LGBTQ+ Sex Education: Equal and Inclusive Sex Education for All 

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LGBTQ+ Sex Education:

Equal and Inclusive Sex Education for all 

 

All youth deserve a comprehensive sex education, including LGBTQ+ youth. Yet many sex education classes do not include the LGBTQ+ community at all. This keeps LGBTQ+ students from learning about safe sex and health interactions and creates a school environment where they are mistreated. 

There is tons of evidence that comprehensive sex education reduces high-risk sexual behaviors, promotes safer sex practices and prevents pregnancy and STIs among youth. Furthermore, LGBTQ youth are more often affected by negative sexual health outcomes. Unfortunately, this is a population that is removed from the conversation during sex education classes. 

 

Current Sex Education promotes prejudice or ignores LGBTQ+ youth

Most US states do not require sex education programs to include sexual orientation, and many teach that same-sex is “bad” and “undesirable.” 

This provides LGBTQ+ youth with an environment that will promote discrimination, bullying, and hate. This stigma and discrimination against LGBTQ+ youth can cause mental-health issues and substance use abuse among LGBTQ+ youth. Promoting a safe and inclusive environment for those students can reduce suffering and improve mental health and school performance. 

 

Including LGBTQ+ youth in sex education classes benefits all students

Sex education that includes everyone affirms LGBTQ+ youth, normalizes different identities. And teaches cis and straight students to interact respectfully with queer people. Inclusive sex education and honest conversations about sex and gender can help people come to terms with their own identities and decrease harmful stereotypes. 

Incorporating a comprehensive sex education teaches all students about consent and how to navigate difficult and awkward conversations regarding sex. Learning about consent, boundaries, and safe sex is essential for all students, regardless of their sexuality or gender.

Additionally, learning about sexuality and gender in sex education classes promotes positive outcomes for LGBTQ+ youth and helps to normalize and affirm their identities. This will reduce bullying and stigma and teach cis and straight students proper terminology and ways to respectfully speak to their peers. 

 

Sex Education should not be a “one-size-fits-all” approach 

Sex education should value all identities and incorporate LGBTQ+-specific content. This should include specific struggles that members of the LGBTQ+ community face, such as coming out, STI protection, and gender identity formation. 

All young people should learn about healthy sex and relationships.

Ignoring many students due to outdated views on heterosexuality is unacceptable and unsafe.

 

What would LGBTQ+ inclusive sex education look like in practice?

LGBTQ+ inclusive sex education would address sexual health information for people of all identities. It would educate students on safe sexual practices and give them tools to navigate boundaries and consent. Also, it aims to tackle LGBTQ+ disparities and challenges, allowing students to discuss sex and gender.

It would also educate students on pronouns and the difference between sexuality and gender identity. It would not only focus on heterosexual relationships or stigmatize queer relationships. Further legislation should be passed in order to mandate that schools be inclusive of all students in order to foster positive relationships and identities. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know Melody Atkinson, LMFT-A by making an appointment. Her specialization is trauma-informed practices, alternative methods to explore ADHD, LGBTQIA+ relationships, and identity.

Start your journey here with Melody.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us with a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How is the Barbie Movie Symbolizing Women’s Empowerment?

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How is the Barbie Movie Symbolizing Women’s Empowerment?

 

If you’ve seen the Barbie movie, you might have been surprised at first to learn how much Barbie and the women’s empowerment movement have in common. Barbie was a pretty doll to play with in our childhood. The movie you have probably heard about helped us see her complexity. 

In case you haven’t watched the movie yet, we’ve compiled several reasons we think Barbie should be on your to-watch list. 

Grab a friend, sister, niece, or partner and have a great cinematic experience while highlighting the journey of womanhood in our world.

 

Women Behind the Barbie Movie

To create such a heartfelt story that impacted millions of women worldwide, this movie surely needed a team of strong women. Margot Robbie’s portrayal of Barbie has transformed her from a one-dimensional character to a real woman who interacts with the outside world. Greta Gerwig, who is well-known for putting women and their untold stories at the forefront of her films like Little Women and Lady Bird, wrote and directed it. Even Barbie’s high-arched feet, formerly permanently molded into plastic to accommodate high heels, flatten out in the movie.

Amazing actresses like America Ferrera, Issa Rae, Kate McKinnon, Alexandra Shipp, and Emma Mackey were responsible for portraying each Barbie. Even the popular singer Dua Lipa appears as one of the Barbies. Naturally, men play Kens in the film. These were, however, supporting roles that were used to highlight the differences between the Barbie world and reality.  

 

How the Barbie Movie Empowers Women

“Stereotypical Barbie” and all other Barbies live in Barbieland, a matriarchal society where all women are successful, independent, and confident, according to the movie. Barbies work as doctors, lawyers, and legislators, while Kens relax at the beach. Barbie prefers her independence and time with the other Barbies, despite Beach Ken’s attempts to win her over.  

Barbie claims that empowering girls and women to believe in themselves has improved the world. Stereotypical Barbie leaves the fantasy world with Ken (Ryan Gosling) after an existential crisis. They discover during their travels that the majority of the women they meet in the real world require more empowerment. They were shocked to learn that men appear to hold the majority of economic and other power. 

 

Why Barbie Is Still Relevant

America Ferrera, who plays Mattel employee Gloria, mentioned how men can enjoy childhood pastimes like video games and comic books as adults. However, women must mature, set aside pleasures, sacrifice for others, and perform their duties while grinning selflessly. That is why the actress played Gloria. She viewed this figure as a resilient woman who made it into adulthood without giving up her belief in the value of childlike wonder, high aspirations, or originality. 

