Why Does It Curve To The Left?

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Why Does It Curve To The Left?

 

This week, we’re taking a closer look at the male body and male anatomy. Addressing some common questions that many men may hesitate to ask. One such question is: Why does it curve to the left?

Much of men’s health involves understanding what is considered normal. And this extends to the shape and structure of the penis. It’s not uncommon for men to notice a slight curve, either to the left, right, or even upwards or downwards. In fact, slight curvature is often completely normal and can be a natural variation in anatomy. The cause may lie in the way tissue develops or how scar tissue forms over time.

Understanding your body is key to overall health and wellbeing, and no question should be off-limits when it comes to seeking answers.

@lifecoachingandtherapy

Why Does It Curve To The Left? We are looking at the male body and male anatomy this week. Much of mens health can involve questions about what is normal. #malebody #maleanatomy #menshealth

♬ original sound – Life Coaching and Therapy

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Help with Menopause Crazy Behavior

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Help with Menopause Crazy Behavior

 

If you’re a woman, you’ve probably heard someone talking about menopause crazy behavior, and if you’re in your 30s or 40s, you might feel confused about its meaning. We wanted to do some more research on how menopause affects women before deciding what is crazy and what isn’t. 

There is little discussion of menopause, which is unavoidable for aging cis women. Even if you ask young women, most of them will not know what to expect when that time comes. Read on if you are a woman curious about menopause or has just entered it and wants to know if your symptoms are common.

What Is Menopause? 

A woman enters menopause twelve months following her last menstrual cycle. The menopausal transition, also known as perimenopause, is the period before that happens when women may have hot flashes, irregular monthly cycles, or other symptoms.

The onset of menopause typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55. This period of time can range from 7-14 years. The length of time may vary depending on lifestyle choices, including smoking, age at onset, and race/ethnicity. The ovaries produce the hormones progesterone and estrogen, which the body produces in varying amounts during perimenopause.

Every woman experiences the menopausal transition differently and in different ways. Women may acquire weight more quickly, and their bodies use energy differently and in various ways in fat cells. Your physical function, body composition, and structure, as well as your heart or bones, may all alter.

Stages of Menopause

Menopause is the natural end to menstruation. There are three stages of menopause that you’ll need to be aware of to be able to tell them apart.

Perimenopause

Your ovaries progressively start to generate less estrogen eight to ten years before menopause, which is when perimenopause starts. It generally begins in your 40s. The final year or two of perimenopause is when estrogen begins to decline. Many women may be experiencing menopausal symptoms at this point. However, you can still become pregnant during this period and still have menstrual cycles.

Menopause

When you reach menopause, your menstrual cycles stop. Your ovaries have finished generating the majority of their estrogen and are no longer releasing eggs at this point. When you have missed your monthly cycle for 12 months in a row, a medical professional will diagnose you with menopause.

Postmenopause

This is the term used to describe the period following a year without a period. Menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes, may improve during this phase. Nonetheless, a decade or more after the menopause transition, some women still have menopausal symptoms. People in the postmenopausal period are more susceptible to several health issues, including osteoporosis and heart disease, due to a decreased level of estrogen in their bodies.

Menopause Symptoms

If you start to have some or all of the following symptoms, you could be entering menopause:

  • Hot flashes (a sudden sense of warmth that spreads across your body)
  • Chills and/or flashes of cold
  • Dryness of the vaginal walls 
  • Pain during intercourse
  • Urinary urgency
  • Sleep problems
  • Emotional changes 
  • Chapped lips, eyes, or skin
  • Soreness in the breasts
  • Abnormally heavy, light, or irregular periods

Some women might also experience:

  • Heart palpitations
  • Headaches
  • Pain in the muscles and joints
  • Sex desire changes
  • Concentration issues
  • Memory loss
  • Weight gain
  • Thinning or loss of hair

Changes in your hormone levels bring on these symptoms. While some people experience minor menopausal symptoms, others may experience severe symptoms. Not every person going through menopause will experience the same symptoms. 

Contact a healthcare provider that specializes in menopause. There are different boards depending on what country you live in. If you are in the United States, check them out. 

Why Do I Feel Like This? 

In menopause and perimenopause, varying emotions are common. Changing progesterone and estrogen levels cause many changes in your life like mood swings, insomnia, and hot flashes.

Your ability to sleep may suffer, libido problems may negatively impact your sexual life, and vaginal dryness may make things seem unpleasant. You could think you’re insane because of all these changes, yet we’re here to reassure you that you’re not. Hormonal changes happen! You don’t have to suffer and you can reach out to a longevity specialist. 

Hormone fluctuations occur throughout perimenopause and diminish during menopause, which can lead to abrupt and inexplicable mood swings or seemingly insane behavior. You could think you’re going crazy if you experience increased levels of impatience, anxiety, or melancholy, yet there’s no reason to freak out.

Menopause is a natural aspect of aging for all women, and it brings with it a host of mental and emotional changes that can cause disruptions to day-to-day activities. You should be aware that you are not experiencing menopausal symptoms alone, since around 75% of women encounter emotional issues during this time.

The Bottom Line

Your progesterone and estrogen levels vary during perimenopause and drop sharply during menopause. Due to low hormone levels affecting mood-regulating neurotransmitters, mood swings are common.

Hot flashes, which exacerbate tiredness and irritation and make it hard to fall asleep, are another effect of a fall in estrogen. Without enough sleep, as we all know, everything feels worse, and our emotional stamina is at its lowest.

While most women do not experience severe depression or anxiety after menopause, it is normal for them to have modest mood changes, irritability, and a lack of energy. Additionally, women who have had anxiety or depression in the past are more likely to encounter severe emotional symptoms throughout menopause.

If you’re struggling with your menopause symptoms or have any questions related to them, reach out to your doctor. If you’re noticing mood swings and are not able to function due to emotional bursts, you should consider reaching out to a therapist, as there might be other issues you need to address and work on. 

