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Reflective Listening

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Your Guide to Reflective Listening

 

Reflective Listening goes beyond active and passive listening by incorporating repeating and paraphrasing. You’ve likely heard of active and passive listening, but have you considered this deeper approach? If these concepts are new to you, read our guide for a clearer understanding.

In this article, you will learn the benefits of reflective listening and why it is a crucial skill for any relationship.

 

Degrees of Active Listening

It helps when you actively pay attention and listen to people around you, whether it’s in your professional or personal life.

Successful communication requires as much learning how to listen as well as how to speak. 

Hearing someone speak and truly listening to them are two entirely unique things. If we’re actively listening, it means that this person has our full attention and we’re doing our best to understand what they are communicating to us. 

 

1.Repeating

Repeating is the first degree of active listening, and it refers to repeating the words you’ve heard in the conversation to make sure you understand the person correctly. It requires paying attention, remembering the words, and then saying them back to the speaker. As opposed to passive listening, repeating lets the other person know that you are paying attention and want to understand what they are saying.

 

2.Paraphrasing

By repeating, you are practically saying the exact same words to confirm the speaker’s intentions. Instead of mirroring the exact words, with paraphrasing, you choose similar words yet not the same. This approach shows the other person that you’ve resonated with the shared information. It also allows you to remember that information more easily because you use words and phrases that you connect with better.

 

3.Reflecting

At first, paraphrasing and reflecting might seem very similar. However, reflecting involves taking a moment to think about the information shared in the conversation and reflecting on it in your words. You can summarize the conversation or provide a few examples to confirm your understanding. Reflecting can be the most profound level of listening, where the listener resonates with all the conversation’s content.

 

What Is Reflective Listening?

Reflective listening is beneficial across all areas. It can help you communicate more efficiently with your new coworkers, meet your superior’s demands easily, and strengthen your romantic relationship or friendship.

Reflective listening requires a conversation. The person who is listening will speak soon to reflect on what has been said, which is very different from passive listening. For example, if your boss is explaining the details of a new project, you will want to reflect on it, ask questions, and confirm if all is clear. 

It’s also worth mentioning that reflective listening occurs in one-on-one conversations or in small groups, as it might be challenging during a business conference with 50 people. That is what makes reflective listening a valuable communication tool that helps build relationships. This intimate aspect guarantees mutual understanding and the ability to collaborate towards a shared objective, whatever it may be. 

 

Key Components of Reflective Listening

If you’re looking to become a master in reflective listening, you will have to first learn its key components. These components will help you truly listen to other people and learn from them. 

Reflective listening consists of four key components: 

  • Active listening—listening to the speaker with your full attention without any distractions 
  • Paraphrasing—repeating what the speaker said back to them, yet in your own words
  • Clarification—asking questions to ensure understanding or raising any confusion you have
  • Empathizing—acknowledging the speaker’s thoughts and emotions and taking them into account during the conversation 

 

Benefits of Reflective Listening

Obviously, there are many benefits of reflective listening, especially when compared to passive listening. When we’re dedicated to truly listening to the person talking to us, we’re able to understand their perspective and strengthen the connection with them based on the information received, both verbally and non-verbally. 

Reflective listening also strengthens trust. Knowing you are being listened to carefully encourages you to share more and actively seek opportunities to continue communicating with this person. Conversely, people who listen and think about what was said are usually the ones that others turn to for comfort, a shoulder to cry on, advice, or just to vent. 

Also, reflective listening reduces misunderstandings and conflicts. Hearing someone speak and assuming you know what they think and feel often leads to confusion and conflicts. If you’re invested, it becomes easier to have empathy for the other person. In other words, understanding their intentions, thought processes, emotions, and so much more becomes easier if you listen closely. 

That is what makes reflective listening valuable in problem-solving situations as well. Whenever a conflict arises, whether it’s at work, home, or somewhere else, using this tool can enable both sides to find common ground because they’ll have a clearer idea of why the conflict occurred in the first place. 

 

How to Practice Reflective Listening

With that in mind, you may be wondering how to start reflective listening today and reap its benefits. Once you’ve determined that you want to become better at listening to people around you, there are certain things to keep in mind to ensure you’re doing a good job. 

Firstly, whenever you need to listen to someone, make sure you’ve eliminated all the distractions. Find a comfortable place to have a conversation, turn off your phone, close the doors, and decide to focus only on the person in front of you. 

During the conversation, be mindful of nonverbal cues. Pay attention to the speaker’s hands, sitting position, eye movement, and any other detail that can fill in the picture of how they feel or what they think about the matter discussed. Also, use your nonverbal cues to show support. Look them in their eyes while they are talking and nod anytime something resonates with you.

When the other person finishes speaking, don’t just say “I understand” and end the conversation by making it about yourself instantly. Utilize this moment to contemplate the spoken words, verify their accuracy, and stimulate conversation by posing questions. This shows that you are doing your best to improve the relationship you have with that person. 

If this all feels confusing, book a session and we can help you understand it more. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Stop Porn Addiction

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How to Stop Porn Addiction & Become Free

 

If you have been wondering how to stop porn addiction, you have come to the right place. Addiction of any kind is a serious issue, and sometimes overcoming addictive behaviors requires more than just willpower. If this is the case for you, you can experiment with different techniques and approaches to see if one of them helps you stop watching it. 

Before we dive into these techniques, let’s go a few steps back and look closely at porn addiction, why and when it occurs, and other relevant information that could help you understand why you can quit this easily. 

 

Understanding Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is frequently misinterpreted in the context of behavioral addictions. This keeps this addiction stigmatized, making it hard to identify. When talking about porn, there is still a lot of disagreement among medical experts on the boundaries between addiction and compulsion. However, there is no doubt that you can get addicted to porn. Not giving this topic the respect and seriousness it deserves makes it only harder for those struggling with this addiction. Not knowing what to do, who to ask for help, and which steps to follow is the first problem porn addicts face when they try to stop their addiction. 

What’s important to say is whether you have a porn addiction or compulsion; seeking help in the form of therapy is essential to stop watching porn. Porn addiction, or the inability to control the urge to view porn, is one of the most common addictions, and you have every right to take the path of quitting it when you’re ready.

 

Signs of Porn Addiction

Watching porn can have numerous negative consequences on your life. Excessive porn time can impact your sleep quality and time, make you ignore or forget about your responsibilities. And even impact how you connect romantically with other people. After all, porn can affect the expectations you might have from your romantic partner in bed and out of it. 

To help you understand whether you or someone close to you has a porn addiction, we’ve gathered porn addiction signs to be aware of. One of the most obvious ones is compulsive watching, when watching pornography becomes something you have almost no control over. 

Also, if you’re noticing you’re spending more time watching porn than before, it could be a sign of addiction. Another thing to pay attention to is whether porn is preventing you from performing your daily tasks, whether it’s at work/school or at home. As mentioned above, relationship problems are also one of the common signs of porn addiction. 

Although this sign is not very obvious at first, the need to watch more extreme or varied content is typical with porn addicts. The content you used to watch before might not do the work for you anymore. So you need something that will excite you on another level. 

Occasionally, individuals struggling with a porn addiction may choose to avoid social events or comply with the minimum expectations of others in order to quickly return to porn. 

