Tag Archive for: sex

sex in the summer

How to keep cool while having sex in the summer

Recently Canela Lopez, writer at the Insider spoke to five sexologists and sex therapists on how to keep cool while having sex in the summer.

Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, International Clinical Sexologist and Life Coaching and Therapy founder was interviewed by Lopez and provided her tips on having comfortable sex in the summer hot weather:

1) Why do some people find it more uncomfortable to have sex in hot weather?

People find it uncomfortable, because they usually are breathing incorrectly to begin with and aren’t hydrated. Therefore, when you add heat, and perspiration, this triggers “turn off” to certain individuals. Specifically those who are sensitive to touch and scents.

2) What awesome steps can couples take to make sex in the summer months more comfortable? 

It’s important to change your sheets weekly. Buy a sex blanket or use a towel to have close by! Always consider keeping lube right on your bedstead, so it is convenient.

If changing your sheets isn’t helping, it might be time to consider buying a bigger bed.

Those who have more space are often more comfortable. Especially if one tends to run hot, it gives them connection. What I notice for those who share a queen is that one partner will go to a different bedroom and that ends up causing a disconnect erotically for the couple.

  • Summer heat can put a huge damper on your sex life, especially if you and your partner are sweat-averse.
  • Cranking the A/C unit or central air might be your first instinct to deal with the heat, but positioning a fan above you or having sex on cooler surfaces like shower tile, kitchen counters, and washing machines can also help.
  • Changing your outlook on sweat and body odor can also improve your sex life in the summer.

Sex in the summer can be a sticky disaster if you’re averse to sweat, body odor, and heat.

Though not everyone’s libido takes a hit, the heat can make couples more reluctant to get it on and even make it more difficult to cuddle.

“Vigorous sex can be a cardiovascular workout in and of itself, so sex in hot weather can be as challenging on the body as going for a run, for instance,” Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sexuality educator & author, told Insider. “Lovers may also be more self-conscious about being sweatier, stickier and smellier than normal, including in their groin area. Body ‘farts’ from the wetness may also be a consequence, as bodies rub together, and a humorous distraction.”

Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Buehler told Insider taking a lukewarm shower and patting down with a towel before having sex can help keep you cool while getting down and dirty.

If you have good balance, consider have shower sex.

“They make hand grips and foot shelves to make it possible,” Buehler told Insider. “If you’re both smaller in stature, you can try the tub.”

Running an air-conditioning unit can also help cool you down.

“Speaking from personal experience, if you are able, get solar and run your A/C with abandon,” Buehler told Insider.

But if you’re trying to save money, getting a small fan and positioning it strategically can be a great alternative.

“Position a fan so that it blows on you, as the cooling effect will bring your skin to life in a totally different way, [like] some lovers experiencing harder nipples,” Fulbright said. “Having the fan blow on your bottoms in certain positions [like] doggie style will have you experiencing sex in a noticeably different, but delightfully pleasurable way.”

Between the Sheets

Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and couples therapist and author of “Getting the Sex You Want,” told Insider the types of sheets you use during sex can actually be making you hotter. To avoid any unnecessary sweating, make sure to use pure cotton sheets.

“It’s important to change your sheets weekly,” Amanda Pasciucco, a sexologist and sex therapist based in Hartford, told Insider. “Buy a sex blanket or use a towel to have close by!”

If changing your sheets isn’t helping, Pasciucco said it might be time to consider buying a bigger bed.

“I realize that those who have more space are often more comfortable. Especially if one tends to run hot, it gives them connection,” Pasciucco told Insider. What I notice for those who share a queen is that one partner will go to a different bedroom and that ends up causing a disconnect erotically for the couple.”

A lot of the stress that comes with summertime sex comes from the amount of sex and body heat exchanged when getting intimate.

Different sex positions could help limit that contact while keeping things pleasurable.

“Try some positions where your bodies are not directly touching as much like from behind or off the side of the bed,” Dr. Rachel Needle, a psychologist and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, told Insider. “The less your bodies touch, the cooler you will be.”

