Intimacy Coaching & Best Techniques To be Intimate with Your Partner

August 16, 2021/in Couples, Creating Desire, Intimacy/by Amanda Pasciucco

Intimacy Coaching & Best Techniques To be Intimate with Your Partner

If you’re striving to feel free and more connected with your partner, you should consider intimacy coaching. Although we all know that intimacy is key in every relationship. Understanding what intimacy actually is and how to achieve it is not as easy as it seems. The reason for that is our past experiences where we’ve gotten hurt emotionally and/or physically. This led to fear of being intimate with another person and is a consequential issue for the majority of couples.

What does an intimacy coach do?

An intimacy coach is a person who will eliminate this intimacy blockage for you and help you feel safer and more connected to your lover or partner. By developing a sense of safety in their clients, intimacy coaches are replacing those unpleasant experiences by creating new. Positive ones.

Being guided by an expert, a person will develop a greater sense of closeness, become more aware of their own emotions. As well as of other people’s emotions. All of this leads

to healing attachment wounds which are not allowing people to connect on a deeper level with each other.

Understanding your fear of intimacy

You don’t have to be aware of your intimacy triggers before going into the session with your intimacy coach, yet realizing what is causing your fear is the first step to healing. As we are born with the need to connect and share with others. Something must happen in order to disconnect ourselves from that need. In reality, that need to connect and share never disappears, we just disconnect from it because something or someone hurt us before.

Because of the fear of intimacy, you will feel afraid when thinking of starting a new relationship or expressing your feelings during a discussion with your best friend, for instance.

However, where there is fear, there is an opportunity for healing. More importantly, you don’t have to go down that road alone. An intimacy coach will turn it into an explorative experience rather than painful, ensuring you feel safe and nurtured during the process.

Intimacy Risk Factors

Our first intimate interaction is with our family. Often, these families are not healthy and safe environments for children to learn about intimacy. Some of the most common examples are:

Blurred boundaries and roles in the family: Everything might seem perfect at first glance, yet some family members won’t fulfil their role responsibility.
Emotional and/or physical neglect: Parents who are not there for their children – emotionally or physically – are teaching them they can’t rely on others.
Parent loss: A feeling of abandonment will appear where a parent has been lost through death, divorce or any other event.
Parent illness: Having an ill parent can lead to intimacy issues as the child takes on the role of the parent and cares for others in the family, sometimes including the ill parent as well.

Unfortunately, there are many more risk factors such as verbal, physical or sexual abuse, parent substance use or any other type of addiction, yet regardless of the cause, each person can learn how to be intimate with their significant other.

How to cope with intimacy issues?

There are several crucial steps on the path of restoring intimacy with intimacy coaching. It’s worth saying that intimacy issues can only be solved once the person starts connecting again with their intimacy. Once you understand what caused you pain and disconnection from others, you will be able to change your patterns and feel safer during interactions.

To feel connected with others, here are the techniques that will create positive sensations and experiences and finally heal the intimacy issue a person has:

Embrace the uncertainty

What if someone tells you that the most beautiful aspect of life is that you actually can’t plan or predict anything? The walls you have built in your childhood have been protecting you as a child, yet they don’t serve you anymore. You have created the illusion that you are safer when you are not engaging with others when in reality. That illusion is taking something incredibly valuable from you. With an intimacy coach, you will practice courage, and it will become easier to invest in new relationships without feeling like you are risking your wellbeing.

Accept yourself first

Under the fear of intimacy lies the fear of not being worthy of a connection with someone. If you’re afraid to express your feelings to your partner, you are probably not allowing yourself fully to feel them. It’s not easy to become comfortable with all your emotions. Yet it will be harder if you expect from others something you are not able to give yourself first.

Congratulate yourself when you make that step towards others instead of focusing on the outcome. For instance, inviting someone to go for a walk will be less terrifying once you celebrate the achievement of solely inviting someone instead of waiting for their response. After all, once your focus changes, you will no longer care that much about the outcome.

Write a letter to yourself from the past

You have probably heard this technique quite a few times, yet have you ever tried it? It’s incredibly powerful to take a walk into your past and talk to yourself as if you were two friends sitting on the school bench sharing secrets. What would you say to that little kid? Maybe it will be to speak up more when the opportunity presents. To accept every birthday party invitation although there’s not enough money in the house to buy a present or to write all those fiction stories down and practice its creativity?

Determine what you want

In reality, it’s not so much what you want, it’s what you DON’T want. Maybe the feeling of anxiety comes because all your friends are married and you can’t find the person you wish to share your life with? Before blaming it all on yourself, ask yourself if this is something you want. Sometimes, we will try to be what we think we should be instead of doing things that truly make us happy. Keep in mind that the only person that always deserves your unconditional intimacy is you.

Practice patience

This is maybe the hardest technique of them all, yet it’s also the most important one. If you don’t practice patience, it will be difficult to progress. Putting too many expectations on yourself when you’re coping with something so vulnerable as your intimacy can only make things worse for you. Be patient. It will take some time and that’s perfectly fine. You have spent various years in unhealthy environments which led to fear of intimacy. So expecting this fear to disappear quickly is simply not rational.

Quick intimacy tips for couples

Let’s be clear, fear of intimacy can only be cured if someone like an intimacy coach has helped you understand what caused your fear and provide you with the tools to connect with others and feel good during it. However, there are several things that you can start practicing with your partner daily if you’re both looking to resolve your intimacy issues:

Hold hands more often.
Be more emotionally aware and vulnerable during sex.
Initiate sex differently.
Plan out your time together.
Every month, try out an activity that’s new for both of you.
Talk about your relationship – share ideas, dreams, fears, etc.
Focus more on seduction instead of sex.

A step to intimacy…

Don’t stop just by reading this article. You are worth every connection you wish to make in your life. You have every right to share your feelings with someone who will appreciate it and feel honoured you trust them so much. The more you start practicing being open to new people and experiences. This fear will slowly disappear and you will start enjoying connecting and sharing with those important to you.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What is The Male Version of Mistress?

July 5, 2021/in Creating Desire, Men, Sex Therapist/by Amanda Pasciucco

What is The Male Version of Mistress?

The male version of mistress is called a Master or known as a Dominant.

A Pro Dom or Master may be rare to find, yet they exist.

Sometimes, if you are looking to pay for this male version of a mistress, it is illegal.

However, you can and will find a male version of a mistress if you look long enough on the internet.

There are apps and websites for kinksters that are looking due to the true desire of it all.

For those who want some level of discretion, consider fetlife.com and make an unidentifiable profile.

Build a profile, and change your age and location. Be sure to include your gender and define what you are looking for. Only message profiles that resonate with you.

Be mindful that kink and power dynamics do not have to be sexual. Yet they are a relationship form that is powerful and needs to be negotiated.

The male version is a mistress – a mister – could be sensual, sexual, or psychological. Some individuals find pleasure in a particular clothing material, while other people (or parts of people) find giving control or decision-making to another individual liberating.

Another reason that individuals seek out male versions of a mistress are because individuals love the certainty and trust that comes from giving another “control” for a period of time when they feel overwhelmed.

Whereas others enjoy roleplaying as a way of expressing a part of themselves that they cannot be vulnerable with others.

None of these reasons are particularly sexual, as there is not any form of genital contact, touch, or orgasm. However, “kink dynamics” where you seek out a mistress or master help us play with our senses, emotions, the neurobiology in our body, and thus our headspace.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

A Tribute to BAD & the Betty Dodson Method – Empowerment in New York City 2021

July 2, 2021/in Creating Desire, Improving Orgasm, Sex Therapist, The Sex Healer/by Amanda Pasciucco

A Tribute to BAD & the Betty Dodson Method

Empowerment in New York City 2021

If you haven’t heard about the Betty Dodson method, or don’t know who she is, you are in for a treat!

I just experienced a weekend of empowerment, pleasure, sexual sovereignty, and remembrance in honor of the Baddest Lady around…Betty A. Dodson (yes – her initials are BAD and she loved it!).

For decades Betty Dodson, the mother of the internal clitoris, put masturbation with vibrators on the map for women.

She helped women release the shackles put on them by society and free themselves from sexual shame.

Betty A. Dodson

Betty started running BodySex workshops in the 1970s out of her home until her last workshop in December 2019. I am blessed to have taken BodySex in November 2019. On October 21, 2020, the notorious B.A.D. passed away at 91 years old.

Her legacy includes hundreds of BodySex events that included women attendees from all over the world., creating a ripple of change.

