sex counseling

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

So you heard someone mention a sex therapist, but… what does a sex therapist do?

First - a little bit about who they are!

Sex therapists hold valid state regulatory license in one of the following disciplines: marriage and family therapy, psychology, medicine, social work, counseling, or nursing.

Unlike other types of counseling, sex therapy focuses on human sexuality and intimacy of desire discrepencies in a comfortable non-judgmental atmosphere where single and partnered individuals feel safe.

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

A sex therapist does not help you have sex in the literal sense. They are not sex workers.

A sex therapist takes the tools of therapy, addresses your concerns, thoughts, and feelings, and puts this together with how this is inhibiting your sexuality.

According to AASECT, “sex therapy training must involve the learning of specific sex therapy techniques and interventions, not just theory.”

So therefore, you could attend a workshop on sex therapy theory on this particular therapeutic technique. Then, a certified sex therapist would usually attend “an additional workshop on how to present this technique, what kind of language to use, how to time and pace the specific assignments, and in which order the assignments are given” says AASECT.

Often then give you the tools to complete the goal of resolving the issue.

Sex therapists listen to your concerns within the realm of sex, such as:

  • Concerns over intimacy, sexual desire, or arousal
  • Sexual anxieties or interests
  • Sexual orientation (and gender identity)Impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior
  • Difficulties, such as early ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or painful intercourse
  • Concerns over past unwanted or traumatic sexual experiences
  • Low sexual desire or difficult arousal
  • Reckless sexual activity
  • Inability to achieve orgasm

The list does not end here!

Are you going through new changes such as having a baby, moving in together, making a major purchase, getting married, or going through menopause?

All of these mean bumps in a person’s sexual experiences that a sex therapist can help you through. Together, you find new ways to achieve your intimate goal.

What happens in a sex therapy session?

A sex therapist will listen to you describe your problems and assess whether the cause is likely to be psychological, physical, emotional, or a combination.

Talking about and exploring your experiences will help you get a better understanding of what is happening and the reasons.

What Does A Sex Therapist Do?

The therapist may also give you exercises and tasks to do with your partner in your own time.

Each therapy session is completely confidential and different. You can see a sex therapist by yourself or with a partner.

Sessions usually last for 30 - 60 minutes depending on what you are interested in!

The therapist may advise you to have weekly sessions or to see them less frequently, such as once a month.

At Life Coaching and Therapy we can offer you a variety of therapies like:

We can help you get the life you want and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training, we transform our clients intimate lives!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do.

Call us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment!


Improving couples sex life

Why You Need A Sex Coach!

UNLOCK PASSION!

Why You Need A Sex Coach!

We know it’s tough when you are asking for help with depression or anxiety. At least with that, most people know what to expect when they arrive in a therapy session. But what about when you need help with sex?

Did you miss the “how to have sex” class too? Although you have the desire to have sex and connect, the skills to do so effectively is not something most people do effectively. The truth is that people need to learn how to have great sex. We aren’t all just “born with it” - it is a skill set. Similar to regular life coaching, in sex coaching the client comes to the coach with a sex problem like erectile dysfunction, low desire, premature ejaculation, etc.

A sex coach could help you solve your intimacy problem. Since sex is so shamed in our culture, talking about it or giving explicit instruction on “how-to” still remains pretty taboo. With the advent of porn, adults now have more access to sexual materials yet few examples on how to learn satisfying mutual pleasure techniques. If people knew how to clearly articulate their needs and feelings, maybe being a sex coach wouldn’t be needed.

Unfortunately, most people don’t give good feedback, so many people end up not feeling fulfilled. Believe it or not, sex is learnable and teachable! The best way to learn about it is to get feedback from an experienced, non-judgmental, or cheerleader who is in your corner discussing strategies prior to sexual activity. A sex coach is more of a facilitator than a therapist - talking about future solutions verses the past and traumas.

For all you who are wondering - NO, you won't have to take off your clothes in the session!

Like life coaches, all experienced sex coaches spend their careers examining research, developing techniques, and learning about the human condition. They use that knowledge to help clients understand themselves better.

To explain what happens when you seek sex therapy, let’s start with the difference between a sex coach and a sex therapist:

Sex therapists have qualifications in therapy (or counseling) and depending on where you live can be psychologists, psychotherapists, or counselors. They are experienced in particular methods of therapy and have specific training and experience in working with psychosexual issues: issues relating to gender and sexuality and sexual problems. Sex therapists spend a considerable time looking at the past in order to help people to resolve issues, figure out patterns and gain the tools to change the patterns.

Sex coaches, on the other hand,  do talk about the past, but spend most of the time future oriented. Fun fact! Some sex coaches can have no qualifications at all. It is good to ask the coaches background. Some are psychologists, counselors, ministers, educators, or therapists. They are experienced in helping clients move forward into the future so they can meet the goals they set and create the life that they desire.

