Surviving Infidelity

Surviving Infidelity: How To Reboot Your Relationship

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Surviving Infidelity: How To Reboot Your Relationship

Have you been surviving infidelity? 

Have you ever been cheated on? 

Or have you been a home-wrecker? 

Adultery – as with other supplements and shopping sprees and pleasure quests – is at least a reliable way of proving to ourselves that we’re not in the ground quite yet, especially when feeling a little dead inside. Or at least until a better solution comes along. – Laura Kipnis

For those who are surviving infidelity, I commend you! This is SO challenging.

I personally have been fascinated and curious about affairs my entire life. From age 19, I began reading every single book and article I could get my hands on. 

WHY do people cheat? What is this devastation that lingers in the heart after you find out your partner is unfaithful? 

If you are surviving infidelity, you know that incredibly intense feeling you have that your world is falling apart and you will die of heartbreak. 

When you discover that your partner was unfaithful and has been having an affair, the world you once knew starts to become questionable. 

In a flood of angry, sad, and fearful emotions, not even the most prepared person is able to manage the emotional, mental and physician damage when this type of secret is revealed or found out. 

It is possible to overcome infidelity!

Infidelity affects a critical  part of a couple’s relationship – the breaking of trust and intimate connection. It is not surprising that it ends up being one of the three most common reasons why couples come to see us for therapy in the first place! 

Questioning why infidelity happened?

Coupledom isn’t always simple. Although we love to pair-bond as a species, the truth is that cohabitation, extended family dynamics, financial stressors, the monotony of the weekly routine, and raising children (or pets or neither) makes it an incredibly complex and intertwined reality.

Behind most cases of infidelity, there are usually other aspects of the relationship that have caused a huge gap between you as partners… a gap in which the infidelity may have been consummated.

Surviving infidelity

How long will it take you to overcome the pain of infidelity?

The most honest answer I can offer you is… it all depends. The most important thing is that you do not have a deadline for your healing.

Overcoming infidelity and improving your relationship is possible, and I have seen at least a hundred couples do it. Sometimes it takes four months, sometimes longer! You are NOT obligated to do this alone though. This would be between you and your partner. 

It will not be easy, but ensuring that you are both on the same team is crucial! 

For some couples, coming into therapy can be the difference between staying together or divorcing.

Things You Need To Do:

Take it Easy – Don’t Rush Thing

After finding out that your partner has been unfaithful, there is usually a mix of anger, fear, and pain that manifests itself within the partner who has been betrayed. 

You have to create someplace that is a “safe place” where you can go alone to take breaks if you need to from the emotional intensity. 

Sometimes, this is in your bed, sometimes a separate room, and sometimes for me, it has been in the closet surrounded by “stuff” because it makes me feel contained. 

Talk To Your Partner About Surviving Infidelity

If you want to stay in the relationship, you must talk to your partner about the infidelity – no matter how difficult it may seem. 

If you think you have questions and you need certainty (to ask why, how often, with whom, where, etc), reach out to your partner about the questions. 

Let them have time to think on it. Just because YOU want them to tell you NOW doesn’t mean you are allowed to force them to answer. I KNOW… that may sound challenging. 

However, it is the way to face what happened and to try to overcome it, as a couple. It is important to show your partner that you still are respecting their boundaries, even though trust was broken. 

Try To Trust

Yes, some people say that this sounds impossible, yet if you have decided that you want to continue with the relationship, you need to work on trusting in small steps. Trusting with work, or chores, or date night. If you want, sit down and talk about how both of you can assure this situation is not going to happen again.

Do Not Live In Fear

It is possible that the unfaithful person is afraid that his or her or their partner will get revenge. However, not all relationships work this way. Not everyone retaliates to get even. In fact, if the other person loves you, they will end up forgiving you.

A Special Note of Divorce – from what I have witnessed as a therapist, many women, especially those who don’t work, and those that have kids, are very afraid of getting a divorce. 

They are concerned about what happens to them, their kids, and their home. Find out from a lawyer instead of living in fear. Ask the questions and get the information. 

The truth sets us free!

Regain Sexual Passion

Sometimes, infidelities occur because the relationship fell into the routine or there is not enough passion. Try to rekindle the passion as well as the trust. Seek out sex therapy if you have no idea where to start! 

Couples Therapy

Couples therapy can be an important part of the healing process. Many couples therapists see infidelities and know how to best handle them. Although surviving infidelity is complicated, couples therapists know the patterns to get you to a place of healing. 

Surviving infidelity

Start a New Relationship 

Understand that forgiveness is not synonymous with surviving infidelity and continuing on as if nothing had happened. Nor is it the same as ignoring it and following the path that led you to this place within the relationship. 

The main part of surviving infidelity is the willingness to START A NEW RELATIONSHIP. 

Your old marriage is over… you get to both consent to wanting a new one! 

You must find real reasons to convince your partner and yourself that there are still emotional building-blocks of trust needed to rebuild your relationship, and ultimately, forgive the infidelity.

If you want to hold onto anger at your partner, just know that as a couples therapist, I would not want you to continue to berate the other person due to what has happened. 

Sooner or later, this pattern of not-forgiving will end up causing a huge conflict that will end the relationship. 

If your partner is willing to rebuild trust and end the affair, then it is up to you to decide if you want to continue in the relationship. 

If you want to learn more about surviving infidelity, please comment below!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Plus Size Sex

Plus Size Sex

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PLUS SIZE SEX

 

For those of you who are considered “plus size” or those of you who have sex with people who are considered overweight, it is time to have the BEST PLUS SIZE SEX EVER.

Common Themes:

  • “I am plus size, should I be on top when I have sex? I do not want to break my girlfriend”
  • “I’m embarrassed to be on top, because my partner can see all my rolls and jiggles.”
  • “I am plus size and I want to take things to another level with my partner. What positions might work for us for penetrative sex? 

Plus Size SexIf this sounds like you or your partner, I have the plus size sex answers you have been waiting for! Believe it or not peoplehave sex no matter what their size! Ranging from masturbation, to partnered sex, to kinks, different body types have sex all the time. 

Self-consciousness can be deep within you and it feels insurmountable. I understand that you might feel shy about your body in front of your partner, especially if you’re feeling insecure.

Your jiggly hips, soft bellies, full chests, and dimpled thighs are all a part of you, and they are beautiful and perceived as VERY sexy. 

All individuals deserve the sex life they want!

While unleashing your body, try to remember that the person showing up in the bedroom vulnerably with you knows what you look like if they are going to have sex with you.

The fact is that confidence comes from radical acceptance of who you are. 

Plus Size Sex

Another fun fact is that the more you do something (for example, show yourself nude to a partner), the easier that THING becomes, AND the more CONFIDENT you become about it.

