How Females Use Edging to Supercharge Orgasms

/in , , , /by

How Female Edging Supercharges Orgasms

 

Sex is fun, yet female edging can make it better! 

Every once in a while, though, we need something more to mix things up and explore a little bit. 

That’s not to say things get boring, yet sometimes you just have to juice things up.

Intimacy is also all about exploring. Finding more ways to please yourself and your partner. Trying new stuff out should be fun, and make sex more interesting.

 

Edging refers to when you stay just on the edge of orgasm. It’s a great way to intensify your orgasms and improve your sexual awareness. Read on to hear more about edging and what you can get out of it.

 

Take Me to the Edge

Whether you’re masturbating alone or having a partner get you there, edging involves all of the foreplay and sexual buildup you normally experience on your way to climax. Once you’re there, though, you pump the brakes and let things rev down a bit, holding back climax.

If you’ve never tried it before, edging can offer a lot of sexual benefits, one of them being stronger, longer-lasting orgasms.

I hope you’ve noticed the difference between a great orgasm and a normal one before. There are times in our lives when we just need to climax to relieve some stress or we’re not up for marathon lovemaking sessions. That’s fine.

However, if you’ve ever had a mind-blowing, bury your face in the pillow screaming orgasm before, you know what it takes to get there. Those orgasms take time and a lot of foreplay. You likely engaged in some manual stimulation, oral sex, and some other awesome acts to get you to that place. Not to mention you’re probably doing it with someone you’re wild for.

Edging is similar in that the longer you wait and the more often you edge and retreat, the more incredible the final climax will eventually be. It’s worth the work, trust me.

 

Practice Makes Perfect

Edging isn’t easy. Many women who have a hard time orgasming feel like it’s climbing a mountain to simply get there, why would I want to slide back down and do it all over again?

That’s a concern, so the right technique is important to keep you on or as close to the edge as possible.

If you’re flying solo, it’s a good idea to use a vibrator and other toys to keep you stimulated. Just as you’re about to climax, stop any stimulation and pause, letting your blood flow ease a bit.

You’ll feel your orgasm slipping away; however, you don’t want to wait until it’s disappeared.

When you feel like you’re just on the other side of climaxing, resume whatever you were doing, whether it’s pressing your vibrator against your clitoris or using your hand. Work to get right back to the edge and rinse and repeat.

Soon, you’ll be getting goosebumps and your entire body will tingle as you play on the edge with your orgasm.

 

Female Edging Will Help with Sexual Awareness

Understanding your arousal cues will help you and your partner have better sex. A lot of people are concerned with their female partners’ sexual satisfaction. 

There is a reason so many of us have faked orgasms before. Some of them are pleasers in bed, and a lot of partners revel in a feeling of sexual prowess when the female they’re with experiences orgasm.

Female edging is a wonderful way to get your partner attuned to your orgasm ladder and what it takes to get up there. If you do it enough and your partner is paying attention, pretty soon they’ll know a bit of what turns you on.

When you edge with a partner, it can be even more fun because you can tease each other, and it adds to the sexual dynamic. 

There’s a bit of power play as your partner edges you close to orgasm and then moves it away. 

You can’t climax unless they “let” you, and some people love that feeling of submission and domination.

Your partner will be laser-focused on your breathing, the sounds you’re making, and the way your body moves in response to touch that elevates the sexual experience for both of you. 

Both of you will be engaged in a careful intimate interplay with greater connection and pleasure.

 

Using Female Edging with Masturbation

A lot of the time, you just need a one on one quickie. You’ve got to get to work, the kids will be up soon, or a million other things hinder your ability to take it slow when you masturbate.

That’s not the time to try edging. You’ll likely just end up frustrated.

However, when you have some decent alone time set aside, break out the toys and some lubrication and settle in for some you time. 

Female edging while you masturbate may help you overcome obstacles that you face when it comes to partnered sex.

You can learn to better control your arousal, speeding and slowing down as necessary. You can experiment with different levels of pressure, vibration cadences, and simultaneously touching your clitoris and tease the opening of the vagina to see how your arousal changes.

 

A Little Taunting Can Be Sexy!