While grieving, Gloria looks for comfort in a memento from happier times. In a way that many women can relate to, she longs for the ease of her childhood. As the film progresses, it becomes clear that Barbie was mistaken in thinking that a young girl going through an existential crisis was playing with her. Instead, it was a full-grown woman who spends her downtime at Mattel conceptualizing new Barbies. It is truly remarkable that Barbie depicted an adult retreating to the familiarity of a childhood toy in the face of hardship, despair, and confusion. 

That is why the film resonated so deeply with women. We can simultaneously take on many identities.  We can be joyful, creative, and childlike even as grown women. 

 

One Last Thing

Girls grow up way too quickly. We naturally assume more moral, emotional, and sexual responsibility, even if we do not try. The global women’s empowerment movement aims to change that. The smartest people in the room can be playful. Without impressing others, we can dress cute or sexy. We deserve to love our childhood heroes like men do: Superman, Batman, the Ninja Turtles, and more. Yet, we love the Barbie movie. 

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

body image therapy

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Gender Nonconforming & The Meaning Behind It

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Gender Nonconforming & The Meaning Behind It

 

For those who still haven’t heard of gender nonconforming, it is a term given to people who don’t conform with the gender norms expected of them. Typically, gender nonconforming refers to gender expressions or presentation, yet it can also refer to behavior, preferences, and roles that simply don’t conform to these gender norms. However, if someone is gender-nonconforming it doesn’t imply that a person is transgender or nonbinary, although a person can be both. 

Gender Expectations

Gender expectations are something that a gender non-conforming person will not conform with. They are the roles, dress, behavior, and appearance society expects from certain genders. So, we’ll have women in a specific society where it’s expected of them to shave their legs, while men might be expected not to show vulnerability. The majority of the time, most of us will not conform to those gender expectations. So we’ll have women who choose not to shave their legs and men who show their vulnerability and wear dresses. 

Gender expectations will be different depending on the society and culture, so what might be considered as gender nonconforming in one culture might not be that in another one. For instance, in the American culture, these would be some of the gender nonconformity examples: 

  • men showing emotions and tenderness,
  • women wearing suits on their wedding day instead of dresses,
  • men wearing eyeliner,
  • women pursuing careers instead of marriage or motherhood,
  • men shaving under their armpits,
  • women being assertive.

By looking at these standards, most people are gender nonconforming because probably few people would conform fully to these gender expectations. Would this mean that we’re all gender-nonconforming? Not necessarily. We say that someone is gender-nonconforming when they are intentionally subverting these gender norms. 

Gender Identity

Gender identity refers to a person’s internalized psychological experience of being female or male, and gender nonconformity is about the degree to which a person’s appearance, behavior, interests. And subjective self-concept deviate from the conventional norms the society uses for masculinity or femininity. 

The Gender roles differ from culture to culture. For instance, in the American culture, gender roles would determine:

  • which gender should pursue another romantically,
  • also which gender should be the breadwinner or the only provider of a household,
  • which gender should take care of domestic duties.

Many people will not conform to these gender roles which would be an example of gender nonconformity. For instance, a woman might have a successful career while the man stays at home and takes care of the family. Or, a woman can invite a man on a date. 

Gender Conforming or Gender Nonconforming? 

So, are these your only two options – gender-conforming or gender-nonconforming? Keep in mind that the term gender-conforming is often used without thinking about it. As we’ve already said, the majority of people will not conform fully to the gender expectations mentioned above. We will adjust conform to ones in some way and then subvert the other ones. If you’re uncertain about what you would choose, it probably means that gender conformity is not that big deal for you. In other words, you are quite satisfied with living your life authentically. Regardless of whether it matches the expectations of your gender or not. 

Anyone can be gender nonconforming as it’s not the same as being nonbinary, however, a person can be both gender-nonconforming and nonbinary. Simply put, a person doesn’t have to be nonbinary or transgender to be considered gender non-conforming. For instance, cisgender men might decide to wear dresses as an expression of their gender. Yet this doesn’t immediately imply that he’s nonbinary. It depends on the person’s choice.

You will hear people who will say that a nonbinary person has to be gender non-conforming because they don’t conform to the gender binary or any expectations for their gender. In reality, it depends on what the person chose for themselves. You are the only one who has the right to decide what will apply to you and what won’t. 

Gender Nonconforming In Practice

Depending on your choice, your gender-nonconforming actions can be big or small. Let’s keep in mind that gender nonconformity greatly depends on the cultural context. If in your culture, women are expected to grow their leg hair and not shave it, fitting this norm wouldn’t be gender conforming. However, if you were a woman living in a culture where society expects you to shave your leg, deciding not to do it would be a gender nonconformity action. 

An action of gender nonconformity can be wearing “men’s” clothing instead of “women’s”. Yet it doesn’t have to be like that for everyone. It might also look like wearing androgynous clothing. Gender nonconformity can extend to hairstyles, makeup/no makeup, grooming practices, etc. Besides gender expression, it might also include attitudes, gestures, gender roles, and so on. 

When compared to genderqueer or genderfluid, gender non-conforming is more about fender expression than gender identity. If you’re genderqueer, it means that your gender identity falls outside of heterosexual, cisgender norms. On the other hand, if you’re genderfluid, it means that having a gender identity will change and shift for you over time. Some people will use the term gender nonconforming to even describe their gender identity. All of these options actually imply that each person can decide what will work for them and what doesn’t. And all that works for them might not work for the next person. 