Taking all that into consideration, it’s pretty obvious that porn addiction is a serious problem. If you’ve tried to stop it on your own, you might have experienced withdrawal symptoms, such as irritability, restlessness, or anxiety. This is your nervous system reacting to the lack of something it got used to, making it really difficult to continue being motivated about stopping your porn addiction. 

 

Steps to Stopping Porn Addiction

Just because stopping porn addiction is hard for you, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. If people can get rid of their drug or alcohol addiction, you can do the same. There are certain steps and ideas that are recommended for people with porn addiction. If you’ve tried quitting before or this is your first time, follow these ideas and implement them as naturally as you. Keep in mind that the addiction didn’t appear overnight, so it certainly won’t disappear quickly either. 

 

1.Admit You Have a Problem

We know—it’s not easy. Admitting you have a problem implies you have to find a solution. However, what if it’s enough for now just to admit that you have a problem and not try to search for a solution? After you’ve admitted to yourself or someone you trust that you have a problem. Take a moment to feel whatever feels right at that time. Jumping into problem-solving mode will probably lead to counterproductive results. 

 

2.Start with Small Goals

With addictions, it’s quite difficult to get rid of them completely at once. Instead, start with smaller goals of watching porn every other day and limiting your time. Depending on how much you used to spend watching pornography, the goal should be a representation of a tiny advancement. 

 

3.Identify Your Triggers

A lot of people have problems with addictions because they use them as a way to run from stress. For instance, you might notice that your trigger is coming home tired from work and wanting to disconnect from thinking about your endless to-do list. Maybe you’re too bored, so porn provides you with a fantasy world where everything is possible. Whatever the reason, understanding it can help you find alternative solutions.

 

4.Replace Porn Watching with Healthy Habits

You can’t just expect to quit watching porn and not replace this habit with something else. If you’ve spent hours every day watching porn and then suddenly stopped, this void might remind you of your addiction. Instead, remind yourself of hobbies and activities you used to enjoy doing. Spend more time with your friends, go to the gym, take long walks, and listen to your favorite podcast. Creating a list of ideas can also help you avoid feeling like you have too much free time now when you’re quitting porn-watching. 

 

The Power of the Therapy

The best thing to do when trying to quit any type of addiction is to reach out to a recommended therapist and share your problem with them. A mental health professional can provide you with useful information on how to stay on the recovery path and break free from the addiction. After all, it’s the only way to get your life into your own hands again!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Robot Fetish

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Robot Fetish: A Deep Dive into Technosexuality

 

Although you may not know about robot fetishes, you may have seen a film about human-machine romance. Since artificial intelligence has become a media buzzword, people have wondered if it can evoke desire like humans. 

To understand how and why humans decided to connect with the machines in a way that used to connect with other humans, we have to address robot fetish and technosexuality. These two are synonyms referring to sexual or romantic attraction to robots or other machines that aim to mimic human behavior. It ranges from admiration for the robotic form to longing for a non-human, artificially intelligent partner. 

In this article, we’ll explore the origins, psychology, cultural impact, and everything else you’d like to know about robot fetishism.

 

The Origins of Robot Fetishism

Although we talk about robots as something futuristic, the truth is that humanoid machines have been present throughout history. Just remember Pygmalion and Galatea in mythology or Frankenstein and Metropolis in literature. In recent years, we’ve had sci-fi movies like Blade Runner, Ex Machina, and Her, all showing the allurement of human-robot relationships. 

However, today, we’re not talking about imagination. Due to the evolution of robotics and artificial intelligence that started at the end of the 20th century, people nowadays have all the tools needed to build a relationship with a robot. The normalization of human-machine interactions is offering a new aspect for those who are looking for something different for numerous reasons. 

You may be tired of trying your hardest or being cheated on, so you are exploring robot fetish to see if it is right for you. Regardless of the motivation, there’s no denying the permanence of human-machine interactions. 

 

The Psychology Behind Technosexuality

Why do people find robots alluring? Well, there are several reasons why technosexuality is becoming so popular. One of the most obvious and common is control and predictability. The reason why many relationships and marriages go through difficult times and even separations is that we can’t control or predict another person’s behavior. Compared to humans, robots currently may have less emotionally complex characteristics, which allows them to become “perfect matches” to each individual.

Also, there is an aspect of fantasy and projection. Technosexuality allows humans to project their desires onto non-human entities. In other words, the robot you’re building a relationship with will want to become what you need it to be. Do you want to have a partner that is more seductive? A robot can do this for you. Do you maybe want a partner who knows how to make you laugh when you have a lousy day? A robot will do this for you. 

Lastly, we have to address the increasing loneliness in today’s modern society. We feel more and more separated from society. This can be because of traveling, moving abroad, or simply because we’re so used to being at home interacting with technology that we’ve lost interest in connecting the way we used to before. Robots can fill the emotional void for people who have a deep desire to connect with someone with the minimum risk of getting hurt. 

 

Technosexuality in Popular Culture

As mentioned above, technosexuality appeared in mythology, literature, and movies. Its usage can be defined as recent, yet the concept of robot fetish is older than any technology the human race has witnessed. Over the past few years, there has also been a rising trend of video games with robots as icons of desire. The most popular examples are Ava from Ex Machina and Westworld’s Hosts. 

Robot fetish is a common theme in modern erotic art and literature as well. This concept spreads across all forms of art and entertainment, and its popularity indicates that today’s audience finds this idea alluring. The rise of AI companion apps and interactive sex dolls further blurs the line between fantasy and reality. Similarly, they are working on surrogate sex robots to be able to carry your future children while you stay at work. 

If you’re interested in a human-like relationship with a robot, there are tons of options for you to try out. From installing a mobile app on your phone and building relationships with a machine to using AI tools for dating advice, matchmaking, and role play, AI can offer support for any romantic aspect you seek. 

 

The Future of Human-Robot Intimacy

Given this, what will the future be like? These technological advances show AI and robotics’ potential to create emotionally responsive companions. This could lead to long-term relationships with machines, where people make memories and celebrate important dates. 

Only twenty years ago, we didn’t have AI assistants such as Alexa or Siri. The idea of technology creating our grocery shopping list or playing interactive games with us was pretty unimaginable at that time. That is why we can say that technology and the way humans respond to it are difficult to predict. However, the main question isn’t whether or not society will accept the idea of human-robot intimacy. What matters is whether this type of intimacy will make a person feel loved and secure and ready to date again if the opportunity arises. 

 

Conclusion

There is no doubt that the technology we’re seeing today can be used in different ways and forms, including our romantic lives. Technosexuality brought to life a thousand-year-old concept in which we’ve been imagining what it’s like to connect with someone who is not human. 

With more robots in our society, there is no doubt that there will also be an increase in the number of relationships with them. We’ve mentioned all the reasons why someone would be interested in building a romantic relationship with a machine, yet a machine is still just a piece of technology. One internet outage or software attack would cause that relationship to suffer a unique set of challenges. 

