How To Become

How Do Therapists Become Therapists?

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How Do Therapists Become Therapists?

 

I am often asked how to become a therapist and what path I took to become one. There are often a lot of assumptions surrounding the process and so I wanted to offer some insight for people who either want to become one, have a therapist, or just are generally curious. 

 

There are several different paths to accomplish this. First and foremost, you have to complete a bachelor’s degree and at least a masters and in some cases a doctorate. By and large, most therapists have a Master’s degree in some specific type of therapy or counseling. 

 

Therapists who Prescribe

 

Although not as common, therapists that prescribe are usually Psychiatrists (MD) or Advanced Practice Registered Nurse (APRN) or Psychiatric Nurse. Some of these practitioners may engage in some counseling, but often it seems that they work in conjunction with a therapist to help support a client/patient in the medication therapy. In order to be in either of these roles requires various certifications and training and/or medical school (in the case of the Psychiatrist). Obviously time to accomplish these certifications varies based on trajectory but can be anywhere from 3 to 8 years. 

 

Therapists who Conduct Assessments

 

Most therapists conduct some level of assessments in their practice. These can range from intake assessments and ongoing assessments to identify appropriate diagnosis and course of treatment for their clients. 

 

Psychologists (Masters or Doctor of Philosophy) and Doctors of Psychology (PsyD or PhD) often specialize in various areas of standardized assessments or testing. This can include things like neuropsychological exams, learning disabilities, mental status and cognitive testing, etc. Commonly we see these types of therapists or psychologists connected with universities, school systems, or medical facilities (hospitals, etc). 

 

Psychology is a broad field, but in terms of therapy we typically see a Masters, Psychology Doctorate, or Doctorate of Philosophy connected to Clinical Psychology. Clinical psychology focuses on treatment and assessment of emotional, mental, and behavioral disorders. In order to engage in this type of practice, you must complete a masters degree of usually 3 years or a doctoral degree of 4+ years. 

 

Therapists and Counselors

 

When we think of therapists we more commonly think of therapists who received Masters or Doctorate Degrees in Social Work (LCSW),  Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Clinical Psychologists (PsyD or PhD) or Professional Counselors (LPC). Each of these specialities focus on providing clinical services, therapy, and counseling to their clients. Many of these therapists have different specializations and certifications to support their practice whether that is in substance abuse treatment, trauma treatment, sex therapy, couples therapy, etc. Although, each may have specialties, generally, each degree allows for therapists and counselors to be able to practice individual, group, or relational therapy in a clinical setting. In addition to case management and assessment. 

 

Below I have described the most common types of therapists noted above. 

 

  • Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) 

      • A LCSW is someone who has completed their Masters or Doctorate degree in Social work. A licensed clinical social worker focuses on the clinical aspects of social work rather than other concentration areas of community organization, case management, or other social work tracks. Simply completing a social work degree does not necessarily mean that they are therapists or clinicians

  • Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

      • I am totally biased on this one because this is what my degree and specialization is in. A person who is a LMFT has a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy or in a related area with a concentration in MFT. This training focuses specifically on relational therapy and systemic thinking. This degree is predominately clinical and is often connected to family therapy or couples therapy.

  • Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC)

      • A person who is an LPC may have a Master’s Degree in various fields (school counseling, general counseling, psychology, etc). LPC’s are trained in a variety of clinical practices depending on their base degree, but are predominantly clinical professionals. Often specializing in individual, group, and substance abuse treatments. 

 

These tracks vary in requirements, however on average Master’s Levels Programs take about three years to complete and an additional two years to become licensed. In addition to our degrees, licenses, and certifications we are also required to take a certain number of Continued Education (CE) courses each year to be sure we are remaining up to date with our clinical practice. This is not the case for all practitioners. 

 

Typical Requirements to be a Licensed Practitioner

 

Although this varies state to state and is also dependent on the type of clinical degree you have. Generally the following criteria has to be met: 

  • Completion of Masters or higher degree
    • Practicum (supervised clinical experience)
    • Internship (a clinical experience unpaid in the field)
    • Specific amount of clinical hours (sometimes specified by individual, group, relational, and/or case management)
    • Specific amount of supervision by licensed professional
    •  Usually somewhere around 50-60+ credits hours
    • Coursework in clinical, developmental, and theoretical models of treatment
    • Thesis or Capstone presentation on your therapeutic methods and/or research
  • Post graduate Clinical Hours (usually about a year or two of clinical or case management experience)
  • Post graduate supervision hours (supervised by a licensed clinical practitioner within your field)
  • Successful Completion of Exam (Licensure or Board Certification) with passing score

 

State Licensure

 

Each state has different requirements for licensure and are also dependent on the type of clinician/therapist you are. Some licenses are more transferable than others across states. It is important before getting licensed in specific state that you research what your state requires in way of credits from masters, hours, and Continuing Education Credits, etc (see above). 

 

In Connecticut, we pay $320 per year to maintain a license and need a specific amount of Continuing Education Credits (CEs) per year. There are also certain types of CE’s that we are required to have. For instance, in MFT we need to get a certain amount of CE’s surrounding veterans and diversity. 

 

Insurances

 

As with other medical providers, in order to accept insurances therapists have to be paneled with each specific insurance company. Each insurance company has its own contracted rate for each provider based on credentials and area of service. Credentialing with insurance companies can be time consuming and arduous for therapists. 

 

Therapists can choose to contract with different insurance companies based on their access to patients, reimbursement rates, etc. If therapists do not want to contract with a specific company, they do not have to. They are still able to work with clients with that insurance company but charge a private pay rate and the client can bill their insurance for full or partial reimbursement or bill towards their deductible if they have one.

 

Associations

 

In addition to licensure and insurances, therapists also usually associate with various associations which require their own benefits and memberships. These can be general based on educational/certifcation background or specializations such as sexuality, trauma, addiction, couples, etc. 

 

Some of the most common ones are:

 

There are also associations for people based on their specialities, some of these include: 

 

These are some examples above, however there are many that have more specifications and more general. Each association allows various benefits, resources, and membership requirements. As therapists, we maintain various certifications and associations to support having the most up to date information within the mental health field. 

 

Obviously this is a broad overview on how to become a practicing therapist and clinician. Basically, we do a lot of work to become therapists and maintain our abilities to practice clinically. 

 

If you need help finding a therapist for you, feel free to reach out and we are happy to help you here at LCAT! We are a staff of LPC, LCSW, and LMFT’s (now you know what these mean!). 

 

Learn more about CE for therapists – learn unique couples counseling and sex therapy methodologies to help you with your clients.

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

 

 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

How to Orgasm

How to Orgasm – Vulva Edition

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How to Orgasm – Vulva Edition

 

One of the most commonly asked questions by women coming to our practice is “how to orgasm?”

Is there really just one answer to the question of how to orgasm though? I think not! 