Reasons you need to see a sex coach:

  1. You don’t understand sex. I mean you get it, but you don’t “get it!” When you see it in all the movies, it looks super juicy but in real life is not the same…
  2. You are out of ideas. You remember when the sparks used to fly in the beginning! But you don’t feel the same way anymore. You find yourself in what looks like a routine transactional exchange. You feel an orgasm… but you don’t feel orgasmic.
  3. You spend way too much intimate time with your phone instead on your own love life.

Most commonly, my favorite example of what a sex coach can do that a therapist can't is go with a client to a social event to observe and model behavior.

Sex coaching isn’t just for the sexless. We talk through potential approaches to resolve your challenges in all aspects of your intimate life. The cultural narrative suggests that only a certain type of person would go to life coaching and therapy. I will tell you that being a sex coach and a therapist have taught me that there is no stereotype to who needs help!

Unfortunately, we often see clients with desire diminished due to pornography use, infidelity or emotional affairs, boredom of the same intimate routines, or the comfort of relationship security leading to less quality time due to a focus on other activities.

What happens if I don’t see a sex coach?

  • You may not be able to get to your desired intimacy outcomes due to blocks around shame, embarrassment or insecurity.
  • Your levels of sexual desire may continue to be vastly different than your partner or what you would like it to be.
  • You may be stuck having routine sex your whole life although research would show that this is NOT the pathway to passion.

sex coach

I’m Amanda Pasciucco and I want to present you to my team of licensed therapists. I am an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and my staff and I provide board-certified continuing education for adults.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (L-CAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training, we transform intimate lives!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


couples intimacy workshop

Sex Therapy Exercises

Sex Therapy Exercises

Take a step into healing and wholeness this summer by focusing on some sex therapy exercises!Strut around this summer in your flats as spring has sprung, beautiful!

 

Ever find yourself in a group of people who are just complaining about work or their relationships? Ever hear more about their intimate lives?

Sometimes, it is embarassing but googling “sex therapy exercises” can actually help if you can’t find a way to speak about more sensitive topics on the homefront.

 

Chances are if you landed here, it is because you need some spice in your sexual experiences.

Most people are scared to open up fully to a partner or can’t figure out how to take it from single to married!

If you work with a sex therapist, they will most likely give you sex therapy exercises if you ask for it. Because, you know, sometimes once-a-week therapy just isn’t enough.

 

The best way to get the life you want is to start to fill your mind and life with new and invigorating habits!

 

All sex therapy exercises will solve your presenting problems.

  • Communication
  • Trust
  • Routine (routine kills passion, always doing the same thing is boring and that's what these exercises are for!)

 

ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SEX THERAPY EXERCISES!

 

Tantra

Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means ‘to weave’ or ‘expansion through awareness.’

It’s the sexy side of yoga. It’s an ancient Eastern cultural tradition, that uses meditation, breathing exercises, yoga and mantras to weave the spiritual and physical in order to heal.  

 

What the …. ? Tantra as a form of Sex Therapy Exercises?

 

The aim of Tantra is to increase the level of sexual desire and intimacy through pleasure. It is the cultivating of sexual energy in the body to connect to something amazing!

 

There is a large population of women, and all genders, who cannot enjoy sex, and specifically suppress their sexual problems out of shame or not to come off as inappropriate.

 

Tantra can psychologically heal. It teaches people to embrace themselves and their sexuality by overcoming their sexual problems. It changed my life and it can change yours too!

How? Well... when a woman embraces her sexuality and does not regard it as a taboo aspect in her life, she FLIES across all psychological barriers that stop her from enjoying her life.

 

This in return, will build her self-confidence and self-esteem. She will take paths that challenged her before to build meaningful relationships that would nourish her soul.

If you want to do a guided tantra activity, click here!

Sensate Focus Exercises

Sensate focus exercises were developed by sex therapists Masters & Johnson. They can be used by any couple seeking to explore a new kind of intimacy!

These exercises are typically done in steps or stages over a period of several weeks. One person starts as the “giver” and the other is the “receiver.” Partners then switch roles until they reach the stage of mutual touching.

If you do the exercises in the morning, you can enjoy other sexual activity at other times! The key is to not mix exercises with your normal sexual activities.

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (L-CAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth.

Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure skills training, we transform lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do.

Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Text Therapy - A New Therapy Method

Text Therapy – A New Solution to Repair Relationships

Text therapy works well for people who are very busy, have social anxiety, or need frequent and faster help.  Additionally, it can be for people who generally prefer text communication.

Text therapy is private, easily accessible, and provides a written record of your most intimate conversations so you have a history right at your fingertips.

Sometimes life gets incredibly difficult and your support system isn’t there when you need it the most. With text therapy, a therapist can be there when you need help more quickly than with traditional on-site appointments, which can be booked up for weeks in advance.