Her findings have helped thousands upon thousands of women find their sexual freedom and own their orgasm.

The power of pleasure and pussy is something you can feel just by looking at the Candy Store sign outside of Betty’s place.

Memorial to Dodson in NYC 2021

The exhibit was a beautiful celebration and memorial to Dodson.

The women who attended this beautiful celebration included:

PhDs in sexology
Bodywork practitioners
Sexuality educators
University professors

As a group, some of us have been engaging in virtual erotic recess to get through the pandemic.

Carlin Ross & Amanda Pasciucco

Early 2021, when the world appeared to be opening and there was hope of a vaccination, Carlin Ross (Betty’s successor) and the BodySex women began to visualize a weekend where we could all be together again.

We wanted to honor, celebrate, grieve, and cherish Betty together. Being around a group of professional women honoring BAD is something that I will remember for a lifetime.

The privilege of being around a group of over 20 women who value pleasure and sexual empowerment to honor Betty Dodson is something that not all women are able to do.

We all met at the Museum of Sex in New York City to celebrate Betty Dodson. I realize the honor I have to live and breathe the mission of pleasure – especially for those who identify as women.

The exhibit was stunning, and Carlin was able to take us through each segment to explain different aspects of Betty’s life.

Betty Dodson was a phenomenal artist. I am grateful for her images, as I use them often in session and explaining the anatomy of sexuality to others.

Some of the paintings in the exhibit are so detailed and beautiful, you can see the shadow of the muscle and even the fingers detailed perfectly.

Dodson was known for her big personality and yet, her paintings are exquisite.

Particularly of interest were themes including:

Betty’s love of herself and her dedication to her own self-pleasure
The struggle of a sexless marriage in monogamy
The conflict with her art being seen as “too much”
The complexity of the woman being a mother and a lover

Being around women who are empowered in their pleasure is a gift that keeps on giving. Women who can replenish themselves and then give in a healthy way to others is not only nourishing, it is healing.

When celebrating someone who was such an influence on the field of sexuality, it is amazing to see how hours fade into minutes.

Imagine… women of all ages, shapes, body sizes, heights and colors that join together to experience what Betty has taught. Betty’s legacy, of course, will live on forever.

What I loved hearing about especially was the way in which Betty Dodson did her own thing. She didn’t need an organization to tell her she was on the right track.

She knew what she was doing, and although she was nervous at times, she kept doing what she wanted to do. Her mission and legacy live on because of this.

Erotic Recess Using the Betty Dodson Method

Some brave souls decided to meet for erotic recess in Manhattan Saturday afternoon following the tour at the Museum of Sex.

We live in a culture that glamorizes thinness, whiteness, and overworking. Many people have anxiety around orgasms and how their body looks.

BodySex creates a container of safety with an all-women group to shed decades of shame and hatred and replace it with knowledge around consent, joy, body empowerment, and pleasure.

Within the sacred BodySex circle of erotic recess, women laugh, talk, cry, come, and more – all without wearing clothes. By spending time with other women, especially other women, Betty Dodson method fans, you see the beauty of the different nude female bodies. It was one of those moments of baring your soul before you undress and experience group self pleasuring.

Betty Dodson would say things like “fucking is foreplay” because she believed that partnered sex could be fun and enjoyable, yet valued the art of masturbation to climax as a favored sexual act.

What I love most about the concept of fucking as foreplay is that it shows the difference and importance of owning your orgasm.

“Sexual energy is not only the life force that creates the next generation, but it is also the source of our creativity. Each orgasm can be a precious moment of joy, a prayer of thanks for being alive. As we awaken our bodies through the senses, we awaken our minds to the knowledge that we are all related and connected to every living thing on the planet and throughout the vast universe.” – Betty Dodson

Taking the skills you learn in self-pleasuring with the Betty Dodson method, I believe this prepares us for better more fulfilling long-term or short-term partnered sex experiences. If you own your orgasm and can have them alone, then you can have partnered sex for discovery and fun (instead of focusing on an orgasm).

This isn’t to say you cannot orgasm with a partner or partners.

“Run The Fuck”

Betty Dodson would actually say you have to “run the fuck.”

What this concept means in general is that in partnered sex. Something else other than the body response of orgasm can be the focus of the interaction.

What do you want the focus to be? Well, that is different for ALL individuals.

Talk to your partner(s) and ask them what they most want to feel before going into a partnered sex scene.

The takeaway point is that pleasure – self or partnered – is important to living a fulfilled, satisfying life.

Many people take pleasure for granted – it is our right to experience pleasure.

BodySex Magic During Erotic Recess

We all put towels down, get lube out, vibrators, and anything else that would be needed for solo sex and pleasure.

BodySex leaders, women from all over the world trained in Betty’s method, went around the circle taking the turn leading the rituals that happen before the “erotic recess” part of the BodySex weekend takes place.

Grounding in the breath of fire, we use our oxygen to have access to our sense of groundedness within the body.

Sitting in a circle, we can reveal who we are rather than conceal. It is a place where bodies, sensuality, and expression are safe. If you have followed the work of the late Gina Ogden, women require feeling safe as a prerequisite to attaining pleasure.

Two hours of bliss and nudity with other women in the sexual field. Women who are revolutionizing and changing the world by helping other women unleash the goddess within.

Listening in the circle, there is a difference in how women breathe, orgasm, and position their bodies for self pleasure!

Betty Dodson’s method of self-pleasure within erotic recess helps women have an experience that undoes YEARS of sexual shame and the cultural fear that women’s bodies are “not enough.”

Within erotic recess, women gather as one community – as a sisterhood.

If you would like more information on how to get the Betty Dodson method, contact Carlin Ross here!

Talking About Sexuality With Dr. Juliana

Revealed on Sunday was an interesting new view of sexual sovereignty.

Not everyone is like Betty Dodson, so Dr. Juliana created a program where women can share their sexual stories – while clothed – in a community of women.

Sexual sovereignty, also known as “agency,” is about owning who you are, making decisions, being confident in those decisions. Some of the women in the circle that day actually are trained to lead both BodySex circles and Revealed workshops.

One woman even expressed that Betty Dodson showed her agency, while another woman reported that Dr. Juliana herself was the one who helped her attain her own sense of agency.

What is agency?

Being able to say no when you mean no, and saying yes when you mean yes are two examples of ways to have sovereignty in your life.

Similarly, seeing yourself as a person who is capable of making empowered choices is paramount to having a sexual conversation. The point of revealing is to take your sexual journey and own it as a part of who you are.

Instead of just being the busy mom, the employee, or the soccer coach, this is about seeing your empowered sexual self and reclaiming the moments of sexuality within your life.

Moving away from shame and indulging by sharing your erotic stories is healing. It brings them out of the dark and into the light as something to own. If you want more information, contact Dr. Juliana or visit here.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Orgasm – Vulva Edition

March 1, 2021/in Creating Desire, Improving Orgasm/by Amanda Pasciucco

How to Orgasm – Vulva Edition

One of the most commonly asked questions by women coming to our practice is “how to orgasm?”

Is there really just one answer to the question of how to orgasm though? I think not!

If you ask women internationally from ages 18 and up, you might be surprised at what responses you get.

Vulva owners each have different things that make us tick and different sensations within sex that are orgasmic.

A few vulva owners report enjoying penetration and fullness feeling of the vagina, while others want to focus on the magic of the clitoral gland.

How to orgasm when you have a vulva can change over time – making it even more fun to discover new techniques along the way. Especially for those of you with one long term partner, it is often exciting to discover your partner’s “new thing” when it happens for them.

Learning Curves:

Finding what you like is key on how to orgasm, along with not getting discouraged during experimentation.

Consistency is key for most women. Continuing the motion which feels the best is what can bring the orgasm pulsating through you.
Do not go harder, or faster, or softer unless the vulva owner asks for it.
- Just maintain the same motion and if you are using an external clitoral vibrator, consider upping or lowering the intensity based on your needs.
- There is a moment when you feel an orgasm approaching. Sticking with it makes the feeling grow into a full-body climax.

How to Orgasm Each Time

People with penises may not mind if you go harder, faster, or change it up at the end of the stimulation, as the orgasm and ejaculation will still be there.

For vulva owners though, sometimes we want the same motion to the point of climax and orgasm.

There is nothing wrong with liking the same way of orgasming!

Techniques to Avoid When You Are Learning How To Orgasm:

Avoid asking the question: “Are you close?” This can deter the orgasm from even happening.
The mind quickly shifts to other questions, like am I taking too long?
Am I boring them? Which in the long run is known as an orgasm killer.