Love yourself like no other, AND love your body like no one else can. You DO NOT need anyone’s permission to do so. With confidence, you can attract whoever you are attracted to. Confidence is sexy.

It is key to talk to your partner about what sex you want to try. Do whatever position it is that you need to do to get your “rocks” off.

If you are worried about getting on top or sitting on your partner’s face, ask him/her/them. If they/he/she says yes and you want to, JUST DO IT! You will not suffocate your partner to death!

Your plus size sex has the best chance of being AMAZING if you keep an open conversation and talk to your partner about it.

 

Sexy Time

Whether you’re plus size, your partner is, or you both are, these are penetrative plus size sex positions you will love to try:

  • Reverse Cowgirl – booty is in! 
  • Doggy Style –  this is an oldie, but a goodie! Especially for receiving partners that want a harder sensation. 
  • The Pretzel – this is more of a sensual sex position than a wild one. Receiver is in a spooning position on their side and the penetrative partner (man or the one with a phallus) is on top, like in missionary. The person penetrating can get into the body at the best angle this way and the receiver can use a sex toy if they want on their other genitals.  
  • Edge of The Bed – try one person laying on the edge of the bed to receive penetration while the giver is STANDING and thrusting.
  • The Elevated Starfish – this is a variation of missionary, but with accommodations that can make it more exciting. Legs open, legs closed, knees bent and tucked up. 

If these positions don’t work, no problem! 

Not only did I work as the sex therapist for those with binge eating disorders at an eating disorder facility, but I myself have ranged in weight from average size to plus-size. 

Non-Penetrative Plus Size Sex Tips You Are Going To Love:

Masturbate

  • Learn about your pleasure and erroneous zones.
  • Experiment with your body and your orgasms! 

 

Someone Who You Feel Safe With

Find someone you can “lose the shame” with. If you are with someone who shames you for your body, please do not stay with this partner.. You’re beautiful!

  • Someone else is dying to appreciate you – I promise! You don’t need to waste your time on someone that doesn’t make you feel special for who you are.
  • Consider having a sexual relationship with someone you could keep the lights on with during sex. 

 

Use Toys

  • The choices are endless from vibrations to sensations! Move away from penetrative sex and get in the habit of making the entire body the sexual region instead of focusing on just penetrative sex, which is incredibly limiting. 

 

Buy Sexy Clothes For Yourself 

  • While finding lingerie in stores is IMPOSSIBLE (in my experience it was), plenty of online retailers make gorgeous plus size lingerie. 
  • My personal favorite is to get a costume to spice things up! NOTE: the one size fits all (in the plus-size category) used to work best for me because the material is stretchy, and that made me feel like it hugged more appropriately.

 

Put Your Comfort First 

  • Don’t go out of your way to satisfy another partner orally (eating out or giving blowjobs) while kneeling if it’s too hard on your knees. 
  • Don’t feel like you have to have shower sex if you feel you are stuffed in there too tightly. Feeling claustrophobic during shower sex (yes this happens) is much worse. 
  • Share your desires with your partner, and ask questions to find out what feels good to him/her. Lie down to give oral sex if needed. 

 

Thigh Chafing

  • If you find your thighs chafing during sex, put a dab of lotion or uberlube that neither you or your partner are allergic to on the inside of your thighs. NOT on your genitals yet.
  • This will make your skin super soft, and prevent rashes, and irritation..
  • Also, for those who like lingerie, you can buy amazing lingerie thigh garters for chafing. If those don’t work for you, cotton shorts under clothing help. 

 

Stay Hydrated

  • Don’t be afraid to take breaks during sexual activity. 
  • Sex can be hard work and it’s important to hydrate yourself. 
  • Do not push yourself past your limits, because it will affect the entire body later! 

 

Body Image Therapy: Learn to Love Your Look

body image and social media

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Polyamory

Polyamory – THE #1 DIVORCE ALTERNATIVE

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 Polyamory –THE #1 DIVORCE ALTERNATIVE 

2 out of 3 Millennials choose this alternative rather than divorcing. 

polyamory

If you aren’t in the queer, non-heteronormative communities, you may not even know what I am talking about. 

Polyamory is the new norm. Polyamory is the practice of loving multiple people – intimately and sometimes sexually. 

Why go through a divorce when you can just be honest about desiring an open sexual and romantic relationship? 

“Is swinging becoming a thing again?” asks one of my Baby Boomer clients after reading something on Facebook.

“Swinging never really went anywhere. However, they have added love. It’s called polyamory.” I respond. 

Swinging HAS been and will always be a thing. What is new is the amount of people who want to try polyamory as the newest form of relationship. 

Have you thought about OPENING up your relationship? 

What the hell is polyamory or non-monogamy? 

polyamory

Non-monogamy or open relationships are broad terms for sexual and romantic relationship styles ranging from SWINGING to POLYAMORY to KINK PLAY PARTNERS to MONOGAMISH!

Confused yet? I was too at first! 

Millennials appear to be opening the door to open relationships instead of just having one-night stands or fun with a partner on the weekend. 

From what I have heard, people state it is more of an intersectional feminist approach where everyone gets to build relationships and their IDENTITY on their own terms. 

Monogamy and polyamory are both relationship strategies. I know it may seem weird, but it is true. 

One is not superior to the other. It is a matter of choice and personal preference.

 

Are you scared of your partner asking you for polyamory? Well, you can suggest different forms of open relationship! 

  • Monogamish is a long-term committed relationship that bend the rules of monogamy with the consent of both parties. It can include dancing or kissing others. 
  • Open relationships means that you are in an open sexual and / or romantic relationship with more than one person.
  • Polyamory is the practice of loving more than one person at a time. Like… one time, I was married and had a boyfriend all at once. Those relationships are all over. But it was a part of me and a way of life for a long time! 

Successful polyamorous individuals establish guidelines about what is and is not cheating, and frequently have safer-sex conversations.

  • Non-monogamy means that people have sexual relationships other than their one partner. MAKE SURE YOU NOTE THAT THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE! 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

 

porn addiction recovery

Is Porn An Addiction?

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Is Porn An Addiction?

 

“Psst… he has porn addiction.” She whispered.

“Did you hear they got divorced due to a porn addiction?” He gossiped. 

“Addiction” to porn has not been proven yet, but there are people who have reported to me the compulsions that porn has given them in their lives. 

Pornography is defined as “any sexually explicit material that is intended to, or is used as, a sexual outlet.” (The Porn Trap, 2008).

Porn use is individualized. We cannot lump it into one category, even though it would be easier!

I know people who literally have skipped out on dates, their job, and family functions due to their desire to masturbate and self-pleasure as a coping skill. 

Not everyone has a “porn addiction” or compulsive porn use though. Honestly, the AASECT Sex Therapy board doesn’t even believe there is enough evidence to prove that it exists! 