Some individuals enjoy one orgasm, and then lose interest in longer sexual encounters. Female edging adds a playful element that can keep you interested by playing on the edge of climax. 

Once your partner has you in that edging zone, they’ll love the power they have to play with your body and tease you with the thought of orgasm.

One second, they’re pressing a vibrator against you, and the next they’re pressing their tongue or fingers against your clitoris, going back and forth at just the right speed to make sure you don’t go over the edge.

When the time is right, when you can’t stand it anymore, you’re definitely in for a treat. The prolonged foreplay and lengthy stimulation will deliver an incredible orgasm that’s better than most you’ve ever had before.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Divorce Care – Why You Need a Therapist

/in , , , /by

Divorce Care – Why You Need a Therapist

 

Divorce is tough, there’s no getting around it. No matter how bad things get, and no matter how happy you might think you’ll be after it’s over, most people are woefully unprepared for the realities of divorced life.

It’s easy in the middle of screaming fights or after going months without sex to think about how great life will be once the divorce is final. We get seduced into dreaming about starting over in a new, perfect life.

What you don’t realize, though, is that when a marriage ends, a lot more goes out the door with it. Your life changes. Yes, you’re removing something that was potentially abusive and traumatic from your life, however, some positives get sacrificed on the altar of divorce every day.

Managing the disruptive ripples of divorce is one of the main reasons people need therapy during, and after, the process. Here are some of the ways a licensed therapist can help you deal with everything divorce entails.

 

Dealing with Social Rearrangement

Depending on how long you’ve been married, it’s hard to imagine what life will be like alone. A lot of times, we fall into this trap where we imagine our lives will revert to what it was like before we met our spouse.

We don’t account for how we’ve changed. Your priorities, career, age, and a whole bunch of other things are different. You might have kids, pets, and different friends.

 

Dealing with the social aspect of divorce can be trying, especially when we’re vulnerable and need to rely on friends. What happens when all of your friends are married couples that you met with your ex or soon to be ex-spouse?

You may go looking for a shoulder to cry on, only to discover that your “friend” has already chosen sides, and it’s not yours. You’re also going to have to manage your feelings when your friends want to maintain relationships with both of you even though you’re no longer together.

Losing friends is a part of divorce most people don’t think about.

 

What About All of the Logistics?

Therapists can be a “divorce coach” for all intents and purposes. Odds are, they’ve dealt with several divorcees in the past. They know what’s involved in the process.

A therapist can help you sift through the minutiae of divorce to help you make sure you’re not taken advantage of.

They’ll draw on other clients’ experiences to advise you on things you might be overlooking, like coming to an agreement over visitation rights, the right approach to dealing with in-laws after a divorce and splitting up your possessions.

Separating lives that have been intertwined for so long is extremely challenging. It’s also overwhelming. Dealing with the stress of divorce makes a lot of people want to throw up their hands and say, “Forget it!” over a lot of things that will matter to them down the road.

Divorce is one of the main causes of financial hardship. High legal costs, the long time it takes to unwind joint assets, having to sell your house quickly to settle your affairs, and other logistical decisions will have a huge impact on your life ahead.

Having a therapist who you can trust who’s dealt with divorce in the past can be a guide you can lean on for advice when things get rough.

 

Helping You Keep Your Kids Centered

It’s bad enough to go through a divorce, but it can be even worse when kids are involved. When you love your children so much, it’s hard to imagine not being able to see them every day or have total control over how they’re raised.

Children that go through a divorce all experience trauma to some extent. The separation of a family unit, no matter how amicable, is never the same.

 

Children also aren’t always the most understanding. They may not recognize that you need or needed a divorce to protect yourself and live happily. They may resent you for your decisions.

A therapist will help you work through a divorce and mitigate risks to your children and the relationships you have with them. It will keep you focused on considering their well-being even when they seem to be doing alright.

 

Therapists Can Help You Avoid Repeating Your Mistakes

In most divorces, couples share the blame. Yes, there are situations where a spouse is abusive or manipulative, and those certainly should end in divorce. Most, though, happens when a couple is no longer able to overcome resentment. Heels are dug in too deep and no one’s willing to give anymore.