Doggie style, fisting, and ride style positions can all help you get around the heat.

Cold props and toys can offer fun sensations with while helping you and your partner (or partners) cool down.

“Rub ice cubes all over each other’s bodies to cool things off,” Needle said. “You can use cold items like ice creatively to increase pleasure and comfort.”

If you’re feeling particularly adventurous and the bedroom is simply too hot, trying out different surfaces around the house that are cooler to the touch can help.

“Find other places in your home and try new sexual positions, ones where you won’t have as much skin to skin contact,” Nelson told Insider. “For instance, standing up against counters in a kitchen or bathroom or up against washers or dryers in a laundry room. The stainless steel or granite can be cooler against your skin.”

If you live with roommates, make sure to ask before going ahead and disinfect the surface when you’re done.

Enjoy your wonderful, sex-filled summer!


If you aren’t having the best sex of your life, schedule an appointment with Life Coaching and Therapy.


Female Orgasm

Female Orgasm: Seven Areas of Pleasure

Female Orgasm: Seven Areas of Pleasure

female orgasm

There are many areas of female orgasm, and each are delicious ways of experiencing pleasure.

Today we are speaking to those who have vulvas, not just those who identify as females, because all are welcome here!

An orgasm is the body’s response to receiving sexual stimulation from intimate encounters, caresses or intercourse.

For all people. blood accumulates in the genital area during the sexual stimulation process, and it is released when the bodily function of orgasm occurs.

Orgasms are accompanied by a series of sensations that often produce intense pleasure and feelings of sexual satisfaction, adrenaline, oxytocin, and other feel good hormones! 

If I didn’t mention the power of the brain and imagination in orgasm, I would be doing us all a disservice. Meaning, you have to be turned on in your mind. So, psychosexual therapy exercises may help if this doesn’t make any sense to you!

After you get warmed up, come join us in the seven areas of female orgasms! 

1. Sex for One or More! Clitoral Pleasure in Female Orgasm

This is the most favored area to achieve female orgasm thanks to 8,000 nerve endings. The clitoris is designed to give pleasure and 80% of women report needing direct stimulation of the clitoral glands to have an orgasm.

The sensation is often localized, sharp, powerful, and quick in duration.

Rubbing, oral sex, the use of sex toys or certain postures that favor the friction of the pubis are ways to trigger clitoris stimulation.

2. Entering the Vagina

The walls of the vagina have thousands of nerves that require a patient stimulation rhythm to achieve orgasm. The thing is that the vagina doesn’t have the same amount of pleasure that comes from the areas where the clitoris is involved. Meaning, this is likely due to minimize pain. 

3. Cervical Pleasure

This type of orgasm takes its name from the cervix, which is the female reproductive organ that connects with the uterus. The cervix is three centimeters long and 2.5 centimeters in diameter. First, understand where your cervix is located. Then, instruct your partner to massage it with strokes. Consider “doggy style” sex position, because penetration is deep.

4. A-Spot Pleasure

The A-spot orgasm is found in the vagina and creates more intense female orgasms – even multiples! The A spot or Anterior Fornix Erogenous (AFE) zone, was reported to be found in the 90’s by Malaysian doctor, Chua Chee Ann.

It is located above the G spot about 7.5 centimeters from the entrance of the vagina, and on the anterior side, near the cervix.

If you want to explore finding it, sexual positions with penetration from behind, or the missionary position of the jackhammer will help! 

5. The Famous G-Spot


Try the following to find your G spot:

  1. Insert a finger into the vagina.
  2. Feel for the front wall (the side where the navel is located).
  3. Move your finger around until you find a spot that feels different when you press or rub it.
  4. If you feel the urge to urinate, do not be concerned – this is normal and it’s a good sign.

The most unique aspect of a G spot orgasm is that it can be accompanied by female ejaculation, which is completely normal.

The urethra releases the ejaculation fluid, and it contains prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP)! 

