Sexy Time for Singles

Sexy Time for Singles

 

So you want to have more sexy time as a single?

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of Sexy Time for Singles and getting through this time period.

In this video, I’ll teach you how to make the best of Sexy Time for Singles, how to love yourself, and how to have fun through this time.

In no time, you’ll take my advice to use for your own Sexy Time for Singles.

My tips for Sexy Time for Singles will surely enlighten you on how to create a more adventurous and pleasure-focused sex life for you and your romantic partner(s)!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to have celebrate Sexy Time for Singles!

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

Say hi on social:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thesexhealer

Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer

ClickToTweet: https://ctt.ac/Ud3aa

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


healing trauma

Is Healing Trauma Possible? A New Normal in the Age of COVID

Is Healing Trauma Possible? A New Normal in the Age of COVID

 

COVID-19 has taken the world by storm creating a system of stress, chaos, and trauma. 

As mental health professionals, our goal is to help our clients in healing trauma, yet what happens when there is systemic trauma? 

Many are wondering how we are going to heal from this trauma, and how will we recover as individuals, families, relationships, communities, as a nation, and as a world?

I have discussed systemic trauma in terms of oppression of marginalized populations, yet this pandemic is causing waves of trauma reverberating throughout the world. 

healing trauma

To be clear, marginalized populations have been hit hardest in terms of this pandemic. According to data from the State of Connecticut online, COVID-19 infection rate for the black population and the hispanic population is double the infection rate for the white population.

Yet the resources are still not going to the vulnerable communities. 

Loved ones are not seeing one another, people are isolated, people are dying, people are living in fear. It is CLEAR that the broader system has been impacted.

The level of uncertainty in the world around us can become overwhelming.

As a mental health professional, I see so many around me personally and professionally struggling in the face of this pandemic and they all seem to want to begin healing the trauma, even though we are in it. 

As families are trying to create a new “normal” in the face of this global, systemic trauma, some families are planning funerals. 

 

Healing Trauma

Unfortunately, we do not know the long term effects of this on individuals, communities, and broader systems. 

What we do know is that these impacts will be great and we will need more support… probably emotionally, intellectually, somatically, and specifically around healing trauma. 

The veil has been lifted in our communities, our political system, and the world. 

Now as a community, we urge those that can to work together to create a world that is better than when this began. 

 

What can you do to help, if you are able? 

  • Begin to notice your privilege. 
    • Not everyone has the same resources or safety that you do. 
    • Some people cannot afford food. 
    • When you say “we are all going to be fine,” realize that that isn’t true for everyone. We have seen countless lives already impacted in mental health. 
  • Realize that you impact others 
  • Take care of yourself - shower, feed yourself, socially distance, etc.
  • Sew some masks for people that you know are struggling with supplies. 
  • Cook meals for those who are in need. 

 

We cannot unsee the atrocities and lives lost. 

We cannot unsee how marginalized communities were hit harder than privileged communities.

We cannot unsee the value of mental health, the value of health care, the value of our communities.

My hope is that we can come together as a community, and work towards healing trauma together to address what we know more than ever to be true… Can we create a new normal together?

At Life Coaching and Therapy, LLC we are ready to collaborate with you!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Couples Therapy Exercises

Couples Therapy Exercises

Couples Therapy Exercises

 

No relationship stays the same and that is why couples therapy exercises are so important. 

It starts as one thing and evolves into another. That’s a good thing! 

You shouldn’t want to live a static life. It’s unrealistic and leaves little room for growth.

The whole point of a relationship is to see whether it can make you better. A better lover, friend, and human. 

Ideally, you choose someone that will both challenge and support you as you grow. 

Ideally, you grow together into something stronger than what you started as. This isn’t always the case though, hence couples therapy exercises are often desired! 

Relationships grow and sometimes end. 

At some point, both or one of you may realize it’s run its course. There’s no point going forward.

A lot of times that decision is crystal clear, and other times it’s not. Maybe you’ve got a lot invested in the relationship like kids or too much history to walk away from easily. Other times, you still deeply love your partner and want to see if it can work despite all of the hard times.

Wherever you fall on the spectrum, you need to realize that the key to working through relationship difficulties lies with the both of you. There’s no magic pill. It takes hard work and changing the way you communicate and show love.