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Tips to Improve Confidence

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Tips to Improve Confidence

 

Anyone looking for tips to improve confidence may be aware that they need to change something up. Not only that, but our confidence reflects how we truly feel about ourselves.

Confidence can empower us to face life’s obstacles with determination. It is a universal experience to feel unsure in certain situations, but many of us have also experienced the feeling of confidently performing a task. So, how challenging is it to boost your confidence and take on tasks you once considered beyond your capabilities? Let’s find out together!

 

What Is Confidence?

Being confident means having faith in yourself, knowing that you can get through tough situations and reach your goals, and being ready to do what you need to do. To have confidence, you need to be realistic about yourself and feel safe in your skills.

Confidence helps people handle pressure, build trust, make a good first impression, and solve personal and professional issues. Also, people like people who are confident because it makes them feel at ease. Not everyone is naturally confident. With practice and patience, one can acquire and hone this skill.

 

Ways to Improve Your Self-Confidence

So many successful people attribute their success to their self-assurance and confidence. However, only a few of them go into detail about how to develop or acquire confidence. Confidence can be challenging because it is based on various factors. In general, it is based on decisions and outcomes that fulfill your passion and give you a sense of fulfillment and self-worth.

 

Start Accomplishing Small Things

Accomplishment leads to confidence. Simple as that! You will feel much better about yourself if you accomplish something today. This can be cooking lunch, organizing your closet, completing a business project, or doing anything else that would make you feel good about yourself. You can even plan daily, weekly, monthly, and annual goals if that’s something you’re passionate about.

Try to make these goals something that could boost your confidence beyond just accomplishing the task. For instance, you can decide to attend more events where you can meet people with similar interests and feel confident about yourself once you make a new friend.

 

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Do you evaluate your worth against others you follow on Instagram? Or, do you compare your career and lifestyle to those of your friends? Comparing is a fundamental human behavior; however, you shouldn’t expect it to increase your confidence. In fact, comparing leads to quite the opposite.

How do you gain confidence when you realize you are comparing? First, tell yourself that it isn’t beneficial to do so. Feeling jealous of someone else’s life? Focus on your own strengths and achievements. To remember your blessings, keep a gratitude journal, as this keeps you focused on yourself, not others.

 

Get Inspired By Others

Consider for a moment how people in your life make you feel. Do they make you feel better or worse? Do they accept you as you are, or are they always passing judgment on you?

The people you spend time with can affect how you think about and feel about yourself. That is why knowing how other people make you feel is important. If you feel as if your confidence drops after spending time with a certain person, it is time to evaluate their meaning in your life. Rather, surround yourself with people who genuinely care for and love you. You should always look for people who can boost your confidence and are positive about life.

 

Exercise

Exercise has several health benefits, including enhancing attention, preventing depression, lowering stress levels, and enhancing memory recall. With frequent exercise, you will start feeling good about yourself. Your body will be stronger and in better shape, and you will also have more confidence once you start following your workout routine.

That said, you don’t have to work out every day. Depending on your schedule, choose a time that works well for you and dedicate 30 to 45 minutes to yourself. If you’re not a fan of working out at home or the gym, consider jogging in the park, taking a yoga or pilates class, or joining a group sport such as volleyball or basketball.

 

Be Kind to Yourself

You will build confidence once you learn to be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes or fails to meet certain expectations. Making it difficult for yourself will not make you feel better or build your confidence.

By being kind to yourself, you can better handle difficult emotions and adapt to them, strengthening your relationships with others and yourself. When experiencing a difficult situation, there is so much you can do. Keep in mind that we all do the best we can and allow yourself time to recover and heal.

 

Face Your Fears

If you have big aspirations and high standards for yourself, you will undoubtedly feel overwhelmed and incapable of achieving them. Your fear might be present because something feels too big or because you simply feel unprepared. However, when you break each project into tiny pieces, it becomes less scary.

Any fear prevents you from being your best. Start by diving into that fear. Discovering its purpose may reveal that it is protecting you. For example, if your previous relationship left you heartbroken, you may be afraid of falling in love again. Acquiring knowledge will enable you to assess your personal growth from the previous encounter and boost your self-assurance when interacting with strangers.

 

Final Thoughts

Everybody occasionally struggles with confidence. Fortunately, you can boost your confidence in a number of ways with our tips to improve confidence. Taking action is a common way to actually feel more confident.

Low self-esteem can occasionally be an indicator of mental health issues like anxiety or depression. Seek advice from a mental health expert if your lack of confidence affects your ability to function in your job, social life, or education. A therapist may provide further insight into the problem, suggest a course of action, and collaborate with you to create skills that can boost your self-esteem.

If you want more tips to improve confidence, start your journey at home and take small steps every day to build a more confident you!

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

body image and social media

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Exploring the Lower Self Esteem Meaning

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Exploring the Lower Self Esteem Meaning

 

Ever wondered what’s up with lower self-esteem and why it’s such a big deal? Let’s dive deep into that topic and break down the meaning of lower self-esteem and how it can seriously affect your life.

To begin with, lower self-esteem means having a negative view of oneself. People with lower self-esteem often doubt their worth and abilities. They might feel inadequate, unworthy, or incapable of achieving their goals. This negative self-view can stem from various sources, including past experiences, upbringing, and societal pressures.

One significant effect of lower self-esteem is on mental health. Consequently, individuals with lower self-esteem are more prone to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. They may constantly worry about how others perceive them and fear rejection or failure. This can lead to a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, making it difficult to break free from self-doubt.

Moreover, lower self-esteem also impacts relationships. People who don’t believe in their worth might struggle with forming healthy, positive relationships. They may have trouble asserting themselves, leading to unbalanced dynamics where their needs are often overlooked. This can result in feeling unappreciated or taken advantage of, further reinforcing their low self-esteem.

In addition, in professional settings, lower self-esteem can hinder career growth. Doubting one’s abilities can prevent individuals from seeking new opportunities or taking on challenges. They may avoid promotions or new projects, fearing failure or criticism. This self-limiting behavior can stifle personal and professional development.

