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Sexual Freedom: Protect Your Rights By Voting

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Sexual Freedom: Protect Your Rights By Voting

 

Sexual freedom is a fundamental right that every human has. It is at the heart of our dignity, equality, and civil liberties captured in the U.S. Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Our sexuality is a natural, fundamental, and valuable aspect of life that cannot be prescribed or legislated. As humans, we should always strive to acknowledge, protect, and celebrate our sexual freedom because they are part of human rights.

Unfortunately, many events in the everyday lives of Americans have been affecting our freedom, and one of the recent ones concerns our sexual rights. To win these short-term races, many politicians use sexual freedom as a tool to get more votes and defeat their opponents in their beliefs and values. You might not be interested in politics (neither are we), yet politics is very much interested in you, especially your sexual freedom.

Ignoring the impact politics has on our lives leads to our lives being guided by people who don’t represent what we stand for and believe in. That is why we need to protect our rights by voting for those who will protect them with us. We’ll refrain from commenting on politicians and parties and analyze how those considered leaders shape our future and affect our lives.

What Is Sexual Freedom? 

To truly understand this problem, we must first understand what sexual freedom is. Fundamental human rights that are focused on sexual freedom include:

  • rights to equality and non-discrimination,
  • the right to be free from torture or any cruel, inhumane, or degrading treatment/punishment,
  • the right to privacy,
  • rights to the highest standard of health possible – including sexual health – and social security,
  • the right to marry and found a family with the free and full consent of involved individuals, and equality during and at the dissolution of marriage,
  • the right to decide the number and spacing of their children,
  • rights to information and education,
  • the rights to freedom of opinion and expression, 
  • the right to an effective remedy in case of a fundamental right violation.

Going through this list, you might feel confused about the terms ‘sexual freedom’ and ‘sexual rights’. Although they are often considered synonyms, there cannot be sexual freedom if there is a violation of even one sexual right. You are not a free being if any of the rights from the list above gets violated, including sexual rights.

And violating a human right doesn’t require an aggressive method, especially in the public arena. As we’re used to associating the word ‘violation’ with aggressive and violent human behaviors, we assume that attempts or acts that are less physically aggressive or visual are not as serious, bad, or concerning as the more obvious ones. And that is where we are all wrong.

Attacking Our Sexual Freedom

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been hearing a lot about Roe v. Wade. On June 24th, 2022, millions of women across the United States lost their right to decide over their bodies once the Supreme Court overturned abortion rights in half of the states. That led to further political discussions where 26 states are considering how to completely ban or severely restrict abortion, with already 13 states with trigger laws. 

This event is not impactful just because it affects more than one state in the United States. It has been a number one topic in the media because it is a pure presentation of a violation of human rights. Just because there is no physical act of aggression doesn’t make it less terrifying. 

According to the Guttmacher Institute, there were 930,160 abortions in 2020. If all states were to ban or restrict abortion, this would mean that a million women in the U.S. would be denied to decide over their bodies. One million women would be denied their freedom and fundamental human rights. Almost 50 years ago, back in 1973, the Supreme Court legalized the abortion in Roe v. Wade case. Why are we returning to a time when society denied women adequate medical care, support, and their rights?

Effects of Losing Sexual Freedom

In this case, unfortunately, history repeats itself. Instead of going into politics and understanding why someone would use abortion as a way to win elections and improve their public image, let’s consider what happens on a more individual level.

Anytime someone is denied their sexual freedom or any other type of freedom, they are not able to eliminate a part of themselves to fit in better. For instance, a pregnant woman who doesn’t want to proceed with her pregnancy cannot just become un-pregnant because abortion is illegal in her country. A man in love with another man who wants to enter a same-sex marriage won’t suddenly stop being gay just because he lives in a closed-minded community.

That leads to a wide spectrum of people who fall out of the public sphere. The United States must provide each individual with equal human rights and protect these rights by all means possible. However, there is still a lot of room for improvement when it comes to sexual freedom. Such discussions, whether presented in media or converted into laws, result in people feeling unheard, invisible, rejected, weird, unnatural, miserable, and so on.

How to Fight For Our Fundamental Rights

Understanding the gravity of things helps us understand better and react more rationally. We cannot change the political leaders, yet we can choose more wisely the next time. You don’t have to be a fan of politics. Nor even have to know everything about the politician or political party. You should know how well these people would represent your beliefs and values if elected. Would they care enough to protect someone like you? Or do they see people as a set of numbers used in a popularity contest?

Voting helps you protect all your fundamental rights, from your sexual freedom to the freedom to work and education. Would you be okay with 13 states prohibiting girls from going to school under the pretension of nurturing traditional values? Would you be okay with 13 states allowing child slavery under the pretension of teaching children practical skills? If that provoked a strong ‘hell no’, why should it be any different with sexual freedom? After all, each of our fundamental rights is protected by the U.S. Constitution for a reason.

Stop considering voting a political activity and think of it as voting for a safer and more inclusive future that improves how we treat each other and teaches us how to set a better example for generations to come. 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Is My Husband Gay & What To Do About It

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Is My Husband Gay & What To Do About It

 

If you’re asking yourself ‘Is my husband gay?’ then this article is for you. Not every gay person will come out to you easily, even if we’re talking about spouses. Our sexuality can be something we struggle to understand on our own, let alone be able to have conversations about it. 

So, before you accuse your partner of hiding this secret from you, let’s look at the most common signs to answer is my husband gay and if he, then what.

How to Tell if Your Husband Is Gay

Of course, the clearest and easiest way to find out if your husband is gay is if he tells you. Unfortunately, many gay husbands will hide their homosexuality from their heterosexual spouses, who begin to wonder should they confront their gay husbands and how. These are some of the signs you should look for:

  • The lack of or decrease in sexual activity throughout the years. He will maybe try to tell you that sex is not an important aspect of your marriage for him or that is normal for couples to have less sex when in long-term relationships. 
  • He doesn’t get sexually excited by normal sexual activities and accuses you of being too aggressive or a nymphomaniac when having normal sexual needs. 
  • In bed, he acts more mechanical than passionate with a lack of interest in foreplay.
  • He might claim he feels depressed, frustrated, or under a lot of pressure for a long period of time and blame it for his lack of sexual desire.
  • Hides sexual enhancers like Viagra or Cialis, yet doesn’t show interest in having sex with you.
  • He likes kinky sex and suggests using sex toys that will stimulate his prostate. 
  • His computer history is often deleted and doesn’t show any recent search results. 
  • You have found gay pornography on his phone, computer, or magazines hidden somewhere in the bedroom, while he claims they are not his. 
  • He has started investing more time in himself by going to the gym and working on changing the way he looks. 
  • Says he is not happy in the marriage, yet is unable to explain the reasons for it. 
  • He is often unavailable and tells you he is working long hours or doing activities you cannot track. 
  • He shared he was sexually abused in his childhood or adolescence. 
  • Refers a lot to homosexuality in conversations, whether it’s to make homophobic comments or any gay-related comments. 

Keep in mind that exposing just one of the signs doesn’t imply your husband is gay. For instance, if your husband has decided to go to the gym more often, it might be because he is worried about his health or he wants to impress you. However, if you noticed more than two signs in your marriage, it is time to seriously consider the fact that your husband is gay. 

Is He Gay? Yes, He Is Gay – What to Do? 

If these signs constantly appear in your marriage and you’ve been suspecting for a while now, chances are your husband is gay. It’s completely normal feeling a combination of emotions and feeling lost when trying to find the best way to handle it. Most women in this situation have reported experiencing guilt, shame, devastation, hurt, rage, betrayal, repulsion, and responsibility. Of course, each experience depends on the individual, so make sure you allow yourself some time to process all of it. 

The first thing you will need to do is accept it’s nobody’s fault. Your husband is not intentionally gay just to hurt you nor you are guilty because you haven’t realized your husband is gay before you married him. Your husband’s homosexuality is his responsibility and you couldn’t affect it in any way. There are many reasons why men are not embracing their homosexuality and marry a heterosexual woman, from thinking it will erase their homosexuality to belonging to a traditional family, like the one he grew up in. You will know the reason only if you talk to your husband. 

Try to first process it on your own because the conversation will not be productive for either of you if you’re unable to talk rationally. Try to explain how you feel to yourself first before going to your husband. Be clear on how to verbalize everything that is happening in your mind or heart, and find appropriate words. Prepare yourself for tears and don’t waste your energy on building the facade to show you’re not hurt. You are, and you have every right to be. 