Fun fact… some pornography sometimes can awaken desire and paint fantasies in the psyche. 

My Quick Tips For Using Pornography while self-pleasuring: 

  • Still photos are always better.
  • It is better to read erotica than watch it. 
  • If you can, mute the sound.
  • It is better to see a GIF than it is a movie. 

Why do people say they have porn addiction though? 

Self-diagnosis of porn addiction usually comes when people say they are escape into fantasies rather than dealing with their realities. 

People believe “porn addiction” is real because it is similar to other addictions:

  • Immediate reward – masturbation leads to orgasm. 
  • It can be repeated as many times as you want. It is mostly free and private.
  • You start with a small dose. By seeing light scenes, enough for the stimulation and the release of dopamine. Some people will say that they travel down the path of kinkier scenes because they need greater stimulus and more “raw” footage. Others DO NOT report this. It really seems that this depends on a person’s sexual appetites. 

Is there such a thing as porn addiction?

Not yet. Researchers all over are debating if excessive use of pornography is considered a porn addiction in the scientific sense of the word.

However, many people come to therapy due to their fears and sexual dysfunctions that they believe are caused by porn use. 

“Pornography…really, really messed up my life in a lot of ways,” Crew said. “I believed that I was more valuable than my wife as a human being because I was a man. And when you believe that you are more valuable than another person, you kind of feel like they owe you. And I was wrong.” -Terry Crew.

I have seen pornography ruin marriages, families, and people’s careers. I have had clients that have been caught and the shame causes a rippling effect into their home. 

 

So… what can you do?! 

  • 12-Step Programs 

A community of others who are struggling with a similar experience and come together just to get over this particular issue. 

  • Individual Therapy

Individual therapy with a qualified mental health professional usually consists of 45-60 minute sessions, focusing on the behaviors related to the “porn addiction.”

CBT often focus on negative thoughts about oneself and the world to change these into more positive and less-intrusive thoughts.

Couples counseling can be important for partners when one, or both, feel porn and masturbation are being used in unhealthy ways.

This type of counseling focuses on both resolving individual behaviors, improving communication, and bridging the barriers between the two partners when it comes to sexual functioning and conversation. 

If you feel you have a porn addiction and can’t stop “using,” consider contacting a mental health professional experienced in treating compulsions and sexual dysfunction.

A trained therapist can help you overcome unhealthy behaviors and improve your quality of life TODAY! 

 

Get your guide to connect more today

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Relationship Therapy Life Coaching West Hartford

Relationship Therapy

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Relationship Therapy

How is your current relationship going?

Does it need a tune-up?

Do you feel more like roommates than partners?

Relationship therapy can help spark a fire!

Some of you may think “what? We haven’t even been together a year! Why would we do that?” Well… for you newbies in NRE (New Relationship Energy), it’s good to set up a foundation of trust.

For those in long-term relationships, what patterns are you stuck in? Distancer / pursuer? High desire / low desire?

You may consider relationship therapy as a way to improve your communication and to call out patterns that lead to chaos.

If you are on the verge of divorce, instead of calling a lawyer, you can utilize relationship therapy to address your concerns regarding:

  • Pleasure and intimacy
  • Emotions and feelings
  • Communication patterns

Relationship therapy can be an effective resource for adults of any age, relationship style, gender, or sexual orientation.

Unfortunately, it is a FACT that most relationships fail.

Do you want yours to be one of them?

Experience relationship therapy in an environment that values sex positivity – an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.

Many therapists are NEVER trained in sex-positivity so you don’t get the help you need with them.

We have seen it all! If you feel like you can’t find ANYONE that gets it… relationship therapy with L-CAT may be the solution for you.

Bring us your stories around surrounding monogamy, tantra, sex and cancer, polyamory, swinging, bisexuality, intersex, sex and trauma, fetishes and kinks, gay and lesbian relationships, gender identity, transgender relationships, power dynamics, and those that are genderqueer and questioning.

We want you to THRIVE – no matter what!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Sex Toys

Sex Toys – When Vanilla Just Isn’t Enough

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SEX TOYS

 

Do you remember the first time you heard about a sex toy? Or even better… you bought one!

Sex toys usually enable a quicker  orgasm and thus, clients always ask me about them. As a former  consultant in the sex toy industry, I have a lot of knowledge about these products. 

Below is a summary of the main types of sex toys and how to use them.

 

Bullets: sex toys

The job of the bullet is to add increased pleasure on the clitoris. If you have never bought a sex toy before, this is a great place to start. 

  • It packs a lot of power into one condensed spot and jolts the nerve endings in the clitoris. 
  • Adding a bullet to masturbation and intercourse can greatly increase the intensity and amount of orgasms that you experience. 

 

Warning: Please note that bullets are external toys and not to be used inside the vagina.

 

G-spot toys: sex toys

G-spot toys are made for inside the vagina. They usually have a curve in them that angles upward to stimulate the area  known as the G-Spot. 

Some women experience additional pleasure with this type of toy because they can turn it and stimulate the wall of the vagina that they feel is the most sensitive.

Any more tips on finding your G-Spot with a sex toy?

Some couples may just run these up and down the body as a part of massage.

 

Dual-action vibrators: sex toys

The famous “rabbit” is a dual-action vibrator. It has one spot that is designated to stimulate the clitoris and a shaft that is made to fill the vagina. 

If you have never masturbated with a sex toy before or never had an orgasm, I would not recommend this type as a first sex toy. 

Make ake sure you can control each part of the toy separately. It’s no fun without the ability to calibrate each of them. 

.

 

Dildos:

A hard shaft, best when made of silicone, glass, or other solid material, gives the feeling of fullness inside orifices. 

 

Many people use dildos accompanied by hands, fingers, and/or a bullet on another erogenous zone. 

 

 

Butt Plugs:sex toys

Butt plugs are made of a variety of materials, the most common being latex. Other materials used include silicone, neoprene, wood, metal, glass, stone, and many other materials. Silicone is a particularly good material, as it can be disinfected in boiling water.

These add pleasure to the erogenous zone of the anus. The feeling of fullness often adds an added sensation alone or in use with other toys!

 

Cock Rings:sex toys

The purpose of a cock ring is to trap blood inside the penis in order to maintain an erection, or encourage a stronger erection. In order to do this it must be placed at the base of the penis.

A ring made of stretchy material is simply stretched over the penis (and optionally also the scrotum, except when used with a pump for impotence) and situated against the body. Rigid rings are used differently: first each testicle is fed through the ring and the entire scrotum is pulled through, then the flaccid penis is pushed through the ring and situated against the body.

 

 

Sex Toys  – Introducing Them to Your Partner

Incorporating sex toys with your partner can be intimidating! I SO get it!

However, once you bring it up, excitement grows and new types of pleasure are possible. 

You can explain to your partner that this adds additional stimulation that your body desires. 

