Improving couples sex life

Why You Need A Sex Coach!


Why You Need A Sex Coach!

We know it’s tough when you are asking for help with depression or anxiety. At least with that, most people know what to expect when they arrive in a therapy session. But what about when you need help with sex?

Did you miss the “how to have sex” class too? Although you have the desire to have sex and connect, the skills to do so effectively is not something most people do effectively. The truth is that people need to learn how to have great sex. We aren’t all just “born with it” – it is a skill set. Similar to regular life coaching, in sex coaching the client comes to the coach with a sex problem like erectile dysfunction, low desire, premature ejaculation, etc.

A sex coach could help you solve your intimacy problem. Since sex is so shamed in our culture, talking about it or giving explicit instruction on “how-to” still remains pretty taboo. With the advent of porn, adults now have more access to sexual materials yet few examples on how to learn satisfying mutual pleasure techniques. If people knew how to clearly articulate their needs and feelings, maybe being a sex coach wouldn’t be needed.

Unfortunately, most people don’t give good feedback, so many people end up not feeling fulfilled. Believe it or not, sex is learnable and teachable! The best way to learn about it is to get feedback from an experienced, non-judgmental, or cheerleader who is in your corner discussing strategies prior to sexual activity. A sex coach is more of a facilitator than a therapist – talking about future solutions verses the past and traumas.

For all you who are wondering – NO, you won’t have to take off your clothes in the session!

Like life coaches, all experienced sex coaches spend their careers examining research, developing techniques, and learning about the human condition. They use that knowledge to help clients understand themselves better.

To explain what happens when you seek sex therapy, let’s start with the difference between a sex coach and a sex therapist:

Sex therapists have qualifications in therapy (or counseling) and depending on where you live can be psychologists, psychotherapists, or counselors. They are experienced in particular methods of therapy and have specific training and experience in working with psychosexual issues: issues relating to gender and sexuality and sexual problems. Sex therapists spend a considerable time looking at the past in order to help people to resolve issues, figure out patterns and gain the tools to change the patterns.

Sex coaches, on the other hand,  do talk about the past, but spend most of the time future oriented. Fun fact! Some sex coaches can have no qualifications at all. It is good to ask the coaches background. Some are psychologists, counselors, ministers, educators, or therapists. They are experienced in helping clients move forward into the future so they can meet the goals they set and create the life that they desire.

Reasons you need to see a sex coach:

  1. You don’t understand sex. I mean you get it, but you don’t “get it!” When you see it in all the movies, it looks super juicy but in real life is not the same…
  2. You are out of ideas. You remember when the sparks used to fly in the beginning! But you don’t feel the same way anymore. You find yourself in what looks like a routine transactional exchange. You feel an orgasm… but you don’t feel orgasmic.
  3. You spend way too much intimate time with your phone instead on your own love life.

Most commonly, my favorite example of what a sex coach can do that a therapist can’t is go with a client to a social event to observe and model behavior.

Sex coaching isn’t just for the sexless. We talk through potential approaches to resolve your challenges in all aspects of your intimate life. The cultural narrative suggests that only a certain type of person would go to life coaching and therapy. I will tell you that being a sex coach and a therapist have taught me that there is no stereotype to who needs help!

Unfortunately, we often see clients with desire diminished due to pornography use, infidelity or emotional affairs, boredom of the same intimate routines, or the comfort of relationship security leading to less quality time due to a focus on other activities.

What happens if I don’t see a sex coach?

  • You may not be able to get to your desired intimacy outcomes due to blocks around shame, embarrassment or insecurity.
  • Your levels of sexual desire may continue to be vastly different than your partner or what you would like it to be.
  • You may be stuck having routine sex your whole life although research would show that this is NOT the pathway to passion.

sex coach

I’m Amanda Pasciucco and I want to present you to my team of licensed therapists. I am an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and my staff and I provide board-certified continuing education for adults.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (L-CAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training, we transform intimate lives!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

couples intimacy workshop

Sex Therapy Exercises

Sex Therapy Exercises

Take a step into healing and wholeness this summer by focusing on some sex therapy exercises!Strut around this summer in your flats as spring has sprung, beautiful!


Ever find yourself in a group of people who are just complaining about work or their relationships? Ever hear more about their intimate lives?