However, overcoming lower self-esteem involves self-awareness and effort. Recognizing negative thought patterns is the first step. Practicing self-compassion and challenging these negative beliefs is crucial. Furthermore, surrounding oneself with supportive people and seeking professional help, like therapy, can provide valuable tools and strategies for building self-esteem.

By understanding the meaning and implications of lower self-esteem, individuals can take proactive steps to improve their self-view and overall well-being. Addressing and overcoming lower self-esteem can lead to a more fulfilling and confident life.

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

body image and social media

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

body image and social media

Body Image and Social Media

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Body Image and Social Media

 

If you’re wondering how body image and social media are connected, this article will offer all the answers you need. The positive and negative effects of social media on body image can be profound. Social media can offer a forum for body positivity, group support, and motivation for fitness and wellness. However, it can also contribute to unhealthy comparisons and inflated beauty ideals.

Selecting the profiles and platforms that best support your well-being is easier if you know how specific information influences your relationship with your body. Let’s dive deeper into social media to understand how it impacts our body image!

 

What Is Body Image?

Body image is your perception of how your physical appearance compares to societal norms. Unrealistic expectations of how your body should look, brought on by a negative body image, may result in unhealthy behaviors like disordered eating. 

Your ideas and feelings about your body are combined to form your body image. Positive and negative experiences with one’s body image are possible, and a person may experience positive, negative, or mixed feelings depending on the moment. Both internal (such as personality) and external (such as social environment) elements impact body image.

 

Body Image Aspects

Explain that body image consists of several aspects:

  • Your perceptual body image is how you perceive your physical self. This may only sometimes be an accurate reflection of how you seem.
  • Your emotional body image is the way you feel about your physical appearance. Feelings can range from joy to disgust, yet they are frequently summed up as how satisfied or unsatisfied you are with your appearance, weight, and certain body parts.
  • Your cognitive body image is how you perceive your physical appearance. This may result in an obsession with weight and body image.
  • Your behavioral body image refers to your actions resulting from your body image. When people are unhappy with their looks, they may isolate themselves or engage in unhealthy behaviors to improve them.

There are many negative ways social media can impact how we think about ourselves, such as comparison, unrealistic beauty standards, worsening body image disorders, etc.

 

Positive Body Image

A person is said to have a good body image when they can accept, value, and respect their physique. This is different from body satisfaction since you might be unhappy with some features of your body while still being able to accept it for all of its flaws. A person is less likely to develop an eating disorder if they have a positive body image, which is one of the protective factors.

A healthy body image is linked to the following:

  • Higher levels of self-esteem. It determines how one thinks about oneself, can impact many facets of life, and enhances happiness and well-being.
  • Self-acceptance. It increases the likelihood of feeling at ease and content with their appearance. At the same time, it lessens their vulnerability to influence from exaggerated media portrayals and social pressure to conform.
  • A positive outlook and healthy behaviors. It is simpler to live a balanced lifestyle with better eating and exercise habits when you are aware of and responsive to your body’s demands.

However, when you have unfavorable thoughts and feelings about your body, it can lead to body dissatisfaction. Despite being an internal emotional and cognitive process, body dissatisfaction is influenced by outside forces like pressure to conform to certain appearance ideals. People unhappy with their bodies may resort to improper weight-control methods, including disordered eating. They are more likely to develop an eating disorder as a result. Such behaviors can be directly connected with social media, where people start comparing themselves to others and feel inferior. 

 

The Positive Side of Social Media 

It might be challenging to avoid images and statements that make you feel unfavorable about your body because social media is populated with people who only exhibit themselves in their best light. However, there are some ways you can organize your feed to make it a better environment for you.

 

Promotes Body Positivity

There are ways that social media can impact body image, and you can get advice on using it effectively. Social media can be a forum for promoting body positivity when utilized healthily. By sharing pictures of their bodies as they are, users may encourage self-love and acceptance.

 

Healthy Lifestyle

Body-positive media frequently features unaltered, non-sexualized photographs of people with various body types. These pictures show different body types, racial groups, athletic prowess, and gender identities. Also, social media can inspire you to live an active and healthy lifestyle. To motivate people to take care of their bodies, many accounts promote healthy living, exercise, and wholesome eating options.

 

Supportive Communities

Supportive communities can be found on social media for those battling body image problems. People on the path to body positivity can benefit from the empathy, understanding, and encouragement that support groups and online communities can offer.

These are also some of the tips you might consider if you wish to eliminate any negative effect social media can have on you:

  • Take a break from scrolling.
  • Start a new hobby or join a networking group to have less need for social media.  
  •  Unfollow accounts that don’t make you feel good.
  • Follow body-positive and inspiring accounts.
  • Limit the time you spend on social media.

 

Coping with Body Dissatisfaction

Here are some suggestions to help you deal with your feelings of body dissatisfaction:

  • Think about your advantages. Consider your strengths and the things you appreciate about yourself rather than your alleged weaknesses. This can aid in refocusing your attention and raising your general sense of self-worth.
  • Self-care is advisable. Self-care can lift your spirits and make you feel better about your appearance. This can involve maintaining a regular exercise routine, obtaining enough rest, and adhering to a nutritious diet.
  • Confront your negative thinking. Try to recognize and question any unfavorable ideas you may have about your body. Look for facts to support these ideas or determine if they are plausible. Attempting to change negative ideas into more optimistic ones is another option.
  • Try to surround yourself with positive people. Be in the company of inspiring and supportive individuals. Stay away from people and social media pages that promote negative body image.

 

In Final Words 

You might believe that scrolling through social media is just a way to relax, yet the study shows that the photos you view and the people you engage with can affect how you view yourself. That said, not all social media use is detrimental. 

It indicates you might want to reconsider your approach to using social media. You can change your social media experience for the better by unfollowing particular profiles, joining a support group, or taking a break from the daily scroll. 

