Dating Coaching

Five Love Making Tips

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Five Love Making Tips

 

Ready for some of the best love making tips around? 

Although there is no magic recipe for sex and no perfect sex guide to follow, we are always curious about how to make things better.

When you aren’t satisfied with the sex you are having or you feel that the flame slowly dying, it does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with you or the relationship. 

When you aren’t satisfied with the sex you are having or you feel the flame slowly dying, don’t worry. 

It does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with you or the relationship. 

We often need love making tips, because couples run out of ideas, energy and time or spontaneity and adventure.  

It is time to do some experimenting!

Below are My Top Five Love Making Tips for All Adults!

 

Tip One: Know that you deserve to have your sexual desires fulfilled

Society’s message is that sex is shameful, not acceptable, or that it is for practical purposes – like procreation – having children! 

If you feel ashamed about your sexual desires, it is hard to be honest with your partner about it.

Remind yourself that you are allowed to experience and enjoy pleasure. 

You were born a sexual being and you have a right to feel confident about expressing that sexuality. You have a sexual power that attracts others. Own it!

 

Tip Two: Have confidence in your body

You have the potential to be your worst critic or your greatest supporter. 

In order to really accept that you are worthy of appreciation and love, you need to be body positive! 

If someone tells you that they love your legs or your lips, do you believe them? 

The goal is to feel comfortable when looking at your body, not necessarily liking every single part.

Give yourself body affirmations often. 

Compliment yourself as you walk past a mirror.

Pamper yourself. 

Choose a part of you that you like and repeat a positive affirmation about it. 

Avoid talking negatively about yourself in front of other people. 

Accept other people’s compliments. 

Would you throw away someone’s gift in front of them? Probably not. 

You say thank you. 

 

making love tips

Tip Three: Know that building intimacy doesn’t require an orgasm

Does every SUCCESSFUL sexual encounter have to end with an orgasm? 

No! Don’t think you are less if you don’t help your partner to achieve an orgasm. 

Each individual’s orgasm is their own privilege to have. 

That’s right, it is not your responsibility to give your partner an orgasm.

Orgasms happen when conditions are right, and your partner has to tell you those conditions in order for you to fulfill it.

An orgasm doesn’t need to be the only goal. Intimacy is an excellent goal. You can build intimacy in manyways such as taking baths with one another, foot massages, having meaningful conversations, tantra positions, and eye gazing.

 

TIP Four: Don’t compare yourself

Comparing ourselves with other people is inevitable. We all do it, but it makes things worse.

People do it with material possessions and even with our sexuality. 

We compare our bodies with bodies we see on the screen.

We compare the size, we compare our sexual performance, we even compare how we enjoy sex.

Don’t do it! It is one of the most harmful things we can do to ourselves.

Tip Five: Nervousness inhibits arousal

So, sexual anxiety can lead to not getting it up or keeping it up, or not being wet or having genital pain, but how? 

Well you have your parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems, which work opposite from each other in your body. 

When you’re experiencing emotions like fear, anxiety, or shame, your brain tells your body to release the adrenaline hormone. 

This causes blood to flow AWAY from the genitals and, thus, no arousal. 

However, when you’re relaxed and sexually aroused, your parasympathetic system kicks in to bring blood to the genitals, which enables lubrication and erection. 

If sexual anxiety is a problem, work with your physiology in order to overcome this.

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

PORNOSEXUAL

Is Porn Cheating?

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Is Porn Cheating?

 

Ask yourself this question: Is porn cheating? This is one of the most common questions I hear as a certified sex therapist. 

The answer is – it depends! 

To me…lying is cheating. An omission of truth is a lie. So, for me personally and professionally, porn is cheating if it is something that is being hidden in the couple. 

When it comes to protecting your relationship against infidelity, communication is key. 

You need to have conversations about what it means to cheat with your partner. 

Be prepared to ask:  

  • Is talking to an ex cheating? 
  • Is visiting a strip club or dancing with someone else cheating? 
  • Is sexting someone else cheating? 

In my experience, and in many of my clients experiences, when conversations are NOT had and truth is withheld…it becomes sneaky and thus becomes lying.

If watching porn isn’t a big deal to you, but it is to your partner, consider his/her boundary before continuing the relationship. 

You may think it is just a little secret to watch porn. Something for YOU! 

I agree. AND, I also know that what my partner defines as cheating is important to me.

If you are open about it with your partner and you can discuss it – that’s not cheating. 

 

That’s called effective communication. YAY! 

 

Pornography is a means to get into an altered state of reality. It is a product created to entertain us, and I believe it should be treated as such. 

Some couples do not consider watching porn cheating and they actually encourage their partner to use porn to get new ideas to bring into the bedroom. 

Is Porn Cheating?

However, there is a limit like everything in life. 

When the hobby becomes something else and it changes your reality. Do you find yourself using porn and not leaning into your sexual relationship with your partner? 

For some, this is an issue, and for others, it really is not! 

Using porn to replace sex in real life is like using a drug for some people, because it reduces their desire to be intimate or have any deep personal connection.. 

If pornography is used long enough (YES – I have seen this happen numerous times), it may become the only way a person can get aroused and have an orgasm to meet their sexual need.

When this happens, we can say that person has gradually become a pornosexual.

 

What is a Pornosexual?

This is a relatively new term. It refers to people who tend to love watching porn more than having sex with someone in person. 

Basically, being pornosexual means finding more pleasure when it comes to watching porn and intimacy alone than with partnered sex and touch. 

I have seen this type of behavior cause problems with intimacy, and in turn can cause problems in a marriage.

Pornosexuals experience all of their sexual pleasure in isolation instead of shared. Sometimes, I have heard clients who identify as pornosexuals also say they have a fear of intimacy.

Since they can get sexual pleasure online, without the effort of intimacy or connection, they are fulfilled. 

If a pornosexual starts dating someone who wants an in-person sexual relationship, and omits his/her porn behavior, then porn again can become cheating. 

 

So…is porn cheating?

 

Watching porn can be great and even fun if you view it as a movie, and if everyone in the relationship is okay with it. 

 

Get your guide to connect more today

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

BDSM for Beginners

BDSM for Beginners

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BDSM for Beginners

Most people have a taboo kink or two, but have no idea how to bring those fantasies into reality, which is why this post is about BDSM for beginners.

Sex starts between your ears in your largest and most important sex organ – your brain!

You should understand BDSM before you start. First of all BDSM stands for Bondage & Disciple, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism.

Kinky sex can be defined many different ways, but for most experienced adults, we are usually talking about something that is either taboo in your culture, peer group or family, or is fetishistic. Sometimes it’s both!

So an excellent place to start is to ask yourself the question.

What exactly do I want?