After all, isn’t that what it’s all about? Hopefully, by now you know that most hard things are worth the effort. The more you put in, the more you’ll get out.

A relationship expert and therapist can offer unique insight into the ways you communicate. We can help you identify patterns of behavior that may be holding the two of you back. Typically, we give couples some exercises to help overcome challenges in the way they talk to and treat each other. Here are some basic exercises you can try in your relationship.

 

Reflective Listening

If you look critically at your communication pattern, you may notice that you’re quick to talk and slow to listen. It can be hard to take this feedback, which is why so many couples find more success in sessions with a therapist.

Couples Therapy Exercises

When things get heated, we become so married to our point of view that we’re eager to make that the narrative in the relationship. We don’t want to cede ground. Even if you’re not speaking while your partner is talking, you’re may simply be planning what point or argument to make next.

Reflective reasoning is an effective method that both communicates that you hear and understand your partner, and helps you take in whatever message they’re giving you.

A good example of this is when, after listening to your spouse or partner say something, you say something to the effect of, “What I think I hear you saying is that part of you ____ and part of you ____. Is that close?”

You’re reflecting the message your partner is communicating. If you reflect it and your partner still doesn’t feel you understand, then you’ve identified an area you can work on.

Reflective listening requires patience as you iron our ruffles in the way you project and receive messages from one another.

 

RIGHT Intentions

Aligning your intentions is critical to relationship success. Unfortunately, too many couples get stuck in patterns of abuse and resentment that they lose sight they should be acting the best interests of their partner!

Sometimes hurt feelings can cause you to lash out, withhold love, or even actively sabotage your partner. Under these conditions, it’s hard to see any success on the horizon.

To right the ship, you have to adjust your intentions to the positive. If you want something to improve, don’t blame, and instead give clear simple, and actionable options for your partner.

This is easier than it sounds, especially if things have been bad for a while. Start small and grow from there.

 

RIGHT Tone

Have you ever heard your partner say something to you and knew they meant something different? If you’ve been together long enough, you’re attuned to their subtle cues. Not everything needs to be verbalized.

Most couples are surprised when they hear how their tone is interpreted. It might even be worthwhile for you to record some of your conversations, so you can listen back to the way you sound and how your partner may interpret your tone.

To help things get better in your relationship, shift your tone to a more positive one. Focus on speaking without judgment in a calm matter. This helps communication become more effective when things are rough. It removes some of the heat of passion and emotions like anger from your talks.

 

Thinking About Consent

Every relationship, at every stage, has a power dynamic. Even couples who don’t like to admit it experience this. That’s not to say power dynamics are static. They shift and morph as you do.

Couples Therapy Exercises

Many couples start with one partner taking a lead role in sex, where you live, what car you buy, and a million other decisions. Years down the road, the other partner may develop a desire to be more active in decision making and take on more of a leadership role. That’s fine and natural.

Relationships run into trouble when one partner is unhappy with the power dynamic and the other refuses to compromise. Essentially, the rigid partner is stifling the other’s growth. Now, they may be doing that because they feel like the growth will adversely affect them, and that’s fine. Just know that your willingness to let power dynamics mature will impact the long-term prospects of your relationships.

The best way to ensure successful relationship dynamics is by creating a system whereby consent can be given and received easily.

Each partner should be able to quickly discover whether their partner is along for the ride. Whether it’s with sex, the finances, social decisions, or careers.

You should think about scheduling regular check-ins to discuss consent or even create relationship “safewords” that each of you can use to trigger your partner into knowing something’s not right and the two of you should talk.

These are just some of the many strategies a relationship counselor can work with you on as you progress and grow in your relationship. There’s always more to learn and that’s the point.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

LCAT provides video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.


Female Masturbation - Owning Pleasure with Virtual Erotic Recess

Female Masturbation - Owning Pleasure with Virtual Erotic Recess

 

In November 2019, I wrote about my first time attending Betty Dodson’s Bodysex weekend - a weekend centered on female masturbation. 

Can you imagine female masturbation occurring online for pleasure, instead of for pornography? 

Coronavirus created a space where that was possible! Globally! 

 

Then Coronavirus Hit

It’s been months since my Bodysex experience, and naturally, I was aching for more; yet Betty and Carlin’s BodySex was sold out the Goop episode, BodySex 2020 would be sold out… 

All of their workshops are done in person. 