Despite the existence of robots, the ideal relationship remains unattainable. It comes with certain risks, and it’s up to you to weigh your options and decide whether it’s the right thing for you. Come talk to us if you have issues with robot-machine relationships. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Stress Relief Activities

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Stress Relief Activities to Unwind and Recharge

 

If you’ve been overwhelmed with responsibilities lately, learning which stress relief activities can help you relax and get back on track. Whether it’s work, family, or your health, feeling stressed can only make things worse. However, most of the time, we’re not aware of the activities that can help us step away from all the tension. 

Whatever your life looks like, what we all have in common is the inability to control external factors. In other words, we can’t control what will happen. What we can control is how we react to these external events until we dismantle the greater systems at large. So, if we spend time focusing on activities that help us restore and relax, we may be able to respond more to what life throws at us. 

In this article, we’ll share with you the most efficient stress relief activities you can start implementing today. Try them until you’ve found the ones that resonate best with your personality and goals. If none, consider our YouTube techniques. 

 

1.Meditation

Nowadays, everyone is talking about meditation—and for a good reason. Meditation helps you find inner peace by sitting still, breathing, and exploring what your inner world wants to tell you. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, meditation allows you to pay attention to sensations in your body. When was the last time you were present at the moment, and your mind wasn’t going through your to-do list or avoiding that list? 

The good news is that you do not need anything to begin meditation if you have never done it before. Just find a quiet, comfortable place and dedicate 10 minutes to just being in the present moment. You can meditate lying down or sitting; it’s up to you. Guided meditations and breathwork are just two of the many types of meditations available online. It’s important to say neutral to kind things to yourself, like you would a best friend, a child, or someone you are mentoring. 

 

2.Therapy

A person can only do so much on their own when it comes to improving their reaction to stressful situations. We usually look within our beliefs and skills for solutions, ignoring many more efficient options. That is where therapists come in. 

Most of the way we react to external factors is conditioned by our past experiences and the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. A therapist can help you take a closer look at how you’re reacting to stress, the reasons for it, and the alternatives. After just a few sessions, you will notice that your perspective is shifting, and you may be able to react differently to life around you.  

 

3.Journaling

Although journaling may appear to be a monotonous activity, it has numerous mental health benefits. Starting to journal, especially if you are working on gratitude, will change how you feel about your reality. 

If you focus on what you can, you will notice a new lens to old problems. Whatever you focus on grows! It’s your decision whether you’ll focus on positive or negative things in your life. 

 

4.Physical Activity

If you ask any doctor or scientist about the best activity to unwind and recharge, 99% of them will list physical activity as one of the top three suggestions. Your brain releases dopamine and endorphins when you exercise, making you feel good. 

You can start with any physical activity that seems interesting to you, whether it’s swimming, jogging, gym, hiking, or working out at home. Make sure that your chosen physical activity matches your lifestyle. For instance, if you don’t have enough free time, driving to the gym and back home might be a waste of your time. Instead, you can purchase a set of weights and equipment you’ll need to work out at home. 

 

5.Spend Time in Nature

Today’s busy lifestyle makes us forget how important spending time in nature is for us. Walking in the woods is the best way to chill out and recharge.

Explore nature according to your interests. Perhaps you would rather sit in a park and listen to the birds sing or take long walks on the beach. Make the commitment to do that at least once a week, no matter what it is. Try adding it to your calendar and creating a healthy stress-relief routine. 

 

6.Connect with Your Close Ones

We often forget how valuable personal connections are to us. We’ll postpone meeting our best friend for weeks due to work responsibilities, not being aware of how much better we feel after we’ve talked and laughed with them for hours. 

Find the time to be with your friends, family, or your romantic partner. Getting together does not have to require an exciting plan. Oftentimes, the best moments are when we’ll just talk to the ones we love while sitting on our sofa or drinking coffee in our favorite place. 

 

7.Start Your Morning Right

Do you often wake up and instinctively reach for your phone to check your emails and messages? The way you start your morning affects the rest of your day, so maybe you can consider a new habit stop. If you’re immediately focusing on your responsibilities, the day will probably feel too overwhelming for you.

Instead, why not set intentions for that day? You can decide to do a short meditation before you go about your day as well. Maybe you’ll want to mindfully drink your cup of tea or coffee in silence. Your morning ritual could be exactly what you need to become more resilient to the outer world. 

 

Conclusion 

Whether it’s talking to your therapist or going for long walks in nature, find the stress relief activity that makes you feel peaceful and fulfilled. The more you start practicing these activities, the easier it will become to navigate the challenges of the modern lifestyle. Start today, so your tomorrow is something you look forward to!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Overcoming Obsession with Another Person

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Overcoming Obsession with Another Person

 

Struggling with an obsession with another person can feel overwhelming and all-consuming.

Are obsessive thoughts about someone taking over your life? 🌪️

Obsession can feel all-consuming, like a never-ending loop of thoughts and emotions tied to one person. It often sneaks in when we least expect it, feeding off insecurities, unmet needs, or unresolved feelings. The cycle can be exhausting, affecting your mood, relationships, and overall well-being.

In this video, we’ll dig into the root causes of obsession. Is it unfulfilled attachment? Low self-esteem? Or maybe unmet emotional needs? Understanding the “why” is the first step to breaking free.

We’ll also explore how these obsessions become ingrained in your everyday life. They might seem harmless at first—a fleeting thought or a harmless text—but over time, they can grow into something that feels impossible to escape.

The good news? There’s a way out. I’ll share simple, practical steps to reclaim your mental space and restore balance. Learn how to set boundaries with your thoughts, refocus your energy on personal growth, and find fulfillment beyond the obsession.

You deserve to feel free and in control. Tune in, take notes, and start your journey to overcoming obsession today.

 

 

Ready to take the next step? Book a session with my team 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Have Difficult Conversations

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How to Have Difficult Conversations with People You Care About

 

Not knowing how to have difficult conversations with other people is more common than you think. We often believe that everyone else is so skilled when it comes to complex conversations. Recognizing that the situation feels a bit awkward and that you are not entirely comfortable with it is an important first step toward improving your ability to engage in these conversations. 

Since we all face such situations, it makes sense to learn how to have constructive conversations, even if they are difficult. In this article, we’ve explored some thoughtful approaches to help you prepare for a challenging conversation with someone who is important to you.

 

Examples of Difficult Conversations

Regardless of your age, education, career, and place of living, you’ve probably had a few difficult conversations in your life. That is because we’re constantly interacting with other people, trying to connect on a more meaningful level, or simply being new to situations. One difficult conversation may have been when you moved into your first apartment alone and the landlord confronted you about the noise levels on weekends. 

Many common examples of difficult conversations are those related to work, family, relationships, and friendships. Therefore, setting boundaries with people we care about is challenging for so many reasons. Because we care about them, confronting them on something may be scary, especially if we have not done it before.

Having tough conversations is not always fun, but at least you can be ready for them. 

 

Prepare Yourself for a Difficult Conversation

Regardless of why you need to have a difficult conversation with someone, you can practice it so you feel more confident in what you want to say. Preparation is about knowing what you want to say and what you want to learn from this conversation. 

The closer you are to that person, the more difficult the conversation appears in your mind. Before you share your perspective with another person and allow them to share theirs, it’s important to be as clear and straightforward while having a relaxed tone. 