Most sex toys with vibration come with a remote so you can choose the levels of pleasure and make it even more sensational. 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

sex counseling

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

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What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

 

So you heard someone mention a sex therapist, but… what does a sex therapist do?

First – a little bit about who they are!

Sex therapists hold valid state regulatory license in one of the following disciplines: marriage and family therapy, psychology, medicine, social work, counseling, or nursing.

Unlike other types of counseling, sex therapy focuses on human sexuality and intimacy of desire discrepencies in a comfortable non-judgmental atmosphere where single and partnered individuals feel safe.

 

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

A sex therapist does not help you have sex in the literal sense. They are not sex workers.

A sex therapist takes the tools of therapy, addresses your concerns, thoughts, and feelings, and puts this together with how this is inhibiting your sexuality.

According to AASECT, “sex therapy training must involve the learning of specific sex therapy techniques and interventions, not just theory.”

So therefore, you could attend a workshop on sex therapy theory on this particular therapeutic technique. Then, a certified sex therapist would usually attend “an additional workshop on how to present this technique, what kind of language to use, how to time and pace the specific assignments, and in which order the assignments are given” says AASECT.

Often then give you the tools to complete the goal of resolving the issue.

Sex therapists listen to your concerns within the realm of sex, such as:

  • Concerns over intimacy, sexual desire, or arousal
  • Sexual anxieties or interests
  • Sexual orientation (and gender identity)Impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior
  • Difficulties, such as early ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or painful intercourse
  • Concerns over past unwanted or traumatic sexual experiences
  • Low sexual desire or difficult arousal
  • Reckless sexual activity
  • Inability to achieve orgasm

The list does not end here!

Are you going through new changes such as having a baby, moving in together, making a major purchase, getting married, or going through menopause?

All of these mean bumps in a person’s sexual experiences that a sex therapist can help you through. Together, you find new ways to achieve your intimate goal.

 

What happens in a sex therapy session?

A sex therapist will listen to you describe your problems and assess whether the cause is likely to be psychological, physical, emotional, or a combination.

Talking about and exploring your experiences will help you get a better understanding of what is happening and the reasons.

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

The therapist may also give you exercises and tasks to do with your partner in your own time.

Each therapy session is completely confidential and different. You can see a sex therapist by yourself or with a partner.

Sessions usually last for 30 – 60 minutes depending on what you are interested in!

The therapist may advise you to have weekly sessions or to see them less frequently, such as once a month.

At Life Coaching and Therapy we can offer you a variety of therapies like:

We can help you get the life you want and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training, we transform our clients intimate lives!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do.

Call us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Improving couples sex life

Why You Need A Sex Coach!

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UNLOCK PASSION!

 

Why You Need A Sex Coach!

We know it’s tough when you are asking for help with depression or anxiety. At least with that, most people know what to expect when they arrive in a therapy session. But what about when you need help with sex?

Did you miss the “how to have sex” class too? Although you have the desire to have sex and connect, the skills to do so effectively is not something most people do effectively. The truth is that people need to learn how to have great sex. We aren’t all just “born with it” – it is a skill set. Similar to regular life coaching, in sex coaching the client comes to the coach with a sex problem like erectile dysfunction, low desire, premature ejaculation, etc.

A sex coach could help you solve your intimacy problem. Since sex is so shamed in our culture, talking about it or giving explicit instruction on “how-to” still remains pretty taboo. With the advent of porn, adults now have more access to sexual materials yet few examples on how to learn satisfying mutual pleasure techniques. If people knew how to clearly articulate their needs and feelings, maybe being a sex coach wouldn’t be needed.

Unfortunately, most people don’t give good feedback, so many people end up not feeling fulfilled. Believe it or not, sex is learnable and teachable! The best way to learn about it is to get feedback from an experienced, non-judgmental, or cheerleader who is in your corner discussing strategies prior to sexual activity. A sex coach is more of a facilitator than a therapist – talking about future solutions verses the past and traumas.

For all you who are wondering – NO, you won’t have to take off your clothes in the session!

Like life coaches, all experienced sex coaches spend their careers examining research, developing techniques, and learning about the human condition. They use that knowledge to help clients understand themselves better.

To explain what happens when you seek sex therapy, let’s start with the difference between a sex coach and a sex therapist:

Sex therapists have qualifications in therapy (or counseling) and depending on where you live can be psychologists, psychotherapists, or counselors. They are experienced in particular methods of therapy and have specific training and experience in working with psychosexual issues: issues relating to gender and sexuality and sexual problems. Sex therapists spend a considerable time looking at the past in order to help people to resolve issues, figure out patterns and gain the tools to change the patterns.

Sex coaches, on the other hand,  do talk about the past, but spend most of the time future oriented. Fun fact! Some sex coaches can have no qualifications at all. It is good to ask the coaches background. Some are psychologists, counselors, ministers, educators, or therapists. They are experienced in helping clients move forward into the future so they can meet the goals they set and create the life that they desire.

 

Reasons you need to see a sex coach:

  1. You don’t understand sex. I mean you get it, but you don’t “get it!” When you see it in all the movies, it looks super juicy but in real life is not the same…
  2. You are out of ideas. You remember when the sparks used to fly in the beginning! But you don’t feel the same way anymore. You find yourself in what looks like a routine transactional exchange. You feel an orgasm… but you don’t feel orgasmic.
  3. You spend way too much intimate time with your phone instead on your own love life.

Most commonly, my favorite example of what a sex coach can do that a therapist can’t is go with a client to a social event to observe and model behavior.

Sex coaching isn’t just for the sexless. We talk through potential approaches to resolve your challenges in all aspects of your intimate life. The cultural narrative suggests that only a certain type of person would go to life coaching and therapy. I will tell you that being a sex coach and a therapist have taught me that there is no stereotype to who needs help!

Unfortunately, we often see clients with desire diminished due to pornography use, infidelity or emotional affairs, boredom of the same intimate routines, or the comfort of relationship security leading to less quality time due to a focus on other activities.

What happens if I don’t see a sex coach?

  • You may not be able to get to your desired intimacy outcomes due to blocks around shame, embarrassment or insecurity.
  • Your levels of sexual desire may continue to be vastly different than your partner or what you would like it to be.
  • You may be stuck having routine sex your whole life although research would show that this is NOT the pathway to passion.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

couples intimacy workshop

Sex Therapy Exercises

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Sex Therapy Exercises

Take a step into healing and wholeness this summer by focusing on some sex therapy exercises!Strut around this summer in your flats as spring has sprung, beautiful!

Ever find yourself in a group of people who are just complaining about work or their relationships? Ever hear more about their intimate lives?

Sometimes, it is embarassing but googling “sex therapy exercises” can actually help if you can’t find a way to speak about more sensitive topics on the homefront.