The effect of showing your genitals and orgasming in front of people you just met is incredibly delicious and empowering; so much so that most attendees report it to be “life changing.” 

Coronavirus threw a wrench into the plans of pleasure though. 

All of BodySex workshops were canceled to meet social distancing requirements. As I would imagine Betty and Carlin must have been bummed. However, within a couple weeks, the news came forward that Erotic Recess would be moving forward… on Zoom!

Yes, you read that right. Female masturbation for pleasure on Zoom. 

We would be part of piloting a new program of sexual pleasure from our own homes. 

Imagine a bunch of women on the same screen - totally nude - exploring and celebrating their own body together! 

I was intrigued to be a part of seeing if this experiment would “work” in the pandemic. 

Would the virtual Erotic Recess seminar hold a candle to the in-person BodySex that included female masturbation?

 

How Did It Go? 

Being a part of a virtual seminar is obviously different from meeting in person. 

Sitting in a circle with attendees facilitates a natural interaction and conversation flow. 

You take turns by… going around the circle. 

It’s also easier to read people’s moods when you can feel their energy up close.

Still, I was just excited that technology has enabled us to do this! 

After all, even in the face of a pandemic, pleasure must go on...

We started with a bit of boundary setting to begin! 

That happens in every seminar anyway, and it’s especially important over webcams. 

Carlin held a sacred space and was clear about no penises in the circle!

 

Female Masturbation For Global Healing

Erotic Recess leaves no room for avoidance or shame. 

We embrace our bodies, own our pleasure, and celebrate our vulvas for the incredible gift they are! As the workshop progressed, we talked about orgasms and masturbated in front of our computers, focused totally on pleasure and the solidarity of connection. 

It was great seeing how so many women experience and approach orgasm so differently. All of us better understand that there is no “right” way to be in pleasure. All of us realize that there is no “one” camera angle that works for all adult female bodies and movement abilities. 

 

My Virtual Female Masturbation Takeaways

Here are some of my main takeaways:

  • Ownership is SO important - During the workshop, attendees are discouraged as much as possible from talking about how others have affected their sexuality. The emphasis is on owning your eroticism. You get to decide that you deserve pleasure and bask in its glory!
  • The Right Tool Helps - millions of women will celebrate Betty Dodson for the rest of their lives to thank her for making the vibrator mainstream. Due to Carlin Ross and the future of BodySex, the pleasure continues… virtually! 
  • Sex tools are a godsend for women, particularly those who struggle to orgasm. My husband recently bought me the Le Wand Feel My Power Special Edition. 
  • I have to say, along with lubing up and Betty’s Barbell, it works wonders! 
  • Strategize with different toys and options until you find the one for you.
  • Once again... pleasure is gorgeous and healing! I have seen thousands of nude bodies at this point, and I just want to say that during female masturbation, most bodies have similar responses, and have sounds of joy.  Instead of shaming self-touch, celebrate it. This process works if you work it.

 

Virtual Erotic Recess Works

In the end, even Coronavirus could not stop our pleasure.

The 16+ women who have shared their screens alongside me have adapted to our new reality, and it didn’t dampen the experience. Each of us came away refreshed and excited to feel more pleasure and be free with our bodies. As Betty always says, “Better orgasms, better world”.

I am so grateful that I get to do this for a living! Erotic Recess is a wonderful reminder to me of how impactful sex therapy is and how many women can change their lives, not just with intimacy, through this process. It’s an incredible experience and I’m moved every time to be a part of it.

If you’re interested in Betty Dodson seminars like Bodysex, check them out now! You’ll be glad you gave it a try.

As some of you may know, pleasure is healing and female masturbation is often the key to unleash the power within. 

We grow through pain and pleasure, usually when we are uncomfortable. 

During this time of a global pandemic, we use female masturbation and self-pleasure during the sexual stimulation process to increase the feel-good hormones in your body! 

Whether or not you reach the release of orgasm, the bodily function that sometimes occurs during sexual interaction, isn’t the goal. The purpose is to connect with you. 

Follow the advice of Dr. Betty Dodson, the Queen of Female Masturbation, by checking out her NYT article. 

Female masturbationYou Are Your Safest Sex Partner: Betty Dodson Wants to Help

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

LCAT provides video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


putting your family first

PUTTING YOUR FAMILY FIRST! Thanks to COVD19

PUTTING YOUR FAMILY FIRST!