 

1.Address the Trigger

What was the trigger that led you to decide to have a conversation? Was it one event or a series of events? Was this something that started happening recently, or has it been going on for decades? Knowing which actions or words made a negative impact on you is essential for the conversation. Without it, you will only be able to express how you feel, and the person will most likely have a poor understanding of what you are saying. 

 

2.Understand How You Feel

Oftentimes, we’ll try to rationalize our own feelings in order to be accepted by others. By doing this, you are skipping an important part of a process. Allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt and ensure you have enough time and a safe space to do so. You can journal about it or talk about it with a coach or therapist if you feel you need support. 

 

3.Define Your Talking Points

Once you’ve given yourself time to feel vulnerable, afraid, angry, or sad, it’s time to think about what you want to say to the person. For instance, if you’re breaking up with your partner after trying to save the relationship for so long, it’s essential that you’re clear on what you wish to communicate to them. You don’t have to share every thought you have. The idea is that the conversation is valuable to both sides. 

 

4.Choose the Time and Place 

Consider how you can make this conversation easier for yourself if you are aware that it may be awkward. Think about the places that can help you focus better or that are neutral territory, such as a park. If you think they’ll want to prolong the conversation and drain your energy that way, suggest meeting at a place that allows you to leave whenever you want. On the other hand, if the conversation is very intimate, your place might seem like a better option.  

 

5.Set the Tone

If a person is unaware that you want to have a difficult conversation with them, it would be best to say it before you dive into it. This will give them a moment to prepare and align their feelings with the purpose of the conversation. Make sure you’re being respectful yet very straightforward. Your responsibility is to communicate what you need to say, and the way they feel about it is their responsibility. 

 

After a Difficult Conversation…

There is a big chance that things will not be the same after you have that difficult conversation. The other person has the choice to either do their best to ensure this never happens again or they can get upset and stop talking to you. The important thing to know here is that you can’t control how other people react. 

Also, if you think they only apologized because they wanted to avoid talking further about it, pay closer attention to their actions. Be sure to check how they behave once a similar situation occurs. Are they taking into consideration everything you shared or are they acting the same? 

 

Seeking Help to Establish Boundaries

Any type of relationship might require a difficult conversation from time to time. If this is something that sounds overwhelming to you, consider talking to a therapist. They can help you understand what makes you feel so uncomfortable about this conversation. Beyond that, a therapist will help you learn to establish healthy boundaries. 

Once you understand your needs better, you will be able to communicate them more efficiently to others. However, this is easier said than done. That is why it’s common for many to talk to a mental health professional who can provide support on their journey towards more fulfilling relationships with themselves and others. Come join us by making a virtual session today. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

LGBT Therapist

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The Value of an LGBT Therapist in Your Mental Health Journey

 

Although mental health should be a priority for everyone, a queer person benefits tremendously from seeing an LGBT therapist. The LGBT community faces unique challenges in accessing mental health services, which makes it essential that the person you talk to about your well-being is someone who is experienced in this area. 

One of the most important steps in the mental health process is definitely finding an LGBT-affirming therapist. You may be able to create the life you truly deserve if you learn how to heal your traumas and wounds and become the best version of yourself. If you identify with this topic, know that working closely with an experienced LGBT therapist is essential for your healing journey. We hope that this article will inspire you to take the most significant step toward your ideal future by providing you with additional information.  

 

Unique Challenges of the LGBT Community

Unfortunately, certain societal attitudes toward LGBT people can contribute to stress, anxiety, and depression. We cannot claim that society as a whole is stagnant. Despite this, we continue to see terrible instances of discrimination everywhere we look. The significance of queer folks having LGBT therapists for mental health care is just one part of that. 

Many of these mental health issues are caused entirely or in part by oppressive institutions and behaviors that are still in place in our culture. Providing positive treatment as a mental health practitioner requires understanding these detrimental systems and how they impact LGBT people. LGBT issues like healthcare access, employment and housing discrimination, gendered violence, and social exclusion are major concerns. 

The list of difficulties for the LGBT community goes on and on. These challenges will evolve and take on different shapes as time and society change. Keeping up with how the landscape is evolving and impacting LGBT clients is crucial for mental health professionals because it provides authentic support to those who need it the most. 

 

Why Choose an LGBT Therapist?

If you’re thinking between choosing a mental health therapist with no experience in this area and an LGBT-affirming therapist, there are certain factors you should keep in mind when making this decision. 

The most obvious one is cultural competence. Your therapy can only be successful if your therapist can truly understand the challenges you’re facing and is able to provide realistic tools and techniques in your healing journey. LGBT therapists are trained to understand and affirm diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, making it easier for you to feel understood and supported. 

It goes beyond saying how important it is for members of the LGBT community to feel they’re in a judgment-free environment. Without it, it would be impossible to foster trust and achieve deeper therapeutic work. 

An LGBT therapist will also be able to navigate issues like minority stress, coming out, or family rejection. As someone who has been hurt and is openly looking for support, seeing yourself reflected in a therapist can enhance feelings of belonging and understanding. 

 

The Benefits of LGBT Therapy

LGBT therapy is essential because it provides a safe space for people to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to their gender identity or sexual orientation in a supportive and nonjudgmental setting. By addressing the particular cultural, family, and internal issues that LGBT people may encounter, this specialized type of counseling goes beyond regular therapy. It is essential for building resilience, increasing self-awareness, and enabling people to deal with the complexity of who they are. 

When talking about the numerous benefits of LGBT therapy, the most noticeable ones include: 

  • Building self-acceptance
  • Healing relationships
  • Resilience and empowerment 
  • Community resources and support

 

Through LGBT counseling, you can develop healthy coping strategies, boost your self-esteem, and develop deeper, more meaningful relationships with others. LGBT therapy’s supportive framework ensures self-acceptance and personal growth are respected and supported, which is essential for living fully.

 

How to Find the Right Therapist

If you want an LGBT-affirming therapist but are already seeing one, ask your current therapist for referrals. The majority of therapists would gladly assist with a reference since they care about their client’s best interests. 

Using an LGBT health search engine is another way to locate a qualified therapist. Within a given zip code, you may look for therapists, psychiatrists, and sex therapists. Therapists indicate their areas of expertise, such as LGBT-affirming and gender-affirming care. If you are looking to pay privately, we have many virtual options for coaching available. 

Lastly, your community might be your finest resource. Ask for referrals from other LGBTA+ people you know who are undergoing therapy. You can also reach out to Facebook and other social media or internet groups and ask for advice. Dozens of recommendations will likely appear quickly, making it easier than searching online. 

 

Conclusion

Therapy is unquestionably crucial for LGBTA+ individuals to overcome mental health obstacles in their lives. If you’re looking for someone to help you feel fulfilled and accomplished, consider reaching out to a queer therapist. These professionals will be able to truly understand and support you on your journey. After all, sometimes we need more than just our friends’ support. 

A qualified therapist can help you get to know yourself better. Once you do that, you will be able to understand better your needs and what you’re looking for in others. The most important part of a queer person’s life is acceptance. However, this is often easier said than done. There are various reasons why you may not feel comfortable about your life. It’s a therapist’s job to make you fall in love with yourself and become excited about the life you have and are building for yourself. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Manage Time Effectively

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How to Manage Time Effectively: Self-Employed Success

 

In this video, I’m sharing how to manage time effectively for self-employed individuals.