Try These:

Moving targets – it is not easy keeping the same movement or position when hips are squirming and bodies are moving. Yet try to stay consistent, because if it is do-able, it is rewarding.
Pattern pleasure – tap your feet to the beat of your favorite song. That is the rhythm, and your repeated moves in the bedroom – whether it is rubbing, tapping, or penetrating with a finger, tongue, phallus, or toy – can have the same beat.
By experimenting with rhythm and zeroing in on what feels best, you can take your orgasm to the next level.

How To Orgasm with Rhythm:

Skipping- take a break in between each motion and cause a sweet frustration.
- It’s like only half scratching an itch, which creates a desire that’s not 100% satisfied
- This can lead to a slower build up and longer more satisfying orgasm.
Raindrop touch is an irregular pattern with different amounts of time in between each motion.
- Creates a randomness that is exciting because the clit does not know what is next.
Back-to-back movement is when you repeat your motion right after finishing the last one with no pauses in between. With this rhythm, there is not time for pleasure to die down between each motion.
Constant butterfly pulsating is where the rhythm is so fast it is almost a blur.
- You move so quickly that the touch becomes a flutter.
- After all, this is why vibrators are so popular. With penetration, pulsating is an extremely popular stroke because it allows a tiny amount of movement to constantly stimulate the clit.

Ways to explore:

Experimentation: It’s fun to take what motions you already know feel great and try adjusting the rhythm in a different way to see if your orgasm is even better.
Slow Burn: By slowing the rhythm in the buildup to prolong and extend the orgasm might cause frustration or be hard to stick with yet if you can hang on through it, the rewards are well worth it.
Pressure: You don’t have to press too hard. Rhythmic movements can be very subtle and still feel wonderful. Think about how a vibrator’s micro-movements feel …. Those feel pretty great right?
Irregular Movements- Some people just don’t like irregular motions and need things to be consistent.

Any of these techniques can help with how to orgasm or enhance your current routine. Remember the fun in having an orgasm is the exploring and adventure along the way.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Best Sex Toys for Couples – To Use with Your Partner

February 15, 2021/in Creating Desire, Improving Orgasm, Sex Tips/by Amanda Pasciucco

Playing with your partner is important in keeping the spark in your relationship so here are the best sex toys for couples.

Toys are great for play, ask around.

Using toys on your partner during sex is sure to give a greater experience.

Sure, mouths, hands and genitals are great, yet you can only use those so much without fatiguing. Making sex toys a part of your sexual routine gives you something different. An out of the ordinary experience!

You can decide to spice things up with toys both of you enjoy. Have the initial conversation first. Do they want to? What kind of toys are you talking about? Find information on the internet since the choices are limitless. If you are choosing your first toys, decide on beginner-level options, and graduate to more complicated ones.

For those in the market for sex toys to try, which you must be given you are still reading this article, here are 10 options. Some of them are store specific while others are general suggestions that can be found in most sex stores when you ask about best sex toys for couples.

1.Jive Couples Vibrator

This tool by We-Vibe is best for penetration glory.

It provides the satisfaction of penetrative stimulation and the We-Vibe Jive is an egg-shaped vibrator with a remote control. The best part is you can control it using your smartphone!

The Jive vibrator is inserted into your partner during oral sex. It is a great foreplay toy. You can wear it during a dinner date and allow your partner to control it through the evening.

When you get home, all the pent up sexual tension will not fit on any scale.

It goes for $112.05 on Amazon at the time of publishing.

2.Satisfyer’s Partner Whale

This vibrator by Satisfyer is made specifically for heterosexual or other sex couples. It has two powerful motors and a curvature that allows pleasure for both partners.

The Partner Whale has a thick part that lies on the clit as the extension goes inside the vagina. The extension targets the G-spot while massaging the penis at the same time.

It has buttons for convenience. The buttons control three vibration intensities and about seven rhythms. The Partner Whale is a beginner tool that is made to impress and help both partners climax. It costs $29.95 on Amazon at the time of publishing.

3.Complete Le Wand Pleasure Set

There is nothing like a toy to be enjoyed on your own and with a partner.

That is what the Le Wand pleasure set offers.

The set comes with various attachments depending on your needs. The wand can be used as a vibrator. By adding the attachments, it allows for anal penetration, clitoris stimulation and can hit the G-spot!

It is a toy for everyone and can be enjoyed when you are alone and with a partner. It is charged at $234.99 at the time of writing this blog at lewandmassager.com.

Use PayPal to buy it, as their customer service isn’t the best in my experience.

4.Foreplay Dice

You can never have enough foreplay. Lovehoney have ensured this by creating these sex dice for your pleasure. One dice has verbs: lick, spank, kiss etc. The other has nouns: mouth, thigh, neck etc.

Each partner can take a turn to roll the dice. They have to do what each verb and noun combo say. It is a fun foreplay game to keep your blood boiling.

The Lovehoney Oh! Roll Play Foreplay Dice go for $9.99 at the time of this blog on the Lovehoney official website: lovehoney.com.

5.Tomboi Harness

The Tomboi harness is perfect for relationships with no penis. In case one of you wants to experience penetrative sex, this harness is the answer! It can fit any dildo that exists in the universe and it is made of silky material. It fits just like normal underwear and is comfortable. Wear it and thump your way into your partner’s insides.

6.Sex Wedge or Ramp

Sex is best enjoyed in different positions. It needs variety, in strokes and positioning. The sex ramp helps to put your partner in these very much needed variety of positions. Using a sex ramp allows you and your partner to explore new ways to bend your bodies. It offers more chances for deeper penetration.

A great sex ramp should be comfortable and steady. Bonus points if you find one that is machine washable, since it is sure to get soiled while you get it on.

7.Cock Ring

A great toy for the penis is the cock ring. It sits around the base of the penis and vibrates, sending waves all through the shaft.

The cock ring has padded silicone to prevent any irritations from the vibrations. It is a great teaser during sex, as it allows just part of the penis to do the actual penetration. Both partners are sure to love this toy. Some people enjoy ones that go around the testicles as well.

8.Cuffs and Rope

Restriction of movement is sexy during sex. Having cuffs or rope to tie your partner with as you have your way with them is an incredible feeling. It gives you control, with consent of course.

The key to using cuffs and rope is comfort. Make sure they are not too tight on your partner’s hands and feet. Their being comfortable ensures they give you the time you need to explore their bodies.

There are many options when it comes to bondage play. If your bedroom does not offer places to hook normal handcuffs, you can try door jam cuffs. These can be thrown over the bedroom or bathroom door. Your partner can then strap in and give control.

9.Butt Plugs

Anal play is a sensitive subject. Some are partial to it, while some are all for it.

Have the conversation with your partner first (as you should before using any toy).

If your partner agrees, the best way to start anal stimulation can be using butt plugs.

Most come with remote control for your convenience. They have different vibration intensities.

Butt plugs are help to improve penetrative and oral sex. They are also great to be used when your partner is away and you want some sexy time.

10.Sex swing

Putting up a sex swing in your bedroom is a step every couple needs to have gone through. It needs to be attached carefully and according to instructions. Hanging it in safely is the first step to ensuring the best experience.

Create your private Cirque du Soleil by swinging right into penetration.

You can swing in positions that are limited by your imagination and achieve sexual pleasure beyond anything else.

As a couple, you have no reason to not use sex toys.

It is a great way to explore your sexuality as well as giving you secrets to share. You will have numerous experiences that will act as extremely pleasurable secrets. Sex toys are perfect for spicing things up and enjoying more of your partner’s company. Pick up any of these and enjoy.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Valentine’s Day – Secrets to Having The Best Sex

February 12, 2021/in Couples, Creating Desire, Intimacy/by Amanda Pasciucco

Valentine’s Day – Secrets to Having The Best Sex

If you want to understand how to have the best sex, this is the blog for you.

As you may know, society tells you pleasure is shameful and not acceptable. Apparently, sex and pleasure are for practical purposes only, like having a child.

This is simply not true though.

What ends up happening is that many people grow up confused on what the best sex can even be.

Often, in our practice, we are asked “how do I get better sex in my life?”

First, know that you deserve to have sexual needs and deserve the best sex.

My goal is for all people to communicate more effectively, especially around sex and asking for what they want as the best sex.

Let’s start here:

What do you consider sex is?
What does sexuality mean to you?
When does foreplay begin?
How long does sex last for?
How will you know you are satisfied and are having the best sex?
Have you actually had the best sex of your life already?