6. The “U-Spot”

The U spot is located at the entrance to the urethra (located just above the vaginal orifice in the middle of the lips).

Many women enjoy a gentle stimulation in this area with fingers and tongue. 

7. Full-Body Orgasms

Full-body orgasms occur when a female orgasms throughout her entire body. We recommend full-body orgasms as often as possible! Especially during the same sexual session.

This type of pleasure happens the more you love and the more you know your body!  If you need tips on how to experience sexual nirvana, we can help

The skin is a great source of pleasure – for everyone. The mind as well! 

Explore by yourself or with your partner, and the greater your chances will become of achieving pleasure from multiple areas!

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

Get your copy of Bliss: Proven Solutions for Improving the Female O

Get Bliss: Proven Methods for Improving Female O

Sex Therapy Videos Female Orgasm Video Therapy

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Pleasuring a Woman: What You Should Know Before Having Sex

Pleasuring a Woman: What You Should Know Before Having Sex


What are you up to for Valentine’s Day? If you’re in for a romantic night, I hope my tips can help you out! No matter what stage of love you’re in, it doesn’t hurt to make sure you’re on the right track in your relationship!


Check out this video!


So you want to please a woman in bed.. The art of pleasuring a woman in bed isn’t easy, especially if you aren’t too educated in female anatomy. That’s the key on how to please a woman in bed or on how to satisfy a woman in bed. How to give pleasure can be mastered with practice!


I will give you my insight as a sex therapist and a woman on how to give pleasure, give women pleasure, that is. Giving her pleasure is important, of course! You’re here because you want to better understand giving her pleasure since you love her. Giving women pleasure is definitely a talent that can be improved on, no worries.  This is what every man needs to know before having sex!



Here in the United States, we tend to associate hourly hotels and motels with prostitution or infidelity. But whether you and your significant other are visiting a cheap roadside inn, a five-star luxury hotel or something in between, there’s no doubt that even one night away from home can give your sex life a boost.
“About once a month, one of my clients will tell me that they had ‘the best sex’ while at a hotel,” sex therapist Amanda Pasciucco said. So what is it about hotel sex that makes it so hot?
One factor at play is the novelty aspect. “There’s something liberating and decadent about staying in a hotel: a break from the monotony of our daily lives, new surroundings to explore, fine restaurants, high-quality linens, room service, maybe even a spa or hot tub,” sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson said. “Research shows that novelty activates the neurochemical dopamine, which stimulates the reward center in the brain and enhances libido.”
Playboy article on sexual choking

Sexual choking uncovered in Playboy

Amanda Pasciucco was interviewed for a Playboy magazine article about sexual choking.

So You’re Into Choking…

Written by


One of the common questions I’m asked, both as a woman and the Playboy Advisor, goes something like this: “My girlfriend is into choking. What’s up with that?”

As someone who occasionally enjoys a little light gripping of the neck, that question is something worth exploring because, to be honest, I don’t have the answer. In fact, the question alone brings up feelings of internal shame and embarrassment. Is there something wrong with me? I’m not alone in my confusion. As one man told me for this story, “I like choking, but question women who want to be choked too hard. That’s not because I’m judging, but because I wonder why anyone would want to feel like they’re about to die?”

To come to grip with this increasingly popular sex act—which in its varying forms ranges from breathplay to erotic asphyxiation—I decided to speak with six experts on the subject.

One thing that stood out right away is this important warning: Erotic choking is dangerous no matter your level of engagement or expertise. Before we dive into the physiological and psychological factors at play, let’s start with safety.

Across the board, experts urges extreme caution “We get a lot of mixed messages because of the depiction of it in porn,” says certified sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson, “but sexual choking or breath play is really dangerous. Even in the BDSM community, it’s never safe. There is always a lethal risk.” “Because of the risk, the absolute safest way to practice this activity is to keep it as a fantasy,” Heather McPherson, a licensed marriage therapist explains. “Breath play, erotic choking and erotic asphyxiation are generally terms recognized under the umbrella of edgeplay. This type of activity is recognized as high-risk even for experienced individuals.” And clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet says, “The only way to ensure safety is to not participate in this at all.”