Being self-employed comes with incredible freedom, but it also demands discipline and structure. Without a boss or set hours, it’s easy to get overwhelmed or lose focus. That’s why developing solid habits and learning how to manage time effectively is essential for success.

As a group private practice owner, I’ve learned how to prioritize tasks, set boundaries with my time, and build consistent routines that help me work smarter, not harder. One of my key strategies is starting each day with a clear plan, outlining the top three priorities to tackle. This keeps me on track and prevents distractions.

I’ll also share how to set realistic goals, delegate effectively, and create a schedule that balances work with personal time. Mastering how to manage time effectively has made a huge difference in my productivity, and I know it can do the same for you.

Watch to learn how to reclaim your time and thrive as your own boss!

 

 

Unlock Your Week’s Full Potential with Our Effective Weekly Plan Example!

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Causes of Burnout

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Causes of Burnout: How to Recognize Them on Time

 

There are numerous causes of burnout, yet several of them are quite common among people who have been feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained by their work responsibilities. Of course, burnout can happen in other areas of your life, such as planning important events like a wedding. 

The good news is that you can prevent burnout if you’re aware of its common causes and it helps you realize if any of them apply to your life. This allows you to understand the cause of your potential burnout and think about the ways you can prevent it. 

 

What Is a Burnout? 

A burnout is a state in which you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unmotivated, and it results from ongoing stress in your life or a specific area of your life. Experiencing burnout is not uncommon; however, its consequences can have a tremendous impact on your future. 

For instance, if you’re experiencing burnout from your work responsibilities, you might be unable to work or feel motivated to work for some time. Burnout requires a time of relaxation and introspection to recover, and the amount of that time might differ from one person to another. 

Stress can lead to burnout, yet the two are not the same. Stress can be a reaction to an external event and it often comes with short-term consequences. However, when you’re under stress for a while and you’re unable to recover from it as the responsibilities just keep coming your way, you’re risking burnout. In other words, stress triggers the onset of burnout, not the reverse. Typically, once you experience burnout, depending on the gravity of it, you will not be able to experience more stress and you’ll need to isolate yourself from anything that’s causing your harm.

 

Causes of Burnout

Excessive and sustained work-related stress on the body, mind, and emotions leads to burnout. This can impact other aspects of your life, including your general well-being and happiness. Knowing the signs and causes of burnout can help you protect yourself from its effects and give you a chance to reassess your beliefs and objectives.

 

1.Overwhelming Workload

Being overwhelmed by work is the most common cause of burnout. Having a never-ending to-do list might make you feel like you don’t have control over what’s happening and that you’re not achieving things. Also, you might experience worry and stress when thinking about the next day or week at work, so you’re unable to relax in your free time. 

If this sounds familiar, consider establishing a routine before or after work. For instance, you can schedule activities with your loved ones and your friends or get up early in the morning and dedicate some time to working out and your personal well-being. Of course, if there’s no sign that your work situation is about to change, maybe it’s also a good time to consider looking for another job. 

 

2.Lack of Perspective

If you work in a company that lacks overall perspective and is making its employees do their best without actually informing them how they contribute to business results, you might also experience burnout at a certain point. Working hard and not knowing why is a big trigger for many professionals. They need to feel motivated to do their best, as they are often result-driven and they need to understand how their work fits the bigger picture.

If you can’t see the point of the job you’re doing, there are a few things you can do about it. First, if possible, talk to your superior and share your concerns about not seeing the connection between your work and the results. This might encourage them to take a different approach and inform their employees, so they feel like a crucial part of the company. 

Another thing you can do is find this motivation in other areas of your life. Invest your passion and curiosity into other activities, hobbies, or side projects. Who knows, maybe one of them inspires you to start your own business? 

 

3.Injustice

As humans, we see and experience injustice almost on a daily level. However, if you are being treated poorly at work, this could have a significant impact on your well-being and your self-esteem. Your boss might have personal problems and they are taking it out on you, so you feel scared to suggest new ideas or terrified whenever you’re called in for a performance review. 

If a person is giving you unfair treatment, whether we’re talking about a boss or a colleague, it’s quite unlikely they will change the way they act. Instead, focus on the things you can change. If possible, bring this subject with someone superior to both of you. Toxic behavior should never be tolerated at work and you have every right to protect yourself from it. 

 

4.Unaligned Values

Company values are often overlooked when we apply for a job or start working for a new company. However, if your personal values are quite different from the values of the company you work for, you might feel unsatisfied or stressed. For instance, if the company you work for doesn’t appreciate the personal time and family responsibilities of its employees, someone with children might find it quite difficult. 

If you feel that your values are not being respected at work, think about what can be done about it. For instance, you might want to suggest working from home on certain days or having a more flexible schedule. Whatever you do, make sure you find a way to respect your values at work. If that’s not possible, maybe that’s not the right environment for you. 

 

5.Issues with Your Boss

If you have a problem with your boss, it may not be personal. Working with people who have different personalities and mentalities from yours is not easy. Sometimes, staff will have an issue with their leader’s management style, which can impact their results. Other times, the boss might have specific expectations that are challenging for most staff members. 

In cases like this, think about the possibility of finding common ground. Maybe your boss will appreciate it if you suggest they include all key information in an email that’s sent to all employees instead of sharing it casually in meetings. 

If that’s not an option, consider talking to a therapist about your concerns regarding burnout. Besides listening to you, a therapist can help you establish healthy boundaries and understand what type of work environment you need to truly blossom. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Communication Is Key

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Communication Is Key to All Your Relationships

 

How often have you said the following words, ‘Communication is key’? Maybe you’ve said to a friend to remind them that they need to communicate how they feel to their romantic partner or maybe you’ve said it to remind your coworker that it’s always best to clarify everything before it becomes a problem at work.

Regardless of the relationship, communication is crucial to understanding the other person. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to state our needs and desires or understand what our partner, friend, or relative thinks or feels. Even though we’re all aware of the importance of communication, we need a constant reminder that it’s truly the only language that can bring us closer to others and even help us understand ourselves better.

 

Why Communication Matters?

Everything is communication. From the minute a baby is born, it is communicating with the world. Although babies will not use words, their close environment gives an idea of the baby’s needs due to the communication clue it provides. As we start talking, we turn to words to explain the significance of things, people, and events around us.

Even when we’re silent, we’re communicating. If you’re silent in a business meeting, you’re communicating that you’re interested in the topic and that the speaker has your full attention. Non-verbal communication is an efficient way to express ourselves and interact with our environment. For instance, crossing your arms and looking at your phone in that same business meeting mentioned above sends a very different message from maintaining eye contact with your superior.

However, in intimate relationships, communication is even more important. When we’re in a relationship or a friendship, we want to feel close to the other person. This would be impossible without communication. Getting to know each other can only be done when communicating with the other person, whether verbally or non-verbally. So, if we all know communication is key for a relationship to work, why do many couples go through periods of discussion or feel that the other person doesn’t understand them?

 

Interpretation of Communication

Do you remember the last time when you thought you were clear about something and the other person still misunderstood you completely? Most often, we fight when our interpretations of something are not the same. This occurs when there is a lack of quality communication between two or more people, so there is more space for making assumptions. For instance, someone not responding to your text right away can be interpreted as a lack of interest, whereas the other person simply might be busy at the moment or want to take time to respond properly.