Text therapy is a viable solution that is becoming an increasingly popular method for delivering therapy treatment. Now there are several HIPAA-compliant texting applications available that keep conversations private and secure. Additionally, texting has become a common and accepted method of communication.  

Companies like Betterhelp or TalkSpace have made this alternative therapy method an expansive business as seen in the article: A growing wave of online therapy

Many people feel shame, rejection, or even fear about what others might think, and asking for help in person may add to their anxiety. Text therapy gives you the freedom to pick up your phone and ask for what you need.

On the other hand, there are cases where text therapy is not enough. Some clients need use their body language and vocal tone to effectively communicate with a therapist. They might not be willing to adjust to text therapy. People need in-person psychotherapy or in-person mental health care if they have severe mental health conditions that make them a danger to themselves or others. Text therapy can be an effective supplemental resource for these people, but it is not enough on its own.

text therapy

How Does Text Therapy Work?

It can be your key to change and transform your life by improving your relationships, communications, intimacy and sex life. I have utilized text therapy for years, and it has enabled me to transform my clients’ relationships and improve their confidence.

Here is an example of a text discussion I had recently with a couple – all private health information has been covered:


I have helped a variety of diverse clients work through their problems like affairs, infertility, and self-confidence building. We accomplished this through text therapy, and working as a team!  This form of therapy teaches patience, and gives you time to stop and think about your words, their impact on others, and what you really feel.

I highly recommend this method for those of you who are extra anxious and may suffer from social anxiety. Sometimes it’s easier when you aren’t face-to-face. Text therapy is also very helpful when you are away from home, such as on a vacation, or traveling for work.

Grab your phone and say yes to freedom from time constraints and awkward “how do you feel” questions!

Deep breadth! I know this is a lot to hear. I feel you! Especially with the stress of work, student loans, and intimacy issues, which often happen all at once.

Over the past 10 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have learned that all of us experience patterns of stress and feeling unfulfilled.

“Connection is one of our basic human needs, because it provides us with passion, vitality and wellness.” - Amanda Pasciucco

Let’s get one step closer to success and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives.

Does that sound like a relief? Does it make you as hopeful as it makes me?

We can get through this.

Text therapy techniques have transformed lives and helped my clients with issues such as: eating disorders, sexless marriages, trauma and depression.

There’s a simple method I follow daily with text therapy for clients that are in need of more frequent help. Sometimes texting sessions take five minutes and sometimes they may take an hour.

90-Day Couples Makeover Program

Text therapy practice, along with many other certified sex therapy skills and body exercises, are central to my 90-Day Couples Makeover.

When we finish the 90-Day Couples Makeover program, my clients feel hope and become more confident in their choices.  It is perfect for you if:

  • You are ready for a more balanced personal and professional life
  • Your relationship or other life issues need immediate attention
  • You and your partner are too busy to get to on-site therapy sessions

Are you curious? Would you like to try text therapy?

I personally guarantee your satisfaction with the program, or I will refund your fee.

I utilize a HIPAA-compliant text app so our conversations are private and secure.

This Summer is a Great Time to Work on Your Relationship – For Individuals or Couples!

You better hurry, there are only four spots left in my 90-Day Couples Makeover program for individuals and/or couples over summer.

Please complete our Make an Appointment form, and I am happy to do a free, quick consult call to explain the program and see if we fit together.

Sending you all my love and creative visions!

Live Passionately,

 

Amanda Pasciucco

LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Founder, Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT)

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Certified Sex Therapist

A Certified Sex Therapist Can Solve Difficult Intimacy Problems

Have you ever heard of a certified sex therapist? This is a licensed mental health professional with clinical experience in individual and couples’ sexual issues and low desire. In the absence of available licensure for a sex therapist, certified sex therapists have steep requirements.

Certified sex therapists work with all sexual and identity concerns, even the most intimate fantasies. Rarely are other therapists capable of providing comprehensive and intensive psychotherapy over an extended period of time with these types of complex cases.

Becoming a certified sex therapist takes a significant time and education commitment! Some students assume they’ll be a sex therapist right after college. I thought the same thing when I was 19. However, certified sex therapists have to earn a minimum of a graduate degree, pass a mental health exam and acquire a department of public health license. Additionally, certification requires thousands of clinical hours. It took me eight years of course work, client engagements, and supervision to become a certified sex therapist. Each state has its own set of requirements about who can obtain a counseling or therapy license. A certified sex therapist must have this license before practicing in the sex therapy field. You'll also need to pass a background check.

