Divorce Therapy

All The Benefits of Divorce Therapy For Couples With Kids

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All The Benefits of Divorce Therapy For Couples With Kids

 

Separating from someone is never easy, especially if you’re a married couple considering whether divorce therapy is needed to manage all the emotional chaos you and your family are going through. Without a doubt, going through a divorce will affect you even more if you’re married with kids. 

As you’re trying to work towards separation with your spouse, it’s vital to constantly keep in mind how every decision will impact your children. For them, divorce will cause a range of emotions, from confusion and sadness to anxiety and frustration if they are not the main focus of their parents in such situations. 

Many married couples might think that divorce therapy is unnecessary if they both agreed that the divorce is the best outcome for them, however when married with children, there is an incredible value of having a therapist helping your family find the best solution for everyone involved.  

1. Your Kids Are Included In All Your Decisions

There are many couples who will wrongly assume that if they both agree on getting a divorce, their children will not be affected emotionally. Unfortunately, this can be further from the truth. You and your spouse can even stay best friends after the divorce, yet the change will have an impact on your children. 

They might not show it immediately or talk to you openly about it, yet changing the perspective of home for a child is never easy. Even moving to another city can be very stressful for them, then imagine how separation of their parents will affect them.

You should also think about suggesting a separate therapy for your kids to ensure they have space to talk to someone they will build trust with and get good tools to manage successfully the situation they are in. Regardless of them being in therapy or not, you and your spouse should start divorce therapy as soon as you decide to get a divorce. A divorce counselor can help you see the options that would be more beneficial for your children than the ones you are considering. 

2. Finding A New Normal

During a divorce, you will probably be caught up in all the emotional and bureaucratic chaos that it involves, and thinking about finding a new normal for you and your kids will require some time and energy. With the therapist’s help, you will be able to set quality foundations for your family. From basic activities such as preparing breakfast in a new apartment to agreeing with your partner on days to pick up kids from school.

If you haven’t found the calm and will to give your family a fresh start, it will be almost impossible that your children can do it without you. As parents, you both have the responsibility to ensure your kids feel safe and loved during the divorce and most importantly, after the divorce as well.

3. More Capacity for Open Conversations

When in divorce therapy, you and your spouse will go over all the issues, which also include the uncomfortable and painful ones. This means that once you discuss it in your therapist’s office, you can talk about it in front of your kids without the fear of it leading to a heated discussion with your partner. 

For instance, you might have already talked to your partner about how you will handle holidays and vacations in the following year. So once you arrive home, you can include your children in that conversation as well. This will help them feel heard during the separation of their parents. And also allow them to have the space to speak their minds and share their concerns. 

4. Setting An Example for Your Kids

Therapy is so much more than just reaching out for help when in crisis. When you and your spouse decide to go to divorce therapy. You are teaching your kids about the importance of mental and emotional health. From a young age, your children will be aware that talking about how they feel in difficult situations can make them feel better and provide them with the tools they need to be happy again. 

That’s why it’s crucial that you and your spouse are not hiding the fact that you’re in divorce therapy. Speak openly about it in front of your kids and share only the information you both agree is necessary. Also, make sure you keep in mind that you’re all a part of the team working towards the same goal. 

5. Building a Friendship with Your Ex-Partner

Once your divorce is finalized, your spouse will convert to your ex-partner. However, they will still be a parent to your children, so it’s essential that you both continue respecting each other and involving each other in conversations with your kids. Regardless of the reason for divorce, your kids should have both parents present in their lives.

With therapy, you and your partner will learn how to become friends who have their children’s best interests at heart. This will take time and will not come overnight. So it’s worth considering continuing therapy even once the divorce is finalized. While you’re both trying to figure it out, try to keep your kids out of it. Don’t involve them in your arguments and never turn them against your spouse. 

Instead, focus your energy on building a friendship with your ex-partner that will help your children grow into confident, loved. And secure young people who will have their parents by their side at all times. 