Think of it as a broad term that includes feminine, masculine, and androgynous traits, and sometimes even a mixture of all three. It’s the perfect term for those who enjoy playing around with dressing or gender expression in certain ways yet are not looking for a certain word to describe their gender identity. So, you will need to find what works for you and don’t worry, you can change it anytime you want if you don’t like it anymore.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Transgender Teen

Supporting A Transgender Teen and Family in Transitioning 

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Supporting A Transgender Teen and Their Family in Transitioning

 

Part of our work at Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is supporting transgender teen clients and their families to adjust. Coming out as a transgender teen is a process.

Often, it is complex for teens and their families, because it is a transition for the entire family system.

 

Basic Terms

Identifying as transgender is when someone is born as male or female and ascribed a gender of boy or girl at birth based on their genitals. When someone is transgender it means that they do not feel the gender ascribed to them at birth is accurate. 

Non-binary, gender creative, and gender expansive individuals are people who do not ascribe to the gender binary of male/female or man/woman. These individuals typically see gender as fluid or do not ascribe to one gender at all. 

Dead name refers to the name the individual was given at birth, not the name the individual chooses as they come out. 

Pronouns  are the way a person identifies. The most common pronouns are: she/her, they/them, he/him, ze/zir. When someone misgenders someone it is when someone uses the incorrect pronoun. This happens often when people come out as transgender or non-binary. The deliberate misuse and misgendering causes significant harm to the individual coming out.

Due to our society adjusting our perspectives on the LGBTQ+ community, we have made head way in seeing the people are able to come out earlier in their life (usually in adolescence where identity is a primary developmental task) thus allowing them to lead healthier adult lives. I will say it 10000 times that these outcomes are based on how the community, family, and close individuals around the person coming out respond or react to them coming out. 

If you are a close friend or family member of someone in the LGBTQ community, especially within the gender non-conforming or transgender population, it is incredibly important for you to learn and understand how your response can cause harm to the individual coming out. 

 

Transitioning the Family

For the family, adjusting to their teenage family member using a different name and pronoun can be incredibly difficult. Even in the most supportive environments this is complicated. If you had any beliefs that may make the circumstance less supportive it can result in massive issues for the teen themselves and the family. 

One of the most important things to do as a family member is to work through the grief you have. Grief is a normal part of any major changes in someone’s life, this is no different. What I see most in families is the need to grief what they expected and how to integrate that with who the teen is and the memories they have with them. 

The most common thing I see in families is people not addressing their grief and projecting (putting it on) those around them, especially the transgender teen who is coming out. This looks like making it about themselves, arguing about what pronoun is appropriate, using the teens name vs. dead naming them, or misgendering. This makes someones coming out experience about you rather than the person coming out, which is a problem.

To be extremely clear, I am not saying you should not address your own personal feelings, grief, and experience – in fact I am saying the opposite. HOWEVER, this should be done NOT with the person who is coming out. The person coming out has enough of their own stuff to deal than trying to help you manage your experience and reaction to this. I would suggest finding a therapist or joining a support group where you can process your feelings and experiences safely without causing harm to the person who is coming out. 

 

Progress not Perfection

It is okay if you are having a difficult time with your teen transitioning. However, it is not okay to take that confusion out on those around. 

Family and friends do not have to be perfect. Yet, if you mess up – OWN IT. Owning can look like a simple “I am sorry.” Or owning it means asking clarification! Similarly, it could be learning more about transitioning through finding helpful resources. 

This does not look like making it about yourself or justifying why you did what you did. Please, do not have the individual coming out teach you before you do research.  

  • taking accountability
  • asking for clarification
  • apologizing
  • doing your research.

 

Please, try your best to respect someone’s name and pronouns. 

Think about how as a culture we shift last names of those that are married or when celebrities change their name. Therefore, an individual can use the same cognitive shifts for those in their life.

If you are finding it challenging or difficult please seek support from a professional to deconstruct why that is.

You are not perfect, I do not ever expect perfection from my clients. I do expect progress tho. Progress not perfection.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Queerplatonic

Situationships: Queerplatonic or The Bond of Intimate Friendship?

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Situationships: Queerplatonic or The Bond of Intimate Friendship?

 

Queerplatonic or The Bond of Intimate Friendship?

If your mental health is causing you to struggle in your friendships, this is the how-to guide on responding when your friendships are struggling. 

Most common friendship myths: 

  • Friends do not move to cities, states, and/or countries to be with each other.
  • They do not celebrate anniversaries or special moments within their relationship.
  • Friends do not love as strongly as romantic partners. 

In one way or another, open communication is needed in all friendships, situationships, partnerships, and relationships. 

Queerplatonic is an umbrella term for relationships that differ (or “queer”) away from the platonic; therefore, bending the rules on what is considered acceptable or not. 

No two queerplatonic relationships are exactly alike, yet they break the idea of what is “normal.”

 

Queerplatonic situationships or friendships may (or may not):

  • go on “dates” or celebrate milestones
  • be emergency contacts
  • have shows together that are “theirs”
  • dedicate songs to one another
  • give each other cards
  • be physically affectionate; such as hug or cuddle often
  • kiss each other (on the lips, top of the head, forehead) 
  • live together or share a bed
  • plan vacations together 
  • partner exclusively or non monogamous
  • care about each other’s opinion of romantic partners

Typically, a queerplatonic relatedness values intimacy and loyalty.

If you are having difficulties in one of your queer platonic relatinoships, outline what would make it feel better. 

Discuss what your needs are and what you may be desiring. 

 

Example of Healthy Conversation in Friendships: 

At times, our friends will feel something is happening with us, and they may check in. If a queer platonic friend checks in, and says something like “I feel off. Are you mad?” that will likely cause reactions in the person they are speaking to. 

No matter what the bond, first responses to personal statements may feel uncomfortable or even unhealthy. 