AASECT Professional Organization

The main organization for this field is The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). It is an interdisciplinary professional organization including marriage and family therapists, physicians, social workers, psychologists, and sociologists. AASECT’s vision for certified sex therapists is that they promote the understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior. You can also find a certified sex therapist in your area on the website at: https://www.aasect.org/

Understand Your Sex Therapist's Credentials Before You Schedule an Appointment

Unfortunately, anyone can claim to be a sex coach, sex educator, or even a sex therapist with NO training. Many therapists do not have certified sex therapist supervisor training, or formal certification and education in sexuality or sexual health. These therapists believe the topic is interesting, and base their treatment on personal experiences rather than on education, training, and research. Be sure to ask your therapist for his/her specific training and education before you address sex-related issues.

What is Certified Sex Therapist Training?

AASECT provides the highest level of expertise. The training is rigorous and specialized in sexuality, sexual health and sexual dysfunctions. The following credentials and training are required in order to become a AASECT-certified sex therapist:

  • Licensed mental health condition specializing in psychotherapy
  • 300 clinical hours treating patients that present with sexual concerns as the primary problem
  • 50 hours of supervision/consultation with an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor
  • 90 education hours in Human Sexuality
  • 60 hours in Specialty Training in Sex Therapy
  • 10 hours in a Sexual Attitude Reassessment Seminar to examine one’s feelings, attitudes, and beliefs regarding sexuality and sexual behavior

    Certified Sex Therapist
    Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

There are less than 15 certified sex therapists in Connecticut. I’m Amanda Pasciucco, and I am one of them! I am an AASECT board certified sex therapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a clinical sexologist.

I have my masters from the University of Connecticut in Human Development and Family Studies. I’ve been an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist since 2015, and an AASECT Certified Continuing Education Provider since 2018. Also, I am the founder of Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) located in West Hartford, CT.

Focusing on low-desire, pleasure-enhancement, and sexual skill-building techniques has been part of my practice for years. Some of the certified sex therapist interventions that we utilize at LCAT include:

LCAT Satisfied Clients

Here are what some of my clients have said:

AL L.

“After an upsetting breakup back in 2015. I was having a lot of emotions and decided I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t my family or a close friend.

At the time, I found Amanda on a website with a list of local therapists. It took one visit for me to realize that Amanda was a godsend. It was a turning point in my life.

Over the next few years, I experienced a lot of “aha” moments and Amanda guided me through them all.

I’ve gained so many valuable lessons  related to: self-esteem, the ability to receive, confidence, letting emotions out, intimacy, communication, languages of love, knowing your value and much more. My relationships with myself, my family, and romantic partners have all benefited. These lessons don’t come naturally in everyone’s life and there is no shame in seeking out assistance.

Amanda’s technique was exactly what I needed. She is compassionate and helps you explore your situation and feelings, but she will be honest with you and challenge you in ways that will help you grow if you are open to it. I am currently in a healthy relationship, and I am practicing everything I’ve learned.  I still like to check in with Amanda periodically, because life likes to keep you on your toes and you never stop growing! P.S. I love supporting a strong, female entrepreneur like Amanda.

I’m always impressed with the ways she and her team continue to innovate on ways they can reach and help others.”

Gary B.

“If you are just starting out in a relationship and want to build a solid foundation of love, or you want to rekindle the flames of love that seem to be smoldering - you need Amanda Pasciucco.

Amanda has the skills knowledge and a passion for her work. She can bring you to high level of communication through gazing exercises. You’ll get a feeling of what it’s like to look into your lovers’ heart and soul. Through breathing exercises, Amanda can teach how you can accomplish the feeling of oneness in your relationship. If you’re struggling with communication, problems with intimacy, or whatever it is, there is no one better or as skilled as Amanda.

A few sessions with Amanda and you will feel blessed for the opportunity to work with her. Amanda can also help you with dating sites. She helped me find the love of my life, who I now call my wife. If you want the best call Amanda Pasciucco - The Sex Healer!”

Brittany M.

“Amanda has literally saved my marriage. Before working with Amanda, I was scared that our relationship was going to fail. I now KNOW that we not only are going to make it, but we ENJOY our relationship. I don't even want to think about where my husband and I would be without her.” #besttherapistever

One of the most important lessons that I can teach you is how to receive pleasure without shame! I can use any of the therapy models in traditional on-site sessions, or you can try my new, accelerated text therapy program for individuals or couples.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Sexual Anatomy

Sexual Anatomy: The Basics

Sexual Anatomy - The Basics

Sexual anatomy is not something to be ashamed of! It is one of the gifts of a monogamous relationship and of consensual adult sex!

For you to get the most out of your sexual experiences, we must first understand our body. If you have never spread your legs and looked at your genitals in a mirror, that is step one.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just one part of your body. You must know your sexual anatomy, and then you get to share it with your consenting adult partners!

Also, sex in porn is not real. It is entertainment and a movie. Question the media you are consuming if you believe your relationship and sex life is not to par with those around you.

Let's start with female sexual anatomy, or the anatomy of those assigned female at birth.

