Is Poor Breathing Hurting Your Sex Life?

October 3, 2019/in Lifestyle, Relationship Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Is Poor Breathing Hurting Your Sex Life?

Learn How Breathing Can Enhance Sexual Pleasure

Millions of us walk around every day going to work, doing chores, and spending time with loved ones without breathing properly. Breathing correctly doesn’t get a lot of attention because it comes as second nature.

We do it without thinking and a lot of us feel that as long as we’re still alive, we must be breathing well. In fact, some simple lessons on which muscles we should use to activate breathing can improve posture, build core strength and increase energy.

Better oxygen flow helps us live healthier lives free from anxiety.

Managing breath improves sleep, puts us in better moods and can also enhance sexual pleasure!

In addition, focusing on driving air into our bellies when we inhale helps activate our diaphragms. When the diaphragm is activated, lungs expand more fully and improves the gas exchange that takes fresh oxygenated blood to the heart and expels old air.

Deeper breaths help us relax and improve our state of mind.

Following simple steps can have a profound impact on our lives. It’s driven research into various ways specific breathing behaviors can affect other areas of life. One particularly interesting area is the study of breathing and enhancement of sexual pleasure.

Follow this guide to learn about how controlling your breathing can make you feel better during sex, have better orgasms and connect more deeply with your partner.

Controlled Breathing Helps You Relax

It’s hard for some of us to get in the zone romantically.

While men seem to be able to conjure a sexual state of mind almost instantly, it isn’t necessarily true. Additionally, many women report that clearing their minds is necessary to focus on giving and receiving sexual pleasure.

Taking controlled, deep breaths facilitates a clear mind and a relaxed mood.

There are reasons why yoga and meditation focus so heavily on breathing. Controlling airflow calms the body.

As we calm down, we become more aware of our bodies, what’s occurring around us, and how something makes us feel.

Focused breathing helps take us away from worrying and centers us into intimate moments.

Remembering to Breathe Can Get You to Orgasm

Believe it or not, researchers have found that many women who struggle to orgasm tend to hold their breath during sex. Even when they breathe, it’s often shallow and indicative of stress as they make love.

When it is a challenge to orgasm, it can be burdensome to intimacy in relationships.

Men can feel like they are doing something wrong, and women struggle with the pressure to orgasm. This pressure often builds and develops into a harmful cycle of shaming and blaming.

We don’t want to oversimplify intimacy struggles. We know that women deal with deep-rooted issues around sexuality that make opening up to intimacy hard. However, state of mind is so important in sexual situations.

Tantric Breathing Basics

Deep breathing into the belly increases blood flow around the body. Your touch receptors will be activated, resulting in enhancement of sexual pleasure.

Just like we’re taught to drive breaths into our bellies throughout the day, pushing breaths into the genitals and pelvic area can heighten sensitivity and make achieving orgasm easier.

This is sometimes referred to as tantric breathing.

Tantric breathing involves the heightening of sexual pleasure by using the breath to achieve higher erotic states. Tantric sex has been practiced in other parts of the world for thousands of years but has become more popular in the United States in recent decades.

Here’s a basic tantric breathing exercise you can try:

Laying down or in a sitting position, place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Inhale deeply, feeling the expansion of your chest and then belly. As you exhale, pay attention to the tightening of muscles in your lower abdomen and pelvis. Focus energy in your pelvis as you breathe out.
As you breathe out, visualize love and energy being emitted from your heart across your whole body. Let it encompass you and build slowly.
As the energy builds, try breathing with your mouth somewhat heavily. Many women report the panting noise of their breath is sometimes enough to get them aroused. Picture your breaths moving down your chest as you inhale and up your back on exhale.
Once you’re comfortable with the this pattern, start to gently contract pelvic muscles each time you exhale to direct blood flow to your vagina.
Repeat the exercise regularly to develop body and muscle control. As you do it more often, it will help you feel more comfortable. You will enter into a state of arousal that will help things move along faster when you’re having sex.

Don’t Be Afraid to Practice Breathing Techniques

Improving breathing and the enhancement of sexual pleasure takes work. You’re probably not going to notice a dramatic change the first time you try. Using breathing to manipulate your body takes time and practice.

Don’t be afraid to spend some time alone with yourself to find out how your body responds to different breathing patterns. Try focusing on breathing into your pelvis without touch first. See if vaginal lubrication can happen just by focusing on breathing into the pelvis.

Slowly progress into self-touch and then touch with a partner and see what happens.

Breathing Can Improve Orgasms

Breathing and the enhancement of sexual pleasure aren’t just for women who have a hard time achieving orgasm. We’re all on a journey to discover and develop our sexual selves. Even if you don’t struggle with intimacy, breathing practices can help improve orgasm frequency and intensity. Just like a lot of women who have a hard time acheiving orgam and hold their breath during sex, most women breath shallowly and less often as they approach climax.

Pay attention to your breathing the next time you make love or masturbate. Notice how things change as you move through the stages of arousal. If you notice yourself holding your breath before or during orgasm, try to relax. You might learn something that works better for you and your partner. A lot of women report longer, more intense orgasms, which are never a bad thing!

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Sexting Messages and Flirting – Hormones Involved

September 30, 2019/in Couples, Relationship Tips, Sex Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Sexting Messages and Flirting – Hormones Involved in Sexting and Long-Term Monogamy

The different ways in which people get into personal relationships have evolved dramatically during the past two decades – one such method is sexting messages.

The increased and easy availability of technological instruments including cell phones, computers, video cams and has caused a dramatic effect on your social life.

One fairly novel phenomenon, which started after the flooding of new kinds of means of communication, is sexting.

Sexting refers to the receiving and sending of sexually explicit text and/or photos using your cell phones with cameras or other types of electronic devices.

Though this term is still not present in most of the academic literature. It has taken the electronic media by storm.

According to a study done by “The Kinsey Institute” in 2017, about 74% of the people in the USA have been involved in sexting, which is a phenomenal increase from 2012.

A study conducted by Indiana University in 2019 examined sexting behaviors and attitudes including those involving sexually explicit images and messages. This sample included more than 5,000 single adults in the age group 21 and 75 years.

Of the people who were surveyed, 21% reported that they sent sext messages, while 28% reported that they received them. Moreover, 16% of them reported that they sent sexually explicit photos, while greater than 23% disclosed that they received sexual photos. It was also found in the study that most of the sexting occurs between couples who already had an established relationship. Furthermore, out of the people who sent sext messages, 78% of females and 66% of males did it to flirt with their partner.