The Talk

Once you feel prepared for the conversation, invite your husband to talk about it. As you will be the one who will reveal his secret, keep in mind that setting the tone for the conversation is important. Try not to attack, blame, shout, or say anything that might make him abandon the conversation. You deserve to know his side of the story and by being calm and asking the right questions, you might get that. 

First, tell him you’ve been suspecting for a while he is gay and lists the signs that confirm that suspicion. While doing so, make sure you’re not rushing into proving you’re right. Instead, share with him how all of this made you feel and that you understand there is nothing to do about his homosexuality, yet your marriage is the responsibility of both. Ask him why he has never told you that he is gay. Ask him how long he knows the truth about his same sex orientation.. 

Whatever was tormenting you while gathering evidence of is my husband gay,, ask him. However, make sure these questions are not filled with blame and accusations. For instance, instead of asking ‘How could you do this to me and our marriage?’, you can ask ‘What was stopping you from telling me the truth?’. 

Keep in mind it’s not just the words you choose, it’s the tone you use to talk to him. It’s the place and time you have chosen for this conversation. Besides having control over the conversation, you are the one who is putting his secret out in the open, so make sure you’re also aware of that. Not to say you’re not the victim here, because you are, yet you will get more value from an honest, open talk than blaming him for destroying your marriage. 

 Get CONNECT now

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

wealth psychologist

Wealth Psychologist: Helping High Net Worth Individuals and Families

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Wealth Psychologist: Helping High Net Worth Individuals and Families

 

Do you know what a wealth psychologist is? Licensed psychologists have a specialty in helping high-net-worth individuals and families cope with wealth stressors. Wealth psychologists will provide their clients with tools and insights that help them navigate concerns, enhance their relationships, reduce and manage their stress levels. And consult on inheritance concerns, struggles, and obstacles. 

It is one of the niches of psychology. Wealth psychologists will empathize with the struggles of wealthy individuals and families. Working with them to improve their life quality and the satisfaction that money brings instead of carrying a burden of guilt. For people who either earn significant amounts of money or come from highly wealthy families. Talking to a wealthy psychologist will bring tremendous benefits over undergoing regular therapy.

Money & Your Wellbeing

We are taught to think that having money solves all problems. Naturally, we work hard to get better at our jobs and earn more money. However, as we start making more money and advancing on that career ladder, we notice that our problems are not going away. Yes, you will probably be able to buy a nicer car or a bigger house. Yet money doesn’t guarantee more happiness or lack of problems in our lives.  

If money is not affecting positively your wellbeing, it will bring a set of unpleasant feelings and experiences. Oftentimes, when an individual starts earning enough money to cover their basic needs and certain conveniences, we start being driven by other desires that most of the time decrease our wellbeing.

Wealthy individuals have surpassed that earning limit and are trying to understand what would enhance their well-being and how to leave behind everything that will affect them negatively. As simple as it sounds. It is actually quite challenging to build a healthy relationship with money and not allow it to control you in any way. This is what wealth psychologists help with. 

Psychology & Wealth

Most of us are not taught to have a healthy relationship with money. Either we are saving too much because of fear of losing it or we’re spending more than we can afford. Besides these two extreme poles, there are dozens of unhealthy ways we approach money in our lives. For instance, many people who become high earners overnight will forget what makes them happy and will not know how to contribute to their wellbeing.

There are numerous examples of poor relationships with money, and they don’t all involve poor money management. On the contrary, wealthy individuals are noticing their well-being is being decreased as their bank account numbers continue growing. 

As said, money doesn’t guarantee happiness. That is why wealth psychologists tap into self-knowledge, self-awareness. And self-acceptance to help these individuals understand both their strengths and weaknesses. When working with a wealth psychologist, high-income earners start exploring the complexities of their thoughts, feelings, and emotions involving money.

Most of the time, these high-net-worth individuals seeking help from wealth psychologists will be:

  • Business leaders struggling to confide in others and need help with safely examining their thinking, assumptions, emotions, fears, and suspicions.
  • Families seeking to reduce tensions between partners by improving their communication skills and family dynamics.
  • Individuals wishing to improve their life-satisfaction levels, self-empowerment, and confidence, or reduce isolation, loneliness, anxiety, or sadness. 
  • Inheritors trying to reduce feelings of guilt due to inherited wealth and begin with self-actualization and creating their own legacy. 

Although these four categories are most common in wealth psychology, other individuals might also feel they are not improving their well-being with money. In situations such as divorce, business sales, or an unexpected windfall. Most individuals will find it challenging to build a healthy relationship with money. Which might even affect the emotional impact of stressors and the way they make their decisions. If not dealt with in the right way, a person might even lose all their money because they felt unworthy of it. Guilty of inheriting it or simply spent it on things that didn’t benefit their wellbeing.

Mental Health & Money

Mental health issues and disorders can affect literally anyone, and money cannot protect you from them. In fact, many high-net-worth individuals will face mental health disorders such as bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder. A wealth psychologist can bring numerous benefits to these individuals and help them improve their life quality and satisfaction. 

For instance, high-earning individuals who have started working with a wealth psychologist have noticed their feelings of depression and anxiety have decreased. With the right therapy, the individual will learn valuable coping strategies and relaxation techniques that will help them manage stressful situations and preserve their mindfulness. 

Also, wealth psychologists help reduce feelings of guilt associated with wealth. Many times, when a person inherits wealth from another family member, they will feel like they don’t deserve this money. A wealth psychologist will help them explore what they wish to do with the inherited money. While also taking away the feeling of guilt associated with it. 

When someone is experiencing problems involving money or their relationship with it, they are unable to see anything outside their perspective. However, when in therapy, a person is gaining new perspectives and mapping their relationship with wealth, which helps them strengthen their wellbeing as well. 

Wealthy therapy also improves communication and teaches individuals how to improve their relationships with families and close friends when discussing topics around money. Whether that is inheritance or philanthropy. 

Conclusion

Just like it is with any event occurring in our life, being a high earner, inhering money. Or coming from a wealthy family, comes with its set of issues. These individuals will often struggle to find the right support as most people see wealthy people as more happier and fulfilled than themselves. This is why a wealth psychologist can help these individuals by understanding the challenges, emotions, and feelings they deal with and teaching them how to improve their well-being and feel good about their lives, regardless of their money. 

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Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

how to flirt with a guy

Learn How To Flirt With A Guy

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Learn How To Flirt With A Guy

 

Do you remember the last time you saw a cute someone in your favorite restaurant and bar and spent the night observing them because you didn’t know how to flirt with a guy? Well, it happens to more people than you would imagine. Although it’s completely natural to come up and introduce yourself to someone you like, we often feel blocked, whether it’s because of our insecurities or something else.

As flirting is tied to having sex, it is a part of our biological instinct. In other words, it will not be that difficult for you to start flirting and enjoy it all the way. So, if you need a bit of encouragement for the next time you see a guy you like, you will find everything you need to know about flirting in this article.

Boosting Your Confidence

To really feel good when flirting, you will need to boost your confidence first. You’ll be surprised how little it takes for you to feel great about yourself. Even a new haircut or a pair of jeans will help you feel like the queen of flirting. If you haven’t worn makeup for a long time, why not put on a bit of lipstick and mascara, and you’ll notice the instant change in how you see yourself in the mirror? 

If you weren’t planning on flirting on the night you went out with your best friend, and still saw a guy you’d really like to get to know. There are a few tricks to boost your confidence even in an environment like that. Go into the ladies’ room and take a look at yourself in the mirror. Rapidly scan for the things you like about yourself tonight. For instance, how you did your hair, how your blouse matches your eyes, or how your face looks well-rested because of that afternoon nap. Literally, anything can be your confidence booster!

Master The Small Talk

If you plan to flirt, you have to be prepared to do the small talk as well. Getting good at the small talk will definitely upgrade your flirting game, so you can start practicing it with people you see in the grocery shop, people from other departments at work, your neighbors, etc. As much as most irrelevant small talks revolve around weather, traffic, or news. Make sure you avoid these topics when trying to flirt with the guy you like.

Instead, start the conversation with something observational. You can share with them you really like the DJ the bar has tonight or that your crush is eating your favorite dish from this restaurant. If there is some spark between you two, this will be more than enough to make them notice you and want to spend some time talking to you. 

Flirting Starts With The Eyes

If you feel shy when looking someone you like in the eye, you will need to practice it until you perfect it as the chemistry mostly happens in the stare. Think of eye contact as more than just seducing someone or feeling uncomfortable when they look at you. By maintaining eye contact, you will also get their feedback. You will see which topics they are interested to talk about and what makes their eyes wander across the room because they don’t feel invested in the interaction.