In a healthy connection, saying something like:

“the part that is showing up is disappointed you are not understanding me. The story I am telling myself is that I am not clear and confusing. I am not feeling off in a blaming or disappointed sense towards you. I feel frustrated internally that as evidenced by your responses, you are not understanding me. This reminds me of when I was a child… so that has me pull back and that’s probably why you feel something is off.” 

Then, give them an appreciation of “thank you for checking in.” 

 

Followed with an attuning question, “what is going on for you when you hear me say this?” 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Demisexuality

What is Demisexuality? 

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What is Demisexuality? 

Demisexuality is a broad sexual identity that focuses on sexual attraction being strongly linked to someone’s emotional bond with someone. Someone who is demisexual does not [often] feel attraction without emotional connection. 

Someone who is demisexual can be attracted to any gender or person and may identify as straight or same or all sex or gender attracted (LGBTQI+). 

When working with demisexual people, often I hear that they do not identify physical attraction to anyone UNLESS they have an emotional bond and connection. Therefore, for them, there isn’t love at first sight. Demisexuality is an identity where connection is where sexual energy comes from. 

Demisexuals rarely report that they have attraction to someone they have only seen in passing. 

Emotional bonds are emotional connections between people. 

There are a variety of people who will not have partnered sex with someone until they feel like time has passed and they “have gotten to know someone”. However, that is different from what demisexual people’s experience may be. 

Demisexuality Explained

People who are demisexual do not feel attraction to someone else unless emotional connection happens. People who choose to wait to have sex with someone usually still feel attracted to someone much earlier in the process. 

For example, with clients who do not want to have sex until they feel comfortable while online dating they still are able to “swipe right or left” based on their initial response to people’s profile (pictures and information). 

My clients who identify as demisexual have reported having a much harder time online dating in “swiping.” 

Luckily, they begin to know as they start messaging or dating someone rather than just based on pure attraction.

Demisexual individuals value sex as important to them. The common thing in my clients who identify as demisexual is that it matters about the person. And their connection and that that connection is of primary importance. 

People who are demisexual often report the following: 

  • Rarely feel sexual attraction to strangers or acquaintances
  • Felt sexual attraction towards people close to them (friends, romantic partners, etc)
  • Emotional connection determines the level of attraction (sexual, romantic, platonic, etc)
  • Limited interest in engaging in sexual activities regardless of the way someone looks
  • Want a variety of romantic, platonic, etc. relationships because emotional connection is a primary need they have
  • Often need increased levels of emotional bonds (communication and connection) from those in their life

This does not mean that demisexual people do not have sex with people that they are not attracted to. People of variety of identities choose to have sex or not have sex with people regardless of their attraction. Or just because someone feels sexual attraction to someone does not automatically mean they will have sex with them.

I think it is important to recognize that people’s choice around who they choose to have sex with is their own. Allow the individual to identify their own identities rather than others trying to define what someone else’s identity is. 

If you do not understand, please seek to understand and be curious rather than engage in behavior where judgments occur. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

female masturbation and orgasm

Female Masturbation And Orgasm – Hands-Free Techniques

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Female Masturbation And Orgasm – 14 Hands-Free Techniques

 

Learn about 14 female masturbation and orgasm techniques without using your hands from an article in Womens Health Interactive featuring LCAT owner, Amanda Pasciucco. Written by Wednesday Lee Friday

Whether you refer to it as vibe time, flicking the bean, rubbing one out, or some other witty moniker — most people aren’t opposed to a healthy dose of masturbation.

Society has accepted that men give themselves handjobs on the regular, but not everyone has received the memo that women — wait for it — also enjoy sexual self-gratification.

According to one study that explored the masturbation habits of more than 3,600 women, 91% reported pleasuring themselves at some point during their lives, with 29.3% doing so within the past month.

This is important because fewer than 20% of women regularly orgasm during intercourse with a partner.

 

Dr. Pasciucco on Female Masturbation and Orgasm

Amanda Pasciucco, a licensed therapist known as The Sex Healer, told us that most women have their first sexual experience with another person, while the majority of men have theirs while alone.

With a little bit of know-how, though, almost anyone can orgasm through masturbation, hands-free or otherwise — although not everyone wants to.

I met a woman in college who had no idea that “normal people actually masturbate.”

She honestly believed that only “perverted men” have sex with themselves.

While that may seem like a staggering information gap, it turns out that this sheltered gal was not alone in her thinking.

Limited sex education in schools (don’t even get us started!) and the generalized sense of shame that clouds sexual knowledge leads to grown adults who never learned some of the most basic carnal truths.

But it’s never too late to get the facts you missed!

Even people who say they don’t masturbate probably find ways to self-stimulate, even if they’re unable to call it what it is:

 

Female Masturbation and Orgasm

We talked to a lot of awesomely forthcoming women to learn more about their experiences with personal giggity. Meaning, names have been redacted to protect the sexy and discreet.

One thing that we discovered along the way is just how many different ways a vulva-owner can masturbate — without even using their hands.

(Editor’s Note: for our purposes, the term “women” encompasses both binary and non-binary women.)

 

Article Summary:

Hands-free female masturbation and orgasm, offers a bunch of amazing benefits and it can be done in a zillion different ways — your creativity is the only limit.

This handy, yet hands-free, masturbation guide is full of fun suggestions, safety tips, and a helpful anatomy lesson! Which, you may or may not have gotten in Sex Ed.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience? 

Get your copy of Bliss: Proven Solutions for Improving the Female O 

Get Bliss: Proven Methods for Improving Female O

Sex Therapy Videos Female Orgasm Video Therapy

In this article, we’ll talk about:

Read the entire article here

 

female masturbation and orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

What is Gender Dysphoria? 