 

BDSM for Beginners – Cheat Code One!

 

If you have no idea, your first cheat code is to think about the things that you fantasize about when you masturbate.

If you think about the same specific thing every time, you have a fetish or a paraphilia! Feet, hair, shoes, lactation, blood, bondage, incest are all common examples of this type of kink, but it really can be anything.

And fetishes are so weird that it’s weird if they aren’t weird, so don’t fall into the “shame trap” if you have a fetish. Somewhere in the world, there is someone that shares your fetish and there is probably porn about it.

If you find that your kinky fantasies are less specific and more along the lines of “something naughty with someone hot” than you are more likely looking for taboo sex or experimental sex.

This is less about a specific “object” and more about a general dynamic or curiosity. Some common general dynamics are power exchange scenarios, kidnapping fantasies, School teacher fantasies, Pirate fantasies, Cowboys, firemen, damsels in distress, threesomes, body fluids, anything that you think is hot because you aren’t supposed to is taboo.

It all sounds interesting to you and you are super curious to try all the things out!
You are motivated by adventure and may also be adrenaline junkies in other areas of life.

Ask yourself what your fantasies are, then try to sort whether you are looking for a specific fetish, or if you are seeking a particular dynamic for naughty “Taboo Sex” or if you are just seeking experiments for novelties sake.

 

BDSM for Beginners

BDSM for Beginners – Cheat Code Two!

Identify your most likely source!

 

Be careful not to remove others humanity in this step! People are more likely to get kinky with you, if you treat them like humans not objects.

Are you currently in a committed relationship? If so, then prudent honesty is your best bet. Easy peasy!

Be aware that sexual revulsion is real and it isn’t a bad idea to test your partner for revulsion before you attach any expectation toward a specific kink from them.

And I don’t mean just stick your finger in their ass and see if they kick you for it… I mean something more like observe them carefully when something that you find hot comes up naturally.

For instance, if you are into feet, find out if they get pedicures, if they do, they don’t freak out when someone touches their feet, so you have a pretty good idea that they aren’t automatically revulsed.

Mentally review their life story and sexual history for areas of sensitivity.

Give them an opportunity to talk about it without suggesting that you have a detention fantasy.

How did they feel about the Pirates of the Caribbean movies?
Or Grey’s Anatomy?
Or Game of Thrones?
Or Fifty Shades?
Bear in mind that you may find new incompatibilities this way and that is depressing and will sometimes force a decision.

If you are not in a relationship, Google is your friend!
There are special interest groups all over the country for all manner of kinks and many of them even have a national level convention.

 

There is a Con for EVERYTHING (almost)!

 

My advice is to go to them for education first and find out what the norms and protocols around your particular kink is before you just dive in with a stranger.

Sites like Fetlife can be very helpful with this.

Also, be aware that friends with common interests are a great thing, even it it doesn’t end in a mutually satisfying outcome, so don’t be afraid to mingle!

Now that you have identified your most likely source, COMMUNICATE!

 

Communication

 

Prudence is your friend, but shame is your enemy.

If you already know what your kinky sex wish is, STOP and say it out loud!

ACTUALLY PAUSE! And voice it to the screen.

If you did it, AWESOME!

Now you just gotta tell the person that really matters: your partner or potential partners!

 

After you have decided that, tell them what you want!
HERE IS THE BEST CHEAT CODE EVER for BDSM for Beginners!

 

Work from general to specific, listen as much as you talk, and be willing to barter! Here is a simple sample to help, feel free to use it as a template.

(indicate that you are interested in them in a sexually exploratory way, yet don’t offer full vulnerability right from the beginning. Give them a chance to buy in and meet you halfway)

-I have been having a little fantasy lately…

-Oh really?

-Yes, It kinda feels like maybe I’m picking up on a vibe between us and I wonder if you feel something similar.

(If they are encouraging ask for a buy in)

-I’ll tell you, but you have to tell me your fantasy first…

(LISTEN CAREFULLY TO THEM WHEN THEY TELL AND HONESTLY CONSIDER. Then, you can tell them your fantasy).

Don’t give them feedback on their fantasy until you tell them yours and you both have skin in the game.

Pick a follow up plan and get them to agree to it.

Now you have a roadmap to follow!

I just have one closing thought to share before I let you go manifest your sexy dreams…

A note on fantasies.

Some fantasies can’t be ethically practiced in the real world and must be left to fantasy. This is particularly true of a lot of taboo fantasies. In these cases, role playing can be your friend!

Take some time in the shared fantasy stage with your partner before you try to make it a reality.

Enjoy the journey!

If you want to learn more about BDSM and Kink, please comment below!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!
Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Cowgirl sex position

Cowgirl Sex Position

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COWGIRL SEX POSITION

 

The Cowgirl sex position is pretty simple, yet incredibly vulnerable. 

 

“What’s your favorite position?”

“Doggie Style.”

“Eh… what about girl on top?” 

“The Cowgirl Sex Position?”

“Yeah! That’s my ABSOLUTE favorite!” 

 

It’s about the woman taking control of the speed, depth, and angle of penetration, which enables her to own her pleasure. 

 

The cowgirl sex position can be an incredibly intimate position, which allows for eye contact between partners if they choose. 

 

It doesn’t matter if you are having sex with another woman, man, or a person who identifies as a different gender. After all, whoever you are having sex with will get an unobstructed view of the woman riding during the cowgirl sex position. 

 

With the receiving partner on his (or her or their) back, the woman sits on top of the partner’s pelvis, resting her knees on the surface of the bed, and arranging her thighs on the hips of her partner.

cowgirl sex position

Illustration from Badgirlsbible

 

The woman on top will have her hands free to use in many pleasurable ways! HOW? 

 

Well, to self-stimulate the external clitoris, breasts, or use a sex toy if needed.

 

 

A woman can also grab her partner behind neck to kiss that partner while doing some penetration movements.

 

 

Here are Some Tips on the Cowgirl Sex Position for the Partner:

  • This position is often stated to be one of the preferred positions of women, so if you want a night of perfect sex, ask her if this is something she wants 
  • Grabbing, holding or squeezing her butt can be a key move. Also, incorporating some spanking will raise the excitement level..
  • If you have been given consent, and want to explore further, you can go underneath the buttocks, with lubricated fingers, and caress these areas.. Make sure not to mix fingers that go to the anus with those that go to the vagina.
  • Feel free to move your hand up towards her neck. Ask her what she thinks about this posture of just resting your hand around her throat lightly. Do not put pressure on the trachea (the middle of the neck), because with around 8 lbs of pressure, you can do a lot of damage. I was interviewed for an article on Erotic Choking in Playboy by Bridget Phetasy – read it to learn more.