Similar to small talk, you can practice eye contact with the people around you. Oftentimes, those who feel a bit shy to look their crush in the eye and flirt with time are also uncomfortable with the eye contact with other people in their daily lives. 

Stay Positive And Smile

People will feel attracted to you if you’re positive, smiling, and laughing with the people you’re with. Of course, if the entire flirting situation is making you feel uncomfortable, it will be difficult to be the life of the party. Yet you can still have a smile on your face and laugh if someone said something funny.

Keeping a positive attitude will also help you feel good about yourself. That’s why you should think about who you bring with you to a night of flirting. Invite your friends that make you feel good and avoid inviting friends who prefer deeper conversations as it will be difficult to pay attention to both them and your crush. The friend who knows you’re trying to master the flirting game will be the friend who will be your best support in these moments. 

Tease Your Crush

Okay, this is where the really flirt comes in. Yes, you’ve gotten really good at small talk and maintaining eye contact, yet the teasing part is what will bring you the results you were hoping for since the moment you noticed him. A lot of guys will feel attracted to a woman with a great sense of humor and crack a few jokes about him. With that being said, you will need to be careful. The guy might not be amused by your joke, so keep it light.

The safe way to play it is to tease him by giving him a compliment. For instance, you can say that you won’t call a Uber to take you home because his big, strong hands can carry you and your friend. If you noticed he was bored by the company of his friend. You can make a joke about how glad you are to manage to talk to him before he rushed out of the place while his friend was at the restroom. 

In Final Words

Don’t think of flirting as an exam where you’ll fail or pass, think of it as a game. If you didn’t manage to get the attention of the guy tonight, there will be another one you will like. Try not to take it so seriously as you will miss all the fun that all this flirting and seducing brings.

Don’t focus too much on the results. Enjoy the game and if something doesn’t go as planned. Look at it from the positive side and make a joke or two about it with your friend. Keep in mind that nobody will have the perfect score when it comes to flirting. So just make the best of it. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

how to flirt over text

How To Flirt Over Text Like A Pro

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How To Flirt Over Text Like A Pro

 

You’ve met someone you like, yet not sure how to flirt over text and invite them for a coffee? Don’t worry, this happens more often than you’d imagine, and luckily, it’s an art you can learn to master. Due to the beautiful little devices, we carry around with us all the time, we’re able to use them to start a conversation with someone we like, ask them out on a date, or chat a bit to see if they are the right fit for us. 

The key in texting with someone you like is to learn as much as you can about them, while also trying to raise their interest in you by sharing information you feel comfortable with. So, if you’re one of the many romantics who’d love to flirt over text with someone, here is everything you’ll ever need to know about it. 

K.I.S.S.

As much as you’re probably thinking this section is about kissing, it’s an acronym for ‘Keep it short and sweet’. Whenever in doubt about how to start a conversation over text or respond to a question that your crush asked you, it’s best to go back to this rule. Avoid complex sentences or sharing thoughts that will be challenging to explain over text. Postpone anything related to politics, religion, or any other philosophical topic as the conversation material on a date.

For instance, instead of inviting your crush for a coffee by explaining why you can’t stop thinking about them, invite them by asking a simple question, and then share why you are interested in them for the date.

Lighthearted Tone

When beginning to fall in love with someone, it typically feels like butterflies and rainbows regarding your age. Some people will maybe try to seem too serious or mature, so they’ll set the tone that will not seem flirty. To avoid that, you need to be cheerful, positive, and lighthearted. After all, you feel good about someone, so why not make them feel good about you too? 

Before sending your text, make sure you read it out loud to get an idea of the tone someone might read it once they receive it. For those who are not certain even after that, you can always share it with your best friend and ask them how they would feel if they received this text. Each person is different, and sometimes it’s good to hear different people’s opinions. 

Sincere Flattery

A sincere compliment goes a long way. With that being said, keep in mind that the focus here is on honesty. What did you like about this person? What makes them unique? Keep in mind that when complimenting them, you don’t complicate it too much. By simply saying that you liked how smart their observation was, how they looked cute today, or how curious you are to hear their thoughts on something will be sufficient for the text. 

If you know almost nothing about this person, try not to experiment with creativity as it might provoke an opposite effect. Avoid writing poetry to them or sending riddles as they might think it’s creepy to receive such texts from someone they don’t know. 

Ask a Question

Once you send that flirty, simple, positive text to your crush, the first concern you will have is whether they will respond or not. That’s why you should always end your text with a question. Depending on the message content, you should use the opportunity to start a brief conversation with them. 

The question can be about their opinion on the topic you started or simply about their availability to meet you. This means that inviting someone on a date over text should always include one of the following questions: ‘When would it fit your best?’, ‘When are you free to meet?’, ‘Would be interested in a coffee this weekend?’, etc.

 

No Response – How To Act?

Even though you’ve spent almost an hour polishing the perfect text and jumped each time someone texted you thinking it’s them, there is a chance this person will not text you back. Regardless of what their reasons for that might be, it’s not a pleasant feeling, especially if you’ll see this person around. 

To help you feel less awkward about the situation, just keep it breezy and positive. The next time you see them, smile and greet, and if you’re stuck near them, just address the elephant in the room. Tell them you’ve sent them that text, and you don’t want things to be awkward between you two, so you suggest you both pretend nothing happened. 

This type of uncomfortable situation might happen if you decided to ask a colleague or a person that worked with you on the same project, and they don’t respond. If they see that you’re not affected by it. They will feel more natural around you and you can go back to how it was before the text. 

The ‘NO’ List

If you’re new to flirting over text, you’ll need to be aware of the few things you should never include in your messages. We’ve already mentioned that it’s best to avoid poems and riddles. Yet there are other things that you’ll need to know. 

  • Don’t share your personal information such as your ID details, passwords, bank account details with anybody over text.
  • If you’ve never met the person, don’t share your home or office address with them over text. 
  • Don’t send explicit photos of yourself over text, especially if you’re just getting to know the person. 
  • Don’t swear or be rude regardless of the point you’re trying to make as anything that needs more context shouldn’t be in your text.
  • Avoid sharing photos that include other people.
  • Don’t exchange too many texts with them before meeting them as you’d want to leave some topics for your conversation in person. 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Top Phrases That Doomed Couples Say

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Top Phrases That Doomed Couples Say

 

If you’re wondering what might be these top phrases that doomed couples say, you’ll be surprised how many times you have heard them so far. Whether it’s from parents in your child’s school, your neighbors, or your colleagues at work, how someone talks and what they talk about tells a lot about their relationship and life in general. 

For instance, couples that are trying to make you feel miserable, trying to make you live their lives, or putting you in the middle of their drama are some of the situations we’ll cover in this article. Words are a powerful weapon, yet they are also a great indicator of relationship quality.

Maybe you have an old friend and you’re worried about their partner not being the best choice for them or you don’t want to be near messy relationships. Whatever the reason might be, these phrases will help you understand when you should stop spending time with a couple that takes the fun out of every lovely dinner or barbeque party.

1. “This was the first time we fought in public.”

You’re at a great restaurant with this couple your spouse invited after a business meeting and as much as you were looking forward to it, the tension between the couple destroyed the entire night. They are sarcastically responding and interrupting each other until the moment when things get so heated that they start to fight loud in front of you and the entire restaurant. 

After the fight, they will start apologizing and saying this was the first time they fought in public. They will show all the signs of embarrassment and ask you to forgive them. However, this type of couple rarely does only one show like this in their relationship and you might end up in the middle of another scene if you continue spending time with them. 

2. “You have to have kids, it will fulfill your life just like it did to us.”

When will you get married? When will you two have kids? Why don’t you work on the second child so your kid doesn’t feel lonely? 

How many times have you heard these questions from your family, distant relatives, and colleagues, and when a couple with kids starts asking these questions, they become even more frustrated. Many couples who others will only be happy if they do the same things they did are not happy at all. 

These people rarely don’t know what happiness or fulfillment is because happiness can mean different things to different people. One person can be perfectly happy in a marriage with children, while another will feel more fulfilled with their career or having a vivid social life. 

3. “You can do so much better.”

Although we’ve all been in one of those relationships where we know that the other person is not right for us, judging your new date just on their looks or the short amount of time a couple spent talking to your date is unacceptable. Mostly, this phrase will refer to the way someone looks or their profession, and doesn’t consider other. More relevant factors like the connection you two share, their emotional intelligence, the way they treat you, etc.

Many couples who believe that their status is the most important thing on the planet will try to get you in that game with them. They will advise you to spend too much money on clothes you can’t afford, go out only with people who are at your level or higher, go with them on luxury trips, and more. Yet, if this is not something you are looking for yourself, this type of comment might make you feel uncomfortable and the best thing would be just to leave with your date.