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What is Gender Dysphoria? 

 

Gender dysphoria is the term used when someone experiences distress from their body based on their gender identity or expression. 

 

In other words, someone who was born biologically one sex and assigned a specific gender. If this person feels distressed surrounding their body, genitals, and / or other aspects of their body. Anything that may amplify their biological sex or gender assigned at birth may cause more gender dysphoria. 

 

The Basics: 

 

Biological sex is determined based on genital presentation at birth (usually male or female) and then there is a “labeled” or assigned a gender based on that (for example: girl or boy). 

 

For some individuals, as they age throughout their life (and even as early as childhood), they do not identify with their assigned gender. 

 

Someone’s gender identity is what someone experiences as their gender. Whereas someone’s gender expression is how someone shows their gender through dress, hair, make up, etc.

 

When someone’s assigned gender does not feel congruent with their gender identity, it often results in gender dysphoria. 

 

This distress is common in folks who are gender non-conforming. Therefore, the result may lead to individuals engaging in gender affirmation treatments (such as surgeries, using hormones, or binding, etc.) 

 

What are the symptoms of Gender Dysphoria?

 

Here is what gender dysphoria may look like: 

 

  • Feelings that your biological sex does not match your gender identity
  • Feeling comfort with another gendered experience than what was assigned at birth
  • Strong desire to hide and / or get rid of physical signs of your sex
  • Discomfort around genitals or chest
  • Insistence of being a different gender
  • Distress while physical changes are happening during puberty (not typical experiences of hormones changing or mood swings, etc)

 

Although these may be the most common or obvious ways that dysphoria can be seen. This brief list does not cover the whole scope of what could be experienced by others’ experience of gender dysphoria.

 

How to Get or Give Support

 

Gender dysphoria is a complicated concept for many to understand and requires a level of competence and / or education to be able to support. 

 

Individuals who are experiencing gender dysphoria often get discrimination for this. It is important to consider medical providers who have experience in this area. 

 

Similarly, you can encourage someone that may be experiencing gender dysphoria to find new support systems and places where they are able to be themselves. 

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

 

 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Behind the Scenes of a Woman Owned Business 

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Starting a woman owned business is fulfilling, terrifying, and a form of radical dedication and commitment. 

I compare my business to a part of my soul, kind of like Mike Michalowicz’ analogy of your business as a Siamese twin – you share the same vital organs.  

Having a woman owned business is similar to being a caretaker for an elderly family member – you do it because you love them – and it comes with challenges weekly, daily, and sometimes… hourly. 

When you’re starting your own business, you need to trust others to perform certain tasks, which creates a system of connection between staff. 

Doing this will allow enough time for you to enjoy the business, while delegating creates a system of collaboration. 

Why I Started It On My Own vs. Joining a Practice

I have wanted to be a therapist since I was 8 years old. I started a Woman-Owned Business because I knew that I would have my own practice and I had my mindset on that as my goal.

Although I knew I wanted to be a therapist, I didn’t exactly know the type of business to launch first. Visualizing a group practice full of wonderful licensed clinicians to help those who have trauma and problems within their lives find access to their pleasure again.   

Knowing what I wanted – a group practice – I was able to make it my priority, and my focus as I grew older.

Joining another practice is a great idea if you do not want to run a business; however, I enjoyed the business aspect.

I could get my one-person business on track without issues because it’s what I enjoy doing. 

Prioritizing my tasks, setting long-term goals, and understanding my limitations mattered. 

Similarly, I also surrounded myself with supportive people who were great sources of motivation to ensure my woman owned business success. I networked and met those in my area to introduce myself. 

What Have Been My Challenges?

Every business comes with its challenges and woman owned businesses are not exempted. The first challenge I encountered was finding capital to begin the business.

Many individual business owners face this challenge because building a business comes with many roles. I have to plan, advertise my business, manage customers, and be accountable for everything in the business.

Ideally, I should be able to get employees for this role. However, it means I’ll be spending more money, which isn’t a financially wise decision when starting a business. However, I could spend less and overcome financial challenges by employing part-time contractors rather than full-time employees.

Taking leaps of faith to expand my business also helped a great deal. So, expanding my business gave me an opportunity to make more profit and overcome the financial challenges that come with a Woman Owned Business.

Many other challenges come with being a business owner, and here are some steps to take charge of the situation:

  • Critically assessing the cause of the challenge – is it your product or service? Are you marketing to the audience that wants these results? 
  • Having realistic, measurable goals, knowing the small steps needed to achieve these goals, tracking your progress, and managing your time.
  • Implementing cost-effective strategies for growing your business.
  • Streamlining and creating systems in your work to save time in the future.
  • Making your roles easy to delegate to maximize productivity.

How I Lead and Motivate

Developing a Woman-Owned business came with lots of obstacles for me, and I can assure you that there are times that I’m worn-out. However, this does not stop me because I know my goal. 

Owning a business also comes with responsibilities, and one of which is the ability to make decisions on my own. I work with coaches, marketing teams, and I read books to learn from other successful entrepreneurs.

Filter out the tips that don’t work for you and apply those that fit with your business.

I was able to lead and motivate by using nonviolent communication to point out an employee’s mistake. Doing this will make them realize that you respect them regardless of the fact that they work for you. Besides, arguing and blaming doesn’t solve anything.

I also prefer to ask questions instead of assuming the answer – to prevent accusations and blaming.

Similarly, I motivate my staff by paying them on time. 

This has been worth it, and it has helped me gain the trust of those that work for me. Unfortunately more often than I feel comfortable with, I hear of clinicians who aren’t getting paid on time in their small women-owned business.