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

body image and social media

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Body Dysmorphia Treatment: What Is It & Who Needs It

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Body Dysmorphia Treatment: What Is It & Who Needs It

 

Body dysmorphia is a condition that can heavily affect your mind and your perspective, and the best way to get help is with a body dysmorphia treatment. If you have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), you could be upset about how your body looks and how it interferes with your life. Not being able to go about your daily activities is awful. Many of us believe that we have aesthetic defects. If you suffer from body dysmorphia, how you feel and see this “flaw” could get out of control.

You might find it challenging to stop having negative thoughts about your appearance. Honestly, even a few hours a day can be spent worrying about how you look. Some people occasionally consider suicide if negative and persistent thoughts are severe enough. Without a doubt, it is a more severe issue than being self-conscious about the things you don’t like about your body. 

 

What Is Body Dysmorphia? 

A person who suffers from body dysmorphia spends a lot of time fretting about their flaws. It can affect people of any age and is stated to be most prevalent in adolescents and young adults. Both men and women can get body dysmorphia. Keep in mind that it’s not a sign of vanity or self-obsession. For people with BDD, it can be unpleasant and significantly affect their lives.

Body dysmorphic disorder is often diagnosed based on the following:

  • An analysis of poor self-image risk factors, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors through psychology,
  • Individual, societal, family, and medical background,
  • Symptoms and signs.

It is believed that a combination of environmental, psychological, and biological variables are the root causes of body dysmorphic disorder. The emotions of inadequacy, embarrassment, and fear of mockery may be induced or cultivated due to bullying or teasing.

 

Common Symptoms of Body Dysmorphia

There are certain symptoms that people who are struggling with body dysmorphia will experience in their daily lives. Keep in mind that having one of these symptoms is not a sign of body dysmorphia, and it’s best to consult an expert to get adequate treatment.

These are the most common body dysmorphia symptoms: 

  • Worry too much about a certain area of your body (e.g., your face),
  • Spend hours comparing your looks with other people’s, especially people you see on social media, 
  • Spend too much time looking at yourself in mirrors or completely avoid them,
  • Doing your best to conceal flaws (e.g., spending a lot of time choosing clothes that cover the areas you don’t like, applying strong make-up to cover your skin tone or skin condition, etc.). 
  • Think about unnecessary plastic surgery and see it as something that will grant you happiness. 

 

Body Dysmorphia Treatment

Based on your symptoms and how much they interfere with your life, a mental health specialist will determine whether you have body dysmorphia or not.

To be identified as someone with body dysmorphia, you will need to experience the following:

  • An unusual preoccupation with a minor or nonexistent physical imperfection,
  • Self-consciousness about your physical flaw needs to be so severe that it prevents you from having a normal life,
  • Discard other mental health conditions as the source of the symptoms you’re experiencing.

Those who are experiencing BDD could also suffer from other health conditions. The most common ones are eating disorders, depression, social anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. With treatment, you will notice your BDD symptoms may improve.

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

You may be recommended for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This is a type of talking therapy where you talk about your body dysmorphia and get the tools to start seeing your appearance in a more positive light. Together, you and your therapist will decide on the therapy’s objectives and collaborate to try and achieve them.

If you’re experiencing depression or anxiety as well as trauma in addition to your body dysmorphia treatment, practicing DBT skills may be beneficial. 

 

How to Help Yourself

Body dysmorphic people may benefit from support groups. Discuss local groups with your doctor. If there are not any, you can find many online. Meaning, attending their meetings to feel supported and have your own community that understands you. 

To enhance their mental health, some people may find it beneficial to gather with friends or family or to try something new. Exercises for relaxation and breathing can also help you reduce tension and anxiety.

You can also consider reading books about body image issues. Understanding the issue you are dealing with can also help you understand what is making you feel negative about your physique. Whichever of these options you choose, make sure you don’t do it on your own. Talk to a friend or a family member who could be there for you. Sometimes, even one conversation with the person who cares can help you feel better. 

 

In Final Words

People can recover from body dysmorphia, yet it takes time. Despite the difficulties associated with BDD, treatment may be able to enhance a person’s overall quality of life.

This does not imply that symptoms will always be completely gone. Particularly during times of stress or trauma, symptoms can recur. Because thoughts are the primary symptom, there may be numerous triggers that cause symptoms to persist over the course of a person’s life.

Although it might be difficult to treat, help is available for individuals who require it. People dealing with BDD can undoubtedly recover and have fulfilling lives with the right care.

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

Positive Body Image: Learn to Love Your Look

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

build confidence and self esteem

Build Confidence and Self Esteem! What WOMEN Find Attractive in a MAN!

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Build Confidence and Self Esteem! What WOMEN Find Attractive in a MAN!

 

Build Confidence and Self Esteem in Bed [What Women Find Attractive in a Man] Right here!

This video will show you how to build confidence and self esteem in bed. These tips via the bedroom help you understand what women find attractive in a man.

If what you are doing isn’t cutting it, this video will show you what you need to know to build confidence and esteem in bed for your women.

Next time you’re sending vibes for the bedroom, be prepared that she will find you irresistible.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

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Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

body shame

Body Shame: Body Image Can Affect a Person’s Health

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Body Shame: Body Image Can Affect a Person’s Health

 

Loving your body is easier said than done, body shame and body image can affect a person’s health. When there is body shame around us, our body image is more and more affected. Body shame can come from traditional media, social media, society, and often – those around us. We are constantly being told how we should look and what to strive for.

If you step outside, how many different body types can you count in 30 minutes? Probably dozens, yet we are being told one body image is the one to strive to and then, body image concerns can start to affect a person’s health. 

People have used their appearance to get someone’s approval since the dawn of time. Was it to find the spouse who will fall in love with us or to be chosen for a physical job because of our strong body? Humans have been judged based on appearance for years. Fast-forwarding to today and we’ll notice that these reasons are still stuck with most of us. Even if you try to forget about your body image, society will remind you of it. 

Why are we body shaming? How can someone who hates their body image get over it? Is it possible? 

To find the answers to these questions, we’ve decided to dig deeper and seek the real reasons why there is so much body shaming around us that does affect a person’s health. 

