web therapy

Do you know what Web Therapy is?

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Do you know what Web Therapy is?

 

Let’s talk about web therapy and how you can use it to navigate issues alone or with a partner.

The Coronavirus pandemic and the self-imposed quarantine that all of us are experiencing are certainly some of the most interesting moments in my over ten years of working with individuals and couples.

It’s not exaggerating to say that for many people this is a traumatic event. Life has been turned upside down. You may have lost your job, known a loved one who got sick, or even been personally impacted by the disease. If you’re lucky enough to be spared direct impact, the effects of quarantine and what we see on the news all day are still serious.

If anything, Coronavirus is giving us a lightning round of insight into how we all move through grief into acceptance. It’s a turbulent time. Working with a therapist can help you understand why you are feeling the way you are and give you tactics to move through grief and get to acceptance.

That’s true whether you’re dealing with the effects of losing a job or the stress of a change in your home environment where you’re home all day around the people you love.

I’ve been developing web therapy along with a text therapy practice to help individuals and couples identify and work through issues in real-time. I offer strategies and tips at the moment to help you push to another level even when you can’t meet in person. Here’s how my clients are using web therapy to get where they want to be.

 

How Individuals Use Web Therapy to Overcome Obstacles

I remember when news of Coronavirus first started to hit. Back then, which was not too long ago, it was easy to brush it off and think, “That’s far away”, or “It seems so removed from my life”. In a matter of weeks, we’ve all come face to face with the pandemic.

What did that mean for all of my clients? What happened to the people I meet regularly who were seeing real progress? Suddenly, meeting in person was no longer feasible. Luckily, I’d been working for years on web therapy strategies to manage the transition.

web therapy

Working with clients over the web, we almost went through a crash course on how to manage the stages of grief. Many of them initially felt anger at the disruption in their lives. Emergencies can bring out the worst in people, and unfortunately, negative behaviors and opinions were broadcast everywhere. It was easy to get caught up.

Each client is still somewhere along the anger, bargaining, fear, and depression. It comes and it goes as we work to adjust to our new realities. With web therapy, we were able to maintain a regular communication to deal with the ups and downs.

What’s great about it is that you’re able to sign up for a week or a month, however long you think it serves a purpose or helps you deal with the issues you’re struggling with.

 

The Couples Counseling Cure

Web therapy has helped many of the couples I meet with in person. I’ve found that younger people often prefer using web and text, and it is even surprising how older couples have taken to meeting online because they can carve out space in a room inside the house even with the whole family home.

I’ve streamlined my strategies for couples into online and text therapy modules. We do something I call Triangulation Within the Couple, where we maintain a group chat and respond in real-time to each other’s concerns and celebrate our successes together when we meet online!

web therapy

That’s been incredibly effective during the Coronavirus pandemic because I’m seeing many couples struggle with staying home, balancing things like kids and chores while they experience anxiety over careers and the general outlook.

Web therapy provides an outlet for both partners to express concerns as they come up, and I provide tips on how to push through. In essence, I’m giving you a template that you’ll have on hand to refer back to and use when you need it. It’s been a lifesaver as couples still can work with a clinician from their homes.

I was using web therapy long before we all started living in quarantine and have seen its benefits for both helping couples overcome challenges and grow closer, and for others facilitate a conscious uncoupling to achieve the life they want. It’s versatile and lends you critical support.

 

Using Web Therapy to Stay Connected

As a therapist, the connection between our health and our community is evident. What’s happening around us affects our mental, emotional, and even physical health. The speed at which the Coronavirus disrupted our lives has helped many of my clients see it up close.

How can you stay healthy and balanced when you’re hearing about the Apocalypse, closed borders, huge job losses, and other horrible news?

Web therapy delivers an outlet whereby you can express anger, frustration, depression, and other emotions, even when you’re stuck in quarantine. Remember, these emotions are legitimate. It’s ok to be angry or depressed about what’s happening.

Connection is what all of us need in times of stress when we’re dealing with trauma and uncertainty. Using online solutions allows me, as a therapist, to keep ties with you as you strive to create positivity in new circumstances.

It’s still possible to form strong bonds with your therapist and see progress using your phone and meeting online. A 2013 peer-reviewed study found that, over the course of a six-week text therapy trial, “results indicated that the impact of exchanges and client–therapist alliance in text therapy was similar to, but in some respects more positive than, previous evaluations of face-to-face therapy.” That’s great news!

 

Working Toward Acceptance

If we look hard enough, we can find incredible examples of acceptance and resilience all around us. Communities are doing what they can to support businesses, healthcare workers, and neighbors. Stress has made many families come together and hopefully, we’re on the phone more often with friends and distant family.

What’s amazing about working through the stages of grief is that, eventually, we come to acceptance, where we can come together and create something new. The speed at which we’re dealing with Coronavirus has certainly been a shock. As we move into acceptance, I think there are going to be some really great outcomes.

If you’re missing regular meetings with a therapist or find yourself stuck in a stage of grief, web therapy could be the solution. Don’t struggle with anxiety, fear, anger, or a sense of hopelessness alone. Discover tools to help overcome negativity and work on your relationships with the help of an expert. You’ll see an immediate impact on the way you communicate with yourself and others.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Trauma Counseling

Trauma Counseling to Recover from People Pleasing

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Trauma Counseling to Recover from People Pleasing

 

Often in trauma counseling and emotional healing, we focus on trauma responses that occur and perpetuate throughout someone’s life. 

The three most widely acknowledged trauma responses are: fight, flight, or freeze. 

Often these responses are unconscious and automatic, and if you are interested in your own traumatic response cycle, continue to read below! 

 

Trauma Responses

Traumatic responses caused by triggers are often seen in trauma counseling. 

The fight response is when someone is activated or “triggered” and responds aggressively or in a dominating way.  Fight can look like literally getting into fight, speaking aggressively, or even be a pursuer dynamic.

Flight is where someone leaves or “runs away.” This can look like someone emotionally removing themselves, literally removing themself from the circumstance, or avoiding any of the things that remind them of said trauma.

Freeze is when someone’s body and physiological responses “shut down.” This can look like someone not being able to move, someone not being responsive, or someone completely dissociating.

These trauma responses are most noted and discussed due to the research around Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (which is historically done around large scale traumas). These responses are clear and valid responses and after often addressed in trauma counseling and therapy.

As we learn more about trauma and the impact it can have, it has become more clear that “fawning” or “placating” is another trauma response. 

This is the response of “people pleasing” or placating others to avoid conflict or further harm/trauma to appease the abuser. 

This looks like a child trying to appease a parent to avoid further harm or a partner agreeing to something that they wouldn’t otherwise agree to if not for the fear of the others. 

This also can look like someone constantly looking to others for approval. 

Each of these trauma responses is an automatic response your brain has. 

These responses are out of one’s control often and out of their own awareness. 