Women’s Bodies or Those Assigned Female at Birth

The Vulva

The vulva is the main visible component of female sexual anatomy. It is commonly referred to as the vagina, and the vagina is specifically just the hole that the babies come out of, the menstruation comes out of, and one of the places of pleasure.

The vulva is the external part of the female genitals. The mons veneris (meaning “hill of Venus,” the Roman goddess of love) is the top part of the vulva where pubic hair grows. There is often a layer of fatty tissue on this pubic bone to protects from the impact of penetrative sexual intercourse.

 

Sexual Anatomy

Vulva

 

The outer lips (labia minora) go around to protect the inside.

 

Pulling these outer lips open, you will expose the inner labia (labia minora), which do not have any hair on them.

 

All women’s lips have different colors, sizes, and shapes. The inner lips are there to protect the clitoris, urethra, and the vagina.

 

Usually the lips (both inner and outer) are sensitive to touch.

 

The Clitoris

 

The clitoris is the only organ in the body whose sole function is for pleasure. It looks like a small button right at the top of the outer lips. There is a piece of skin, just inside the inner labia, known as the clitoral hood. This protects the clitoris from getting too much direct stimulation. The clitoris is the most excitable part of the female genitalia, because this is where most pleasurable sensation comes from. There are more nerve endings in the clitoris than in the head of a man’s penis, which makes it extremely sensitive to touch and stimulation. The clitoris goes deep inside the body as well (the internal clitoris).

Sexual Anatomy

The Urethra

 

The urethra is a tiny hole about an inch to two inches below the clitoris. This is where women urinate from and where female ejaculate comes from.

 

The Vagina

 

Under the urethra is a bigger hole, which is the vagina. This is where women are penetrated during digital (fingers) or penetrative (penis) intercourse. It is where blood comes from during a menstrual period, and it is part of the birth canal.

The vagina has most of its nerve endings in the first third of the opening. If the entire vagina had numerous nerve endings, it would be extremely painful to give birth through the vaginal canal.

 

The lack of nerve endings in the vagina is what accounts for the difficulty many women have in achieving orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

Vaginal orgasms stem from stimulation of the internal clitoris. Most women also need direct stimulation of the external clitoris. Therefore, women should not feel bad or inadequate if vaginal penetration alone is not enough. Women should be able to explain exactly what they need to their partners if they cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

 

Bartholin’s Glands

 

Bartholin's glands are the first step in lubrication. It is similar to pre-come (male ejaculate) for women. These two small glands are near the bottom of the vulva with openings on either side of the vagina. They are located underneath the skin, and they provide a small amount of lubricant.

 

The G-spot

 

It is more of an area than a spot. Some indicate that you can locate the G-spot by inserting your fingers into your vagina and make the “come here” motion.

When a woman is aroused, this area can get harder, and the texture can change. Some believe that the G-spot is the location of the internal bulbs of the clitoris, which are located behind the left and right walls of the vagina. Therefore, the G-spot is mostly an area... an area about two inches in on the top part of the vagina, facing the internal clitoris region.

Stimulating this at the same time as the external clitoris can create tons of pleasure for women.

The G-spot is one of the most famous areas of female sexual anatomy!

 

Sexual Anatomy

The Hymen

 

A piece of tissue that lines the vaginal opening. It is the “cherry” that is referred to in the common “popped her cherry” slang expression. The hymen is no barometer on whether or not a woman is a virgin. This tissue can be stretched with a finger, tampon, or anything inserted into the vagina. Sometimes the hymen wears away naturally, and sometimes it remains so thick that it makes first penetration extremely painful. If intercourse continues to be painful after penetrated, there is a chance that this barrier has not been broken, and a women can see a gynecologist, who can help with this.

 

The Perineum

 

The piece of skin from the bottom of the vulva to the anus is called the perineum. There are not many nerve endings here for women, and sometimes doctors cut through this skin to open the canal for vaginal births.

 

The Anus

 

The anus has numerous sensitive nerve endings. Many people practice anal sex, and it is important to note that the anus also has the capacity to be penetrated as the vagina does. The only difference is that the anus does not self-lubricate, as does the vagina.

Therefore, when engaging in anal sex, make sure to use a lot of lubricant.

 

Male Sexual Anatomy or the Anatomy of Those Misgendered Male at birth.

 

The Penis

 

In the United States, there is a tendency to put a good deal of emphasis on penis size. In popular media the question is often “How big is he?” which implies the underlying notion that being bigger is better.

 

Bigger is not always better when we talk about sexual anatomy.

 

It is is your relationship with the penis that matters.

 

If you or your partner’s penis gives you pleasure, it is perfect regardless of size.

 

Circumcision

 

It is currently debated in this country whether a man should have a circumcised penis or not. The popular narrative seems to elevate circumcised penises as better or more desirable.

 

Many women indicate that non-circumcised penises have led to more pleasure for them and their partners, because non-circumcised penises are more lubricating than circumcised ones.