Thanks to COVD19

 

So you want to learn to start putting your family first?

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of putting family first!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to start putting family first, ways to get through the pandemic, and how to remind yourself to continue doing this, even if you are feeling depleted.

In no time, you’ll take my advice to use for putting your family first, and hopefully yourself and a partner!

My tips for putting family first will surely enlighten you on how to create a different feeling in your house!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to start putting family first!

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

Say hi on social:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thesexhealer

Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


coming out

Coming Out is Not Just One and Done

Coming Out is Not Just One and Done

 

Coming out is a complicated process within the LGBTQ/queer community. Coming out is when someone within the queer community discloses their identity to others. These experiences can be complicated for a variety of different reasons. 

Coming out can be complicated for people due to an internalized process known as internalized queerphobia which is an individual internalizing the messages (covert or overt) from their culture, community, family, and friends around queer identities. Generally speaking, the dominant cultural narrative is not one of overt support of queer identities. 

A common misconception around coming out is that you do it once or twice and then it’s over. That is DEFINITELY not the case. As a queer person, coming out happens often and is a process that continues throughout your life. Everytime you meet someone or have a new stage happen in your life or your relationship it creates another opportunity to come out.

 

What Does that Look Like?

Just like in our brains we replay what we do not heal from our childhoods, the same things show up in the coming out experience. If you initially have a difficult coming out experience or have lived in a community that does not support the LGBTQ+ community this will likely come out at each major juncture or time you have to come out.

News flash: our community and culture has only recently been remotely inclusive so most queer people have underlying messages and meanings that have been created as a result. These underlying messages or meanings that are created begin to impact the way queer people think and see themselves consciously or unconciously (internalized queerphobia). 

 

Wait… what?

So basically what I am saying (from my experience in the field) is that when queer people come out on a day to day and then in large moments of their life it activitates those pathways created around internalized queerphobia from the course of their coming out experience. 

When you are going through a new stage in your life or having to come out again and again, the pathways from the original experiences you have around coming out or around disclosing a vulnerable identity are likely to reactivate. 

Example time. So often times during the initial coming out people can be rejected by people and/or they may also have their boundaries violated. Ask most queer people and they will tell you 100000 inappropriate questions that they were asked when they came out (who’s the man/woman? Who’s baby is it? Who’s on top? What do you even do? What parts do you have? The list goes on and on).

Yes. People do ask these things. So when a queer person begins to move towards a new stage of your life or begin to engage witih a new community… these boundary violations happen again. This often triggers experiences similar to when this has happened before. If you have had a particularly challenging coming out experience (rejection, abandonment, shaming, violation of boundaries, dismissal of identity) and this has not been processed through, this can all erupt again for you. 

 

Coming out and Trauma

Often in my practice, I see clients have some level of regression each time they take these steps. These steps can be something minor like coming out to someone from their past to marriage, to having children, to losing someone, etc. The regression can show up in a variety of different ways like increased anxiety, irritability, or more extreme through reacting in trauma (the flight, fight, freeze, or fawn response). 

In many, coming out has been traumatic to varying degrees whether it is their coming out or the coming out process of their partner(s).

coming out

I believe this to be because it activates their internalized queerphobia (unconscious process) and any remaining struggles that they experienced during their coming out (conscious process). This can happen to varying degrees depending on the significance of the internalized queerphobia or the un-healed parts during their coming out. When people are responding from a place of trauma, they are often unaware of the impact they have on themselves or those around them. 

This may seem really confusing, I totally feel and hear that. What I am trying to encourage people to consider is the long term impact of how internalized queerphobia and the ongoing coming out process impact queer people’s quality of life over the course of their life. There is not enough awareness of this impact across the world or an understanding of ways to support the queer community in a real way. 

 

Prevention: A Call for Community Healing

This is the systemic impact of being a marginalized community, the multitude of layers of complexity that can be created is a crap storm for individuals and those around them. Working together to heal ourselves, our cultural beliefs, and supporting those around us can help lessen the blow to the queer community and those they love.

Prevention would be the best medicine. That would require a systemic change in the way we as a community, see, support, and engage with the queer community. It would be creating a culture of inclusivity, support, learning, and access. Prevention requires the community to do things differently. We have ample evidence (through multiple marginalized communities) that this system doesn’t work.  “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


couple sex

Essential Rules for Couples Sex – 10 Things You’re Allowed to Say During Sex!