Through trauma counseling or therapy and emotional healing these can be addressed to find various new strategies or coping mechanisms to manage when these responses happen after the trauma.

Trauma Counseling

 

Fawning and Recovery

In my professional experience, I have seen many clients who have struggled with fawning. 

These individuals require frequent validation, often avoid conflict, and often work to please/appease others around them to their own detriment. 

Like all trauma responses, this is an automatic process which can then create subconscious patterns in people’s lives where people continue this response into a strategy in their relationships. 

This strategy relates to clients engaging in this behavior across contexts and relationships. Often I work with couples where there is a level of codependency in the relationship where one or both partners engage in this dynamic, creating a difficult dynamic within the relationship. 

Whether individual or within a relationship, creating recovery around people pleasing is hard because of its origins. 

In my professional experience, it requires revisiting the origins of this pattern and how this strategy met the needs you had at the time. 

Being able to recognize that this strategy is no longer useful is necessary to work with your therapist to find new strategies to get your needs met. 

Another important piece of this is to recognize ways to feel safe. 

Recognizing that people who experience trauma do not feel safe, and remind yourself that finding safety is important. Safety can be emotional, physical, relational, and environmental. 

Depending on your experience, finding safety can be a necessity. 

There are so many things that can be useful to “people pleaser’s” in their recovery that the list can go on and on. 

The best advice I can give as a therapist is to find a therapist who you can trust and work through this with. 

That includes if you are in a relationship because whether you recognize it or not, your relationship(s) have been impacted by these experiences. 

Look for someone who specializes in trauma therapy, trauma work, or trauma counseling, these are the first steps towards emotional healing. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out LCAT’s Owner’s YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

couple talking

Couple Talking – The Quarantine Communication Crash Course

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Couple Talking – The Quarantine Communication Crash Course

 

It is perfectly understandable that couple talking techniques would change, because when we find ourselves in new situations, we need to come up with new ways of coping and flourishing. 

I’ve noticed in meeting with clients that some couples are finding challenges communicating effectively, and as couples spend more time together than ever, couple talking changes! You can’t expect the same results from old ways of thinking and communicating! 

Just spend a moment considering how much your work routines have changed. 

We’re all on some sort of video conferencing software, balancing parenting or caretaking, health and exercise, financial stresses, and other tasks within the boundaries of our home. 

The coronavirus pandemic has forced all of us to make fast decisions about what’s vital and what’s not. What doesn’t work fails immediately, and effective results stick.

The same goes for couple talking techniques. 

Quarantining all day has been a crash course for many of my clients on verbal and non-verbal communication with their spouse or partner. 

The more you utilize effective strategies and techniques, the faster you’ll adapt to this new reality.

Let’s look on the bright side and imagine how much better we’ll know and communicate with our partners as things transition back to “normal” life. 

You can use your time now as a petri dish to experiment with some of these expert couple talking strategies.

couple talking

Dr. Gottman on Intimate Conversation

Dr. Gottman has been helping couples build bonds and communicate effectively for decades. One of his main strategies for building trust in a relationship is related to open communication free from any hint of defensiveness.

Your partner could be hiding something from you or masking destructive behaviors because they fear your reaction. It could also be one of the reasons they react strongly to anything that resembles criticism. 

For example, that sort of thing happens a lot when a spouse attempts to talk to their partner about what they see is a pornography problem. They move to strike back quickly to discourage any more questioning.

For many of us, our first inclination when our partner has a problem or talks about something challenging is to offer solutions. We want to immediately problem-solve their way out of it. We tell ourselves that’s how we’re projecting that we care about them.

Instead, though, Gottman says that before advice must come understanding. 

Intimate communication must include couples talking  that’s free from judgment.

One of the best ways to do this is by asking your partner open-ended follow-up questions. These invite them to speak more freely and get out whatever feelings they’ve got pent up inside. The next time your partner expresses frustration, anger, or even joy, ask them to talk more about how they feel and why. You’re on your way to build a more free and open communication platform.

 

Find Healing with Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago relationship therapy focuses on building intimate connections through healing. Fear of being truly known is one of the main obstacles my clients face. Most of us naturally maintain some semblance of a distance between our true selves and those around us. It may not be as simple as we don’t trust them. Often, we feel uncomfortable thinking or discussing our past or trauma we still live with.

Sharing intimate feelings, both fears and aspirations will help you as a couple build a love that’s more connected and intimate. Easier said than done, however. To feel comfortable opening or, you and your partner have to feel safe in your relationship.

Worries, concerns, doubts, and other emotions have to be communicated in a safe environment without risk of retribution.

The best couple talking happens in safe conversations. You can discover how to create safe conversations by talking to your partner about what makes them feel unsafe. Eliminate any conditions that could trigger anxiety as you speak. Sit closely to stay physically connected. Maintain eye contact. Offer validation often as your partner shares difficult emotions.

couple talking

Couple Talk with F-A-S-T

As a therapist, I help people understand how their emotions can hijack conversations. We all must understand how our messages are conveyed, especially to our intimate partners who we care deeply about.

In many couples, there’s often one partner who feels it’s appropriate to make their feelings subordinate to their partner’s to “make things work”. They are quick to apologize to try and smooth things over and withhold their true feelings because they don’t want to rock the boat.

What these people don’t realize is that they’re setting themselves up for long-term failure. That negatively impacts their partner and also their self-worth. If you find yourself sacrificing too much for the good of the relationship, you need to reexamine things.

For example, sometimes clients struggle with different sexual desires in their relationship. The higher-desire partner can feel frustrated and that they’re giving up something incredibly important because their partner doesn’t want to have sex as much as they do. Either that or they’re into kink or want to try some roleplaying.

Telling yourself that that’s just the way things are can only last so long. Eventually, the resentment will be so strong it will lead to collapse, infidelity, or some other disruption.

The point of learning how to speak about difficult topics is to find a way to meet in the middle for a solution that’s acceptable to both parties.

I recommend the FAST method of communication as a way to stay grounded when communicating with your spouse or partner. FAST stands for:

Fairness – Remember to be fair to yourself and your partner. Avoid criticism and judgment.

Apologies – Reserve apologies for when they’re required. Don’t apologize for feeling a certain way or being who you are. Apologize when you’ve done something wrong.

Stick to Your Values – There’s a compromise, and then there’s self-sacrifice. Too much sacrifice will make you feel resentful. Don’t cheat on your values to make something work or to make someone feel better.

Truth – Don’t exaggerate and don’t lie. Stay grounded and honest in your communication. Your partner will listen to what you have to say and know you are being sincere.

FAST is just one communication technique I recommend for couple talk. Several other methods can help you remember effective communication skills when conflict arises or it’s time to give your partner validation and praise.