 

Some women prefer the look of a circumcised penis, while others do not notice much of a difference. There is nothing to be concerned about if you encounter a non-circumcised penis. It just has some extra skin called the foreskin, which covers the head of the penis while flaccid, and retracts back when the penis is erect. But being a circumcised penis or not is just an aesthetic detail in the sexual anatomy.

 

Erections

 

If a women is in a sexual encounter with a male partner and he is not hard, that is totally normal. Pornography depicts men as always ready to go.

They see a naked woman and are hard almost immediately. Life is not like that.

If you see that your partner’s penis is soft, but he is in the moment with you and giving other signs that he is into the sexual act and enjoying himself, I encourage you to let go of the notion that it should be hard immediately and continue to enjoy each other sexually.

A soft penis is not an automatic indication that your partner is not into the sexual experience.

Soft penises are an indication that blood has not yet entered the penis.

Desire begins in the mind.

Getting upset about a physiological response that those with penises may not have mental control over ruins the moment more than a soft penis does.

Do not put pressure on yourself unless it becomes a constant problem that you can never get an erection while with a partner.

If this is the case, it may be time to discuss what is happening and consult a physician, urologist, and a sex therapist.

 

Difference Between Orgasming and Ejaculating

 

Most people think that it is easy to tell when men have orgasmed, because they ejaculated. Although most men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, this is not always the case. There is a difference between orgasming and ejaculation. Ejaculation is the fluid that is dispelled from the body.

Orgasm can be the emotional, mental, and physical part of this process. People can achieve full-body orgasms using breath-work and relaxation of the mind and body. Sometimes an ejaculatory and full-body orgasm can occur together, and other times, the male body can orgasm without the penis ejaculating at all.

 

Conclusions

 

It is important to understand your anatomy and your partner’s body. Feel free to talk with your friends and sexual partner about your body. Instead of shaming the body, as many are taught to do while growing up, praise it as well as the body of your sexual partner. If you feel attracted to your partner, make sure to say which exact body parts you value. Doing this will also set up the framework for you to appreciate your own body.

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

 

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

 


Sex Connecticut

What is Sexology?

What Is Sexology and What Is It For?

Sexology is the science that studies sex, that simple! To be more specific, it is the science that studies the sexuality of the human being, sexual behavior and its different manifestations. All of these from the psychological and physiological point of view.

 

A sexologist is a professional who performs various tasks: sexual education, guidance, couples’ counseling and intervention, and research.

 

The professional will treat the patient from the psychological and therapeutic point of view since there is a diversity of problems which can be extended to both fields. Including everything that has to do with the relationship between men and women, not only about sexual perfomance; but what happens to their lives too.

 

Communication’s problems, affective needs, maternity-paternity issues, and mediation in separation and divorces are also issues that a sexologist can deal with.

 

Since we have a sex negative and pleasure negative culture, the field of clinical sexology is imperative. - Amanda Pasciucco

 

Sexology also serves as a post-traumatic tool in situations where the sexual integrity of a person has been violated. When sexual abuse occurs, the victim is so affected that psychological therapy is necessary to overcome the trauma. Also, sexual therapy helps to regain his/her sexual life.

.

 

The governing body for sex therapist is American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) mentions as its vision of sexual health to be one where, all individuals are entitled to enjoy:

  • Respect of their sexual thoughts, feelings and fantasies
  • The right to engage in healthy modes of sexual activity,
  • Freedom to exercise behavioral, emotional, economic, and social responsibility for their bodily functioning
  • The power to chose their mode of loving, working, and playing

 

AASECT believes that these rights pertain to all peoples whatever their age, family structure, backgrounds, beliefs, and circumstances"

 

How do I know if I should go to the sexologist or another professional?

 

It is common for a person who encounters a difficulty in their sexual life to ask which specialist should go. To the gynecologist, the urologist, the general practitioner, the endocrinologist, the psychologist, the sexologist ...? The answer varies depending on the specific problem, and whether it has a physical cause or not.

sexologistJust as the sexologist can refer you to another professional, other professional can refer you to the sexologist. This happens when they find that a certain sexual problem exceeds their field of work.

 

Conclusion

 

Sometimes we have problems in our sexual life and, instead of going to a specialist consultation to help us overcome this problem, we let it go by playing down the importance. However, in the same way that when you hurt your teeth you go to the dentist, if there is any dysfunction in your sex life you should go to the specialist: the sexologist.


At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire when it comes to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Female Orgasm

Female Orgasm: Seven Areas of Pleasure

Female Orgasm: Seven Areas of Pleasure

female orgasm

There are many areas of female orgasm, and each are delicious ways of experiencing pleasure.

Today we are speaking to those who have vulvas, not just those who identify as females, because all are welcome here!

An orgasm is the body's response to receiving sexual stimulation from intimate encounters, caresses or intercourse.

