will maybe start teen counseling because they are struggling with studying and their grades. So the counselor will start from there and gradually, dive deeper. The reason for that is that establishing trust and getting to know each other is crucial for success in therapy. 

The initial intake session, however, might include parents as well, yet from the next session. The therapist will spend only on getting to know the teenager and helping them learn useful tools to make their lives easier. As a parent, you will need to accept you’re not in control over the process and have faith in it. Just because it seems to you that the therapist is taking the wrong approach doesn’t mean you’re right. After all, you are not sitting in those sessions and you’re not the patient. 

What A Therapist Needs To Report?

As mentioned above, all the information your teenager decided to share with the counselor is considered confidential. Except anything the counsel will be legally mandated to report. The examples would be the intent to harm themselves or someone else, sexual or physical abuse, and suicidal thoughts. So, if your teenager is experiencing serious issues, you can be sure they will receive the help they need and you as a parent will be informed about it. 

When it comes to everything else, teenagers will be able to discuss any concerns they have without the fear that they will be shared with their parents or someone else. 

Preparing Teens For Counseling

Don’t feel discouraged if the first time you talk to your teenager about the therapy they feel resistant. It’s quite normal, so try to understand their point of view as well. To help you get your teenager to become more open about teen counseling, consider these helpful tools: 

They Should Lead

If you think your teenager would benefit from therapy, try starting a conversation on their thoughts about therapy. Inform them about the process and tell them you think it would be great for them to talk to someone who is not their parents. And will provide them with useful tips on how to deal with some situations in their lives.

Offering Incentives

There are plenty of ways to motivate your teenager to go to a counselor if the conversation didn’t produce results. And one of them is offering a reward. For instance, you can tell them that if they attend just one session. You will buy the concert tickets to see their favorite band or their favorite sports team. 

Including Them in the Process

If you’re thinking about teen counseling, you should also consider including your teenager in the process of choosing a therapist. And allow them to decide when they would like to schedule their appointments. They will more likely think that therapy is a good idea if they are a part of the decision-making process. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Bipolar Symptoms

Bipolar Symptoms: How To Notice Them On Time

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Bipolar Symptoms: How To Notice Them On Time

 

You probably think you know all about bipolar disorder, yet the majority of us are unable to notice bipolar symptoms when they start occurring to us or our close ones. This mental illness involves extreme mood changes from high to low and vice versa. With high mood being the period of mania, and low ones being the periods of depression, these changes often are mixed and too challenging to be controlled by the person going through these episodes. 

A person with bipolar disorder might feel ecstatic and depressed at the same time or these two moods can interchange. As there are more than five million people diagnosed with bipolar disorder only in the USA, it’s crucial to learn more about this mental illness, understand its symptoms so you can provide support to those who need it on time. 

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness that causes changes of moods between highs (mania) and lows (depression). The illness usually appears in the late teens or early adult years, yet it’s not uncommon to see it in children as well. When comparing, women are more likely to have bipolar diagnoses than men.

As it is with many mental illnesses, bipolar disorder is often difficult to diagnose, so it’s important to understand the symptoms that are occurring to provide adequate treatment on time. 

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

The bipolar signs and symptoms can vary from one person to another. Not to mention that many symptoms can appear due to other conditions, which only makes it more difficult to diagnose someone with bipolar disorder.

When talking about bipolar symptoms, they are usually divided into two categories – symptoms for mania and symptoms for depression.