I think we forget too often that we need effective communication when things are good just as much as when they are bad. How you speak to your partner when things are positive is like filling the well that you can draw on when stress is high and you’re having disagreements.

If there’s anything everyone needs right now during this troubling time it’s more praise and validation. These are simple things you can do to build your partner up and create stronger bonds in your intimate relationship.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

couples therapy video option

Uncovering Couples Therapy Video Options

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Uncovering Couples Therapy Video Options

 

Have you tried couples therapy video options yet due to the pandemic? 

If you have tried a couples therapy video option, make sure you let us know your experience. 

When was the last time you had someone trained to listen, to reflect, and to guide you through communication issues?

Opening up and working through problems is a freeing process that, unfortunately, too few couples know.

The initial meeting with a therapist is the hardest part. 

Once you make an appointment, and then begin to fill out the intake paperwork, you start a journey of exploration and healing that often is not possible alone. 

Some people, for several reasons, are hesitant to meet and talk with therapists.

Therapists are responding to client concerns and increasing their outreach by making therapy video sessions available to everyone who is not at risk of harming themselves or others.  

Now, practices around the country, and the world, are performing couples therapy video sessions as the norm. 

They’ll meet with you in the privacy of your home.

There’s a lot to consider when you’re looking for a therapist or thinking about starting sessions. Video conference capability is just one more piece of the puzzle. 

Here we discuss some of the main benefits of couples therapy video sessions and why they may work for you: 

  • Convenient and simple
  • Flexible payments
  • Sometimes covered by insurance
  • Who doesn’t want to improve their love?
  • Growing leaps and bounds in weeks

 

After 4 weeks, one client reported:

“I wish I didn’t wait to start therapy so late! I’m not going to lie, I wouldn’t have put off therapy for so long if I had realized all the discoveries along the way. Not just myself but also a different window into my partner’s inner world. I’ve very much so appreciated the way that the therapeutic relationship has been built. It was essentially everything I thought it wouldn’t be and I feel like I’ve been making leaps and bounds in my own inner world and starting to show to the rest of the world.”

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

What is Narcissism

What is Narcissism?

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What is Narcissism?

 

“What is narcissism” seems to be a buzzword lately around Life Coaching and Therapy and on the internet. 

Having and or knowing someone who is a narcissist is complicated, confusing, and at times overwhelming. 

Within my clinical practice, I work with those who have been impacted by narcissists or those who identify as narcissists. 

Today, I will try to answer the question “what is narcissism” and bring some clarity. 

According to GoodTherapy (2019), narcissism is “excessive self-involvement that causes a person to ignore the needs of others.” 

Even though we may behave in a self-involved manner, when we are doing it chronically and at the expense of others without accountability, that is when it becomes problematic. 

 

GoodTherapy (2019) states that clear indicators of narcissism are: 

  • incredibly self-focused
  • difficulty empathizing with others
  • Entitlement
  • attention seeking behavior
  • a focus on the narrative of others, need for admiration or affirmations
  • difficulty in relationships
  • inability to take responsibility for their actions or behavior
  • unable to tolerate criticism, and 
  • seeking approval from others (GoodTherapy, 2019). 

 

When asking “what is narcissism,” I think it is important to consider there is a spectrum of this ranging from those who have narcissistic tendencies and someone who has an extreme form of narcissism that is a “personality disorder.” 

To some degree, we all have parts of us that demonstrate self-serving behaviors, yet that does not mean you are engaging in narcissistic behavior or abuse. 

 

Narcissism: A Family Pattern

Often people who are narcissists are raised in a narcissistic environment. 

Their family of origin or people integral in their lives are also narcissistic. 

It may appear to be an intergenerational pattern – so that if you look at the person who is acting like a  narcissist, you will find their close family members demonstrating these same qualities. 

People raised by narcissistic caregivers often struggle with questioning their own reality and emotions. 

This constant invalidation creates significant struggles for them as a child and eventual adult as they grow up to have relationships within the community. 

Being raised in an environment that is unpredictable where caregivers may show public affection and are distant creates issues in attachment. 

This is particularly challenging for children as they learn attachment (which sets the road map for their relationships moving forward) with their caregivers. 

Focusing on individual needs rather than that of the family or the child creates a system of modeling this behavior, elevating the “narcissistic part” over the “collaborative” or “empathetic” part(s). 

Thus creating another generation that may struggle with narcissism. 

This is not to say “it’s my parents’ fault” or to blame someone else (that can be a narcissistic trait). 

The point is to recognize that this pattern probably began generations ago. 

Often these behaviors are strategies to get a need met or survive trauma. 

Behaviors are passed down from generation to generation until someone decides to change them. 

As a systemic therapist, this makes sense. 

We become and act on what we know. 

If we are not intentionally aware of the processes that we learned, we will repeat them. 

As someone who specializes in trauma, I often see my clients regress into narcissistic tendencies while in “trauma spirals.” 

To be clear, regardless of if you are a narcissist or acting as a narcissist due stress or trauma… it does not justify acting abusively, harmfully, or with disregard to the impact on those around you. 

If you are engaging in narcissistic behavior, you are likely engaging in some abusive patterns. I repeat, if you are engaging in narcissistic patterns of behavior, regardless of the reason, you may be engaging in abusive patterns as well. 

 

Can the Cycle be Broken?

In one word, absolutely. 

Building insight and awareness with the narcissistic part of you is a skill we teach at LCAT.

If we are looking at ourselves as made up of various aspects (see Inner Aspects model by Francesca Gentille), we can acknowledge and see that we all have parts of us that are narcissistic. 

If we are able to look at that part of us, see that part of us, and work with that part of us we are capable of disrupting the pattern. 

Acknowledging that we are engaging in these patterns, being committed to doing things differently, and showing up to do the work allows for growth to happen. 

The cycle cannot and will not be broken if individuals are not able to see their part, take accountability, and be willing to do the work though. 

If your narcissistic part is the part that dominates your person, it may be difficult to do this because that part of you will not want to take responsibility.

Our role would be to help you gently and tenderly acknowledge that you are engaging in destructive, toxic, and or abusive behaviors. 

Then, we would help give you the pieces to put your life back as you see fit. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Best Couples Therapy Near Me

Best Couples Therapy Near Me 

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Best Couples Therapy Near Me 

 

When people type these words “best couples therapy near me” into their Google search field, they are often looking for a therapist near their home to help them out. 

Usually, those typing “best couples therapy near me” are typically at the stage in their relationship where things are “broken” and they are wondering what to do about it. 

Online couple counseling

Fairytales of high-school sweethearts who are so loving, yet the thought of touching their partner makes their skin crawl. 

They are often searching for ways to communicate with their partner in a more effective way and to see results in the moment instead of months later. 

Adults often want to know how to stop fighting and how to start communicating more effectively. They also want to have the joy they used to feel in their partnership.

Couples therapy can be emotionally intense. 