Sometimes, it is embarassing but googling “sex therapy exercises” can actually help if you can’t find a way to speak about more sensitive topics on the homefront.


Chances are if you landed here, it is because you need some spice in your sexual experiences.

Most people are scared to open up fully to a partner or can’t figure out how to take it from single to married!

If you work with a sex therapist, they will most likely give you sex therapy exercises if you ask for it. Because, you know, sometimes once-a-week therapy just isn’t enough.


The best way to get the life you want is to start to fill your mind and life with new and invigorating habits!


All sex therapy exercises will solve your presenting problems.

  • Communication
  • Trust
  • Routine (routine kills passion, always doing the same thing is boring and that’s what these exercises are for!)





Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means ‘to weave’ or ‘expansion through awareness.’

It’s the sexy side of yoga. It’s an ancient Eastern cultural tradition, that uses meditation, breathing exercises, yoga and mantras to weave the spiritual and physical in order to heal.  


What the …. ? Tantra as a form of Sex Therapy Exercises?


The aim of Tantra is to increase the level of sexual desire and intimacy through pleasure. It is the cultivating of sexual energy in the body to connect to something amazing!


There is a large population of women, and all genders, who cannot enjoy sex, and specifically suppress their sexual problems out of shame or not to come off as inappropriate.


Tantra can psychologically heal. It teaches people to embrace themselves and their sexuality by overcoming their sexual problems. It changed my life and it can change yours too!

How? Well… when a woman embraces her sexuality and does not regard it as a taboo aspect in her life, she FLIES across all psychological barriers that stop her from enjoying her life.


This in return, will build her self-confidence and self-esteem. She will take paths that challenged her before to build meaningful relationships that would nourish her soul.

If you want to do a guided tantra activity, click here!

Sensate Focus Exercises

Sensate focus exercises were developed by sex therapists Masters & Johnson. They can be used by any couple seeking to explore a new kind of intimacy!

These exercises are typically done in steps or stages over a period of several weeks. One person starts as the “giver” and the other is the “receiver.” Partners then switch roles until they reach the stage of mutual touching.

If you do the exercises in the morning, you can enjoy other sexual activity at other times! The key is to not mix exercises with your normal sexual activities.


At Life Coaching and Therapy (L-CAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth.

Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure skills training, we transform lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do.

Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Text Therapy – A New Therapy Method

Text Therapy – A New Solution to Repair Relationships

Text therapy works well for people who are very busy, have social anxiety, or need frequent and faster help.  Additionally, it can be for people who generally prefer text communication.

Text therapy is private, easily accessible, and provides a written record of your most intimate conversations so you have a history right at your fingertips.

Sometimes life gets incredibly difficult and your support system isn’t there when you need it the most. With text therapy, a therapist can be there when you need help more quickly than with traditional on-site appointments, which can be booked up for weeks in advance.

Text therapy is a viable solution that is becoming an increasingly popular method for delivering therapy treatment. Now there are several HIPAA-compliant texting applications available that keep conversations private and secure. Additionally, texting has become a common and accepted method of communication.  

Companies like Betterhelp or TalkSpace have made this alternative therapy method an expansive business as seen in the article: A growing wave of online therapy

Many people feel shame, rejection, or even fear about what others might think, and asking for help in person may add to their anxiety. Text therapy gives you the freedom to pick up your phone and ask for what you need.

On the other hand, there are cases where text therapy is not enough. Some clients need use their body language and vocal tone to effectively communicate with a therapist. They might not be willing to adjust to text therapy. People need in-person psychotherapy or in-person mental health care if they have severe mental health conditions that make them a danger to themselves or others. Text therapy can be an effective supplemental resource for these people, but it is not enough on its own.

text therapy

How Does Text Therapy Work?

It can be your key to change and transform your life by improving your relationships, communications, intimacy and sex life. I have utilized text therapy for years, and it has enabled me to transform my clients’ relationships and improve their confidence.

Here is an example of a text discussion I had recently with a couple – all private health information has been covered:

I have helped a variety of diverse clients work through their problems like affairs, infertility, and self-confidence building. We accomplished this through text therapy, and working as a team!  This form of therapy teaches patience, and gives you time to stop and think about your words, their impact on others, and what you really feel.