By ensuring that we have sales and revenue, I’m certain that contractors deliver their scope of work at the right time, and that they are happy working with me.

Why is a Healthcare/Clinician Practice Even More Challenging to Start Than, Let’s say, a Retail Store, etc.?

The healthcare practice is a more challenging industry than a retail business because we are dealing with tender emotions. If you have a retail store, you can start your business, advertise your product and sell it the same day. 

It doesn’t work that way when you’re a clinician.

People want to be sure that they’re dealing with the right person before putting their lives and sharing their stories with you. 

Gaining that trust is a crucial part of the business. 

We also are a combined insurance and private pay business, keeping multiple hats on at once. 

All these are parts together with owning a healthcare practice. These and many other reasons make it more challenging than an average business.

Finally, as a business owner, you need to bring out the best in the people around you. 

Before starting a Woman-Owned business, be sure of what you want. If you’re skeptical, you can start by making it a side business venture before making it a full-time business.

This way, you can be sure that your major source of income is intact until your business starts to gain traction. 

It also makes you financially capable of moving your business forward as a woman-owned business when you leave your corporate job.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Cisgender

What Does Cisgender Mean?

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What Does Cisgender Mean?

 

If you are on the mobile app dating scene, you have likely come across the term “cisgender.” 

Whether it is cisgender, straight male or cisgender queer woman, there seem to be endless labels to self-identify.

Let’s go through the basics of gender identity vs sex vs sexuality to gain a deeper understanding of the term cisgender.

 

Mirriam Webster’s Definition of “Cisgender”:

 “Of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth.”

This means that if a baby is born, and the doctor assigns them as “male” based on them having a penis or “female” based on them having a vagina, and the person identifies with how they were assigned at birth, they are cisgender, or cis for short.

gender expression

What is Gender?

To better understand and contextualize the term “cisgender,” let’s look at what gender even is.

Gender is a social construct around the “rules” of what is considered masculine and feminine. It is how you identify on the spectrum of these characteristics and is more about how you feel internally than what genitals you have.

There are dozens, if not hundreds, of different gender identities, though in the mainstream up until recently we only had “male” and “female”, aka the gender binary. Now there are people who even identify as being nonbinary, agender or genderqueer. The definition can vary from person to person, though basically it means they do not identify with either spectrum of the gender binary.

When someone lists their pronouns, this is based on their gender identity, which is the way they feel inside about their identity in the context of society’s ideals of masculine and feminine.

 

What is Sex?

Sex is a collection of biological markers and attributes that the scientific community has designated to describe a person’s gender in the past, though now it is becoming more common to not let someone’s biological sex determine their gender identity.

The truth is, even sex isn’t black and white. There are genitals, hormones, chromosomes and other characteristics that can vary wildly, and to not acknowledge that sex and gender are separate excludes folks who are born with ambiguous sex characteristics, otherwise known as people who are intersex.

Your sex is how a member of the medical community would likely describe your physical, biological body, and is not indicative of gender expression. There are men with vaginas, women with penises, and everything and anyone in between.

 

What is Sexuality?

Sexuality is the easiest to understand: it’s about who you do (and don’t) want to have sex with. Someone can be cisgender and gay, because your gender does not dictate your sexuality. Someone can also be transgender and straight, again the two are unrelated.

Sexuality is also said to be on a spectrum, such as the infamous Kinsey Scale. Though it is becoming out of date, it was revolutionary for its time and made the world reconsider the idea of straight and gay, and the wonderful world of sexualities in between, including people who are asexual. They may not want sex at all, or under very specific circumstances!

 

Cisnormativity

Since we live in a colonial, heteronormative culture, the culture is also largely cisnormative, meaning the “default” has always been to assume people are cisgender. It is important for us to consider in which ways we subconsciously enforce cisnormativity, making the world a less inviting place for folks who are not cis.

Some examples include always using the terms “ladies and gentlemen” when addressing a group, or terms like “guys” or “policeman/woman”. Using gender neutral terms for group situations ensures that you have everyone covered with respect. Try using terms like “folks”, “friends”, or for professions that are gendered there are usually alternatives, such as “server” instead of waiter or waitress, or “police officer” instead of policeman or policewoman.

Learning the differences between sex, sexuality and gender have hopefully helped you understand what it means to identify as cisgender, and be a better ally to our nonbinary, trans and two spirit friends.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Gender Conforming

Are You Gender Conforming or Gender Non Conforming? 

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Are You Gender Conforming or Gender Non Conforming? 

 

Gender conforming and gender non conforming are common words utilized in our society today. Read our blog post to learn more about Gender Expression and Gender Non Conforming.

 

What is Gender Conforming?

Gender conforming individuals are people who adhere to “normative” cultural standards surrounding gender expression. 

This would be a woman dressing in feminine attire or what our culture would consider acceptable for a woman (dress, leggings, certain colors, skirt, heels, etc.) or a man dressing in “masculine” attire (pants, athletic gear, a suit, tshirts, etc). 

The majority of our culture is “gender conforming” because that is what is expected and acceptable. 

People, generally, like to feel connected and accepted in our culture so most people will follow or conform to what is “in style” or “appropriate” for their gender.

Gender conforming can also be defined as following the “rules”  to your assigned gender at birth or your natal sex. 

Some would not consider transgender people to be gender conforming, even if they are wearing clothes that match their gender. 

Most of the clients and the majority of individuals in our world are gender conforming. 

What I work on with these clients is challenging these “normative” beliefs in order for them to assess what truly is comfortable for them so that it is a conscious choice rather than an unconscious one. 

So often when we conform, we do not think, we just do without being conscious. 

Whatever your choice is, I want you to realize it is a choice.

