Grapefruit Technique

The Grapefruit Technique

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The Grapefruit Technique

 

Have you heard of The Grapefruit Technique in Bed?

Maybe it has been a while since you’ve been a little freaky, and you have a feeling that your partner feels things are a bit stale in your sexual techniques lately?

We all fall into sexual doldrums from time to time. Work, family, or just life, in general, gets to us. 

We feel like we can barely make it into bed much less put on a show.

You don’t have to go wild in bed every time you have sex. 

Sometimes though, you need to do something new to juice up the sex life a bit… so: the grapefruit technique.

I meet with people all the time that want more out of sex, and they don’t know where to start. 

Well, this blog is for the adventurer in you. 

This is a quick guide to something called the grapefruit technique, brought to us by Angel, otherwise known as the “Grapefruit Lady.” If your partner’s got a penis, this is something fun that is sure to blow their mind.

 

The Setup

Anytime old friends get together, they talk about sex. How much they’re getting, if it’s good, what they wish would happen, who’s the hottest, what’s the craziest thing they’ve done, and anything else you can think of. Don’t believe whatever your partner tells you. If they’re hanging around friends, sex is on the table.

One of the time-tested sex topics is a preference between oral sex and intercourse. What feels better, getting head or getting inside?

What if you could find a way to make it feel like you’re doing both at the same time? With the grapefruit technique, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

First, you’re going to need a grapefruit. Oh, you thought this was just a name for something else? No, you need an actual grapefruit.Grapefruit Technique

Now, if your partner is allergic to grapefruit for any reason, skip it and buy a large orange or something comparable.

Cut a hole in the middle of the grapefruit that’s approximately the size of your partner’s penis. Again, you should have a good idea of how big they are. This isn’t exactly something you want to bust out on the first night.

Just before you’re ready for sex, place the grapefruit under your bed where you can reach it. Your partner will probably think you have some scented candle burning or an oil diffuser on.

 

The Get Down

 

You must get your partner blindfolded before you bring the grapefruit out. The element of surprise is important here. Your partner may be resistant to the idea of having a grapefruit rubbed all over their penis, so get the blindfold on them and lay them down.

Trust me, practically no partner will ever reject the idea of being blindfolded by their lover. If you haven’t tried it yet, put it on your list immediately.

Once the blindfold is on, lay your partner on the bed and get started doing what you do. Give your best blow job intro to get them hard, then reach under the bed and pull out the grapefruit.

Slide it over their penis and move it up and down with your hand in sync with your mouth. Your partner’s not going to believe what they’re feeling. How can they be getting an incredible blowjob and feel like they’re inside of you at the same time?

After you’ve been going for a while, feel free to take the blindfold off to give them a view of what’s happening. Now the grapefruit is going to be a pleasant surprise instead of too much to handle.

You can bet they’re going to be asking for it again soon.

There’s good news for the giver as well! Grapefruit is probably going to make giving head more fun and tastier than ever.

 

Keep It Playful

The grapefruit technique is just one example of ways you can mix it up in bed to keep your sex life interesting and fresh. Life’s too short to worry about how you’ll look or what they’ll think. Break free from prudish thinking and push the limits of your sexual boundaries.

Break out the handcuffs, buy a sexy outfit, start roleplaying, get some toys. Do whatever you think would be fun to try. Inserting flirty games into your relationship lets your partner see more of your sexual side, and they’ll feel more comfortable about expressing themselves too.

The grapefruit technique is awesome because it’s a sexual tool that’s fun and feels great. That’s a great combo. If anything, else, you can laugh at trying without taking yourself too seriously. Odds are, though, your partner is going to remember it forever. It may even be the topic of the next meet up between friends.  Your partners’ friends are going to go home begging their spouses and lovers to get to the market and buy some grapefruits.

 

Lean on Your Sex Therapist for Advice

Sex therapy is all about this type of exploration. While we do also focus on overcoming past sexual trauma and relationship issues that get in the way of sexual fulfillment, we spend a lot of time helping you become the sexual being you’re meant to be!

Talk to your therapist about fun ways to mix things up with your partner. Break out of your routine with easy steps we can provide you.

All it takes is a sense of adventure combined with our training and expertise to take you to the next level. Soon, you’ll be having the best sex of your life. The best part is that as you hand out sexual favors to your partner, you’re going to get the payback soon enough.

He’ll be thinking long and hard about how to one-up you on the grapefruit technique. Who knows what that’ll be? We’d love to find out!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

5 Fast Quarantine Sexuality Techniques to Promote Orgasm!

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5 Fast Quarantine Sexuality Techniques to Promote Orgasm!

 

Welcome back to my channel and this is a video that I am really excited about, as I am going to talk about fun techniques!

Using quarantine sexuality techniques INCREASES pleasure for all adults!

Do you need quarantine sexuality techniques?

Have you desire quarantine sexuality techniques yet do not know where to start?

This is one way and an excellent way to give yourself self care.

Whether you are single or in a relationship, quarantine sexuality techniques can be a new way to show yourself love and pleasurable sensations.

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Trauma Counseling

Trauma Counseling to Recover from People Pleasing

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Trauma Counseling to Recover from People Pleasing

 

Often in trauma counseling and emotional healing, we focus on trauma responses that occur and perpetuate throughout someone’s life. 

The three most widely acknowledged trauma responses are: fight, flight, or freeze. 

Often these responses are unconscious and automatic, and if you are interested in your own traumatic response cycle, continue to read below! 

 

Trauma Responses

Traumatic responses caused by triggers are often seen in trauma counseling. 

The fight response is when someone is activated or “triggered” and responds aggressively or in a dominating way.  Fight can look like literally getting into fight, speaking aggressively, or even be a pursuer dynamic.