I highly recommend this method for those of you who are extra anxious and may suffer from social anxiety. Sometimes it’s easier when you aren’t face-to-face. Text therapy is also very helpful when you are away from home, such as on a vacation, or traveling for work.

Grab your phone and say yes to freedom from time constraints and awkward “how do you feel” questions!

Deep breadth! I know this is a lot to hear. I feel you! Especially with the stress of work, student loans, and intimacy issues, which often happen all at once.

Over the past 10 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have learned that all of us experience patterns of stress and feeling unfulfilled.

“Connection is one of our basic human needs, because it provides us with passion, vitality and wellness.” – Amanda Pasciucco

Let’s get one step closer to success and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives.

Does that sound like a relief? Does it make you as hopeful as it makes me?

We can get through this.

Text therapy techniques have transformed lives and helped my clients with issues such as: eating disorders, sexless marriages, trauma and depression.

There’s a simple method I follow daily with text therapy for clients that are in need of more frequent help. Sometimes texting sessions take five minutes and sometimes they may take an hour.

90-Day Couples Makeover Program

Text therapy practice, along with many other certified sex therapy skills and body exercises, are central to my 90-Day Couples Makeover.

When we finish the 90-Day Couples Makeover program, my clients feel hope and become more confident in their choices.  It is perfect for you if:

  • You are ready for a more balanced personal and professional life
  • Your relationship or other life issues need immediate attention
  • You and your partner are too busy to get to on-site therapy sessions

Are you curious? Would you like to try text therapy?

I personally guarantee your satisfaction with the program, or I will refund your fee.

I utilize a HIPAA-compliant text app so our conversations are private and secure.

This Summer is a Great Time to Work on Your Relationship – For Individuals or Couples!

You better hurry, there are only four spots left in my 90-Day Couples Makeover program for individuals and/or couples over summer.

Please complete our Make an Appointment form, and I am happy to do a free, quick consult call to explain the program and see if we fit together.

Sending you all my love and creative visions!

Live Passionately,


Amanda Pasciucco

LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Founder, Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT)


At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Certified Sex Therapist

A Certified Sex Therapist Can Solve Difficult Intimacy Problems

Have you ever heard of a certified sex therapist? This is a licensed mental health professional with clinical experience in individual and couples’ sexual issues and low desire. In the absence of available licensure for a sex therapist, certified sex therapists have steep requirements.

Certified sex therapists work with all sexual and identity concerns, even the most intimate fantasies. Rarely are other therapists capable of providing comprehensive and intensive psychotherapy over an extended period of time with these types of complex cases.

Becoming a certified sex therapist takes a significant time and education commitment! Some students assume they’ll be a sex therapist right after college. I thought the same thing when I was 19. However, certified sex therapists have to earn a minimum of a graduate degree, pass a mental health exam and acquire a department of public health license. Additionally, certification requires thousands of clinical hours. It took me eight years of course work, client engagements, and supervision to become a certified sex therapist. Each state has its own set of requirements about who can obtain a counseling or therapy license. A certified sex therapist must have this license before practicing in the sex therapy field. You’ll also need to pass a background check.

AASECT Professional Organization

The main organization for this field is The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). It is an interdisciplinary professional organization including marriage and family therapists, physicians, social workers, psychologists, and sociologists. AASECT’s vision for certified sex therapists is that they promote the understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior. You can also find a certified sex therapist in your area on the website at:

Understand Your Sex Therapist’s Credentials Before You Schedule an Appointment

Unfortunately, anyone can claim to be a sex coach, sex educator, or even a sex therapist with NO training. Many therapists do not have certified sex therapist supervisor training, or formal certification and education in sexuality or sexual health. These therapists believe the topic is interesting, and base their treatment on personal experiences rather than on education, training, and research. Be sure to ask your therapist for his/her specific training and education before you address sex-related issues.

What is Certified Sex Therapist Training?

AASECT provides the highest level of expertise. The training is rigorous and specialized in sexuality, sexual health and sexual dysfunctions. The following credentials and training are required in order to become a AASECT-certified sex therapist:

  • Licensed mental health condition specializing in psychotherapy
  • 300 clinical hours treating patients that present with sexual concerns as the primary problem
  • 50 hours of supervision/consultation with an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor
  • 90 education hours in Human Sexuality
  • 60 hours in Specialty Training in Sex Therapy
  • 10 hours in a Sexual Attitude Reassessment Seminar to examine one’s feelings, attitudes, and beliefs regarding sexuality and sexual behavior

    Certified Sex Therapist

    Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

There are less than 15 certified sex therapists in Connecticut. I’m Amanda Pasciucco, and I am one of them! I am an AASECT board certified sex therapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a clinical sexologist.