4. “Men/women here are difficult to date, you should try to find someone in more exotic countries.”

Don’t take dating advice from people who blame the entire culture when it’s difficult to find someone to click with. There is indeed nothing wrong with falling in love with someone from a different country, yet that isn’t the factor that will make someone a more desirable partner. If the person is interesting to you, it truly doesn’t matter if they are from your city, another country. Or even continent. 

By following such advice, you are setting yourself up for failure. You don’t fall in love with someone’s culture, you fall in love with them as a person. If you haven’t been on a nice date for a while, the least you can do is not to listen to a couple who has been in your shoes long ago.

5. “We’re the nicest couple you’ll ever meet.”

 Wow, how many times have you heard this one? Typically, those who will say they are the nicest couple or persons are the opposite of it in general. That said, it doesn’t mean they will convert to your worst enemies. It simply means that these people feed off impressing other people and not making real connections with them.

They will often lack social skills and emotional intelligence. So when talking to them each time, you might feel like they are not listening to you or don’t care about you. And probably, you are right. While you’re interacting with them, they are already scanning the room to find a new person to impress.

The Bottom Line

You will know you are talking to a doomed couple if, during the conversation. They are making you feel uncomfortable in any way. They can be passive-aggressive with a smile on their face and seem like they are trying their best to be your friends, yet something doesn’t feel right. You will often not know how to describe it or explain it to another person, and you will not have to. If you feel this way, it means that you are dealing with a doomed couple. So, the best thing to do would be to just leave and never put yourself in this type of situation anymore.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Attachment Theory In Practice: Avoidant, Anxious & Beyond

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Attachment Theory In Practice: Avoidant, Anxious & Beyond

 

Attachment theory in practice helps us understand and respond better to the needs of humans in the context of their life and relationships. It is focused on connections between people, especially in long-term relationships, including romantic partners and bonds between a parent and a child. 

Before going deeper into learning about attachment theory in practice and naming the benefits it provides for clients, it is essential to understand what attachment is first. Once we know this, we can understand how attachment theory in practice has an impact on different types of relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment can best be described as an emotional bond one person has with another. The first bonds we form as children are with our caregivers, and it has an enormous impact on how we connect with other people throughout our lives. Attachment is also valuable when keeping the infant close to its mother, which improves its chances of survival. 

Behavioral theories of attachment suggest that we learn to attach, while other theories challenge that idea by proposing that children are born with a natural drive to dorm attachment with their caregivers. 

It is more likely that the children who maintain close to their attachment figure and receive comfort and protection from them will survive to adulthood more easily than those who don’t. Yet, defining successful attachment is not as simple as it seems. Behaviorists will suggest it is the food that leads to forming an attachment behavior, while others propose nurturance and responsiveness instead of food. 

In attachment theory, the central theme is that primary caregivers, available and responsive to the needs of an infant, will allow it to develop a sense of security. The child knows that its caregiver is dependable and that forms a secure base for the infant to later explore the world. 

Stages of Attachment

Many researchers have analyzed the number of attachment relationships children form from an early age. This led to the attachment theory accepting four different phases of attachment which help therapists and mental health professionals to provide adequate care and treatment.  

  • Pre-Attachment Stage – Up to three months, infants will not demonstrate any particular attachment to their caregivers. The common signals of an infant, crying and fussing, will attract the attention of their caregivers and the infant’s positive response will motivate the caregiver to stay close. 


  • Indiscriminate Attachment – Between 6 weeks to 7 months, the infant will start showing preferences for its primary and secondary caregivers. During this period, children develop trust that their caregivers will respond to their needs. They accept care from others, yet they are beginning to distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar faces, providing a more positive response to the primary caregiver. 


  • Discriminate Attachment – From 7 to 11 months, an infant will show a strong attachment and preference for one specific person. When separated from that person, a child will protest and show symptoms of separation anxiety, while also displaying anxiety around unfamiliar people, known as stranger anxiety.

  • Multiple Attachments – When 9 months old, a child will start forming strong emotional bonds with their secondary caregivers as well, so their attachment will extend beyond the primary attachment figure. This might include the father, older siblings, or grandparents. 

Attachment Factors

As much as developing attachment towards someone seems like a pretty straightforward process, two main factors can influence how these attachments develop. One of them is an opportunity for attachment, in which children who don’t have a primary care figure may fail to develop the trust needed to create an attachment. 

The other factor is quality caregiving, which refers to caregivers responding quickly and consistently, so a child will learn they can depend on those responsible for their care. To me, this is the essential basis for any attachment. 

Attachment Patterns

When looking closer into it, there are four main patterns of attachment:

  • Ambivalent attachment: This child will be very distressed when their parent leaves. It is also one of the most uncommon patterns in the United States. As a result of parents being absent in a certain way, a child cannot depend on their primary caregiver to be around when they need them. 
  • Avoidant attachment: A child with an avoidant attachment tends to avoid its parents or caregivers, displaying no preference between its caregiver and an unfamiliar person. This attachment pattern is often a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers and makes children avoid seeking help later in life because they were punished for doing it with their caregivers. 
  • Disorganized attachment: A child with a disorganized attachment will show a confusing combination of behavior, seeming confused, disoriented, or dazed. They might even seem to avoid or resist the parent and their lack of attachment is typically connected to inconsistent caregiver behavior. Here, caregivers may even serve as both a source of comfort and fear, resulting in disorganized behavior later in life as well.
  • Secure attachment: A child depending on their caregivers show distress each time they are separated and joy when reunited with them. Even if the child seems upset, they feel safe because they know their caregiver will return. When feeling scared, a securely attached child will comfortably look for reassurance from caregivers. 

Attachment Theory in Practice

Understanding attachment theory in practice can be challenging. That’s why whether you or someone you love is experiencing attachment issues, the suggestion is to consider a mental health professional. Because we start forming bonds from an early age, it is often difficult to understand why our current behavior. And beliefs are affected by something that happened decades ago.

That said, regardless of the attachment pattern mentioned above, therapy can help every individual to learn a set of techniques that will facilitate their life, especially the aspect of relationships. Even if a person suffered trauma in their childhood and has attachment issues from it in adulthood. There are types of therapy that specifically help patients looking to improve their romantic lives, yet also bonds they form with everyone else in their life. 

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Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Biggest Divorce Regrets

7 Biggest Divorce Regrets You Should Be Aware Of

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7 Biggest Divorce Regrets You Should Be Aware Of

 

There is another side of getting married and it might come with many Biggest Divorce Regrets.

If you have chosen to get married, it will probably be difficult for you to imagine that your marriage might end one day. However, divorces do happen, and it’s quite important to listen to stories of those who have divorced their spouses to try to avoid making the same mistakes.

Being informed about the most common divorce regrets will not harm your marriage. On the contrary, it might save it and allow you to fall in love even more with the person you are hoping to spend the rest of your life with. So, if you’re keen to have the marriage you will be proud of. Make sure you read our list of divorce regrets, think about them. And maybe even discuss them with your spouse.  

1.Depending On My Spouse

There are many people who will enter a marriage with unrealistic expectations or even wrong intentions. Getting married is something often seen as an achievement in life, instead of something that is your decision that came out of a place of love. Some people will assume that being married will make them seem adult in the eyes of others. While completely ignoring the fact that marriage needs constant work and investment to work. Another area where many people will choose to depend on their spouse is their happiness. Married couples will often blame one another for their misery, sadness, frustration, or any other negative emotion when in reality. Your happiness is your own responsibility. 

2.Not Communicating Your Feelings

The most common reason why both relationships and marriages don’t work is the lack of quality communication. Choosing to fix problems on your own or having your feelings not shared with your partner instead of discussing it all with your partner will cause additional problems in your marriage. During your marriage, you will experience difficult situations together on your own. And connecting with each other in times like these can only strengthen your relationship even more. 

3.Not Being Accountable Enough

Many divorced people will often regret they have spent all this time arguing with their partner and blaming each other for different marital issues when they were supposed to be more accountable. After all, by not listening to each other and realizing what you can do to improve your marriage. It will be almost impossible to solve any issue you two might have. So, next time, instead of activating your fighting mode. Try to talk about it with your partner, listen to them carefully and determine what you can do to improve the situation. 

4.Taking Couples Therapy More Seriously

It’s not just about going to couples therapy, it’s about taking it seriously. In other words, you have to be willing to put in the work that’s necessary for your marriage to function. For instance, your counselor might advise you as a married couple to go out more often or to talk more about your emotions. And not doing so will not result in how you want it to. You can go how many times you want and talk to as many therapists as you like. Yet the most important piece of that ‘marriage happiness’ puzzle is you. Whatever your therapist suggests because it might enhance the connection between you two, make sure you truly dedicate yourself to it. 