There’s this huge outpouring feeling, whether it be anger, love, regret, or hope. 

You might have some homework or things to work on with your partner or spouse until the next time you meet with your therapist.

You leave with high expectations and then life gets in the way. Sometimes, it is hard to remember all the things that worked as well as the issues you want to bring up in the next session. 

Individuals, and couples, come into our office because they realize they aren’t having the type of romance that they imagined, nor are they experiencing the degree of connection that they desire. 

If couples like what they see in the Google snippet or ad that describes our couples therapy practice, Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT), then we encourage you to click on the link and go to the website at www.lifecoachingandtherapy.com. 

One of the main reasons people may choose to visit the LCAT site is the 5-star reviews our clients post about us on Google. 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me

I am so grateful for each and every client that we have had, the ones we currently have, and the ones we have yet to meet. 

When clients get the sexual satisfaction they long for, when couples begin to have ease in communication, and when they begin to learn ways to improve connection in their partnerships, the results just speak for themselves.

What makes a couples therapy practice the best? 

The results! Sense of safety. A long assessment period. Take at least 4 sessions to see if you are a match!

Many individuals, for example, are afraid to be honest with their romantic partner.

A couples therapy practice that is open about their strategies, results, and that gives you the option of having homework is definitely a good sign that it is the best. 

If you believe that going to couples therapy is a sign of failure, think again!  

Couples therapy involves intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual perspectives, and sexual connection, which can make it incredibly complex. 

Being comfortable enough to ask your partner specific questions about what they need or like is essential to having great results as a couples therapy practice!

One of the first things people do when they visit the site is view the Therapy Team bios. You will see that there are a variety of clinicians with different specialities, including couples therapy, anxiety, depression, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. 

Our team is amazing! We work in the Inner Aspects Counseling Model of therapy, and thus far, the results have been compelling.

Sometimes, it is imperative for couples therapy to focus on using fantasy and the illusion of variety for sexual satisfaction in long-term romantic relationships. 

At times, the therapist can act as a creator and innovator to help rediscover interests and help the couple create a relationship framework for a better future. 

For example, one technique couples therapists use is to encourage intimacy through erotic writing, cuddling, date nights, sexual acts and gift giving.

Our West Hartford staff consists of 7 licensed therapists – specializing in communication, repairing from betrayal, organizing relationship agreements, and setting you up for more intimate pleasure! 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me

That means all of our therapists have gone to graduate school, taken an exam, been licensed by the state, did 1000+ more clinical hours, more supervision, and have spent probably over $250,000 each on their tuition at this point. 

Because we know not everyone can afford our licensed therapists, we are in the process of training coaches to begin to get you results at a lower price. If you are interested in learning more about becoming an Inner Aspects Model Coach, let us know!

When clients put in effort, so do we. 

It is as if you have your own personal couples therapy team in your pocket, because your clinician is just a text away. 

The great thing about technology is that it is advanced and secure enough to enable LCAT therapists to hold therapy sessions online – either through chats, text, or videos. 

This has a lot of mental health benefits, including being able to help clients during this challenging time of home quarantine.  

 

The Benefits of Online Psychotherapy are:

  • Flexible scheduling options and payment
  • Faster results and immediate interventions
  • Sometimes paid for by insurance companies
  • Request to record session to refer back to it if you would like
  • You can have complete discretion in your care 

 

It’s funny, because really, now with the online psychotherapy, the search phrase “best couples therapy near me” doesn’t even have to include the “near me” any more.”

Telehealth is global now! 

 

Why does LCAT get consistent 5 star reviews from customers on Google?

Best Couples Therapy Near MeWe strive to provide an identity-affirming environment to all.

If you aren’t satisfied, we will send you to someone who can help. 

And, if we believe we can help you, our team sensitively handles your presenting concerns. 

 

Get your guide to connect more today

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

healing trauma

Is Healing Trauma Possible? A New Normal in the Age of COVID

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Is Healing Trauma Possible? A New Normal in the Age of COVID

 

COVID-19 has taken the world by storm creating a system of stress, chaos, and trauma. 

As mental health professionals, our goal is to help our clients in healing trauma, yet what happens when there is systemic trauma? 

Many are wondering how we are going to heal from this trauma, and how will we recover as individuals, families, relationships, communities, as a nation, and as a world?

I have discussed systemic trauma in terms of oppression of marginalized populations, yet this pandemic is causing waves of trauma reverberating throughout the world. 

healing trauma

To be clear, marginalized populations have been hit hardest in terms of this pandemic. According to data from the State of Connecticut online, COVID-19 infection rate for the black population and the hispanic population is double the infection rate for the white population.

Yet the resources are still not going to the vulnerable communities. 

Loved ones are not seeing one another, people are isolated, people are dying, people are living in fear. It is CLEAR that the broader system has been impacted.

The level of uncertainty in the world around us can become overwhelming.

As a mental health professional, I see so many around me personally and professionally struggling in the face of this pandemic and they all seem to want to begin healing the trauma, even though we are in it. 

As families are trying to create a new “normal” in the face of this global, systemic trauma, some families are planning funerals. 

 

Healing Trauma

Unfortunately, we do not know the long term effects of this on individuals, communities, and broader systems. 

What we do know is that these impacts will be great and we will need more support… probably emotionally, intellectually, somatically, and specifically around healing trauma. 

The veil has been lifted in our communities, our political system, and the world. 

Now as a community, we urge those that can to work together to create a world that is better than when this began. 

 

What can you do to help, if you are able? 

  • Begin to notice your privilege. 
    • Not everyone has the same resources or safety that you do. 
    • Some people cannot afford food. 
    • When you say “we are all going to be fine,” realize that that isn’t true for everyone. We have seen countless lives already impacted in mental health. 
  • Realize that you impact others 
  • Take care of yourself – shower, feed yourself, socially distance, etc.
  • Sew some masks for people that you know are struggling with supplies. 
  • Cook meals for those who are in need. 

 

We cannot unsee the atrocities and lives lost. 

We cannot unsee how marginalized communities were hit harder than privileged communities.

We cannot unsee the value of mental health, the value of health care, the value of our communities.

My hope is that we can come together as a community, and work towards healing trauma together to address what we know more than ever to be true… Can we create a new normal together?

At Life Coaching and Therapy, LLC we are ready to collaborate with you!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Female Masturbation – Owning Pleasure with Virtual Erotic Recess

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Female Masturbation – Owning Pleasure with Virtual Erotic Recess

 

In November 2019, I wrote about my first time attending Betty Dodson’s Bodysex weekend – a weekend centered on female masturbation. 

Can you imagine female masturbation occurring online for pleasure, instead of for pornography? 

Coronavirus created a space where that was possible! Globally! 