 

The Beginning of Body Shame

The first examples of body shaming can be seen already in the first years of education. Children need approval from their parents and other authorities they admire to feel good about themselves. More importantly, they learn by observing society. This means that even if a child was raised in a household where nobody made them feel unworthy, whether because of their appearance or something else, they might learn it from a relative or the way their parent treats itself.

Children that were teased and bullied due to the way they look will feel their sense of safety is affected. They might wrongly assume that changing something about them to get approval from others will make them feel more loved and safe. Feeling you are not worthy of love is a feeling that will hardly go away on its own, and it often involves years of therapy until the person accepts themselves completely, including the way they look.

 

Change Comes from Within

Having body-shaming experiences in early childhood can have serious consequences for a child that later might affect how they feel about themselves. Being conscious about your body often leads to low self-esteem, which prevents individuals from having quality relationships with other people in their lives. Thinking that shame around their body is not allowing them to connect with others, a victim of body shaming will think their body needs to change to have that connection. 

The shame around your body will indeed go away once something changes, yet it’s not external changes we are talking about. Learning to love yourself and your body is incredibly important for one’s well being. Then, you will be able to make decisions beneficial for yourself instead of changing your appearance in seek of approval. 

 

How To Get Over Body-Shaming

If you ever had shameful feelings about your body, you know how deeply it can affect how you feel about everything in your life. Luckily, there are many steps you can take to start the healing and acceptance process. 

Filter Social Media Content

There is so much content on social media platforms, and not all of it is good for you. Surround yourself with positive messages, body acceptance, and self-love on each of the social media platforms you use. Find influential body-positive people who also share their struggles openly with their audience. This will make you feel like you’re not alone and you will also be able to connect with other people who are on their journey of learning to love themselves. 

 

Believing in Loving Your Body

It might be too optimistic for those starting to overcome body shaming to expect to unconditionally accept your body right away. Getting over feelings of shame is a process that takes time, and you will need to be patient and dedicated to your goal. Instead of expecting too much, start with smaller actions. You might notice you feel better if you walk an hour in the evening, start meditating, dance in your underwear, or do something else. These activities will make you feel better and remind you why it’s so important to accept yourself and just be happy. 

 

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

Have you always been adding an extra layer of clothes that nobody notices your body? Have you maybe been afraid to speak in front of a group of people because you didn’t want their attention? All these things affect how you feel about yourself. Changing them is not easy, yet you can start small. Try to speak more when you’re with your friends even if you don’t feel like it at first. When dressing for any occasion, try not to completely cover your body with layers of clothes or consider adding a few accessories that will give you a boost of confidence. 

 

Getting To Know Your Inner-Bully

To heal from body shaming, you will need to focus on your inner-bully and hear them out. Instead of ignoring that little voice telling you you’re not pretty/skinny/tall/sexy enough, try to give it space and time. For instance, when you’re dressing for work next time that thought appears, give it a moment. Let it express itself. Then, you will slowly become aware that this voice is just one tiny part of you, not your entire self. These thoughts are just one part of you and they are not more powerful than you trying to heal and become a fulfilled person.

 

Conclusion

It is not a bad thing to seek approval, yet it shouldn’t be your main motivator in life. We all like compliments and seeing our loved ones admiring us. However, this is just one factor among many of them, and it should not be more important than how you feel about your body. 

Your body will always belong to you. This means you are responsible for treating it right, give yourself compliments, and move it in ways that feel positive. Instead of chasing that “perfect” body image from social media, try to feel perfect in the body you already have. Body image can affect a person’s health, and these are some ways that you can resolve it. Learn more about it from our video as well! 

Check Out All Our Additional Therapy Video

Positive Body Image: Learn to Love Your Look

Self Sabotage

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Shame-Free Pleasure

Shame-Free Pleasure and Body Image

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Shame-Free Pleasure and Body Image

 

How many times have you desired shame-free pleasure, yet instead felt self-conscious about how you looked?

People compare themselves with media images which in turn causes self-doubt, dissatisfaction and hate towards their bodies; therefore, making them purchase beauty products (Tiggeman, 2005; Britton, 2012; Greenfield, 2018). 

The beauty and makeup industry actually uses unrealistic, photoshopped images to advertise their products for consumption (Richins, 1995; Cory & Burns, 2007; Greenfield, 2018). 

Literally, all around the United States, there is a glamorization of certain types of bodies while there is a disdain for others.  Social conditioning is like oxygen, and it fills every moment we are in.

Yes, we can be “aware” of it. Yet we really rarely understand the correlation that negative body image has with shame-free pleasure. 

Often, shame will leave a person  feeling disconnected and dissatisfied because they are following someone else’s life ideals, rather than tapping into their own.

 

Shame All Around

Especially in a pandemic, people are watching more advertisements and not being taught about having a healthy relationship with their bodies.  

While having a disdain for their bodies and thus not wanting to be seen for pleasure, many relationships can suffer from the messaging that minds have been programmed to see and compare themselves to. 

The human body is extraordinary and it’s capable of having pleasurable moments that can bring connection between the mind and body. 

Actually, there is a depth of shame-free pleasure that occurs when you learn to appreciate your body during solo sex or partnered pleasure. 

 

What Is Body Image?

Body image is perceived as incredibly important, especially in capitalistic cultures (Botta, 2003). And some studies have associated body image with sexual satisfaction (Lowery, 2005; Yamamiya et al, 2006; Sanchez, 2007; Weaver & Byers, 2007).  

So few people tap into their fantasy or pleasurable life because their shame is a barrier to entry. However, imagine the bliss that could occur without disdain for the human body. 

Unfortunately, no matter what your gender media images have been used as a standard to measure how individuals’ body image should appear. (Grabe et al., 2008; Brown, 2002).  

 

Why You Want Shame-Free Pleasure

  • Experience vulnerability and depth of connection, which is a major component in partnered intimacy
  • Learn about one’s own body responses and advocate towards self responsibility for sexual pleasure
  • Psychological factors that may be associated with low libido may be alleviated 

If you are really worried about having shame-free pleasure because you fear how you look, why not consider a blindfold? You can blindfold yourself or someone else! 