The more intimate the relationship becomes, the more these examples occur. In couples therapy, it is very frequent that partners blame each other for misunderstandings. The truth is that blaming another person won’t make the problem go away. Communication is the only solution. We’re all unique and have unique needs. The more you communicate with your partner, friend, or coworker, there will be less space for wrong interpretations.

 

How to Communicate with Success

The great thing about communication is that it’s a skill that everyone can practice. Even if you think that you’re not naturally good at communication, there are so many different ways to communicate that you’ll easily find the one that seems natural to you. Some people love expressing themselves through long, meaningful conversations, while others might need time to think first and they’ll come to you and share their point of view in a few sentences. That said, there is no good or bad way to communicate—as long as everyone is being respectful.

If you don’t feel comfortable sharing how you feel in a one-on-one conversation, you might feel better about the idea of writing down all your thoughts on a piece of paper. With intimate relationships, you can even think of songs that represent how you feel and open the conversation that way. Whatever works for you best.

 

1.Understand Yourself First

Before sharing how you feel or think with anyone else, talk to yourself first. If you feel triggered about something your partner has said, are you aware of the reason for this emotional reaction? If you feel unappreciated at work, have you thought about the certain situations that led to that result? Do these situations have something in common?

A lot of communication stops at finding the person to blame, which is not a solution. Knowing that your partner did something that hurt you will not help you feel better or prevent it from happening again. You will need to understand what you need in order to feel safe. Once you know what is troubling you, why, and what can be done about it, that can be considered finding the solution to the problem.

 

2.Be Clear About It

Different people communicate differently. That is why it’s important to be clear whenever you’re communicating with another person. This is especially true when communicating with your close friends and romantic partner, as we tend to believe that they know us so well that it’s easy for them to understand what we want to say.

A good piece of advice would be not to start a conversation until you’re sure about what you want to say. Not being clear on your intentions might lead to an even bigger problem and the other person might become confused or take further precautions because they’re not certain they understand the issue.

 

Open With a Monologue, Close With a Dialogue

For many people, it’s important to not be interrupted when talking about sensitive topics, which is completely fine. However, keep in mind that successful communication requires more than one person. After you’ve said what needed to be said, show you’re curious to hear what the other person thinks about it and if they have any questions. This will also prevent any misunderstandings in the future.

The best way to communicate is to invite another person openly to a safe space in which you both feel comfortable speaking your mind. If that space is only reserved for you or them, it will have consequences for your relationship. A great way to learn communication skills and ways to express yourself more authentically is through therapy, whether it’s for you as a couple or you alone. Once you learn how to communicate successfully, you’ll be able to connect better with people who matter to you and have more meaningful relationships with them.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Stop Stressing

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How to Stop Stressing About the Future

 

If your Google search for ‘how to stop stressing about the future’ led you here, you’ve come to the correct place. This article explores why we worry about events that have not happened and how to stop.

You’ve probably heard people talking about being anxious about the future. Anxiety is a common term when talking about the uncertainty of the future. Whether you’re stressed or anxious, feeling this way is definitely not something you enjoy. Is it possible to not stress about the future? Can you feel more calm when thinking about what’s next? Let’s take a look together.

 

Stop Ignoring What’s Stressing You

Do you remember the last time someone said to stop worrying about something? Well, did it work? Probably not. We cannot stop stressing about something just because we order our minds to do so. Even if we think of stress as a thought, it is challenging to control. 

We experience stress on an emotional and physical level as well. When you’re stressed, you might have a headache or your heart rate could change. People experience different symptoms when feeling stressed, so one solution can’t fit everyone. 

If something is stressing you, you’ll need to stop ignoring it. Stop running away from these issues or fears and face them in the best way you can. It will not be easy, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. 

Ask yourself what is causing you stress. Once you have a clear idea of your triggers, think about the best ways to approach them. During your boss’s performance review, list your accomplishments to reduce stress and acknowledge your efforts. If you are worried about family finances, talk to your partner about a short-term plan to feel more in control. 

 

Steps to Stop Stressing About the Future

If you’re looking for ways to relax and stop stressing, there are certain techniques that can help you. It’s up to you to choose the one that makes the most sense for you. Our recommendation is to try all of them and continue with the ones that prove to be effective. 

 

Meditate

You may improve your self-awareness and discover a positive outlook by practicing meditation. You can take a minute to focus on your breathing and clear your mind to meditate. You may find guided meditations on a variety of free websites and applications. Additionally, you can join sessions for guided mediation or collaborate with experts. To increase awareness and reduce worry, think about meditating every day.

 

Practice Grounding

Grounding techniques can help you concentrate on the here and now and your surroundings. You can focus on mindfulness and being present by taking note of your environment and emotions. Counting things, identifying colors, and spelling words aloud are a few examples of grounding strategies. For instance, to ground yourself, you can spell out your closest friend’s last name aloud or count the windows in a room.

 

Be More Grateful

Expressing appreciation or gratitude can help reduce anxiety and help you concentrate on the here and now. You can maintain your optimism and concentrate on the positive features of your circumstances. To show your gratitude, you might list the things you value the most in your life. Think about writing in a notebook all your blessings every morning or evening. Setting aside time to share your gratitude with others in your life can be extremely beneficial as well. You can even write gratitude cards for your loved ones and shower them with your love. 

 

Create Tactics for What You Can Control

Concentrating on the things you can control is one way to distract yourself from your worries. This means you will do all you can to make things better. You might feel more in control and more confident about other concerns if you start taking action. This action doesn’t have to be a complete solution to your problem. To relieve stress about not finding a job, you can improve your curriculum, create a new portfolio, or search different job sites. 

 

Stop Negative Talk

When you characterize yourself or your circumstances negatively or unrealistically, you are engaging in negative self-talk. This might involve persuading yourself that you lack the necessary skills or abilities when, in fact, you do not. Recognizing when you engage in negative self-talk is a crucial skill because it allows you to replace it with more constructive inner dialogue. When preparing for a job interview, for instance, you can try thinking, “I am capable and confident,” as opposed to, “I can’t do anything right.”

 

Take Care of Yourself

Concentrating on your physical health may lessen tension and enhance your mental well-being. This can be beneficial because lacking the right nutrients might impair concentration. Focusing on eating a healthy diet, sleeping well, and drinking enough water is essential to feeling better. You can take care of yourself by preparing a hot bath after a long, stressful day or reading a book while drinking a cup of your favorite tea. 

 

Consider Therapy

If you feel overwhelmed with stress and you’ve already tried all the recommendations from above, consider reaching out to a therapist. If you decide to start therapy, you will learn which anti-stress techniques work best for you. Besides that, you’ll also learn which are your triggers and which events are most stressful for you and why. For instance, a person who moved a lot as a child might feel overwhelmed with stress each time they need to change apartments as an adult. 