If you come see us at the practice I own, Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT), you will know that these are key components we want to understand to get you to your goal of the best sex possible.

Similarly, is the best sex about orgasm, partnership, or something else?

Not everyone has sex for the same reason every time they are engaging in what they consider sex is.

Therefore, understanding WHY you are having the sex and what NEED you are trying to fulfill in it is often an important place to begin processing what the best sex will look like for you.

Give yourself 15-30 minutes to reflect on your sexual fantasies, your desires, and your curiosities.

Then record them either in writing, a video on your phone of you reading them or stating them, or record a voice memo for yourself.

Think about where you like to be touched, and possibly how you like to be held.

With what pressure?
For how long?
With fingers or a massager?
Who is doing the holding and does that matter?
Where would you want partner(s) to touch?

For those of you who do not want to analyze sex, remember that sex happens in multiple quadrants – according to the late Gina Ogden. Emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual.

For those of you who don’t know where to start because these questions and concepts seem foreign, and you like to experience things in your body first, feel free to try this.

Set a timer for 15 minutes.

Slowly build sexual energy by facing a partner – cross legged or comfortable standing. If you are doing this solo, do it in a mirror.

Make eye contact and establish a connection. Make sure to face one another, with your lips slightly open. Remember, try to inhale through the nose, and exhale through the mouth.

Easy best sex tip: lock into your lovers breathing as a quick way to connect during sex.

It’s the easiest way to figure out the flavor of sex they are interested in.

Continue with long, deep breaths. Be curious in your mind, even if you are alone, about what next.

You can end just like this or you can continue with a partner, or with self touch on your arms, belly, or thighs.

It is not about orgasm. It is about touch, breath, or eye-gazing to wake up your body!

Our heart has 5 times the magnetism of the brain. I believe I learned in sex therapy school that 90 to 95% of serotonin and 50% of the dopamine (or 500 million neurons) is stored in the brain and the gut… which is 5x the number of neurons in the spinal column).

Being in connection with our hearts and emotional openness in the moment is the goal of the best sex, for me. What is the best sex for you? Have you spent enough time thinking about it?

Being tuned into what is going on inside yourself and, if partnered, at the same time as you are holding that the other person is doing this as well.

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

n appointment.

Looking to Amplify Your Eros During COVID19 – Sex is Complicated During the Pandemic

February 5, 2021/in Couples, Creating Desire/by Amanda Pasciucco

Looking to Amplify Your Eros During COVID19 – Sex is Complicated During the Pandemic

NYC.gov wrote a guide on safe sex during the pandemic!

Looks like self-pleasure is in style again…welcome back to the renaissance.

Laying around naked all day, working on my computer, wouldn’t be so bad if I actually resided in an actual American Utopia.

Due to COVID19, the guise of “happy” couples and families has been lifted.

As we grieve yet another loss of life, especially for people of color, it is more evident that we are in a trap of the pursuit of happiness, with no promises of ever achieving this state.

Surrounded by Thanatos (death) energy, the Clinical Sexologist in me ponders way too often what is going to happen as we are distant from others physically, and then do not have skills other than distraction for intimate connection.

For example, sitting on the balcony with a glass of wine or watching the sunset is not as exciting, after yet another day in quarantine bleeds into the next.

A professional tip of mine is to consider trading your “usual” Zoom happy hour for something more curious… something more erotically challenging.

Eros is one of the Greek words that translates loosely into “passionate love,” or “romantic love.” This led to the English translation of erotic which I have learned from my undergraduate studies in philosophy and Western Civilization is the human “life energy.”

Therefore, I suggest you begin looking for your LIFE energy during this time, because it matters!

Why?

Systemic grief is everywhere…especially for New Yorkers. It’s sadness and mourning over destroyed routines, lost jobs, and ill loved ones

When the impact of the COVID19 pandemic isn’t felt on a personal level, we grieve for what was lost. Sometimes adults even report missing their daily coffee shop visit and dating life.

Everyone is living through some level of discomfort, pain, loss, stress, or anxiety; everyone is looking for comfort, and coping the best they can.

What I’m hearing a lot these days from clients is concerns over the challenges of not working, working from home, and anxiety about furloughs.

Similarly, those who were working from home before now struggle with feeling less productive, as they juggle homeschooling their kids and living in relative chaos within their family system.

There’s also the adjustment of spending way more time with your partner or spouse.

Who wants to admit that they need a break and want to see less, not more of this person?

Quarantine For Couples

The couples I met with were forced into quarantine quickly with differing expectations of what it would look like.

Some of my clients report that their partner is stuck in “porn land,” using masturbation to destress.

Others find themselves in escalating arguments, yelling at each other in front of the children, or dealing with the ineffective silent treatment when resentments arise.

There are no bars to retreat to, no happy hours or trips to the gym that offer an escape. The situation is constant and present.

I resist the urge to tell them about non-monogamous folks, widows, or couples who don’t live together yet or don’t plan to.

How must it feel to go months without intimate touch from another person?

These individuals are often living a single life and truly are feeling isolated.

They don’t have the option to touch their partners and often report to me being extremely “touch depleted.”

One example would be a young widow, now living alone. She states, “I have not even been able to give or receive a hug from another in sooooooo long….”

As a sex therapist, I suggest self-pleasure and lubrications. She states, “honestly I am in no mood… AND I know if I change the action, a changed feeling can follow… I will try it.”

Often, it is easier to cope by reverting to old behavior patterns, withdrawing or becoming hypervigilant.

It is easy to become disheartened at a time like this, especially when there is a clear divide of how individuals are being treated.

There are a few things I’d like to emphasize to any readers struggling to maintain intimate connections while staying at home in the face of such disruption. The first is that we have to accept there are different levels of erotic connection.

Don’t hold yourself or your partner to past standards that are now unrealistic. There aren’t any romantic date nights in the city that involve great restaurants and wonderful drinks that phase effortlessly into amazing sex.

We have to accept that reality has shifted.

The stress of the pandemic makes it easy to forget sex as a priority.

“There’s too much going on right now,” you may tell yourself as the days go by without intimacy.

Your partner will understand, right?

The danger here is when days turn into weeks. People dealing with stress often resist sex because they feel like it shouldn’t take so much work. They want flirting, foreplay, and all of the other non-verbal signs that lead to sex.

I can tell you that the desire for connection and flow with other humans is still very prevalent, even during a pandemic. You’ve got to find a way to make it happen. That could mean scheduling at home date nights on the calendar or creating codewords with your partner to let them know you need something to happen ASAP. Get creative to keep sex going.

Of course, sex should never be a chore, particularly for people feeling depression, anxiety and grief over the current situation. If you need to put eros on hold, for now, that’s appropriate.

Another thing I’m working with many of my clients in Connecticut and New York is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s interesting how much guilt is attached to taking care of ourselves. I talk to people every day who feel bad about needing a break from kids or their spouses. They think it reflects poorly on them, that they are somehow selfish or not “handling it all.”

Online, we’re bombarded with articles like “10 Things You Can Do to Be More Productive in Quarantine” and the like. We’re stuck in a culture of shame where people who are sad or searching for comfort are told to “be disciplined” and “do more!”

This is a common form of toxic positivity that we all need to be wary of. The endless pressure to stay positive and look on the bright side pushes people struggling deeper into themselves and their grief.

It’s ok to be down, and it’s ok to talk to someone about it.

I saw this firsthand as one of the responders in the Sandy Hook shooting years ago where trauma and terror were visceral and lasting. Sometimes, the urge to offer encouragement needs to be squelched so people can grieve.

If you’re feeling pain from your past life and the things you miss, it’s ok to live in those feelings for a while.

It’s normal to long for your emotional connections and erotic life

Don’t simply tell yourself “everything’s fine” when it isn’t.

The final thing I’d like to touch on is the importance of honesty in our relationships.

Now, more than ever, we must start from a radically honest position with our spouses, partners, and any other intimate relationships.

Fight the inclination to say everything’s fine when it’s not.

Not everyone can be connected, grounded, and gracious all the time.

Be honest with yourself and find the courage to tell your partner what you need before stress makes things worse.

That’s the best way to avoid non-threatening communication and raging emotions.

Going through this experience can help all of us become attuned to what we need and how we can discuss emotions in a healthy way.

I’m using telehealth in my practice to stay connected and keep seeing clients who are struggling. I began offering text and video therapy sessions to hear them and help them with strategies in real-time.

