Millennial Problems for Therapists

Top Millennial Problems for Therapists

Top Millennial Problems for Therapists

 

Extra, extra! Read all about the top Millennial problems for therapists!

Do Millennials require better communication for sex, or would most Millennials rather just be on their cell phone than sharing intimacy?

Get an INSIDER’S View of What Millennials Discuss Most Often with their Therapists!

In case you weren’t aware, Millennials are a very pro-therapy, growth and self-exploration generation. It wasn’t too long ago that people reported shame or embarrassment when seeing a therapist. However, I have witnessed countless clients over the last 10 years pick up their phone during a session and say, “let me call you back, because I am in therapy right now.”

Millennials have helped normalize therapy in the public sphere! I can’t even remember feeling a stigma when I decided I wanted to go to therapy as a career.

Therapy is no longer only for people that are “mentally broken.” It’s now recognized for the enormous benefits it provides in helping people work through issues, manage relationships, and try to better themselves. This change is incredibly positive!

Millennials take pride in getting outside help when they need it. Depression, anxiety, and trauma are not things people must struggle with alone anymore.

As more people see therapists and discuss their mental health issues online, we see recurring themes across the country that surround intimacy and romantic relationships.

This commonality is likely tied to changes all of us have witnessed with regard to how we connect and communicate. The more we become culturally competent and aware of how others are living, the more we realize how similar we all are.

Millennials’ openness around their treatment can benefit everyone willing to learn from their experiences.

Here are some of the top Millennial problems for therapists, particularly when it comes to intimacy:

  1. Technology and the Lack of Intimacy

It’s a crazy statistic, but it’s true. Jean M. Twenge’s article in The Archives of Sexual Behavior, reports that “Millennials are more likely to report having no sexual partners as adults (15%) compared to GenX’ers born in the 1960s and 1970s (6%).” That’s right, Millennials have less sex and fewer sexual partners than in previous generations.

Why the decline in sexual encounters? A lot of people point fingers at the advent of technology and how it affects the way we socialize. Decades ago, people interacted almost solely in person.

People went out to mingle at bars, restaurants, and sporting events. They spent time in close proximity to each other. The odds of intimate physical connections were higher, because more contacts were being made.

Millennials do a significant amount of interacting digitally.

Whether it’s texting, commenting and liking on social media, or even playing online video games, Millennials interact with each other much more, but not always in person.

People today can get social satisfaction out of spending time online together without the hassle of going out. Of course, the way we communicate isn’t the same.

One of the commonly discussed topics between Millennials and their therapists is the lack of intimacy in their relationships.

Millennials report feeling less connected to the world around them. Even though they have plenty of people to text, they feel they lack close friendships, and even dating is often regarded as a superficial interaction.

Millennial Problems

  1. Mismatching Sex Drives Between Couples

Even though Millennials are having less sex than past generations, open modern attitudes around sex have made people more comfortable addressing differences in sex drive.

In the past, sexually incompatible partners were more likely to have struggled in silence with physical intimacy issues. Gender roles were more restricted, and in general, there was limited freedom of expression around sex drives.

Today, sexual compatibility is recognized as a vital component of a healthy relationship.

Millennial women are less inclined than their female predecessors to be sexually unfulfilled, and men report wanting deep physical connections with their partners. 

Even though differences in the sexual drive between partners is more readily discussed, it’s still not an easy issue.

Many Millennial relationships struggle under the weight of expectations in the bedroom. With the help of their therapists, Millennials are learning to navigate the sensitive waters of sexual expectations where collaboration, creativity, and curiosity are of utmost importance.

  1. The Strain of Media Expectations on Relationships

We’ve already touched on how digital communications are affecting Millennial intimacy. Another effect of us always being connected these days is that we’re constantly exposed to media input.

Psychologists and therapists still don’t know the extent to which media exposure affects our thoughts and attitudes. What we do know, though, is that it changes how we look at relationships.

Think about it…Millennials grew up watching romantic comedies where love and intimacy were fun, constantly exciting, and always worked out in the end. The result is that many Millennials feel like their real relationships don’t match up to their ideals of what they should be.