A therapist can provide you with the support you need and help alleviate all this stress. Trying different things on your own is okay, yet it doesn’t guarantee success. We’re all different, so what works best for your friend might not work at all for you. Make sure you’re willing to put in the work required to live a more fulfilled, positive life!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Deal With Toxic People

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How to Deal With Toxic People & Protect Yourself

 

Learning how to deal with toxic people is not an easy task. Toxic people can cause self-doubt and other problems in your personal and professional life. The closer the person is to you, their words and behavior will have a bigger impact on you.

When discussing toxic people, most people mention ex-boyfriends, old friends, and relatives they meet at family gatherings. How do you know whether a person is toxic or not? What can you do to protect yourself from a toxic person?

 

How to Identify a Toxic Person

If you know someone who is difficult and causes problems, they may be toxic. These people may stress and discomfort you and others while causing emotional and physical harm. 

Toxicity is not a mental illness. However, a personality disorder or other underlying psychological issues may be the source of toxic behavior. These include posttraumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, and personality disorders such as narcissistic, bipolar, histrionic, and antisocial.

 

Inconsistency

Experiencing both positive and negative moments is a natural part of being human. However, a toxic person is rarely reliable, and they act in unpredictable ways. They never fulfill their promises or responsibilities. You never know where you stand with them or what they’re going to do next. Since toxic people are inconsistent, it can be hard to feel stable or secure in a relationship. 

 

Seeking Attention

Have you noticed if this person constantly needs something from you? Toxic people always look for emotional support, whether through persistent phone calls, messages, or visits to your home. They will ask so much from you while they only provide a little in return. 

 

Don’t Respect Boundaries

A person is toxic if you have repeatedly shared your boundaries with them, and they just cannot respect them. Trust and the capacity to respect limits are the cornerstones of healthy partnerships. For toxic people, that is just not an option.

 

Using Manipulation to Get What They Want

Are you feeling manipulated? To get what they want, toxic people take advantage of others around them. This might include lying, twisting the facts, exaggerating, or omitting facts to influence your behavior or opinion. Even if it means causing harm to others, they will stop at nothing.

 

How to Protect Yourself from Toxic People

The most important thing to understand is that you cannot change a toxic person. That is how most of us fall into these patterns. We expect that if we do this or say that, the person will become aware of their impact on others. A toxic person will not change because of others. They prioritize taking care of themselves above all else, and often they will not question hurting others in the process.

That is why it’s important to learn how to deal with toxic people and protect yourself from them.

 

Confront Them

Don’t keep quiet and wait for someone to change their toxic behavior on their own. Point out their contradictions or false promises. Express your disapproval of their actions. This will show them that you are not naive and that you will not allow this behavior. However, be sure to confront them and not try to convince them, as there is a huge difference between these two. 

 

Suggest Seeking Help

You can’t help them, yet others can. You can direct them to helpful resources or suggest finding a therapist. Therapy can help them understand the causes of their actions and give them more effective coping mechanisms. However, if they refuse to acknowledge that they need help, don’t be surprised. Most toxic people will not be aware of how their behavior is affecting other people because they don’t care about it enough to think about it. 

 

Establish Clear Boundaries

Establishing boundaries for the relationship you have with this toxic person will safeguard you, even if it could make you uncomfortable at the beginning. For instance, tell them that you won’t see them again until they stop drinking or using drugs. Don’t forget that the toxic person in your life will not be pleased with the boundaries you have set and will likely resist and attempt to instill guilt in you.

 

Control Responses

You have no control over other people, but you do have control over how you react to their actions. A toxic person frequently tries to elicit a negative reaction from you. Refrain from giving them it. It might be beneficial to rehearse your approach to a specific scenario in advance. Don’t let them control you or hold yourself responsible for their actions.

 

Prioritize Yourself

Maintaining your mental and physical well-being is crucial. Focus on wholesome and encouraging interactions with other people who are not toxic. If you can’t avoid interacting with this person, make sure all you do and say is in your best interest. Lastly, if it’s affecting you too much, consider talking to a mental health expert to learn to set limits and understand your position in this relationship.

 

In Final Words

It might be difficult to deal with toxic people, yet you can handle these circumstances more skillfully if you have support from your therapist. To manage a toxic relationship and enhance emotional resilience, professional therapists provide tailored advice and coping mechanisms. 

Additionally, whether online or in person, an intern or coach can offer you insight and help you with advice. By using these resources, you may keep a more positive outlook and create useful coping strategies. This can also help you become more aware of the reason you’re staying close to this toxic person and gives you the strength to walk away from them and live a more fulfilled life. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Topics to Discuss With Your Boyfriend

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Topics to Discuss With Your Boyfriend Before Marriage

 

If you’re planning for the next big step in your relationship, there are certain topics to discuss with your boyfriend before marriage. Marriage and living with someone are the first two big milestones for most relationships. However, we are often so over the moon about spending our lifetime with this one special person that we forget there are certain challenges waiting for us along the way. 

This article will not focus on external events that can happen to couples and married folks. Instead, we’ll talk about the situations you can impact, such as important life decisions you will be taking together. Learning how the other side of the relationship feels about certain topics will allow you to get to know them truly. This way, you will be more confident in taking the next step and knowing you’re doing it with the right person.

 

Kids or No Kids?

For some, having children is the pinnacle of their lives, while for others, it is something they would rather avoid at all costs. The problem is that we often assume that others share our beliefs, especially if we are in love with them. 

Although you still don’t feel ready to have kids, it’s important to discuss it with your partner. You don’t have to put a deadline for having kids, yet it would make sense to know whether you’re both on the same page. Imagine spending five years together to realize your partner never wanted to have kids; for you, it’s becoming a priority. To avoid this, talk openly to your partner. Ask them if they see themselves in the future as parents, how they feel about parenting and anything else you find valuable. 

 

Rent or Buy?

Do you know that most marriages end because of finances? One example of a clear financial situation is defining your goals together.

Do you plan to get married and buy your own place in the near future? Discuss how much you should save monthly or annually to achieve this goal smoothly.

For those without immediate plans, ensure your partner understands your perspective and feelings on the matter.

Being open to their suggestions can help you decide what is best for your current situation. Make sure to consider your options from time to time, as your financial situation may change and your rent may rise.

 

What Are Your Deal Breakers? 

You can live with someone for years without being aware of their deal breakers. Invite your partner for a heart-to-heart conversation and show curiosity for things they don’t like. Avoid being judgemental.

You can even decide to take a few days to think about it and come up to each other once you’ve made a list of deal breakers. If some things on the list are an issue, make sure to find an alternative solution that works for both of you.

 

Family Matters

Whether you’re both very close to your families or not, it’s important to determine how to deal with any situation that involves your family. It’s best to discuss where you spend your holidays, how often you’ll both visit each other’s family, and topics to discuss with your boyfriend about inviting family members over before any complications arise.

If you feel tension with any of your partner’s family members, it’s best to address this as soon as possible. If you are afraid that your partner might not understand your point of view, make sure to explain to them you are looking for solutions and not trying to talk bad about someone they care about.

 

Conflict Resolution

In every relationship or marriage, there will be conflict. It’s completely normal that you disagree on certain things. However, it’s crucial to know how each of you prefers to resolve conflicts. One of you might want to talk right away, while the other one might feel the need to take some time to think first. 

There is no wrong way. What matters is the will to solve the conflict. If you can’t find a solution, consider talking to a relationship or marriage therapist who can provide you with efficient conflict resolution techniques. 