For all people. blood accumulates in the genital area during the sexual stimulation process, and it is released when the bodily function of orgasm occurs.

Orgasms are accompanied by a series of sensations that often produce intense pleasure and feelings of sexual satisfaction, adrenaline, oxytocin, and other feel good hormones! 

If I didn't mention the power of the brain and imagination in orgasm, I would be doing us all a disservice. You have to be turned on in your mind - of course! Psychosexual therapy exercises may help if this doesn't make any sense to you!

After you get warmed up, come join us in the seven areas of female orgasms! 

1. Sex for One or More! Clitoral Pleasure in Female Orgasm

This is the most favored area to achieve female orgasm thanks to 8,000 nerve endings. The clitoris is designed to give pleasure and 80% of women report needing direct stimulation of the clitoral glands to have an orgasm.

The sensation is often localized, sharp, powerful, and quick in duration.

Rubbing, oral sex, the use of sex toys or certain postures that favor the friction of the pubis are ways to trigger clitoris stimulation.

2. Entering the Vagina

The walls of the vagina have thousands of nerves that require a patient stimulation rhythm to achieve orgasm. The thing is that the vagina doesn't have the same amount of pleasure that comes from the areas where the clitoris is involved. This is likely due to minimize pain women feel in vaginal childbirth. 

3. Cervical Pleasure

This type of orgasm takes its name from the cervix, which is the female reproductive organ that connects with the uterus. The cervix is three centimeters long and 2.5 centimeters in diameter. First, understand where your cervix is located, and then instruct your partner to massage it with intense strokes. The "doggy style" sex position is good, because penetration is intense and deep.

4. A-Spot Pleasure

The A-spot orgasm is found in the vagina and creates more intense female orgasms - even multiples! The A spot or Anterior Fornix Erogenous (AFE) zone, was reported to be discovered in the 90's by Malaysian doctor, Chua Chee Ann.

It is located above the G spot about 7.5 centimeters from the entrance of the vagina, and on the anterior side, near the cervix.

If you want to explore finding it, sexual positions with penetration from behind, or the missionary position of the jackhammer will help! 

5. The Famous G-Spot

This is one of the most sought after orgasmic experience I am asked about!

Try the following to find your G spot:

  1. Insert a finger into the vagina.
  2. Feel for the front wall (the side where the navel is located).
  3. Move your finger around until you find a spot that feels different when you press or rub it.
  4. If you feel the urge to urinate, do not be concerned - this is normal and it's a good sign.

The most unique aspect of a G spot orgasm is that it can be accompanied by female ejaculation, which is completely normal.

The urethra releases the ejaculation fluid, and it contains prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP)! 

6. The "U-Spot"

The U spot is located at the entrance to the urethra (located just above the vaginal orifice in the middle of the lips).

Many women enjoy a gentle stimulation in this area with fingers and tongue. You will find out that if you are interested in this, oil may feel better than lube! 

7. Full-Body Orgasms

Full-body orgasms occur when a female orgasms throughout her entire body. We recommend full-body orgasms as often as possible! Especially during the same sexual session.

This type of pleasure happens the more you love and the more you know your body!  If you need tips on how to experience sexual nirvana, we can help

The skin is a great source of pleasure - for everyone. The mind as well! 

Explore by yourself or with your partner, and the greater your chances will become of achieving pleasure from multiple areas!

If you still can’t find the courage to tell your partner you want to explore female orgasm or if you are scared to venture into the world of female orgasm alone, contact us. We can guide you!

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (L-CAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained therapists!

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


queer sex therapy

Improving Couples Sex Life

Improving Couples Sex Life

There are many ways to improving a couples sex life, and we help our clients with skills and techniques based on what works the best for them. For some, the key is improved communication, and for others it's finding ways to address their fantasies. Wouldn't it be wonderful to maintain the same spark a couple had when they first met? Quite often, time and friction from everyday life causes a relationship to become routine and the spark slowly fades away. Many couples surrender, accepting this routine sex life or lack of a sex life and do not believe that it's even possible to improve their sex life.

 

The reality is that couples just need a relationship reboot in order to ignite their passion.

 

Below are seven tips on how to keep the spark in your relationship and improve your sex life, because I want you to know that no matter how long you've been a couple, a great sex life is possible at any time.

Work as a Team

 

You are! When you decided to commit yourselves and spend the rest of your lives together, you began a long path. You will both only be victorious if you work together as a team. You must join together in dealing with adversities. Problems arise all the time. There may be arguments about money, kids, and even your sex life, but the only ones that can solve the challenges are you two - working together. You have to learn from mistakes and accept that the person next to you has flaws.

Spice Things Up

 

If you are not having a lot of sex, relax, this is not rare and there is a solution. The first thing you should observe is the daily physical contact that you both have with each other. A hug, a kiss on the cheek or a naughty pat are great gestures if you have not been intimate for a long time.