 

Women, Keep in Mind:

  • Be sure you are fully lubricated before starting this position.
  • Never start too quickly, rough, or with too much deep. If you are a beginner in sex, this position is good as long as it is done slowly.  Doing it slowly and building up trust with your partner is the key to success. 
  • Combine your first movements with caresses or kisses. 
  • Plan to do self stimulating with your free hand.
  • The penetrative movements on top can be done in a few ways. The most common:
    • Thrusting from top to bottom. For beginners, move in a circular motion, opening your legs to achieve more penetration and ease for you.Feel free to do combined movements: some slower, some faster.If you want to contract the vagina naturally, lean back. The penis will touch the G-Spot area perfectly.  Never lean too far back, because you can cause a strong pain at the base of the man’s penis or you can slide off of your partner’s genitals or strap on. 
  • This position is not only perfect in bed, it works great on the couch or the floor. If it is on the floor, please put something under your knees so you don’t hurt yourself. 
  • If you like anal sex, this position is ideal to continue to work on. This level of control is what makes it perfect for newcomers – no matter their gender – when it comes to anal pleasures.

.

How? Have your partner sit with his/her/their back against the headboard so you are both face to face with each other. Your partner can then lend some support by cupping your bottom in their hands as you grip the headboard.

The best thing my clients report to me about this position is that the woman has freedom and control of movement and action. 

 

Being a sex terapist, I have heard women state that having the ability to direct the speed and intensity of the sexual scene leads to more sexual satisfaction for them. 

 

What about for you? Do you have any reasons why the cowgirl sex position is your favorite? 

 

Or… are you scared to try it? 

 

Don’t worry. We can help! 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

 

Surviving Infidelity

Surviving Infidelity: How To Reboot Your Relationship

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Surviving Infidelity: How To Reboot Your Relationship

Have you been surviving infidelity? 

Have you ever been cheated on? 

Or have you been a home-wrecker? 

Adultery – as with other supplements and shopping sprees and pleasure quests – is at least a reliable way of proving to ourselves that we’re not in the ground quite yet, especially when feeling a little dead inside. Or at least until a better solution comes along. – Laura Kipnis

For those who are surviving infidelity, I commend you! This is SO challenging.

I personally have been fascinated and curious about affairs my entire life. From age 19, I began reading every single book and article I could get my hands on. 

WHY do people cheat? What is this devastation that lingers in the heart after you find out your partner is unfaithful? 

If you are surviving infidelity, you know that incredibly intense feeling you have that your world is falling apart and you will die of heartbreak. 

When you discover that your partner was unfaithful and has been having an affair, the world you once knew starts to become questionable. 

In a flood of angry, sad, and fearful emotions, not even the most prepared person is able to manage the emotional, mental and physician damage when this type of secret is revealed or found out. 

It is possible to overcome infidelity!

Infidelity affects a critical  part of a couple’s relationship – the breaking of trust and intimate connection. It is not surprising that it ends up being one of the three most common reasons why couples come to see us for therapy in the first place! 

Questioning why infidelity happened?

Coupledom isn’t always simple. Although we love to pair-bond as a species, the truth is that cohabitation, extended family dynamics, financial stressors, the monotony of the weekly routine, and raising children (or pets or neither) makes it an incredibly complex and intertwined reality.

Behind most cases of infidelity, there are usually other aspects of the relationship that have caused a huge gap between you as partners… a gap in which the infidelity may have been consummated.

Surviving infidelity

How long will it take you to overcome the pain of infidelity?

The most honest answer I can offer you is… it all depends. The most important thing is that you do not have a deadline for your healing.

Overcoming infidelity and improving your relationship is possible, and I have seen at least a hundred couples do it. Sometimes it takes four months, sometimes longer! You are NOT obligated to do this alone though. This would be between you and your partner. 

It will not be easy, but ensuring that you are both on the same team is crucial! 

For some couples, coming into therapy can be the difference between staying together or divorcing.

Things You Need To Do:

Take it Easy – Don’t Rush Thing

After finding out that your partner has been unfaithful, there is usually a mix of anger, fear, and pain that manifests itself within the partner who has been betrayed. 

You have to create someplace that is a “safe place” where you can go alone to take breaks if you need to from the emotional intensity. 

Sometimes, this is in your bed, sometimes a separate room, and sometimes for me, it has been in the closet surrounded by “stuff” because it makes me feel contained. 

Talk To Your Partner About Surviving Infidelity

If you want to stay in the relationship, you must talk to your partner about the infidelity – no matter how difficult it may seem. 

If you think you have questions and you need certainty (to ask why, how often, with whom, where, etc), reach out to your partner about the questions. 

Let them have time to think on it. Just because YOU want them to tell you NOW doesn’t mean you are allowed to force them to answer. I KNOW… that may sound challenging. 

However, it is the way to face what happened and to try to overcome it, as a couple. It is important to show your partner that you still are respecting their boundaries, even though trust was broken. 

Try To Trust

Yes, some people say that this sounds impossible, yet if you have decided that you want to continue with the relationship, you need to work on trusting in small steps. Trusting with work, or chores, or date night. If you want, sit down and talk about how both of you can assure this situation is not going to happen again.

Do Not Live In Fear

It is possible that the unfaithful person is afraid that his or her or their partner will get revenge. However, not all relationships work this way. Not everyone retaliates to get even. In fact, if the other person loves you, they will end up forgiving you.

A Special Note of Divorce – from what I have witnessed as a therapist, many women, especially those who don’t work, and those that have kids, are very afraid of getting a divorce. 

They are concerned about what happens to them, their kids, and their home. Find out from a lawyer instead of living in fear. Ask the questions and get the information. 

The truth sets us free!

Regain Sexual Passion

Sometimes, infidelities occur because the relationship fell into the routine or there is not enough passion. Try to rekindle the passion as well as the trust. Seek out sex therapy if you have no idea where to start! 

Couples Therapy

Couples therapy can be an important part of the healing process. Many couples therapists see infidelities and know how to best handle them. Although surviving infidelity is complicated, couples therapists know the patterns to get you to a place of healing. 

Surviving infidelity

Start a New Relationship 

Understand that forgiveness is not synonymous with surviving infidelity and continuing on as if nothing had happened. Nor is it the same as ignoring it and following the path that led you to this place within the relationship. 

The main part of surviving infidelity is the willingness to START A NEW RELATIONSHIP. 

Your old marriage is over… you get to both consent to wanting a new one! 

You must find real reasons to convince your partner and yourself that there are still emotional building-blocks of trust needed to rebuild your relationship, and ultimately, forgive the infidelity.

If you want to hold onto anger at your partner, just know that as a couples therapist, I would not want you to continue to berate the other person due to what has happened. 