5.Not Setting Boundaries With In-Laws

When you marry the person you want to build your life with, keep in mind you are not marrying their family. As much as they should be important to you, they should never be equally important as your marriage. These relationships you build with the in-laws will affect your marriage, so it’s crucial to set boundaries. Regardless of whether they are rude, intrusive, or maybe even the best in-laws in the world. You will need to let them know that your marriage comes first. This also implies that you and your spouse have every right to decide whatever you want for yourselves. Yet also that you are keen on keeping everything that falls under your intimacy away from them.

6.Combing Their Finances

Often in marriage, we will think that everything needs to be shared, even the finances. However, if you were to ask the divorced couples, they would advise you quite the opposite. Not only will the money be difficult to divide if the marriage doesn’t work, yet it might also cause a lot of marital issues. For instance, one person might spend more than the other. Which might lead to blaming this person if you’re not able to pay or purchase the thing you were saving for. Such as a new house, car, or your child’s university. 

7.Being Addicted To Social Media

Yes, we’re all on social media, however, the hours we spend on these platforms should be used for something more valuable and real. Spending hours on Facebook or Instagram can harm your relationship because you might be oblivious of the signs your partner is showing. They might be unhappy, stressed, or sad, and you will not see that because you’re attached to your phone. Use social media as little as possible for distraction. Remind yourself that the fun you can have with your partner exceeds any entertainment your phone can provide you with. 

All in all, each marriage comes with its sets of challenges. This doesn’t mean you need to give up, it means you need to work harder to make it work. Having a beautiful, successful marriage will provide you with so much happiness in your life that no other thing can replace. So make sure you cherish it while it lasts.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Fetish Life: How To Find Your Spot & Connect With The Community

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Fetish Life: How To Find Your Spot & Connect With The Community

 

If you always knew there is a little bit of kink to you, you have probably researched a bit about what a fetish life implies. At first, it might seem quite challenging to understand what you want to experience in it and more importantly. How to connect with the kink community and potentially find someone you’ll explore this world with. 

One of the reasons why it is harder to become a part of a subculture like this is that it is more disguised than the rest of them. Although recently sex topics have been put on the mainstream agenda, fetishes and BDSM lifestyle are still kind of taboo. 

Fetish Explained

If you’re fantasizing about stepping out of the vanilla sex and trying something different, you will probably have a fetish you want to explore deeper. Kinky sex is an umbrella term that involves all sexual behaviors that are not considered vanilla or traditional sex, however, there is no official definition of it. What someone considers kinky, another person might consider vanilla. For instance, you might think that doggy style with a few spankings means having kinky sex. While another person will want to be blindfolded and ball-gagged in this type of sex to consider it kinky. 

A big part of kinky sex involves fetishes, fixations on something that seems nonsexual – feet, latex, leather, tickling, uniforms, etc. Many people who are a part of the fetish world will need their preferred fetish to become sexually aroused. The difference between fetishes and kinks is that kinks can be a part of a sexual play with your partner. Yet it’s not necessary to get you sexually aroused. 

Different Types of Fetishes

There are probably more fetishes that you could count, yet there are a few of them that are pretty common in this community, such as feet fetish, role play, exhibitionism, voyeurism, breath play, and dominant and submissive play. Once you start meeting other people who are into this lifestyle. They will probably prefer these fetishes, and also have a few others that you probably never heard of. After all, a fetish can be so unique that it’s only applicable to that one person. 

For instance, among the rarest fetishes, you can find arousal to statues (agalmatophilia), arousal to touch a stranger in a public space (frotteurism), arousal to touch, lick. And kiss someone’s nose (nasolingus). And arousal to being tickled by feathers (pteronphilia).

Places For Kinksters

As you could have imagined, there are not so many physical places where people with fetishes will gather and discuss deliberately their lifestyle. Most of these interactions happen online on the websites, platforms, and apps targeting this community. To help you connect with people who share your passion, we have gathered a list of such online places:

  • Fetlife: A place that gathers the entire BDSM, fetish, and kinky community. Think of it as Facebook for kinksters.
  • Feeld: This sex-positive app will help you find someone who matches your kink, and you can even use it as a couple. 
  • #open: The app allows you to list your kinks and fetishes on your profile and is also ideal for polyamorous couples. 
  • KinkD: This is a perfect place for open-minded people who are considered about the privacy and security of dating apps like this because of ti photo verification process. 

Pros & Cons of a Fetish Life

If you’re certain you wish to learn more about your kinky side, by all means – go for it. Just by allowing yourself to dive deeper into the side of your sexuality that is yet to be explored, you will already feel free and motivated to share it with the right people. However, there are definitely pros and cons of such a lifestyle. 

Pros:

  • You will discover new things about yourself by accepting this form of sexuality.
  • You will be able to connect with people who are interested in the same things in sex. And also potentially find someone who might teach you how to enjoy it even more.
  • As sex boosts our creativity and productivity, by finding your kinks. You might feel more efficient in other areas of your life. 

Cons:

  • It’s not a secret that this type of lifestyle is not warmly accepted in society. So you will need to be careful who you share it with. 
  • Depending on your and your sexual partner’s kinks, you might need to spend more money on tools, equipment. And clothes for sex than you used to before. 
  • With fetishes, you will need to determine your boundaries, and until you know what you like and dislike. You might have a few experiences that you’ll wish to forget because they were uncomfortable or painful. 

How To Join the Fetish Community

The easiest way to join the fetish community is by creating your kink profile on one of the above-mentioned apps and platforms. There, you will easily find people to talk to and maybe even meet in person. On these apps, users will often plan a dinner together or an activity where you will have a chance to meet them personally. So make sure you are involved as much as you can when making plans. 

When going to meet people you talked to online, always make sure you have all the information. For instance, they might have something that will separate them from the rest groups when in a restaurant. So it’s important to know it before you go. So you don’t miss out on a great kink event.

Another great way to inform yourself about the fetish lifestyle is by reading about it. There are many books written on this topic, and you can even find a bunch of articles online that might give you ideas on how to play with your kinkiness. You can find even movies and other types of art about fetishes. One thing is for sure, the more you research, the more things you will find. And it will become easier for you to come into this exciting community that might change how you perceive your sexual life completely. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Divorce Counseling: How To Prepare For It When It’s Time 

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Divorce Counseling: How To Prepare For It When It’s Time 

 

Divorce counseling aims to help you and your partner to resolve the burning issues in your marriage. Or to help you go through a divorce. Sometimes, married couples will go into divorce counseling after a divorce was finalized as it provides the closure many couples seek to move on with their lives.

Regardless of the reason why you are considering going into this type of therapy, you will get valuable tools that will help you manage conversations between you and your spouse in a more beneficial way. After all, whether you’re at the beginning or end of your marriage, you both should be able to communicate your needs, fears, and emotions that help you get closer to your goal. 

Do You Need a Divorce Counseling? 

Conflicts are normal and expected in any relationship or marriage, however, some couples will struggle to address their conflicts in a way that’s productive for them. For instance, if the discussions with your spouse escalate quickly and turn into arguments, talking to a divorce counselor will help you find more efficient ways to manage your marital issues. 

If you and your spouse are at that place where one of you is just waiting to file for divorce, counseling will provide you with a safe space to talk about your problems and get tools you can use outside of counseling as well. After all, the real work will be done after you walk out of your counselor’s office and return home.

Also, if one of you two has already filed for divorce, counseling will provide the support you need while going through this stressful process of deciding on custody, alimony, and child support. Some couples will be able to work through their issues without a divorce counselor, yet it’s much easier to have a space for discussions and get a help of a professional in sorting things out. 

How To Find the Right Divorce Counselor? 

Of course, to get the most of divorce counseling, you will need to find a therapist that will make you and your spouse feel comfortable. You will be opening up to their person about your intimate and marital issues so it’s important that you feel like you can trust your chosen therapist. This decision will differ from when you’re choosing your own therapist as you will need to consider your spouse’s opinion as well. 

Many couples have said they feel a lot more comfortable talking to a therapist who is more or less of their age. When choosing your divorce counselor, another thing you will like to think about is finding someone who shares your religious beliefs. Or has experience in counceling LGBTQ couples. 

To avoid bad quality and wasting your time, make sure you choose a licensed therapist who has credentials related to solving relationship or marital problems. If the cost of therapy is concerning you. Ask if they accept multiple insurance plans and if not, seek fees that will fit your budget. 