But if you still insist on experimenting with breath play, certified sex therapist and author Amanda Pasciucco says to “take a class on the subject. Choking is an easy way to have fun and explore with a partner, but there is definitely a safe way and a dangerous way to choke. Whatever you do, do not put pressure on the trachea.”

McPherson advises, “the person performing this activity should be trained in CPR, highly educated in the physiological effects and keenly aware of the risk involved. It’s important to stay attuned to your partner’s responses and to communicate to each other throughout the experience. Discuss all of this long before play takes place and establish a verbal safe word and non-verbal safe action.”

So what exactly is going on physiologically when a person gets choked? Well, you’re literally robbing your brain of oxygen. “This could bring about a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state. Hypoxia can occur if you reduce oxygen intake or if you reduce blood flow to the brain. It can make a person lightheaded, giddy and can allegedly intensify an orgasm,” explains McPherson. The rush of oxygen after the release of a choke timed with climax can create “a different kind of orgasm that isn’t replicated in vanilla sex or masturbation,” says Overstreet. “The pleasure-seeking center of the brain gets pushed into overdrive during erotic choking. Pushing the limit and walking the thin line between breathing or not breathing can send a powerful surge of endorphins throughout the body.”

The psychological effect of erotic choking is almost more powerful than the physical, although the interplay of sex and death and chemistry is what makes this practice so intoxicating. One man confessed to me, “I’m in to it giving but I hate receiving—talk about control issues.” A woman said, “For me, it gives me the ability to just lose control for a little while. I feel like I’m always in such control of whatever I’m doing it’s nice to be able to release and let someone else have the ability to take over for those few moments.”

This woman’s experience reflects a pattern observed by the experts working with thousands of individuals for decades. “For women who are being choked, it’s liberating to give up control and trust someone with your life,” says Anderson. “For men who enjoy choking it’s about what a woman is willing to let him do and the fact that this woman trusts him with her life. Both sexes get off on getting as close to death as you can—and cheating it.”

“Through my years of experience with my private practice I have learned a great deal about the correlation between one’s sexuality and their beliefs and attitude on death. An example: many individuals who fear death have a fear of sex. One’s own relationship to death is almost always reflected in one’s sexuality. This includes fetishes such as erotic choking,” says Dr. Stephanie Hunter Jones.

”Often, we do things sexually because we know it turns our partner on. That fact in and of itself can be a turn on for us—knowing that we (our bodies) are supplying the pleasure,” says Dr. Debra Laino. “The control of taking someone’s life (breath) away and then giving it back to them is exhilarating for some. For some it is the depth of love making, which includes a different level of trust and intimacy.”

The vast majority of the 30 women I interviewed enjoyed an occasional light erotic choke, but that seems to be the threshold for most women; less than a third of them express an interest in exploring anything beyond that such as ties or a full choke. My girlfriend summed it up in a nutshell when she said, “Powerlessness, trust and pleasure.”

The BDSM community’s mantra is “Safe, Sane and Consensual.” One man broke that down saying, “For me, as an element of a power play, erotic choking can be fun. As someone who is dominant in the bedroom, I can be into choking with a few essential things in mind: a suggestion by my partner that it is desirable; establishment of a safe word and safe action (three taps on my hip or a pillow; and sufficient awareness of human anatomy. Always focus pressure on sides of neck and avoid pressure to trachea.”

It’s the latter that you must take precautions with during breath play. It’s all too easy to accidentally cause real injury while role-playing. In order to avoid injuries and misunderstandings, make sure it’s always consensual; if a man I didn’t know that well started choking me, it would scare the shit out of me.

Make sure you do your homework. Find an expert to teach you the correct way to engage in breath play. Many local sex-toy shops offer classes in various forms of kink and there are many “experts” online—but as you would when shopping for any kind of expertise online, exercise caution and be discerning about whom you might meet in real life.