 

Time Alone

Find a method to accommodate each other’s need for solitude. Everyone needs it occasionally, even if it’s only a little bit. By understanding how much time you both need to unwind and how long it takes before one of you feels lonely. 

You should also find out what time alone means to each other. For some, it can mean going on a long bike ride. For others, it might just mean reading a book or watching TV in a separate part of the house.

 

Love Languages

Knowing and comprehending how the person you love displays and needs to feel love is crucial. If they express their love for you with little gifts and you for them through words, it’s important to recognize this so that you both know how to show each other how much you value them. Gifts, touch, acts, and words are the four primary languages of love. 

You will have a much better understanding of how to love each other if you talk about which one is more important to you. Asking, “When do you feel most loved by me?” before marriage is a simple method for doing this.

 

Chores and Responsibilities

When it comes to chores and responsibilities, negotiation is essential. If you’re honest and direct about it, it will prevent any disputes or animosity later. Be upfront and reach a mutually beneficial deal if you detest doing the trash and enjoy doing the dishes.

Take into account all the variables while examining the division of labor in your household. For example, who works more hours? Who spends more time at home? Whose employment offers greater flexibility? If there are chores you both hate doing, you can determine which days they are your partner’s responsibility and which days you’re going to have to take care of them. 

 

Conclusion

Relationships and marriage take work. There will always be topics to discuss with your boyfriend, yet certain topics should be addressed before making big changes together. Knowing what each of you thinks about these topics will allow you to get to know each other better and be able to give each other what you need in difficult moments.

Don’t forget to reach out for additional support if you feel overwhelmed with certain situations. Marriage therapy can help you both feel more connected and see things from a different perspective.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Fear of Being Alone

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Fear of Being Alone: Do You Really Need a Partner? 

 

Experiencing the fear of being alone is more common than you think. Though coping mechanisms vary from person to person, this fear may be experienced by men and women of all ages. One person might engage in a series of superficial flings with different people. While another might decide to stop going on dates to avoid getting hurt. 

There is no doubt that this fear can have a significant impact on your life, whether positive or negative. Instead of jumping into tactics to meet new people and never experience this fear again, we’ve decided to take a look at this fear closely to understand what’s so scary about it and what we can do to soothe ourselves when experiencing it. 

 

Why Do We Fear Being Alone? 

Humans are social beings. We are born into our families, we go to school with our peers, and then we socially engage in groups that share our interests or work in the same environment as we do. From an early age, we are looking for a place to belong and are adjusting to different situations in order to be like everyone else. During all this time, we’re rarely taught the importance of being alone.

Alone time is crucial for concentration, creativity, analysis, and so much more. Only when alone are we truly able to think about our decisions, needs, and desires without being interrupted or impacted by someone else. So, what is so scary about being alone? Do we fear being alone just because we’re not used to it? Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. 

As it is with everything, whenever we’re not able to mirror what we see the society around us doing, we feel like we don’t belong. That can lead to stress and anxiety and put additional pressure on yourself. For instance, if all your friends and family members are in long relationships and marriages. You will feel the need to do the same more than a person surrounded by many single friends. 

Besides that, your set of beliefs will be a major determining factor of whether or not you feel the fear of being alone. Certain cultures are more accepting of the idea of people in their adult age being single. While others will put high expectations on young people to get married and have children as soon as possible. 

Lastly, there’s also your personal experience. If you grew up always being alone while your parents were working hard. You might feel a strong urge to fill this void when you grew up. On the other hand, if you were born into a big family, maybe spending time alone was just not possible. So you don’t feel comfortable staying alone now that you’re an adult. 

 

Help! I Feel Alone Again

It’s crucial to differentiate between being alone and feeling alone. Many people feel comfortable being alone in their apartment or going on a vacation. It’s not the same as feeling alone. When you feel alone, it’s an intense feeling of having no one around you. You might feel alone because you haven’t been in a meaningful relationship or because you’re with someone who is unable to meet your emotional needs. 

So, if you feel alone, regardless of your situation, what can you do? The good news is that fearing something doesn’t require a detailed strategy with actions to eliminate that fear in a certain amount of time. Feeling fear doesn’t require you to think about the future to solve it. It requires you to stay in the present.

When you feel alone next time and want that feeling to stop, ask yourself what you can do with that fear. Maybe you can journal about it, paint it on your white walls, express it through your outfit, sing it under the shower, or meditate in silence. Most of our fears result from the unknown. If you get to know your fear, maybe it will not be so scary anymore. 

There are numerous ways you can have a dialogue with your fear, most of which will not require words. If you love cooking, why not prepare a meal that you need when in a state like this? If you are skilled in communication, why not talk to your fear? Give it human-like characteristics, sit it next to you, and ask it questions. You might be surprised by what comes out of that exercise. 

 

Is It Okay to Be Alone? 

Anything that makes you feel positive is more than okay. The most important thing in life is to remind ourselves that all decisions we take should be based on what we need and not what is expected of us. You don’t have to find yourself a partner and start a family just to meet someone else’s expectations. If you feel fulfilled by the life you chose, there’s no reason to doubt it for a second.

However, if you feel the need to meet someone and it’s not happening. It’s completely fine to try different approaches to get a different result. The best piece of advice for someone in this situation is to consider talking to a therapist. When you create space to talk about your emotional needs, you will be able to understand more clearly what you truly want. 

A therapist can help you resolve any traumas that happened in the past and might become more evident once you start a relationship. Also, you will learn to set healthy boundaries in therapy and discover who you are without expectations conditioning you to be someone else. 

 

Final Words

If you fear being alone, it would be a beneficial idea to share it with a friend you trust. Sometimes, our fears become a lot more insignificant when we talk about them with others. This might also help you realize you’re not the only one feeling this way. Being vulnerable in front of people you trust can bring you even closer together. 

Consider therapy if you want your situation to change in the near future or if you wish to understand why you fear being alone. Finally, don’t run away from that fear. If it’s here, get to know it. Don’t forget that what we don’t know has more control over us than the things we do know. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Tips on How to Know If You Have Anxiety or Depression?

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Tips on How to Know If You Have Anxiety or Depression?

 

This video is here to remind you that you are not alone, and to help you understand how to know if you have anxiety or depression.

Anxiety and depression are two of the most common mental health challenges, and it’s important to understand their signs so you can take the first steps toward feeling better. While they can overlap, they’re distinct conditions with unique symptoms.

Anxiety often involves excessive worry, racing thoughts, physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweaty palms, and a feeling of being on edge. It might make you avoid situations, struggle to sleep, or feel constantly overwhelmed.

Depression, on the other hand, is characterized by persistent sadness, lack of energy, a loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, and difficulty concentrating. You might feel hopeless, withdrawn, or like even small tasks are exhausting.

If you’re unsure which applies to you—or if it might be both—this video will help clarify things. I’ll break down the signs of anxiety and depression in greater detail, help you tell the difference, and offer actionable steps you can take to start your journey toward healing.

Stay until the end for tips on how to access support and tools that can truly make a difference.

 

 

🌟 Start your journey here with the Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety and Stress webinar 🌟 

quick ways to reduce anxiety and stress

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.