What many people don’t realize, is that they assign the reason for their divorce to the individual to whom they were married. It was a difference of personality or you fell out of love.

So many things, though, drive us toward divorce. Whether it’s childhood trauma, failure to deal with our parents’ divorce, depression, shame, or some other issue, there are personal influences in all of us that contribute to divorce.

Therapists work with clients to identify obstacles to connection and any destructive patterns we repeat. Too many of my clients have felt like they just met the wrong person, and that they’ll get it right the next time around. Their ex was just a bad apple and they didn’t see it early enough.

Unfortunately, success rates for second and third marriages aren’t any better. They’re even worse. According to Psychology Today, second marriages end in divorce 67% of the time, and 73% of third marriages end in a split.

Perhaps, after one divorce, we’ve normalized separating a bit, so the idea of leaving is less taboo the second or third time around.

Working with a therapist can help you get to the root of issues holding you back from making a real connection and building loving relationships in the future. With hard work, you can break the pattern of mistrust, insecurity, shame, or whatever else is standing in your way.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Sensate Focus Therapy

Sensate Focus Therapy for Couples

/in , , , /by

Sensate Focus Therapy for Couples

 

Sensate Focus Therapy Works! And you need a CERTIFIED SEX THERAPIST who knows how to do it for the sensate focus to work!

Don’t you wish intimacy was more like paint night? You just sign up and show up and they gave you step-by-step instructions?

With Sensate Focus, it is!  You get out your blank canvas and prepare to color your masterpiece.

Imagine if seduction or desire could be broken down to you so you would have a masterpiece.

If you are tired of the current state of your life and you want a life of passion, I can help.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Behind the Sex Therapy Scenes! I Caught My Wife Masturbating!

/in , , , /by

Behind the Sex Therapy Scenes! I Caught My Wife Masturbating! 

 

“Help! I caught my wife masturbating!”

Even though we are living in the most open society ever when it comes to sexuality, we still live with so many taboos. 

Our fetishes have to live in this weird world of moving boundaries, where one minute you’re being sexually expressive, and the next minute you’re labeled as a freak. Even freaks can be good, up to a point, right? When and where we draw these implicit lines are complex and sometimes silly.

Have you ever been caught masturbating? There you were, feeling some kinda way all by yourself. Maybe you caught a hot scene in a movie, or an old crush flashed through your brain. The next thing you know you’re in your room doing your thing and Wham!, the door swings open.

I Caught My Wife Masturbating!

You shuffle your pants around or dive onto your side to face away, but your reaction probably made whatever you were doing way more obvious. It’s happened to so many of us, mostly in childhood, that we still to this day carry complex feelings of shame, embarrassment, and even guilt around jerking off.

 

What Is It About Self-Touch that makes it feel like “Too Much?”

Most have tried it, and of those who have tried, the majority continue to DO it, so what’s the big deal about self-touch feeling like too much?  

Why specifically is there so much embarrassment when it comes to catching your wife masturbating? 

Thanks to so many scenes in comedies and enough high-profile celebrity masturbation scandals, men catch a break on yanking it more than women do.

For reasons that stem back centuries, the idea of your wife or female partner self-pleasuring can come as a shock. 

Women’s pleasure has come a long way since the idea that their main purpose is to OFFER sexual pleasure and carry children, yet there’s still a lot of stigma tied up in the way we please ourselves.

If you’re here reading this and you haven’t caught your wife masturbating YET, first realize that she probably enjoys masturbation (maybe even as much as you do if you engage in self-touch).

How often she does it, where, and to what is her business. If she feels like telling you, that’s her prerogative and it would be a great way to introduce more trust in your relationship if you approach the conversation with curiosity instead of criticism or embarrassment. 

 

Catching Your Wife in the Act

If you’re together long enough, odds are you’re going to catch your wife engaging in a bit of one on one time at some point. You might walk in on her taking a bath or come home from work early one day to find her in her pleasure. 

Some people I speak with come to sex therapy with a lot of shame and embarrassment that catching their spouse masturbating is some sort of betrayal. 

I often like to bring up the point that consent and communication prior to being “caught” is ideal. 