 

Then Coronavirus Hit

It’s been months since my Bodysex experience, and naturally, I was aching for more; yet Betty and Carlin’s BodySex was sold out the Goop episode, BodySex 2020 would be sold out… 

All of their workshops are done in person. 

The effect of showing your genitals and orgasming in front of people you just met is incredibly delicious and empowering; so much so that most attendees report it to be “life changing.” 

Coronavirus threw a wrench into the plans of pleasure though. 

All of BodySex workshops were canceled to meet social distancing requirements. As I would imagine Betty and Carlin must have been bummed. However, within a couple weeks, the news came forward that Erotic Recess would be moving forward… on Zoom!

Yes, you read that right. Female masturbation for pleasure on Zoom. 

We would be part of piloting a new program of sexual pleasure from our own homes. 

Imagine a bunch of women on the same screen – totally nude – exploring and celebrating their own body together! 

I was intrigued to be a part of seeing if this experiment would “work” in the pandemic. 

Would the virtual Erotic Recess seminar hold a candle to the in-person BodySex that included female masturbation?

 

How Did It Go? 

Being a part of a virtual seminar is obviously different from meeting in person. 

Sitting in a circle with attendees facilitates a natural interaction and conversation flow. 

You take turns by… going around the circle. 

It’s also easier to read people’s moods when you can feel their energy up close.

Still, I was just excited that technology has enabled us to do this! 

After all, even in the face of a pandemic, pleasure must go on…

We started with a bit of boundary setting to begin! 

That happens in every seminar anyway, and it’s especially important over webcams. 

Carlin held a sacred space and was clear about no penises in the circle!

 

Female Masturbation For Global Healing

Erotic Recess leaves no room for avoidance or shame. 

We embrace our bodies, own our pleasure, and celebrate our vulvas for the incredible gift they are! As the workshop progressed, we talked about orgasms and masturbated in front of our computers, focused totally on pleasure and the solidarity of connection. 

It was great seeing how so many women experience and approach orgasm so differently. All of us better understand that there is no “right” way to be in pleasure. All of us realize that there is no “one” camera angle that works for all adult female bodies and movement abilities. 

 

My Virtual Female Masturbation Takeaways

Here are some of my main takeaways:

  • Ownership is SO important – During the workshop, attendees are discouraged as much as possible from talking about how others have affected their sexuality. The emphasis is on owning your eroticism. You get to decide that you deserve pleasure and bask in its glory!
  • The Right Tool Helps – millions of women will celebrate Betty Dodson for the rest of their lives to thank her for making the vibrator mainstream. Due to Carlin Ross and the future of BodySex, the pleasure continues… virtually! 
  • Sex tools are a godsend for women, particularly those who struggle to orgasm. My husband recently bought me the Le Wand Feel My Power Special Edition. 
  • I have to say, along with lubing up and Betty’s Barbell, it works wonders! 
  • Strategize with different toys and options until you find the one for you.
  • Once again… pleasure is gorgeous and healing! I have seen thousands of nude bodies at this point, and I just want to say that during female masturbation, most bodies have similar responses, and have sounds of joy.  Instead of shaming self-touch, celebrate it. This process works if you work it.

 

Virtual Erotic Recess Works

In the end, even Coronavirus could not stop our pleasure.

The 16+ women who have shared their screens alongside me have adapted to our new reality, and it didn’t dampen the experience. Each of us came away refreshed and excited to feel more pleasure and be free with our bodies. As Betty always says, “Better orgasms, better world”.

I am so grateful that I get to do this for a living! Erotic Recess is a wonderful reminder to me of how impactful sex therapy is and how many women can change their lives, not just with intimacy, through this process. It’s an incredible experience and I’m moved every time to be a part of it.

If you’re interested in Betty Dodson seminars like Bodysex, check them out now! You’ll be glad you gave it a try.

As some of you may know, pleasure is healing and female masturbation is often the key to unleash the power within. 

We grow through pain and pleasure, usually when we are uncomfortable. 

During this time of a global pandemic, we use female masturbation and self-pleasure during the sexual stimulation process to increase the feel-good hormones in your body! 

Whether or not you reach the release of orgasm, the bodily function that sometimes occurs during sexual interaction, isn’t the goal. The purpose is to connect with you. 

Follow the advice of Dr. Betty Dodson, the Queen of Female Masturbation, by checking out her NYT article. 

Female masturbationYou Are Your Safest Sex Partner: Betty Dodson Wants to Help

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

online couple counseling

Therapy on Retainer Vs. Onsite Couples Work

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Therapy on Retainer Vs. Onsite Couples Work

 

For decades, therapy has been conducted on comfortable rooms on couches with pillows and soothing colors to help you relax. Face-to-face therapy works. It’s helped millions of people overcome significant roadblocks to their happiness and fulfillment.

As therapists, we rely on personal sessions immensely. We do our best to read body language, facial expressions, mood, and other non-verbal cues. Our training helps us cut through the automatic statements and responses we all speak unconsciously, which often obfuscate underlying pain or trauma.

If you’ve ever spoken to your therapist on the phone, you know it’s not the same as being there in person. Therapy done over the phone can still be good, but it’s just…different.

Meeting onsite with your therapist is always the way to go, but it’s not always possible. People are limited by financial reasons, distance, and busy work schedules that stop you from seeing your therapist as much as you’d like.

Thankfully, therapists are using technology to make it easier for you. Many clients hire therapists on retainer for shorter, more regular interactions that supplement face-to-face sessions.

Online couple counseling 

Onsite Couples Counseling 

Some couples I see are so far down a path that they can’t even see where they began anymore. The way we live every day becomes a habit. It can be hard to step outside of ourselves and see how we’ve created the lives we have.

When couples come in, it’s a nuanced process of removing layers. It may require working through years of resentment about imbalances in a relationship. We may have to dig a bit into what’s driving sexual inhibitions. It’s not usually easy, but therapy work for couples struggling can be extremely healing and beneficial to relationships.

We all carry baggage related to our family and place of origin. Our childhood experiences have an outsized impact on who we become. Bullying, shame, trauma and other things that happened to us when we were kids still influence who we are today. Systems and the way we process things runs deep.

Couples therapy is often emotionally intense. There’s this huge outpouring feeling, whether it be anger, love, regret, or hope. You might have some homework or things to work on with your partner or spouse until the next time you meet with your therapist.

You leave with high expectations and then life gets in the way. It might be a week, two, or even longer until you see your therapist again. Unless you’re taking copious notes, it’s hard to remember all the things that worked as well as the issues you want to bring up in the next session. It’s one of the main limitations of in-person therapy.

 

Is Online Couples Counseling for You? Get a Therapist on Retainer!

Online couples counseling, which I like to call “therapy on retainer” is an option many therapists at Life Coaching and Therapy offer today.

Essentially, online couples counseling gives you more regular access to your therapist, though your interactions will be shorter and done over text or phone.