Mania Symptoms

Mania can cause other symptoms in a person as well, yet there are several key symptoms of this bipolar disorder phase:

  • feeling overly happy or being in a ‘’high’’ mood for a long time
  • losing the need for sleep
  • talking very fast and having fast thoughts 
  • feeling restless and/or impulsive
  • feeling overly confident in your abilities
  • becoming easily distracted 
  • engaging in any form of risky behavior (e.g. impulsive sex, gambling)

Depression Symptoms

Just like mania, depression can cause another set of symptoms in a person. These are the key depression symptoms to look for in a person:

  • feeling sad and/or hopeless for a long time
  • isolating yourself from friends and family
  • feeling exhausted or without energy
  • considering or attempting suicide

Types of Bipolar Disorder

Overall, they are four types of bipolar disorder, yet only two of them are most commonly diagnosed. Bipolar I is the classic form of bipolar disorder which was previously called ‘’manic depression’’. This form of bipolar disorder has really clear and noticeable manic phases. The behavior and mood changes of a person are extreme, and it’s followed by the behavior they are unable to control. 

To be diagnosed with bipolar I, a person will need to have manic episodes. For an event to be defined as a manic episode, it needs to: 

  • include mood or behavior changes that are unlike that person
  • be present the majority of the day, and almost every day 
  • last at least one week or be so extreme that hospital care is required 

Those who are diagnosed with bipolar I will usually also have depressive episodes, yet they are required for the diagnosis of bipolar I.

The second most commonly diagnosed type of bipolar disorder is bipolar II. It’s considered even more common than bipolar I. This type involves depressive symptoms, yet its manic signs are less severe, so they are called hypomanic symptoms. Hypomania typically gets worse if the person doesn’t receive treatment which can lead to severe mania or depression. 

With both of these types, the support of friends and love ones will be of tremendous value as most of the time, a person with bipolar symptoms is unaware of it. Usually, they are not the ones who seek professional help on their own, so it’s vital to have a good support system. 

Rare Bipolar Types

As bipolar I and II are the most common types of bipolar disorder, we will need to mention the other two types of this mental illness. One of them is cyclothymic disorder which also involves mood changes, yet these changes will be less dramatic in nature. A person who was diagnosed with cyclothymic disorder can function without their medication, yet it’s not easy for them. More importantly, without proper treatment, this diagnosis may develop into bipolar I or II. 

Bipolar disorder not otherwise specified involves a person that only has some of the mentioned bipolar symptoms. However, these symptoms are not enough to be diagnosed with one of the three bipolar types.

Being Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder

If a person doesn’t have severe mania, bipolar symptoms might be difficult to spot. A person with hypomania might feel more energized or more confident than usual. As we all tend to experience these feelings, it’s difficult to diagnose a person with a mental disease. Not to mention that a person will rarely complain about being more confident at work or having more energy and being physically active, for instance. 

People will more likely seek help if they feel depressed, and that might take away your doctor’s focus from the manic side of the illness. Yet, once your doctor has given you a diagnosis, they will decide on what’s the best treatment program for you. Some of the most common bipolar disorder treatments include: 

  • medication
  • behavioral therapy
  • electroconvulsive therapy
  • substance abuse treatment 

Seeking Help 

If you are suspecting that you or someone close to you might have bipolar disorder, the best advice is to talk to a professional. Only a trained medical professional will be able to diagnose bipolar disorder and prescribe proper treatment. Any of the treatment options a person will be given can tremendously help to get all of the symptoms under control and live a fulfilled, happy life. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

High Functioning Depression

High Functioning Depression: Everything You Need To Know About It

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High Functioning Depression: Everything You Need To Know About It

 

High-functioning depression is in many ways similar to major depression, but the signs and symptoms are less severe. Some of the most common signs a person can notice would be changes in sleeping and eating habits. Fatigue, lower self-esteem, and lack of concentration and hope. These symptoms will be present on the majority of days, causing a low mood that can last two years or even more. People who are struggling with high-functioning depression usually don’t show it externally so it’s not that easy to detect it.

Luckily, those who are dealing with this type of depression can go under treatment, which consists of medications and therapy, and it can be treated successfully. Another term that science is using to refer to high functioning depression is persistent depressive disorder (PDD). Here is everything you need to know about it. 