For those of you who believe that all sexual encounters should involve the two of you, I would have you wonder if you hold yourself to that same standard and WHERE did this standard originate? 

Catching your wife masturbating does not have to be the end of your sexual life. It can be the beginning of opening a door to deeper discussions about sensual and sexual pleasure. 

 

How to Stop the Embarrassment After Catching Someone Masturbating

 

Here’s some food for thought on how you can handle the situation.

Prep Yourself – Repeat after me, “There’s nothing wrong with masturbation.” There you go. That’s the mindset you need. It will serve you well in dealing with your own sexuality, your wife’s sexual expression, and if you ever decide to have kids.

When you understand that there’s nothing to be ashamed of related to self-pleasure, then you’ll handle the situation much better.

Mind Your Manners – If you do catch your wife masturbating, treat the situation appropriately. Hopefully, your wife isn’t embarrassed about having sex with you, yet if your friend or family member walked in, the two of you might feel slightly embarrassed.

That’s because engaging in sexual acts – even masturbation – involves opening oneself up to vulnerability. You have to let your guard down to relax enough to accomplish the mission before you, so naturally, getting caught masturbating will be a little startling.

I Caught My Wife Masturbating!

The best thing you do if you come across your wife, or anyone else for that matter, masturbating, is to be accountable and then find somewhere else to go, as soon as possible. I suggest going to take a shower and meditating to center yourself. 

Don’t sit yourself down next to her to talk about it. Give her some space, as you intruded on an activity between her and her body.

Follow up later on with another apology and leave it at that. You might also try to make light of the situation. If masturbation isn’t something the two of you have discussed, she might feel a bit awkward.

Drop a light-hearted line about how you are glad she is experiencing pleasure and move on. It’ll break the ice in a way that lets you both know it’s not a big deal.

Follow Her Cues – Any discussion about masturbation and self-pleasure going forward can be on her terms. Let her bring it up. 

Don’t think for a second that it’s on you to discuss or that there’s some issue to resolve. Keep your emotional responses to yourself, because I suggest that they are about you, and wait for her to talk about it – if she wants. 

Be Encouraging – Masturbation can be a healthy behavior. It’s a wonderful way for people to be mindful about their own bodies, relieve stress, and find out accurately some of the ways that they like to be touched.

If anything, you can be GLAD you caught your wife masturbating!

I Caught My Wife Masturbating

Therapists deal with couples all the time that are sexually frustrated. 

For any number of reasons, wives struggle to feel comfortable with their bodies and being touched with a partner; because they have their ways they like to be touched and pleased as well. 

Many women have guilt about taking 20-30 minutes to achieve an orgasm, and more wives than I care to mention associate feeling aroused with something to be shameful about. 

Sometimes, it also takes one partner a longer time to get into the mood because they are more focused on the emotional labor of the home or the relationship.

 

Open the Doors to More Sexual Exploration

Now, if the stars align, your wife may want to talk about masturbation. You have two choices. First, you can feel insecure that your wife is self-pleasuring and take that as some personal affront on your sexuality and the bond the two of you have. That route is ridiculous and will get you nowhere.

Second, you can use the conversation – remember, started by your wife – to open your relationship up to greater sexual experiences.

If you choose correctly, not only will your wife feel better about herself sexually, but she’ll also be more inclined to include you and open up to you when it comes to sex.

Plenty of couples masturbate together, watch each other masturbate, or feed their partner’s masturbation with scintillating texts, pictures, and videos. Your wife may start to feel more comfortable masturbating during sex.

If you find yourself on the road traveling, your wife might be more inclined to engage in some phone sex. Anything you can do to make your wife more comfortable touching herself and feeling sexy is the right decision. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Eye Contact Exercise

Eye Contact Exercise for Erotic Couples

/in , , , /by

Eye Contact Exercise for Erotic Couples

 

Eye contact exercises are part of the key for developing strategies you need to guarantee your Sexual Satisfaction!

So, today, we will answer how to use eye contact exercise for sexual satisfaction with another.

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining us in this topic of eye contact exercises.

In this video, I’ll be answering: what is an eye contact exercise and how to use eye contact exercises in your sex and love life.