It’s not a replacement for ongoing face-to-face counseling. It most likely is not covered by insurance.

However, just like using “FaceTime” and other video technology helped make therapy better, therapy on retainer uses texting, email, and phone to supplement ongoing counseling.

Here are some of the main benefits of therapy on retainer and why you should consider it:

 

Ongoing Contact

 

The bottom line is you get more access to your therapist. It’s not deep access, but for people who need more follow-up, it’s a great benefit. For example, if you and your spouse get into an argument or are “stuck”, you can reach out to your therapist for help.

Likewise, you can celebrate successes as they happen instead of waiting a week or longer to go over it with your therapist. This can help reinforce positive behavior and communication that will help make it a habit faster.

In emergencies or times of crisis, it’s also a huge comfort to know you can talk to your therapist and get counseling without having to schedule an appointment or leave work.

 

It Works for Couples

Getting into your therapist by yourself can be difficult. Juggling work, school, kids, dinner, and whatever else is on your plate is hard! With your spouse or partner, it’s even more challenging.

Using online couples counseling or therapy on retainer makes it easier for you and your partner to engage with your therapist regularly. You can conference call or group text, so everyone’s opinion is shared and heard. There’s no repeating or going over what you said in your last session if your partner couldn’t make it.

With texting and other forms of communication, both partners can chime in on what works and what needs to be addressed when you’re all physically together again. It helps remove nuance that so often gets in the way.

online couples therapy 

Regular Follow Up Creates Daily Habits

The more follow up you build into your life, the better. As therapists, we do our bests to create personalized plans to help you become what you want or deal with the things that are holding you back.

When follow up happens on a weekly or biweekly basis in counseling sessions, that’s great! When it can be done daily, that’s even better.

We are all creatures of habit. The things we do well and don’t do so well, over time, become habits. With therapy on retainer, there can be small interactions throughout the week that keep you on your game. You can course-correct as you come across issues as they arise.

 

Try a Mix and Stick with What Works

Trying therapy on retainer is an excellent add-on to traditional counseling. If you’ve never done it before, talk to your therapist about whether they offer it as an option. It could be the more regular connection you need to see real improvement in intimacy, communication, or whatever else you’re working on.

A good therapist will use the more regular dialogue to help you form behaviors that help you accomplish your goals. They’ll also be there in times of need. Reaction to a text or call my not be immediate if they’re meeting with someone else but knowing you don’t have to wait a week or more to speak to your therapist is a great comfort.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

COVID Anxiety

COVID Anxiety with Children

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COVID Anxiety with Children

 

COVID anxiety is a real thing.

The last three weeks have been a crazy whirlwind. All of our lives have been turned upside down because of the Coronavirus. Schools have been canceled, millions of people have lost their jobs, and we can’t even enjoy being outside like we did just last month.

Even if you are one of the lucky ones able to work from home, you’re probably still feeling a great deal of disruption. By now, you’ve socially distanced yourself into isolation. Regular life is now Zoom conference calls and sweatpants at home all day. Maybe you get out for a run or a walk, and that’s about it.

The impact of what’s going on has so many layers it’s hard to process. Managing working from home with kids out of school all while watching the news of new cases and rising casualty numbers is nerve-wracking. The financial markets are in turmoil and there’s a general feeling of uncertainty.

How can you manage stress and COVID anxiety when the future is so unsure, and everything looks so bleak?

 

Shrink Your Circle

This is not the time to be worried about whether your kid is getting points for doing the extra credit assignment. Don’t fret over missing yoga or not getting in your gym time. During a crisis that threatens all of your normal, do what you can to shrink your circle into things you can control. Leave everything else outside.

Most people do well with a routine. You may be struggling with anxiety because yours has been torn to pieces. Start again new by making a fresh routine based on your reality. Avoid starting every day with a question mark or vague outlines of what’s supposed to happen. Break up your day into time slots. Dedicate specific time to work, cleaning, and homework.

Pay attention to your mood and your body. It will tell you what you need to feel calm and secure. You may need a clean house to feel grounded. Maybe it’s a shower. Whatever it is, your body will communicate what it needs as well.

If you’ve got kids, they’ll thrive on routine. Think about it. All day, they’re at school where every fifteen minutes is planned. They walk in lines and complete assignments. Suddenly, they’re dealing with online portals and weekly communications from their teachers. They haven’t seen their friends in weeks.

A routine can shield your kids from the COVID anxiety so many of them are feeling.

 

Reach Out Instead of Looking In

Times like this it’s easy for anxiety to snowball and spiral out of control. How can you break your attention away from all of the negativity?

Serving others is a way out if you’re lost in worry and stress. And it doesn’t mean you have to start a massive donation drive for your local hospital. 

You can contribute to ongoing efforts to help people affected deeply by Coronavirus by helping those in your inner circle who may be struggling.

After weeks of social distancing, think about how grateful you are for the friends and family who randomly check in on you from time to time. 

Are you doing the same for the people you care about? 🤔

Try talking to your neighbors. Make sure they’re ok. Have frank conversations with your spouse or partner(s) to let them know you are there for them and care about how they’re doing.

You’ll notice that as you focus your attention outwards, you’ll be less stressed about how quarantine and the virus are affecting you. 

It can be a nice paradigm or perspective adjustment to just try to contribute more in ways that bring YOU joy. 

Quarantine Self Care

Get Physical!

Exercise, hug the people you live with, and have as much sex as you can! 

We take for granted what a handshake, a hug from a friend over coffee, and a kiss from a lover can do for us. 

Humans are so physical by nature that a month of standing six feet apart has huge implications for our mental health.

Even in places that are in total lockdown, you can still get out for a jog or a brisk walk. Make sure you do something physical every day.

Intimacy with your partner should also be a priority. Prioritize sex. 

Don’t let the doldrums of working from home and the kids around all the time stop you from expressing love for your partner physically. 

Get a sound machine and a lock on your bedroom door!

Sex can be the renewal you need and releases critical endorphins that can sustain you in times of stress.

Hug your children, or tell them how much you love them. Offer whatever reassurances you can.

COVID Anxiety

 

What’s Life Going to Look Like on the Other End?

Eventually, normal life will start to return. The stores will reopen, and you can go see a movie on the weekend. Normal probably isn’t going to look the same anymore. 

We’re all probably going to have a mask at the ready… and we’re going to be warier of touching things when we don’t know where they came from.

How is your life going to be different when that happens? Think about what made you the most stressed when Coronavirus hit. 

Was it not enough emergency cash? Did you feel insecure in your job? Did you have the medical supplies or the food storage to get you through?

Downtime during Coronavirus is the perfect time to practice some goal setting for the future. You can avoid COVID anxiety and stress by creating conditions in which past pain has less chance of happening again.

 

Celebrate the Victories

Someone I know used time at home during the Coronavirus to teach his five-year-old daughter how to ride a two-wheel bike. There’s a lot of bad that has happened during the pandemic. 