Or if everyone wears blindfolds, then it’s similar to having sex at night… yet in the day. 

If you aren’t convinced yet why shame-free pleasure matters, then maybe learning more about who you are on the inside can help. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What is Physical Attractiveness?

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What is Physical Attractiveness?

 

When it comes to dating and romance, there are many factors about physical attractiveness that play into selecting a new mate. 

Television, media, and peer influences also play into how we choose a new partner aside from personal preferences. 

Physical attractiveness has clear impacts on social interactions. Yet the greatest effects of attractiveness are perhaps in the realm of dating opportunities, romantic attractions, and romantic relationships. 

I remember growing up watching Baywatch fantasizing about one of the physically fit male lifeguards rescuing me. 

Television made it seem as if having six pack abs was the best thing for you, not to mention the character who usually had them was dreamy. 

Even going at lengths to discover how Pamela Anderson got her body so I would look more like her.

Physical Attractiveness

Also, not being able to wait for the next Cosmopolitan or Seventeen magazine to be published so we could all drool over the models in there.

The importance physical attractiveness is learned early in life, with children highly aware of the cultural criteria for attractiveness. Even young children know of the importance of societal requirements for attractiveness and what those standards are.

Sociocultural influences are important in determining adolescents’ standards of beauty, particularly regarding physique. And in suggesting how important appearance should be in their lives. Such influences include the messages and images portrayed by the media. As well as input from peers, family members, schools, and others in adolescents’ social surroundings. Attractive young people are widely portrayed in the media and television shows, and strongly influence young adults.

The role of the media is argued to be a particularly important factor in determining body image concerns, with research focusing on the thin ideal for females. And perceived pressure from the media to achieve a thin body image. It has been commonly noted that the physically attractive stereotype for females that is transmitted in the media includes a thin body shape that is unrealistic for most to attain. 

When asking men in today’s society what it means to be physically attractive, a wide array of answers might come to fruit. Think of it like speed dating, and you are only getting to know someone on the surface and must make a choice of whether or not to date them.

One research speed-dating event, pairs of men and women chatted for a 5-min period. After the time was up, the men rotated to the next woman. Before starting the next conversation, participants rated their attraction to the person they just met. The researchers found that physical attractiveness of the partner was the strongest predictor of initial attraction for both men and women.

Physical Attractiveness

As we age it is hard to maintain these stereotypes of thinness or six pack abs. Why doesn’t the media portray more realistic goals for men and women to obtain? Personally, the older I get, the harder it is to maintain the same weight let alone physique. What makes a curvy woman not physically attractive? I mean Marilyn Monroe was super curvy and not “thin” by media standards, but she was a huge sex icon.

The imperfectness is what makes us human and more of a reachable goal to obtain. Sure, when I was in my teens, I fell for the media brainwashing me to think I was not healthy or attractive being I was not skinny like a model.

My confidence was shaken, and I felt like no one in a million years would physically be attracted to me. As I grew up my curves and imperfections, became what made me more desirable. I also changed as a person as well. I stopped believing in what the “perfect” man was. At one-point I think having the perfect washboard abs and toned muscles was my knight in shining armor. Now, I love my partner no matter how physically fit they are. I just want them healthy.

Sexiness is in the eye of the beholder. I have been known to cause my partners to gain a little more weight when we date due to my love for cooking. Screw the stereotypes and find your own definition of what is sexy.

Eventually we all grow out of the sociocultural influences of what is desirable and create our own. Healthiness is the most important quality in a relationship. A partner who has a dad/mom bod is way more attractive and sexier being they are healthy and safe. Being healthy is what the media and television should focus more on because it is reality. Healthy comes in many shapes and sizes. Physical attractiveness stereotypes are hard to see at a young age. But as we age some of them becomes less important than they were when we were kids. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

I hate my body

I Hate My Body

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I Hate My Body

 

Have you ever said I hate my body? 

If you have, I have a question on how many companies profit from you hating yourself. Not to say that is negative. I hate my body

Just wondering if you are aware that any I hate my body statements may be fueled by the messages you consume on a daily basis! 

I hate to break it to you, yet our political, media, justice and even educational systems are often corrupted by money and / or power. Power dynamics are literally everywhere. 

Notice them. Notice who benefits by you saying “I hate my body.”

Body image is perceived as important, especially in Western Capitalistic cultures (Botta, 2003). 

Numerous studies have associated body image with sexual satisfaction (Lowery, 2005; Yamamiya et al, 2006; Sanchez, 2007; Weaver & Byers, 2007).  The way you perceive your body has something to do with the way you experience pleasure.

If you are hating your body all the time, I wonder how that affects your sexuality? 

If your sex life is less than adequate, let’s turn your focus around! 

Instead of focusing on how much you hate the body… let’s try something else. 

 

Show your body love by: 

    • Radical self care to ensuring that I meditate
    • Slowing my brain down by writing
    • Exercise and meal choices
    • Watching a sunrise or sunset

 

Practical ways:

  • Touch your throat and feel your hands
  • Tap on your heart chakra (the same latitude as the heart, yet in the center)
  • Massage the base of your skull, at your hairline
  • Explore the types of pleasure on a part of the body that isn’t sexualized
  • Breathe in through your nose
  • Breathe out through your mouth
  • Putting bare feet on the dirt or grass
  • Laying in clean sheets without clothing on
  • Replace I hate my body with I love my body! 
  • Look at yourself in the mirror and smile daily
  • Pull on your earlobes
  • Exploring your face with your hands and fingertips
  • Open your mouth and relax your jaw 
  • Notice if your shoulders are tense and relax them

 

Get our pleasure practice eguide if you want to understand how to love your body more and integrate it with your pleasure! 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call us at 203-733-9600 and press 0 to leave a message, or make an appointment.

Microaggressions In Our Society

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Microaggressions In Our Society

 

Alright Folks, we need to talk about microaggressions because they are everywhere! 