What Can I Expect From Divorce Counseling? 

As mentioned above, people seek divorce counselors for many reasons. Whether you’re trying to save your marriage or end it. Having a professional there might make this entire experience less painful and frustrating for both of you. When talking about areas in which divorce counseling helps, these are the areas you can expect to improve: 

  • Communication problems: You and your spouse will probably have different communication styles, so therapy will help you learn how to communicate without arguing.
  • Intimacy issues: Maintaining an intimate connection with your spouse can be lost due to stress, so it’s crucial to find a way to restore it. 
  • Mental illness: If you or your spouse has depression, anxiety or any other psychological disorder, you will be able to learn how to avoid its effect on your marriage.
  • Healing from trauma: If one of you or both went through a traumatic event, you will need the help to heal and reconnect with each other. 
  • Family disagreements: You will not always agree on everything that involves your children and this might affect your marriage if you don’t manage it the right way. 

How Can I Prepare For Divorce Counseling? 

You might feel awkward before and during your first counseling session, and that’s completely normal. With that being said, you will need to prepare before going into counseling as it will help your therapist determine the most efficient way to help you as a couple. It would be beneficial for your therapist if you’d write down all the issues you wish to work on in therapy. 

Thinking of how long each issue has been going on and what have you both done to resolve it will also help your therapist to get a better understanding of how you manage these discussions and what you both need in moments when a discussion occurs. The same goes if you’re filing for divorce. Just write down issues that motivated you to go into therapy and what you are hoping to get out of it. 

Depending on the level of motivation your spouse has when it comes to divorce counseling. You can ask them to also write down things they wish to address in therapy. If you both put as much effort as you can into it, you will more likely obtain your set goal for the therapy. 

Conclusion

Reaching out to a divorce therapist is never a mistake. Couples always get something out of it, as long as they are ready to put in some work as well. If your spouse is not as eager as you to try therapy, before forcing them into it, have a deep conversation with them where you explain to them that you want to solve issues that are bothering you both so you can be happy and satisfied with your lives and your relationship. 

If you’re considering therapy during or after a divorce, share the reasons for it with your ex-spouse and tell them the benefits you would both have from it. Understanding your reasons for it will help the other person to sympathize with you and discover that therapy is exactly what they need as well. They just weren’t aware of it before. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Talking To A Teen About Sex

A Parent’s Guide On Talking To A Teen About Sex

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A Parent’s Guide On Talking To A Teen About Sex

 

As a parent, your responsibility is to teach and prepare your child for adulthood, including talking to a teen about sex. After all, it’s completely normal for your teenager to have many questions and a lot of thoughts about sex, so it’s vital to approach this entire topic maturely and allow your child to ask you everything that’s on their mind.

Keep in mind that teens who have frequent and open conversations with their parents about sex will more likely step into sexual activities when they are older, while also protecting themselves from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) when they become sexually active. 

If you wish to be the biggest influence in your teenager’s decisions about sex, you can start planning these conversations in your mind. Please make sure that they feel comfortable enough to come to you with their questions as well. 

Prepare Yourself

In all honesty, accepting that your child is entering the adult world is not easy. As parents, we often continue seeing them as too vulnerable for the real world, and that’s why you will need to prepare yourself first if you wish to avoid confusing your teen even more. 

What are your personal values and beliefs about sex? What is that you want to share with your teen? Ask yourself about what you have learned from your first sexual experiences and which mistakes you would wish they avoid making. 

If this conversation is uncomfortable for you, make sure you are well prepared. Include in your conversation information about protections such as birth control and condoms, sexually transmitted diseases, and everything else that might be important for them. Think about this as the first step to building a mature relationship with your teen where you will start discussing topics you never have before. 

Start the Sex Talk First

It would be really good if you would be the one starting this conversation so you can dedicate your full attention to it. They might ask you some questions before you decide to sit with them and have the ‘big talk’, yet make sure you start it first as it will show you are open to discussing this topic and you’d love to hear your teen’s view on it. 

Make sure you have chosen a day where both you and your kid have enough time to dedicate to this conversation. When you’re ready, start the conversation casually and try to not make a big deal out of it. Remember, you should make this conversation as less uncomfortable for them as possible, and being stiff about it will not help at all. 

Guiding the Conversation

Your teen will probably have a few questions for you as well. Try to respond to them accurately and straightforward. For instance, if they ask for a proper age to start having sexual relations, try not to get too philosophical about it and provide them with facts and your personal opinion. Keep in mind that your child will form their own opinion about sex topics as they go through life, so it’s vital to give them all vital information before stepping into this world.

If you personally feel uncomfortable sharing some of your sexual experiences with your child, you can talk about it in the third person. If your teen asks a question you don’t know how to answer, be honest and invite them to look for that information together. 

Common Misconceptions Teens Have About Sex

When talking with your teenager, they will maybe share with you one or two of the common misconceptions teens have about sex. For instance, they might think that sex will make them appear adult. Be supportive and offer alternative ways that might show them as adults in their friends’ eyes. For instance, they can get a summer job or volunteer.

If they want to have sex just because all of their friends are already doing it, why not focus on things that make them unique and stand out from the crowd? Explain that not following blindly every step their friends make is a good thing and that they should start having sex when they feel the need, instead of when their friends are doing it. Also, make them aware that many lie about their sexual experiences and that on average, teens start having sex at 18.

If they are in a relationship and they want to feel closer to their partner, make sure you understand their motives behind it. Many teens will have sex just because of fear of losing that person. There are many ways to show you love someone, and sex is just one of them. If done because of the pressure, tell them that the sex experience will not be enjoyable at all and that it doesn’t imply that it will improve their relationship. 

Safe Sex

As a parent, it’s your job to inform your teen of sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy, and any other consequences having unprotected sex can have for them. You don’t have to be a sexual health expert to help your teen avoid these consequences, just talk to them about it and motivate them to learn about safe sex. Encourage reading Scarleteen online!

Make sure they know they have to use protection once they start having sexual relations. Talk to them about pregnancy and how it changes life for a young person, so they are aware of all the negative outcomes if they decide to practice unsafe sex even once. Also, make them aware they are not alone in this, their decisions on sex affect one more person and they should be responsible for them as well. 

Conclusion

Your child will find out about sex, one way or another. It’s best if you can be their source of information and help them shape their opinion on sex topics which will ensure they have a healthy sexual life later. Don’t assume they know something just because you do, they still need to be educated about sex from the start. Allow them to ask you whatever they need and always encourage them to start the sex talk whenever they feel the need. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

tantric sexology near me

Tantric Sexology Near Me: Learn All About It

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Tantric Sexology Near Me: Learn All About It

 

If you’re interested in connecting sexually with your partner, you might look online for terms such as ‘tantric sexology near me’ or ‘best tantric sex’ to understand better what it’s all about. With tantric sex, you are able to dive deeper into a sexual connection that provides you with access to more profound levels of feelings, sensations, and energy, and most importantly, a better understanding of who you are.

In tantra, we celebrate the sacredness of our bodies and sexual desires, while at the same time, we’re buying mindfully aware of the shared pleasure. Learning tantric sexology can help in releasing shame, trauma, and any obstacles you might have around sex by unleashing the very transformative power of erotic energy and the most incredible orgasms you’ve ever had. 

 

Tantric Sex

This sexual practice is one aspect of the ancient spiritual philosophy known as tantra. Its purpose is to reveal an ecstatic union with life that goes beyond our sense of self. Tantric sex is often looked at as one doorway to transcendent experience which once learned, can never be forgotten. Tantric intimacy is something that awakens the fire in your sexual energy, passion, creativity, and personal desires aligned with your heart and spirit. 

With tantric sex, your lovemaking will feel healing, empowering, transcendent, and beyond. You will also feel connected to your partner, and you will notice how your relationship is blossoming, along with your sexual life. During lovemaking, you both will feel as if the time is slowing down and your intuition is expanding as you’re both diving into almost psychedelic realms of the erotic world. 

 

During Tantric Sex

Once your start exploring tantric sex, you will notice it actually involves a variety of erotic activities. Some of them will not involve penetration or any physical stimulation that we typically connect with sex, yet it will provide you with such pleasure that you will want to repeat it as soon as possible. 

A typical tantra encounter will involve many subtle sexual realms, from gentle caresses to being focused on the way that energy flows between two bodies. At times, you will even barely move, as you will be focused on the meditative aspect of the tantra, and this stillness combined with your partner’s energy will lead you to precious romantic and erotic moments. Once you start practicing tantric sex, try to be as relaxed as you can be and truly take things slowly. Play with the rhythm of your sexual games, speed it up and then slow it down to really make the most of this erotic energy that’s exchanged between you two.  