Still, years down the road when he’s reminded of what we’re all going through now, he’s going to remember running around in the parking lot, bent over, killing his back as he ran after his daughter as she pedaled. 

It’s not going to be all bad… 

Create memorable moments with people who mean something in your life. 

Express gratitude for family and friends. 

Check-in, follow up and persist. 

We’ll all get through this.    

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

What is Video Online Therapy? Explained by a Sex Therapist

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What is Video Online Therapy? Explained by a Sex Therapist

 

So you want to understand  video online therapy?

 I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of video online therapy.

In this video, I’ll teach you the definition of  video online therapy, how it works, and who can benefit from  video online therapy.

In no time, you’ll take my advice to use for your family or friends in video online therapy!

Can’t wait for you to learn more!

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

sex counseling

Trauma Focused Therapy

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Trauma Focused Therapy

 

Trauma focused therapy is therapy that focuses on helping clients/patients heal from various events that have happened in their life. Trauma focused therapy does not mean just “talking” about trauma. There are a variety of modalities that are evidenced based that have been shown to help people heal from trauma.

Oftentimes, I have clients ask me, “what steps should I take in healing from trauma?“ “How can I find a therapist that can help me with trauma?” “I don’t want to feel this way anymore, what do I do?”

 

Find Trauma-informed Healthcare Providers

What does it mean to have a trauma-informed therapist? A trauma informed therapist or health care provider focuses on providing choice, asking for consent, and the language used on forms and within sessions. Health care providers that are trauma informed show ways that they are mindful of how trauma may be impacting the individual in their relationships and other various contexts.

Trauma informed health care providers are vital to the health care system because for those who have experienced trauma it is 100% necessary for individuals to be finding providers who are trauma informed. This allows for collaboration and self-advocacy, which is important to people who have experienced trauma.

 

Ask Them About Therapy Models

Therapists who are trauma-informed may also be trained in a variety of models to support people who have experienced. At Life Coaching and Therapy, here are some of the models we use to help with trauma. We use a variety of Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or TFCBT, EMDR, Parts Theory or “The Inner Aspects” Model! 

In the next week blog, we will explain what we actually do in each of these therapy models! 

At LCAT we are happy to help and many of us specialize in working in trauma. If you have any questions please contact us!

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Relationships covid-19

Relationships in Covid-19

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Relationships in Covid-19

 

It’s easy to love someone when you’re in control of how much time you spend together. When life’s normal, it feels like we spend a ton of time with the people we love. 

However, what about when life’s not normal? How does quarantine change things?

The Covid-19 epidemic has upended a lot of what we think is normal. We’re all working from home, we can’t go out, and when we do, we have to keep a distance between us and other people.

A lot of public figures have tried to put a positive spin on social distancing by encouraging you to spend more time with the people you love. That sounds like a wonderful thing to do, nevertheless you may find it’s not always the easiest.

Unfortunately, the people closest to us often bear the brunt of our stress and frustration over things we can’t control. During these incredibly stressful times, we need to focus on how we can nurture relationships with the people we love and avoid turning on each other.

 

Recognize the Pressure You’re Under

When you heard your company was going all-week teleworking for the foreseeable future, you probably got a bit excited. You had visions of you and your partner at the dining room table, laptops out, taking turns on conference calls.

You’d switch making nice, home cooked meals for each other and watch the world go by.

If you’ve gone through a week or two of teleworking with family at home, you know by now that the dream is often not the reality. Working from home can feel extremely alienating. Until they’re gone, we don’t notice how sustaining the routine and social interactions we have at work are.

Remote work can feel very lonely, and absent the frequent validation we feel at work. We must take regular self-inventory to come to grips with the emotions we’re going through.

 

Validate Your Loved Ones

Knowing how much of a strain you’re under, you can bet that your partner is under the same pressures. Even if they are more used to working from home, they’re not used to you being around all the time. There may even be some insecurity about you seeing how they use their time. Maybe they’re worried about how productive they appear around you.

Relationships Covid-19

What you can do during Covid-19 isolation is offer more positive feedback and validation to your loved ones. That means your spouse, partner, kids, and whoever you’re at home with.

If your loved one is one of the few that are still going to work because they can’t telework or they’re serving a crucial function (like a healthcare worker), then they probably need even more support.

 

Periodic Relationship Social Distancing During Covid-19

Maybe one of the benefits of the Covid-19 crisis is that we’re all going to become a bit more emotionally mature. Even though staying at home more could sound like fun at first, you’re likely to find out rather quickly how important having space is.

Even though spending all day with the fam sounds like a dream, it’s gonna get old real quick. You need to practice social distancing indoors as well to keep things harmonious.

Don’t feel like you need to do everything together. Take a walk by yourself. Work in the bedroom one morning. If you’ve got kids, play a board game with them one afternoon so your partner can get some real work done.

Going from spending a few hours together each day to spending ALL day with your partner is a huge adjustment. Make sure you maintain some distance and help each other cope through this difficult time.

 

Find Ways to Relax

Yes, you should keep exercising during the epidemic. Stress eating is real folks, and a lot of us are doing it. Sadly, we’re not talking about going for an early jog.

I mean, no one works every minute of the workday while they’re at work. We have breaks, stop for lunch, and if you work in an office you probably don’t want to count how many times you’ve checked Instagram or texted with friends.

If you’re new to teleworking, it’s probably going to take a few days, and eventually, you’ll relax and realize that productivity doesn’t mean sitting in front of your computer waiting for an email to come in.

Push away from the table, leave your phone on the counter, and take a breather every once in a while. If you’re stuck inside all day with your partner, go over and scratch their back, take a break and cuddle on the bed. Increasing physical touch is a great stress reliever.

 

Creative Ways to Work Up a Sweat

Sex is perhaps the greatest stress reducer if done right. For you, with a hectic work schedule and other obligations, it may have been a while since you had sex in the morning or made love on the couch with the TV on.

When routines are thrown out the window during Covid-19, it’s the perfect time to shake your sex routine up as well. Finding creative ways to make love and connect with your partner is exhilarating. It’s the perfect distraction from the chaos around us.

If you want to do your partner a favor, turn it on in the bedroom and get kinky! Break out the toys and maybe even mess with a new identity. Things are wacky right now, so you can blame the experimentation on the times. It’s a great excuse!

Try to sneak a quickie in between virtual work meetings. Commit to having more sex! We’ve all got more time on our hands, so break out of your “weekend only” routines.

Sex, when done right, can be about excitement, connection, intimacy, and so many more things. You can try all sorts of different sex while we’re dealing with the situation, we find ourselves in.