The prevalence of pornography has had a huge influence on Millennial sexual relationships. It’s changed the way many view things like consent, sexual power dynamics, and even what constitutes as appropriate sexual etiquette.

Therapists report that Millennials often say they feel some level of disappointment in their romantic relationships. They constantly want more. Millennials are perpetually looking for a deeper connection, which often leads to constant let down and frustrated partnerships.

They can, however, utilize therapy to develop more realistic expectations of themselves and the people they date.

  1. The Paradox of Choice

It’s easy for people on the outside to tell Millennials they’ve got it easy. They’re constantly told that barriers to dating are much lower today, that there is a more open exchange of ideas around sex and love, and that no one has to settle. What Millennials encounter, though, is the Paradox of Choice.

Barry Schwartz, the author of “The Paradox of Choice: My More is Less” explains that an abundance of choice often leads to disappointment. Millennials, who have more choice than ever before obsess over which choice to make. They can be frozen by fear of making the wrong decision. 

This paradox has a huge impact on our intimate relationships. How can you fully commit yourself to someone if you’re always wondering if there’s someone better out there waiting for you? 

As a result, Millennials turn to their therapists for help. Therapists speak often with Millennials who have a hard time with commitment and developing deep connections with partners. It’s important to develop an understanding of needs to help make decision making easier.

Practice Self-Compassion

Every generation has to deal with unique circumstances of their time. Millennials are no different, and the generations to follow will have to face new challenges too. 

Be grateful for the openness and acceptance of growth and self-improvement through therapy. The more we seek answers, the more likely we are to get them. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Breakups

How To Deal With A Breakup!

How to Deal With a Breakup! 

 

I wrote this blog post to help those people who feel like it’s the end of the world learn how to deal with a breakup! 

Breakups hurt, because people aren’t skilled at communicating why they no longer want to be in their relationship. They are especially painful if you were living with your partner and your entire pattern of living changes. 

If you haven’t learned it yet, throughout interpersonal relationships, it is important to OPENLY communicate. Why?

 

Well, if you don’t have the difficult conversations about what you need during a relationship, you can create a system of long-term dysfunction, causing the pain of breaking up to be tumultuous and traumatic. 

The beginning of love is so beautiful and the end is often so tragic, but does it have to be? At Life Coaching and Therapy, we believe that loving yourself and your relationships is a mission worth prioritizing! 

We long for belonging, long for touch, and we long to matter! We also want to break from the suffering or that “longing for connection.” But it isn’t worth staying with someone who has broken up with you. 

Where in your body do you “need” them? 

Notice that place in your body and tell your therapist! There is a message there for you to uncover that will help your growth. 

What is the core universal need that is underneath your strategy of marriage, monogamy, or romantic partnership – OTHER than this specific person? 

Breakups

What Are Universal Needs? 

A Person (your partner) is NOT a universal need. 

Needs are qualities that connect us all as human beings, and we all share. Look up Nonviolent Communication for an inventory of all needs. 

I use Tony Robbin’s 6 Human Needs

  1. Certainty
  2. Uncertainty
  3. Significance
  4. Connection 
  5. Growth 
  6. Contribution

I believe that other than these six needs, every other behavior comes from an attempt to meet one of these. All anyone is ever trying to do is to meet their needs. 

Therefore, your partner is NOT a need. 

Underneath “I want to be in a romantic partnership with ______” is a need such as:

  • I want to matter
  • I want pleasure
  • I want to be seen, felt, and heard
  • I want connection
  • I want certainty of quality time

 

ALL OF US WANT TO BE SEEN, FELT, and HEARD. Even those people that say they don’t, often, there is someone who they would like to be seen, felt, or heard by. 

All of us have the exact same amount of time, so if someone you are relating to says that they don’t have the time to prioritize you right now, then you are not their priority right now. 

IDENTIFY YOUR NEEDS!

Express them with words and with consensual actions. 

If you decide to split up, there may be pain, and pain can be a pathway back to ourselves. 

If you try to prevent the pain by staying in a relationship when it is not fulfilling your needs, you will ultimately get hurt in the future. 

Breakups don’t have to be the end of the world, and you can learn how to deal with a breakup and still be happy and ok on your own.