We hope you will take some of this advice to use for your own sexual fun with eye contact exercises!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

shameless sex

Shameless Sex

/in , , , , , /by

Shameless Sex

 

There’s no doubt about it, shameless sex is complex. 

Sex can range from a random fling with someone you met online to intimacy that creates the deepest connection possible.. 

No matter what kind of sex you’re having, there’s often a lot of emotion involved. Even the “casual sex” you think you’re having has something deeper at work.

Whether it’s a want for connection, a desire to outwardly express love, for kicks (or even revenge), sex is about more than just the act of genitals. 

We’re driven by a need to fill a part of us emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically through the “feel-good hormones” that get pumped into our body after lustful, intimate, or sexual connection. 

After sex sometimes feels complicated. 

Have you ever sat and thought about how you’re feeling after sex? 

Unfortunately, a lot of people, for several reasons, feel shame during and after sex. Shame can be a debilitating condition that hampers your ability to enjoy sex and experience everything it can give you.

 

How Sex Education Impacts Our Attitudes About Intimacy

It’s normal for all of us to have grown up in a more conservative environment than the one in which we live now. People’s ideas about morality and sex become more open as they expose themselves to new ideas. It takes time to overcome and discard the narrow thinking of the past.

You may have grown up in a conservative religious home where sex was taboo and not a conversation to be discussed. Abstinence may have been the only option, so you learned to view sex as forbidden. 

The people in your immediate circle – your parents, friends, mentors, and teachers – are more likely to have shared similar beliefs, so there wasn’t much in the way of information to be had.

Without proper preparation, you may not have been ready when you started to encounter sex. Sexual thoughts and acts may have been something you kept in secret. 

Many religious people grow up having to hide even masturbation, something we know now is normal and almost completely universal.

When we associate sex with something bad or shameful, it warps our ability to connect and on a much more basic level enjoy sex! 

It can take years of therapy and so many ups and downs to overcome the feelings of guilt and shame we carried for years.

 

The Difference Between Shame and Guilt

We need to make a distinction here that shame does not equal guilt. They often get bunched together, but they’re very different.

shameless sex

Guilt can be a positive emotion because it helps us adapt and correct harmful or detrimental behavior. It can drive us to become better and push us away from negativity. 

Shame, on the other hand, isn’t a helpful emotion. 

With shame, we veer into the territory of letting our mistakes or something bad that’s happened to us define who we are. Instead of recognizing something we did was bad, we become bad.

Shame can be debilitating. It can trigger anxiety that affects the way we think and interact with those around us. If you’ve struggled with shame in the past, there’s a good chance you’ve struggled with shame in the bed as well.

 

The Baggage We All Carry

The moment we realize that every person we have sex, and every time we have sex, we carry with us certain attitudes and thoughts about who we are and what we’re doing. Baggage can range from something horrible like childhood or sexual trauma to other issues like poor body image.

So often, we let baggage define us. It’s who we feel we are deep inside despite whatever image we project to a one-night stand or our committed partners. Overcoming baggage and identifying shame is so important to enjoying sex. Whether you’re trying to simply have fun and get off, or you long for meaningful eye contact as you make passionate love to someone you love, shedding the shame can give you the permission you need to let loose and enjoy sex.

 

Shameless Sex Through Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a gigantic step we can all take to drop our baggage approach sex more positively. After all, isn’t it time you cut yourself a break?

 

We tend to take things so seriously, even sex. Have you ever been in bed and listened to some of the negative thoughts that seem to race through your head? “Is he disappointed in my body?” “I’m worried I won’t be able to orgasm.” “Why am I so tense?” When we’re having what should be an amazing experience, we’re busy shooting ourselves down.

Self-compassion, on a very basic level, means cutting yourself a break! Instead of letting the way you feel define you as a person, you put them in a box labeled just what they are, “something you experienced once”. It’s a practice during which we focus on forgiving ourselves for whatever we did or happened to us.

 

Rejecting Shame and Embracing Shameless Sex

If you have trouble relaxing during sex or feel shame about your body, then reading this article isn’t going to solve your problem. You know by now that shame isn’t something you abandon. It’s usually buried deep and digging it up takes work.