If you have ever received sexual content on your phone, then you may have noticed that your mind starts racing and your body begins to buzz all over within a few seconds of scanning it. Have you ever pondered over the question that why sexting or sending and receiving sexual content turns you on?

There are many scientific reasons to explain the reason behind this.

The changes that take place in your brain when you receive sexual content or a sexting message

You may think that sex begins in the body; however, it begins in the brain. Common triggers that stimulate your brain and excite you can include hearing your partner’s voice saying dirty words, seeing a sensuous image, or smelling your partner’s cologne.

Sexting messages is no different!

When you get a sext, the brain stimulates the various neurochemicals and hormones of pleasure such as dopamine. In women, the hormone oxytocin is also stimulated. This hormone that plays a vital role in motherhood and intensifies the feelings associated with joy and happiness of closeness.

When you combine closeness and pleasure, you may get aroused sexually, even from sending and receiving sexual content or sexting. In males, the vasopressin hormone helps in increasing sexual pleasure.

Dopamine helps your brain in recognizing a reward you can get by doing something and then in taking action to fulfill it. It is also somehow associated with addiction. You get a sext – it creates good feelings, and immediately you crave more. Hence, the moment your phone rings or makes a sound, you want to pick it up instantly.

Why do you turn on physically during sexting messages?

According to health experts, sexting acts as a powerful physical turn-on as you can get without removing your clothes. While participating in sexting you can behave in a manner with your partner that you may not be ready to act out yet. Furthermore, it does not require you to worry about providing enough physical pleasure to your partner. Your sexting partner is not present in the same room. Therefore, you won’t be pressured to reach orgasm or letting your partner finish. Sexting is involvement in sexual responsiveness that is worry-free.

Apart from this the digital seduction, sexting has other benefits too. According to a 2018 study printed in the journal “Computers in Human Behavior,” individuals who sext on a regular basis with their respective partners had better sexual satisfaction and sex lives in comparison to those individuals who didn’t sext. Hence, sexting may come with major rewards in your relationships.

Why sexting turns on some more than others?

Most of you may appreciate sexting occasionally. But just like any other thing related to sex, it may turn-on some people more than others. More than just the hormones. It’s related to the comfort level you have with your sexuality and how vocal you are about it. You may feel awkward while sexting; for instance, it may feel scary to reveal your sexual fantasies to your partner. You may feel too embarrassed and vulnerable by uncovering your secret desires to them.

Furthermore, you should have enough comfort level with your partner to whom you are sexting. For instance; you may find it easier to send a provocative sext to your long-term partner in comparison to a person you met at a bar recently.

The hormones involved in long-term monogamy

According to research conducted at the “Bonn University Medical Center,” situated in Germany and published in the journal “Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences,” oxytocin is the hormone that results in monogamy in humans. Oxytocin stimulates the reward system of your brain on viewing your partner, increasing the attractiveness of the partner; thereby, strengthening monogamy.

During the study, 40 men who had a permanent relationship with their partner were shown photographs of their female partners and also photographs of other females.

They were also given oxytocin via nasal spray and a dose of placebo after a gap of some days. It was found that oxytocin stimulates the brain’s reward center of the men while seeing their partner’s photo. And they found them more attractive in comparison to other females.

Scientists also looked at the effects of oxytocin on men when they looked at photographs of female colleagues at work and acquaintances. However, it was found that familiarity was not enough to activate the brain’s reward system by oxytocin. To put it differently, to cause the oxytocin hormone’s bonding effect, being familiar with a female is not sufficient; both the partners should be in a loving and long-term relationship.

References

Get your guide to connect more today

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

September 25, 2019/in Free eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips, Sex Tips, The Sex Healer/by Amanda Pasciucco

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide: Unleash Self Pleasure to Heal Yourself and Transform Your Sex Life

I’m Amanda Pasciucco (pronounced Pa-shoe-ko), and as a certified sex therapis and founder of a life coaching and therapy practice, I’ve met many couples that felt bored in their relationship and wanted to spice things up, which is why I created The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide.

Not only that, but I have met hundreds of individuals who were not having fun in their dating life or while masturbating.

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

These are problems I have solved for clients many times, and I can help you too. I have been practicing psychotherapy and couples’ therapy for more than 10 years. I am a natural matchmaker at heart. My passion is helping others find the love of their lives, find THEIR pleasure, and learn how to love themselves.

What I share with clients helps them transform their sex lives and relationships, and now I’m going to share my best techniques, practices and beliefs with you.

So, are you ready?

It’s Time to Improve Your Intimate Life with The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide!

I am going to teach you a type of pleasure that you will grow to crave.

Even if you are self conscious or feel like you have tried everything and are hopeless.

It’s time to find your sexual confidence! It’s time to find your inner flirt!

Find out where you may be BLOCKING yourself due to negative belief systems you have about your body or your desires!

Why do some people have what you want? The difference between you and them may be some knowledge and a little confidence.

Download the e-guide below and forward it to any friends who can benefit from this valuable advice!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. Or if you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

How Your Sense of Smell and Taste Affects Your Sexual Experiences

September 23, 2019/in Relationship Tips, Sex Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

How Your Sense of Smell and Taste Affects Your Sexual Experiences

When you are having sex with someone, there is no avoiding sexual smell and taste!

Smell and taste REALLY can affect your sex life. If you want to heighten your sexual pleasure, consider the importance of these two senses when it comes to impacting lust and attraction!

Most sexual activity comes with some form of bodily fluid exchange. If having sex is accompanied with something that you were taught to be “disgusted by,” subconsciously, a part of you will feel disgusted during sex.

Look at the length you have gone through in your life to cover up your smell using deodorant, soap, perfumes, and scented feminine hygiene products.

Many of us carry shame when it comes to the way we smell and taste. We are sold products to keep us clean. We are constantly inundated with the message that something about our genitals is wrong and must be avoided.

For those who are advanced sexually you were taught to eat different foods so your sexual parts will smell better. Newsflash – that is still shaming and judgemental!

I’ve learned that most people have negative feelings when it comes to their own or another’s fluids and smells. This does not include fluids and smells from bacterial or sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This insight is based on more than 15,000 clinical hours of experience I’ve had speaking to those from an array of backgrounds.

Here are some of the most common negative taste and smell examples:

Disgusted to kiss their partners after going down on them.
Partners that refuse cunnilingus or intercourse with menstruating women.
Joking about vaginas smelling “like fish” or cum being “gross” and “repulsive.”
Telling their partner to shave off body hair, because it holds the sweat.