Sooner or later, this pattern of not-forgiving will end up causing a huge conflict that will end the relationship. 

If your partner is willing to rebuild trust and end the affair, then it is up to you to decide if you want to continue in the relationship. 

If you want to learn more about surviving infidelity, please comment below!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Plus Size Sex

Plus Size Sex

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PLUS SIZE SEX

 

For those of you who are considered “plus size” or those of you who have sex with people who are considered overweight, it is time to have the BEST PLUS SIZE SEX EVER.

Common Themes:

  • “I am plus size, should I be on top when I have sex? I do not want to break my girlfriend”
  • “I’m embarrassed to be on top, because my partner can see all my rolls and jiggles.”
  • “I am plus size and I want to take things to another level with my partner. What positions might work for us for penetrative sex? 

Plus Size SexIf this sounds like you or your partner, I have the plus size sex answers you have been waiting for! Believe it or not peoplehave sex no matter what their size! Ranging from masturbation, to partnered sex, to kinks, different body types have sex all the time. 

Self-consciousness can be deep within you and it feels insurmountable. I understand that you might feel shy about your body in front of your partner, especially if you’re feeling insecure.

Your jiggly hips, soft bellies, full chests, and dimpled thighs are all a part of you, and they are beautiful and perceived as VERY sexy. 

All individuals deserve the sex life they want!

While unleashing your body, try to remember that the person showing up in the bedroom vulnerably with you knows what you look like if they are going to have sex with you.

The fact is that confidence comes from radical acceptance of who you are. 

Plus Size Sex

Another fun fact is that the more you do something (for example, show yourself nude to a partner), the easier that THING becomes, AND the more CONFIDENT you become about it.

Love yourself like no other, AND love your body like no one else can. You DO NOT need anyone’s permission to do so. With confidence, you can attract whoever you are attracted to. Confidence is sexy.

It is key to talk to your partner about what sex you want to try. Do whatever position it is that you need to do to get your “rocks” off.

If you are worried about getting on top or sitting on your partner’s face, ask him/her/them. If they/he/she says yes and you want to, JUST DO IT! You will not suffocate your partner to death!

Your plus size sex has the best chance of being AMAZING if you keep an open conversation and talk to your partner about it.

 

Sexy Time

Whether you’re plus size, your partner is, or you both are, these are penetrative plus size sex positions you will love to try:

  • Reverse Cowgirl – booty is in! 
  • Doggy Style –  this is an oldie, but a goodie! Especially for receiving partners that want a harder sensation. 
  • The Pretzel – this is more of a sensual sex position than a wild one. Receiver is in a spooning position on their side and the penetrative partner (man or the one with a phallus) is on top, like in missionary. The person penetrating can get into the body at the best angle this way and the receiver can use a sex toy if they want on their other genitals.  
  • Edge of The Bed – try one person laying on the edge of the bed to receive penetration while the giver is STANDING and thrusting.
  • The Elevated Starfish – this is a variation of missionary, but with accommodations that can make it more exciting. Legs open, legs closed, knees bent and tucked up. 

If these positions don’t work, no problem! 

Not only did I work as the sex therapist for those with binge eating disorders at an eating disorder facility, but I myself have ranged in weight from average size to plus-size. 

Non-Penetrative Plus Size Sex Tips You Are Going To Love:

Masturbate

  • Learn about your pleasure and erroneous zones.
  • Experiment with your body and your orgasms! 

 

Someone Who You Feel Safe With

Find someone you can “lose the shame” with. If you are with someone who shames you for your body, please do not stay with this partner.. You’re beautiful!

  • Someone else is dying to appreciate you – I promise! You don’t need to waste your time on someone that doesn’t make you feel special for who you are.
  • Consider having a sexual relationship with someone you could keep the lights on with during sex. 

 

Use Toys

  • The choices are endless from vibrations to sensations! Move away from penetrative sex and get in the habit of making the entire body the sexual region instead of focusing on just penetrative sex, which is incredibly limiting. 

 

Buy Sexy Clothes For Yourself 

  • While finding lingerie in stores is IMPOSSIBLE (in my experience it was), plenty of online retailers make gorgeous plus size lingerie. 
  • My personal favorite is to get a costume to spice things up! NOTE: the one size fits all (in the plus-size category) used to work best for me because the material is stretchy, and that made me feel like it hugged more appropriately.

 

Put Your Comfort First 

  • Don’t go out of your way to satisfy another partner orally (eating out or giving blowjobs) while kneeling if it’s too hard on your knees. 
  • Don’t feel like you have to have shower sex if you feel you are stuffed in there too tightly. Feeling claustrophobic during shower sex (yes this happens) is much worse. 
  • Share your desires with your partner, and ask questions to find out what feels good to him/her. Lie down to give oral sex if needed. 

 

Thigh Chafing

  • If you find your thighs chafing during sex, put a dab of lotion or uberlube that neither you or your partner are allergic to on the inside of your thighs. NOT on your genitals yet.
  • This will make your skin super soft, and prevent rashes, and irritation..
  • Also, for those who like lingerie, you can buy amazing lingerie thigh garters for chafing. If those don’t work for you, cotton shorts under clothing help. 

 

Stay Hydrated

  • Don’t be afraid to take breaks during sexual activity. 
  • Sex can be hard work and it’s important to hydrate yourself. 
  • Do not push yourself past your limits, because it will affect the entire body later! 

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

body image and social media

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Polyamory

Polyamory – THE #1 DIVORCE ALTERNATIVE

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 Polyamory –THE #1 DIVORCE ALTERNATIVE 

2 out of 3 Millennials choose this alternative rather than divorcing. 

polyamory

If you aren’t in the queer, non-heteronormative communities, you may not even know what I am talking about. 

Polyamory is the new norm. Polyamory is the practice of loving multiple people – intimately and sometimes sexually. 

Why go through a divorce when you can just be honest about desiring an open sexual and romantic relationship? 

“Is swinging becoming a thing again?” asks one of my Baby Boomer clients after reading something on Facebook.

“Swinging never really went anywhere. However, they have added love. It’s called polyamory.” I respond. 

Swinging HAS been and will always be a thing. What is new is the amount of people who want to try polyamory as the newest form of relationship. 

Have you thought about OPENING up your relationship? 

What the hell is polyamory or non-monogamy? 

polyamory

Non-monogamy or open relationships are broad terms for sexual and romantic relationship styles ranging from SWINGING to POLYAMORY to KINK PLAY PARTNERS to MONOGAMISH!

Confused yet? I was too at first! 

Millennials appear to be opening the door to open relationships instead of just having one-night stands or fun with a partner on the weekend. 