Flight is where someone leaves or “runs away.” This can look like someone emotionally removing themselves, literally removing themself from the circumstance, or avoiding any of the things that remind them of said trauma.

Freeze is when someone’s body and physiological responses “shut down.” This can look like someone not being able to move, someone not being responsive, or someone completely dissociating.

These trauma responses are most noted and discussed due to the research around Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (which is historically done around large scale traumas). These responses are clear and valid responses and after often addressed in trauma counseling and therapy.

As we learn more about trauma and the impact it can have, it has become more clear that “fawning” or “placating” is another trauma response. 

This is the response of “people pleasing” or placating others to avoid conflict or further harm/trauma to appease the abuser. 

This looks like a child trying to appease a parent to avoid further harm or a partner agreeing to something that they wouldn’t otherwise agree to if not for the fear of the others. 

This also can look like someone constantly looking to others for approval. 

Each of these trauma responses is an automatic response your brain has. 

These responses are out of one’s control often and out of their own awareness. 

Through trauma counseling or therapy and emotional healing these can be addressed to find various new strategies or coping mechanisms to manage when these responses happen after the trauma.

Trauma Counseling

 

Fawning and Recovery

In my professional experience, I have seen many clients who have struggled with fawning. 

These individuals require frequent validation, often avoid conflict, and often work to please/appease others around them to their own detriment. 

Like all trauma responses, this is an automatic process which can then create subconscious patterns in people’s lives where people continue this response into a strategy in their relationships. 

This strategy relates to clients engaging in this behavior across contexts and relationships. Often I work with couples where there is a level of codependency in the relationship where one or both partners engage in this dynamic, creating a difficult dynamic within the relationship. 

Whether individual or within a relationship, creating recovery around people pleasing is hard because of its origins. 

In my professional experience, it requires revisiting the origins of this pattern and how this strategy met the needs you had at the time. 

Being able to recognize that this strategy is no longer useful is necessary to work with your therapist to find new strategies to get your needs met. 

Another important piece of this is to recognize ways to feel safe. 

Recognizing that people who experience trauma do not feel safe, and remind yourself that finding safety is important. Safety can be emotional, physical, relational, and environmental. 

Depending on your experience, finding safety can be a necessity. 

There are so many things that can be useful to “people pleaser’s” in their recovery that the list can go on and on. 

The best advice I can give as a therapist is to find a therapist who you can trust and work through this with. 

That includes if you are in a relationship because whether you recognize it or not, your relationship(s) have been impacted by these experiences. 

Look for someone who specializes in trauma therapy, trauma work, or trauma counseling, these are the first steps towards emotional healing. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out LCAT’s Owner’s YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Sexy Time

Sexy Time

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Sexy Time

 

Odds are you still think about that one sexy time with that one person from time to time. Maybe it was a college hookup or could have been a serious relationship a long time ago. For whatever reason, they just knew how to get it done.

They could touch you, tease you, and feel you in all the right ways. Something about it was so intense, primal even, that it’s a bit like chasing the dragon trying to get sex to that level again.

What’s funny is those intense sexual experiences we find ourselves daydreaming about are often far from our current reality. When you’re in a stable, long-term relationship, even sex becomes routine. That’s not to say we won’t take it. All consensual sex is good sex, right? Well, there’s good sex, and then there’s GREAT sex.

Here are some easy ways you can get more of what you want from sexy time.

 

Leave Your Assumptions Out the Door

I talk to so many people who are frustrated with their sexual partners. They complain that they can’t find people who know what they’re doing in bed or how to please them. Sex is filled with a lot of “You’re close” and “not quite!”.

Starting from scratch can be hard to do with every partner, especially if you’re coming off a relationship or being with a partner with amazing sexual chemistry. What you shouldn’t do, though, is assume every person has the same experience.

Be verbal before, during, and after sex! Tell your partner what you want and how to do it. Use a guiding hand if you have to show them how it’s done. Their feelings aren’t going to be hurt. They’ll probably be ecstatic.

Imagine if every intimate partner you have lays out exactly how to give them mind-blowing orgasms. Wouldn’t you be stoked to try?

Don’t assume your partner knows how to go down on a woman or give a great blowjob. Tell them what works for you and ask what they like in return.

Sexy Time

 

Avoid Negative Triggers During Sex

Sex sometimes requires difficult discussions. When you’re committed to someone who has a different sex drive or has more or less experienced, it takes adjustment. The last thing you want to do is spring something on them unexpectedly right in the middle of sex.

If you want to try, for instance, anal sex and your partner is apprehensive, discuss experimenting before you give it a shot. See if there’s anything you can do to make things easier for them.

Triggering negative reactions in the middle of sex can tie a bad experience to lovemaking, something no one wants. Keep things positive while you’re in the groove and hold the feedback for another time.

 

Engage in Some Self Experimentation

Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. I talk to so many people who struggle to verbalize what they like and don’t like with sex. It’s almost as if their life depended on it, they wouldn’t be able to tell you what feels good.

Certainly, for many people being comfortable with your sexuality is a mixed basket full of past experiences, religious backgrounds, and upbringing. Your exposure to sex will also affect how you feel.

The best thing for this is some self-exploration. If you can’t point to or talk about where your “on” buttons are, then do some searching. Masturbation is a great stress reliever in general. It’ll also help take any pressure or anxiety you feel when your partner is trying to help get you off.

 

Own It

If you’re feeling like you’re in a sexual rut, you’ve got to take more charge of your sex life. Own what happens in those sheets! Move around, take charge, pull out some handcuffs. Do something that will mix things up and make them more exciting.

Don’t wait for your partner to take the lead every time you have sex. Let your dominant side free every once in a while. Tell them where to go and what to do. Break up the routine a bit. It doesn’t have to be every time, but a little effort is a great reminder that you’ve still go it and things don’t have to be lame.