 

Sexual Energy vs Tantric Energy

The difference between regular sex and tantric one is in its awareness. Tantric sex is so much than sex and it emphasizes so much more than bodies. You will be more aware of your and your partner’s breath, how you both move, how it feels when you touch each other. And how you’re both filling up the room with your combined erotic energy. Not to say that tantric sex cannot be raw and intense. Yet it’s always aiming to connect two souls through intercourse instead of just aiming for pleasure.

As we mentioned awareness quite a few times, it’s evident that breathwork is crucial for tantric sex. You will use your breath and awareness, and learn to move your sexual energy through your entire body. This will also help you feel the sexual pleasure throughout the body as you give into the cosmic play with your sexual partner. 

 

Neotantra Or Classical Tantra?

The earliest evidence of someone mentioning tantra dates back to the seventh century. In Hindu books, many texts were written about it. However, there is a bit of difference in how the eastern world and western world define it. Typically, when people from western countries use the word ‘tantra’, they are actually referring to ‘neotantra’.

When talking about classical tantra, there are numerous complex and quite rigorous spiritual paths that aim to achieve enlightenment. Often, these paths will involve serious study and dedication, many meditative practices, etc. Focusing on sexual energy is only a small part of it and usually is reserved for advanced practitioners only. 

On the other hand, neotantra has been developing over the past two centuries and its goal is to enhance intimacy and connection in people. A more profound connection to our bodies and emotions, while also opening ourselves to orgasmic ecstasy. What you will usually find in the media is a set of practices from modern tantric sex practitioners. These practices are not a part of ancient wisdom, however, their relevance and meaning are unquestionable. 

 

Tantric Sex Benefits

We already mentioned many benefits from having tantric sex with your partner. Yet there are so many of them that it doesn’t hurt to mention a few more. As you continue practicing tantric sex, you will notice how you’re receiving more of what you want in sex. While also releasing sexual blocks and shame you have from before. Indeed, tantric sex is therapeutic as it helps you even heal from sexual trauma and rediscover intimacy with your partner.

Also, you will notice how your sexual energy is slowly increasing as you’re allowing it to flow freely throughout your body. Overall, you can expect to experience an entirely new level of heart connection, a deeper sense of intimacy. And purer love for each other. There are plenty of ways you can start exploring tantric sex. You can start reading about it on your own, and once you feel confident, share it with your partner.

Or, you can start discovering the world of tantric sex together. Find what you wish to try out first, and start with smaller steps. Sit opposite to one another and focus on your breath. Look into each other eyes and pay attention to what happens in your body. This can be a great introduction for those who are choosing to have tantric sex for the first time as it’s gradually preparing you both for a very unique erotic experience. 

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Setting Goals For The New Year

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Setting Goals For The New Year

 

As we’re saying goodbye to the year that’s already behind us, it’s always a good time for setting goals for the new year as well. It’s another opportunity to start over, dedicate your attention to things you wish to achieve or change. Whether you want to get rid of a bad habit or introduce a healthy routine in your life, having an entire year in front of you is sometimes all the motivation you need. 

In this blog, we’ve gathered useful tips for setting goals for the new year and ways to achieve those goals. Prepare a pen and paper, or for those who prefer everything digitized, open a new google document and simply follow our suggestions! 

New Year Exercise

If you’re passionate about setting new goals, whether they’re personal or professional, you’ve probably done some exercise on your own, however, this one combines all of your goals for the upcoming year, while also looking back at the year that’s behind us. You can do this exercise alone, with your partner, your best friend, or anybody else you wish to share it with.

What did I Accomplish in 2021?

Start thinking about your proudest moments in the past year. Maybe you’ve learned a new language, made a new friend, started going to the gym regularly, began to eat more healthily, or something completely else. This exercise is about you, so whatever you think it’s relevant to celebrate from 2021, point it out. To create more order in the way you’ll approach thinking in retrospect, make sure you separate your personal goals from your professional goals. 

Examples: 

  • I reconnected with an old friend from high school and had a great time with them.
  • Stopped drinking unhealthy beverages and replaced them with freshly squeezed juices.
  • I successfully completed a long project and everyone congratulated me on it.
  • Advocated for my boundaries and that helped improve my life quality.
  • I discovered a cafe shop in my neighborhood and I often go there to read books or work on my computer.
  • This year, I expanded my knowledge in speaking Italian (or insert any subject you desire).

What did I WANT to Accomplish yet didn’t in 2021?

When asking yourself this question, it’s important to approach it with a clear mind. 

Forget “I should have done this…” type of language. 

Instead, recognize that you are envisioning it in the next year. The point is that you are recommitting to smaller steps to help achieve success. 

Try to eliminate blaming and shaming thoughts that might arise when answering this question. The point is that you are going to recommit to what is still important to you. After all, if you care about it one year later, you have plenty of motivation to break it into steps in the next year! 

Examples: 

  • I didn’t manage to go to bed before midnight and have more quality sleep.
  • Wanted to cook more at home yet I mostly ordered in or went to a restaurant.
  • I tried spending more time with friends, however, I had too many work obligations. 

  • I wanted to learn how to use a new tool that would make my work easier and didn’t do it in the end.
  • Tried arriving at work on time, yet somehow I was late more often than I am comfortable with.

COUPLES EDITION: 

What did We ACCOMPLISH in the Relationship in 2021?

This part can be done alone or with your partner. If you’re going through this exercise with your partner, make sure that both of you have the space to voice your answers without affecting each other’s responses or getting off track. 

When thinking about these accomplishments, you will need to think about those areas of your relationships you managed to improve in some way. Whatever you feel was an accomplishment in your relationship, celebrate it with your partner.

Couple Examples:

  • We managed to spend more time together and try out new activities.
  • Improved our intimacy by hugging more and having sex. 
  • We started going to couple therapy and successfully resolved many issues from before. 

What did We ACCOMPLISH in the Relationship in 2021?

Like your personal desired accomplishments, approach this question without any resentment or frustration. What were the important things for you both at the beginning of 2021, yet you couldn’t do them? If they still seem relevant to you, make sure you talk about them as it might give you a better idea of how to accomplish them. 

Couple Examples:

  • We tried to do more outdoor activities, yet we spent too much time watching TV.
  • Wanted to cook dinners together, and often ended up ordering take out because we were too tired. 
  • We wanted to have deeper and more intimate conversations, yet we spent more time talking about our complaints and household obligations.  

New Vision & Recommitment

Here, you will need to think about what you wish to celebrate by the end of 2022. Think about the things that matter to you personally and your relationship. What do you wish to start implementing in your everyday life? What are the things or habits you wish to say goodbye to? 

The great thing about doing this exercise with your partner or your friend is they will motivate you throughout the year as they will be aware of your new year goals. Also, you can invite them to hold you accountable. For instance, if you want to spend more time with your friends, your best friend or partner can encourage you to do so by reminding you of your goals. 

When talking about committing to something, think about how you will hold yourself accountable? Having the help of others is great, yet if not doing your best, it will be hard to achieve any goal you want to set for the new year. 

There are plenty of ways you can make sure your 2022 will align with your goals:

  • If you wish to be more active, pay an annual membership instead of monthly.
  • Also if you wish to spend more time with friends, book the times in your calendar and share them with your friends. 
  • If you want to be more proactive at work, talk with your colleagues and find a way that will help you to deliver more.

Whatever it is, think about the easiest way to achieve your goals. If you think about ways to do something, it will be easier to achieve it than just focusing on goals. Please think big; you can do anything you set your mind to. 

Happy new beginnings!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Psychological Dependence

Psychological Dependence: Definition & How To Deal With It

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Psychological Dependence: Definition & How To Deal With It

 

Each psychological and emotional process has a physiological basis. And every behavior that is not simply reflex action has a vital emotional and psychological component. Therefore, thinking of mind and body as two separated entities leads to unrealistic and incorrect ways of looking at any behavior type. It is mostly seen in cases of substance use disorders and process additions. 

For instance, claiming that “gambling addiction is not a choice’’ is equally wrong as claiming it is a choice. Human beings are too complex to say their behavior is “entirely physical” or “entirely psychological”. To truly understand how addictive behavior develops, both physical and psychological dependence will need to be considered. 

Psychological Dependence Definition

Psychological dependence is a term used to describe the emotional and mental processes associated with development. And recovery from a substance use disorder or process addiction. It must be viewed as a combination of emotions and cognitions, as they intertwine in their existence. 