Chances are if you landed here, it is because you need some spice in your sexual experiences.

Most people are scared to open up fully to a partner or can’t figure out how to take it from single to married!

If you work with a sex therapist, they will most likely give you sex therapy exercises if you ask for it. Because, you know, sometimes once-a-week therapy just isn’t enough.

The best way to get the life you want is to start to fill your mind and life with new and invigorating habits!

All sex therapy exercises will solve your presenting problems.

  • Communication
  • Trust
  • Routine (routine kills passion, always doing the same thing is boring and that’s what these exercises are for!)

 

ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SEX THERAPY EXERCISES!

 

Tantra

Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means ‘to weave’ or ‘expansion through awareness.’

It’s the sexy side of yoga. It’s an ancient Eastern cultural tradition, that uses meditation, breathing exercises, yoga and mantras to weave the spiritual and physical in order to heal.  

 

What the …. ? Tantra as a form of Sex Therapy Exercises?

The aim of Tantra is to increase the level of sexual desire and intimacy through pleasure. It is the cultivating of sexual energy in the body to connect to something amazing!

There is a large population of women, and all genders, who cannot enjoy sex, and specifically suppress their sexual problems out of shame or not to come off as inappropriate.

Tantra can psychologically heal. It teaches people to embrace themselves and their sexuality by overcoming their sexual problems. It changed my life and it can change yours too!

How? Well… when a woman embraces her sexuality and does not regard it as a taboo aspect in her life, she FLIES across all psychological barriers that stop her from enjoying her life.

This in return, will build her self-confidence and self-esteem. She will take paths that challenged her before to build meaningful relationships that would nourish her soul.

If you want to do a guided tantra activity, click here!

 

Sensate Focus Exercises

Sensate focus exercises were developed by sex therapists Masters & Johnson. They can be used by any couple seeking to explore a new kind of intimacy!

These exercises are typically done in steps or stages over a period of several weeks. One person starts as the “giver” and the other is the “receiver.” Partners then switch roles until they reach the stage of mutual touching.

 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Text Therapy – A New Therapy Method

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Text Therapy – A New Solution to Repair Relationships

Text therapy works well for people who are very busy, have social anxiety, or need frequent and faster help.  Additionally, it can be for people who generally prefer text communication.

Text therapy is private, easily accessible, and provides a written record of your most intimate conversations so you have a history right at your fingertips.

Sometimes life gets incredibly difficult and your support system isn’t there when you need it the most. With text therapy, a therapist can be there when you need help more quickly than with traditional on-site appointments, which can be booked up for weeks in advance.

Text therapy is a viable solution that is becoming an increasingly popular method for delivering therapy treatment. Now there are several HIPAA-compliant texting applications available that keep conversations private and secure. Additionally, texting has become a common and accepted method of communication.  

Companies like Betterhelp or TalkSpace have made this alternative therapy method an expansive business as seen in the article: A growing wave of online therapy

Many people feel shame, rejection, or even fear about what others might think, and asking for help in person may add to their anxiety. Text therapy gives you the freedom to pick up your phone and ask for what you need.

On the other hand, there are cases where text therapy is not enough. Some clients need use their body language and vocal tone to effectively communicate with a therapist. They might not be willing to adjust to text therapy. People need in-person psychotherapy or in-person mental health care if they have severe mental health conditions that make them a danger to themselves or others. Text therapy can be an effective supplemental resource for these people, but it is not enough on its own.

text therapy

How Does Text Therapy Work?

It can be your key to change and transform your life by improving your relationships, communications, intimacy and sex life. I have utilized text therapy for years, and it has enabled me to transform my clients’ relationships and improve their confidence.

Here is an example of a text discussion I had recently with a couple – all private health information has been covered:


I have helped a variety of diverse clients work through their problems like affairs, infertility, and self-confidence building. We accomplished this through text therapy, and working as a team!  This form of therapy teaches patience, and gives you time to stop and think about your words, their impact on others, and what you really feel.

I highly recommend this method for those of you who are extra anxious and may suffer from social anxiety. Sometimes it’s easier when you aren’t face-to-face. Text therapy is also very helpful when you are away from home, such as on a vacation, or traveling for work.

Grab your phone and say yes to freedom from time constraints and awkward “how do you feel” questions!

Deep breadth! I know this is a lot to hear. I feel you! Especially with the stress of work, student loans, and intimacy issues, which often happen all at once.

Over the past 10 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have learned that all of us experience patterns of stress and feeling unfulfilled.

“Connection is one of our basic human needs, because it provides us with passion, vitality and wellness.” – Amanda Pasciucco

Let’s get one step closer to success and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives.

Does that sound like a relief? Does it make you as hopeful as it makes me?

We can get through this.

Text therapy techniques have transformed lives and helped my clients with issues such as: eating disorders, sexless marriages, trauma and depression.

There’s a simple method I follow daily with text therapy for clients that are in need of more frequent help. Sometimes texting sessions take five minutes and sometimes they may take an hour.

90-Day Couples Makeover Program

Text therapy practice, along with many other certified sex therapy skills and body exercises, are central to my 90-Day Couples Makeover.

When we finish the 90-Day Couples Makeover program, my clients feel hope and become more confident in their choices.  It is perfect for you if:

  • You are ready for a more balanced personal and professional life
  • Your relationship or other life issues need immediate attention
  • You and your partner are too busy to get to on-site therapy sessions

Are you curious? Would you like to try text therapy?

I personally guarantee your satisfaction with the program, or I will refund your fee.

I utilize a HIPAA-compliant text app so our conversations are private and secure.

This Summer is a Great Time to Work on Your Relationship – For Individuals or Couples!

You better hurry, there are only four spots left in my 90-Day Couples Makeover program for individuals and/or couples over summer.

Please complete our Make an Appointment form, and I am happy to do a free, quick consult call to explain the program and see if we fit together.

Sending you all my love and creative visions!

Live Passionately,

 

Amanda Pasciucco

LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Founder, Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT)

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Certified Sex Therapist

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A Certified Sex Therapist Can Solve Difficult Intimacy Problems

 

Have you ever heard of a certified sex therapist? This is a licensed mental health professional with clinical experience in individual and couples’ sexual issues and low desire. In the absence of available licensure for a sex therapist, certified sex therapists have steep requirements.

Certified sex therapists work with all sexual and identity concerns, even the most intimate fantasies. Rarely are other therapists capable of providing comprehensive and intensive psychotherapy over an extended period of time with these types of complex cases.

Becoming a certified sex therapist takes a significant time and education commitment! Some students assume they’ll be a sex therapist right after college. I thought the same thing when I was 19. However, certified sex therapists have to earn a minimum of a graduate degree, pass a mental health exam and acquire a department of public health license. Additionally, certification requires thousands of clinical hours. It took me eight years of course work, client engagements, and supervision to become a certified sex therapist. Each state has its own set of requirements about who can obtain a counseling or therapy license. A certified sex therapist must have this license before practicing in the sex therapy field. You’ll also need to pass a background check.