I’m fortunate that early last year I started thinking through telemedicine, as I saw where the trend was going. My clients wanted more accessible lines of communication outside of our regular on-site, one-hour meeting each week.

Yes, it is fair to say remote therapy isn’t perfect, though I have to accept that it may be the new normal for a bit.

Video and text therapy sessions have ramped significantly since quarantine began. We are all interested to see how things play out as we begin to normalize – whatever that means.

This pandemic is changing so much about how we communicate and interact with others

As we grow closer to understanding our own needs, we have the capacity to listen to those we care about.

Remember, lean in compassionately, with yourself, and with those struggling through this with you, if it is safe to do so. Give yourself the love you need to survive and thrive.

And if all else fails, follow the nyc.gov guidelines on being your own safest sex partner!

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

The Secrets to Having Sex in Public

January 15, 2021/in Couples, Creating Desire/by Amanda Pasciucco

The Secrets to Having Sex in Public

The idea of someone watching you while you have sex in public is hot for many.

Sure, you are breaking the law, and yes, some rules are meant to be broken.

The exhibitionist streak in most of us can be strong. Chances are, if you have thought about it, this article already has your thoughts wandering.

If a casual observer can see you, you are in public. Public places include:

Parks
Public bathrooms
Beaches
Airports

Having sex in public can be thrilling.

There is a chance that you may get caught, which gets your adrenaline pumping.

It can be particularly great, and / or challenging, for people in long-term relationships.

It is unconventional and will definitely spice things up for you.

Is Public Sex Legal?

No.

No matter how thrilling it is, it involves breaking the law.

You must definitely avoid getting busy with your partner in a park or place where you can get caught.

The law varies in different governments and countries.

If arrested, you may be charged with lewdness or public indecency. Possible penalties for this include community service, jail time, and a fine.The worst consequence would be that you get registered as a sex offender – so be cautious!

Sex in public enables you to get creative. It requires quick and thorough assessment of the situation you are in. You need to find the balance between a public enough place which still gives you privacy.

The secret to sex in public, or a public romp, charges your body with adrenaline and dopamine.

Don’t get arrested for chasing a thrill.

Where to Have Public Sex

There are a number of places where you can have public sex without getting caught.

Here are some examples to jog your creativity:

Your balcony or backyard – if you are new to public sex, easing into it is a great idea.

Start on familiar ground. Having sex on your balcony or backyard has the danger of being noticed. You can use patio furniture for support. This will also allow you to try more sex positions.

Take the first step and get outside.

The car – your car is a public yet private space.

What is great about it is you can control where you park it. A secluded parking lot or on the side of the road, the choice is yours. It is best to use the backseat, as there is room in the backseat.

You must avoid accidentally honking the horn and alerting people. And… yes, this does expose you if you are in a parking lot to arrest.

The woods or park – getting naughty in nature is always a great idea.

Channel your internal wild one and quietly go into a park or a wooded place with a partner you trust.

Use trees and bushes to shield you. Having sex near trails and paths will give you a sense of publicity.

Remember, you need to watch out for poison ivy and tickets, and the danger of getting caught.

A sex party – once you begin to get used to the idea of public sex, a sex party should be on your “to-do list.” A sex party is great because it eliminates the danger of being caught.

You can relax and enjoy “public sex” with your partner.

The beach – beach sex is often great at night.

There is minimal traffic in the dark as compared to daytime. Carry a blanket to lie on, and get ready as sand will get everywhere. You can also use beach chairs or be in a cabana which is extremely sturdy.

The secret to beach sex is you have to avoid too much movement.

Bathrooms – pre covid, this is probably the most used place for public sex.

Examples include at an airport, a hotel or restaurant.

Bathroom sex is for when you just cannot wait till you get home to do it. Public bathrooms can be contaminated with germs. You will need to incorporate some gymnastic skills to get it on.

You also do not have the luxury to remove a lot of clothing or shoes.

Non-Law Breaking Options

Sex in public is risky. In case you are not willing to take part in it, there are ways to incorporate it into your routine. You can take care of your exhibitionist streak and still be within the confines of the law.

These are shortcuts to be kinky with your partner in public while remaining a law-abiding citizen:

Role play – you can pretend to be in public. This requires lots of imagination. Have sex with your partner ass you would in a public place. Do not get completely naked. You can unzip pants or just hike up a skirt. You should also avoid the bed.

Party sex – this does not mean having a party where people come to have sex at your place, though tempting. You can sneak into a bedroom while hosting a party or event for a quickie.

Remember to lock the door, since party guests will definitely look for you.

Have your quickie and go back to your party as if you were not getting it on with your partner.

Friends to watch – first off, have a conversation with your friends.

You may want to start with a couple, or some of your kinkiest buddies. Make sure they are into watching and being watched. You can host these friends to watch you have sex. Also, return the favor and watch them. It is sure to be a fulfilling party.

Webcam – taking things virtual in today’s digital world is easy and a safer sex option.

Set up a webcam and wear a mask if you want to remain anonymous.

You can have fun on your own or with a partner while strangers watch.

Acting on your fantasies is a great way to remain sexually adventurous.

Sex in public is a common and usually rewarding fantasy.

Remember to keep your partner’s needs in mind, especially if they show signs of being uncomfortable, do not continue, and ask to go home and talk about it later.

You can also just let it remain a fantasy. There is nothing like unmet needs to keep your blood boiling, and the mind often cannot tell the difference between what is powerfully imagined vs. what is real.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

January 4, 2021/in Creating Desire, Improving Orgasm, Intimacy/by Amanda Pasciucco

How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

How long do sexless marriages last is a question that many couples that are in sexless marriages ask. Even though it isn’t very obvious, more marriages suffer sex-related issues than is envisaged.

To ascertain what happens in a sexless marriage, let’s start with a clear description of what a sexless marriage entails.

A sexless marriage is one in which sex is not exactly frequent between the couple involved. Most experts categorize this frequency as anything less than ten times within a year. For some marriages, being sexless can mean the lack of sexual intimacy for even as few as a few weeks.

How long a sexless marriage will last depends largely on the couple and the conditions surrounding their relationship. Since people are different, there can be no general predictions for how long marriages will stay without sex.

Outcomes should be based on the people involved, their dispositions, natural makeup, and the mutual agreement between them.

For marriages that do not hinge their intimacy and bonding on sexual activities. Staying sexless may not make lots of difference.

On the other hand, couples whose closeness is mostly dependent on sex may find it difficult to cope in a sexless marriage.

There are different reasons why a marriage bed can become void of sexual activities. And these reasons determine, to a large extent, how long the marriage can thrive without sex.

Low Sex Drive Due to Health Issues on One Partner

Sometimes, health problems can affect the sexual orientation of a marriage. One partner may have physical or mental health problems that take a toll on their sex drive. In this case, the other partner may understand the situation and make efforts to keep the marriage going.

If both partners understand each other and are willing to make efforts towards other home-building activities in the marriage. It will only be a matter of time for the condition to improve.

When Other Things Are More Important Than Sex to the Couple

While most couples view sex as an activity crucial for their relationship’s survival, others do not hold the same view. Some married folks are very comfortable running their day-to-day activities from the same house, without paying attention to lovemaking.

Some regard sex as a fun act to indulge in once in a while, as they go about other activities together. These activities could be child upbringing, work, business, or even studies. For a good number of others, sex may not be among the vital reasons they came together in the first place.

Most contract marriages and people who married for financial or social status purposes may also not view sex as something necessary to keep the marriage going. Provided the initial conditions of interest are still present.

So, for couples who mutually agree to focus on bonding through means other than sex. Their marriage will undoubtedly last for as long as the agreement remains.

If, however, one partner decides otherwise, a compromise has to be made for divorce not to become the imminent outcome of such marriage.

Low Sex Drive From Both Ends

Generally, when one partner has a greater sex drive than the other, the union may end up suffering. However, when the two people involved desire sex less often, their marriage can be as normal as one in which both partners experience greater urges for sex.

In fact, for partners who both have very little desire to get sexually engaged. Having sex less than ten times every year may not constitute much of a big deal for them. And since no partner ever gets to feel neglected or unsatisfied, there would be no need to go over-the-top to impress anyone.

Underlying Problems

When a marriage relationship becomes sexless due to emotional or communication problems between the couple. Then there is a slimmer chance of survival for such marriage.

Problems that could cause partners to want less of each other physically include infidelity, lack of communication, unsettled arguments. And abrupt changes in one spouse’s behavior.