Essential Rules for Couples Sex – 10 Things You’re Allowed to Say During Sex!

 

Couples don’t start sex therapy because everything’s great. There’s usually some issue where they’re at an impasse. It’s something that, for whatever reason, they just can’t work their way through.

If you’re having intimacy issues in a committed relationship, you’ve probably been through the wringer a time or two. Whether it’s imbalances in sex drive, different levels of comfort with sexual exploration, or some other underlying issue, disagreements over sex are tough!

There’s so much tied up in the way we make love. Knowingly or unwittingly, you’re bringing your background, your trauma, and anything else that’s molded your sexuality into the bedroom with your partner.

We have to remember that sex is fun and it’s also complicated. It’s a way you can fill your own needs and the needs of your partner. When sex is great, it’s extremely fulfilling. When it’s not, it can be scarring.

Sometimes we lose sight of our boundaries in the pursuit of pleasing our partners. Each of us has to do what it takes to make sure sex stays fun, engaging, and positive. Here are some things you need to remember that you’re allowed to say and feel.

Couple sex

  1. Can We Slow Down?

There’s hot sex and there’s slow sex. Sex can be kinky, and it can also be romantic. Sometimes it’s fast and sometimes it’s slow. You always have the right to tell your partner to slow down. That’s critical when you’re trying something new like BDSM or roleplaying. Go at your own pace! It’s ok if you don’t want to go from 0-100 on the first try. Find a speed you feel good with.

 

  1. I Like That

I meet with so many people that have a hard time explaining what they like. If you ask them, they’re great at saying, “Well, I know I don’t like it when he touches me here or when she does that.” One of the best things you can do for your sexual enjoyment is taking control of what turns you on. If necessary, spend some alone time masturbating so you can get to know your body better. Once you know, make sure you clue your partner in as well!

 

  1. I Don’t Like That and I Would Rather ____

There’s a compromise in sex, and both you and your partner should work together to find a happy medium where you’re both getting the sex and sense of adventure you crave while also keeping each other safe. Verbalize with your partner any time you feel uncomfortable with a sex act or situation. You’re an even part of what’s happening!

couple sex

  1. I Feel Nervous

Many of us hold anxious feelings inside because we’re afraid it might spook our partner or make it into a big deal. Your partner will probably be happy if you reveal you’re nervous. A good partner wants sex to be amazing for both of you, not just them. If they know you’re nervous they can be more attentive to how you’re feeling and do more to make sex a positive experience.

It will also help with pacing. When you start a sexual relationship with someone, it’s all about progression. Hopefully, the way you have sex in later months and years will be much different than the first time. You’ll be more comfortable about experimenting and pushing the boundaries of your sexuality. For that to happen you need a solid foundation on which you both feel comfortable as you move forward.

 

  1. I Feel Complete. I Would Like to Be Done

Ego comes to play when you have sex. Some people are driven by self-pleasure and others crave the pleasure of others. If you’re with a partner that’s a giver or a pleaser, you need to be firm about when you’ve had enough. That can happen with positive feedback you give your partner, telling them how great they are at oral sex or how amazing your orgasm was.

It can also mean giving your partner clear signals that you’re through. As always, it’s vital you feel safe when you have sex. You’re not there solely for the enjoyment of your partner. It’s only part of the equation.

 

  1. I am Thirsty/Hungry, Can We Take a Break?

Have you ever been with someone who loves marathon sex sessions? You’re French kissing and making love for hours. You may have read about tantric sex and how delaying orgasms can accentuate eventual pleasure.

Still, everyone has a limit. Make sure you don’t cross yours. Don’t let your partner make you feel guilty about needing a break during sex. A break can often increase tension and result in better orgasms!

 

  1. I Would Like to Use More Lube

For whatever reason, many of you may feel embarrassed about asking for more lube. 

For me personally, I don’t recommend any sex without it!

The stigma around lube is something most people deal with at some point. 

Your partner may become insecure and take your asking for lube as an affront. 

“What, I don’t turn you on enough to keep you lubricated?” is something I commonly hear.

First of all, those kinds of partners need to do a bit more learning about body fluids

Secondly, please do not let embarrassment or anxiety about someone’s actions keep you from staying healthy and comfortable during sex. Lube makes it way more pleasurable for the sensitive skin of the body!