AASECT Professional Organization

The main organization for this field is The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). It is an interdisciplinary professional organization including marriage and family therapists, physicians, social workers, psychologists, and sociologists. AASECT’s vision for certified sex therapists is that they promote the understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior. You can also find a certified sex therapist in your area on the website at: https://www.aasect.org/

Understand Your Sex Therapist’s Credentials Before You Schedule an Appointment

Unfortunately, anyone can claim to be a sex coach, sex educator, or even a sex therapist with NO training. Many therapists do not have certified sex therapist supervisor training, or formal certification and education in sexuality or sexual health. These therapists believe the topic is interesting, and base their treatment on personal experiences rather than on education, training, and research. Be sure to ask your therapist for his/her specific training and education before you address sex-related issues.

What is Certified Sex Therapist Training?

AASECT provides the highest level of expertise. The training is rigorous and specialized in sexuality, sexual health and sexual dysfunctions. The following credentials and training are required in order to become a AASECT-certified sex therapist:

  • Licensed mental health condition specializing in psychotherapy
  • 300 clinical hours treating patients that present with sexual concerns as the primary problem
  • 50 hours of supervision/consultation with an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor
  • 90 education hours in Human Sexuality
  • 60 hours in Specialty Training in Sex Therapy
  • 10 hours in a Sexual Attitude Reassessment Seminar to examine one’s feelings, attitudes, and beliefs regarding sexuality and sexual behavior

    Certified Sex Therapist

    Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

There are less than 15 certified sex therapists in Connecticut. I’m Amanda Pasciucco, and I am one of them! I am an AASECT board certified sex therapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a clinical sexologist.

I have my masters from the University of Connecticut in Human Development and Family Studies. I’ve been an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist since 2015, and an AASECT Certified Continuing Education Provider since 2018. Also, I am the founder of Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) located in West Hartford, CT.

Focusing on low-desire, pleasure-enhancement, and sexual skill-building techniques has been part of my practice for years. Some of the certified sex therapist interventions that we utilize at LCAT include:

LCAT Satisfied Clients

Here are what some of my clients have said:

AL L.

“After an upsetting breakup back in 2015. I was having a lot of emotions and decided I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t my family or a close friend.

At the time, I found Amanda on a website with a list of local therapists. It took one visit for me to realize that Amanda was a godsend. It was a turning point in my life.

Over the next few years, I experienced a lot of “aha” moments and Amanda guided me through them all.

I’ve gained so many valuable lessons  related to: self-esteem, the ability to receive, confidence, letting emotions out, intimacy, communication, languages of love, knowing your value and much more. My relationships with myself, my family, and romantic partners have all benefited. These lessons don’t come naturally in everyone’s life and there is no shame in seeking out assistance.

Amanda’s technique was exactly what I needed. She is compassionate and helps you explore your situation and feelings, but she will be honest with you and challenge you in ways that will help you grow if you are open to it. I am currently in a healthy relationship, and I am practicing everything I’ve learned.  I still like to check in with Amanda periodically, because life likes to keep you on your toes and you never stop growing! P.S. I love supporting a strong, female entrepreneur like Amanda.

I’m always impressed with the ways she and her team continue to innovate on ways they can reach and help others.”

Gary B.

“If you are just starting out in a relationship and want to build a solid foundation of love, or you want to rekindle the flames of love that seem to be smoldering – you need Amanda Pasciucco.

Amanda has the skills knowledge and a passion for her work. She can bring you to high level of communication through gazing exercises. You’ll get a feeling of what it’s like to look into your lovers’ heart and soul. Through breathing exercises, Amanda can teach how you can accomplish the feeling of oneness in your relationship. If you’re struggling with communication, problems with intimacy, or whatever it is, there is no one better or as skilled as Amanda.

A few sessions with Amanda and you will feel blessed for the opportunity to work with her. Amanda can also help you with dating sites. She helped me find the love of my life, who I now call my wife. If you want the best call Amanda Pasciucco – The Sex Healer!”

Brittany M.

“Amanda has literally saved my marriage. Before working with Amanda, I was scared that our relationship was going to fail. I now KNOW that we not only are going to make it, but we ENJOY our relationship. I don’t even want to think about where my husband and I would be without her.” #besttherapistever

One of the most important lessons that I can teach you is how to receive pleasure without shame! I can use any of the therapy models in traditional on-site sessions, or you can try my new, accelerated text therapy program for individuals or couples.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Sexual Anatomy

Sexual Anatomy: The Basics

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Sexual Anatomy – The Basics

 

Sexual anatomy is not something to be ashamed of! It is one of the gifts of a monogamous relationship and of consensual adult sex!

For you to get the most out of your sexual experiences, we must first understand our body. If you have never spread your legs and looked at your genitals in a mirror, that is step one.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just one part of your body. You must know your sexual anatomy, and then you get to share it with your consenting adult partners!

Also, sex in porn is not real. It is entertainment and a movie. Question the media you are consuming if you believe your relationship and sex life is not to par with those around you.

Let’s start with female sexual anatomy, or the anatomy of those assigned female at birth.

Women’s Bodies or Those Assigned Female at Birth

 

The Vulva

The vulva is the main visible component of female sexual anatomy. It is commonly referred to as the vagina, and the vagina is specifically just the hole that the babies come out of, the menstruation comes out of, and one of the places of pleasure.

The vulva is the external part of the female genitals. The mons veneris (meaning “hill of Venus,” the Roman goddess of love) is the top part of the vulva where pubic hair grows. There is often a layer of fatty tissue on this pubic bone to protects from the impact of penetrative sexual intercourse.

 

Sexual Anatomy

Vulva

The outer lips (labia minora) go around to protect the inside.

Pulling these outer lips open, you will expose the inner labia (labia minora), which do not have any hair on them.

All women’s lips have different colors, sizes, and shapes. The inner lips are there to protect the clitoris, urethra, and the vagina.

Usually the lips (both inner and outer) are sensitive to touch.

 

The Clitoris

The clitoris is the only organ in the body whose sole function is for pleasure. It looks like a small button right at the top of the outer lips. There is a piece of skin, just inside the inner labia, known as the clitoral hood. This protects the clitoris from getting too much direct stimulation. The clitoris is the most excitable part of the female genitalia, because this is where most pleasurable sensation comes from. There are more nerve endings in the clitoris than in the head of a man’s penis, which makes it extremely sensitive to touch and stimulation. The clitoris goes deep inside the body as well (the internal clitoris).

Sexual Anatomy

The Urethra

The urethra is a tiny hole about an inch to two inches below the clitoris. This is where women urinate from and where female ejaculate comes from.