Sexy Time

 

Everybody Loves a Bit of Dirty Talk

Yes, you heard me. Sounds so silly though, right? No, it doesn’t. Dirty talk only sounds ridiculous until you try it. Trust me, it might feel weird the first time you whisper “Give it to me harder…” into your partner’s ear as their thrusting on top of you, however, you’re going to love how stimulating it is when they’re asking, “You like that?” when they’re pulling your hair from behind.

Talking dirty takes some getting used to. Once the cat’s out of the bag, though, sexy time is never going to be the same. Sex becomes more playful, and about more than just the physical act. You get to add a bit more personality and rev the intensity up.

 

The Personal Pep Talk

All of us deal with some level of insecurity tied to sex. We all have a bit of flab here or a dimple there we wish we didn’t have. Maybe it’s been a while since we’ve had sex and we feel like we’re out of practice.

Understand that everyone carries a bit of baggage into the bedroom. The people that enjoy sex most are usually those who can toss the baggage aside for half an hour or so and experience some pure pleasure.

Try giving yourself a sex pep talk before things heat up. Sneak into the bathroom if you have to and look yourself in the mirror. Relax your shoulders, breathe a bit, and get over yourself. Laugh at how nervous you are and tell yourself it’s just sex. It’s how adults have fun. And get out there and have some fun!

Sex is too great a gift to be boring or mundane. Juice things up, have fun, and get a little kinky. You’ll never regret it and, trust us, neither will your partner.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Sex Technique Video

Sex Technique Videos

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Sex Technique Videos

 

Have you ever watched porn and thought, I wish a profession could just make a sex technique videos?

I had this thought back before I learned anything about human sexuality. 

A sex technique videos is GREAT for adults who love to learn visually! 

  • To make sustainable changes in patterns of connection. 
  • To increase awareness about intimate pleasure and sensual wellness. 
  • To develop habits that support sexual and / or relational goals.
  • To become more adventurous while embracing change in intimacy menu.
  • To feel more connected and free, instead of reactive or ignored.

Stimulate your senses with a new type of sensation – using sex therapy techniques like tantra or kink! 

Be sure to go to my youtube channel, TheSexHealer, and subscribe and hit the bell for free weekly content on improving your erotic life. 

I love to make videos because therapy is expensive, and sometimes people only need little tricks. 

Not everyone needs intensive therapy, so these videos create access to services some people may not have been able to afford. 

Each video takes about 8 hours or so to make. Thousands of messages between our entire team go back and forth from week to week as we make just one video. 

If the audio or video is off, I get bummed out, yet I realize that having the knowledge is what matters most. This is why I have dedicated myself to make a weekly video, even during COVID19 closures. 

You cannot learn solely from a sex technique videos – you have to try and do the exercises suggested FOR YOURSELF! 

To help you get started, we have put together a quick videos for couples: 

 

How to be good in bed!

Benefits: Set the scene, and show up ready, even if you are anxious! How to spice up your routine if you have been together for a while! Learn ways to “hack” the bedtime boredom by using these ideas to help you relax and center your mind and body.

 

How to Make a BDSM Video

For those who want to make their own form of pornography, this will show you the most important things to consider! Forget fighting with your partner and start planning a video! 

Consider trading your “usual” pleasure routine for something more curious… something more erotically challenging.

 

Edging! 

Benefits: Did you ever want to improve your stamina and sense of pleasure in bed? Edging is one technique to do this that MOST people report as fun and simple! It’s low risk and high reward! 

 

Video on Breathing 

Benefits: Better breath control improves blood flow and oxygenation that results in a more relaxed, stimulating sexual experience.

 

Female Anatomy 

Benefits: Condenses a decade of knowledge into one video! For those of you struggling with not understanding how to pleasure a vagina… it’s probably because you don’t know enough about the entire anatomy of pleasure for a woman. This video quickly teaches you how to become a sexpert! 

 

My most popular videos:

How to Get Over Male Sexual Performance Anxiety

Couples Having Sex During The Quarantine

Pleasuring a Woman: What You Should Know Before Having Sex

Thank you for checking these out, and be sure to subscribe for more free and weekly sex technique videos! 

If you have friends or know adults that can benefit from this content, consider sending this to them to answer their intimate questions.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Sexologist Explains How to Use a S*x Toy !

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Sexologist Explains How to Use a S*x Toy !

 

*WARNING* FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH MEDICAL CONDITIONS, especially heart conditions, PLEASE ADVISE A DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING. ESPECIALLY FOR TENS UNIT TOY!

6 S*x Toy Secrets To Avoid A Bedroom Catastrophe.

Welcome back to my channel and this is a video that I am really excited about, as I am going to talk about sex toys! Using a S*x Toy INCREASES pleasure for all adults!

Do you have a s*x toy or toys?

Have you wanted to buy a s*x toy yet do not know where to start or where you put them on the body?

Sex toys are an excellent way to give yourself self care.

Whether you are single or in a relationship, a s*x toy can be a new way to show yourself love and sensations.

 

Betty Dodson Shop – Click here to buy Betty’s Barbell

https://dodsonandross.com/shop

 

GET THE BEDROOM NEGOTIATIONS VANILLA & KINK CHECKLIST!

https://qrzbdtau.pages.infusionsoft.net  ←HERE

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

Use TENS unit and other toys at your OWN discretion! This is just advice from a sexologist and CANNOT be seen as personalized advice. Play responsibly! READ THE BOX of the TENS UNIT because it CLEARLY states how to USE this toy and who should NOT use this toy. Many people CANNOT use this toy, and its ok! Those who are pregnant, have heart disease, a fever, abnormal blood pressure, and multiple other conditions ought to avoid the TENS unit!