Definition of high functioning depression

Many mental disorders can make it difficult for a person to function as others do. Actually, it’s one of the most important diagnostic criteria for many mental illnesses. Such impairment implies that a person is not able to function fully in one or more areas of their life due to a certain mental health condition. For instance, they are not able to perform successfully at their job for long, or they are not able to ace their exam although they studied so hard for it. High functioning depression can also affect your personal life. So someone with high functioning depression will not be able to manage healthy relationships and will also avoid social activities, to name just a few examples. 

The people struggling with this form of depression will be able to function normally most of the time, yet they will experience most of the depression symptoms. That’s why it’s called persistent depressive disorder (PDD). 

High functioning depression symptoms

If you or someone in your life suspects of having a high functioning depression, or persistent depressive disorder, it’s best to reach out to a psychiatrist or any other mental health professional. High functioning depression should be diagnosed in order to be treated, and certain criteria need to be met for a diagnosis. When going through them, you will notice they are very similar to symptoms used to diagnose major depression. However, with high functioning depression, they are less severe. 

The first criteria are that the person is experiencing a depressed, low mood most of their days for at least two years. Also, this depressed mood should be present for most of the day. And it includes two of these symptoms below or more: 

  • Weak appetite or overeating
  • Insomnia or oversleeping
  • Lack of energy and fatigue
  • Lack of self-esteem
  • Concentration difficulties and struggling to make decisions
  • The feeling of sadness and hopelessness

Besides these symptoms, a psychiatrist or another mental health professional will also check other criteria that need to be met to diagnose a PDD. These are: 

  • The person has never experienced mania or hypomania, which is what unusual euphoric and energetic moods are called.
  • There is no better way to explain the depression symptoms by another mental illness, medical condition or substance abuse. 
  • The symptoms a person has in their depressed mood have to cause some impairment in at least one area of the person’s life, including significant distress.
  • A person with PDD as a diagnosis might also meet the criteria for major depression.

Do you have high functioning depression?

As it will be difficult to respond to these questions with the help of a professional, There are other moments you might recognize in your life that might indicate you have a high functioning depression. While going through this list, if the majority of these things sound close to you, you should consider seeking adequate treatment and support. 

  • Most of the time, you feel down or depressed. Your friends and family notice it as well and they have pointed it out to you several times already.
  • When you are feeling happy, these moments usually don’t last long and you go back to your low mood. 
  • You also feel tired most of the time, although you get enough sleep and are not sleep deprived in any way.
  • When talking about energy, most of the time you feel like you lack it and that’s preventing you from even doing the things you want to do.
  • You don’t feel good about yourself. Also, you feel as if you don’t deserve happiness or are unworthy of connecting with others.
  • Your weight is changing without your willingness to change it; it’s simply a result of having no appetite or overeating.
  • You might also lack hope or you will need to cry a lot without a real, concrete reason. 
  • Your performance at school or work might be really good. Yet you are facing difficulties when it comes to concentration and focus.  
  • You need to force yourself to participate in social activities because you don’t feel the actual need of going. 

Coping with depressive episodes

When talking about high functioning depression, there are many coping mechanisms. One of the most recommended techniques is journaling. Once you start writing your feelings and thoughts onto a piece of paper or in a document on your computer. You will feel like you can manage them with more ease. This, of course, doesn’t imply that just by journaling you can achieve improvement, yet it’s a good way of documenting how you feel every day and not having to have all these emotions and thoughts bottled up inside. 

Another great coping mechanism is exercising. Besides being a great, healthy activity, exercising can also make you feel more relaxed, energized and satisfied. With a wide variety of activities, you can choose whichever one you prefer – yoga, pilates, jogging, cardio, kickbox, swimming, hiking, etc. 

For those looking for more indoor activities, the perfect option is cooking. We often overlook all the positive sides of a cooking process and skip to conversations about the importance of good nutrition, yet cooking is such a valuable activity for everyone. The feeling of achievement when you prepare a meal for the first time, the creativity of combining different ingredients, the mesmerizing smell spreading around your kitchen, … All these things can elevate your mood easily, and maybe next time, you’ll be even ready to invite your friends over for dinner. 