I have my masters from the University of Connecticut in Human Development and Family Studies. I’ve been an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist since 2015, and an AASECT Certified Continuing Education Provider since 2018. Also, I am the founder of Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) located in West Hartford, CT.

Focusing on low-desire, pleasure-enhancement, and sexual skill-building techniques has been part of my practice for years. Some of the certified sex therapist interventions that we utilize at LCAT include:

LCAT Satisfied Clients

Here are what some of my clients have said:


“After an upsetting breakup back in 2015. I was having a lot of emotions and decided I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t my family or a close friend.

At the time, I found Amanda on a website with a list of local therapists. It took one visit for me to realize that Amanda was a godsend. It was a turning point in my life.

Over the next few years, I experienced a lot of “aha” moments and Amanda guided me through them all.

I’ve gained so many valuable lessons  related to: self-esteem, the ability to receive, confidence, letting emotions out, intimacy, communication, languages of love, knowing your value and much more. My relationships with myself, my family, and romantic partners have all benefited. These lessons don’t come naturally in everyone’s life and there is no shame in seeking out assistance.

Amanda’s technique was exactly what I needed. She is compassionate and helps you explore your situation and feelings, but she will be honest with you and challenge you in ways that will help you grow if you are open to it. I am currently in a healthy relationship, and I am practicing everything I’ve learned.  I still like to check in with Amanda periodically, because life likes to keep you on your toes and you never stop growing! P.S. I love supporting a strong, female entrepreneur like Amanda.

I’m always impressed with the ways she and her team continue to innovate on ways they can reach and help others.”

Gary B.

“If you are just starting out in a relationship and want to build a solid foundation of love, or you want to rekindle the flames of love that seem to be smoldering – you need Amanda Pasciucco.

Amanda has the skills knowledge and a passion for her work. She can bring you to high level of communication through gazing exercises. You’ll get a feeling of what it’s like to look into your lovers’ heart and soul. Through breathing exercises, Amanda can teach how you can accomplish the feeling of oneness in your relationship. If you’re struggling with communication, problems with intimacy, or whatever it is, there is no one better or as skilled as Amanda.

A few sessions with Amanda and you will feel blessed for the opportunity to work with her. Amanda can also help you with dating sites. She helped me find the love of my life, who I now call my wife. If you want the best call Amanda Pasciucco – The Sex Healer!”

Brittany M.

“Amanda has literally saved my marriage. Before working with Amanda, I was scared that our relationship was going to fail. I now KNOW that we not only are going to make it, but we ENJOY our relationship. I don’t even want to think about where my husband and I would be without her.” #besttherapistever

One of the most important lessons that I can teach you is how to receive pleasure without shame! I can use any of the therapy models in traditional on-site sessions, or you can try my new, accelerated text therapy program for individuals or couples.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Sexual Anatomy

Sexual Anatomy: The Basics

Sexual Anatomy – The Basics

Sexual anatomy is not something to be ashamed of! It is one of the gifts of a monogamous relationship and of consensual adult sex!

For you to get the most out of your sexual experiences, we must first understand our body. If you have never spread your legs and looked at your genitals in a mirror, that is step one.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just one part of your body. You must know your sexual anatomy, and then you get to share it with your consenting adult partners!

Also, sex in porn is not real. It is entertainment and a movie. Question the media you are consuming if you believe your relationship and sex life is not to par with those around you.

Let’s start with female sexual anatomy, or the anatomy of those assigned female at birth.

Women’s Bodies or Those Assigned Female at Birth

The Vulva

The vulva is the main visible component of female sexual anatomy. It is commonly referred to as the vagina, and the vagina is specifically just the hole that the babies come out of, the menstruation comes out of, and one of the places of pleasure.

The vulva is the external part of the female genitals. The mons veneris (meaning “hill of Venus,” the Roman goddess of love) is the top part of the vulva where pubic hair grows. There is often a layer of fatty tissue on this pubic bone to protects from the impact of penetrative sexual intercourse.