 

The Vagina

Under the urethra is a bigger hole, which is the vagina. This is where women are penetrated during digital (fingers) or penetrative (penis) intercourse. It is where blood comes from during a menstrual period, and it is part of the birth canal.

The vagina has most of its nerve endings in the first third of the opening. If the entire vagina had numerous nerve endings, it would be extremely painful to give birth through the vaginal canal.

The lack of nerve endings in the vagina is what accounts for the difficulty many women have in achieving orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

Vaginal orgasms stem from stimulation of the internal clitoris. Most women also need direct stimulation of the external clitoris. Therefore, women should not feel bad or inadequate if vaginal penetration alone is not enough. Women should be able to explain exactly what they need to their partners if they cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

 

Bartholin’s Glands

Bartholin’s glands are the first step in lubrication. It is similar to pre-come (male ejaculate) for women. These two small glands are near the bottom of the vulva with openings on either side of the vagina. They are located underneath the skin, and they provide a small amount of lubricant.

 

The G-spot

It is more of an area than a spot. Some indicate that you can locate the G-spot by inserting your fingers into your vagina and make the “come here” motion.

When a woman is aroused, this area can get harder, and the texture can change. Some believe that the G-spot is the location of the internal bulbs of the clitoris, which are located behind the left and right walls of the vagina. Therefore, the G-spot is mostly an area… an area about two inches in on the top part of the vagina, facing the internal clitoris region.

Stimulating this at the same time as the external clitoris can create tons of pleasure for women.

The G-spot is one of the most famous areas of female sexual anatomy!

 

Sexual Anatomy

The Hymen

A piece of tissue that lines the vaginal opening. It is the “cherry” that is referred to in the common “popped her cherry” slang expression. The hymen is no barometer on whether or not a woman is a virgin. This tissue can be stretched with a finger, tampon, or anything inserted into the vagina. Sometimes the hymen wears away naturally, and sometimes it remains so thick that it makes first penetration extremely painful. If intercourse continues to be painful after penetrated, there is a chance that this barrier has not been broken, and a women can see a gynecologist, who can help with this.

 

The Perineum

The piece of skin from the bottom of the vulva to the anus is called the perineum. There are not many nerve endings here for women, and sometimes doctors cut through this skin to open the canal for vaginal births.

 

The Anus

The anus has numerous sensitive nerve endings. Many people practice anal sex, and it is important to note that the anus also has the capacity to be penetrated as the vagina does. The only difference is that the anus does not self-lubricate, as does the vagina.

Therefore, when engaging in anal sex, make sure to use a lot of lubricant.

 

Male Sexual Anatomy or the Anatomy of Those Misgendered Male at birth.

 

The Penis

 

In the United States, there is a tendency to put a good deal of emphasis on penis size. In popular media the question is often “How big is he?” which implies the underlying notion that being bigger is better.

 

Bigger is not always better when we talk about sexual anatomy.

 

It is is your relationship with the penis that matters.

 

If you or your partner’s penis gives you pleasure, it is perfect regardless of size.

 

 

Circumcision

It is currently debated in this country whether a man should have a circumcised penis or not. The popular narrative seems to elevate circumcised penises as better or more desirable.

Many women indicate that non-circumcised penises have led to more pleasure for them and their partners, because non-circumcised penises are more lubricating than circumcised ones.

Some women prefer the look of a circumcised penis, while others do not notice much of a difference. There is nothing to be concerned about if you encounter a non-circumcised penis. It just has some extra skin called the foreskin, which covers the head of the penis while flaccid, and retracts back when the penis is erect. But being a circumcised penis or not is just an aesthetic detail in the sexual anatomy.

 

Erections

If a women is in a sexual encounter with a male partner and he is not hard, that is totally normal. Pornography depicts men as always ready to go.

They see a naked woman and are hard almost immediately. Life is not like that.

If you see that your partner’s penis is soft, but he is in the moment with you and giving other signs that he is into the sexual act and enjoying himself, I encourage you to let go of the notion that it should be hard immediately and continue to enjoy each other sexually.

A soft penis is not an automatic indication that your partner is not into the sexual experience.

Soft penises are an indication that blood has not yet entered the penis.

Desire begins in the mind.

Getting upset about a physiological response that those with penises may not have mental control over ruins the moment more than a soft penis does.

Do not put pressure on yourself unless it becomes a constant problem that you can never get an erection while with a partner.

If this is the case, it may be time to discuss what is happening and consult a physician, urologist, and a sex therapist.

 

Difference Between Orgasming and Ejaculating

Most people think that it is easy to tell when men have orgasmed, because they ejaculated. Although most men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, this is not always the case. There is a difference between orgasming and ejaculation. Ejaculation is the fluid that is dispelled from the body.

Orgasm can be the emotional, mental, and physical part of this process. People can achieve full-body orgasms using breath-work and relaxation of the mind and body. Sometimes an ejaculatory and full-body orgasm can occur together, and other times, the male body can orgasm without the penis ejaculating at all.

 

Conclusions

It is important to understand your anatomy and your partner’s body. Feel free to talk with your friends and sexual partner about your body. Instead of shaming the body, as many are taught to do while growing up, praise it as well as the body of your sexual partner. If you feel attracted to your partner, make sure to say which exact body parts you value. Doing this will also set up the framework for you to appreciate your own body.

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Connecticut

What is Sexology?

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What Is Sexology and What Is It For?

Sexology is the science that studies sex, that simple! To be more specific, it is the science that studies the sexuality of the human being, sexual behavior and its different manifestations. All of these from the psychological and physiological point of view.

A sexologist is a professional who performs various tasks: sexual education, guidance, couples’ counseling and intervention, and research.

The professional will treat the patient from the psychological and therapeutic point of view since there is a diversity of problems which can be extended to both fields. Including everything that has to do with the relationship between men and women, not only about sexual perfomance; but what happens to their lives too.

Communication’s problems, affective needs, maternity-paternity issues, and mediation in separation and divorces are also issues that a sexologist can deal with.

 

Since we have a sex negative and pleasure negative culture, the field of clinical sexology is imperative. – Amanda Pasciucco

 

Sexology also serves as a post-traumatic tool in situations where the sexual integrity of a person has been violated. When sexual abuse occurs, the victim is so affected that psychological therapy is necessary to overcome the trauma. Also, sexual therapy helps to regain his/her sexual life.

The governing body for sex therapist is American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) mentions as its vision of sexual health to be one where, all individuals are entitled to enjoy:

  • Respect of their sexual thoughts, feelings and fantasies
  • The right to engage in healthy modes of sexual activity,
  • Freedom to exercise behavioral, emotional, economic, and social responsibility for their bodily functioning
  • The power to chose their mode of loving, working, and playing

AASECT believes that these rights pertain to all peoples whatever their age, family structure, backgrounds, beliefs, and circumstances”

 

How do I know if I should go to the sexologist or another professional?