 

  1. This is Fun!

couple sex

That’s right, give yourself the right to have fun! Repeat after me, “Sex is supposed to be fun!” 

Do whatever it takes to remove feelings of obligation, shame, abuse, or any other negative motivator.

Tell yourself that sex is fun. Reinforce the idea of what it should be. Don’t forget to tell your partner, too. They need to hear it sometimes as well.

 

  1. Is This Meeting Your Needs?

Resist the urge to become so self-involved in your sexual growth that you leave your partner behind. Check-in on them regularly. Solicit feedback so you know what they’re feeling. Ask them if they’d like to try something new and follow up afterward to talk about how it went. You’ll be happier when your partner is digging sex as much as you are.

 

  1. How Can We Find the Win-Win for Our Time Together?

Don’t forget, you’re in this together. Your sex can only climb as high as your partner is going to let it. Lift each other. Push each other up with positive reinforcement and transparency. When you strip away all the distractions that get caught up in sex, you’ll find a deeper connection. Sex will feel incredible and you’ll get extra comfort out of getting there with someone you love.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


online couple counseling

Therapy on Retainer Vs. Onsite Couples Work

Therapy on Retainer Vs. Onsite Couples Work

 

For decades, therapy has been conducted on comfortable rooms on couches with pillows and soothing colors to help you relax. Face-to-face therapy works. It’s helped millions of people overcome significant roadblocks to their happiness and fulfillment.

As therapists, we rely on personal sessions immensely. We do our best to read body language, facial expressions, mood, and other non-verbal cues. Our training helps us cut through the automatic statements and responses we all speak unconsciously, which often obfuscate underlying pain or trauma.

If you’ve ever spoken to your therapist on the phone, you know it’s not the same as being there in person. Therapy done over the phone can still be good, but it’s just…different.

Meeting onsite with your therapist is always the way to go, but it’s not always possible. People are limited by financial reasons, distance, and busy work schedules that stop you from seeing your therapist as much as you’d like.

Thankfully, therapists are using technology to make it easier for you. Many clients hire therapists on retainer for shorter, more regular interactions that supplement face-to-face sessions.

Online couple counseling 

Onsite Couples Counseling 

Some couples I see are so far down a path that they can’t even see where they began anymore. The way we live every day becomes a habit. It can be hard to step outside of ourselves and see how we’ve created the lives we have.

When couples come in, it’s a nuanced process of removing layers. It may require working through years of resentment about imbalances in a relationship. We may have to dig a bit into what’s driving sexual inhibitions. It’s not usually easy, but therapy work for couples struggling can be extremely healing and beneficial to relationships.

We all carry baggage related to our family and place of origin. Our childhood experiences have an outsized impact on who we become. Bullying, shame, trauma and other things that happened to us when we were kids still influence who we are today. Systems and the way we process things runs deep.

Couples therapy is often emotionally intense. There’s this huge outpouring feeling, whether it be anger, love, regret, or hope. You might have some homework or things to work on with your partner or spouse until the next time you meet with your therapist.

You leave with high expectations and then life gets in the way. It might be a week, two, or even longer until you see your therapist again. Unless you’re taking copious notes, it’s hard to remember all the things that worked as well as the issues you want to bring up in the next session. It’s one of the main limitations of in-person therapy.

 

Is Online Couples Counseling for You? Get a Therapist on Retainer!

Online couples counseling, which I like to call “therapy on retainer” is an option many therapists at Life Coaching and Therapy offer today.

Essentially, online couples counseling gives you more regular access to your therapist, though your interactions will be shorter and done over text or phone.

It’s not a replacement for ongoing face-to-face counseling. It most likely is not covered by insurance.

However, just like using “FaceTime” and other video technology helped make therapy better, therapy on retainer uses texting, email, and phone to supplement ongoing counseling.

Here are some of the main benefits of therapy on retainer and why you should consider it:

 

Ongoing Contact

 

The bottom line is you get more access to your therapist. It’s not deep access, but for people who need more follow-up, it’s a great benefit. For example, if you and your spouse get into an argument or are “stuck”, you can reach out to your therapist for help.

Likewise, you can celebrate successes as they happen instead of waiting a week or longer to go over it with your therapist. This can help reinforce positive behavior and communication that will help make it a habit faster.