Sexual Anatomy



The outer lips (labia minora) go around to protect the inside.


Pulling these outer lips open, you will expose the inner labia (labia minora), which do not have any hair on them.


All women’s lips have different colors, sizes, and shapes. The inner lips are there to protect the clitoris, urethra, and the vagina.


Usually the lips (both inner and outer) are sensitive to touch.


The Clitoris


The clitoris is the only organ in the body whose sole function is for pleasure. It looks like a small button right at the top of the outer lips. There is a piece of skin, just inside the inner labia, known as the clitoral hood. This protects the clitoris from getting too much direct stimulation. The clitoris is the most excitable part of the female genitalia, because this is where most pleasurable sensation comes from. There are more nerve endings in the clitoris than in the head of a man’s penis, which makes it extremely sensitive to touch and stimulation. The clitoris goes deep inside the body as well (the internal clitoris).

Sexual Anatomy

The Urethra


The urethra is a tiny hole about an inch to two inches below the clitoris. This is where women urinate from and where female ejaculate comes from.


The Vagina


Under the urethra is a bigger hole, which is the vagina. This is where women are penetrated during digital (fingers) or penetrative (penis) intercourse. It is where blood comes from during a menstrual period, and it is part of the birth canal.

The vagina has most of its nerve endings in the first third of the opening. If the entire vagina had numerous nerve endings, it would be extremely painful to give birth through the vaginal canal.


The lack of nerve endings in the vagina is what accounts for the difficulty many women have in achieving orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

Vaginal orgasms stem from stimulation of the internal clitoris. Most women also need direct stimulation of the external clitoris. Therefore, women should not feel bad or inadequate if vaginal penetration alone is not enough. Women should be able to explain exactly what they need to their partners if they cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.


Bartholin’s Glands


Bartholin’s glands are the first step in lubrication. It is similar to pre-come (male ejaculate) for women. These two small glands are near the bottom of the vulva with openings on either side of the vagina. They are located underneath the skin, and they provide a small amount of lubricant.


The G-spot


It is more of an area than a spot. Some indicate that you can locate the G-spot by inserting your fingers into your vagina and make the “come here” motion.

When a woman is aroused, this area can get harder, and the texture can change. Some believe that the G-spot is the location of the internal bulbs of the clitoris, which are located behind the left and right walls of the vagina. Therefore, the G-spot is mostly an area… an area about two inches in on the top part of the vagina, facing the internal clitoris region.

Stimulating this at the same time as the external clitoris can create tons of pleasure for women.

The G-spot is one of the most famous areas of female sexual anatomy!


Sexual Anatomy

The Hymen


A piece of tissue that lines the vaginal opening. It is the “cherry” that is referred to in the common “popped her cherry” slang expression. The hymen is no barometer on whether or not a woman is a virgin. This tissue can be stretched with a finger, tampon, or anything inserted into the vagina. Sometimes the hymen wears away naturally, and sometimes it remains so thick that it makes first penetration extremely painful. If intercourse continues to be painful after penetrated, there is a chance that this barrier has not been broken, and a women can see a gynecologist, who can help with this.


The Perineum


The piece of skin from the bottom of the vulva to the anus is called the perineum. There are not many nerve endings here for women, and sometimes doctors cut through this skin to open the canal for vaginal births.


The Anus


The anus has numerous sensitive nerve endings. Many people practice anal sex, and it is important to note that the anus also has the capacity to be penetrated as the vagina does. The only difference is that the anus does not self-lubricate, as does the vagina.

Therefore, when engaging in anal sex, make sure to use a lot of lubricant.


Male Sexual Anatomy or the Anatomy of Those Misgendered Male at birth.


The Penis


In the United States, there is a tendency to put a good deal of emphasis on penis size. In popular media the question is often “How big is he?” which implies the underlying notion that being bigger is better.


Bigger is not always better when we talk about sexual anatomy.


It is is your relationship with the penis that matters.


If you or your partner’s penis gives you pleasure, it is perfect regardless of size.




It is currently debated in this country whether a man should have a circumcised penis or not. The popular narrative seems to elevate circumcised penises as better or more desirable.