From what I have heard, people state it is more of an intersectional feminist approach where everyone gets to build relationships and their IDENTITY on their own terms. 

Monogamy and polyamory are both relationship strategies. I know it may seem weird, but it is true. 

One is not superior to the other. It is a matter of choice and personal preference.

 

Are you scared of your partner asking you for polyamory? Well, you can suggest different forms of open relationship! 

  • Monogamish is a long-term committed relationship that bend the rules of monogamy with the consent of both parties. It can include dancing or kissing others. 
  • Open relationships means that you are in an open sexual and / or romantic relationship with more than one person.
  • Polyamory is the practice of loving more than one person at a time. Like… one time, I was married and had a boyfriend all at once. Those relationships are all over. But it was a part of me and a way of life for a long time! 

Successful polyamorous individuals establish guidelines about what is and is not cheating, and frequently have safer-sex conversations.

  • Non-monogamy means that people have sexual relationships other than their one partner. MAKE SURE YOU NOTE THAT THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE! 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

 

porn addiction recovery

Is Porn An Addiction?

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Is Porn An Addiction?

 

“Psst… he has porn addiction.” She whispered.

“Did you hear they got divorced due to a porn addiction?” He gossiped. 

“Addiction” to porn has not been proven yet, but there are people who have reported to me the compulsions that porn has given them in their lives. 

Pornography is defined as “any sexually explicit material that is intended to, or is used as, a sexual outlet.” (The Porn Trap, 2008).

Porn use is individualized. We cannot lump it into one category, even though it would be easier!

I know people who literally have skipped out on dates, their job, and family functions due to their desire to masturbate and self-pleasure as a coping skill. 

Not everyone has a “porn addiction” or compulsive porn use though. Honestly, the AASECT Sex Therapy board doesn’t even believe there is enough evidence to prove that it exists! 

Fun fact… some pornography sometimes can awaken desire and paint fantasies in the psyche. 

My Quick Tips For Using Pornography while self-pleasuring: 

  • Still photos are always better.
  • It is better to read erotica than watch it. 
  • If you can, mute the sound.
  • It is better to see a GIF than it is a movie. 

Why do people say they have porn addiction though? 

Self-diagnosis of porn addiction usually comes when people say they are escape into fantasies rather than dealing with their realities. 

People believe “porn addiction” is real because it is similar to other addictions:

  • Immediate reward – masturbation leads to orgasm. 
  • It can be repeated as many times as you want. It is mostly free and private.
  • You start with a small dose. By seeing light scenes, enough for the stimulation and the release of dopamine. Some people will say that they travel down the path of kinkier scenes because they need greater stimulus and more “raw” footage. Others DO NOT report this. It really seems that this depends on a person’s sexual appetites. 

Is there such a thing as porn addiction?

Not yet. Researchers all over are debating if excessive use of pornography is considered a porn addiction in the scientific sense of the word.

However, many people come to therapy due to their fears and sexual dysfunctions that they believe are caused by porn use. 

“Pornography…really, really messed up my life in a lot of ways,” Crew said. “I believed that I was more valuable than my wife as a human being because I was a man. And when you believe that you are more valuable than another person, you kind of feel like they owe you. And I was wrong.” -Terry Crew.

I have seen pornography ruin marriages, families, and people’s careers. I have had clients that have been caught and the shame causes a rippling effect into their home. 

 

So… what can you do?! 

  • 12-Step Programs 

A community of others who are struggling with a similar experience and come together just to get over this particular issue. 

  • Individual Therapy

Individual therapy with a qualified mental health professional usually consists of 45-60 minute sessions, focusing on the behaviors related to the “porn addiction.”

CBT often focus on negative thoughts about oneself and the world to change these into more positive and less-intrusive thoughts.

Couples counseling can be important for partners when one, or both, feel porn and masturbation are being used in unhealthy ways.

This type of counseling focuses on both resolving individual behaviors, improving communication, and bridging the barriers between the two partners when it comes to sexual functioning and conversation. 

If you feel you have a porn addiction and can’t stop “using,” consider contacting a mental health professional experienced in treating compulsions and sexual dysfunction.

A trained therapist can help you overcome unhealthy behaviors and improve your quality of life TODAY! 

 

Get your guide to connect more today

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Relationship Therapy Life Coaching West Hartford

Relationship Therapy

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Relationship Therapy

 

How is your current relationship going?

Does it need a tune-up?

Do you feel more like roommates than partners?

 

Relationship therapy can help spark a fire!

Some of you may think “what? We haven’t even been together a year! Why would we do that?” Well… for you newbies in NRE (New Relationship Energy), it’s good to set up a foundation of trust.

For those in long-term relationships, what patterns are you stuck in? Distancer / pursuer? High desire / low desire?

You may consider relationship therapy as a way to improve your communication and to call out patterns that lead to chaos.

If you are on the verge of divorce, instead of calling a lawyer, you can utilize relationship therapy to address your concerns regarding:

  • Pleasure and intimacy
  • Emotions and feelings
  • Communication patterns

Relationship therapy can be an effective resource for adults of any age, relationship style, gender, or sexual orientation.

Unfortunately, it is a FACT that most relationships fail.

Do you want yours to be one of them?

Experience relationship therapy in an environment that values sex positivity – an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.

Many therapists are NEVER trained in sex-positivity so you don’t get the help you need with them.

We have seen it all! If you feel like you can’t find ANYONE that gets it… relationship therapy with L-CAT may be the solution for you.

Bring us your stories around surrounding monogamy, tantra, sex and cancer, polyamory, swinging, bisexuality, intersex, sex and trauma, fetishes and kinks, gay and lesbian relationships, gender identity, transgender relationships, power dynamics, and those that are genderqueer and questioning.

We want you to THRIVE – no matter what!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Toys

Sex Toys – When Vanilla Just Isn’t Enough

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SEX TOYS

 

Do you remember the first time you heard about a sex toy? Or even better… you bought one!

Sex toys usually enable a quicker  orgasm and thus, clients always ask me about them. As a former  consultant in the sex toy industry, I have a lot of knowledge about these products. 

Below is a summary of the main types of sex toys and how to use them.

 

Bullets: sex toys

The job of the bullet is to add increased pleasure on the clitoris. If you have never bought a sex toy before, this is a great place to start. 

  • It packs a lot of power into one condensed spot and jolts the nerve endings in the clitoris. 
  • Adding a bullet to masturbation and intercourse can greatly increase the intensity and amount of orgasms that you experience. 

 

Warning: Please note that bullets are external toys and not to be used inside the vagina.

 

G-spot toys: sex toys

G-spot toys are made for inside the vagina. They usually have a curve in them that angles upward to stimulate the area  known as the G-Spot. 