Working with a licensed therapist can help you recognize shame and other detrimental emotions that prevent you from enjoying sex and other aspects of your life.

Don’t worry, you’re here because you know sex should be fun and something enjoyable.

Shameless sex is something a lot of us aspire to and are working earnestly towards. Stop thinking that something is wrong with you and that one magic day all of your problems and shame around sexual issues will disappear.

Experiencing shameless sex starts with the desire to get better.

Shameless sex for people who have wrestled with shame in the past is something we’re constantly working on. We learn how to forgive ourselves for being human and maybe even laugh at ourselves once in a while. It’s all part of the process of approaching sex is a more realistic, positive way.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

tantra sex practice

Tantra Sex Tips and Practices for Individuals and Couples

/in , , , , /by

Tantra Sex Tips and Practices for Individuals and Couples

 

Tantra sex practices and tips for individuals and couples are a powerful way to deepen intimacy, enhance pleasure. And create meaningful connection in your sexual life. It isn’t just about physical techniques. It’s a holistic approach that combines mindfulness, breathwork, energy awareness. And emotional presence to heighten both personal satisfaction and shared intimacy.

For individuals, Tantra can help you explore your body, understand your desires, and increase your sexual energy. For couples, it opens a pathway to stronger emotional bonds, better communication, and prolonged, more satisfying sexual experiences.

Whether you are new to Tantra or looking to expand your practice, learning these techniques can transform ordinary encounters into deeply sensual and spiritually fulfilling experiences.

So, it’s time to explore Tantra sex tips and practices and unlock the potential of your sexual satisfaction. One mindful breath, touch, and connection at a time!

In this video, I’ll be answering: what are the Tantra Sex Tips and Best Practices and how to use Tantra Sex Tips and Practices for your Love Life! 

We hope you will take some of this advice to use for your own sexual fun with the Tantra Sex Tips and Practices!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

50 shades

Sex Therapist Brings 50 Shades to Your Bedroom

/in , , , , , , /by

Sex Therapist Brings 50 Shades to Your Bedroom

 

So you have read the 50 Shades books, and have you had anyone bring Christian Grey to your bedroom? 

Well, I can. Almost! 

  • Date night because Valentine’s Day isn’t over after February 14! Treat 1 day every week like it’s Valentine’s Day for your sweetie. Why? Because giving gifts – whether it be yourself or a present – is sexy! Go mark it ok your calendar now. Pick a sexy day for you and your partner every week! I personally like Fridays. 
  • Teach him the ropes – yes, literally ropes. You’ll love me for this… learn to tie a square knot. It’s easy and it will take you to the next level. Check my YouTube page. 

  • Blindfolds – utilize an old shirt, the free blindfolds they give on airplanes, or a scarf and ask your partner to blindfold you before having sex. You will be amazed at how different your thoughts are when you can’t see! Trust me… try it.
  • Use the power of suggestion – each day, use a word such as “pleasure” or “indulge” in your conversations via text or phone. Then when you see him in person, say the word “pleasure” or “indulge” while grabbing his arm or grazing his side. 
  • Sexy stories – Suggest that you write an erotic story together. Once your partner agrees, you start by writing the first paragraph. 
  • Make it a paragraph from a 50 Shades scene! Your partner writes a paragraph the next day. 
  • This way, you two are learning each other’s specific giving and receiving desires. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

free couples therapy tips

What are the 5 love languages Sexual Satisfaction!? 

/in , , , , /by

What are the 5 love languages Sexual Satisfaction!? 

 

The 5 Love Languages are part of the key for developing strategies you need to guarantee your Sexual Satisfaction!

So, today, we will answer how to use your five love languages quiz answers for sexual satisfaction. 

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining us in this topic of the five love languages! 

In this video, I’ll be answering: what are the five love languages and how to use the 5 love languages to have your sex and love life last. Moreover, I will answer your questions about the love languages for sexual satisfaction.

 

We hope you will take some of this advice to use for your own sexual fun with the love languages! 

My tips will hopefully break through months or years of stuckness in strategies to get sexual connection with the use of the 5 love languages quiz. 