 

Gender Non-Conforming or Gender Creative Individuals

Gender non-conforming individuals have gender expression that does not follow the stereotypical “rules” surrounding what is expected in for attire. For example, someone who presents as a woman yet is shopping for herself in the men’s department. 

Additionally, individuals who are gender non-conforming may have a different style completely or may fluctuate between what the culture considers masculine and feminine. Some people may present more neutral or androgenous, whereas others may shift their gender expression based on activity, crowd, emotion, or internal part of them that they are embodying. 

People who are gender creatives may identify with their assigned gender or may identify with other identities such as non-binary, gender queer, gender fluid, gender bending, gender non-conforming, or something else. 

For the clients that I work with who are gender creatives, often have a strong sense of internal identity and also really connect with the spectrum of masculinity and femininity. Others do not connect to either at all. 

 

Gender Conforming, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression are NORMAL!

To be clear, there is nothing clinically problematic or concerning about gender expression or being gender conforming AT ALL. 

The individuals who see licensed clinicians like me and are gender non-confomring yet are seeing me for a completely different reason (and just want an identity-affirming therapist).

As you may imagine, someone who is not conforming to societal norms experiences a lot of unique stressors, and with gender expression being something that you “show” the world – it creates a lot of difficulty due to people’s hate and inability to learn and grow. 

Regardless of how you express your gender, whether you conform or not, at LCAT, we see you and we are here to help provide a safe, comfortable environment for you to explore yourself and learn and grow to be in your best empowered self!

We are here to help at LCAT, we have various therapists who have training and understanding. 

Join us on your healing journey. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Gender Non-Conforming

Gender Non-Conforming or Gender Creative

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Gender Non-Conforming or Gender Creative

 

Gender Non-Conforming or Gender Creative individuals are people whose gender expression does not follow the stereotypical “rules” surrounding what is expected in male or female within our society. 

You may wonder what is gender non-conforming or what does it mean when people are gender creative? 

In our society, we commonly categorize individuals as male or female. 

Therefore, those people who identify themselves as either side of the binary are expected to conform to a particular style and behavior. 

Someone who identifies as female is expected to wear “feminine” clothing such as dresses, leggings, skirts, specific shirts, etc. Females are also assumed to wear makeup, have longer hair, and no facial hair. 

Those who identify themselves as male are expected to wear “masculine” clothing such as sports attire, pants, more solid colors, and usually not bright clothing. These are some of the “rules” that are gender conformity. 

When an individual does not ascribe to these set of rules or engages in shifting gender expressive play (through clothing, makeup, etc), this is breaking gender conformity or the binary. 

Gender non-conforming individuals are those we are focusing on here.

There are a variety of ways people can choose to break gender conformity through the varying ways gender is expressed. 

Some common options are: 

  • Mannerisms
  • Dress and attire
  • Makeup
  • Hair style
  • Accessories 

Individuals who are gender non-conforming or gender creative may have a different style completely or may fluctuate between what the culture considers masculine and feminine. 

Some people who identify as non-conforming may present more neutral or androgenous, while others may shift their gender expression based on activity, crowd, emotion, or internal desire. 

People who are gender non-conforming or gender creative may identify with their assigned gender or may identify with other identities. 

These identities can include, yet are not limited to:

  • Non-binary
  • Gender queer
  • Gender fluid
  • Gender bending
  • Gender non-conforming
  • Or something else. 

The important thing is learning to understand each person’s identity and not making assumptions about those you meet. 

If you are wanting to learn more about someone’s identity, be sure you are doing it for them and their comfort, rather than for your own needs. This is often a good place to start by knowing your intentions. 

You can also seek therapy or reputable sources who can help support you in learning and understanding. 

It is your own responsibility to learn more rather than anyone in the community teaching you. Seek a professional if you need, that specializes in this area of focus. 

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

gender expression

Gender Expression and Gender Identity

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Gender Expression and Gender Identity

 

What is it? 

It is talked about so much now and so often we find people needing more information about gender and its different facets. 

I am writing this as a way to help create some clarity surrounding gender, gender conformity, and gender expression – I hope it helps!

 

What is Gender?

Gender is a social construction that we focus on how we show our gender which stereotypically is man/boy or girl/woman. 

As we have progressed in the understanding of gender, many are able to see that gender is beyond the binary of man and woman. 

Gender is how we express our experience of being male or female regardless of natal (birth) sex. 

Reminder: sex and gender are different.

 

Gender Expression

Gender is something we express to those around us, it is not something we are “born with.” Without gender expression people would not necessarily know our gender because again sex and gender are different. 

Gender expression is how we show our gender through clothing, what we wear, jewelry, make up, art, hair style, colors, etc. Gender is not tied to our genitals or physical body, we are assigned a gender at birth based on our “natal” or birth sex. 

As we age, we learn to express our gender in what feels comfortable for us. Many people are influenced on what society prescribes us to where based on our assigned genders. 

Others express their gender based on what feels most right for them regardless if that is within societies standards of expression of gender or not.

gender expression

 

Gender Conforming

Gender conforming individuals are people who adhere to “normative” cultural standards surrounding gender expression. 

This would be a woman dressing in feminine attire or what our culture would consider acceptable for a woman (dress, leggings, certain colors, etc.) or a man dressing in “masculine” attire (pants, athletic gear, polos, tshirts, etc). 

The majority of our culture is “gender conforming” because that is what is expected and acceptable. 

People, generally, like to feel connected and accepted in our culture so most people will follow or conform to what is “in style” or “appropriate” for their gender.

Gender conforming can also be defined as following the “rules”  to your assigned gender at birth or your natal sex. 