 

Regular sexual intercourse will naturally increase sexual desire. The same thing applies when sex frequency is low, sexual desire goes down. Having more sex causes the body to start producing more sex hormones that remind you how much you like to have sex.

 

Variety is one way to improve a couples sex life. It makes things exciting and rewarding. One of the main reasons why couples stop having sex is because it becomes routine, boring and predictable. Individuals need emotion, fun and a touch of mystery to activate their desire.

 

Plan a regular date night, and forget about the dishes, kids' homework and problems at work. Take a bath together or share a few glasses of wine to get in the mood. These activities work as passion igniters.

 

Why not venture into something new together? When it comes to bedroom experiences, there are many new things to try in order to improve couples sex life:

 

  1. Practice Karezza sex (a calm and gentle method).
  2. Masturbate and watch your partner masturbate.
  3. Implement (at least) half of the Kama Sutra’s positions
  4. Have cybernetic sex and/or erotic phone calls.
  5. Be blindfolded while making love.
  6. Wear super sexy lingerie and shop for it together.
  7. Encourage an erotic dance.
  8. Use a vibrator or other type of erotic toy.
  9. Tie up your partner, and another day, let him/her tie you.
  10. Seduce him/her with an erotic costume.
  11. Practice tantric sex
  12. Have sex in the shower.
  13. Read erotic literature.
  14. Try a sexual role play.
  15. Share your fantasies (and put them into practice).
  16. Wake him/her up in the middle of the night to make love.
  17. Practice "wet" fetishism or splosh sex (cover your partner with wet food, such as cream, before having sex)
  18. Have "morning quickies" before going to work.
  19. Make love with candlelight.
  20. View pornography together and try to imitate it.
  21. Play "strip poker" and undress little by little.

Go Out for Adventures Together

 

Just as you must experiment in the bedroom, you must also do so in everyday life - I am not talking about sex. Go for a walk in the park together, or go out for coffee like you did when you first met. Your relationship is not limited within the house.

It may sound silly or too obvious, but how many times have you heard your partner say "we never do things together” or “we never go anywhere"? There are many options and the most entertaining are usually the lowest cost or free.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

 

Communication is not the solution to all your problems, but it is essential if you want to lay the foundation for a strong future. Most detachments occur when we misinterpret the other person or simply stop communicating. Sit down to enjoy a night together and ask again all the things you asked each other when you first met.

 

Ask For What You Really Want

 

A common mistake is to wait for your partner to do something without ever telling him/her what it is you desire. Your partner is not a mind reader no matter how much time you have spent together, or how well you think you know each other. If you really want something, express it in the proper way.

Explain What You Think or How You Feel

 

Clearly say what you think or how you feel - both positive and negative thoughts and feelings, but always be respectful of each other. There is no better way for your partner to understand you than when you show your emotions. Do not assume that your partner will know how you feel.

 

Take Care of Yourself

 

You have to invest in yourself in order to improve your self-esteem. Your partner will love you now matter how you look, but when you feel good about yourself it will improve your attitude, which can help with your relationship. Only you can decide if you let external factors affect your self-esteem.

 

Regular exercise, for example, will not only improve your health, but your body will start producing more serotonin, which regulates the state of mood. That is why it is also known as a happiness hormone. You must love and be happy with yourself so that your partner can also love you without restrictions.

 

Conclusion:

 

Regardless of the reasons, such as stress, lack of intimacy or poor communication that cause a couple to lose their spark, it is possible to improve couples sex life by breaking out of their routine, trying new things, and acting like they are dating again in order to ignite the passion that originally brought them together.

 

Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What we do, call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


how to find a sex therapist

Is The G-Spot Real Or A Myth?

Is The G Spot Real Or A Myth? (SEX EXPERT REVEALS THE TRUTH)

 

Debunking the G-Spot! I know this catchy term has been thrown here and there, but what have you thought of it as? Have you ever asked, “Is the G Spot real”? The female G Spot is a mystery that’s for sure!

 

The questions about it have been how to find the G Spot, where is the G Spot, and even... does the G Spot exist? We’ve seen the term thrown here and there as the magical place, the vagina g spot, to hit for a g spot orgasm! You've probably failed and asked yourself, is there a G Spot? Is the G Spot a myth? Have you ever asked yourself how I can find my G-Spot? You’ll find the answer to that question here from your very own sex therapist --  I will reveal the truth about the famous vagina G Spot!  Let me tell you how to get a G Spot orgasm with today's sex education!

 

If you're like most people, you probably thought it was one specific anatomical spot that could induce an orgasm in the vagina.... Well here's the truth. As long as the front wall of the vagina is hit-- you've hit the so-called G-Spot. It's more an area than a spot. To learn more about what produces or makes up the G-Spot, head over to this video!