Why are Tastes and Smells an Important Part of Sex?

We are animals and have instinctual, primal tendencies that dictate our sexual behaviors, desires, attractions, and sometimes turn ons!

Chemical communication plays an important role in the social interactions and mating behavior of diverse animals, yet its role in humans remains unknown.

Pheromones – substances which are secreted to the outside (secretions such as urine, semen or vaginal secretions, breast milk and potentially also saliva and breath, yet most attention thus far has been directed toward axillary sweat) by an individual, and received by a second individual of the same species. When pheromones are released they cause a specific reaction, for example, a definite behavior or a developmental process. They are present in all bodily secretions. Aandrostadienone is a pheromone that is present at much higher concentrations in male sweat and can be detected by women. Androstadienone improves mood. A positive mood and heightened focus are important for a women’s sexual response and sexual satisfaction.
Copulins – chemical fluids secreted by a vagina are chemical messengers that are emitted from the body that end up activating specific behavioral or physiological responses in those around them.

Whether you know it or not, these pheromones and copulin could be playing a key part in attraction.

How Can We Embrace our Senses During Sex?

Enough is enough! WE MUST END SEXUAL SHAMING OF SCENTS AND FLUIDS FOR MORE DELICIOUS PLEASURE.

Start by tasting or smelling your OWN fluids! This is one of the TOP tips from the Queen of Female Masturbation and the woman that put the vibrator on the map, Betty Dodson.

I recommend that you try to release some of your inhibitions and enjoy the tastes and smells of your sexual partner. Being comfortable with the taste and scent of your lover can be an incredibly amazing, pleasure-enhancing experience.

I promise, you are not “weird,” or “disgusting” if you kiss your partner after they go down on you! It is HOT, and it is a sign of confidence.

Nothing is that bad about your partner’s or your own taste and smell!

sexual smell and taste

I recommend looking deeper into these aversions and questioning whether it may be something you wish to overcome. Because nothing compares to having a partner who loves the way you taste and smell.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Exercises for Better Sex – Ladies, Check it Out!

September 20, 2019/in Couples, Relationship Tips, Sex Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Exercises for Better Sex – Ladies, Check it Out!

Did you know that there are exercises for better sex?

Prepping for sex isn’t easy…especially as a woman!

Sometimes, you need to shower, and sometimes, you want to shave.

Maybe you need to change your clothes or sometimes even your mindset!

Preparing for sex can be stressful…and stress kills the chance that you will have SATISFYING sex – emotionally, mentally, and physically.

If you take our advice and follow the exercises listed, you too can improve your sex life!

The BIGGEST mistake that people make when it comes to sex is getting advice from people who are only going at it from their personal experience.

Personal experience is VERY limited when it comes to a topic as important as sexuality. Don’t see any just therapist. Please, find someone who knows what they are talking about!

In 15,000 hours of client research and all but completing a dissertation in clinical sexology, I am going to share my greatest exercise secrets for women to experience better sexual satisfaction!

Breathing Exercise for Better Orgasms

Being mindful about breathing is one of the easiest ways to improve your sexual pleasure. It’s also one of the most common things we overlook.

Remember to lock into your lovers breathing as a quick way to connect during sex. It’s the easiest way to figure out the flavor of sex they are interested in. Long, deep breaths.

In the nose and out the mouth!

When you inhale, your stomach goes OUT.

When you exhale your stomach sucks IN.

Inhale through the nose – BELLY OUT.

Exhale through the mouth – BELLY IN!

Notice your hips and thighs wherever you are seated.

Inhale through the nose.

Exhale through the mouth.

Open your eyes and come back to the present moment!

It is really important to breathe through things like seduction, sex, and intimate moments.

Breathing slows down everything to a more PRESENT and more AWARE state of being.

If you are not comfortable with where you are positioned move around and get comfortable. Connect your body to the rhythm of your inhale pushing your stomach out. and as you exhale suck in your stomach.

Breathing and being engaged with your inhales and exhales is the quickest and easiest way to transform your sexual life if you desire better and stronger orgasms.

Last Longer During Sex

In my 10 years of being a therapist, I have realized that there is no “optimal” level of speed, pressure, or sexual frequency that’s guaranteed to increase happiness in the bedroom.

All sexual individuals do seem to agree on one thing – they want the CHOICE for sex to last as long as they want it to last.

Many times, we rely on the physical body to lead the way and our bodies aren’t always able to maintain stamina during sex.

If you have no motivation to get your body in shape, then get a personal trainer! It truly changed my life!

Here is a quick version of what you can do to strengthen your body:

Physical Exercises for Better Sex

Set a timer for 20 minutes and repeat this routine until the timer goes off or until you can’t anymore!

Plank for 30 seconds
Glute bridges for 15 reps
Squats for 10-15 reps
10 Kegels for 10 reps

Planks for Endurance!

Core strength is paramount for good health – sex included. Planks are a great way to build muscles around your abs, back, and pelvis. All of this can make a difference for lasting longer in bed.

If you have never done a plank, I suggest you do what my trainer, Pascale Lean, taught me: put a broom handle on your back, and line it up with your spine to make sure you are doing it right.

Start in a pushup position and then drop to your elbows. Your feet should be closer than shoulder-width apart with your toes grounded into the floor.
The core needs to be tight to prevent your lower back from sagging. Your shoulders should roll back and down, and your neck and head should be neutral to maintain a straight line.

Thrust Better with Glute Bridges!

Glute bridges not only work the pelvic floor, they also help your hamstrings and glutes so you can thrust better, providing more pleasure for you and your partner.

Lie on a mat, knees bent, feet on the ground, and palms on the floor at your sides.
Focus on your core as you push through your heels, raising your pelvis off the ground. Ensure that your shoulders and upper back stay glued to the mat.
When you reach a stiff bridge position at the top, squeeze your glutes. Then slowly lower back down.

Squats for Sensations!

If you feel like you have a low sex drive GET YOUR SQUAT AND LUNGES ON!

This powerful pleasure-enhancing exercise can increase testosterone (women have testosterone too!) levels increasing blood flow to the pelvic region, which helps with more intense sensations.

Squats are great for toning and shaping the legs and booty. Additionally, all that blood pumping below the waist can also improve your ability to become aroused during sex.

Oh…and squats strengthen and prepare you for those times you’d like to get into a different sexy position, such as girl on top. You will be doing more work, so you will need the endurance if you want to try some of the more fun positions.

Stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart and arms down at your side. Women with WIDE hips, point your toes out at a 45 degree angle to prevent knee issues.
Keeping your heels on the floor and most of your weight on your heels, initiate a bend at the waist first, then bend the knees, as if sitting in a chair.

Kegels for Strength and Sometimes Pride

You probably know that keeping your pelvic floor strong is important for avoiding any embarrassing accidents and prolapses, but did you realize it’s critical for a good sex life too?

Vaginas are pretty temperamental sometimes, and for some women, their muscles squeeze or spasm when something is entering it. This feeling can range from mildly uncomfortable to painful.

If intercourse has been painful, the pelvic floor muscles, which wrap around the vagina, tighten up and close the vagina protectively. That could be a good idea initially, but not if they don’t open up again. Sex won’t be fun!

There are exercises a woman can do that may help called Kegel Exercises.

To perform Kegel exercises effectively, you’ll need to first identify the right muscles. The easiest way to do this is to stop urination midstream. The muscles that help you do that are the ones used in Kegels.
Contract these muscles as much as possible and hold for a goal of 5 seconds. Release for 5.
If you’re just starting, work your way up! Do 50% squeeze instead of 100% for the first week! For best results, practice 10 Kegels three times a day – not just during your sex workout.

If you have pelvic floor issues I highly recommend going to a pelvic floor physical therapist. If you live near West Hartford CT, I know the best pelvic floor PT in the state! Feel free to reach out and I will give you the contact info.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Dating Consultant: A Faster Way to Dating Success

September 16, 2019/in Dating/by Amanda Pasciucco

Dating Consultant: A Faster Way to Dating Success

A dating consultant, also called a dating coach, advises people who are struggling to find a partner or spouse!

If you are unlucky in love or can’t seem to find “the one,” consider hiring a dating consultant to help you achieve dating success.

Sometimes, it feels like online dating and friends’ matchmaking efforts can take forever. A dating consultant helps make the process go a lot faster, and helps you with interpersonal skills you need to find the right match for you.

Dating consultants can work with clients through in-person appointments, texting, and online video chat methods. They provide you with a variety of strategies and techniques based on what you need most.

Dating consultants are often stigmatized, because people believe that teaching romance is “demeaning” and “unethical,” while others believe it is “impossible.”

How a Dating Consultant Can Help You!

Improve Your Current Relationship

Dating consultants aren’t just for singles. They can also be helpful for established relationships, or for the early stages of dating.

Identifying Green and Red Flags

We all understand that there are certain relationship red flags to avoid. Your coach can help you know and recognize what to look out for in a partner. Dating consultants help you pick quality partners by knowing what traits you ought to aim for based on your personality, characteristics, quirks, goals, and values.

Help You Find Love

Your dating consultant helps you to optimize your strengths and manage your weaknesses on the path to finding love. This also includes building your self-worth and self-esteem!

Almost any dating expert will tell you that the first step to finding love is to love yourself first. Self love leads to confidence and confidence is sexy!

Understand Your Unhealthy Patterns

Sometimes we fall into patterns, and we keep following a pattern long after its usefulness is gone. This happens in relationships and dating too.

Dating consultants are able to help you pinpoint negative patterns you didn’t realize you were following. Then, you can break these patterns, and create a new path to dating success based on the qualities you want in a partner.

Optimize Your Online Dating Profiles

If you are interested in online dating, getting your online profile optimized is critical.

You may not be an expert at this, or you may not like to talk about yourself.

A dating consultant can help you make your profile and photos look appealing and represents you honestly!

It is crucial to choose the right dating consultant if you want to get results. There are MANY consultants out there that have the skills, but don’t get their clients the results.

The best consultants don’t just tell you what to do. Just like a good therapist, they give you the framework and structure to help you figure it out for yourself.

Dating consultants should guide you in the beginning as needed, then they ensure you have the skills and communications tools before you are done with their programs.

If you are tired of not getting results in your dating life, try Life Coaching and Therapy’s team of therapists and dating consultants.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Online Therapy for Couples or Individuals

September 13, 2019/in Online Therapy/by Amanda Pasciucco

Online Therapy for Couples or Individuals

Have you heard about online therapy to solve your issues?

Although it is a relatively new practice, online therapy and texting with a coach is the fastest way to get the results you want!

Why Online Therapy?

Rather than setting up appointments for in-person sessions, just text your coach! You’re assigned a coach who gets back to you quickly, which is ideal when you need answers in a fast-paced world. Another key benefit is that you can always quickly refer to your past conversations!

Getting to an appointment to see a therapist or coach can be difficult and less frequent. This can be due to traffic, transit costs, disability, medical conditions, scheduling, or anxiety. Online therapy is easy, convenient and as frequent as you need it.

Who Can Benefit?

Online therapy and texting works with a diverse variety of clients!

Presenting issues such as:

Affairs
Infertility
Sexual Dysfunction
Building Self Confidence
Depression
Anxiety

How can it work for all of these issues? Well, text therapy works on your terms! Even those who are newly dating can get an extra push to help with what they need.

Effective Online Therapy

Just like all successful therapy, an assessment period is required to make sure that you are a candidate for online therapy. Millennials and Gen Xers alike all seem to love the option of texting instead of driving into the office. See some examples of online therapy conversations below:

Learn more, and sign up here for our online therapy program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Amanda Pasciucco Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Couples Cure text therapy program.

If you know someone who would benefit from sex, intimacy and relationship knowledge, feel free to send them a link to Amanda’s YouTube channel – The Sex Healer!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Five Love Languages

September 9, 2019/in Couples, Lifestyle, Relationship Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Five Love Languages

Do you know what the Five Love Languages are and how this concept can solve your relationship problems?

In 10 years of practicing individual and couples therapy, I’ve found that the five love languages helps pretty much any relationship, not just romantic ones.

It is useful to understand what matters to people and what type of love they want to receive from you! It is different if they are a romantic partner.

The Five Love Languages was created by relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts in 1992.

It outlines five ways to express and experience love between romantic partners that Chapman calls “love languages.”

It takes more than the occasional great date to keep your relationship afloat. In fact, Dr. Gary Chapman, says the key to a lasting relationship is learning love languages.

Getting to know a person in a romantic relationship is a gradual process. Over time, you learn more and more about them, including their likes and dislikes and how they think.

When you realize what your partner does and doesn’t care about, you can have a better relationship.

The concept of love languages is actually quite simple. There are five of them, each describing an expression of—you guessed it—love. The key, according to Chapman, is discovering which love language you and your partner respond to the most, then regularly putting that into practice.