Above everything else, we should find ways to do what we can for those we care about during turbulent Covid-19 times. Reach out, be there, and show love.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

coronavirus

Coronavirus and Text Therapy

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Coronavirus and Text Therapy

 

Whatever you do, don’t panic. That was easy to say when Coronavirus was a problem other countries far away were dealing with, but it’s still true even today. Now that major sporting events are canceled and celebrities are posting that they’ve contracted the virus, everyone’s scratching their head about how concerned we should all be.

We’ve received a lot of inquiries about how the Coronavirus outbreak is going to affect counseling sessions and the way we interact with our clients. For sure, the response to the pandemic is going to alter all of us in the coming months.

CoronavirusWhat we do now to prepare will help us manage any turbulence ahead. How we manage our jobs, whether we can manage text therapy with our counselors, and maintain relationships with so much stress will be a challenge. As always, having a plan will help build certainty when it’s so hard to find in other places.

 

Relinquish Control of What You Cannot Change

This mantra has applications in responding to a Coronavirus outbreak and life in general. So many of us, clients and even therapists struggle to accept that change is part of being human.

We all can plan for something for years, however, when something crazy happens it’s rarely what we imagined. This is a great example right now. If you’d asked people a month ago what would send people running to the grocery store to stock up on toilet paper, they may have said something like a terrorist attack or some type of armed conflict. There was nothing like a pandemic on the horizon.

Coronavirus

Change happens fast, with medical issues, relationships, self-development, and many other areas of our lives. The sooner we accept that the less of a rippling effect change will have on us.

 

Build Contingency Plans for a Coronavirus Outbreak

Freezing economic and social activity is a massive challenge. If you think about it, we all have different tolerances for what’s acceptable. You might be ok with spending a week staying at home with your kids out of school trying to get some work done. But what about a month or three months? What if this thing is still going after six months?

Coronavirus

At some point, there’s only so much we can take. Maybe after struggling through some conference calls with kids screaming in the background, you’re willing to take your chances on the subway again. That’s obviously a joke, but the point is that perspective matters.

With so much out of our control, we have to try and control what we can. Creating a contingency plan for how you’re going to manage life in a new environment like the one Coronavirus is currently imposing on us is a good start.

List out the things you do regularly. What are you doing in person that can be done virtually? What are the “optional” activities that you participate in that can be postponed? If you can’t go in person, is meeting remotely even an option?

Getting a grip on what’s a “must” and what are the “maybes” will help you manage the chaos if it deepens.

 

Prepare What You Can

Ask your therapist if they offer remote therapy sessions. A lot of practices give video therapy sessions that provide a good alternative when meeting physically isn’t feasible.

We, and some other therapists, also give clients the option to practice what’s called text therapy. With text therapy, you get to engage with your therapist is a more casual form via text message. Conversations, due to the time it takes to type, aren’t as long or as in-depth, but there are some definite benefits.

Here are some of the positives of text therapy:

Text When You’re in the Moment:

How many times have you thought something or come across a situation and thought, “Ooh, I need to talk about this with my therapist!”, only to forget what happened because your next appointment is a week away?

With text therapy, you can shoot a message to your therapist in real-time. You can list your emotions, what triggered the scenario, and reflect on how things went after the fact. Your therapist will see you as you’re raw in the situation. Some great breakthroughs can emerge as a result.

 

Group Chats are Easy on Schedules:

It’s hard, especially when you’re in therapy with a spouse or partner, to get everyone’s schedules aligned. Text therapy is a great alternative because you all can engage and respond when you’re free. There’s always a written record of the conversation to go back over if you’re in the middle of something. There isn’t anymore, “Do you remember when you said…?”

 

Therapy from a Distance:

You don’t need to be in the same room with your therapist. Even if you aren’t locked in your room waiting for Coronavirus to recede, you can get help and talk things over. You might be on a business trip or a vacation and need to run something by your therapist. It’s a great way to keep a constant flow of communication.

 

Give Text Therapy a Dry Run

There’s no harm giving text therapy a dry run to see if it’s for you before something like social distancing is encouraged or even mandated. Ask your therapist if you can give it a try and see how you feel and respond to the new way of communicating.

coronavirus

A lot of people are surprised to find that they’re more introspective when they have to type down their feelings. When we’re in person, there’s a beauty to the free flow of words streaming from our subconscious. However, having to take the time to write down our thoughts can also be beneficial because it captures how we truly feel.

We should all be grateful that technology has come so far in recent years to give us the option to work from home, find out what’s happening quickly, and even text with our therapists if necessary. Generations ago, who knows what kind of impact the Coronavirus outbreak would have had when staying home for weeks wasn’t an option for so many people.

Text therapy is a fantastic tool that can help you get the counseling and encouragement you need even when life throws a major curveball that’s out of your control.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Trauma Meaning

What is Trauma? Introducing the Trauma Meaning

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What is Trauma? Introducing the Trauma Meaning.

There is so much debate as to what to include and exclude in the trauma meaning. 

Trauma. Ugh.

Throughout history, the trauma meaning specifically centered around serving those in the armed services, firefighters, war veterans, police officers, and first responders experiencing symptoms after exposure to one event.

The natural progression for trauma connected to symptoms after one event began to expand and connect to those individuals who have experienced physical abuse, domestic violence, and / or sexual violence. 

Those individuals who are exposed to a threatening or disturbing event or series of events that have lasting distressing mental or emotional responses, causing the individual to feel overwhelmed in their ability to cope and integrate into their current life experience is what we define as the most broad “trauma meaning.” 

trauma meaning

This quickly didn’t serve individuals experiencing trauma though, because more seemed to be happening. Why was it that two people who experienced the same event could each process this event differently – where one may have experienced it as a trauma, the other may not.

After 10 years of being a trauma therapist, I realize the massive amounts of individuals experiencing varying levels of trauma that this PTSD trauma meaning has left out.  

Trauma as only from the perspective of the individual is not an trauma-focused approach to therapy. 

We must consider the effects that come from our societal beliefs, systemic impacts, and cultural constructs, so you can begin to notice what I see becoming a public health issue. 

 

The Progression of Our Understanding of Trauma

Initially, the definition focused on the individual and how the individual experienced the traumatic event. Similarly, the trauma meaning had to do with a specific event or events (like those listed above).

Massive research has been under way for the last fifty or so years, identifying that symptoms related to trauma is more about the way our brain responds to various events or experiences over time.

These experiences shape individuals and families and can reverberate through the family system into other relationships throughout the course of people’s lives, even if they were not direct experiencers of the trauma. 

Trauma effects are intergenerational. 

These dynamics can unconsciously continue from generation to generation, until one or more people decide to make the change. 

We now are able to see that trauma is relational, it does not exist in a vacuum affecting only one person. The trauma meaning has to include the ripple effect across that individual’s world. 

In my practice, I see that the massive impact of trauma on individuals, families, friendships, and their romantic relationships. 

Confronting these realities and having insight to them allows for opportunities for growth and healing. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.