Some women experience additional pleasure with this type of toy because they can turn it and stimulate the wall of the vagina that they feel is the most sensitive.

Any more tips on finding your G-Spot with a sex toy?

Some couples may just run these up and down the body as a part of massage.

 

Dual-action vibrators: sex toys

The famous “rabbit” is a dual-action vibrator. It has one spot that is designated to stimulate the clitoris and a shaft that is made to fill the vagina. 

If you have never masturbated with a sex toy before or never had an orgasm, I would not recommend this type as a first sex toy. 

Make ake sure you can control each part of the toy separately. It’s no fun without the ability to calibrate each of them. 

.

 

Dildos:

A hard shaft, best when made of silicone, glass, or other solid material, gives the feeling of fullness inside orifices. 

 

Many people use dildos accompanied by hands, fingers, and/or a bullet on another erogenous zone. 

 

 

Butt Plugs:sex toys

Butt plugs are made of a variety of materials, the most common being latex. Other materials used include silicone, neoprene, wood, metal, glass, stone, and many other materials. Silicone is a particularly good material, as it can be disinfected in boiling water.

These add pleasure to the erogenous zone of the anus. The feeling of fullness often adds an added sensation alone or in use with other toys!

 

Cock Rings:sex toys

The purpose of a cock ring is to trap blood inside the penis in order to maintain an erection, or encourage a stronger erection. In order to do this it must be placed at the base of the penis.

A ring made of stretchy material is simply stretched over the penis (and optionally also the scrotum, except when used with a pump for impotence) and situated against the body. Rigid rings are used differently: first each testicle is fed through the ring and the entire scrotum is pulled through, then the flaccid penis is pushed through the ring and situated against the body.

 

 

Sex Toys  – Introducing Them to Your Partner

Incorporating sex toys with your partner can be intimidating! I SO get it!

However, once you bring it up, excitement grows and new types of pleasure are possible. 

You can explain to your partner that this adds additional stimulation that your body desires. 

Most sex toys with vibration come with a remote so you can choose the levels of pleasure and make it even more sensational. 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

sex counseling

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

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What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

 

So you heard someone mention a sex therapist, but… what does a sex therapist do?

First – a little bit about who they are!

Sex therapists hold valid state regulatory license in one of the following disciplines: marriage and family therapy, psychology, medicine, social work, counseling, or nursing.

Unlike other types of counseling, sex therapy focuses on human sexuality and intimacy of desire discrepencies in a comfortable non-judgmental atmosphere where single and partnered individuals feel safe.

 

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

A sex therapist does not help you have sex in the literal sense. They are not sex workers.

A sex therapist takes the tools of therapy, addresses your concerns, thoughts, and feelings, and puts this together with how this is inhibiting your sexuality.

According to AASECT, “sex therapy training must involve the learning of specific sex therapy techniques and interventions, not just theory.”

So therefore, you could attend a workshop on sex therapy theory on this particular therapeutic technique. Then, a certified sex therapist would usually attend “an additional workshop on how to present this technique, what kind of language to use, how to time and pace the specific assignments, and in which order the assignments are given” says AASECT.

Often then give you the tools to complete the goal of resolving the issue.

Sex therapists listen to your concerns within the realm of sex, such as:

  • Concerns over intimacy, sexual desire, or arousal
  • Sexual anxieties or interests
  • Sexual orientation (and gender identity)Impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior
  • Difficulties, such as early ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or painful intercourse
  • Concerns over past unwanted or traumatic sexual experiences
  • Low sexual desire or difficult arousal
  • Reckless sexual activity
  • Inability to achieve orgasm

The list does not end here!

Are you going through new changes such as having a baby, moving in together, making a major purchase, getting married, or going through menopause?

All of these mean bumps in a person’s sexual experiences that a sex therapist can help you through. Together, you find new ways to achieve your intimate goal.

 

What happens in a sex therapy session?

A sex therapist will listen to you describe your problems and assess whether the cause is likely to be psychological, physical, emotional, or a combination.

Talking about and exploring your experiences will help you get a better understanding of what is happening and the reasons.

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

The therapist may also give you exercises and tasks to do with your partner in your own time.

Each therapy session is completely confidential and different. You can see a sex therapist by yourself or with a partner.

Sessions usually last for 30 – 60 minutes depending on what you are interested in!

The therapist may advise you to have weekly sessions or to see them less frequently, such as once a month.

At Life Coaching and Therapy we can offer you a variety of therapies like:

We can help you get the life you want and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training, we transform our clients intimate lives!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do.

Call us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Improving couples sex life

Why You Need A Sex Coach!

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UNLOCK PASSION!

 

Why You Need A Sex Coach!

We know it’s tough when you are asking for help with depression or anxiety. At least with that, most people know what to expect when they arrive in a therapy session. But what about when you need help with sex?

Did you miss the “how to have sex” class too? Although you have the desire to have sex and connect, the skills to do so effectively is not something most people do effectively. The truth is that people need to learn how to have great sex. We aren’t all just “born with it” – it is a skill set. Similar to regular life coaching, in sex coaching the client comes to the coach with a sex problem like erectile dysfunction, low desire, premature ejaculation, etc.

A sex coach could help you solve your intimacy problem. Since sex is so shamed in our culture, talking about it or giving explicit instruction on “how-to” still remains pretty taboo. With the advent of porn, adults now have more access to sexual materials yet few examples on how to learn satisfying mutual pleasure techniques. If people knew how to clearly articulate their needs and feelings, maybe being a sex coach wouldn’t be needed.

Unfortunately, most people don’t give good feedback, so many people end up not feeling fulfilled. Believe it or not, sex is learnable and teachable! The best way to learn about it is to get feedback from an experienced, non-judgmental, or cheerleader who is in your corner discussing strategies prior to sexual activity. A sex coach is more of a facilitator than a therapist – talking about future solutions verses the past and traumas.

For all you who are wondering – NO, you won’t have to take off your clothes in the session!

Like life coaches, all experienced sex coaches spend their careers examining research, developing techniques, and learning about the human condition. They use that knowledge to help clients understand themselves better.

To explain what happens when you seek sex therapy, let’s start with the difference between a sex coach and a sex therapist:

Sex therapists have qualifications in therapy (or counseling) and depending on where you live can be psychologists, psychotherapists, or counselors. They are experienced in particular methods of therapy and have specific training and experience in working with psychosexual issues: issues relating to gender and sexuality and sexual problems. Sex therapists spend a considerable time looking at the past in order to help people to resolve issues, figure out patterns and gain the tools to change the patterns.

Sex coaches, on the other hand,  do talk about the past, but spend most of the time future oriented. Fun fact! Some sex coaches can have no qualifications at all. It is good to ask the coaches background. Some are psychologists, counselors, ministers, educators, or therapists. They are experienced in helping clients move forward into the future so they can meet the goals they set and create the life that they desire.