If you ask women internationally from ages 18 and up, you might be surprised at what responses you get.

Vulva owners each have different things that make us tick and different sensations within sex that are orgasmic. 

A few vulva owners report enjoying penetration and fullness feeling of the vagina, while others want to focus on the magic of the clitoral gland. 

How to orgasm when you have a vulva can change over time – making it even more fun to discover new techniques along the way. Especially for those of you with one long term partner, it is often exciting to discover your partner’s “new thing” when it happens for them. 

 

Learning Curves:

Finding what you like is key on how to orgasm, along with not getting discouraged during experimentation. 

  • Consistency is key for most women. Continuing the motion which feels the best is what can bring the orgasm pulsating through you.
  • Do not go harder, or faster, or softer unless the vulva owner asks for it. 
    • Just maintain the same motion and if you are using an external clitoral vibrator, consider upping or lowering the intensity based on your needs.
    • There is a moment when you feel an orgasm approaching. Sticking with it makes the feeling grow into a full-body climax.

 

How to Orgasm Each Time 

People with penises may not mind if you go harder, faster, or change it up at the end of the stimulation, as the orgasm and ejaculation will still be there.  

For vulva owners though, sometimes we want the same motion to the point of climax and orgasm.

There is nothing wrong with liking the same way of orgasming! 

 

Techniques to Avoid When You Are Learning How To Orgasm:

  • Avoid asking the question: “Are you close?” This can deter the orgasm from even happening. 
  • The mind quickly shifts to other questions, like am I taking too long? 
  • Am I boring them? Which in the long run is known as an orgasm killer.

 

Try These: 

  • Moving targets – it is not easy keeping the same movement or position when hips are squirming and bodies are moving. Yet try to stay consistent, because if it is do-able, it is rewarding. 
  • Pattern pleasure – tap your feet to the beat of your favorite song. That is the rhythm, and your repeated moves in the bedroom – whether it is rubbing, tapping, or penetrating with a finger, tongue, phallus, or toy – can have the same beat. 
  • By experimenting with rhythm and zeroing in on what feels best, you can take your orgasm to the next level.

 

How To Orgasm with Rhythm:

  • Skipping- take a break in between each motion and cause a sweet frustration. 
    • It’s like only half scratching an itch, which creates a desire that’s not 100% satisfied 
    • This can lead to a slower build up and longer more satisfying orgasm. 
  • Raindrop touch is an irregular pattern with different amounts of time in between each motion. 
    • Creates a randomness that is exciting because the clit does not know what is next.
  • Back-to-back movement is when you repeat your motion right after finishing the last one with no pauses in between. With this rhythm, there is not time for pleasure to die down between each motion.
  • Constant butterfly pulsating is where the rhythm is so fast it is almost a blur. 
    • You move so quickly that the touch becomes a flutter. 
    • After all, this is why vibrators are so popular. With penetration, pulsating is an extremely popular stroke because it allows a tiny amount of movement to constantly stimulate the clit.

 

Ways to explore:

  • Experimentation: It’s fun to take what motions you already know feel great and try adjusting the rhythm in a different way to see if your orgasm is even better.
  • Slow Burn: By slowing the rhythm in the buildup to prolong and extend the orgasm might cause frustration or be hard to stick with yet if you can hang on through it, the rewards are well worth it.
  • Pressure: You don’t have to press too hard. Rhythmic movements can be very subtle and still feel wonderful. Think about how a vibrator’s micro-movements feel …. Those feel pretty great right?
  • Irregular Movements- Some people just don’t like irregular motions and need things to be consistent. 

 

Any of these techniques can help with how to orgasm or enhance your current routine. Remember the fun in having an orgasm is the exploring and adventure along the way.

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Do I have PTSD?

Do I Have PTSD? Behind the Scenes with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 

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Do I Have PTSD? Behind the Scenes with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 

 

If you’ve experienced a traumatic event, or witnessed multiple trauma, you may ask yourself “do I have PTSD?” on the regular. 

 

If you feel you aren’t sleeping, having flashbacks, intrusive thoughts about trauma, and / or you wonder “do I have PTSD?” more than once a week, it would be good to see a therapist. 

 

Many people who have PTSD have had to deal with life-threatening situations like accidents, war, natural disaster, assault, sexual coercion, and / or any other event that gets stuck in the body triggers and responses. 

 

Generally, the fear and shock that comes with experiencing any of these events does fade over time. However, when you have PTSD, it gets replaced by constant flashbacks, shock, and fear… to name a few symptoms.

Do I have PTSD?

 

How to Answer “Do I have PTSD?” 

 

You can tell if you have PTSD when you notice the following:

  • You must have had a serious injury, sexual violence, near-death experience, been threatened with death, or experience rape. It could be a first-hand experience, or you might have witnessed a friend or family member go through such an experience.
  • You’re experiencing trauma in the form of nightmares, emotional distress, flashbacks, and other thoughts or symptoms that show when you’re thinking about the event.
  • You try as much as you can to avoid situations, thoughts, or feelings that will make you remember the trauma. For instance, if the event happened in a particular place, you try to avoid going to such a place.
  • You start having frequent negative thoughts or feelings that get worse by the day. You can not remember how the whole event unfolded, and you blame others or even yourself for the trauma even when you’re not at fault. Your favorite activities no longer interest you, and you feel lonely and alone.
  • Find it hard to see positivity in situations.
  • You become unreasonably angry and very irritable. You also engage in dangerous activities just to harm yourself or even have suicidal thoughts. Cannot enjoy sleeping like before, and staying focused becomes a problem. 

 

Treatment for Symptoms of PTSD

 

Psychology therapies and medication are the common treatments for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. 

 

These methods are used because they help you come to terms with your feelings and seek professional help. There’s a treatment for PTSD regardless of how long you’ve been suffering from it so it’s not too late!

 

Before a professional recommends any type of treatment for PTSD, you will have to go through the assessment and watchful waiting process.

 

  • Assessment: Your doctor or a mental health professional will carry out a thorough assessment of your symptoms and the right treatment will be recommended. After that, you will meet a mental specialist for more assessment and treatments if your symptoms are severe or you’ve been experiencing it for over four weeks.
  • Watchful waiting: Your psychiatrist or APRN may recommend watchful waiting if you’ve only been experiencing the symptoms in less than four weeks. The process involves careful monitoring of your symptoms to know if it will improve or become worse. You will likely then be asked to do a follow-up appointment within 90 days. 

 

Psychological Therapies

 

If your PTSD will require treatment, the first treatment that your doctor or professional will recommend is the psychological therapies. If it’s a severe or persistent case of PTSD, a medication will be recommended alongside the psychological therapies.

Do I have PTSD?