The Five Love Languages Defined

Gifts:

This love language might seem materialistic, but you don’t have to drop hundreds of dollars if this is your partner’s love language. It could be one flower or a favorite chocolate or dessert.

A gift says, “my partner was thinking about me.” Gifts could be tangible or intangible items that make you feel appreciated or noticed.

Going to your partner’s favorite concert, for example, is as much of a gift as flowers or that new wine decanter you want.

To individuals who favor this love language, the absence of everyday gestures that show you remember them or a missed special occasions can be particularly harmful.

Quality Time:

This means giving your partner your undivided attention! Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV and cell phones off – talking AND listening.

Put phones aside, turn all noise off, and just be with each other.

Try your hardest not to flake on a date or check your phone when you’re together, because this can be hurtful to a quality time person.

Acts of Service:

Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.

Another part of acts of service is not doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.

On the flip side, the way to disappoint a partner who appreciates act of service is through inaction. Either being too lazy or too disengaged to notice that you are making a mess or taking away your partner’s free time by the extra work you create.

If you are someone who leaves a mess behind, sometimes this hurts your partner, because it increases your partner’s workload.

Physical Touch:

Physical expressions of love, whether sexual or cuddling are important! These include: holding hands, a back massage, a hug, making out, sexual connection, or dancing.

The absence of physical touch can leave some individuals feeling isolated in a relationship.

This one can sometimes be seen as particularly important in monogamous relationships where one partner has no other choice for physical connection.

Words of Affirmation:

These are verbal expressions of care and affection.

“Thanks for putting the kids to bed” or “you looked really nice today.”

Other examples include: writing a poem, or sending your partner a song that reminds you of them and telling them to listen to the lyrics.

Also consider telling your partner what you love about them, and writing a list of their greatest characteristics.

Insults can be particularly upsetting to people who favor words of affirmation.

How Do I Know My Love Languages?

To learn which love language best represents you, head to 5lovelanguages.com and take their quiz. Then, you will get scored from 1 to 12 on all five love languages.

The one you score highest on is your primary language, while the lower scores are languages that you use less often and have less of an emotional affect on you.

You and your partner can consider taking this quiz together, then you both know how to best communicate and act to support each other’s needs.

Love languages can’t fix everything, of course. But the concept does go a long way in communicating better, and we all know how much that matters in a relationship.

If you want more information similar to this, check my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer and sign up for our weekly posts.

(LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

If you like this post, share it on social media. If you want to start your journey into the love languages, start here!

Sex and Intimacy Workshops

September 5, 2019/in Couples, Events, Life Coaching and Therapy News, Lifestyle, Relationship Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Sex and Intimacy Workshops for Couples and Singles

Finally…sex and intimacy workshops for couples and singles are being held in September. Two workshops will be held at Middletown and Rocky Hill, CT locations.

There are several components to having a healthy relationship with ourselves and others, and amazing sex is one factor.

Across the genders, everyone wants and craves sex and intimacy. Whether we are married or single or in some unclassifiable state in between.

According to multiple studies, sex boosts happiness, because it makes people feel more satisfied with their significant other and with their selves.

If your sex life has fizzled out and you’re having trouble getting it back on track, you and your partner might consider attending our Sex and Intimacy Workshops. Additionally, talking with a Certificated Sex Coach is another option if you prefer on-site sessions, text or video chat therapy.

My colleague, Dr. Sara Frawley, and I will present two workshops in September about dating, cultural shame, codependency, self love, and the Erotic Anatomy.

Sex and Intimacy Workshops:

For Singles – The Sex Ed You Never Got in High School

Join us to get a refresher course on erogenous anatomy, discuss applying a Zen philosophy to dating, and explore different aspects of human sexuality.

Date/Time: Wednesday, September 18th at 6:30 p.m

Location: Middlesex Community College (Chapman Hall Room 808), 100 Training Hill Rd, Middletown, CT

Cost: $30 each

Register at Eventbrite

For Couples – The Sex Ed You Never Got in High School

Join us to explore those burning relationship questions and take your relationship to the next level.

Date/Time: Sunday, September 22nd at 2:30 p.m

Location: The Barre CT, 412 Cromwell Ave., Rocky Hill, CT

Cost: $35 per couple

Register at Eventbrite

Facebook Event

Tickets include light refreshments, Kava Kava ‘cocktails’ and all the supplies needed for a great class. For more information please call Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) at (203) 293-7293 or email us at: info@lcatllc.com

About the Sex and Intimacy Webinar Educators

Sara B. Frawley

Sara B. Frawley is a Naturopathic Doctor (ND), a chemist, and a human biology professor. Dr. Frawley is the owner of Ground Force Medicine in Wallingford and Cromwell, CT, as well as the founder of Ground Force Supplements.

Amanda Pasciucco

Amanda Pasciucco is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and has certification as a Sex Therapist from the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT). She is a national sexuality educator, and the practice owner of Life Coaching and Therapy in West Hartford, CT.

Few of us know everything about sex, however, here’s your chance to learn more.

Please join Sara B. Frawley, ND and Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT at these two amazing Sex and Intimacy Workshops.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Couples Cure text therapy program.

If you know someone who would benefit from sex, intimacy and relationship knowledge, feel free to send them a link to Amanda’s YouTube channel – The Sex Healer!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Tied Up Sex – Why do People Enjoy it?

September 2, 2019/in Lifestyle, Relationship Tips, Sex Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Tied Up Sex – Why do People Enjoy it?

Are you curious about what people enjoy about tied up sex?

Are you confused or afraid of people’s motivation for doing bondage or binding with their partners?

When you ask people what they enjoy about tied up sex, you will get a wide variety of answers and a few awkward jokes.

You will find that most binding practitioners are motivated largely by their partners pleasure.

To really understand tied up sex, you first have to tunderstand what makes a person want to be bound.

Why do People Enjoy Tied Up Sex?

Control

Some do it for control, or the “feeling of control.”

We’re talking about consensual bondage so your partner (the one being tied up) can take control back at any moment with a safeword or a prearranged signal.

Why control though?

What is it about control that is so appealing?

I think that in many cases it is related to the contrast with daily life.

Very often at work and in life we feel no sense of certainty or structure at all.

Your boss may seem to micromanage your every move. You may feel like your life isn’t your own if you have to care for a crying baby every day. Or you are held captive to your mobile phone to respond to pinging text messages.

During the bondage process,, you can experience an awesome feeling of “presentness” that we rarely achieve in our daily lives.

This can lead to a powerful sense of caregiving.

Fun and Mischief

I think another reason people like to tie people up during sex is for fun – pure mischief.