“This can be a dangerous pleasure. Never use alcohol or drugs when engaging in this play,” says Jones. “Remember, this type of play can become highly addictive and as with all addictions, can leave an individual with a craving of needing more and more to satisfy them.”

But if just reading this piece gives you a half chub, there’s nothing wrong with you. If you want to explore it, that’s perfectly natural, and I highly recommend it—but do so with caution.




Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex


About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Newsweek – Teens having less sex!

Teens today are having less sex! But are researchers asking the right questions?


Some experts, such as Amanda Pasciucco, a certified sex therapist with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and author, argue that something far more insidious is driving a decline in sexual intercourse: easy access to free porn. “Now you can just go on your phones,” she says. “It’s very easy to just Google something, and it’s much easier to have sex with yourself than go through the anxiety of having sex with someone else.”



Thirteen Reasons Why

#thirteenreasonswhy you should see a sex therapist.


  1. Most couples issues are sex related anyway!
  2. Sex is an overlooked source of eating disorder issues.
  3. Because you are embarrassed about your body.
  4. Spruce up your routine sex life with your partner.
  5. To find out what turns you on.
  6. Explore your sensuality and what that means to you.
  7. Find juiciness within your mundane life.
  8. To love how your body looks naked.
  9. Because learning the human anatomy and how it works for pleasure is interesting!
  10. You’re not having sex with your partner daily!
  11. To get more powerful and frequent orgasms.
  12. Introduction into alternative lifestyles.
  13. To learn how to become tantric.
Amanda Pasciucco, Sex Therapy, gender hartford, west hartford gender, west hartford race, west hartford divorce, west hartford dating, west hartford new marriage, west hartford parents

The Joy of Sunshine

The Joy of Sunshine


By Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, CST


As soon as the sun starts shining, the world gets happier. Recently, it hit 60 degrees in New England, and it seemed like everyone was more cheerful. I noticed more people smiling, individuals being friendly and courteous, and a diminished sense of “rushing” or “urgency” around me. I appreciated the sudden shift in energy and decided to delve into understanding this sunshine shift.


My recent experience. I was blessed with the privilege of retreating to the beach recently. I decided to go on a solo excursion to enjoy the peace of the water and basking in the glorious sunlight. I had my apprehensions before going: the cost of getting in, the crowds who would have the same idea, and my fear of bees swarming. I decided to forget about that and just take time to appreciate the opportunity.


I arrived (there was no cost to enter), I made my way to the beach (there were barely any people around), and I relaxed (only flies… no bees). I looked around and truly appreciated the moment that I was in. I felt so thankful for that moment where the sun was beating on me, I had nothing to do, and I could just enjoy the sights, sounds, and feeling of that moment. This sense of peace stayed with me throughout the entire rest of the day. I never felt so calm and at ease as I did when I made a conscious effort to be mindful and present within the sunlight.


Note to self: get out in the sun more often!


The science behind it. In earlier times, people spent most of their time outdoors and in the sunlight. We know that, now, we spend much more time indoors, thus we refrain from getting the necessary amount of Vitamin D. The importance of this vitamin is to keep our immune systems working hard to fight off infections and to support bone growth. In addition to providing us with Vitamin D, sunlight triggers the circadian rhythms (our awake-to-sleep cycles). When sunlight hits our optic nerves, the brain slows down on its release of melatonin (the hormone responsible for sleep) and increases our serotonin (which is responsible for wakefulness and feelings of happiness). After the sun sets, this cycle reverses. The more sun we get, the more serotonin the brain produces.


Sunlight = Happiness. In addition to the scientific part of it, there is also a psychological factor. We tend to associate sunlight with vacations and tanning with days off from work. This mental state leads to a happier self. Due to both the psychological and scientific aspects, I believe I have my answer as to why the world just seems happier when the sun comes out. Look forward to a summer of friendlier faces.