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

couple talking

Couple Talking – The Quarantine Communication Crash Course

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Couple Talking – The Quarantine Communication Crash Course

 

It is perfectly understandable that couple talking techniques would change, because when we find ourselves in new situations, we need to come up with new ways of coping and flourishing. 

I’ve noticed in meeting with clients that some couples are finding challenges communicating effectively, and as couples spend more time together than ever, couple talking changes! You can’t expect the same results from old ways of thinking and communicating! 

Just spend a moment considering how much your work routines have changed. 

We’re all on some sort of video conferencing software, balancing parenting or caretaking, health and exercise, financial stresses, and other tasks within the boundaries of our home. 

The coronavirus pandemic has forced all of us to make fast decisions about what’s vital and what’s not. What doesn’t work fails immediately, and effective results stick.

The same goes for couple talking techniques. 

Quarantining all day has been a crash course for many of my clients on verbal and non-verbal communication with their spouse or partner. 

The more you utilize effective strategies and techniques, the faster you’ll adapt to this new reality.

Let’s look on the bright side and imagine how much better we’ll know and communicate with our partners as things transition back to “normal” life. 

You can use your time now as a petri dish to experiment with some of these expert couple talking strategies.

couple talking

Dr. Gottman on Intimate Conversation

Dr. Gottman has been helping couples build bonds and communicate effectively for decades. One of his main strategies for building trust in a relationship is related to open communication free from any hint of defensiveness.

Your partner could be hiding something from you or masking destructive behaviors because they fear your reaction. It could also be one of the reasons they react strongly to anything that resembles criticism. 

For example, that sort of thing happens a lot when a spouse attempts to talk to their partner about what they see is a pornography problem. They move to strike back quickly to discourage any more questioning.

For many of us, our first inclination when our partner has a problem or talks about something challenging is to offer solutions. We want to immediately problem-solve their way out of it. We tell ourselves that’s how we’re projecting that we care about them.

Instead, though, Gottman says that before advice must come understanding. 

Intimate communication must include couples talking  that’s free from judgment.

One of the best ways to do this is by asking your partner open-ended follow-up questions. These invite them to speak more freely and get out whatever feelings they’ve got pent up inside. The next time your partner expresses frustration, anger, or even joy, ask them to talk more about how they feel and why. You’re on your way to build a more free and open communication platform.

 

Find Healing with Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago relationship therapy focuses on building intimate connections through healing. Fear of being truly known is one of the main obstacles my clients face. Most of us naturally maintain some semblance of a distance between our true selves and those around us. It may not be as simple as we don’t trust them. Often, we feel uncomfortable thinking or discussing our past or trauma we still live with.

Sharing intimate feelings, both fears and aspirations will help you as a couple build a love that’s more connected and intimate. Easier said than done, however. To feel comfortable opening or, you and your partner have to feel safe in your relationship.

Worries, concerns, doubts, and other emotions have to be communicated in a safe environment without risk of retribution.

The best couple talking happens in safe conversations. You can discover how to create safe conversations by talking to your partner about what makes them feel unsafe. Eliminate any conditions that could trigger anxiety as you speak. Sit closely to stay physically connected. Maintain eye contact. Offer validation often as your partner shares difficult emotions.

couple talking

Couple Talk with F-A-S-T

As a therapist, I help people understand how their emotions can hijack conversations. We all must understand how our messages are conveyed, especially to our intimate partners who we care deeply about.

In many couples, there’s often one partner who feels it’s appropriate to make their feelings subordinate to their partner’s to “make things work”. They are quick to apologize to try and smooth things over and withhold their true feelings because they don’t want to rock the boat.

What these people don’t realize is that they’re setting themselves up for long-term failure. That negatively impacts their partner and also their self-worth. If you find yourself sacrificing too much for the good of the relationship, you need to reexamine things.

For example, sometimes clients struggle with different sexual desires in their relationship. The higher-desire partner can feel frustrated and that they’re giving up something incredibly important because their partner doesn’t want to have sex as much as they do. Either that or they’re into kink or want to try some roleplaying.

Telling yourself that that’s just the way things are can only last so long. Eventually, the resentment will be so strong it will lead to collapse, infidelity, or some other disruption.

The point of learning how to speak about difficult topics is to find a way to meet in the middle for a solution that’s acceptable to both parties.

I recommend the FAST method of communication as a way to stay grounded when communicating with your spouse or partner. FAST stands for:

Fairness – Remember to be fair to yourself and your partner. Avoid criticism and judgment.

Apologies – Reserve apologies for when they’re required. Don’t apologize for feeling a certain way or being who you are. Apologize when you’ve done something wrong.

Stick to Your Values – There’s a compromise, and then there’s self-sacrifice. Too much sacrifice will make you feel resentful. Don’t cheat on your values to make something work or to make someone feel better.

Truth – Don’t exaggerate and don’t lie. Stay grounded and honest in your communication. Your partner will listen to what you have to say and know you are being sincere.

FAST is just one communication technique I recommend for couple talk. Several other methods can help you remember effective communication skills when conflict arises or it’s time to give your partner validation and praise.

I think we forget too often that we need effective communication when things are good just as much as when they are bad. How you speak to your partner when things are positive is like filling the well that you can draw on when stress is high and you’re having disagreements.

If there’s anything everyone needs right now during this troubling time it’s more praise and validation. These are simple things you can do to build your partner up and create stronger bonds in your intimate relationship.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

couples therapy video option

Uncovering Couples Therapy Video Options

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Uncovering Couples Therapy Video Options

 

Have you tried couples therapy video options yet due to the pandemic? 

If you have tried a couples therapy video option, make sure you let us know your experience. 

When was the last time you had someone trained to listen, to reflect, and to guide you through communication issues?

Opening up and working through problems is a freeing process that, unfortunately, too few couples know.

The initial meeting with a therapist is the hardest part. 

Once you make an appointment, and then begin to fill out the intake paperwork, you start a journey of exploration and healing that often is not possible alone. 