In Final Words

Getting a divorce is not something you’d ever wish for yourself, yet it happens. If you’re currently going through a divorce or thinking about getting one. Consider suggesting your spouse go to a divorce therapist. After all, they will help you get through your divorce. And also talk to you about any emotional issues you might have from before that are affecting you in your romantic life. 

With therapy, you will both become better partners in parenting. Better parents to your children, and better persons in your lives. And feeling good about yourself. Even in times like this, will make your children happy and build even a stronger bond with them.

 

If you want to improve your communication skills, even while divorcing, get connect:

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

A Beginners Guide To Sexual Submission

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A Beginners Guide To Sexual Submission

 

Sexual Submission is very important to many that I work with.

Whether you are looking to sexually submit to someone or interested in the definition of sexual submission. As a beginner, this guide is for you.

You will learn the techniques to assess and ask yourself what you need to dive into sexual submission in your life!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

 

 

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

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Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

What to know if youre a male virgin

What To Know If YouRe A Male Virgin [Cis Het Men!]

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What To Know If YouRe A Male Virgin [Cis Het Men!]

 

You asked a question in the comments about male virginity.

Apparently I hadn’t considered men and v card and virginity status.

What does this mean?

What to know if you’re a male virgin and what to do with your V CARD is something we will go over!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Sex Therapy for Premature Ejaculation and Erection Issues

Sex Therapy for Premature Ejaculation and Erection Issues

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Gender Nonconforming & The Meaning Behind It

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Gender Nonconforming & The Meaning Behind It

 

For those who still haven’t heard of gender nonconforming, it is a term given to people who don’t conform with the gender norms expected of them. Typically, gender nonconforming refers to gender expressions or presentation, yet it can also refer to behavior, preferences, and roles that simply don’t conform to these gender norms. However, if someone is gender-nonconforming it doesn’t imply that a person is transgender or nonbinary, although a person can be both. 

Gender Expectations

Gender expectations are something that a gender non-conforming person will not conform with. They are the roles, dress, behavior, and appearance society expects from certain genders. So, we’ll have women in a specific society where it’s expected of them to shave their legs, while men might be expected not to show vulnerability. The majority of the time, most of us will not conform to those gender expectations. So we’ll have women who choose not to shave their legs and men who show their vulnerability and wear dresses. 

Gender expectations will be different depending on the society and culture, so what might be considered as gender nonconforming in one culture might not be that in another one. For instance, in the American culture, these would be some of the gender nonconformity examples: 

  • men showing emotions and tenderness,
  • women wearing suits on their wedding day instead of dresses,
  • men wearing eyeliner,
  • women pursuing careers instead of marriage or motherhood,
  • men shaving under their armpits,
  • women being assertive.

By looking at these standards, most people are gender nonconforming because probably few people would conform fully to these gender expectations. Would this mean that we’re all gender-nonconforming? Not necessarily. We say that someone is gender-nonconforming when they are intentionally subverting these gender norms. 

Gender Identity

Gender identity refers to a person’s internalized psychological experience of being female or male, and gender nonconformity is about the degree to which a person’s appearance, behavior, interests. And subjective self-concept deviate from the conventional norms the society uses for masculinity or femininity. 

The Gender roles differ from culture to culture. For instance, in the American culture, gender roles would determine:

  • which gender should pursue another romantically,
  • also which gender should be the breadwinner or the only provider of a household,
  • which gender should take care of domestic duties.

Many people will not conform to these gender roles which would be an example of gender nonconformity. For instance, a woman might have a successful career while the man stays at home and takes care of the family. Or, a woman can invite a man on a date. 

Gender Conforming or Gender Nonconforming? 

So, are these your only two options – gender-conforming or gender-nonconforming? Keep in mind that the term gender-conforming is often used without thinking about it. As we’ve already said, the majority of people will not conform fully to the gender expectations mentioned above. We will adjust conform to ones in some way and then subvert the other ones. If you’re uncertain about what you would choose, it probably means that gender conformity is not that big deal for you. In other words, you are quite satisfied with living your life authentically. Regardless of whether it matches the expectations of your gender or not. 