 

Three types of psychological therapies used in treating people with PTSD include:

 

  • Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)
    • It helps you deal with PTSD by helping you to change your thinking and how you act. 
    • For example, your therapist can help you face your fear and change what you think about what happened. You might have been blaming yourself for something that wasn’t your fault, and your therapist will help you see that.
    • Your therapist will also encourage you to start doing the things you’ve avoided since you had the traumatic experience. 
    • For instance, driving (if you’ve had a car accident), or other things you’ve avoided depending on your experience. The general period for Tf-CBT may be between 12 weeks or more. 
    • Each session usually lasts for 53-60 minutes.

 

  • Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)
    • This is a new treatment for PTSD that involves tracing your therapists’ finger by making side to side eye movement while remembering the traumatic incident. Also, therapists use theratappers, the light bar, or butterfly hugs and taps to get through. 
    • This method has been proven to reduce PTSD symptoms. It is a long and methodical process with amazing outcomes. Seek an https://www.emdria.org/ specialist today. 

 

  • Group Therapy for PTSD
    • Group therapy has shown to be helpful as people can easily speak about their experiences with other people regarding their PTSD symptoms. 
    • It can help you understand your condition better and find ways of managing it. 
    • Many charity organizations provide counseling and support to people with PTSD

 

If You Answered Yes to “Do I have PTSD?” Consider Medication 

 

Medications are recommended in severe cases or when psychology therapies seem not to work.

  • You can choose medication if you do not want to undergo the psychological therapies or if it hasn’t been effective.
  • If you also have an underlying condition like depression, you may not get the needed results from psychological treatment.
  • Medication is usually used for a minimum of one year before it will be gradually withdrawn. 
  • Your doctor will inform you of the possible side effects of taking any medication, and they’ll let you know if you have to continue or stop it at a point if the symptoms reduce or when there’s no improvement.

 

Why Treating PTSD is Important

 

Many people that leave PTSD untreated do so because of many reasons:

  • They may not be aware that they have the condition.
  • They may feel it’s a temporary feeling that will wear off with time.
  • They may be scared of undergoing the treatment due to the fear of their traumatic experience.
  • They may fear being labeled with a “mental health diagnosis” 

 

PTSD affects people of all ages, including in vitro babies whose parents are under constant emotional stress during pregnancy.

 

PTSD can have devastating effects on those who have it and the people around them. 

 

It affects the relationship with your friends, family, and people around you. If you have asked yourself “do I have PTSD?” chances are that you can seek an intake appointment with a therapist. 

 

Don’t suffer any longer, as PTSD can also lead to severe emotional problems and health issues that may arise over time. Seek assistance today. 

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Betty Dodson

Betty Dodson ‘s Internal Clitoris Discovery

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Betty Dodson ‘s Internal Clitoris Discovery

 

Have you heard of one of my role models – the legendary Betty Dodson? If not, today is the day to learn one of her main discoveries. Betty Dodson was able to discover the internal clitoris for us, and she passed it down so other women would understand their pleasure!

 

Have you ever wondered about female orgasms and understanding actual pleasure?

If you have heard about the “perfect vaginal orgasm” that Freud said was ideal, you are mistaken.

 

Actually, the myth of the vaginal orgasm was first discovered by Anne Koedt.

 

Unfortunately, poor Anne received so many death threats while publishing that she went underground with the information.

 

So, the she-ro Betty Dodson picked up the flag of the internal clitoris and kept on moving forward with it. Betty never wavered.

 

“Sexual energy is not only the life force that creates the next generation, but it is also the source of our creativity. Each orgasm can be a precious moment of joy, a prayer of thanks for being alive. As we awaken our bodies through the senses, we awaken our minds to the knowledge that we are all related and connected to every living thing on the planet and throughout the vast universe.”

– Betty Dodson

 

Learn how to bring pleasure her pleasure by learning about the internal clitoris. Address how this is a primary sex organ for those with vulvas.

 

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining us for this fun topic.

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Get Playtime: A Guide To Sexual Conquests For Women:

 

Watch now:

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Winter Depression

Winter Depression During a Pandemic

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Winter Depression During a Pandemic

 

For some people, winter weather seems like a magical scene out of a movie. Yet for others winter depression is a hard reality of the chilly season. 

 

When choosing where to settle down in life and deciding what place to call home, many factors come into play when picking a location.

 

For some living in an area of the country where it gets darker earlier in the day and the slushy, gloomy days seem to last forever is not ideal.  

 

Some though want to be able to experience all four seasons throughout the year, and winter depression comes with the regions.

 

Winter depression is also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is how one is affected by light or lack thereof. 

 

Many studies have shown that people with seasonal affective disorder feel better after exposure to bright light. 

 

It seems simple enough: in higher latitudes, winter days are shorter, so you get less exposure to sunlight. Replace lost sunlight with bright artificial light, and your mood improves. 

 

Yet it’s actually far more complex. It’s not only a matter of getting light; it is about the right time too. The most important time to get light is in the morning, supposedly. 

Winter Depression

Some symptoms of Winter Depression but are not limited to:

  • Fatigue
  • Depression
  • Hopelessness
  • Social Withdrawal 

 

While some days seem better being that the sun is shining, the chilly fatigue can set in at any point in the day. Sometimes being awake for a short period of time is a struggle and your body just wants to rest. 

 

For some individuals with autoimmune diseases fatigue only seems to intensify during the winter months. Rheumatoid Arthritis is just one example where the winter months seem to cause more pain and fatigue for the clients that we serve. 

 

The more pain you feel the more fatigue you get being your body is over working to get through the day. When one bad day precedes the next, it might feel like a vicious cycle to get ahead of the tiredness and starting each day more tired than the next gets old.

 

Depression is something which can affect an individual throughout the year, regardless of the season. Many report that it intensifies to a winter depression in the colder months. Sunlight can do a world of wonders to the human body. The gloomy weather can affect a person’s mood from day to day. 

 

One might be more active one day due to the sun being out, and the next cloudy day could cause an individual to withdraw from wanting to do anything other than stay in bed. Hopelessness plays into depression, and one can lose faith things will get better. 

 

Seasonal Depression

Personally, it seems the colder the temperature gets and the earlier in the day the sun sets, some of my high motivation can get lost. I might have great plans to accomplish something after work. Yet by the time I get home, I may lose my excess energy. 

 

I am tender with myself, and I do not crawl into bed before 8pm, no matter how tired. Also I will not stay in bed past 11am ever. Sometimes, this can be a vicious cycle of going to bed early and waking up late. 

 

Social withdrawal is another battle in itself during the winter let alone during a pandemic. 

 

We have been cooped up for months on end and when we eventually go out for a night, we just want to retreat to the house. Sometimes, we do not want to deal with the conversations of people we meet or just not feeling up to socializing. 

 

Most nights even maintaining relationships via phone or texting can seem to be a struggle, especially while in a winter depression episode. 

 

Even though there are plenty of hours in a day to reach out, it seems like it is a huge burden or like climbing a mountain some nights to pick up the phone and check in on someone.