The key is to remain accountable and be open about the pain and the impact you are causing. Sometimes this can help mitigate harsh truths that are said without graciousness or love in the “heat of the moment.” 

 

How To Deal With A Breakup

You will get through this, even though it may not feel like it mentally. 

Disconnect from destructive thoughts and let the waves of emotion come in and go back out.

DON’T focus on your obsessions though (easier said than done, but necessary for your health and growth).

Breakups

Encourage yourself to do the WORK necessary to become a happy, positive person who DOES NOT NEED the affirmation of others to feel good inside. 

First off, begin weight training and doing aerobic exercise (rowing, running, etc.) in addition to stretching and yoga. The weights and cardio will do wonders for your well being, releasing powerful endorphins and boosting your self esteem. If you abuse working out to the point where you are no longer experiencing the highs from it, then this is no longer a recipe for a healthy lifestyle. 

If you are still feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or find it hard to do your day-to-day activities talk to a mental health practitioner. You may need to consider medication.

 

No matter how disciplined you are, your nature is your nature, and it can be a difficult battle. Daily exercise will help; however, the correct supplements or prescriptions will help fill in those valleys, which can be self sabotaging. 

If you are you obsessed with fixing other people – like your ex – stop! You need to fill the hole in YOUR heart. Watch my video on codependency to rule out if you are one of those people trying to fix everyone.

 

Find two to three new hobbies instead. Meetup.com is a must for a breakup. You can often find multiple options in a city near you! 

 

What are your tips for how to deal with a breakup? 

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Breakups

Practice Personal Accountability

Practice Personal Accountability

 

What if I told you that your defensiveness is getting in the way of your growth and pleasure, and taking personal accountability can change your life?

When you become accountable for your actions instead of getting defensive [or sarcastic, or aggressive], you create opportunities for more growth and more connections!

Easy Ways to Practice Personal Accountability: 

Look for Clues

  • Our subconscious often wants us to go back to “why it didn’t work.” We are constantly looking for clues of failure…STOP that! 
  • Turn the negative “detective” part of you into something that searches for the WIN! 
  • Look for the breadcrumbs that others who have the life you want have left behind.

Don’t Blame

  • Whose fault is it? Blaming our circumstances, our spouse, our parents will not help. Often, we don’t look in the mirror and take full responsibility for our life. 
  • Take ownership and accountability of every single thing in your life and you will feel so much freer! If things go well, it’s on me. I get to take full responsibility for all of it!
  • One way to start is noticing all the times you say “yes” when you really mean “no.” 

Find The Good 

  • It’s so easy to find what is wrong. Try to make your obsession to find the good or the win-win in every situation. 
  • Instead of just giving in, get creative. 

Be proactively positive instead of reactively negative.

Being an adult is a balance beam walk between authenticity, boundaries, and understanding the pain of ourselves and those around us. 

Responsibility takes work. It takes sitting down and reviewing our lives. We have to look for patterns and have the courage to analyze our mistakes and determine how to do better.

Do you often get defensive with your partner? Or do you take accountability?

Practice Personal Accountability

Personal accountability helps us to rewire our nervous system to experience ownership and responsibility in a number of positive ways! 

When we own our decisions and remain responsible for all of the times we spoke or acted out of integrity, our capacity to handle stress, conflict, and intense emotions increases. 

Personal accountability enables more stability and security, and creates a pattern of wanting to own more accountability.

 

What are your favorite ways that you have been accountable in your life? 

I’m always looking for new suggestions! 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide: Unleash Self Pleasure to Heal Yourself and Transform Your Sex Life

 

I’m Amanda Pasciucco (pronounced Pa-shoe-ko), and as a certified sex therapis and founder of a life coaching and therapy practice, I’ve met many couples that felt bored in their relationship and wanted to spice things up, which is why I created The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide.

Not only that, but I have met hundreds of individuals who were not having fun in their dating life or while masturbating.

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

These are problems I have solved for clients many times, and I can help you too. I have been practicing psychotherapy and couples’ therapy for more than 10 years. I am a natural matchmaker at heart. My passion is helping others find the love of their lives, find THEIR pleasure, and learn how to love themselves.