Anyone can be gender nonconforming as it’s not the same as being nonbinary, however, a person can be both gender-nonconforming and nonbinary. Simply put, a person doesn’t have to be nonbinary or transgender to be considered gender non-conforming. For instance, cisgender men might decide to wear dresses as an expression of their gender. Yet this doesn’t immediately imply that he’s nonbinary. It depends on the person’s choice.

You will hear people who will say that a nonbinary person has to be gender non-conforming because they don’t conform to the gender binary or any expectations for their gender. In reality, it depends on what the person chose for themselves. You are the only one who has the right to decide what will apply to you and what won’t. 

Gender Nonconforming In Practice

Depending on your choice, your gender-nonconforming actions can be big or small. Let’s keep in mind that gender nonconformity greatly depends on the cultural context. If in your culture, women are expected to grow their leg hair and not shave it, fitting this norm wouldn’t be gender conforming. However, if you were a woman living in a culture where society expects you to shave your leg, deciding not to do it would be a gender nonconformity action. 

An action of gender nonconformity can be wearing “men’s” clothing instead of “women’s”. Yet it doesn’t have to be like that for everyone. It might also look like wearing androgynous clothing. Gender nonconformity can extend to hairstyles, makeup/no makeup, grooming practices, etc. Besides gender expression, it might also include attitudes, gestures, gender roles, and so on. 

When compared to genderqueer or genderfluid, gender non-conforming is more about fender expression than gender identity. If you’re genderqueer, it means that your gender identity falls outside of heterosexual, cisgender norms. On the other hand, if you’re genderfluid, it means that having a gender identity will change and shift for you over time. Some people will use the term gender nonconforming to even describe their gender identity. All of these options actually imply that each person can decide what will work for them and what doesn’t. And all that works for them might not work for the next person. 

Think of it as a broad term that includes feminine, masculine, and androgynous traits, and sometimes even a mixture of all three. It’s the perfect term for those who enjoy playing around with dressing or gender expression in certain ways yet are not looking for a certain word to describe their gender identity. So, you will need to find what works for you and don’t worry, you can change it anytime you want if you don’t like it anymore.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Define Alternative Sexuality

Define Alternative Sexuality – WHAT IS BDSM or ALT S*X?

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Define Alternative Sexuality – WHAT IS BDSM or ALT S*X?

 

Define alternative sexuality and get a deeper understanding beyond vanilla.

Would love to detach you more and define alternative sexuality for you !

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Fetish Life: How To Find Your Spot & Connect With The Community

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Fetish Life: How To Find Your Spot & Connect With The Community

 

If you always knew there is a little bit of kink to you, you have probably researched a bit about what a fetish life implies. At first, it might seem quite challenging to understand what you want to experience in it and more importantly. How to connect with the kink community and potentially find someone you’ll explore this world with. 

One of the reasons why it is harder to become a part of a subculture like this is that it is more disguised than the rest of them. Although recently sex topics have been put on the mainstream agenda, fetishes and BDSM lifestyle are still kind of taboo. 

Fetish Explained

If you’re fantasizing about stepping out of the vanilla sex and trying something different, you will probably have a fetish you want to explore deeper. Kinky sex is an umbrella term that involves all sexual behaviors that are not considered vanilla or traditional sex, however, there is no official definition of it. What someone considers kinky, another person might consider vanilla. For instance, you might think that doggy style with a few spankings means having kinky sex. While another person will want to be blindfolded and ball-gagged in this type of sex to consider it kinky. 

A big part of kinky sex involves fetishes, fixations on something that seems nonsexual – feet, latex, leather, tickling, uniforms, etc. Many people who are a part of the fetish world will need their preferred fetish to become sexually aroused. The difference between fetishes and kinks is that kinks can be a part of a sexual play with your partner. Yet it’s not necessary to get you sexually aroused. 