Microaggressions are statements (verbal or non-verbal) that are common in everyday life. 

They can come off as insensitive comments that are “well-intentioned” or unintentionally passive-aggressive, oblivious, or naive and harm a group of people. 

Microaggressions can be based in gender, age, body size, race, culture/ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religion, ability, etc.  They communicate a negative message or meaning towards a particular group.

 

Examples of Microaggressions: 

  • Saying to a black man… “you speak really well” or “you are really smart” (playing into the stereotype that black people speak improperly or are not intelligent)
  • A cis, het human saying to a queer person “you are too pretty to be gay.” 
  • A person without disabilities speaking louder and slower to someone in a wheelchair… The implication is that because this person has a disability, they must not be intelligent or able to hear.
  • Saying to a larger-bodied individual “wow, you are in really good shape and can move quickly” because the assumption is large bodies are not “in shape.” 
  • A patient at the hospital, speaking to a female, and requesting a doctor when they are being attended to by a female doctor. (The patient often does not realize that she is a doctor because the assumption that women are not doctors)

microaggressions

 

Implications

We all make mistakes and fall into taking on messages from the dominant culture. 

AND that does not give us the excuse to not examine our words and actions. 

It also does not give us the right to check our own privilege and biases! At LCAT, we try to do this daily. 

Microaggressions show each of us which messages we have internalized, and they provide information on what we need to examine and shift. It is not advised to use this as a style of communication. 

It is not a strategy that creates connection, contribution, growth, and/or significance. 

migroaggressions

Do better!

We need to be mindful of the messages we are receiving and giving. 

It does not matter if you were “well-intentioned” if your impact was not consensual.  

If you want to change, then you have to do “the work.” 

When you have the knowledge, do you believe it is your responsibility to alter your behaviors and actions to reflect that knowledge? 

Let us know in the comments! 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

NEDA Week

NEDA Week for Those Recovering from Disastrous Eating Disorders

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NEDA Week for Those Recovering from Disastrous Eating Disorders

NEDA week is a special time of year where we come together to honor those who are struggling with eating disorders. 

I began heavily working in the eating disorder field in 2013. Soon enough, I would come to learn what it looks like to fight every day, with challenges are struggles. 

Eating disorders are a serious affliction affecting at least 11 million Americans, and probably more.

Eating disorders are when you have an unhealthy relationship with food that becomes priority over your relationship with others. NEDA week is a time where working in a Partial Hospitalization Program, we would “let loose” and fight back with rituals instead of CBT and DBT.

I will never forget smashing scales with a group of those recovering from their illness. I remember hearing clients say that “NEDA Week gives hope!” 

There are different forms of eating disorders that involve fasting, restricting calories, binge eating. Use of laxatives, over-exercising, and / or purging. 

People struggling with eating disorders might have a fear of being overweight, be obsessed with something in particular with their food, or have unrealistic expectations about how their body ought to look. 

Whether you are struggling with restriction of calories, purging or excessive exercise, or binging, it is time to gain control of your life again and celebrate with us during NEDA week. 

We want you to love the person you see in the mirror!

NEDA Week

 

Our Favorite Exercises: 

  • Cover 60% of your mirrors with things that make you smile 
  • Unfollow EVERY single account that has messages that encourage disordered behaviors
  • Pick one part of your body that you don’t mind. Write yourself a love letter as if you were an admirer!
  • Draw a family tree and track all the people in your life that had negative beliefs about food and body image. Learn to challenge those beliefs! NEDA Week

 

 

 

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

shameless sex

Shameless Sex

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Shameless Sex

 

There’s no doubt about it, shameless sex is complex. 

Sex can range from a random fling with someone you met online to intimacy that creates the deepest connection possible.. 

No matter what kind of sex you’re having, there’s often a lot of emotion involved. Even the “casual sex” you think you’re having has something deeper at work.

Whether it’s a want for connection, a desire to outwardly express love, for kicks (or even revenge), sex is about more than just the act of genitals. 

We’re driven by a need to fill a part of us emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically through the “feel-good hormones” that get pumped into our body after lustful, intimate, or sexual connection. 

After sex sometimes feels complicated. 

Have you ever sat and thought about how you’re feeling after sex? 

Unfortunately, a lot of people, for several reasons, feel shame during and after sex. Shame can be a debilitating condition that hampers your ability to enjoy sex and experience everything it can give you.

 

How Sex Education Impacts Our Attitudes About Intimacy

It’s normal for all of us to have grown up in a more conservative environment than the one in which we live now. People’s ideas about morality and sex become more open as they expose themselves to new ideas. It takes time to overcome and discard the narrow thinking of the past.

You may have grown up in a conservative religious home where sex was taboo and not a conversation to be discussed. Abstinence may have been the only option, so you learned to view sex as forbidden. 

The people in your immediate circle – your parents, friends, mentors, and teachers – are more likely to have shared similar beliefs, so there wasn’t much in the way of information to be had.

Without proper preparation, you may not have been ready when you started to encounter sex. Sexual thoughts and acts may have been something you kept in secret. 

Many religious people grow up having to hide even masturbation, something we know now is normal and almost completely universal.

When we associate sex with something bad or shameful, it warps our ability to connect and on a much more basic level enjoy sex! 

It can take years of therapy and so many ups and downs to overcome the feelings of guilt and shame we carried for years.

 

The Difference Between Shame and Guilt

We need to make a distinction here that shame does not equal guilt. They often get bunched together, but they’re very different.

shameless sex

Guilt can be a positive emotion because it helps us adapt and correct harmful or detrimental behavior. It can drive us to become better and push us away from negativity. 

Shame, on the other hand, isn’t a helpful emotion. 

With shame, we veer into the territory of letting our mistakes or something bad that’s happened to us define who we are. Instead of recognizing something we did was bad, we become bad.

Shame can be debilitating. It can trigger anxiety that affects the way we think and interact with those around us. If you’ve struggled with shame in the past, there’s a good chance you’ve struggled with shame in the bed as well.