There are some people that just can’t resist the opportunity for mischief. You may have felt this before when you unexpectedly encountered a friend sleeping.

Did you stop to consider for just a moment the fun of that situation? Wasn’t that thought fun, even if you didn’t act on it?

It is no coincidence that often one of the first things neophyte bondage do is tickle their “victims.”

Relieve Modesty

For some it can be about enjoying the helplessness of their partner. This may be particularly true if your partner is a bit shy with their body. Binding enables you to relieve them of their modesty while you explore them more

carefully at your leisure.

Exhibitionism and Thrill Seeking

For some, it is about exhibitionism and thrill seeking. This is particularly true of those that attend bondage events.

They enjoy showing off their skills doing crazy circus tricks to be admired by other attendees. It isn’t as shallow as it sounds, because it’s a bonding community experience to share kinks with other like-minded people.

Overcome the Fear of Rejection

If your partner is bound and gagged, then they can’t really express judgement of what you want, however with consensual bondage, they can withdraw consent.

Sometimes this can be helpful for those that may suffer from performance anxiety or shame about their sexual desires.

Often the person tying can discover desires that they didn’t realize they even had once their partner is bound.

Aesthetic

There are some that simply enjoy the aesthetic appeal of the bound body. They are willing to go to great lengths to decorate and adorn their partner to make them into their fantasy object.

It is a way that many people receive significance. They create art with their bodies in beautiful rope patterns between the rigger (or rope artist) and the model. Then, they take pictures so they have their art in their mind. It can be printed so the moment is captured forever.

Fetish

This article wouldn’t be complete without addressing the pure fetish aspect of it. Some people just need bondage to be able to function sexually at all.

For these people who so often feel rejected for their deviant desires, the trust of a willing participant is incredibly healing.

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Open Relationship – Get Ready, Get Set, Go For It!

August 29, 2019/in Couples, Life Coaching and Therapy News, Lifestyle, Relationship Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Open Relationship – Get Ready, Get Set, Go For It!

I’m excited to announce that I did an interview last Monday with The New York Times on open relationship trends! (I will post the article once it is published.)

I am beyond excited to be one of the millennial pioneers revolutionizing how we embrace all types of sexual and romantic relationships!

As many of you may know from my article on polyamory, times are changing and monogamy is not the only style of relationship that couples are considering.

According to a study in 2017, it is estimated that about one in five people have been in a consensually non-monogamous relationship at some point in their life. That is over 20% of Americans!

With our changing times, I expect that number to keep rising.

Open Relationship SCORE CARD. We are only using A’s for results!

If you scored 0 A’s – Go out and find a willing partner! Maybe your partner isn’t ready, then you have a choice to make on whether or not you wait for them to get ready or not.
If you scored 1 – 3 A’s – a few tweaks is all you need. You may not realize it, but you may have a compulsive avoidance, anxious attachment, or you may be wanting to use an open relationship as a way to get “high” to take away the pain of something else.
If you scored 4 or more on the left side A column, I do NOT suggest you go into an open relationship at this time. These statements can OFTEN be signs that you are not emotionally intelligent enough to understand your own needs. You may not know how to do your own inner work yet. You may get incredibly confused, because you are projecting fantasies onto others.

Common Pitfalls in Open Relationships

Lack of Honesty and Trust Issues
Inability to See One’s Addiction / Trauma
Self-Centeredness
Communication Issues
Jealousy, Envy, and Insecurity
Family Conflicts (who do you do holidays with?)
Overcoming Social Norms (what happens when you only get a plus 1 to the wedding?)
Limitation of Partners (you can’t find anyone and your partner already has someone)
And More!

Healthy relationships take TWO or MORE people who have integrity, honesty, creativity, willingness to be vulnerable, and ability to engage in their own Inner Growth and Non-Defensiveness. Sometimes a Sex Coach is needed to understand these changes and address them in the right direction.

Before you transition from monogamy to polyamory in a current partnership, make sure you understand the story each of you will have about a shared meaning when it comes to sex and love with other people.

Sometimes we project shame from our sexual past into our sexual future with our monogamous partners. For example, you may become annoyed that your partner is frequently insecure about their body (their penis is too small or their vulva is ugly). This is usually an indicator that you have some blind spots to work on prior to adding another person to your sexual and loving relationship.

You cannot directly fix your partner’s insecurity.

You can only change the system of how you respond to the stimulus of your “partner’s insecurity.”

So if you are capable of fixing your own issues within your partner’s problems, then you may be ready for an open relationship!

Below are strategic considerations for those participating in an open relationship:

Time is a Limited Resource

Love is not limited. Time is though. No matter what, every single one of us only has 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

In practice, your time allocation could be that you make four hours for each partner per week without phones. You could also attend an event with one partner one week, and then another event with another partner the week after.

Sexual Education

You have to understand safe sex due to the sexual-health considerations of open relationships.

You are ready for an open relationship from a sexual education standpoint if you have:

The ability to fully discuss sexually transmitted infection status (for example: herpes type 1 vs type 2, hpv, PReP status)
Prepared to discuss in detail the act of Fluid Bonding (defined as a safer-sex strategy in which committed partners agree to have unprotected sex only with one another and to use barriers and/or stick to low-risk sexual behaviors with all of their other partners).
The grace of how to discuss what is sexually sacred, and what are the sexual boundaries with both your new partner and your metamour (your partner’s partner). Because NOTHING is private anymore when you are polyamorous. You are part of one big happy family!
Understanding of the term “New Relationship Energy (NRE)”.It is the intense feelings that may accompany the “honeymoon” phase of a new connection. This is sometimes also called “limerence.” You must check yourself while falling in love with the new person and remind yourself “this is not real, these are hormones.” Phenylethylamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin are the same hormones that you also find in serial monogamists or those practicing tantra.

Communication Strategies

Right Timing

Implement email instead of texting when it comes to communicating important topics. It is too much to receive alarming text messages in the middle of a thread of memes. Here is an example email:

Open Relationships The goal is that you learn how to ask consent while stating your needs.

Once you get to that conversation, set a timer for 30 minutes! Make sure to disengage electronics! Do not discuss it ahead of time. Show them that you can practice patience.

If you cannot wait 5-7 days to discuss your needs, you are not ready to be in an open relationship. In the variety of open relationships that I have tried, I find that it is mostly about waiting for someone. I had to remain centered while listening to things that I didn’t want to hear without getting triggered or responding. Then, I had to reflect back what I thought I heard to the best of my ability. If I was told “that wasn’t it” then I had to start over.