Cannot wait for you to learn how to use the 5 Love Languages Summary to get the sex you want 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Taboo Sex

How We Think About Taboo Sex

/in , , , /by

How We Think About Taboo Sex

Why is it that we feel so much anxiety about expressing our desires about taboo sex? 

Perhaps it’s because sex is usually something that’s done in private and opening up about fetishes or kinks that we are into can make us feel vulnerable.

It’s also hard to know when you’ve crossed the line…

There’s no governing body in charge of what kind of sex is OK and what’s crossing the line. You might shudder at the thought of speaking openly about what kind of sexual activity you’re into. 

One way to think about it is, how would you feel if your porn search history were to be broadcast publicly? Would you be mortified?

As a society, we’ve become conditioned along moral lines that implicitly say what’s normal and what’s taboo sex. 

If you’re into women and you’re caught searching for “hot blonde with natural tits,” you might get shoulder shrugs. If it is “foursome bondage featuring hot milf”, that may raise some eyebrows.

We’re certainly not used to dealing with the outer rings of sexual behavior. Here are some thoughts on what taboo sex is and how we should think about it and approach it.

 

The Sexual Spectrum

Some people fit in boxes, some don’t. The same sexual positions, sexual fantasies, ideal body images, etc. are so popular, because they have widespread appeal. A lot of people like big breasts or a hot guy with a big hard penis. There are, however, people with different sexual appetites.

 

If you’re into a sexual activity like bondage, submission, sexual humiliation, group sex, or some uncommon fetish, it’s important first to come to terms with what that means for you. Whatever your sexual inclinations, you need to make sure you find the right balance that allows you to express yourself and find fulfillment sexually, but at the same time approach sex in a way that it doesn’t negatively affect you.

 

Finding the Right Partner(s)

We’re lucky now to live in an era where we can communicate online and find people with common interests across distance. You’re not stuck anymore in your small community dealing with a limited group of people. If you want them, you can find sexual opportunities all over the place.

There are apps, groups, and other ways to find people into the same things you are. 

Taboo Sex

That’s great for you if you’re new to sexual exploration and what to find out more. Finding the right partner or partners is so important, especially when it comes to taboo sex.

First, you need to make sure you’re in a safe place. For sure, even when you’re dealing with what’s considered “normal” sex on a first date or in a new relationship, you need to be safe. On the other hand, venturing into what many people consider taboo sex can be more complicated, because you may not know the social guidelines for engagement.

If, for example, you want to give group sex a try, do your best to find someone you trust to introduce you to that world. It’s much less likely you’ll end up hurt or feel like you’ve been taken advantage of.

 

Different Types of Taboo Sex

Taboo Sex

Sexual exploration can be a wonderful experience for you and your partner(s). For many people, sex isn’t only about the physical interaction that takes place in the bedroom with the lights off. 

There’s a whole lot that feeds into the sexual experience, whether it be power dynamics, connecting with experience or emotion from a different stage of your life, or releasing emotions or feelings you repress in your everyday life.

Here are some of the common types of taboo sex and what they involve:

 

Bondage

Bondage is a common form of sexual power play where one partner ties up, handcuffs, or otherwise restricts the movement of the other. Some people get extremely turned on by a feeling of being dominated or helpless. Likewise, others enjoy being the dominant sexual partner.

 

Humiliation

Erotic humiliation is a consensual activity that involves some form of humiliation that triggers sexual arousal. Often it involves sexual roleplay like you or your partner kneeling and performing humiliating tasks. Humiliation can also involve punishments that are meant to turn you or your partner on.

 

Group Sex

This is a bit less taboo than humiliation or bondage, but that’s mainly because it’s featured more regularly in movies or sexual fantasies. 

Still, group sex is considered taboo, because sometimes it involves people you may not know. It can also mean more than just three people.

 

Partner Sharing

This is sometimes called cuckolding and refers to when you or your partner will ask another person, stranger or friend, to have sex with your partner. Some people experience sexual arousal watching or knowing their partner is having sex with someone else.

 

Fetishes

Fetish is generally believed to be something you or someone else can’t get sexually aroused without. 