Different Types of Fetishes

There are probably more fetishes that you could count, yet there are a few of them that are pretty common in this community, such as feet fetish, role play, exhibitionism, voyeurism, breath play, and dominant and submissive play. Once you start meeting other people who are into this lifestyle. They will probably prefer these fetishes, and also have a few others that you probably never heard of. After all, a fetish can be so unique that it’s only applicable to that one person. 

For instance, among the rarest fetishes, you can find arousal to statues (agalmatophilia), arousal to touch a stranger in a public space (frotteurism), arousal to touch, lick. And kiss someone’s nose (nasolingus). And arousal to being tickled by feathers (pteronphilia).

Places For Kinksters

As you could have imagined, there are not so many physical places where people with fetishes will gather and discuss deliberately their lifestyle. Most of these interactions happen online on the websites, platforms, and apps targeting this community. To help you connect with people who share your passion, we have gathered a list of such online places:

  • Fetlife: A place that gathers the entire BDSM, fetish, and kinky community. Think of it as Facebook for kinksters.
  • Feeld: This sex-positive app will help you find someone who matches your kink, and you can even use it as a couple. 
  • #open: The app allows you to list your kinks and fetishes on your profile and is also ideal for polyamorous couples. 
  • KinkD: This is a perfect place for open-minded people who are considered about the privacy and security of dating apps like this because of ti photo verification process. 

Pros & Cons of a Fetish Life

If you’re certain you wish to learn more about your kinky side, by all means – go for it. Just by allowing yourself to dive deeper into the side of your sexuality that is yet to be explored, you will already feel free and motivated to share it with the right people. However, there are definitely pros and cons of such a lifestyle. 

Pros:

  • You will discover new things about yourself by accepting this form of sexuality.
  • You will be able to connect with people who are interested in the same things in sex. And also potentially find someone who might teach you how to enjoy it even more.
  • As sex boosts our creativity and productivity, by finding your kinks. You might feel more efficient in other areas of your life. 

Cons:

  • It’s not a secret that this type of lifestyle is not warmly accepted in society. So you will need to be careful who you share it with. 
  • Depending on your and your sexual partner’s kinks, you might need to spend more money on tools, equipment. And clothes for sex than you used to before. 
  • With fetishes, you will need to determine your boundaries, and until you know what you like and dislike. You might have a few experiences that you’ll wish to forget because they were uncomfortable or painful. 

How To Join the Fetish Community

The easiest way to join the fetish community is by creating your kink profile on one of the above-mentioned apps and platforms. There, you will easily find people to talk to and maybe even meet in person. On these apps, users will often plan a dinner together or an activity where you will have a chance to meet them personally. So make sure you are involved as much as you can when making plans. 

When going to meet people you talked to online, always make sure you have all the information. For instance, they might have something that will separate them from the rest groups when in a restaurant. So it’s important to know it before you go. So you don’t miss out on a great kink event.

Another great way to inform yourself about the fetish lifestyle is by reading about it. There are many books written on this topic, and you can even find a bunch of articles online that might give you ideas on how to play with your kinkiness. You can find even movies and other types of art about fetishes. One thing is for sure, the more you research, the more things you will find. And it will become easier for you to come into this exciting community that might change how you perceive your sexual life completely. 

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Top Sex Therapist Questions

Top Sex Therapist Questions [Answers Revealed!]

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Top Sex Therapist Questions [Answers Revealed!]

 

Time to discuss top sex therapist questions. It is commonly asked what are the top sex therapist questions that you hear? So here they are for you!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Touch For Turn On

Touch For Turn On [5 SENSUAL TIPS!]

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Touch For Turn On [5 SENSUAL TIPS!]

 

This week, we are discussing touch for turn on as a way to get closer to someone!

This is great for new or long-term couples. Touching for turn on is something that we are all interested in. Touching someone to bring them that feeling of being turned on is such a skill. These are the tips from a sex therapist! I imagine that a massage therapist would have different ideas! If you enjoy touch for turn on asmr or massage videos, you will enjoy this! How to touch a woman to turn her on, where do men like to be touched? This guide is for you!