 

One thing that I have learned is that winter depression does not affect everyone the same. 

 

Some have mild cases where they can still carry on with day-to-day activities, where others need to seek extra therapy. There is no right or wrong answer to how to cope with winter depression. 

 

I prefer to give myself one day to relax or simply “do nothing” for others. Whether I read a book, spend all day in bed on a Sunday, or decide to order take in on a weeknight, self-care is important to stay healthy. 

winter depression

 

What methods do you prefer: 

  • Running? 
  • Going for a walk? 
  • Seeing your favorite therapist weekly? 
  • Doing a puzzle?
  • Moving your body?

 

Winter can be beautiful in many aspects. Just make sure that you seek help if your winter depression consumes you. If you feel it is too much, remember you are not alone.  

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

New Types of Apocalypse Pleasure With Sex Machines

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New Types of Apocalypse Pleasure With Sex Machines

 

As I work with more and more adults, I realize that sex machines are not common knowledge.

For those of you who have a difference of desire with your partners, and enjoy the sensation of penetrative pleasure, looking into a sex machine!

Apocalypse Pleasure

Honestly, it may save a sensual partnership between the two of you!

  • Are you looking for something adventurous?
  • Would you like to learn about sexual liberation?
  • Are you a bit on the edgy side?

If you said yes, I believe that sexual products, including sex machines, can be a way to get there.

Think of it like penetration – just without stopping.

For those of you who are feeling lonely during the pandemic, sex machines of high quality can help. It will give you the orgasm that you may desire, as it can help you relax. At first, receiving may seem weird, yet it’s actually quite natural to find daily pleasure.

Does it matter what others think, really? During the apocalypse, pleasure is needed. Pleasure is healing!

Sex machines range from cheap to expensive, just like any toy. Mostly, they come with just the machine, yet you can buy some where the dildo comes with it.

If you don’t know how to pick a dildo or detachable vibrator, see our blog on how to safely use a vibrator, and this can help you decide what is right for you.

Let’s Talk Price of Sex Machines

The cheaper the sex machine, the more likely it will not penetrate smoothly.

For example, sex machines under $250 USD are small, portable, and convenient in that one regard. However, at the exact same time, they don’t work well because they get stuck. Unfortunately, they do not penetrate deep enough. Which means that sometimes the vagina or anus can pull the machine off the floor!

This makes for more fun rather than pleasure.

Therefore, consider a $500 USD range of a toy where there is a drill-shaped sex machine where you can buy an inter-changable dildo toys to latch on tightly,

This sometimes looks like an electric drill you would use to build furniture, just with a different type of attachment.

For those of you who want the entire sex machine in all it’s glory, you are looking at spending $1000 USD or more. They will have the ability, like you may have seen in a porn or at a bunny ranch, to be adjusted to various angles and sometimes can have more than one thrusting mechanism on the machine.

Discretion is important, so find one that can fold up in a place where others would not find it. There is no shame in pleasure. However, there is a convenience to clear out your room and have a large object fit comfortably in a place that you have made for it.

Why Is It Weird?

Think back to when you were young, controlling the volume of your voice and containing your pleasure.

Now, as an adult, you can make your own fun choices. If you want to be creative, you can use a toy for pleasure – without shaming it!

If you are partnered, and you are concerned about a difference in pleasure between you and your partner, a sex machine alone or partnered can be fun.

Remember, be sure to clean all toys after using them.

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

5 Questions To Repair A Relationship [TikTok Short yet Effective!]

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Relationship Repair Questions for Those who are struggling to communicate.

Do you ever feel like you have run out of things to say to one another?

You aren’t alone.

Relationship advice tiktok speed! Come join us!

I have been asked to do this video on what are the best relationship repair question for those struggling. I came up with questions that will hopefully help you repair your relationship.

Romantic relationships are challenging and sometimes, we get bored of questions to ask one another. In this video, we are going to teach you our favorite relationship repair question for you and others.

Join us to get the answer to common relationship repair question.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Get the “2021 Communication Guide”

https://bkib2xu0.pages.infusionsoft.net​ ←HERE

Watch now:

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Best Sex Toys for Couples – To Use with Your Partner

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Playing with your partner is important in keeping the spark in your relationship so here are the best sex toys for couples. 

Toys are great for play, ask around. 

Using toys on your partner during sex is sure to give a greater experience. 

Sure, mouths, hands and genitals are great, yet you can only use those so much without fatiguing. Making sex toys a part of your sexual routine gives you something different. An out of the ordinary experience!

You can decide to spice things up with toys both of you enjoy. Have the initial conversation first. Do they want to? What kind of toys are you talking about? Find information on the internet since the choices are limitless. If you are choosing your first toys, decide on beginner-level options, and graduate to more complicated ones.

For those in the market for sex toys to try, which you must be given you are still reading this article, here are 10 options. Some of them are store specific while others are general suggestions that can be found in most sex stores when you ask about best sex toys for couples.

1.Jive Couples Vibrator

This tool by We-Vibe is best for penetration glory. 

It provides the satisfaction of penetrative stimulation and the We-Vibe Jive is an egg-shaped vibrator with a remote control. The best part is you can control it using your smartphone! 

The Jive vibrator is inserted into your partner during oral sex. It is a great foreplay toy. You can wear it during a dinner date and allow your partner to control it through the evening. 

When you get home, all the pent up sexual tension will not fit on any scale.

It goes for $112.05 on Amazon at the time of publishing. 

2.Satisfyer’s Partner Whale

This vibrator by Satisfyer is made specifically for heterosexual or other sex couples. It has two powerful motors and a curvature that allows pleasure for both partners. 

The Partner Whale has a thick part that lies on the clit as the extension goes inside the vagina. The extension targets the G-spot while massaging the penis at the same time.

It has buttons for convenience. The buttons control three vibration intensities and about seven rhythms. The Partner Whale is a beginner tool that is made to impress and help both partners climax. It costs $29.95 on Amazon at the time of publishing. 

3.Complete Le Wand Pleasure Set

There is nothing like a toy to be enjoyed on your own and with a partner.

That is what the Le Wand pleasure set offers.

The set comes with various attachments depending on your needs. The wand can be used as a vibrator. By adding the attachments, it allows for anal penetration, clitoris stimulation and can hit the G-spot!

It is a toy for everyone and can be enjoyed when you are alone and with a partner. It is charged at $234.99 at the time of writing this blog at lewandmassager.com. 

Use PayPal to buy it, as their customer service isn’t the best in my experience. 

4.Foreplay Dice

You can never have enough foreplay. Lovehoney have ensured this by creating these sex dice for your pleasure. One dice has verbs: lick, spank, kiss etc. The other has nouns: mouth, thigh, neck etc.

Each partner can take a turn to roll the dice. They have to do what each verb and noun combo say. It is a fun foreplay game to keep your blood boiling.