As much as working or studying can be productive activities for you, don’t spend your free time on it. You should have hobbies and activities that make you feel good. Improve your self esteem and decrease the fear of not being worthy of something. Once you decide what makes you feel good about yourself. Make a promise to yourself that you will always find time for it. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Anger Management Therapy

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Anger Management Therapy

 

To recognize and avoid anger triggers in people, psychologists and clinicians will often recommend anger management therapy. 

This type of therapy serves as a tool to successfully manage your anger and prevent it from affecting areas of your life. The target of that anger might be anyone, from you and your loved ones to a stranger in the street. 

Most of the time, you will find yourself furious over different events you can’t even control. 

So, when does anger become more than just a standard human emotion?  

 

Understanding Anger

We all get mad, and that’s completely normal. 

However, if your anger is misplaced or uncontrolled, then consider seeking help to manage it better. 

When talking about how this uncontrolled anger looks, it’s important to know that it depends on the person. 

Someone will feel furious on the inside, yet people around them will not be able to see signs of anger.

Another person might have a quick temper and they might even exhibit aggressive behavior. 

Although uncontrolled anger is common, it can be quite dysfunctional, especially because those who experience it are not aware of the impact it has on their lives and the people around them.

The reason why anger leads to bigger problems is because at first, it seems effective. 

For instance, you might lose your temper with your team members at work and it leads to better employee performance. 

Or, you might scream at your kids because they haven’t made their bed or brushed their teeth. In these and similar scenarios, you may get what you want, yet not for long.

People will often overlook the long-term consequences when it comes to anger. 

It can easily lead to undesired health effects such as high blood pressure and even an increased risk of heart disease. 

Yet, the most important effect uncontrolled anger will have is on your social life, including your family members, friends, coworking and everyone else close to you. 

 

Uncontrolled Anger Signs

Before talking about anger management therapy, let’s take a look at some of the common signs of uncontrolled anger. 

If you or someone close to you is showing these signs, consider anger management therapy:

  • More than one person has already told you that you have an anger problem.
  • You have distanced yourself from family and friends because of your behavior.
  • There are business establishments or private gatherings you’re no longer invited to.
  • You feel anger most of the day.
  • You often have a grudge or think about getting revenge. 
  • When angry, you act aggressively or violently or have aggressive or violent thoughts. 

 

Seeking Help

As already explained, it’s not so common that a person with uncontrolled anger is aware they need help. Often, they will be suggested to seek help from their loved one, a family member or a friend. When it comes to treating anger, the therapy has proven to be very efficient with most people.

A therapist will treat anger by focusing on cognitive-behavioural therapy mostly. For a person with uncontrolled anger, this means they will learn how to identify patterns that are harmful in any way. This way, they can change their inaccurate thoughts on how anger solves their problems. 

You can even expect to be exposed to imaginary events that usually provoke anger for you, which is known as Stress Inoculation. 

With this method, a counselor can see your anger in action and help you find coping methods that will work for you. 

Of course, the chosen method will depend on the therapist and the client’s emotions. The point is though, that to overcome uncontrolled anger, you will need to dive into it. 

You have to feel it to heal it!

 

Anger Management Therapy

The core of anger management therapy consists of learning how to handle your anger in a positive way. As much as we all want to completely destroy anger as an emotion, we tend to forget that every emotion we experience can be good for us, it only depends on how we react to it.

So, if the coping mechanisms you have are not serving you, regardless of whether we’re talking about sadness, loneliness or anger, you need to change them. To change the way you feel or react when you’re feeling angry, you need to understand what exactly are your triggers and the ways you reach in these types of situations. 

In most cases, you will need a clinician who does anger management therapy with their clients. 

They can help you learn how to manage your anger constructively and positively by staying calm. As it is with everything else that causes dysfunction in our lives, it will take time until you replace your old coping mechanisms with new beneficial ones.