Some people, for several reasons, are hesitant to meet and talk with therapists.

Therapists are responding to client concerns and increasing their outreach by making therapy video sessions available to everyone who is not at risk of harming themselves or others.  

Now, practices around the country, and the world, are performing couples therapy video sessions as the norm. 

They’ll meet with you in the privacy of your home.

There’s a lot to consider when you’re looking for a therapist or thinking about starting sessions. Video conference capability is just one more piece of the puzzle. 

Here we discuss some of the main benefits of couples therapy video sessions and why they may work for you: 

  • Convenient and simple
  • Flexible payments
  • Sometimes covered by insurance
  • Who doesn’t want to improve their love?
  • Growing leaps and bounds in weeks

 

After 4 weeks, one client reported:

“I wish I didn’t wait to start therapy so late! I’m not going to lie, I wouldn’t have put off therapy for so long if I had realized all the discoveries along the way. Not just myself but also a different window into my partner’s inner world. I’ve very much so appreciated the way that the therapeutic relationship has been built. It was essentially everything I thought it wouldn’t be and I feel like I’ve been making leaps and bounds in my own inner world and starting to show to the rest of the world.”

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

orgasm anxiety

5 Ways to Decrease Orgasm Anxiety – For All Genders

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5 Ways to Decrease Orgasm Anxiety – For All Genders

 

Orgasm anxiety happens all the time at work, on stages, sales pitches, and a million other meetings where something’s on the line. We all react to pressure differently.

For many reasons, a lot of people experience this kind of stage fright when it comes to sexual encounters. Maybe it’s happened to you before. You meet someone you’re interested in, things click, you progress along the intimacy scale, and eventually find yourselves in bed together.

Suddenly, when it’s time to “shine,” you can’t pull it off and orgasm anxiety spikes. 

Your partner assures you that it’s no big deal. 

Still, it’s awkward all the same. 

Don’t agonize too much over it, as we’ve all been there.

Orgasm anxiety is a real thing, and it’s not always what you think. 

Unfortunately, there’s a stigma around failure to orgasm. 

For some people, it threatens to shatter the image they portray of masculinity or femininity. Often, we EXPECT the person we are with to be more like a porn star than a human. 

Sex without orgasm can also be taken as a signal that you weren’t, “into it”, and your partner will quietly wonder if a rejection is on the horizon. Sex is a complicated, messy ice cream sundae, and orgasms are the cherry on top.

orgasm anxiety

Sexing While Stressing

Your mind can be your worst enemy when it comes to sex. You can hype yourself too much or psych yourself out of the moment. All of a sudden, we find ourselves in the middle of a pandemic. People initially thought being stuck at home would trigger a huge baby boom. Everyone would be having massive amounts of sex!

The evidence indicates the opposite is happening. People are losing their jobs, worried about markets, and watching people they love fall ill. Everyone’s stressed out, and no one’s having sex.

While we’re all justifiably worried about what’s next, we must control what we can in our immediate circles. Sex, of course, is a proven stress-reliever. It can help you lower blood pressure and release endorphins to lift your mood and improve your health.

Overcoming orgasm anxiety will help you feel better about initiating sex and enjoy it more while it’s happening. Here are five ways to decrease orgasm anxiety you can try.

 

  1.   Take It Slow

Have you ever been watching porn when the first clip you come across is just the one? The people are beautiful, the scene looks great, it’s amateur porn and that’s what you’re into.

You start doing your thing, trying to get there, and you just can’t. No matter how hard or fast you go, you can’t get over the mountain.

When you’re anxious about having an orgasm, you’re more likely to try and come quickly. For that to happen, though, the conditions need to be right.

You’re better off controlling the pace and using a slow build to reach climax. The slower you go, the less you have to force it. Your body does the talking for you.

 

  1. Use a Toy, a Hand, a Mouth, and/or All of the Above

Whoever was handing out the orgasm awards in heaven wasn’t fair. Some people come super easy, and for others, it takes a lot of work. Vaginal orgasms are different than clitoral orgasms and orgasms triggered with anal sex.

Some people can only come when you go down on them, and for others, a vibrator is a must. Don’t get stuck in the self-defeating thinking that you’re broken if you can’t come a certain way. Have fun finding out what makes you cum!

Go on a shopping spree and buy a bunch of lube, vibrators, plugs, and other sex toys and experiment!

For a lot of people, orgasms take a bit of hand stimulation, some oral sex, and then a little of the old-fashioned type to get off. What’s wrong with that?

Orgasm Anxiety

 

  1. Work with Your Therapist

Meet with a sex therapist to work on mechanisms you can use during sex to decrease anxiety. A lot of our clients who have trouble orgasms struggle with mental blocks that prevent climax. It’s not so much that they aren’t being stimulated correctly, it’s that they are stopping themselves from enjoying it.

If you’re thinking about how you look, what your partner is doing, the laundry that needs to be done or whatever else, you may be subconsciously stopping the urge to orgasm. Every individual is, of course, different, and a lot of times distraction during sex is a coping mechanism that deals with whatever hang-ups or anxiety you’re feeling.

A good therapist can help you establish the right mindset before sex and fight back when anxiety starts to creep in.

 

  1. Talk to a Doctor

If you struggle to orgasm, it could be a medical issue. I mean, sexual performance drugs were invented for a reason. There was enough demand that pharmaceutical companies developed the medications.

Just like stress can impact your sexual performance, so can medications you take, weight issues, and depression. Talk to your doctor to see if there’s something you can do to decrease your sexual anxiety without putting your health at risk.

 

  1. Practice!

We’re all in quarantine whether we like it or not, right? Make the effort and shake the dust off. One of the best ways to decrease anxiety related to any activity is to do it over and over again.