 

The Baggage We All Carry

The moment we realize that every person we have sex, and every time we have sex, we carry with us certain attitudes and thoughts about who we are and what we’re doing. Baggage can range from something horrible like childhood or sexual trauma to other issues like poor body image.

So often, we let baggage define us. It’s who we feel we are deep inside despite whatever image we project to a one-night stand or our committed partners. Overcoming baggage and identifying shame is so important to enjoying sex. Whether you’re trying to simply have fun and get off, or you long for meaningful eye contact as you make passionate love to someone you love, shedding the shame can give you the permission you need to let loose and enjoy sex.

 

Shameless Sex Through Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a gigantic step we can all take to drop our baggage approach sex more positively. After all, isn’t it time you cut yourself a break?

We tend to take things so seriously, even sex. Have you ever been in bed and listened to some of the negative thoughts that seem to race through your head? “Is he disappointed in my body?” “I’m worried I won’t be able to orgasm.” “Why am I so tense?” When we’re having what should be an amazing experience, we’re busy shooting ourselves down.

Self-compassion, on a very basic level, means cutting yourself a break! Instead of letting the way you feel define you as a person, you put them in a box labeled just what they are, “something you experienced once”. It’s a practice during which we focus on forgiving ourselves for whatever we did or happened to us.

 

Rejecting Shame and Embracing Shameless Sex

If you have trouble relaxing during sex or feel shame about your body, then reading this article isn’t going to solve your problem. You know by now that shame isn’t something you abandon. It’s usually buried deep and digging it up takes work.

Working with a licensed therapist can help you recognize shame and other detrimental emotions that prevent you from enjoying sex and other aspects of your life.

Don’t worry, you’re here because you know sex should be fun and something enjoyable.

Shameless sex is something a lot of us aspire to and are working earnestly towards. Stop thinking that something is wrong with you and that one magic day all of your problems and shame around sexual issues will disappear.

Experiencing shameless sex starts with the desire to get better.

Shameless sex for people who have wrestled with shame in the past is something we’re constantly working on. We learn how to forgive ourselves for being human and maybe even laugh at ourselves once in a while. It’s all part of the process of approaching sex is a more realistic, positive way.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Body Positivity

Body Positivity for People of all Identities and Abilities

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 Body Positivity for People of all Identities and Abilities

Body positivity for all people is our goal!

What is body positivity, you may ask?

Body positivity is a view of the body that is focused on the strengths and characteristics of our bodies, while avoiding discussions of “fat” or “skinny” and shaming of other bodies.

One of the main complaints in sexual satisfaction is that individuals, of all identities and abilities, discuss that they “hate their body.”

If you hate your body, it is going to be challenging to be body positive, AND it is may have a strong correlation between experiencing difficulty in achieving pleasurable sex.

 

Why It’s Easy to Hate Your Body!

Body Positivity can be a challenge for all, especially since we are conditioned to look for the negative instead of the positive.

Although looking for the negative is a survival mechanism that keeps us safe and alive, it often deprives us of the richer feelings of life that positivity brings.

Whether you know it or not, messages about how to design your relationships and your sexual satisfaction, who we ought to be, and what we ought to look like are culturally conditioned into us.

If you think about your upbringing… think about how everything you have learned has been filtered to you through your family, schools, media, or other communities you are a part of.

When I really think about it, it is no wonder hate is easier than love.

However, let’s not accept this! Let’s strive for MORE BODY POSITIVITY!

Since I was 19 years old, I began my journey of radical body positivity.

Here are some of the things I have learned to break through old thought patterns and start with body positivity for people of ALL Identities and Abilities.  

 

Ways to Love Your Body!

 

1. Fall in love with your hygiene

Hygiene is something we “have” to do, and it is something that we can gain satisfaction from.

Brushing your teeth and flossing daily can significantly improve how you feel about yourself. When you love your smile, it shows!

Body Positivity

Have gatherings with some friends where you do face masks, file and paint nails, and agree to give each other hand or shoulder massages.

Get your nails done. Most nail salons in my area have seating to fit all body sizes. Similarly, some have portable water basins, stations, and dryers which are set up for wheelchair accessibility.

Showers and bathing can transform from MUST DO to PLEASURE-CENTERED. If you can, make more time in your schedule by taking away a TV show and adding a candle and some music in the bathroom.

For those who have hair – get a shampoo and conditioner you LOVE. It will be icing on the cake of how you feel about yourself, regardless of your identity or your abilities.    

 

2. Tell yourself in the MIRROR daily “I love you and your body, ________.” (Add your name!)

Body Positivity

It doesn’t matter how silly it seems. This is important. Self-love MATTERS. Think about all the times you tell yourself, silently, mean things.

You have to start combatting some of those thoughts and REPLACING that negative, mean comment with a more positive belief about yourself.

 

3.     Begin practicing mind-body integrations!

Many of us weren’t modeled self-love, due to generations of trauma that our families carried before us.

Now that we have the luxuries of the modern world, we have not had the mentors to teach us about integration of mind, body, and emotions.

Body Positivity

We all know it is important and have heard about mind-body connection before… have you practiced it though?

If you aren’t actively integrating this, you are missing out on a huge aspect of loving yourself.

Whether it be EMDR therapy, yoga, meditation, or sound baths (especially for those who have limited movement), try to find some way connect your mind with your body.

 

4.     Hydration!

A personal favorite of mine. Drink water! Take your body weight (in pounds) and divide it by 2. This is your suggested daily water intake!

When you are hydrated, your body functions better. Please remember to consult with a doctor!

Body Positivity 

5.     Visit an APRN!

If you are blessed with health insurance, visit an advanced practice registered nurse, who has the ability and experience to provide psychiatric medications.

If you don’t love your body, talking with someone in the medical field is important. They have answers on the body that a mental health professional would not.

 

What are your favorite techniques for body positivity?

If you can’t begin to fathom any of these options, please see a body-positive mental health professional or clinician. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

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Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

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