Think of anger management as a new skill you will need to develop. It will require commitment, effort and more than anything else, time to build the patience to manage your anger. Once you recognize the trigger patterns and behaviors that come out of them, it will be easier to be in control of your anger. 

 

Managing Anger Without Therapy

If you are unable to see a therapist, there are still a few techniques that might be useful when trying to manage your anger. Make sure you remember them and use them anytime you start feeling the anger coming in. 

  • Breathe and while exhaling, think of the anger coming out of your body.
  • Do tension release exercises which move focus to your muscles by contracting and releasing them.
  • Start meditating to shift your mind from anger to a more neutral state.
  • Find a channel that works well for your anger such as running or exercising.
  • Boost your creativity with writing, drawing or listening to music as art.
  • Sleep at least six to eight hours because sleep deprivation leads to irritability!

When it comes to anger management, the most important thing to do is not to suppress it. 

Try expressing it from the moment you notice your anger kicking in as it still allows you to be in control. Express to yourself what this may mean for you. 

The more you practice it, the easier it will become. Once you learn how to manage your anger, you will be able to build quality relationships, be more concentrated on your work and lead a healthier life. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How To Quit Porn: A Step-By Step Guide

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How To Quit Porn: A Step-By Step Guide

 

Let’s be frank, we have all explored the world of sexual fantasies in our own ways, yet how to quit porn for good if it’s no longer serving your curiosity and creativity? You’ve probably consumed enough porn materials and now you feel like it’s time for a porn detox. 

However, this is easier said than done. As it is with all the habits, once you are used to something, it’s not that easy to just kick it out of your life. And don’t get confused, nobody is saying porn is bad! There are no good and bad sites to it, the only deciding factor about it should be how YOU feel about it. 

So, if you no longer feel the same level of curiosity when consuming porn content. Maybe it’s time to rethink it and create some space for other habits that will make you happier. Here are the things you should do to make your porn detox a bit easier for yourself. 

 

Embrace the Rollercoaster

You might think that once you decide something, all you have to do is stick to it until that habit disappears, yet unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. In reality, some days will be a success, while others will seem like a complete disaster. Once you try to get rid of any habit, your emotions will become very intense and it will be really challenging to feel in control. Therefore, you will need to let go of the need to control. 

Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. When you have a bad day, just embrace it as something that needs to happen and know that day will end. It will be difficult to stay away from porn content, however, once you accept that this is not a linear process, you will feel a bit relieved. 

 

Set Small Targets

Don’t think about how to quit porn forever, think about quitting it first for one week. Forever is a very frustrating concept when you are trying to either adopt or kick out a habit. Instead, set smaller targets for yourself. Why don’t you just quit porn for one week? And then one more? This way, you will also experience mini achievements with your habit project and feel good about it. 

The reason why this battle ‘person vs. habit’ fails is that there is nothing positive and encouraging for you during your habit change. You are trying to stop consuming porn content and giving yourself some credit on this difficult path is surely a motivating trick. 

Below, you can find a few useful tips for those who have decided to quit porn:

  • Create your calendar and mark the days you haven’t been consuming any porn content. Seeing it all in one place can help you see how much you’re accomplishing every day.
  • If you usually watch porn in the evenings. Plan something interesting at that time (going for a jog or cooking dinner).
  • Try to stay away from all devices in your home as this will remind you too much of your addiction. Use your computer and mobile phone only when needed. 
  • Celebrate your first week of being porn-free with something that will motivate you. E.g. dinner with friends, an expensive massage or a new pair of sneakers.

 

Reboot Your Brain 

If you’re addicted to porn, just like any other addiction, there is a chemical response in your brain when you are consuming it. The number of dopamine receptors is being reduced due to the dopamine attack which happens while watching porn. This chemical reaction is to blame when a person starts having problems such as erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, anxiety, depression, etc. 