“So, what you’re saying is that I should masturbate and have sex as much as I can to decrease orgasm anxiety?” 100% YES!

Having an orgasm, for most people, is like building a house of cards. You have to spend time building a foundation that will get you to the top. A couple of wrong moves during the process will send everything tumbling down.

You need to know what it takes to set the groundwork for a fast orgasm, a delayed orgasm, multiple orgasms, intense orgasms, and however many other types of orgasms there are. Learn your body in and out.

Tell your partner where you want them to touch you. You aren’t there to sit silently while they try to figure things out! Give them a hand and have fun doing it together. Hopefully, it will make our time at home together more entertaining. A little exercise never hurt either.

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

anxiety and sex

Sex therapist Gives 5 Solutions for Orgasm Anxiety During Sex!

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Sex therapist Gives 5 Solutions for Orgasm Anxiety During Sex!

 

Having anxiety during sex is very common, but it does not mean that this problem cannot be solved.

I’m so glad that you are interested in knowing more about anxiety during sex!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to 5 solutions to solve Orgasm Anxiety During Sex, and how to have fun through this time.

Strategies Beginning at 4:20

 

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Are you dating a narcissistic? 

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Are you dating a narcissistic? 

 

Dating a narcissistic is complicated to say the least, whether the narcissist is your parent, partner, boss, or best friend. From what I have learned from my clients and my education, it is clear that there are some tell-tale signs of what it looks like to be associated with someone who is a narcissist or has narcissistic tendencies. 

Often narcissists will demonstrate obsession or idealization of the person. This person is usually on a pedestal and the narcissist will sing this person’s praises (aka love bombing). The person gets significance from the narcissist and connection. The narcissist also gets significance through the adoration and admiration of the other person. This is a vital need for someone who is a narcissist. 

The relationship between the narcissist and the other person (often someone who is co-dependent, people pleaser, or a trauma victim) engage in this relationship as long as the non-narcissistic person continues to engage in the relationship in the same way. As boundaries are set or requests are made or attention shifts, the person who is engaging in narcissistic behaviors begins to disconnect from their partner or other person. 

The non-narcissist is now no longer perfect or idealized and the person with narcissism devalues and eventually discards the other person. Often at this point in the relationship the narcissist will increase behaviors such as gaslighting, crazy-making conversation, withdrawing, and seeking alternative ways to get their needs met (other friendship, partners, or family members). 

At times the person with narcissistic tendencies or with the personality disorder will self-sabotage creating circumstances where other people will abandon them due to their behavior (abusive or ethically questionable). Other times, the narcissistic person will disengage completely as to be the person in control and “to leave” before they are left. 

As long as the narcissistic person is getting their needs met of significance through someone elevating them and focusing on their needs they will continue the relationship. As soon as that need is not being met, the person will repeat the cycle. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Consequences of Divorce

Consequences of Divorce – It’s Not All About You

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Consequences of Divorce – It’s Not All About You

 

Have you ever wonder about the consequences of divorce?

When you’re in the thick of marriage hell, breaking away seems like the only option. While you and your spouse are screaming at each other from different rooms, you’re probably dreaming about what life away from them would be like.

You’re sleeping in separate rooms, barely speaking, and you haven’t had sex in months. If you’re just roommates, why not make it official and call it quits? There’s probably someone out there waiting for you who’s kinder, kinkier, and will love you for you, right?

Divorce isn’t always the magic pill people who are struggling in their relationship expect it to be. Starting over can be just as hard, and the decision impacts the people around you as well.

 

The Divorce Disclaimer

Let me preface this discussion on divorce with support for anyone who is suffering or been through marital abuse. It’s been very saddening to hear that police are receiving higher numbers of domestic violence reports during the Coronavirus quarantine.

Too many, people, especially those with children, endure abuse in marriage. Your mental and physical health comes first.

 

Thinking About Getting Out?

This is for you if you’re considering divorce because things simply stopped clicking between you and your spouse. The state of your relationship is a far cry from the cohesive bond you shared once upon a time. Things have deteriorated to the point where you’re no longer happy.

Here are 8 consequences of divorce that you should consider as you put the divorce on the table.

 

  1. Communal Grieving

It’s easy to think of divorce as like some event where you break the chains negativity you’ve been bound in for years. In reality, divorce is like a slow grind filled with grief that often ends in a whimper. And you’re not the only one grieving.

While you may not care so much about what your spouse is going through, your parents, those great in-laws, your children, and all of the friends you’ve made throughout your marriage share in your grief.

 

  1. Financial Decisions Have a Huge Impact

 

So many unhappy couples are in such a rush to get out that they make unwise financial decisions that impact them for years. You should carefully comb through your finances and have good legal representation to make sure you’re getting a fair deal.

Unwinding your assets can be complicated. What if you own a business together? Does the prospect of paying spousal support for decades change your attitude toward divorce? Splitting up is often more work than you think.

 

  1. It’s Rarely as Amicable as You Think

    Consequences of Divorce

Even if you’re a couple that comes peacefully to terms that you no longer belong together, divorce is never going to be as easy or painless as you think.

All of a sudden, you’re going through who gets what and your partner digs their heels in over keeping the dog. You decide to retaliate by claiming the bedroom furniture. Things can spiral downhill quickly.

You need to be prepared for the worst.

 

  1. Disappearing Friends

Your friends are going to have a hard time accepting and navigating your divorce. Usually, they feel like they need to take sides.

Even if they remain cordial, eventually you’ll notice some of your friends have unfriended you on Facebook or get in touch less often. It’s not that they don’t like you. They just like your ex more and don’t want to have to guard what they say around you.

Consider that more than just the relationship with your spouse is going to be affected by divorce. Even though they may have good intentions, they’re going to feel uncomfortable with the new dynamic. As a result, some of your friends may distance themselves.