The Lovehoney Oh! Roll Play Foreplay Dice go for $9.99 at the time of this blog on the Lovehoney official website: lovehoney.com. 

5.Tomboi Harness

The Tomboi harness is perfect for relationships with no penis. In case one of you wants to experience penetrative sex, this harness is the answer! It can fit any dildo that exists in the universe and it is made of silky material. It fits just like normal underwear and is comfortable. Wear it and thump your way into your partner’s insides.

6.Sex Wedge or Ramp

Sex is best enjoyed in different positions. It needs variety, in strokes and positioning. The sex ramp helps to put your partner in these very much needed variety of positions. Using a sex ramp allows you and your partner to explore new ways to bend your bodies. It offers more chances for deeper penetration.

A great sex ramp should be comfortable and steady. Bonus points if you find one that is machine washable, since it is sure to get soiled while you get it on.

7.Cock Ring

A great toy for the penis is the cock ring. It sits around the base of the penis and vibrates, sending waves all through the shaft. 

The cock ring has padded silicone to prevent any irritations from the vibrations. It is a great teaser during sex, as it allows just part of the penis to do the actual penetration. Both partners are sure to love this toy. Some people enjoy ones that go around the testicles as well.

8.Cuffs and Rope

Restriction of movement is sexy during sex. Having cuffs or rope to tie your partner with as you have your way with them is an incredible feeling. It gives you control, with consent of course.

The key to using cuffs and rope is comfort. Make sure they are not too tight on your partner’s hands and feet. Their being comfortable ensures they give you the time you need to explore their bodies.

There are many options when it comes to bondage play. If your bedroom does not offer places to hook normal handcuffs, you can try door jam cuffs. These can be thrown over the bedroom or bathroom door. Your partner can then strap in and give control.

9.Butt Plugs

Anal play is a sensitive subject. Some are partial to it, while some are all for it. 

Have the conversation with your partner first (as you should before using any toy).

If your partner agrees, the best way to start anal stimulation can be using butt plugs. 

Most come with remote control for your convenience. They have different vibration intensities.

Butt plugs are help to improve penetrative and oral sex. They are also great to be used when your partner is away and you want some sexy time.

10.Sex swing

Putting up a sex swing in your bedroom is a step every couple needs to have gone through. It needs to be attached carefully and according to instructions. Hanging it in safely is the first step to ensuring the best experience.

Create your private Cirque du Soleil by swinging right into penetration. 

You can swing in positions that are limited by your imagination and achieve sexual pleasure beyond anything else.

As a couple, you have no reason to not use sex toys. 

It is a great way to explore your sexuality as well as giving you secrets to share. You will have numerous experiences that will act as extremely pleasurable secrets. Sex toys are perfect for spicing things up and enjoying more of your partner’s company. Pick up any of these and enjoy.

 If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Valentine’s Day – Secrets to Having The Best Sex

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Valentine’s Day – Secrets to Having The Best Sex

 

If you want to understand how to have the best sex, this is the blog for you.

As you may know, society tells you pleasure is shameful and not acceptable. Apparently, sex and pleasure are for practical purposes only, like having a child. 

This is simply not true though. 

What ends up happening is that many people grow up confused on what the best sex can even be.

Often, in our practice, we are asked “how do I get better sex in my life?”

 

First, know that you deserve to have sexual needs and deserve the best sex. 

My goal is for all people to communicate more effectively, especially around sex and asking for what they want as the best sex. 

Let’s start here:

  • What do you consider sex is? 
  • What does sexuality mean to you? 
  • When does foreplay begin? 
  • How long does sex last for? 
  • How will you know you are satisfied and are having the best sex?
  • Have you actually had the best sex of your life already?

If you come see us at the practice I own, Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT), you will know that these are key components we want to understand to get you to your goal of the best sex possible. 

 

Similarly, is the best sex about orgasm, partnership, or something else? 

Not everyone has sex for the same reason every time they are engaging in what they consider sex is. 

Therefore, understanding WHY you are having the sex and what NEED you are trying to fulfill in it is often an important place to begin processing what the best sex will look like for you. 

Give yourself 15-30 minutes to reflect on your sexual fantasies, your desires, and your curiosities. 

Then record them either in writing, a video on your phone of you reading them or stating them, or record a voice memo for yourself. 

Think about where you like to be touched, and possibly how you like to be held.

  • With what pressure? 
  • For how long? 
  • With fingers or a massager?
  • Who is doing the holding and does that matter? 
  • Where would you want partner(s) to touch?

 

For those of you who do not want to analyze sex, remember that sex happens in multiple quadrants – according to the late Gina Ogden. Emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual. 

For those of you who don’t know where to start because these questions and concepts seem foreign, and you like to experience things in your body first, feel free to try this. 

Set a timer for 15 minutes. 

Slowly build sexual energy by facing a partner – cross legged or comfortable standing. If you are doing this solo, do it in a mirror. 

Make eye contact and establish a connection. Make sure to face one another, with your lips slightly open. Remember, try to inhale through the nose, and exhale through the mouth. 

 

Easy best sex tip: lock into your lovers breathing as a quick way to connect during sex. 

It’s the easiest way to figure out the flavor of sex they are interested in. 

Continue with long, deep breaths. Be curious in your mind, even if you are alone, about what next. 

You can end just like this or you can continue with a partner, or with self touch on your arms, belly, or thighs. 

It is not about orgasm. It is about touch, breath, or eye-gazing to wake up your body! 

Our heart has 5 times the magnetism of the brain. I believe I learned in sex therapy school that 90 to 95% of serotonin and 50% of the dopamine (or 500 million neurons) is stored in the brain and the gut… which is 5x the number of neurons in the spinal column). 

Being in connection with our hearts and emotional openness in the moment is the goal of the best sex, for me. What is the best sex for you? Have you spent enough time thinking about it? 

Being tuned into what is going on inside yourself and, if partnered, at the same time as you are holding that the other person is doing this as well. 

 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

n appointment.

5 Tips for Body Confidence for Plus Size Women

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Here are 5 tips on Body Confidence for Plus Size Women!

Address the most common question of “how to love yourself more” when you are in a body that is considered plus-size as a woman.

In this video, we will give you the answer on how to have more body confidence as a plus size woman.

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining us for this.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/​ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

Watch now:

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Aphrodisiac Foods for Valentine’s Day

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There are many different types of aphrodisiac foods in the world, and some of them tend to get us more in the mood than others. 

Aphrodisiac foods are those foods that are commonly associated with increasing one’s sensual and sexual drive. 

A date night might be low key and be about getting away for a night, while sometimes, couples enjoy a more celebrated culinary adventure. 

Food can lay the groundwork for the after-dinner celebrations for many couples.  

Below are some of the more commonly known foods:

One of the most commonly known aphrodisiac foods is Oysters. 