In emergencies or times of crisis, it’s also a huge comfort to know you can talk to your therapist and get counseling without having to schedule an appointment or leave work.

 

It Works for Couples

Getting into your therapist by yourself can be difficult. Juggling work, school, kids, dinner, and whatever else is on your plate is hard! With your spouse or partner, it’s even more challenging.

Using online couples counseling or therapy on retainer makes it easier for you and your partner to engage with your therapist regularly. You can conference call or group text, so everyone’s opinion is shared and heard. There’s no repeating or going over what you said in your last session if your partner couldn’t make it.

With texting and other forms of communication, both partners can chime in on what works and what needs to be addressed when you’re all physically together again. It helps remove nuance that so often gets in the way.

online couples therapy 

Regular Follow Up Creates Daily Habits

The more follow up you build into your life, the better. As therapists, we do our bests to create personalized plans to help you become what you want or deal with the things that are holding you back.

When follow up happens on a weekly or biweekly basis in counseling sessions, that’s great! When it can be done daily, that’s even better.

We are all creatures of habit. The things we do well and don’t do so well, over time, become habits. With therapy on retainer, there can be small interactions throughout the week that keep you on your game. You can course-correct as you come across issues as they arise.

 

Try a Mix and Stick with What Works

Trying therapy on retainer is an excellent add-on to traditional counseling. If you’ve never done it before, talk to your therapist about whether they offer it as an option. It could be the more regular connection you need to see real improvement in intimacy, communication, or whatever else you’re working on.

A good therapist will use the more regular dialogue to help you form behaviors that help you accomplish your goals. They’ll also be there in times of need. Reaction to a text or call my not be immediate if they’re meeting with someone else but knowing you don’t have to wait a week or more to speak to your therapist is a great comfort.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


420 sex

420 Sex - Cannabis and Sexual Satisfaction

420 Sex - Cannabis and Sexual Satisfaction

 

Welcome back to my channel and in this video, I am going to talk about a very famous topic. The well-known 420 Sex!

Does cannabis lead to better sexual satisfaction?

What do YOU think about the 420 sex? Have you tried it?

Let's jump right in!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

Do NOT forget to download it!

GET THE BEDROOM NEGOTIATIONS VANILLA & KINK CHECKLIST!

https://qrzbdtau.pages.infusionsoft.net  ←HERE

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

Watch more:

 

Say hi on social:

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Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Microaggressions In Our Society

Microaggressions In Our Society

 

Alright Folks, we need to talk about microaggressions because they are everywhere! 

Microaggressions are statements (verbal or non-verbal) that are common in everyday life. 

They can come off as insensitive comments that are “well-intentioned” or unintentionally passive-aggressive, oblivious, or naive and harm a group of people. 

Microaggressions can be based in gender, age, body size, race, culture/ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religion, ability, etc.  They communicate a negative message or meaning towards a particular group.

 

Examples of Microaggressions: 

  • Saying to a black man… “you speak really well” or “you are really smart” (playing into the stereotype that black people speak improperly or are not intelligent)
  • A cis, het human saying to a queer person “you are too pretty to be gay.” 
  • A person without disabilities speaking louder and slower to someone in a wheelchair… The implication is that because this person has a disability, they must not be intelligent or able to hear.
  • Saying to a larger-bodied individual “wow, you are in really good shape and can move quickly” because the assumption is large bodies are not “in shape.” 
  • A patient at the hospital, speaking to a female, and requesting a doctor when they are being attended to by a female doctor. (The patient often does not realize that she is a doctor because the assumption that women are not doctors)

microaggressions

 

Implications

We all make mistakes and fall into taking on messages from the dominant culture. 

AND that does not give us the excuse to not examine our words and actions. 

It also does not give us the right to check our own privilege and biases! At LCAT, we try to do this daily. 

Microaggressions show each of us which messages we have internalized, and they provide information on what we need to examine and shift. It is not advised to use this as a style of communication

It is not a strategy that creates connection, contribution, growth, and/or significance. 

migroaggressions

Do better!

We need to be mindful of the messages we are receiving and giving. 

It does not matter if you were “well-intentioned” if your impact was not consensual.  

If you want to change, then you have to do “the work.” 

When you have the knowledge, do you believe it is your responsibility to alter your behaviors and actions to reflect that knowledge? 

Let us know in the comments! 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.