What I share with clients helps them transform their sex lives and relationships, and now I’m going to share my best techniques, practices and beliefs with you.

So, are you ready?

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

 

It’s Time to Improve Your Intimate Life with The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide!

I am going to teach you a type of pleasure that you will grow to crave.

Even if you are self conscious or feel like you have tried everything and are hopeless.

It’s time to find your sexual confidence! It’s time to find your inner flirt! 

Find out where you may be BLOCKING yourself due to negative belief systems you have about your body or your desires! 

Why do some people have what you want? The difference between you and them may be some knowledge and a little confidence. 

Download the e-guide below and forward it to any friends who can benefit from this valuable advice!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. Or if you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

The Pleasure Practice Amanda Pasciucco

eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips

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eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips

Amanda Pasciucco, The Sex Healer, and founder of Life Coaching and Therapy, in West Hartford, CT brings you free eguides on relationship and sex tips.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Amanda has more than 15,000 client hours of experience. She has helped hundreds of distant couples reignite their erotic spark after only a few sessions.

Additionally, Amanda is a national educator, speaker and is featured in CNN, Playboy, Men’s Health, Maxim, Daily Mail and more!

She has helped transform the intimate lives of those struggling with infertility, sexless relationships, low-desire, arousal, orgasm, and penetration problems.

Amanda shares her best, most effective techniques, practices and beliefs.

Are you ready to download, read and practice these tips at home?

It is time to improve your intimate life!

 

Free eguide on Relationship and Sex tips

Click to Download: The Pleasure Practice – A Guide to Unleashing Self Pleasure to Heal Yourself and Transform Your Sex Life

 

If you know someone that would benefit from free eguides on relationship and sex tips, please share this information with them!

 

Check out Amanda’s Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

 

Learn more about Life Coaching and Therapy. 

 

Amanda Pasciucco

 

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Spice Up Your Marriage

Spice Up Sexless Marriage (SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE)

 

Having trouble to keep the spark alive or reviving the spark, and that has resulted in a sexless marriage? You need to help how to spice up sex or spice up your relationship now… or face a break. You may have a lack of intimacy among other intimacy issues in your sexless relationship, but you can save marriage with knowledge in sexual communication! You just need help sparking romance and breathing life back into your relationship. Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified therapist, shares her tips to success!

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

Playboy article on sexual choking

Sexual choking uncovered in Playboy

Amanda Pasciucco was interviewed for a Playboy magazine article about sexual choking.

So You’re Into Choking…

Written by

BRIDGET PHETASY

One of the common questions I’m asked, both as a woman and the Playboy Advisor, goes something like this: “My girlfriend is into choking. What’s up with that?”

As someone who occasionally enjoys a little light gripping of the neck, that question is something worth exploring because, to be honest, I don’t have the answer. In fact, the question alone brings up feelings of internal shame and embarrassment. Is there something wrong with me? I’m not alone in my confusion. As one man told me for this story, “I like choking, but question women who want to be choked too hard. That’s not because I’m judging, but because I wonder why anyone would want to feel like they’re about to die?”

To come to grip with this increasingly popular sex act—which in its varying forms ranges from breathplay to erotic asphyxiation—I decided to speak with six experts on the subject.

One thing that stood out right away is this important warning: Erotic choking is dangerous no matter your level of engagement or expertise. Before we dive into the physiological and psychological factors at play, let’s start with safety.

Across the board, experts urges extreme caution “We get a lot of mixed messages because of the depiction of it in porn,” says certified sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson, “but sexual choking or breath play is really dangerous. Even in the BDSM community, it’s never safe. There is always a lethal risk.” “Because of the risk, the absolute safest way to practice this activity is to keep it as a fantasy,” Heather McPherson, a licensed marriage therapist explains. “Breath play, erotic choking and erotic asphyxiation are generally terms recognized under the umbrella of edgeplay. This type of activity is recognized as high-risk even for experienced individuals.” And clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet says, “The only way to ensure safety is to not participate in this at all.”