 

Reasons you need to see a sex coach:

  1. You don’t understand sex. I mean you get it, but you don’t “get it!” When you see it in all the movies, it looks super juicy but in real life is not the same…
  2. You are out of ideas. You remember when the sparks used to fly in the beginning! But you don’t feel the same way anymore. You find yourself in what looks like a routine transactional exchange. You feel an orgasm… but you don’t feel orgasmic.
  3. You spend way too much intimate time with your phone instead on your own love life.

Most commonly, my favorite example of what a sex coach can do that a therapist can’t is go with a client to a social event to observe and model behavior.

Sex coaching isn’t just for the sexless. We talk through potential approaches to resolve your challenges in all aspects of your intimate life. The cultural narrative suggests that only a certain type of person would go to life coaching and therapy. I will tell you that being a sex coach and a therapist have taught me that there is no stereotype to who needs help!

Unfortunately, we often see clients with desire diminished due to pornography use, infidelity or emotional affairs, boredom of the same intimate routines, or the comfort of relationship security leading to less quality time due to a focus on other activities.

What happens if I don’t see a sex coach?

  • You may not be able to get to your desired intimacy outcomes due to blocks around shame, embarrassment or insecurity.
  • Your levels of sexual desire may continue to be vastly different than your partner or what you would like it to be.
  • You may be stuck having routine sex your whole life although research would show that this is NOT the pathway to passion.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

couples intimacy workshop

Sex Therapy Exercises

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Sex Therapy Exercises

Take a step into healing and wholeness this summer by focusing on some sex therapy exercises!Strut around this summer in your flats as spring has sprung, beautiful!

Ever find yourself in a group of people who are just complaining about work or their relationships? Ever hear more about their intimate lives?

Sometimes, it is embarassing but googling “sex therapy exercises” can actually help if you can’t find a way to speak about more sensitive topics on the homefront.

Chances are if you landed here, it is because you need some spice in your sexual experiences.

Most people are scared to open up fully to a partner or can’t figure out how to take it from single to married!

If you work with a sex therapist, they will most likely give you sex therapy exercises if you ask for it. Because, you know, sometimes once-a-week therapy just isn’t enough.

The best way to get the life you want is to start to fill your mind and life with new and invigorating habits!

All sex therapy exercises will solve your presenting problems.

  • Communication
  • Trust
  • Routine (routine kills passion, always doing the same thing is boring and that’s what these exercises are for!)

 

ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SEX THERAPY EXERCISES!

 

Tantra

Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means ‘to weave’ or ‘expansion through awareness.’

It’s the sexy side of yoga. It’s an ancient Eastern cultural tradition, that uses meditation, breathing exercises, yoga and mantras to weave the spiritual and physical in order to heal.  

 

What the …. ? Tantra as a form of Sex Therapy Exercises?

The aim of Tantra is to increase the level of sexual desire and intimacy through pleasure. It is the cultivating of sexual energy in the body to connect to something amazing!

There is a large population of women, and all genders, who cannot enjoy sex, and specifically suppress their sexual problems out of shame or not to come off as inappropriate.

Tantra can psychologically heal. It teaches people to embrace themselves and their sexuality by overcoming their sexual problems. It changed my life and it can change yours too!

How? Well… when a woman embraces her sexuality and does not regard it as a taboo aspect in her life, she FLIES across all psychological barriers that stop her from enjoying her life.

This in return, will build her self-confidence and self-esteem. She will take paths that challenged her before to build meaningful relationships that would nourish her soul.

If you want to do a guided tantra activity, click here!

 

Sensate Focus Exercises

Sensate focus exercises were developed by sex therapists Masters & Johnson. They can be used by any couple seeking to explore a new kind of intimacy!

These exercises are typically done in steps or stages over a period of several weeks. One person starts as the “giver” and the other is the “receiver.” Partners then switch roles until they reach the stage of mutual touching.

 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Text Therapy – A New Therapy Method

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Text Therapy – A New Solution to Repair Relationships

Text therapy works well for people who are very busy, have social anxiety, or need frequent and faster help.  Additionally, it can be for people who generally prefer text communication.

Text therapy is private, easily accessible, and provides a written record of your most intimate conversations so you have a history right at your fingertips.

Sometimes life gets incredibly difficult and your support system isn’t there when you need it the most. With text therapy, a therapist can be there when you need help more quickly than with traditional on-site appointments, which can be booked up for weeks in advance.

Text therapy is a viable solution that is becoming an increasingly popular method for delivering therapy treatment. Now there are several HIPAA-compliant texting applications available that keep conversations private and secure. Additionally, texting has become a common and accepted method of communication.  

Companies like Betterhelp or TalkSpace have made this alternative therapy method an expansive business as seen in the article: A growing wave of online therapy

Many people feel shame, rejection, or even fear about what others might think, and asking for help in person may add to their anxiety. Text therapy gives you the freedom to pick up your phone and ask for what you need.

On the other hand, there are cases where text therapy is not enough. Some clients need use their body language and vocal tone to effectively communicate with a therapist. They might not be willing to adjust to text therapy. People need in-person psychotherapy or in-person mental health care if they have severe mental health conditions that make them a danger to themselves or others. Text therapy can be an effective supplemental resource for these people, but it is not enough on its own.

text therapy

How Does Text Therapy Work?

It can be your key to change and transform your life by improving your relationships, communications, intimacy and sex life. I have utilized text therapy for years, and it has enabled me to transform my clients’ relationships and improve their confidence.

Here is an example of a text discussion I had recently with a couple – all private health information has been covered:


I have helped a variety of diverse clients work through their problems like affairs, infertility, and self-confidence building. We accomplished this through text therapy, and working as a team!  This form of therapy teaches patience, and gives you time to stop and think about your words, their impact on others, and what you really feel.

I highly recommend this method for those of you who are extra anxious and may suffer from social anxiety. Sometimes it’s easier when you aren’t face-to-face. Text therapy is also very helpful when you are away from home, such as on a vacation, or traveling for work.

Grab your phone and say yes to freedom from time constraints and awkward “how do you feel” questions!

Deep breadth! I know this is a lot to hear. I feel you! Especially with the stress of work, student loans, and intimacy issues, which often happen all at once.

Over the past 10 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have learned that all of us experience patterns of stress and feeling unfulfilled.

“Connection is one of our basic human needs, because it provides us with passion, vitality and wellness.” – Amanda Pasciucco

Let’s get one step closer to success and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives.

Does that sound like a relief? Does it make you as hopeful as it makes me?

We can get through this.