Touching is one of the main love languages, so I think you can all get something out of the theme of this video.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Talking To A Teen About Sex

A Parent’s Guide On Talking To A Teen About Sex

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A Parent’s Guide On Talking To A Teen About Sex

 

As a parent, your responsibility is to teach and prepare your child for adulthood, including talking to a teen about sex. After all, it’s completely normal for your teenager to have many questions and a lot of thoughts about sex, so it’s vital to approach this entire topic maturely and allow your child to ask you everything that’s on their mind.

Keep in mind that teens who have frequent and open conversations with their parents about sex will more likely step into sexual activities when they are older, while also protecting themselves from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) when they become sexually active. 

If you wish to be the biggest influence in your teenager’s decisions about sex, you can start planning these conversations in your mind. Please make sure that they feel comfortable enough to come to you with their questions as well. 

Prepare Yourself

In all honesty, accepting that your child is entering the adult world is not easy. As parents, we often continue seeing them as too vulnerable for the real world, and that’s why you will need to prepare yourself first if you wish to avoid confusing your teen even more. 

What are your personal values and beliefs about sex? What is that you want to share with your teen? Ask yourself about what you have learned from your first sexual experiences and which mistakes you would wish they avoid making. 

If this conversation is uncomfortable for you, make sure you are well prepared. Include in your conversation information about protections such as birth control and condoms, sexually transmitted diseases, and everything else that might be important for them. Think about this as the first step to building a mature relationship with your teen where you will start discussing topics you never have before. 

Start the Sex Talk First

It would be really good if you would be the one starting this conversation so you can dedicate your full attention to it. They might ask you some questions before you decide to sit with them and have the ‘big talk’, yet make sure you start it first as it will show you are open to discussing this topic and you’d love to hear your teen’s view on it. 

Make sure you have chosen a day where both you and your kid have enough time to dedicate to this conversation. When you’re ready, start the conversation casually and try to not make a big deal out of it. Remember, you should make this conversation as less uncomfortable for them as possible, and being stiff about it will not help at all. 

Guiding the Conversation

Your teen will probably have a few questions for you as well. Try to respond to them accurately and straightforward. For instance, if they ask for a proper age to start having sexual relations, try not to get too philosophical about it and provide them with facts and your personal opinion. Keep in mind that your child will form their own opinion about sex topics as they go through life, so it’s vital to give them all vital information before stepping into this world.

If you personally feel uncomfortable sharing some of your sexual experiences with your child, you can talk about it in the third person. If your teen asks a question you don’t know how to answer, be honest and invite them to look for that information together. 

Common Misconceptions Teens Have About Sex

When talking with your teenager, they will maybe share with you one or two of the common misconceptions teens have about sex. For instance, they might think that sex will make them appear adult. Be supportive and offer alternative ways that might show them as adults in their friends’ eyes. For instance, they can get a summer job or volunteer.

If they want to have sex just because all of their friends are already doing it, why not focus on things that make them unique and stand out from the crowd? Explain that not following blindly every step their friends make is a good thing and that they should start having sex when they feel the need, instead of when their friends are doing it. Also, make them aware that many lie about their sexual experiences and that on average, teens start having sex at 18.

If they are in a relationship and they want to feel closer to their partner, make sure you understand their motives behind it. Many teens will have sex just because of fear of losing that person. There are many ways to show you love someone, and sex is just one of them. If done because of the pressure, tell them that the sex experience will not be enjoyable at all and that it doesn’t imply that it will improve their relationship. 

Safe Sex

As a parent, it’s your job to inform your teen of sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy, and any other consequences having unprotected sex can have for them. You don’t have to be a sexual health expert to help your teen avoid these consequences, just talk to them about it and motivate them to learn about safe sex. Encourage reading Scarleteen online!

Make sure they know they have to use protection once they start having sexual relations. Talk to them about pregnancy and how it changes life for a young person, so they are aware of all the negative outcomes if they decide to practice unsafe sex even once. Also, make them aware they are not alone in this, their decisions on sex affect one more person and they should be responsible for them as well. 