Aphrodisiac Foods

Whether you have them on the half shell, Rockefeller, or simply once a year for Valentines Day these are known to boost libido in both men and women. 

Urban legend has it that Casanova once seduced a consenting virgin by sliding an oyster from his lips to hers. Yum! 

Oysters contain tons of zinc, a mineral important in the production of testosterone and sperm production. Plus, they contain dopamine – one of my favorite brain chemicals.

Pumpkin usually gets all of its attention when the leaves change, and everyone is needing their Pumpkin Spice fix for the year. Enjoying a Pumpkin Spice Latte or a slice of Pumpkin Pie will get you enough fiber and potassium which is great for stamina. Magnesium is also found in pumpkin and is also great for calming nerves and muscles.

Avocados get a great reputation because they are a healthy source of fat for the body. A sexy fun fact about your favorite $2 add-on at Chipotle: the Aztec word for avocado is “ahuacatl,” which means “testicle.” 

And… besides their sex-thetic appeal, avocados also contain high levels of folic acid, vitamin B9, and vitamin B6. All of these vitamins are great for providing your body with more energy and are also known for increasing testosterone production.

A Fun Drink!

When we think about celebrating this next aphrodisiac “food” seems like the most obvious. Champagne is commonly associated with celebrating the New Year, Engagements, Weddings, and other special events in a couple’s life. 

Aphrodisiac Foods

Champagne is about getting in the mood rather than the actual science behind the bubbles. In fact, studies have shown that for women, limited amounts of alcohol can increase subjective desire and potentially lower inhibitions. Larger amounts or chronic consumption can reduce libido and overall health. Therefore, skipping the alcohol is my suggestion. 

Back to Foods!

Another food to try is asparagus. Why? Because it has a high amount of vitamin E which can increase blood and oxygen flow to the genitals. Similarly, asparagus has high levels of potassium, linked to sex hormone production. Plus, if the suggestive phallic shape of the food helps get you in the mood, then excellent!

Salmon is our next food and has many health benefits not only for your sex drive. Many studies have shown salmon is high in omega-3 fatty acids, which is important for your libido. Hence, why you keep seeing it all over vitamin bottles. 

In terms of helping your libido, it is supplying the building blocks for production of estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone. Salmon is more commonly found on daily menus in restaurants, but it is very common to find it on special holiday menus.

A Spice!

Saffron is commonly used for coloring and seasoning food, and it’s known as the world’s most costly spice. The history of saffron as an aphrodisiac dates back to Cleopatra, who reportedly bathed in saffron-infused milk for its aphrodisiac qualities. 

Recent studies have also shown that saffron also helps increase sperm motility in infertile men and can decrease some of the sexual side effects from taking certain antidepressants.

Hot Chilies is a broad category of different types and heat levels. Capsaicin, is the stuff responsible for making chili peppers spicy. Scoville units is another way to determine how spicy a pepper will be. 

Capsaicin stimulates nerve endings on the tongue, which releases epinephrine or adrenaline. This is the chemical that increases your heart rate to release endorphins. We recommend eating them and not actually rubbing chili peppers on your partner’s body for optimum enjoyment.

A Fun Treat
Watermelon is also high in citrulline, a phytonutrient, that increases the amount of nitric acid in the body. With the increase of nitric acid it increases blood flow, blood vessel relaxation, and sexual arousal. 

If you have any more tips on foods, feel free to comment below! 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Looking to Amplify Your Eros During COVID19 – Sex is Complicated During the Pandemic

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Looking to Amplify Your Eros During COVID19 – Sex is Complicated During the Pandemic

 

NYC.gov wrote a guide on safe sex during the pandemic!

Looks like self-pleasure is in style again…welcome back to the renaissance.

Laying around naked all day, working on my computer, wouldn’t be so bad if I actually resided in an actual American Utopia.

Due to COVID19, the guise of “happy” couples and families has been lifted.

As we grieve yet another loss of life, especially for people of color, it is more evident that we are in a trap of the pursuit of happiness, with no promises of ever achieving this state. 

Surrounded by Thanatos (death) energy, the Clinical Sexologist in me ponders way too often what is going to happen as we are distant from others physically, and then do not have skills other than distraction for intimate connection.  

For example, sitting on the balcony with a glass of wine or watching the sunset is not as exciting, after yet another day in quarantine bleeds into the next. 

A professional tip of mine is to consider trading your “usual” Zoom happy hour for something more curious… something more erotically challenging.

Eros is one of the Greek words that translates loosely into “passionate love,” or “romantic love.” This led to the English translation of erotic which I have learned from my undergraduate studies in philosophy and Western Civilization is the human “life energy.”

Therefore, I suggest you begin looking for your LIFE energy during this time, because it matters! 

 

Why? 

Systemic grief is everywhere…especially for New Yorkers. It’s sadness and mourning over destroyed routines, lost jobs, and ill loved ones

When the impact of the COVID19 pandemic isn’t felt on a personal level, we grieve for what was lost. Sometimes adults even report missing their daily coffee shop visit and dating life.

Everyone is living through some level of discomfort, pain, loss, stress, or anxiety; everyone is looking for comfort, and coping the best they can.

What I’m hearing a lot these days from clients is concerns over the challenges of not working, working from home, and anxiety about furloughs.

Similarly, those who were working from home before now struggle with feeling less productive, as they juggle homeschooling their kids and living in relative chaos within their family system.

There’s also the adjustment of spending way more time with your partner or spouse.

Who wants to admit that they need a break and want to see less, not more of this person?

 

Quarantine For Couples

The couples I met with were forced into quarantine quickly with differing expectations of what it would look like.

Some of my clients report that their partner is stuck in “porn land,” using masturbation to destress.

Others find themselves in escalating arguments, yelling at each other in front of the children, or dealing with the ineffective silent treatment when resentments arise.

There are no bars to retreat to, no happy hours or trips to the gym that offer an escape. The situation is constant and present.

I resist the urge to tell them about non-monogamous folks, widows, or couples who don’t live together yet or don’t plan to. 

How must it feel to go months without intimate touch from another person?

These individuals are often living a single life and truly are feeling isolated. 

They don’t have the option to touch their partners and often report to me being extremely “touch depleted.” 

One example would be a young widow, now living alone. She states, “I have not even been able to give or receive a hug from another in sooooooo long….” 

As a sex therapist, I suggest self-pleasure and lubrications. She states, “honestly I am in no mood… AND I know if I change the action, a changed feeling can follow… I will try it.” 

Often, it is easier to cope by reverting to old behavior patterns, withdrawing or becoming hypervigilant. 

It is easy to become disheartened at a time like this, especially when there is a clear divide of how individuals are being treated.

There are a few things I’d like to emphasize to any readers struggling to maintain intimate connections while staying at home in the face of such disruption. The first is that we have to accept there are different levels of erotic connection.