When talking about psychological dependence, most cases refer to the cognitive and emotional aspects of addictive behaviors or withdrawing from drug or alcohol use. This is quite different from attempting to classify certain substances or activities as addictive either in a physiological or physical way. 

Psychological Dependence Symptoms

There are several symptoms associated with the psychological components of any type of addictive behavior (psychological dependence). Not every person will have all of these symptoms and some of them will be expressing them mildly, while others more than that. People with psychological dependence will often have cravings, mostly food-related ones. Also, they might have anxiety issues that occur each time someone tries to stop their addictive behavior. Instead of anxiety, a person can have depression issues when not being able to proceed with their addictive behavior due to someone or something. 

They might also struggle with sleeping well as their sleep often is disrupted when trying to stop consuming the substance or it’s not available to a person. When not consuming or trying to quit their addiction, whichever it might be, they will probably feel irritability and restlessness. A wide variety of moods might happen each time a person is not able to use their substance of choice or is trying to quit. These mood swings are usually quite obvious externally, too. 

Besides how they feel, their behavior will change significantly as well. For instance, they will have issues with concentration, memory, problem-solving, and judgment in general. When talking about physical dependence, symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, seizures, diarrhea, hallucinations are quite common. 

Substances In Psychological Dependence

It’s considered that all substances of abuse are associated with both psychological and physical aspects of dependence. Yet, numerous sources are separating the aspects related to the development of a substance use disorder and withdrawing from it into substances associated with withdrawal symptoms which are psychological. Usually, they include: 

  • Most stimulants, which include cocaine and Ritalin
  • Most hallucinogenic drugs (e.g. LSD)
  • Cannabis products
  • Numerous inhalant products
  • Numerous psychotropic medications (e.g. antidepressant medications)

When talking about substances relate to the development of strong physical dependence usually include:

  • Alcohol
  • Opiate drugs – heroin, morphine, Vicodin, etc.
  • Benzodiazepines – Xanax, Valium, Ativan, etc.
  • Barbiturates – Seconal and phenobarbital.

Psychological Dependence Treatment 

The use of drugs that are considered to lead to physical dependence, such as alcohol, barbiturates. And benzodiazepines, can lead to the development of potentially fatal seizures. Yet, this generally doesn’t occur with withdrawal from opiate drugs, which are considered to be very physically addicting. 

Individuals with a substance use disorder will need to be strictly monitored by a physician or psychiatrist specialized in addiction medicine during their recovery. Such level of care and caution is required to be able to identify and potential seizure activity and if it occurs, act on time and help the individual. When treating any substance use disorder, the initial program of physician-assisted withdrawal management is essential for recovery. 

This type of approach is recommended because initial recovery from any substance of abuse can be intertwined with emotional and physical distress that might lead to dangerous scenarios for the person. Examples of such dangerous scenarios are overdosing during a relapsed, being involved in accidents, or trying to commit suicide. 

When compared to those with physical addition or physical dependence, individuals with psychological dependence will not have much difference in the overall plan of recovery. It will be required that they are thoroughly assessed, guided by a physician. And treat for any issues that might appear as a consequence of their substance use. Also, they are often involved in substance use disorder therapy, which is crucial for their recovery. 

Most of the time, they will also get involved in social support groups or seek support from their family and friends. Understanding how challenging and frustrating at the time the recovery process can be. A strong support system is essential to recover.

Conclusion

Without a doubt, psychological dependence is associated with various emotional and cognitive symptoms. By separating physical dependence from psychological dependence, enormous damage is done in understanding this condition and, more importantly, in treating it. Treatment of any substance use disorder must be seen as with both emotional and cognitive symptoms.  

While psychological dependence is definitely associated with both emotional and cognitive symptoms. Physical dependence is usually associated with tolerance development and withdrawal symptoms that are not emotional nor cognitive. 

To understand addictive behavior means to accept the interplay of both emotional and cognitive mechanisms. Any treatment that aims to help a person recover from substance use disorder should be holistic in nature and consider all possible treatment options that lead to recovery. And, although the recovery plan might be long, frustrating. And scary, many individuals have successfully recovered from psychological dependence and are now enjoying their lives with their loved ones.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Teen Counseling

Teen Counseling: What Every Parent Should Know

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Teen Counseling: What Every Parent Should Know

 

If you’re a parent of a teenager or have one in your family, you know that it can be quite challenging. And seeking teen counseling arises as a natural suggestion to help the person struggling. 

Besides undergoing numerous changes physically, emotionally, and psychologically, this young person will also go through identity formation. All of these areas might be really difficult for an individual and they might lead to different forms of pressure, while experiencing social pressure, bullying, or even questioning their gender or sexual identity as they start their first valuable relationships with other people.

Another factor that needs to be taken into consideration in today’s culture is social comparison and lower self-esteem due to the prevalence of social media. There’s no question about it, being a teenager in our modern world is quite stressful and understanding all the benefits from teen counseling as they are navigating these challenges. 

Why Do Teens Need Counseling?

It’s quite crucial to memorize that teens, although they are becoming adults, are still children. The brain is in the process of fully forming, yet they are still not able to make mature decisions or handle mature situations the same way adults can. Also, understanding their bodies are changing and all the side effects of budding hormones. All of this can tip teenagers over the edge, even if an adult doesn’t realize how stressful it might be for the teenager. 

What’s making things even worse, today’s teenagers are not spending the same amount of time with their families as 10 or 20 years ago as today’s parents work long hours. However, family time is crucial in keeping stress levels low, so the lack of family time will be just another factor why it’s so beneficial for a teenager to seek counseling. 

Once a teenager reaches the point where they are not able to effectively handle school, social situations, or family stress, counseling can help them tremendously in learning how to cope with it all. Parents will typically consider this option once they notice that their teenager is struggling with one of the mentioned areas. Yet the smarter decision would be to send your teenager to talk to a professional before they reach that level of stress. 

Deciding that a teenager should go to therapy will benefit them in numerous ways. Especially as they will be able to talk about their current struggles and even past events that are troubling them. 

What Can Parents Expect From Teen Counseling?

As a parent, you should know what you and your teenager can expect from teen counseling. Once your teenager begins counseling, it might surprise you that parents are typically not invited to attend. All you can do is drive your teen to the doors and wait for his counseling to finish. Another thing to keep in mind is that the counselor cannot share information on these sessions due to therapist-client confidentiality. What a counselor can do is to provide you with more general information regarding progress and diagnosis. If you don’t feel supportive about this, be aware that your teenager needs a safe place to express their thoughts and emotions without fearing consequences. And if you know even one thing about teens, that would be that they value their privacy and want to have more autonomy from their parents.  

Types of Teen Therapy

The type of counseling will usually depend on the precipitating problem. For instance, you teenager will maybe start teen counseling because they are struggling with studying and their grades. So the counselor will start from there and gradually, dive deeper. The reason for that is that establishing trust and getting to know each other is crucial for success in therapy. 

The initial intake session, however, might include parents as well, yet from the next session. The therapist will spend only on getting to know the teenager and helping them learn useful tools to make their lives easier. As a parent, you will need to accept you’re not in control over the process and have faith in it. Just because it seems to you that the therapist is taking the wrong approach doesn’t mean you’re right. After all, you are not sitting in those sessions and you’re not the patient. 

What A Therapist Needs To Report?

As mentioned above, all the information your teenager decided to share with the counselor is considered confidential. Except anything the counsel will be legally mandated to report. The examples would be the intent to harm themselves or someone else, sexual or physical abuse, and suicidal thoughts. So, if your teenager is experiencing serious issues, you can be sure they will receive the help they need and you as a parent will be informed about it. 

When it comes to everything else, teenagers will be able to discuss any concerns they have without the fear that they will be shared with their parents or someone else. 

Preparing Teens For Counseling

Don’t feel discouraged if the first time you talk to your teenager about the therapy they feel resistant. It’s quite normal, so try to understand their point of view as well. To help you get your teenager to become more open about teen counseling, consider these helpful tools: 

They Should Lead

If you think your teenager would benefit from therapy, try starting a conversation on their thoughts about therapy. Inform them about the process and tell them you think it would be great for them to talk to someone who is not their parents. And will provide them with useful tips on how to deal with some situations in their lives.

Offering Incentives

There are plenty of ways to motivate your teenager to go to a counselor if the conversation didn’t produce results. And one of them is offering a reward. For instance, you can tell them that if they attend just one session. You will buy the concert tickets to see their favorite band or their favorite sports team. 

Including Them in the Process

If you’re thinking about teen counseling, you should also consider including your teenager in the process of choosing a therapist. And allow them to decide when they would like to schedule their appointments. They will more likely think that therapy is a good idea if they are a part of the decision-making process. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.