But if you still insist on experimenting with breath play, certified sex therapist and author Amanda Pasciucco says to “take a class on the subject. Choking is an easy way to have fun and explore with a partner, but there is definitely a safe way and a dangerous way to choke. Whatever you do, do not put pressure on the trachea.”

McPherson advises, “the person performing this activity should be trained in CPR, highly educated in the physiological effects and keenly aware of the risk involved. It’s important to stay attuned to your partner’s responses and to communicate to each other throughout the experience. Discuss all of this long before play takes place and establish a verbal safe word and non-verbal safe action.”


So what exactly is going on physiologically when a person gets choked? Well, you’re literally robbing your brain of oxygen. “This could bring about a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state. Hypoxia can occur if you reduce oxygen intake or if you reduce blood flow to the brain. It can make a person lightheaded, giddy and can allegedly intensify an orgasm,” explains McPherson. The rush of oxygen after the release of a choke timed with climax can create “a different kind of orgasm that isn’t replicated in vanilla sex or masturbation,” says Overstreet. “The pleasure-seeking center of the brain gets pushed into overdrive during erotic choking. Pushing the limit and walking the thin line between breathing or not breathing can send a powerful surge of endorphins throughout the body.”

The psychological effect of erotic choking is almost more powerful than the physical, although the interplay of sex and death and chemistry is what makes this practice so intoxicating. One man confessed to me, “I’m in to it giving but I hate receiving—talk about control issues.” A woman said, “For me, it gives me the ability to just lose control for a little while. I feel like I’m always in such control of whatever I’m doing it’s nice to be able to release and let someone else have the ability to take over for those few moments.”

This woman’s experience reflects a pattern observed by the experts working with thousands of individuals for decades. “For women who are being choked, it’s liberating to give up control and trust someone with your life,” says Anderson. “For men who enjoy choking it’s about what a woman is willing to let him do and the fact that this woman trusts him with her life. Both sexes get off on getting as close to death as you can—and cheating it.”

“Through my years of experience with my private practice I have learned a great deal about the correlation between one’s sexuality and their beliefs and attitude on death. An example: many individuals who fear death have a fear of sex. One’s own relationship to death is almost always reflected in one’s sexuality. This includes fetishes such as erotic choking,” says Dr. Stephanie Hunter Jones.

”Often, we do things sexually because we know it turns our partner on. That fact in and of itself can be a turn on for us—knowing that we (our bodies) are supplying the pleasure,” says Dr. Debra Laino. “The control of taking someone’s life (breath) away and then giving it back to them is exhilarating for some. For some it is the depth of love making, which includes a different level of trust and intimacy.”

The vast majority of the 30 women I interviewed enjoyed an occasional light erotic choke, but that seems to be the threshold for most women; less than a third of them express an interest in exploring anything beyond that such as ties or a full choke. My girlfriend summed it up in a nutshell when she said, “Powerlessness, trust and pleasure.”

The BDSM community’s mantra is “Safe, Sane and Consensual.” One man broke that down saying, “For me, as an element of a power play, erotic choking can be fun. As someone who is dominant in the bedroom, I can be into choking with a few essential things in mind: a suggestion by my partner that it is desirable; establishment of a safe word and safe action (three taps on my hip or a pillow; and sufficient awareness of human anatomy. Always focus pressure on sides of neck and avoid pressure to trachea.”

It’s the latter that you must take precautions with during breath play. It’s all too easy to accidentally cause real injury while role-playing. In order to avoid injuries and misunderstandings, make sure it’s always consensual; if a man I didn’t know that well started choking me, it would scare the shit out of me.

Make sure you do your homework. Find an expert to teach you the correct way to engage in breath play. Many local sex-toy shops offer classes in various forms of kink and there are many “experts” online—but as you would when shopping for any kind of expertise online, exercise caution and be discerning about whom you might meet in real life.

“This can be a dangerous pleasure. Never use alcohol or drugs when engaging in this play,” says Jones. “Remember, this type of play can become highly addictive and as with all addictions, can leave an individual with a craving of needing more and more to satisfy them.”

But if just reading this piece gives you a half chub, there’s nothing wrong with you. If you want to explore it, that’s perfectly natural, and I highly recommend it—but do so with caution.

 

 

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do