Don’t hold yourself or your partner to past standards that are now unrealistic. There aren’t any romantic date nights in the city that involve great restaurants and wonderful drinks that phase effortlessly into amazing sex.

We have to accept that reality has shifted. 

The stress of the pandemic makes it easy to forget sex as a priority. 

“There’s too much going on right now,” you may tell yourself as the days go by without intimacy. 

Your partner will understand, right?

The danger here is when days turn into weeks. People dealing with stress often resist sex because they feel like it shouldn’t take so much work. They want flirting, foreplay, and all of the other non-verbal signs that lead to sex.

I can tell you that the desire for connection and flow with other humans is still very prevalent, even during a pandemic. You’ve got to find a way to make it happen. That could mean scheduling at home date nights on the calendar or creating codewords with your partner to let them know you need something to happen ASAP. Get creative to keep sex going.

Of course, sex should never be a chore, particularly for people feeling depression, anxiety and grief over the current situation. If you need to put eros on hold, for now, that’s appropriate.

Another thing I’m working with many of my clients in Connecticut and New York is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s interesting how much guilt is attached to taking care of ourselves. I talk to people every day who feel bad about needing a break from kids or their spouses. They think it reflects poorly on them, that they are somehow selfish or not “handling it all.”

Online, we’re bombarded with articles like “10 Things You Can Do to Be More Productive in Quarantine” and the like. We’re stuck in a culture of shame where people who are sad or searching for comfort are told to “be disciplined” and “do more!”

This is a common form of toxic positivity that we all need to be wary of. The endless pressure to stay positive and look on the bright side pushes people struggling deeper into themselves and their grief. 

It’s ok to be down, and it’s ok to talk to someone about it.

I saw this firsthand as one of the responders in the Sandy Hook shooting years ago where trauma and terror were visceral and lasting. Sometimes, the urge to offer encouragement needs to be squelched so people can grieve.

If you’re feeling pain from your past life and the things you miss, it’s ok to live in those feelings for a while.

It’s normal to long for your emotional connections and erotic life

Don’t simply tell yourself “everything’s fine” when it isn’t.

The final thing I’d like to touch on is the importance of honesty in our relationships.

Now, more than ever, we must start from a radically honest position with our spouses, partners, and any other intimate relationships.

Fight the inclination to say everything’s fine when it’s not.

Not everyone can be connected, grounded, and gracious all the time.

Be honest with yourself and find the courage to tell your partner what you need before stress makes things worse.

That’s the best way to avoid non-threatening communication and raging emotions.

Going through this experience can help all of us become attuned to what we need and how we can discuss emotions in a healthy way.

I’m using telehealth in my practice to stay connected and keep seeing clients who are struggling. I began offering text and video therapy sessions to hear them and help them with strategies in real-time.

I’m fortunate that early last year I started thinking through telemedicine, as I saw where the trend was going. My clients wanted more accessible lines of communication outside of our regular on-site, one-hour meeting each week.

Yes, it is fair to say remote therapy isn’t perfect, though I have to accept that it may be the new normal for a bit.

Video and text therapy sessions have ramped significantly since quarantine began. We are all interested to see how things play out as we begin to normalize – whatever that means.

This pandemic is changing so much about how we communicate and interact with others

As we grow closer to understanding our own needs, we have the capacity to listen to those we care about.

Remember, lean in compassionately, with yourself, and with those struggling through this with you, if it is safe to do so. Give yourself the love you need to survive and thrive.

And if all else fails, follow the nyc.gov guidelines on being your own safest sex partner!

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

How To Tie Two Ropes Together Tightly For Kinbaku Bondage

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So you want to learn how to tie two ropes together tightly  and you are ready to learn to extend your kinbaku rope bondage skill set.

In many videos with bondage, there are more than one rope involved in the piece to get the desired outcome.

If you don’t know much about tying rope, watch the entire shibari kinbaku videos listed below to understand.

Yet, when you are at the stage of leveling up on how to tie two ropes together tightly for kinbaku, this is the video for you.

Listen to the tips ahead of time, to ensure you understand how to do this process in your rope bondage.

I have created this video with the goal of teaching you how to tie two ropes together tightly for kinbaku and hope it helps! Hit like if yes!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

GET THE BEDROOM NEGOTIATIONS VANILLA & KINK CHECKLIST!

https://qrzbdtau.pages.infusionsoft.net​  ←HERE

Watch more:

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Behind the Scenes of a Woman Owned Business 

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Starting a woman owned business is fulfilling, terrifying, and a form of radical dedication and commitment. 

I compare my business to a part of my soul, kind of like Mike Michalowicz’ analogy of your business as a Siamese twin – you share the same vital organs.  

Having a woman owned business is similar to being a caretaker for an elderly family member – you do it because you love them – and it comes with challenges weekly, daily, and sometimes… hourly. 

When you’re starting your own business, you need to trust others to perform certain tasks, which creates a system of connection between staff. 

Doing this will allow enough time for you to enjoy the business, while delegating creates a system of collaboration. 

Why I Started It On My Own vs. Joining a Practice

I have wanted to be a therapist since I was 8 years old. I started a Woman-Owned Business because I knew that I would have my own practice and I had my mindset on that as my goal.

Although I knew I wanted to be a therapist, I didn’t exactly know the type of business to launch first. Visualizing a group practice full of wonderful licensed clinicians to help those who have trauma and problems within their lives find access to their pleasure again.   

Knowing what I wanted – a group practice – I was able to make it my priority, and my focus as I grew older.

Joining another practice is a great idea if you do not want to run a business; however, I enjoyed the business aspect.

I could get my one-person business on track without issues because it’s what I enjoy doing. 

Prioritizing my tasks, setting long-term goals, and understanding my limitations mattered. 

Similarly, I also surrounded myself with supportive people who were great sources of motivation to ensure my woman owned business success. I networked and met those in my area to introduce myself. 

What Have Been My Challenges?

Every business comes with its challenges and woman owned businesses are not exempted. The first challenge I encountered was finding capital to begin the business.

Many individual business owners face this challenge because building a business comes with many roles. I have to plan, advertise my business, manage customers, and be accountable for everything in the business.

Ideally, I should be able to get employees for this role. However, it means I’ll be spending more money, which isn’t a financially wise decision when starting a business. However, I could spend less and overcome financial challenges by employing part-time contractors rather than full-time employees.

Taking leaps of faith to expand my business also helped a great deal. So, expanding my business gave me an opportunity to make more profit and overcome the financial challenges that come with a Woman Owned Business.

Many other challenges come with being a business owner, and here are some steps to take charge of the situation:

  • Critically assessing the cause of the challenge – is it your product or service? Are you marketing to the audience that wants these results? 
  • Having realistic, measurable goals, knowing the small steps needed to achieve these goals, tracking your progress, and managing your time.
  • Implementing cost-effective strategies for growing your business.
  • Streamlining and creating systems in your work to save time in the future.
  • Making your roles easy to delegate to maximize productivity.