Many women indicate that non-circumcised penises have led to more pleasure for them and their partners, because non-circumcised penises are more lubricating than circumcised ones.


Some women prefer the look of a circumcised penis, while others do not notice much of a difference. There is nothing to be concerned about if you encounter a non-circumcised penis. It just has some extra skin called the foreskin, which covers the head of the penis while flaccid, and retracts back when the penis is erect. But being a circumcised penis or not is just an aesthetic detail in the sexual anatomy.




If a women is in a sexual encounter with a male partner and he is not hard, that is totally normal. Pornography depicts men as always ready to go.

They see a naked woman and are hard almost immediately. Life is not like that.

If you see that your partner’s penis is soft, but he is in the moment with you and giving other signs that he is into the sexual act and enjoying himself, I encourage you to let go of the notion that it should be hard immediately and continue to enjoy each other sexually.

A soft penis is not an automatic indication that your partner is not into the sexual experience.

Soft penises are an indication that blood has not yet entered the penis.

Desire begins in the mind.

Getting upset about a physiological response that those with penises may not have mental control over ruins the moment more than a soft penis does.

Do not put pressure on yourself unless it becomes a constant problem that you can never get an erection while with a partner.

If this is the case, it may be time to discuss what is happening and consult a physician, urologist, and a sex therapist.


Difference Between Orgasming and Ejaculating


Most people think that it is easy to tell when men have orgasmed, because they ejaculated. Although most men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, this is not always the case. There is a difference between orgasming and ejaculation. Ejaculation is the fluid that is dispelled from the body.

Orgasm can be the emotional, mental, and physical part of this process. People can achieve full-body orgasms using breath-work and relaxation of the mind and body. Sometimes an ejaculatory and full-body orgasm can occur together, and other times, the male body can orgasm without the penis ejaculating at all.




It is important to understand your anatomy and your partner’s body. Feel free to talk with your friends and sexual partner about your body. Instead of shaming the body, as many are taught to do while growing up, praise it as well as the body of your sexual partner. If you feel attracted to your partner, make sure to say which exact body parts you value. Doing this will also set up the framework for you to appreciate your own body.


At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!


Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Sex Connecticut

What is Sexology?

What Is Sexology and What Is It For?

Sexology is the science that studies sex, that simple! To be more specific, it is the science that studies the sexuality of the human being, sexual behavior and its different manifestations. All of these from the psychological and physiological point of view.


A sexologist is a professional who performs various tasks: sexual education, guidance, couples’ counseling and intervention, and research.


The professional will treat the patient from the psychological and therapeutic point of view since there is a diversity of problems which can be extended to both fields. Including everything that has to do with the relationship between men and women, not only about sexual perfomance; but what happens to their lives too.


Communication’s problems, affective needs, maternity-paternity issues, and mediation in separation and divorces are also issues that a sexologist can deal with.


Since we have a sex negative and pleasure negative culture, the field of clinical sexology is imperative. – Amanda Pasciucco


Sexology also serves as a post-traumatic tool in situations where the sexual integrity of a person has been violated. When sexual abuse occurs, the victim is so affected that psychological therapy is necessary to overcome the trauma. Also, sexual therapy helps to regain his/her sexual life.



The governing body for sex therapist is American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) mentions as its vision of sexual health to be one where, all individuals are entitled to enjoy:

  • Respect of their sexual thoughts, feelings and fantasies
  • The right to engage in healthy modes of sexual activity,
  • Freedom to exercise behavioral, emotional, economic, and social responsibility for their bodily functioning
  • The power to chose their mode of loving, working, and playing


AASECT believes that these rights pertain to all peoples whatever their age, family structure, backgrounds, beliefs, and circumstances”


How do I know if I should go to the sexologist or another professional?


It is common for a person who encounters a difficulty in their sexual life to ask which specialist should go. To the gynecologist, the urologist, the general practitioner, the endocrinologist, the psychologist, the sexologist …? The answer varies depending on the specific problem, and whether it has a physical cause or not.

sexologistJust as the sexologist can refer you to another professional, other professional can refer you to the sexologist. This happens when they find that a certain sexual problem exceeds their field of work.