 

  1. Kids Get It the Hardest

As a parent, divorce is an excruciating decision. No matter how much you hate your spouse, you’ll worry about ruining your kids’ lives growing up in a single-parent household. Divorced parents have a very challenging time entering new relationships as well because they’re hesitant to put their kids through any more trauma.

Your children will no doubt suffer from divorce. You’ll likely get to see them less often, and during the divorce process, they’ll probably see sides of your and your spouse you’ll wish they didn’t.

 

  1. Your Ex May Flourish – Can You Handle It?

Are you emotionally stable enough to see your spouse thrive post-divorce? What if they find new love before you do or get a promotion at work with all that free time? You’re not the only one stuck in a challenging relationship.

You need to realize that your partner may benefit from divorce just like you’re hoping to, so get ready for that.

 

  1. Behavioral Patterns Exist

Whenever you are ready for another relationship, you’re going to bring emotional baggage along with you no matter what. If you were married for a long time, then behavioral patterns have set in that you may not be able to identify yourself.

Working with a therapist can help avoid dragging your new partner into bad old habits that are hanging over from your divorce.

 

  1. Not Everyone’s Going to Agree

Not everyone sees the intimate details of what unwound your marriage. There’s a chance even your family will carry some resentment because they love your ex! They always loved your ex and are sad to see them go.

They may harbor some resentment over your divorce, even while they say they completely support your decision.

The bottom line is divorce is hard. While some marriages can be saved, divorce is sometimes the only healthy option. Just know that, even without kids, it’s about more than just the two of you, and feeling that relief of separation isn’t everyone’s reality.

Divorce has significant consequences that will follow you for years. Certainly, staying in a state of misery with your marriage is not fun either! Weigh your options carefully and lean on professionals you can trust to make the best decision for you and your family.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

masturbation

How Often Should You Masturbate?

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How Often Should You Masturbate?

 

The question “How Often Should You Masturbate?” has probably been entered into Google more times during the Coronavirus than ever before in history. I mean, we’re quarantined, what else are we supposed to do? 

NYC government even went so far as to recommend masturbation, saying that you are your safest sex partner and that masturbation was the surest way not to contract the virus from sex! 

The only caveat being you wash your hands, with soap, regularly… please. 

If you’re someone with high sexual desire, all it takes is a change of the wind, a single fleeting thought floating across your mind to trigger the thought, “Hey, maybe I should get off right now.”

If you’re not so high in desire, you might also be masturbating more than you were pre-pandemic. That’s normal given how much time we have on our hands. After all, there’s only so much Netflix you can watch, right?

Thankfully, masturbation is a godsend for people locked away in quarantine. Especially for our single readers, masturbation can give you a dose of self-love while you abstain from sex with partners due to health concerns.

Is there such a thing as too much masturbation? Let’s take a look!

masturbation

 

The Health Effects of Masturbation

Well, we know for sure that masturbation doesn’t spread STDs, and you won’t get pregnant, so check those boxes

The main concern with masturbation is self-harm. If you’re masturbating a lot, or if you’re not following a few steps, you can end up chafing your skin or get sore. That’s not that serious, yet it can be uncomfortable.

You want to wank it knowing that there’s the potential to go again another day soon, so make sure you do the following:

Wash your hands – keep things as sanitary as possible. Germs or dirt can cause an infection that can last for days.

Use Lubricant – Take it easy on your genitals. This will go a long way in preventing sores or redness. It will also feel better and likely will make your orgasms more intense.

Pace Yourself if It Hurts – You know your own body, so don’t let your desperation for an orgasm cause you to hurt yourself. Stop masturbating if you start to feel more pain than you’d like.

Use a Good Vibrator if You Can – Get a quality sex toy that will take you over the edge!

 

Masturbation is Normal!

Unfortunately, for religious, cultural, or other societal reasons, masturbation lived in the shadows for decades. It was something we all did; we just couldn’t talk about it.

A lot of people grew up with a lot of shame around self-stimulation and still struggle to talk about it today. Thankfully, there’s much less stigma around masturbation these days. Maybe enough people have been caught or there have been enough movie scenes featuring masturbation that we’ve all learned to get over ourselves a bit.

Masturbation is a great way to relieve stress, feel good and engage with your sexuality. Indeed, it’s one of the best ways people who struggle with sexuality can become familiar with their bodies.

I often counsel clients who can’t orgasm or wrestle with shame around sex to masturbate more so they can become more comfortable with their genitals and feeling turned on. It’s too bad when people feel negative about the way their bodies can make them feel.

If you ever feel shame or doubt about your masturbation, you can talk to a therapist about your emotions. They can help you realize that it’s completely normal and even can be a healthy activity. Don’t waste any more time worrying about masturbation. If anything, try to learn how to do it better so you have more fun and orgasm more intensely!

 

The Social Exception to Masturbation

Perhaps the one exception to masturbation is if you’re denying yourself human connection or masturbation is getting in the way of being productive.

Some people with trauma or who want to hide from other problems can masturbate obsessively. In these cases, it’s not the masturbation itself that’s “too much”. It’s the inclination to distract from real life. Running and hiding is something we should avoid whether it’s jerking off, drugs, video games, shopping, you name it.

masturbation

Hopefully, we’re all leaning a bit harder on masturbation during quarantine to blow off some steam and tide us over until we can get back out on the dating scene. However, if you’re finding that you’re jerking off multiple times a day and you just can’t get to that work project, then maybe you need to pace yourself.

Don’t let masturbation, or any behavior for that matter, get in the way of doing the things you need to feel good about yourself. That means exercise, work, interactions with family and friends, and a slew of other things you should be doing in quarantine to get emotional and physical support.

The one thing I will say, though, is to avoid demonizing masturbation. Technically, there is no such thing as masturbation too much. No, you’re not going to go blind. Relax.