How I Lead and Motivate

Developing a Woman-Owned business came with lots of obstacles for me, and I can assure you that there are times that I’m worn-out. However, this does not stop me because I know my goal. 

Owning a business also comes with responsibilities, and one of which is the ability to make decisions on my own. I work with coaches, marketing teams, and I read books to learn from other successful entrepreneurs.

Filter out the tips that don’t work for you and apply those that fit with your business.

I was able to lead and motivate by using nonviolent communication to point out an employee’s mistake. Doing this will make them realize that you respect them regardless of the fact that they work for you. Besides, arguing and blaming doesn’t solve anything.

I also prefer to ask questions instead of assuming the answer – to prevent accusations and blaming.

Similarly, I motivate my staff by paying them on time. 

This has been worth it, and it has helped me gain the trust of those that work for me. Unfortunately more often than I feel comfortable with, I hear of clinicians who aren’t getting paid on time in their small women-owned business.

By ensuring that we have sales and revenue, I’m certain that contractors deliver their scope of work at the right time, and that they are happy working with me.

Why is a Healthcare/Clinician Practice Even More Challenging to Start Than, Let’s say, a Retail Store, etc.?

The healthcare practice is a more challenging industry than a retail business because we are dealing with tender emotions. If you have a retail store, you can start your business, advertise your product and sell it the same day. 

It doesn’t work that way when you’re a clinician.

People want to be sure that they’re dealing with the right person before putting their lives and sharing their stories with you. 

Gaining that trust is a crucial part of the business. 

We also are a combined insurance and private pay business, keeping multiple hats on at once. 

All these are parts together with owning a healthcare practice. These and many other reasons make it more challenging than an average business.

Finally, as a business owner, you need to bring out the best in the people around you. 

Before starting a Woman-Owned business, be sure of what you want. If you’re skeptical, you can start by making it a side business venture before making it a full-time business.

This way, you can be sure that your major source of income is intact until your business starts to gain traction. 

It also makes you financially capable of moving your business forward as a woman-owned business when you leave your corporate job.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Tips on How to Save Your Marriage – Once and For All!

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Tips on How to Save Your Marriage – Once and For All!

 

Relationships are hard and learning how to save your marriage is harder; yet, worth it. This is not to say it is all downhill once you walk down the altar. 

I cannot lie and say it is all rose petals and no thorns, though. 

Marriage is a complex component made up of legal bindings. It also falls under the category of romantic love and wanting your partner to be your everything. 

Sure, you have made it from the long-term relationship title into a completely different one – spouse, or husband, or wife. 

Marriages require effort, communication, and a lot of other things that may be made clear in this article.

Marriage is beautiful, yet sometimes it isn’t measured in years because it can end.

If you happen to find “your person,” having a successful marriage is a process to learn to love for both of you. 

Each couple is unique, and your situation and circumstances are different. 

As much as we would like a fairytale relationship and marriage, our expectations are often underwhelmed.

We are sold what marriage looks like in movies, books, music, and television. However, that is just a snapshot. It doesn’t often show the systemic process of the intense process that marriage is. 

There are different reasons that contribute to a couple drifting apart. Since each couple is different, these reasons range from unfaithfulness to a lack of communication to a desire discrepancy. 

We cannot promise that these tips and exercises will help save your particular marriage, yet it has worked for many of our clients. 

 

Some of the ways to start the journey back to being a happy couple include: 

1.Re-evaluate why you became a couple

The decision to be together did not come out of the blue. Both of you weighed your options and decided it was the best thing to do. This was way back, before the wedding and even kids. Before you said yes to marriage, the question to be their partner came first. Why did you decide on them? On the person you cannot stand now.

Ask yourselves what attracted you to each other. Was it their smile or work ethic? Their humanity or kindness? Their suffering? Their potential? 

This will remind you why you fell in love in the first place. It will have both of you reminiscing on a time before you discovered the flaws you see now. Your partner was once this person, and they can be that person for you if they want to.

 

2.Write down important things

Putting your feelings into words is therapy in itself. You can both write a whole list about your partner. What you like about them and what kept you by their side.

After writing down a list of all the things you appreciate about your partner, see if they want to receive it. 

Write down where you envision your new relationship future. 

Write down the steps on how to get there! 

It is also important to write down where you want the relationship to go, because how can you get somewhere without visualizing it first? 

Are there conversations you both need to have? Are children in your future? 

This will help you visualize a future with your partner, which is the whole point of how to save your marriage.

 

3.Set boundaries

Try telling your spouse what they do that has you feeling insecure. Own it with nonviolent communication. 

  • Is it them staying out late during weekends? 
  • Are they spending less time with you? 
  • Do you need them to help out more around the house?

Example: I feel _____ when I have the thought that you are spending less time with me. I am requesting that we _____. Are you able to do that, or can you offer another strategy?

You need to set reasonable requests, and abide by them as well when you are asked. 

If you ask your partner to be back home by 7 p.m. on a Saturday, you need to ask them what they would like as an alternative strategy for them. Maybe they want you home at the same time, or maybe they would rather when you come home late that you give them a massage. 

This negotiation for a collaboration cultivates trust in both individuals, and we all know the importance of trust in our relationships.

 

4.Show appreciation

Make a conscious note to appreciate your partner’s efforts. 

  • Notice when they change a hairstyle or buy a new article of clothing. 
  • Appreciate when they help out around the house.
  • Give compliments like you just met. 
  • Act as if everything they do is the greatest thing you have seen and watch as your love blossoms. 
  • People like to be noticed for their efforts.

For example, if your husband fixes a leak in the kitchen sink, give him a big hug and kiss and say “thank you. I feel so loved right now.” He will feel great about helping out and do it more often. 

It keeps him happy and provides you with the help you desire around the house. A WIN / WIN! 

 

5.Communicate

Miscommunication is a huge damper in relationships. Couples who do not voice their feelings end up holding a lot of remorse and resent. 

Make clear and respectful communication a huge part of your routine. Talking about your feelings towards your partner helps unburden you. It also allows them a chance to correct themselves in an effort to make the marriage work.

 

6.Do something special together

You can set a day weekly aside according to your schedules. 

  • Spend this day with your partner. 
  • You can decide to get dressed up and go out to a restaurant for a fun date. 
  • You can also decide to stay in, order take out and watch movies all day. 

The important thing is to spend quality time doing something special. Use this time to connect and bond with your spouse and talk about erotic opportunities. 

How to save your marriage requires effort from both parties though. 

Long-term relationships have their struggles and nothing is ever smooth sailing all the time. 

You both need to come to the decision that the marriage is failing and needs some work. 

Avoid talking to external parties about your partner, unless they are trained professionals. 

Address all issues with your spouse within the week, as communication is key.

If you need further help with how to save your marriage, please visit us or another licensed professional marital therapy. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.