It is common for a person who encounters a difficulty in their sexual life to ask which specialist should go. To the gynecologist, the urologist, the general practitioner, the endocrinologist, the psychologist, the sexologist …? The answer varies depending on the specific problem, and whether it has a physical cause or not.

sexologistJust as the sexologist can refer you to another professional, other professional can refer you to the sexologist. This happens when they find that a certain sexual problem exceeds their field of work.

 

Conclusion

Sometimes we have problems in our sexual life and, instead of going to a specialist consultation to help us overcome this problem, we let it go by playing down the importance. However, in the same way that when you hurt your teeth you go to the dentist, if there is any dysfunction in your sex life you should go to the specialist: the sexologist.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

queer sex therapy

Improving Couples Sex Life

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Improving Couples Sex Life

 

There are many ways to improving a couples sex life, and we help our clients with skills and techniques based on what works the best for them. For some, the key is improved communication, and for others it’s finding ways to address their fantasies. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to maintain the same spark a couple had when they first met? Quite often, time and friction from everyday life causes a relationship to become routine and the spark slowly fades away. Many couples surrender, accepting this routine sex life or lack of a sex life and do not believe that it’s even possible to improve their sex life.

The reality is that couples just need a relationship reboot in order to ignite their passion.

Below are seven tips on how to keep the spark in your relationship and improve your sex life, because I want you to know that no matter how long you’ve been a couple, a great sex life is possible at any time.

Work as a Team

You are! When you decided to commit yourselves and spend the rest of your lives together, you began a long path. You will both only be victorious if you work together as a team. You must join together in dealing with adversities. Problems arise all the time. There may be arguments about money, kids, and even your sex life, but the only ones that can solve the challenges are you two – working together. You have to learn from mistakes and accept that the person next to you has flaws.

Spice Things Up

If you are not having a lot of sex, relax, this is not rare and there is a solution. The first thing you should observe is the daily physical contact that you both have with each other. A hug, a kiss on the cheek or a naughty pat are great gestures if you have not been intimate for a long time.

Regular sexual intercourse will naturally increase sexual desire. The same thing applies when sex frequency is low, sexual desire goes down. Having more sex causes the body to start producing more sex hormones that remind you how much you like to have sex.

 

Variety is one way to improve a couples sex life. It makes things exciting and rewarding. One of the main reasons why couples stop having sex is because it becomes routine, boring and predictable. Individuals need emotion, fun and a touch of mystery to activate their desire.

 

Plan a regular date night, and forget about the dishes, kids’ homework and problems at work. Take a bath together or share a few glasses of wine to get in the mood. These activities work as passion igniters.

Why not venture into something new together? When it comes to bedroom experiences, there are many new things to try in order to improve couples sex life:

  1. Practice Karezza sex (a calm and gentle method).
  2. Masturbate and watch your partner masturbate.
  3. Implement (at least) half of the Kama Sutra’s positions
  4. Have cybernetic sex and/or erotic phone calls.
  5. Be blindfolded while making love.
  6. Wear super sexy lingerie and shop for it together.
  7. Encourage an erotic dance.
  8. Use a vibrator or other type of erotic toy.
  9. Tie up your partner, and another day, let him/her tie you.
  10. Seduce him/her with an erotic costume.
  11. Practice tantric sex
  12. Have sex in the shower.
  13. Read erotic literature.
  14. Try a sexual role play.
  15. Share your fantasies (and put them into practice).
  16. Wake him/her up in the middle of the night to make love.
  17. Practice “wet” fetishism or splosh sex (cover your partner with wet food, such as cream, before having sex)
  18. Have “morning quickies” before going to work.
  19. Make love with candlelight.
  20. View pornography together and try to imitate it.
  21. Play “strip poker” and undress little by little.

Go Out for Adventures Together

Just as you must experiment in the bedroom, you must also do so in everyday life – I am not talking about sex. Go for a walk in the park together, or go out for coffee like you did when you first met. Your relationship is not limited within the house.

It may sound silly or too obvious, but how many times have you heard your partner say “we never do things together” or “we never go anywhere”? There are many options and the most entertaining are usually the lowest cost or free.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Communication is not the solution to all your problems, but it is essential if you want to lay the foundation for a strong future. Most detachments occur when we misinterpret the other person or simply stop communicating. Sit down to enjoy a night together and ask again all the things you asked each other when you first met.

 

Ask For What You Really Want

A common mistake is to wait for your partner to do something without ever telling him/her what it is you desire. Your partner is not a mind reader no matter how much time you have spent together, or how well you think you know each other. If you really want something, express it in the proper way.

Explain What You Think or How You Feel

Clearly say what you think or how you feel – both positive and negative thoughts and feelings, but always be respectful of each other. There is no better way for your partner to understand you than when you show your emotions. Do not assume that your partner will know how you feel.

 

Take Care of Yourself

You have to invest in yourself in order to improve your self-esteem. Your partner will love you now matter how you look, but when you feel good about yourself it will improve your attitude, which can help with your relationship. Only you can decide if you let external factors affect your self-esteem.

Regular exercise, for example, will not only improve your health, but your body will start producing more serotonin, which regulates the state of mood. That is why it is also known as a happiness hormone. You must love and be happy with yourself so that your partner can also love you without restrictions.

 

Conclusion:

Regardless of the reasons, such as stress, lack of intimacy or poor communication that cause a couple to lose their spark, it is possible to improve couples sex life by breaking out of their routine, trying new things, and acting like they are dating again in order to ignite the passion that originally brought them together.

 

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

how to find a sex therapist

Is The G-Spot Real Or A Myth?

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Is The G Spot Real Or A Myth? (SEX EXPERT REVEALS THE TRUTH)

 

Debunking the G-Spot! I know this catchy term has been thrown here and there, but what have you thought of it as? Have you ever asked, “Is the G Spot real”? The female G Spot is a mystery that’s for sure!

 

The questions about it have been how to find the G Spot, where is the G Spot, and even… does the G Spot exist? We’ve seen the term thrown here and there as the magical place, the vagina g spot, to hit for a g spot orgasm! You’ve probably failed and asked yourself, is there a G Spot? Is the G Spot a myth? Have you ever asked yourself how I can find my G-Spot? You’ll find the answer to that question here from your very own sex therapist —  I will reveal the truth about the famous vagina G Spot!  Let me tell you how to get a G Spot orgasm with today’s sex education!

 

If you’re like most people, you probably thought it was one specific anatomical spot that could induce an orgasm in the vagina…. Well here’s the truth. As long as the front wall of the vagina is hit– you’ve hit the so-called G-Spot. It’s more an area than a spot. To learn more about what produces or makes up the G-Spot, head over to this video!