So, to reboot your brain would mean to allow your brain to restore those dopamine receptors which were lost during overconsumption of porn. The idea of rebooting is to get you to that point of your life where there was no pornography. The bad news is rebooting your brain takes more time than rebooting your mobile device or computer. Expect to spend weeks or even months to see an improvement. After the rebooting process has been successfully completed, you should also get your sex urge back.

 

Creating Your Own System

People are not equally addicted to, let’s say, smoking, drinking, drugs or even porn. This means that addiction triggers also differ from one person to another. In other words, a system that worked for your friend struggling with the same addiction may not work for you because you are addicted due to different reasons, have different triggers and consume differently.

When do you usually watch porn? On which occasions do you feel you need more of it? Deeply analysing your addiction will help you fight it and ultimately win it. For instance, if you watch porn in the evening because you are bored alone at home, find hobbies in the evening or schedule more events with your friends at that time. 

If you turn to porn each time something bad happens at work and you want to escape the real world, find a person you can talk to about the work situations. It can be a colleague who is going through the same thing or your friend who is simply a good listener. The key is to understand why and when you need pornography in order to quit it successfully. 

 

Action!

It’s very admirable if you’ve decided to quit porn, however, in the majority of addiction cases, it simply won’t be enough. There is so much porn addiction around us because it’s so easy to find and consume it. What can you do to make it harder for yourself to consume porn content? Is it maybe canceling the subscription to your prefered websites? Deleting all the porn content you have downloaded on your computer? Blocking the free websites where you used to go when you had porn cravings? 

Anything you can do to prevent yourself from watching porn, you should do it. It might seem exaggerated at the beginning, yet keep in mind it’s very easy to fall into the addiction trap again. It’s not easy to free your mind from pornography, you will have to be persistent. With time, you will think less and less about porn and find other things that will bring you excitement in life!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How To Respond to Verbal Abuse

How To Respond To Verbal Abuse In a Healthy Way

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How To Respond To Verbal Abuse In a Healthy Way

 

This blog discussed how to respond to verbal abuse, when you are not in a dangerous situation.

If you are in a dangerous place and there is abuse, get out of that situation!

Most of us were NOT taught how to relate with clear or compassionate communication. Therefore, if you are in a place wondering how to respond to verbal abuse, you will get the tips you need here.

In our culture, we weren’t taught about healthy boundaries, on how to make requests (instead of demands).

What this means is that we will be spending our lives training in these NEW skills, and practicing them.

We start here in the AASECT Model of PLISSIT. P is for permission! A therapist will tell you that YOU are precious. You are perfectly imperfect in all human ways. Which means that ALL of you deserves to be seen and loved. In other words, ALL of your Inner Aspects deserve to be seen and loved by ourselves – by you!

Each of your inner parts have a purpose and need at the Boardroom Table in your mind… when these internal parts of us are recovered, discovered, uncovered and loved unconditionally by you.

The person who is verbally abusing you has a right to their parts too; however, you are allowed to request that they share those parts with themselves and find a new way to talk with you.

These parts of me have been given some chance to transform, heal, and these wounds can become wisdom for a new future as I sit and take the time to do the work.

So… I literally practice SELF Care. Really. Daily. I even talk to myself in my mind in a loving manner which I didn’t used to. It used to be seeing someone I cared about with someone else felt like I was LOSING something.

What I realize now, which I didn’t then, is that OTHERS may or may not be “up” for knowing my Inner Aspects. Not everyone wants to hear all inner parts unfiltered. That’s ok because our primary love relationship isn’t with another… it’s with yourself. To me, it is HEALTHY to move toward spending time with those with whom I can collaborate (in a healthy manner) on getting both of our needs met.

It is healthy to spend LESS time with those we cannot (including family and / or friends).

I work to lead my life as a centered, mature adult which sounds to me DIFFERENT than being in a relationship with those who continue to use verbal abuse when talking to me.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.