Conclusion

Your child will find out about sex, one way or another. It’s best if you can be their source of information and help them shape their opinion on sex topics which will ensure they have a healthy sexual life later. Don’t assume they know something just because you do, they still need to be educated about sex from the start. Allow them to ask you whatever they need and always encourage them to start the sex talk whenever they feel the need. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Darcey and Georgi

Darcey and Georgi in The Trigger Tango Therapy Episode

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Darcey and Georgi in The Trigger Tango Therapy Episode

 

I had the pleasure of helping Darcey and Georgi on a January 17th episode of Darcey & Stacey on TLC and noticed how they were stuck in the trigger tango. 

The trigger tango is common in intimate communication, especially for those we are most comfortable with. 

When I have the thought that my partner doesn’t understand me. Instead of taking a pause to try to find understanding and compassion, we often raise our voices. When one person raises their voice, then the other either avoids, freezes or fights. Which could mean raising their voice as well. This is how we begin the trigger tango. 

Instead of being in the moment together using empathetic or reflective listening many individuals just begin to have harsh and critical exchanges with one another. 

Although we speak the same language, we have different ways that we conceive the specific words and tone someone uses. 

Since we have mirror neurons, when one person gets activated using a tone, the other person will have their nerves get activated too. 

Creating new communication strategies instead of getting into a trigger tango with someone you love is important for successful relationships. 

Darcey and Georgi

 

How to Stop the Trigger Tango

Sometimes just pausing your partner and saying “I feel nervous – as if we are just in a trigger tango with one another right now.” 

 

Call it Out

Discussing that you notice your partner and then referring to embodiment of your limbic system eliminates the trigger tango effect. 

The practice of noticing and naming the issue as it’s happening – by saying “trigger tango” – actually can help couples to remember that they need to slow and calm down. 

The importance of this is to eliminate the concept that we truly or completely know one another. And instead exhibit positive intention, gentle noticing, and work at breaking current negative conversation and communication patterns.

 

Take a Deep Breath

Now that we are adults, we often get triggered by things that remind us of childhood. A time where we were actually powerless. As an adult, there are many times I remind myself, my team. And my clients to take a deep breath and consider what you feel in your body. This is a quick and effective grounding technique. 

Instead of taking offense to someone else’s tone and getting caught up in the trigger tango. Taking a pause and breathing helps us to get in touch with ourselves in this present moment. 

Embodied connecting is really important, and when we are with another. It’s helpful to attune with each other instead of escalating. When we are embodied, we can observe our emotions and our partner’s emotions at a distance instead of acting out of our emotional state. 

We forget that unless there is physical force, we are not actually in danger, it just feels emotionally uncomfortable. When we feel this way, we can make a request, state a compassionate boundary, or invite collaborative conversation. 

Most people did not have communications training and do not know how to begin these conversations. You can start by learning communication skills or going to a couples therapist who is skilled in the chain of the Trigger Tango or within the reactivity cycle. 

Additionally, you may want to check out my therapy video on couples communications. 

Seeing a couples therapist to guide you on how to slow down, provide tactics and structure can be very helpful. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Darcey and Stacey

Darcey and Stacey – Couples Therapy on a Reality Show

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Darcey and Stacey – Couples Therapy on a Reality Show

 

Let’s admit it, so many of us indulge in TV entertainment, whether it’s binge-watching on Netflix or following reality shows like Darcey and Stacey. I had the pleasure to work with with Darcey and Georgi in a couples therapy session. Their objectives were to work out some of their key issues, such as communication and trust. This session was filmed by the production crew and aired on TLC on Monday, January 17, 2022. I am happy to share share this exciting experience with you. 

Watch a preview of season 3, episode 2 “Georgi and Darcey See a Therapist” | Darcey & Stacey:

 

 

Watch the entire episode of Darcey and Stacey (you may have to sign up for a Discovery account).