Sometimes we have problems in our sexual life and, instead of going to a specialist consultation to help us overcome this problem, we let it go by playing down the importance. However, in the same way that when you hurt your teeth you go to the dentist, if there is any dysfunction in your sex life you should go to the specialist: the sexologist.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire when it comes to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Latin sex therapist

Couples Sex Counseling

Couples Sex Counseling

Couples sex counseling is a powerful type of therapy that can enable couples to work through issues and transform their relationships. Most of us have not had much training or education in relationships and sex, yet these areas are critical to maintaining happy and fulfilling lives. This is why counseling can be a very valuable tool.

Couples Counseling

Why Try Couples Sex Counseling?


Have you ever considered going to couples sex counseling? Couples sex counseling benefits those who want to improve the quality of their sex life, regain intimacy and ignite passion in their lives. Counseling can address many other issues that impact a relationship, for example:

  • Low sexual self-esteem
  • Traumas
  • Relationship difficulties
  • Anxiety
  • Emotional distance
  • Jealousy
  • Infidelity
  • Lack of trust
  • Family conflicts


If you or your partner are interested in going to a professional, you need to trust your therapist. He or she is not there to benefit one client and blame the other.


Couples Sex Counseling Method


At Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT), we utilize the PLISSIT model.This is a system used in the field of clinical sexology to determine the different levels of intervention for clients. The PLISSIT model offers a succinct method for introducing sex into a clinical conversation, narrowing the scope of a patient’s concern and offering effective counseling and treatment. Its name is derived from the four levels of the model: permission, limited information, specific suggestions, and intensive therapy. (source:


Our clients go home and try different techniques to work on their sexual issue. The issues we work on with our clients can include: erectile dysfunction, pelvic pain, low desire, no desire, or desire discrepancy.


Asking for Help is Not Failing!


If you believe that going to couples sex counseling is a sign of failure, think again!  Sex involves intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual perspectives, which can make it very complex. Physical, psychological, and emotional issues all directly affect our sexuality.


Being comfortable enough to ask your partner specific questions about what he or she needs and likes is essential to having amazing sex! For instance, ask your partner “Do you like this level of pressure?”


Sex can be complicated. Sex can be wonderful. However you may experience new problems due to unresolved sex issues.


What Can Couples Sex Counseling do for You?


Change the perspective of the relationship


The therapist encourages both partners to see their relationship in a more objective way, including from each other’s perspective.


Improve communication


Many couples have difficulties, and many are not able to reach practical solutions. Only by discussing their problems can couples start to fix them. Our therapy process and Amanda’s 90-Day Couples Makeover promote a constructive, respectful dialogue where couples can openly express their emotions and ideas. We enable clients to communicate more effectively and listen more attentively.


Build on the strengths of the relationship


It is better for couples to focus on the positives in their relationship. For this purpose, the therapist can act as a mediator to help rediscover common interests and help the couple create the relationship for a better future. One technique couples sex counselors use is to encourage intimacy through erotic writing, cuddling, date nights, sexual acts and gift giving.


At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!


Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

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Embracing Masochism

To those afraid of admitting to masochist tendencies:


For the longest time I denied that I was a masochist.  “There must me something wrong with me.  What kind of person enjoys pain?”  Ummm……me.  I do!  I enjoy a certain amount of consensual pain.  I am a masochist.  It’s been a long journey to get to the point where I can “own” that statement and I’ve learned a few things about myself along the way.


The first step on the journey to claiming my masochism was to define it…… for me.  (Your mileage may vary).  I questioned at what point does having pain consensually inflicted upon me go from pleasure from a simple rush of endorphins to an unhealthy mental state?


To start with, I differentiated the terms “hurt” and “harm”.  Hurt= good.   Harm=bad


Hurt, pain, or discomfort is a physical sensation.  It goes away either immediately, in a while, in a day, or in a few days.  Sometimes, it leaves a mark, and sometimes it doesn’t.  Either way, no medical assistance is required for the body to go back to its natural state.


Harm, the way I chose to define it, means that medical intervention is required to heal it, or there is permanent, and/or long-lasting damage.  I don’t want to be harmed, but I do want to be hurt.


I can think of a lot of loopholes in my definition of harm, such as my branding. It was consensual, it caused permanent damage, which was the intent, but it did not require medical attention to heal.  Hurt? Harm?  I’m okay with it.