Text therapy techniques have transformed lives and helped my clients with issues such as: eating disorders, sexless marriages, trauma and depression.

There’s a simple method I follow daily with text therapy for clients that are in need of more frequent help. Sometimes texting sessions take five minutes and sometimes they may take an hour.

90-Day Couples Makeover Program

Text therapy practice, along with many other certified sex therapy skills and body exercises, are central to my 90-Day Couples Makeover.

When we finish the 90-Day Couples Makeover program, my clients feel hope and become more confident in their choices.  It is perfect for you if:

  • You are ready for a more balanced personal and professional life
  • Your relationship or other life issues need immediate attention
  • You and your partner are too busy to get to on-site therapy sessions

Are you curious? Would you like to try text therapy?

I personally guarantee your satisfaction with the program, or I will refund your fee.

I utilize a HIPAA-compliant text app so our conversations are private and secure.

This Summer is a Great Time to Work on Your Relationship – For Individuals or Couples!

You better hurry, there are only four spots left in my 90-Day Couples Makeover program for individuals and/or couples over summer.

Please complete our Make an Appointment form, and I am happy to do a free, quick consult call to explain the program and see if we fit together.

Sending you all my love and creative visions!

Live Passionately,

 

Amanda Pasciucco

LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Founder, Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT)

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Certified Sex Therapist

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A Certified Sex Therapist Can Solve Difficult Intimacy Problems

 

Have you ever heard of a certified sex therapist? This is a licensed mental health professional with clinical experience in individual and couples’ sexual issues and low desire. In the absence of available licensure for a sex therapist, certified sex therapists have steep requirements.

Certified sex therapists work with all sexual and identity concerns, even the most intimate fantasies. Rarely are other therapists capable of providing comprehensive and intensive psychotherapy over an extended period of time with these types of complex cases.

Becoming a certified sex therapist takes a significant time and education commitment! Some students assume they’ll be a sex therapist right after college. I thought the same thing when I was 19. However, certified sex therapists have to earn a minimum of a graduate degree, pass a mental health exam and acquire a department of public health license. Additionally, certification requires thousands of clinical hours. It took me eight years of course work, client engagements, and supervision to become a certified sex therapist. Each state has its own set of requirements about who can obtain a counseling or therapy license. A certified sex therapist must have this license before practicing in the sex therapy field. You’ll also need to pass a background check.

AASECT Professional Organization

The main organization for this field is The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). It is an interdisciplinary professional organization including marriage and family therapists, physicians, social workers, psychologists, and sociologists. AASECT’s vision for certified sex therapists is that they promote the understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior. You can also find a certified sex therapist in your area on the website at: https://www.aasect.org/

Understand Your Sex Therapist’s Credentials Before You Schedule an Appointment

Unfortunately, anyone can claim to be a sex coach, sex educator, or even a sex therapist with NO training. Many therapists do not have certified sex therapist supervisor training, or formal certification and education in sexuality or sexual health. These therapists believe the topic is interesting, and base their treatment on personal experiences rather than on education, training, and research. Be sure to ask your therapist for his/her specific training and education before you address sex-related issues.

What is Certified Sex Therapist Training?

AASECT provides the highest level of expertise. The training is rigorous and specialized in sexuality, sexual health and sexual dysfunctions. The following credentials and training are required in order to become a AASECT-certified sex therapist:

  • Licensed mental health condition specializing in psychotherapy
  • 300 clinical hours treating patients that present with sexual concerns as the primary problem
  • 50 hours of supervision/consultation with an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor
  • 90 education hours in Human Sexuality
  • 60 hours in Specialty Training in Sex Therapy
  • 10 hours in a Sexual Attitude Reassessment Seminar to examine one’s feelings, attitudes, and beliefs regarding sexuality and sexual behavior

    Certified Sex Therapist

    Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

There are less than 15 certified sex therapists in Connecticut. I’m Amanda Pasciucco, and I am one of them! I am an AASECT board certified sex therapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a clinical sexologist.

I have my masters from the University of Connecticut in Human Development and Family Studies. I’ve been an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist since 2015, and an AASECT Certified Continuing Education Provider since 2018. Also, I am the founder of Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) located in West Hartford, CT.

Focusing on low-desire, pleasure-enhancement, and sexual skill-building techniques has been part of my practice for years. Some of the certified sex therapist interventions that we utilize at LCAT include:

LCAT Satisfied Clients

Here are what some of my clients have said:

AL L.

“After an upsetting breakup back in 2015. I was having a lot of emotions and decided I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t my family or a close friend.

At the time, I found Amanda on a website with a list of local therapists. It took one visit for me to realize that Amanda was a godsend. It was a turning point in my life.

Over the next few years, I experienced a lot of “aha” moments and Amanda guided me through them all.

I’ve gained so many valuable lessons  related to: self-esteem, the ability to receive, confidence, letting emotions out, intimacy, communication, languages of love, knowing your value and much more. My relationships with myself, my family, and romantic partners have all benefited. These lessons don’t come naturally in everyone’s life and there is no shame in seeking out assistance.

Amanda’s technique was exactly what I needed. She is compassionate and helps you explore your situation and feelings, but she will be honest with you and challenge you in ways that will help you grow if you are open to it. I am currently in a healthy relationship, and I am practicing everything I’ve learned.  I still like to check in with Amanda periodically, because life likes to keep you on your toes and you never stop growing! P.S. I love supporting a strong, female entrepreneur like Amanda.

I’m always impressed with the ways she and her team continue to innovate on ways they can reach and help others.”

Gary B.

“If you are just starting out in a relationship and want to build a solid foundation of love, or you want to rekindle the flames of love that seem to be smoldering – you need Amanda Pasciucco.

Amanda has the skills knowledge and a passion for her work. She can bring you to high level of communication through gazing exercises. You’ll get a feeling of what it’s like to look into your lovers’ heart and soul. Through breathing exercises, Amanda can teach how you can accomplish the feeling of oneness in your relationship. If you’re struggling with communication, problems with intimacy, or whatever it is, there is no one better or as skilled as Amanda.

A few sessions with Amanda and you will feel blessed for the opportunity to work with her. Amanda can also help you with dating sites. She helped me find the love of my life, who I now call my wife. If you want the best call Amanda Pasciucco – The Sex Healer!”

Brittany M.

“Amanda has literally saved my marriage. Before working with Amanda, I was scared that our relationship was going to fail. I now KNOW that we not only are going to make it, but we ENJOY our relationship. I don’t even want to think about where my husband and I would be without her.” #besttherapistever

One of the most important lessons that I can teach you is how to receive pleasure without shame! I can use any of the therapy models in traditional on-site sessions, or you can try my new, accelerated text therapy program for individuals or couples.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.