Trying to get intimate without solving the problems causing the divide may make no difference to the marriage’s life span. Hence, how long a sexless marriage lasts, in this case, will depend on how soon the couple can settle their differences and ignite the flames in their sex lives.

Neglect from One Partner

Life can also take its toll on a marriage and turn it sexless overtime. Sometimes, married folks can get too busy with work, school, or child care to pay attention to each other. And if leaving out sex is not mutually agreed upon by both partners, the less active partner may begin to feel neglected and sexually starved.

In most divorce cases, due to sexual dissatisfaction, it is usually found that one partner is usually at the receiving end of the dissatisfaction. The marriage unavoidably comes to an end when the affected partner can no longer keep up with the neglect.

Hence, a marriage that gets stripped of intimacy due to neglect from one partner may never recover if the defaulter does not realize and make an effort to revive sex in their relationship. However, there could still be hope for such a marriage if the problem could be communicated and resolved.

In a Nutshell, the question: ‘how long do sexless marriages last?’ should be rightly answered in the light of the circumstances surrounding the marriage. And the obvious answer should be however long you are willing to be within it.

If you both are sexless and enjoy that, you can last until death do you part. But If one of you wants sex, it probably has about a 2-5 year breaking point from the time someone brings up sex as a problem.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

A Pro Guide on How To Make A Woman Orgasm

December 21, 2020/in Creating Desire, Improving Orgasm/by Amanda Pasciucco

A Pro Guide on How To Make A Woman Orgasm

Probably since the dawn of time, individuals have wanted to know how to make a woman orgasm.

You could ask many people about sensual pleasuring and you will hear a variety of responses from “well foreplay and bang the hell out of her” to a detailed encounter (examples: some get as detailed as rubbing the external clit glans counterclockwise for three minutes, then stroke between the labia lips and, tug on her nipples before thrusting anything in her can get her intensely close to orgasm).

Each person has a different goal and each woman orgasm is best discovered by knowing the body of that person.

These techniques on how to make a woman orgasm though are better than what you will find in most mainstream porn though. Not to shame porn, as I write for Pornhub, I think this is a more in depth look at pleasure.

Here are some of the techniques we have found which commonly get missed:

“Rimming” or shallowing of the introitus (a fancy word meaning the opening of the vagina).

Think of the rimming or shallowing effect as the champagne in the lobby phase of the evening.

Rimming… or shallowing is where the penis, dildo, or finger hangs out near the opening of the vagina for an amount of time.

When the tip is just barely in the vagina, there is an intense amount of pleasure and building which can come from this.

While on top if you rock your hips and gently massage the tip and prevent the whole penis from entering you are not only gaining more pleasure, you are also slowly making your partner build as well.

Shallowing has also been known to enhance the orgasm once full penetration has been achieved.

The Curl – Start above the opening and curl the toy, penis, or fingers downward so the tip drags against the bottom wall of the vagina on its way in and lightly curls up to touch the top wall of the introitus.
Repeat over and over – no more than 5 times.
The Slight Catch – Put the tip of the toy, penis, or finger against the opening and move up and down so that it “catches” the entrance (the introitus) and goes into the hole of the vagina a tiny bit each time as you pass by. There can be a lovely little thrust from your partner each time as the tip goes in and rubs against the walls on its way up and down.
Butterfly Flutter – The head of the penis or the toy may be thicker than the base of the shaft.
Not always true of penises and toys, yet sometimes true. This can create a fun pressure just as it begins to penetrate. Fluttering is a way to get that feeling over and over again with quick repeated presses. Similar to knocking on a front door. The object will move in and out without depth of penetration.
Tipping- Not like what you do at a restaurant to the waitstaff, this is where you put a finger/toy/penis at the opening of the vagina and press it so only the tip goes inside.

While it may seem like this is all about teasing and anticipation of more penetration, it’s not! The research shows that just stating with gentle thrusts feels amazing for those receiving. It begins to create a sensation and a story in the mind that the body immediately begins to respond to.

When practicing these tips to build up to orgasm:

Remember Warm and Wet first – Like other kinds of penetration, rimming or shallowing often feels better after foreplay. Even a gentle or rough touch around the thighs, breasts, and butt can feel amazing as a woman is beginning to get wet. Shallowing is a lot less pleasurable if there isn’t lube… so keep some handy by the side of your bed.

Slow and gentle – unlike Clitoral stimulation and deeper penetration, where speed is sometimes appreciated, some women prefer slower and gentler motions when just inside the vaginal opening.

Deliciously Subtle – The sensations from rimming or shallowing can be far more subtler than touching the external clit or labia or even deeper penetration. Give it time and try really focusing on the feeling.

Slippery Slope – It is tempting to quickly move past shallowing to deeper penetration, especially for couples when the penis head is just inside.

Learning to savor the feeling just inside the opening can heighten the entire experience. It will make you appear like a sexpert, and it gives more time for better results.

It’s not just a warm-up – Many love this rimming and shallowing effect as a main course activity.

Yes – women can orgasm from it!

Others love going back to a shallow touch after deep penetration. It can refresh the sensation for deeper penetration. Some women find this is a nice building technique to gain a more fulfilling orgasm.

If this doesn’t feel amazing on its own, know that Shallowing goes great with other activities. A fingertip inside can be added during other forms of sex, like oral, clitoral stimulation, and even anal play.

Don’t use the same fingers near the anus and the vagina.

Staying in the vagina is another great method to enhance an orgasm. This method seems simple enough, don’t break contact and keep it in, yet it goes deeper than that. No pun intended.

Staying in is more than not breaking contact, yet changing the experience in itself.

Keeping the toy or penis in which changing positions is hard enough as it is, yet this is all about how you move while inside the vagina.

Rocking is where the area just above the penis stays in contact with the clit and the top of the shaft, toy, and finger stays in contact with the upper ridge of the vagina.

The part that serves as a pivot point and instead of the focus being on moving in and out, it’s on rocking the area above the shaft, toy, or finger across the clit. Rolling is similar to Rocking, except the hips roll in a circular motion or left and right.

Take a tip from lesbian orgasm techniques because this is a great way to change things up from the old in and out motion and thus learn how to make a woman orgasm.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How To Have An Anal Orgasm

November 16, 2020/in Creating Desire, Improving Orgasm, Sex Positions/by Amanda Pasciucco

How To Have An Anal Orgasm

If you’ve only ever seen an anal orgasm in a movie or in porn, you may think that the only way to have one is penetrative anal sex.

If anal sex is intimidating to you or you just don’t like it, you’ll be happy to know that there are many ways to have an anal orgasm!

First Thing’s First: Keep It Clean!

Personal hygiene is always important, and feeling clean before getting dirty can help you focus on your anal orgasm. You don’t want to be distracted because you’re worrying about cleanliness!

It may surprise you, however your butt is likely as clean as the rest of your body, so be as clean as is comfortable for you and your partner.

A baby wipe is a fast way to refresh your anal area quickly, and you can keep an individually wrapped one in your pocket or purse.

Hair is a reality of being a mammal, and we all have different amounts of hair on our buttocks, cracks and around the anus. Unwanted hair can be (carefully) shaved, waxed or plucked, though it can take some manoeuvring if you’re taking the DIY route.

There’s also a common misconception that if you are wanting to engage in anal play of any kind you need to avoid eating certain foods or use an enema. There is usually very little fecal matter in the rectum as it is usually stored in the colon. If you’ve have a bowel movement the day of sex, you’re probably just fine. If you’d like, you can irrigate the rectum with a home enema kit. Again, it is up to you and your partner to decide what level of cleanliness you’re both comfortable with.

If certain foods upset your stomach, simply try to avoid them if you anticipate any anal action.

Get Comfortable

Having any kind of orgasm, including an anal orgasm, requires a level of comfort and arousal. As you know, that can be easier said than done, especially if you’re going into new territory!

Despite what porn might make you believe, anal orgasms can happen through gentle, sensual stimulation as well as from more aggressive penetration- it is all about personal preference and learning what you like. This means communication before the fact about no-go zones, and continuous

So…How Do I Have An Anal Orgasm?!

Half the battle of achieving an anal orgasm is the willingness to experiment and find out what you like! There are so many different ways to play with the anal area, so read ahead and see what might be appealing to you and your sexual partner or partners.

External vs Internal Stimulation…or Both!

People achieve any kind of orgasm differently, and having an anal orgasm is no exception. There are so many options available for your level of comfort and what you find pleasurable. You may find that you have an anal orgasm through penetration, or maybe you require purely external stimulation. Maybe you need both. Try some things out and have some fun!