It takes a ton of patience and willingness to communicate effectively.

2. Use A Compassionate Tone

Watch your tone intention in the beginning of all emails. “I mean this with loving eyes” or “I know you are improving and I still have another request based on my need to connect.”

Notice the difference between “you let me down and broke a promise again” and “a part of me is hurt and feels let down by you breaking our commitment.”

3. Observation Without Attitude

Example: saying “I noticed you left the plate in the sink. Did that mean anything to you?” sounds different than “it is so annoying when you leave your plate in the sink.”

A good way to practice polyamory is to ensure that EVERYONE in the partnership / poly family is mindful of the needs that polyamory is satisfying in each of their own lives.

For example, we all have a need for connection. You can meet that need through monogamy or polyamory. Understanding how polyamory fulfills your needs in addition to connection (certainty, uncertainty, significance, growth, and contribution) is critical.

Understanding your needs is critical to discussing conversations around relationship orientation (polyamory, swinging) and/or sexuality.

4. Willingness To Be Flexible And Collaborative!

Start asking your partner once a week what you can do to meet THEIR needs better and address the feedback in the upcoming week.

If you aren’t willing to extend yourself for just one partner now, you will not be able to manage polyamory dating, let alone a polyamorous community.

Open relationships are for those who are interested in living life a bit differently. You will constantly be faced with multiple opportunities to meet the needs of partners, so make sure your time management is on point!

So if you are interested in getting help before you begin your open relationship journey, text us at 203-733-9600.

If you know someone who would benefit from this knowledge, feel free to end the stigma around open relationships and send them a link to my YouTube channel – The Sex Healer!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Couples Cure text therapy program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips

August 29, 2019/in Couples, Free eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips, Lifestyle, Relationship Tips, Sex Tips, The Sex Healer/by Amanda Pasciucco

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eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips

Amanda Pasciucco, The Sex Healer, and founder of Life Coaching and Therapy, in West Hartford, CT brings you free eguides on relationship and sex tips.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Amanda has more than 15,000 client hours of experience. She has helped hundreds of distant couples reignite their erotic spark after only a few sessions.

Additionally, Amanda is a national educator, speaker and is featured in CNN, Playboy, Men’s Health, Maxim, Daily Mail and more!

She has helped transform the intimate lives of those struggling with infertility, sexless relationships, low-desire, arousal, orgasm, and penetration problems.

Amanda shares her best, most effective techniques, practices and beliefs.

Are you ready to download, read and practice these tips at home?

It is time to improve your intimate life!

Click to Download: The Pleasure Practice – A Guide to Unleashing Self Pleasure to Heal Yourself and Transform Your Sex Life

If you know someone that would benefit from free eguides on relationship and sex tips, please share this information with them!

Check out Amanda’s Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.

Learn more about Life Coaching and Therapy.

Sign up to receive our newsletter, eguides, blog posts, webinars and special offers![/vc_column_text]

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LMFT Jobs

August 26, 2019/in Life Coaching and Therapy News/by Amanda Pasciucco

LMFT Jobs, LCSW Jobs & LPC Jobs available immediately in West Hartford, CT or Telehealth!

Do you know someone who needs a change of careers to a LPC, LCSW, or to LMFT jobs?

Do you want to work in private practice without having to deal with the business side?

We are growing! LMFT Jobs available! Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is hiring amazing clinicians that are currently licensed in CT. LCAT is a telehealth practice based out of West Hartford CT. So you get to work from home in leggings if you want to. Or something else like in the Connecticut CT office!

Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, CST. Founder and Owner of LCAT

When Life Coaching and Therapy started in 2013, I never imagined we could have changed so many lives in such a short period of time.

We have helped thousands of individuals and couples transform their sex lives and relationships.

You may have the skill set that we need to continue our great work and results.

Passion is a main theme for every staff member at Life Coaching and Therapy. LCAT therapists each have different specialty populations and ways of doing therapy.

We are creating a world of equality through advocacy and life practice. We are looking for therapists who are passionate about:

Neurodiversity in all forms- We love people whose brains work like our owner – Amanda’s
BIPOC communities – you have to be anti-racist and willing to do the self of the therapist work
Open relationships, LGBTQIA+, alternative lifestyles and more.
Utilizing Nonviolent Communication practices

LMFT Jobs and More – Licensed in CT – Available Positions for Immediate Hire!

If we are working with a client, we will take them into our heart. Our goal is to uncover their efforts by creating a new way of connecting. We will thinking outside the box, in the box, and even break the box down if necessary to help you build a pyramid to reach your full potential!

Our therapy team includes life coaches, national educators, sex therapists, and queer and kink-friendly professionals. We also specialize in same-sex relationships, gender reassignment, and non-monogamous relationship orientations.

“In my three years of working at LCAT I have learned so much. There are many benefits to working in private practice, especially at LCAT! I have flexibility in my schedule, an office space ready for me, biweekly pay, no billing headaches, and a referral list already waiting for me!

We have a great therapy team that has monthly meetings and check ins. Although we are private contractors, we still are dedicated to each other’s growth.

Amanda, the owner, is so committed to change, growth, innovation and creativity. She values all of our different skill sets and ensures each of us feels secure and supported in the practice.”

-Nicole Scrivano, LMFT

“Thanks for these past months. You’ve been so much more than my boss. You have been one of the most delightful personalities I’ve come across, and I’m so grateful that we developed such a close relationship.

I learned more about the realm of human sexuality through getting to know your life and helping you realize your dreams. Not only have you enriched my life, but you have thoroughly supported mine even when I went through some dark times this year. Thank you so much for the time we’ve had up to now.”

-Gabrielle Le, Ex-Executive Assistant

Dedication to advocacy and contributing is part of what makes us LOVE our careers!

Life Coaching and Therapy has tons of clients who have relationship issues and trauma histories that need your licensed clinical skill set.

We strive to provide an identity-affirming environment to all. We are excited to have you consider being a part of this amazing therapy practice.

If you believe that sexuality and pleasure can be healing, and you are open to joining a future vision, we would love for you to apply below.

Learn more about the available LMFT jobs, and if you feel you are the right fit with LCAT, apply soon. We have two open positions and they will not be available for long.

Bondage Sex

August 23, 2019/in Couples, Relationship Tips, Sex Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Bondage Sex

Are you confused about why people like to participate in bondage sex?

Do you want to understand why you crave it?

I’ve spoken with hundreds of bondage enthusiasts and I’m here to help you understand what I’ve learned from them about why they love bondage and the feeling of being contained.