Some would not consider transgender people to be gender conforming, even if they are wearing clothes that match their gender. 

Most of the clients and people in our world are gender conforming. 

What I work on with these clients is challenging these “normative” beliefs in order for them to assess what truly is comfortable for them so that it is a conscious choice rather than an unconscious one. 

So often when we conform, we do not think, we just do without being conscious. Whatever your choice is, I want you to realize it is a choice.

 

Gender Non-Conforming or Gender Creative

Gender Non-Conforming or Gender Creative are people who’s gender expression does not follow the stereotypical “rules” surrounding what is expected in male or female attire. 

Additionally, individuals who are gender creative may have a different style completely or may fluctuate between what the culture considers masculine and feminine. 

Some people may present more neutral or androgenous while others may shift their gender expression based on activity, crowd, emotion, or internal desire. 

People who are gender creatives may identify with their assigned gender or may identify with other identities such as non-binary, gender queer, gender fluid, gender bending, gender non-conforming, or something else. 

For the clients that I work with who are gender creatives, often have a strong sense of internal identity and also really connect with the spectrum of masculinity and femininity. Others do not connect to either at all. 

 

Gender Identity and Gender Expression are NORMAL!

To be clear, there is nothing clinically problematic or concerning about gender expression or identity AT ALL. 

The individuals who see me and are gender non-confomring or creative are either seeing me for a completely different reason (and just want an identity affirming therapist) or are wanting to work through how to manage the difficulties within our society with “non-conforming.” 

As you may imagine, someone who is not conforming to societal norms experiences a lot of unique stressors, and with gender expression being something that you “show” the world – it creates a lot of difficulty due to people’s hate and inability to learn and grow. 

Regardless of how you express your gender, whether you conform or not, at LCAT we see you and we are here to help provide a safe, comfortable environment for you to explore yourself and learn and grow to be in your best empowered self!

We are here to help at LCAT, we have various therapists who have training and understanding in all the A/a’s. Please join us on your healing journey!

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Pride Month

Happy Pride! – June is LGBTQIA2+ Pride Month

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Happy Pride! – June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month

 

June is pride month – happy pride. 

This pride month is different from other prides in the past. This Pride month is during a pandemic and the mass realization of racial oppression within our culture. This year, I am writing a very different Pride message than I would have expected.

Pride will not be massive parades with rainbows everywhere. In the age of social distancing we must find new ways to celebrate our identities. Perhaps we should consider fighting for our black voices and black folks who are a vital piece of our community.

Pride Month

As a community, the LGBTQIA2+ community intersects all races, religions, abilities, relationship types, etc. As a community we know what it has been like to be oppressed or discriminated against.  If it were not for the black community so of the pivotal points in our history would not have happened. Because of black trans women’s bravery, we were able to work towards the progress we have made today. Obviously, there continues to be bigotry out there, and right now I am noticing the massive level of harm being perpetrated against the black community.

I hope that we are able to stand up for and with the black community as our culture finally begins to awaken to the massive systemic racism that is occurring against the black community. This racism is not new. This racism is hundreds of years old and only now are we “seeing.” We must continue to see and lend voices when appropriate and elevate voices that are important. The system has to change.

Instead of marching only in pride parades, I would suggest marching and rallying with the black community to show black lives matter. The LGBTQIA2+ community is standing with you. Allow our rainbows and energy be brought to a community that is being killed. A community that without their contribution within our community, we would not be as far. 

I love how this community intersects all communities and there are certainly times that we forget that and prioritize white voices in the queer community. Now is time for us to examine our own racism, our own system, our own community – so we can do better because when we know better, we need to do better.

For pride 2020, I stand in solidarity with the black community to support and elevate their voices and their stories. Here at Life Coaching and Therapy, LLC we stand with the black community. We will continue to provide a safe space for the black community and activists alike to share their story and address their experiences during this time. We will continue to learn, we will continue to listen, we will continue to stand with you. We stand with you. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Cis Het

What Does Cis Het Mean?

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What Does Cis Het Mean?

 

Have you heard the term “cis het”?

In our society, there are a lot of terms being shared. One of the most popular ones right now is “cis-het.” 

Often, I am asked what this term “cis het” means or find myself hearing this term often in sessions. 

 

“Cis”

Cisgender or more commonly referred to as “cis”  is a term that references someones gender identity. 

Cisgender refers to someone whos natal (birth) sex is congruent with gender identity/presentation (ie someone born female and identifies as a woman or someone born male and identifies as male.)

When someone says you are “cis” it means that your biological sex and gender you identify correspond. 

 

“Het”

Heterosexual or “het” is a term that references someones sexual identity. Someone who is heterosexual is sexually interested to the “other” sex or gender (if we are looking at gender as a binary). Heterosexual relationships are other sex relationships (male/female pairings). 

 

“Cis” + “Het”= CISHET

The combination of cisgender and heterosexual is what is now commonly known as “cishet.” 

This refers to the majority of the population who’s birth or natal sex are congruent with thei gender identity and presentation and are sexually and romantically interested in the other sex. 

Basically, a straight person who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.

People who are categorized as “cishet” are typically seen within the “norm” of society (which is typically referred to as “heteronormativity”). 

Recently, there have been memes depicting “cishet woman” that are caucasian or white with stereotypical, middle-aged, white woman names such as “Karen” or “Susan” or “Carol.” 

This has stimulated a debate among various groups of people. 

Being a “Karen” seems to imply a lack of social awareness and/or privilege. 

Although I am not a proponent of name calling, I will be calling on people who are white, cisgender, and heterosexual human to recognize their privilege. 

I challenge you to see your privilege and use it to elevate those who are not. 

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.