Non-Penetrative Options

You don’t have to have any penetration at all to potentially enjoy an anal orgasm. You can achieve orgasm with these activities:

Rimming: Basically, oral sex for your ass. Your partner can lick you as gently or firmly as you desire, or even stick their tongue into your anus to stimulate those sensitive nerve endings. Just make sure the area is clean to their level of comfort, and that they do not perform oral on your genitals or kiss afterwards without using antibacterial mouthwash first.
Toys: vibrating toys are a LOT of fun and a great way to ease into anal stimulation if both parties are feeling uncertain. A simple bullet vibe will work ONLY if you don’t use it for penetration. If you think you might be open to having the toy go in, even a little bit, find a toy with a flared base. Riding crops and feathers can be used to tease the area or for spankings without venturing directly to the anus, rather focusing on the buttocks.

Penetrative Options

Did you know people with vaginas have A-spots? And you can stimulate the G-spot anally? It’s true! Ever heard of the P-spot? That P stands for prostate, and people assigned male at birth have them. All of these specific spots can be stimulated through penetration with toys, fingers, or anything you want to put in there.

Remember, if you are engaging in penetrative anal play, you need to try and relax the sphincter of your anus. So the experience is more enjoyable. Lots of foreplay, lots of lube, and lots of communication!

P-spot

Known medically as the prostate
People assigned male at birth have a prostate
Located 2 inches into the rectum, on the front wall
The prostate will feel like a small, firm bulb. It will feel distinctly different than the rest of the area.
BONUS: you can actually stimulate the prostate indirectly by stimulating the perineum, or the taint.
Make sure you use toys with a flared base to avoid losing them inside the rectum.
Always wash your hands after anal play before touching other genitals or your face/eyes/mouth.

A-spot

The anterior fornix or a-spot is 5-6 inches deep into the vagina.
Feels similar to the G-spot to the touch but deeper
People assigned female at birth have an anterior fornix
The A-spot can be stimulated from penetrating the rectum
BONUS: The g-spot can be stimulated from the rectum, too! Think of it like finding the “back” side of the g-spot; similar location an inch or so inside, just stimulating it from the other side.

Toys

Butt plugs: You can purchase these in varying gauges so you can “train” yourself to accommodate larger penetrating objects. Use some lube designed for anal play, and enjoy the feeling of just having something in there. It can be a way to feel out the sensation of something in the area without any bells and whistles or movement. Though a vibrating plug can be a real treat for all parties involved!
Double pronged dildos: For folks with vaginas, a double pronged dildo or vibrator can be a fun way to explore double penetration, stimulating your vagina and rectum simultaneously. Many people find this incredibly pleasurable, and it is likely because of stimulating the A-spot and G-spot from both sides. As always, use lots of lube!

If Its Not Happening…

Not everyone can enjoy an anal orgasm, no matter how comfortable they are. Remember, we are not robots: it isn’t as simple as pressing the right button to get an anal orgasm. Or any orgasm! Even if you don’t achieve a full anal orgasm, anal play can be a fun and pleasurable activity to throw into your sex life for some variety and adventure.

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Long Gloves for Costumed Sex Ideas

November 2, 2020/in Creating Desire, Intimacy, Lifestyle/by Amanda Pasciucco

Long Gloves for Costumed Sex Ideas

Instead of throwing away those long gloves from halloween or stuffing them in the closet for next year, how about you consider using them for a fun date night scene?

It is my sense that human beings have core universal needs which is beautifully captured in http://www.cnvc.org/Training/needs-inventory.

These inner human needs are like nutrients for our psyche and our sensuality. long gloves

When our needs are fulfilled we feel whole, joyful, comfortable, and expansive.

When our needs are depleted or unmet, we feel uncomfortable, constricted, and unsatisfied.

While most of us have a longing or desire for fulfillment so that we may return to a state of wholeness, partnered sex and role play can sometimes bridge the gap between a variety of consenting adults with different interpersonal and sexual needs.

Long gloves are a common staple in a variety of closets and costumes, and one can say that an elegant role play is often in style.

Here are some of our favorite role plays that include long gloves!

Inner Seductress

To play with this archetype, put your long gloves on and cultivate your confidence.

One way to use long gloves is to imagine what other clothing your inner seductress wears.

With the long gloves on, seduce your partners’ skin in a sensation of orgasmic bliss. Yes… the skin is orgasmic! This flavor isn’t about the genitals. It is about the skinsation!

Mistress and sub

Bring you and a partner out in public, you as the Top and them as the submissive.

This is a mental long gloves connection… The little touches and discrete affection in public when you are holding hands while wearing gloves is exciting and exhilarating. This all goes a long way mentally.

Adding another dimension to this is that kink and BDSM have a range of play.

Behaviors like top and bottom are contained under the umbrella of kink terms, and they do not always involve sexual contact. Actually, some prefer the erotic change of being in charge or having their power and choices limited for some period of time.

The long gloves can symbolize that even in your bedroom.

Photographer and Model

Put on your long gloves and have your partner (this can work with newer sex partners who have established trust and boundaries as well) take photos of you in the long gloves.

And nothing other than the long gloves when it is someone you actually trust, vs someone you just met (or have known under 4-18 months).

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Super Spooky Halloween Sex Tips

October 30, 2020/in Creating Desire, Intimacy, Lifestyle/by Amanda Pasciucco

Super Spooky Halloween Sex Tips

Halloween sex is a perfect time to let loose your inner witch, warlock or werewolf! Whether you are looking to try something a little different or push your boundaries to the extreme, there are plenty of tricks and treats to try this season.

Halloween sex can be fun, funny, scary (in a good way!) and is a perfect opportunity to unleash your creativity…and the beast within!

Sex for Witches

Spells, potions, candlelight, crystals and potions- these are real turn ons for sexy witches! Set the mood by lighting your favorite candles, away from your flowing robes of course. Place crystals around the bedroom to encourage sensuality and fantasy fulfillment. Rose quartz, red garnet and jasper can all encourage sexual energies.

Conjure arousal with potent aphrodisiacs like oysters or dark chocolate, or sexy botanicals like maca, red ginseng and fenugreek. Get out your favorite spell book and find a recipe for a delicious love potion. I find margaritas do the trick!

What to wear? How about nothing? Dance naked in the moonlight with your partner, letting the glorious light cascade over your bodies as you intertwine passionately.

If you have no one in your coven to dance with, find your special, body-safe silicone broomstick with the ten different vibration settings and cast a love spell on yourself over and over again. If you can’t find a broom, you can also use a crystal dildo made from rose quartz or jade. Chakrub makes beautiful sex toys from crystals for sexy witches and mortals alike.

Sex for Ghosts

You don’t have to be into spectrophilia to enjoy the cold embrace of love in the afterlife. For a spooky Halloween sex idea, put your clean bedsheets in the freezer and lay them on the bed before getting down to business.

The cold sheets will give you a chill down your spine, and perk up all your senses.

More into shape shifting Victorian ghosts? Halloween sex in a beautiful costume will help you live out the period romance you’ve been dreaming of! Corsets, ruffles, garters and nightgowns by candlelight can strike the perfect balance of spooky and sexy.

Want to get really weird? Set up a spooky haunted house scenario for your lover (with their consent of course!). Blindfold your partner and lead them through the house where you have set up spooky sensory experiences. A haunted house classic is a bowl of peeled grapes as eyeballs, let your imagination run wild, perhaps an ice cube in your mouth for cold, ghoulish kisses or a new toy to make them scream with pleasure.

Sex for Mummies

Massaged with perfumed oils from head to toe and then bound tightly? Who knew mummies could be so sexy!

Ancient Egyptians were known to use sweet almond oil, rose, and thyme during mummification, so use your lover’s favorite luxurious oils and perfumes to give them a relaxing massage before tying them up tightly.

Using ripped strips of cotton sheets instead of rope is beginner friendly and still gives the excitement of bondage. The power dynamic and the feeling of being tightly squeezed with no escape can be scary in all the right ways when done consensually.

Bind your mummy’s legs or arms and shower them with sensual affection that they cannot reciprocate. They’ll be dying to burst from their binds, so feel free to take turns torturing each other!

Sex for Vampires

Perhaps the sexiest creature of the night, vampire fantasies abound from Anne Rice to Twilight. There are even people who live like vampires and drink their lover’s blood!

You don’t need to go that far to enjoy vampire-approved sex. A few lube manufacturers have created blood colored lube to give a gory twist to your sex life. Not for the faint of heart, this is a safe and scary way to make a big mess.