Let’s start with a working definition of bondage, and limit the scope just a bit.

What is Bondage Sex?

Bondage sex can be practiced alone or as partners and it’s focused on limiting our physical movement or senses in a way that we desire or that stimulates or arouses us.

To say that bondage isn’t well understood clinically, is an understatement.

There are so many different motivations, which are usually complex.

As with anything within the context of being an emotional human, it just isn’t as simple as we wish it was.

Is Bondage Sex a Fetish?

Yes and no.

For some people, bondage is a fetish need. There are people that cannot have successful sex without bondage, and for these people bondage is not merely a preference.

The reasons for sexual fetishes are deep and are beyond the scope of our conversation here. They are a very small minority even among bondage enthusiasts, and some of them are very nice people. This is not at all the same thing as the dark psycho bad guys that we often see doing bondage in thriller films.

Bondage isn’t really something to be afraid of, but all kinky sexual practices should be treated mindfully with people that you trust.

For the great majority of bondage enthusiasts, bondage is something that turns them on or is meaningful to them in some ways. It isn’t a fetish need.

Kierkegaard believed that freedom and dread are forever linked and psychological research has proven this. A great oversimplification of this link is that freedom leads to responsibility and responsibility leads to anxiety about all sorts of things!

Most people that I have talked to that enjoy being bound cite this as the most common reason for bondage. They “feel” free when their choices are taken away.

What delicious irony!

For these people the release of responsibility allows them to just be in the moment and enjoy whatever is happening. They will often refer to this as “flying” even if they aren’t suspended.

This experience can even lead to trance like states of ecstasy and bliss even without penetrative sex or direct sexual stimulation.

Below are some primary motivations, and usually there is more than just one motivation:

Thrill Seekers

Almost the opposite of those needing to remove their choices are the thrill seeker types.

These people are stimulated by the danger, risk and adrenaline of the experiences. This type of bondage high is very primal. Surviving near death experiences often leaves the body very aroused!

These people often like a little fear with their bondage and can combine breath restriction, role playing and pure athleticism into an erotic circus of bondage experience.

Just a word of caution…this can be very dangerous and injuries are common even among the most experienced of this type of bondage player.

Seek out experienced people, and learn as much as you can before you jump into this type of bondage.

Sensualists

Swinging way back in the other direction are the sensualists.

For them bondage is almost a meditative experience or a spa day. They put on music, and light incense, open their senses completely and just let go.

For them, the sensations of bondage are about the way that it makes their body feel.

They commonly prefer being bound where they can lay down and drift away.

The materials can be silk scarves or soft ropes or even bolts of cloth and ribbons.

They often prefer lots of surface area of their body be covered in a cocoon-like experience.

Long-Term Bondage Fans

There are also the long-term bondage fans.

They get to take the whole day off. These people like cages or small spaces where they have some freedom of movement, but they aren’t allowed to leave.

They fantasize about being chained to a radiator in a basement or handcuffed to a bed, and that brings us to the fantasy players.

Fantasy Players

Fantasy players often have a particular role play that they are obsessed with. They dream about being abducted and kidnapped. They can act out elaborate multiplayer fantasies with duct tape and fiendish predicaments. This type of bondage play is not about quality of the bondage itself, it’s about the fantasy that it inspires.

Next are the psychological or emotional players. For these people bondage is about exploring taboos, shame, humiliation and intimacy. They wish to be bound and exhibited like an object or perhaps made fun of or ridiculed. This may allow them to externalize their inner fears in a safe space. This can be quite complex, and shouldn’t be done without a lot of trust and communication.

Masochistic Thrills

This last category is for people that do bondage for submission and masochistic thrills.

For these people bondage is a part of a broader dynamic where they gain pleasure by submitting to the will and desires of someone else. Bondage is a symbolic or physical way of enforcing that.

The emphasis here is on the subject who is helpless to resist as they experience pleasure or pain. This can last as long as the Dominant or sadist wishes to pleasure, torment, expose or use them.

These broad categories really just scratch the surface and you can probably see how they can blend into each other pretty easily.

The possible motivations for bondage are really endless.

I hope that this post was able to help you understand why people like bondage sex.

You can try to use these categories to discuss your bondage fantasies with your partner.

If you want more information similar to this, check my Youtube channel, The Sex Healer, and sign up for our weekly posts.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Couples Cure text therapy program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Sex and Submission

August 19, 2019/in Couples, Lifestyle, Relationship Tips, Sex Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Sex and Submission

Do you like to combine sex and submission? You’re not the only one! Sex and submission is a perfectly normal fantasy.

There are many reasons we crave sexual submission.

Submission is an act of trust. It is turning over your body and your well-being into another’s care.

Sexual submission can be thrilling and empowering.

When we are talking about kinky sex, being submissive is an honored role.

Submission during sex means trusting another enough to temporarily relinquish control and be guided on a journey.

To get started in the games of domination and submission it is best to do it with your partner or with someone you have total confidence in and trust. e Be very clear that it is only a game.

Are You Willing to Submit?

This is the first question you have to ask yourself if you want to experience the game of domination.

If your erotic fantasy is to have your partner dominate you and make love to you by force, I encourage you to put it into practice.

And, why not? Maybe your partner likes to be submissive too!

You just have to ask! Communicate!

Pleasure or Pain?

The games of domination and submission are usually related to bondage, ties and spanking, and the roles of master and slave. Use your creativity!

The only rule is to do it with respect and self-control. You don’t really want to be hurt and you don’t want to hurt your partner. .

Control Your Role

When you are in the game of sex and submission, sometimes you will have to play the role as the dominant and other times as the submissive partner.

In both roles you have to feel comfortable and know what limits are in advance.

If you are exercising as a mistress, make sure your partner is doing well and enjoying the game.

When it is the other way around, stop and speak clearly if you do not like something or feel that your partner is overreacting.

But, above all, get into the role and have fun.

Pretending to be someone else can help you feel much sexier and uninhibited.

Only in the Bedroom

Domination or submission games could get you hooked so much that you end up getting too much into your role even out of bed.

The game can take place during a dinner, in an exchange of messages, or even in the gym!

As soon as someone says stop, you immediately stop and get out of sex and submission.

CONSENT is key! Everyone has to be engaged and interested.

My motto is a DEEP YES is consent. I don’t want anything other than a HELL YES to a moment…including sex and submission!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimiate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Couples Cure text therapy program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

When you have a minute, check out amazing video tips on sex and relationships from LCAT founder, Amanda Pasciucco, The Sex Healer.