 

Saving Your Bullets for the Big One

If you’re a pro masturbator, then you know that masturbation frequently affects how your orgasms feel. Blasting off a bunch of rapid-fire bullets is different than saving up for a few days and dropping an orgasm bomb.

If you’ve been on a solid run of one to two times per day, add a little suspense to your life and wait a couple of days. Your orgasm will probably be longer and more intense because you’ve built up for a bit. Learn about edging and how it can supercharge your orgasms.

Most of all, make sure you’re enjoying the act. I talk to clients to whom masturbation is like brushing teeth, it’s just part of the daily routine. That’s fine if it works for you, all I would say it to take some time every once in a while, to feel your body and experience your sexuality at a deeper level.

Masturbation, when done right, can be an intense, healing experience. While it’s never going to hold a candle to sexual connection and intimacy with another person, it is still awesomely available.

During all of our downtime, make the extra effort to make masturbation better than ever!

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

postpartum sex

5 Tips to Protecting Yourself from Postpartum Sex Disasters

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5 Tips to Protecting Yourself from Postpartum Sex Disasters

 

So, are you struggling with postpartum sex?

Postpartum Sex can cause great stress in the relationship, but it is normal and has a solution!

In this video, I’ll teach you 5 essentials points to have the best Postpartum Sex, and keep the spark in the relationship without neglecting your parenting role.

These tips for Postpartum sex will surely enlighten you on how to maintain a balance and enjoy parenthood without losing passion in the room!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to have improve your Postpartum Sex!

 

GET “HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR SPOUSE” FOR FREE

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

ClickToTweet: https://ctt.ac/Ud3aa

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

LCAT provides video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

What is Narcissism

What is Narcissism?

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What is Narcissism?

 

“What is narcissism” seems to be a buzzword lately around Life Coaching and Therapy and on the internet. 

Having and or knowing someone who is a narcissist is complicated, confusing, and at times overwhelming. 

Within my clinical practice, I work with those who have been impacted by narcissists or those who identify as narcissists. 

Today, I will try to answer the question “what is narcissism” and bring some clarity. 

According to GoodTherapy (2019), narcissism is “excessive self-involvement that causes a person to ignore the needs of others.” 

Even though we may behave in a self-involved manner, when we are doing it chronically and at the expense of others without accountability, that is when it becomes problematic. 

 

GoodTherapy (2019) states that clear indicators of narcissism are: 

  • incredibly self-focused
  • difficulty empathizing with others
  • Entitlement
  • attention seeking behavior
  • a focus on the narrative of others, need for admiration or affirmations
  • difficulty in relationships
  • inability to take responsibility for their actions or behavior
  • unable to tolerate criticism, and 
  • seeking approval from others (GoodTherapy, 2019). 

 

When asking “what is narcissism,” I think it is important to consider there is a spectrum of this ranging from those who have narcissistic tendencies and someone who has an extreme form of narcissism that is a “personality disorder.” 

To some degree, we all have parts of us that demonstrate self-serving behaviors, yet that does not mean you are engaging in narcissistic behavior or abuse. 

 

Narcissism: A Family Pattern

Often people who are narcissists are raised in a narcissistic environment. 

Their family of origin or people integral in their lives are also narcissistic. 

It may appear to be an intergenerational pattern – so that if you look at the person who is acting like a  narcissist, you will find their close family members demonstrating these same qualities. 

People raised by narcissistic caregivers often struggle with questioning their own reality and emotions. 

This constant invalidation creates significant struggles for them as a child and eventual adult as they grow up to have relationships within the community. 

Being raised in an environment that is unpredictable where caregivers may show public affection and are distant creates issues in attachment. 

This is particularly challenging for children as they learn attachment (which sets the road map for their relationships moving forward) with their caregivers. 

Focusing on individual needs rather than that of the family or the child creates a system of modeling this behavior, elevating the “narcissistic part” over the “collaborative” or “empathetic” part(s). 

Thus creating another generation that may struggle with narcissism. 

This is not to say “it’s my parents’ fault” or to blame someone else (that can be a narcissistic trait). 

The point is to recognize that this pattern probably began generations ago. 

Often these behaviors are strategies to get a need met or survive trauma. 

Behaviors are passed down from generation to generation until someone decides to change them. 

As a systemic therapist, this makes sense. 

We become and act on what we know. 

If we are not intentionally aware of the processes that we learned, we will repeat them. 

As someone who specializes in trauma, I often see my clients regress into narcissistic tendencies while in “trauma spirals.” 

To be clear, regardless of if you are a narcissist or acting as a narcissist due stress or trauma… it does not justify acting abusively, harmfully, or with disregard to the impact on those around you. 

If you are engaging in narcissistic behavior, you are likely engaging in some abusive patterns. I repeat, if you are engaging in narcissistic patterns of behavior, regardless of the reason, you may be engaging in abusive patterns as well. 

 

Can the Cycle be Broken?

In one word, absolutely. 

Building insight and awareness with the narcissistic part of you is a skill we teach at LCAT.

If we are looking at ourselves as made up of various aspects (see Inner Aspects model by Francesca Gentille), we can acknowledge and see that we all have parts of us that are narcissistic. 

If we are able to look at that part of us, see that part of us, and work with that part of us we are capable of disrupting the pattern. 

Acknowledging that we are engaging in these patterns, being committed to doing things differently, and showing up to do the work allows for growth to happen. 

The cycle cannot and will not be broken if individuals are not able to see their part, take accountability, and be willing to do the work though. 

If your narcissistic part is the part that dominates your person, it may be difficult to do this because that part of you will not want to take responsibility.

Our role would be to help you gently and tenderly acknowledge that you are engaging in destructive, toxic, and or abusive behaviors. 

Then, we would help give you the pieces to put your life back as you see fit. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.