Reality Shows

In the last decade, reality shows have dominated the TV industry. From Keeping Up With The Kardashians and American Idol to Jersey Shore and The Bachelorette, these fake reality shows had dozens of millions of viewers watching each episode. With social media integrating into our daily lives, watching our favorite programs also includes following reality stars on Instagram and Twitter – curiously awaiting their every move.

The underlying factor that this type of program has is the involvement we feel when we are consuming reality shows. We start to feel like we’re a part of the show and the lives of people in it. So much so, that we are curious to see what will happen next. 

Watching Darcey and Stacey may make you feel the highs and lows of balancing parenting and the romantic experiences in their lives. It’s no surprise that reality shows have an impact on our emotions as well. 

 

Darcey and Stacey – Behind the Scenes 

My experience with Darcey and Georgi coming to see me as a therapist was great. I was approached by the producer about a month prior to conducting a filmed couples therapy session with Darcey and Georgi, because Darcey’s former boyfriends often said that she should see a therapist.

 

They found information about me and my practice, Life Coaching and Therapy online and liked what they read on my website and in client reviews about my methods and results. After speaking to them, I agreed to this session, because I am often interested in finding ways for couples that are struggling to come together and determine if their relationship is worth salvaging.

 

Darcey and Georgi and the entire crew were incredibly professional, mindful and curious. They were respectful of my office and health requirements. The crew was actually in my office a whole day.

 

Fake Reality Shows

My episode with Darcey and Georgi was actually a four-hour long session. It was edited down to about 10 minutes on screen. I sat with Darcey and Georgi and listened to the intensity of the relationship and the issues. I provided insight and useful techniques to help them meet their relationship and communication objectives. This is same way I work in my off-screen couple sessions. 

 

Fake Reality Shows

 

During the session the couple had a lot of conflict, but it was edited out of the episode.

 

What you see in reality shows is only part of the story. Reality show conflicts and arguments don’t happen or resolve as quickly in real life. Unfortunately conflict arises in all relationships, which take work to repair. It always takes time, effort, and repetition to build trust after conflicts.

 

Even the most dramatic moments of a reality show are edited and produced in a way that creates a certain reaction in the viewer . This is done to hook you into watching the show every week. There really was actual drama in the session. It just took longer to build the intensity than what was shown in the episode. 

So as a viewer, don’t think one couples therapy session can solve everything, because it cannot! Do not compare your life to the cast’s lives on reality shows.

 

Focus on building a strong relationship with your partner and prioritize spending quality time with them whenever you can. (This might mean watching fewer shows.)

 

Having quality relationships with people we care about is the only road to happiness and a fulfilled life.

 

If you feel your relationship could use communication help you may want to check out my therapy video on couples communication strategies and tactics.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Dirty Kinky Text Messages

Sending Dirty Kinky Text Messages [No 🍆 Pics]

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Sending Dirty Kinky Text Messages [No 🍆 Pics]

 

Time to learn to send dirty kinky text message to those around you that have consented!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

 

 

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Increase Sexual Tension With Your Partner

How To Increase Sexual Tension With Your Partner

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How To Increase Sexual Tension With Your Partner

 

Learn to increase sexual tension with your partner in this video.

Learn how to try to give touch and sexual tension with your partner to give them what they want in the bedroom. Pleasure is healing.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

how to rim safely

How To Rim Safely!  RIMMING TIPS 2 EAT A*S!

/in , /by

How To Rim Safely!  RIMMING TIPS 2 EAT A*S!

 

Learn how to rim safely in this video!

Learn how to try to be as safe as possible when you are eating a*s and get connected to new levels of pleasure with another person.

Rimming is commonly asked about & no one understands the details! This video is for now

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Using A Mouth Gag? [LIVE DEMO in MOUTH]

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Using A Mouth Gag? [LIVE DEMO in MOUTH]

 

Are you interested in using a mouth gag with your partner to get closer to bringing each other bondage and pleasure? A mouth gag has many uses and one is for connection.

Today we answer that!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.