Having sex during your period is an extra delight for creatures with blood lust and can save you from spending your money on that bloody lube. Lay down a soft towel to preserve Dracula’s sheets, or throw caution to the wind and just enjoy making a mess together.

If you love the romantic thrill of vampires however you’re squeamish about blood, kiss your lover’s neck, giving light to firm love bites. They may leave a mark, so make sure you have a turtleneck to wear to work! Wink wink.

Drink a blood inspired cocktail together, like a blood orange screwdriver or sangria, which is derived from the Spanish term for “bloodletting”. Yummy.

Sex for Werewolves

Instead of a silver bullet, how about a bullet vibrator? Tease your partner with this tiny and powerful vibrator until they howl at the moon!

Into hairy wolf people? Halloween sex is a fun night to break out some costumes and act out some aggressive, animalistic fantasies. Set boundaries and safe words beforehand and enjoy tearing each other apart. Dig your nails or teeth into their skin, pull their hair, and definitely let out some growls of passion.

You don’t have to be a furry to enjoy a beastly costume, have fun with the campiness and novelty of a different character in the bedroom.

Sex for Mortal Candy-Lovers

The best part of Halloween isn’t the scary movies or sexy costumes- it’s the candy of course! While it is fun to sit and eat a bowl of treats while watching Scream for the 85th time, why not try something a little naughtier?

Get tricks and treats by including you and your partner’s favorite goodies into sexy time. Just remember, no sweets in vaginas or you can risk an infection. Instead, try using candy in creative ways!

A candy necklace doesn’t have to go on your neck. Try putting it around your leg like a garter, or wrap it around the shaft of your partner’s penis. The biting can feel a little dangerous and can be oh so sexy. Just ask your vampire friends!

A little light bondage or choking with shoelace licorice, or placing small candies along your partner’s body and eating them off can be a sensual treat.

And if you have some whipped cream left over from pumpkin pie? Well, you know what to do…whipped cream isn’t just for Halloween sex!

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Call us at 203-733-9600 and press 0 to leave a message, or make an appointment.

Green Flags for Couple Goals

October 21, 2020/in Couples, Creating Desire, Intimacy/by Amanda Pasciucco

Green Flags for Couple Goals

Whenever people talk about couple goals and relationships, there is a tendency to focus on the “red flags.” Instead of focusing on the things that should be avoided, or early warning signs that a relationship is “doomed,” we are going to focus on green flags for couple goals today!

While it can certainly be helpful when creating couples goals to know what you want to avoid and what to look out for, it can leave you feeling directionless when knowing what you should be looking for!

Things that should be avoided, or early warning signs that a relationship is “doomed”.

While it can certainly be helpful when creating couple goals to know what you want to avoid and what to look out for, it can leave you feeling directionless when knowing what you should be looking for!

The Benefits of Positivity

It is definitely smart to avoid certain behaviors as a couple or as an individual, so red flags are something useful for identifying behaviors, habits and personality traits that may be harmful to a relationship or to oneself.

Think about it: if you bought furniture and the assembly instructions only included what you shouldn’t do, you would have a lot of trouble trying to build something functional and structurally sound!

The same goes for couple goals: using green flags is a great way to identify what is right about a relationship, what you may be looking for, and to remind you what is already working so you can focus on aspects to improve towards.

So What Are The Green Flags?

Most couple goals or green flags can be sorted into five basic categories:

Communication
Compromise
Boundaries
Respect
Sense of Self

Most red flags fall into these categories too, and green flags give you solutions rather than just identifying problems.

Let’s dive into these green flags!

Communication

Communication will always be the foundation of a great relationship can must be one of your couples goals. Most of the other green flags are an offshoot of communication, it is so important! couple goals

Some green flags to indicate strong communication include:

Listening to you talk when you have issues, and supporting you through them
Recognizes your love language and uses it to express their love instead of only using their own love language
Modeling what they would like to hear in an argument. Ex: “Next time this comes up, a way that would model a healthier approach for me would be to say “What I think I hear you saying is____, is that correct?”

Listening supportively and communicating in ways that you each find effective are good signs that you are building a foundation to set some serious couples goals.

Compromise

Compromise should never mean becoming a doormat or consistently letting your own needs and wants take a backseat for the sake of your partner.

Compromise means trying to find solutions that benefit both of you, and finding ideas and solutions that are maybe even better than anyone’s singular idea. Think synergistically: the sum is greater than the whole of its parts.

This requires humility and letting go of the desire to “win”. A relationship where everyone is trying to win and outrank each other is a huge red flag, so look at these green flags when it comes to compromise:

Look for the mutually-empowering way (a win-win) to resolve issues
Postponing gratification in the moment
Being able to apologize and take ownership of wrongdoing

Being humble and accommodating each other’s unique and evolving needs will benefit your couples goals by working together for a great relationship.

Boundaries

Boundaries can go hand in hand with compromise. Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting out your partner, and is actually about letting them in.

Knowing your partner’s boundaries and being mindful of them is a green flag. Here are some examples:

You partner stops doing things that you say make you uncomfortable
Don’t avoid sharing truths.

Taking actions that respect each other’s boundaries will strengthen trust. The ability to be honest and open about your boundaries can help build that trust too.

Respect

Respect is like Communication’s close sister, they are so closely related and you can’t really have one without the other when working towards couples goals.

It is hard to feel confident about yourself or even communicate this feeling if you don’t feel you are respected. All relationships rely on respect to keep them communicative, loving and lasting.

Some green flags that indicate respect:

You don’t put each other down deliberately, especially in public
Uses a calm, rational tone during arguments
Support each other’s ambitions and aids in growth
Keeping your word, doing what you say you will do and follows through.

Strong Sense of Self

You cannot set strong couple goals if you are not feeling complete as individuals, with your own goals, opinions, aspirations and ideas.

You can approach relationships in a healthier way if you let go of the mindset that someone else will “complete” you.

As romantic as that is in movies, in the real world it can leave you disappointed and co-dependent!

Some green flags:

You both engage in your own inner work, consistently over and over
Support each other’s ambitions and goals
Celebrate each other’s accomplishments without jealousy
Each have goals outside of the relationship
Self respect

The statement “you can’t give someone a drink from an empty cup” is cliché though true: if you aren’t continuing to grow, work on yourself and find fulfillment in your own life, you won’t have much to give a partner or to a relationship.

In the same vein, you don’t need to sacrifice your entire cup to someone else- it is yours to drink from and share as you please!

Redefining Couple Goals

The point of focusing on a “green flag” system instead of or adjacent to a red flag mindset is to give you actionable habits and behaviors to work towards in your relationships.

Knowing what to work on and what to look for in relationships can be immensely helpful when working towards growth and relationship health.

Which of these green flags do you already look for in relationships? Are some of these the answer to the red flags you actively avoid? Which green flags do you want to try out first in your couple goals?

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Call us at 203-733-9600 and press 0 to leave a message, or make an appointment.

Couples Sex is Unique!

October 12, 2020/in Couples, Creating Desire, Sex Therapist/by Amanda Pasciucco

Couples Sex is Unique!

Couples sex is unique to each partnership, and often important!

The thing is couples sex varies in your lifetime between you and a partner.

Couples sex vary by individuals desires, yet we can agree it is often when both individuals are pleased and the relationship is thriving and growing.

If you’re not in the habit of discussing couples sex, why not give it a try?

For couples sex enhancements… continue reading!

Step 1: Go to google drive, and start a shared drive with your partner(s)!

There’s something magical about writing down your hopes and fantasies.

They tend to come true!

Step 2: Plan Ahead!

Plan a weekly date night – for sex!
Plan another night for talking about maintenance conversations
- What do we have to buy?
- Is something broken in the house?
- Bills? Changes? Requests?

Step 3: Work on yourself because growing is attractive!

Experience vulnerability – a major component in intimacy.
Learn about your own body and pleasure in solo sex!

Step 4: Support your partner by using reflective listening!

What I think I hear you saying is _____. Is that close?

Step 5: Don’t blame your partner!

Couples sex is better when we as a couple are co creating with the world.
We are not in charge of the world… yet we get to be in charge of what we say, think, and even prune and develop.

If nothing else, use your imagination and fantasies you would like to try to make new couples sex experiences. Ask yourself: does my inner _____ (Stripper) really vibe with your inner _____ (Romantic).

Maybe… or maybe not.

It is good to know that those two are not going to enjoy showing up together in life or in the bedroom.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Call us at 203-733-9600 and press 0 to leave a message, or make an appointment.