Sometimes, the hurt leads to unintentional harm.  Yet another loophole.  I enjoyed the pain from a particular hip harness one day, but it led to nerve damage that took two years to heal and a small tear in my hip labrum.  I accepted the risk that “harm” may come as a result of the “hurt”.  In my brain, I wasn’t asking for harm, I was asking for hurt, so my definition still made sense as I viewed it.  I know hurt vs harm is not a perfect definition, but it feels right for me.


In order to be comfortable with the label “masochist”, I wanted to understand “why” I liked pain.  This was a lot easier to wrap my brain around.  Quite simply, I like the endorphin rush that gets triggered from pain.  I learned that I really only like pain when it is in conjunction with or leading up to orgasms — piling endorphins on top of more endorphins for a super good rush that gets me to a happy place.


The last thing on my journey was learning how to communicate.  Not all pain is good pain and my tolerance to pain varies from day to day.  I like pain to start off slow and easy and then build.  This was easy to communicate.


At some point pain stops being pleasurable for me and just becomes pure pain. Communicating this type of information was way more difficult.  I learned three things about myself:


1) If my pain was really pleasing my top/partner/Dominant and it was making him happy, then not only can I tolerate more pain but I WANT more pain

2) Breathing and relaxing around the pain allowed me to tolerate a greater intensity of pain.

3) I needed to communicate in advance of play, by either arranging a code word or a signal that let my partner know before the pain went from good to bad.


The final and unexpected benefit of owning by masochism was learning the technique of breathing and relaxing around the pain and discomfort.  This skill has helped me way beyond what I ever imagined.  I now find myself using this technique frequently; for headaches, for when I walk into the sharp corner of the table, for when I smash my knee against the desk, stub my toe and a whole host of other unintended, non-consensual, self-inflicted pain that is just a general result of me being clumsy.  So, to my fellow “masochists in denial”, I say figure out what’s in it for you and then go embrace your masochism!

~ Shana Silver

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Is The G-Spot Real Or A Myth?



Debunking the G-Spot! I know this catchy term has been thrown here and there, but what have you thought of it as? Have you ever asked, “Is the G Spot real”? The female G Spot is a mystery that’s for sure!


The questions about it have been how to find the G Spot, where is the G Spot, and even… does the G Spot exist? We’ve seen the term thrown here and there as the magical place, the vagina g spot, to hit for a g spot orgasm! You’ve probably failed and asked yourself, is there a G Spot? Is the G Spot a myth? Have you ever asked yourself how I can find my G-Spot? You’ll find the answer to that question here from your very own sex therapist —  I will reveal the truth about the famous vagina G Spot!  Let me tell you how to get a G Spot orgasm with today’s sex education!


If you’re like most people, you probably thought it was one specific anatomical spot that could induce an orgasm in the vagina…. Well here’s the truth. As long as the front wall of the vagina is hit– you’ve hit the so-called G-Spot. It’s more an area than a spot. To learn more about what produces or makes up the G-Spot, head over to this video!


Communicating About Difficult Matters

Communicating About Difficult Matters


I know I talk a lot about communication and how important it is to the health of relationships. WELL, I’ll never stop! It’s SO important to keep honing your communication skills in all types of settings, especially difficult ones.


Something that’s been on my mind lately is how to break news to a partner. It might not necessarily be bad news, but news that you think may change their perception of you in any way. For example, if you have an illness, disability, or other difficult matters that are extremely personal. I know how intimidating it can be to communicating someone these things. Here’s what I suggest:


 1.) Decide on how much you’re willing to share before.


2.) Know that you HAVE TO tell the story directly – no rambling, no beating around the bush. 👌


3.) Practice several times. Keep in mind the context of your news to handle your style and tone appropriately. If you’re breaking it to them about a disability, maybe you can start with, “I really enjoy the relationship I’ve had with you so far, and I feel really comfortable with you. I really care for you, and that’s why I think I should finally share something about myself to you. It’s really personal and I’ve been worried about your reaction to it, but you should really know.”


4.) Ask if you can clarify anything to help them better understand your situation.


I hope these tips can help you in the future. REMEMBER that if you KNOW that your partner loves you, there’s NO DOUBT that they’ll take in every single bit of you, whether it be your flaws or strengths, and love 👏 it 👏 all👏.


Communication is the KEY!


At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire when it comes to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.