That might sound tame enough, yet fetishes vary widely, and they usually involve something that’s not usually thought to be sexual like feet or eating during sex. Some people have a fetish that involves ruining their orgasm just as it’s about to happen.

 

You Only Live Once

If you’re completely satisfied with your sex life, I’m not telling you to go out and try a little humiliation sex to see if it’s for you. A lot of the time, people know they’re into some form of taboo sex, but stop themselves from trying it out of fear of being judged or shamed.

That’s not good news. What you’ll end up with is life feeling sexually frustrated. And it’s not just you that it affects. Your partner will be able to sense that something’s wrong. If you’re into one of the above taboo sexual behaviors, or something else I haven’t covered here, the best thing you can do is come to grips with it.

 

Repeat after me, as long as it’s consensual behavior between two adults, then it’s not out of bounds. Remember, sex is about fun, it’s playful, it’s hot, and it’s complicated. We’ve come a long way in the past few decades removing the stigma from a lot of what’s considered taboo sex. The more willing you are to think about it and accept any kinks you might have, the further you’ll go. 

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Perfect Sex Getaway

Secrets to Your Perfect Sex Getaway

/in , , , , /by

Secrets to Your Perfect Sex Getaway

 

Long-time couples know the power of a sex getaway all too well. You’re not worried about the headboard slamming against the wall waking the kids up. 

It’s a chance to let loose and moan a little louder. Sex getaways are also the best way to shake free of the “Wednesday night sex routine” rut we all run into from time to time.

The sex getaway is also the perfect way to level up with someone you’ve just started dating. If you feel like you want to try something new or mess around with some ideas in the sack, then the getaway is the best way to let your partner know.

Don’t take things for granted and think that your partner will know what’s going on just because you booked a nice hotel room for the weekend. You’ve got to do more work to make sure things go off smoothly.

Take some time and plan the sex getaway. Here are a few tips you can try to have some of the best sex of your life.

 

Your Sexual Itinerary

Planning a sex getaway with your partner is a big opportunity because it gives you both the space to explore. You’re taken out of the day to day environment where you’re stressed about work, kids’ activities, or the finances.

Don’t leave things up to chance, though. Put some thought into what you want to accomplish and experience while the two of you are alone. You can make it like a mini sexual workshop where you can try new things and get to know each other more deeply.

Set up a playbook that lists the days’ activities. For example, you can start by arranging to meet at a nice restaurant separately and have fun with a bit of roleplaying. You and your partner can list out new products like lubes, vibrators, or handcuffs that you want to try out. Work in some sensual activities like massaging each other when you’re not having sex.

 

Let the Beat Build

On your sex getaway or your first one at least, start slowly to build a foundation. If you’ve been married for years and have never had anal sex, it will catch your partner off guard if you walk into the hotel room and announce your intentions to attack their behind.

Instead, start with the basic positions and sexual interplay you’re both used to. The first time you have sex will already be more fun and interesting because you’re in a new setting. Make sure you compliment your partner and encourage them to move here, a kiss there, and get comfortable expressing themselves. That will help rev things up for later on in the trip.

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Push the Boundaries

Look, everyone has sexual fantasies. It’s all about how comfortable we are expressing them. When we’re in the throes of our busy lives, it’s easy to just blow off our deep thoughts about sex because we think we have more important things to worry about. 

After all, the sex we’re having already is pretty great anyway, right?

A sex getaway gives you the chance to level up and push the boundaries of you and your partner’s sexual relationship. Sex is one of the most fulfilling pieces of any bond between people. The closer you become in your intimacy, it will play out in other aspects of your relationship and life!

Use the getaway to try out new positions, power dynamics, and whatever else is your fancy. The getaway creates a safe space where you can try new things and see if they work for you. If not, then hey, they can be left behind in the hotel room after you leave.

 

Perfect Sex GetawayUse Your Imagination to Create Scenarios

Everyone loves a weekend at the Four Seasons and boozy brunch with their lover. If you book the upscale sex getaway, you’re going to score some major points for sure. However, it doesn’t have to be the same thing all the time. The next thing you know, you’ll be in the sex getaway rut just like your sex routine at home!

Use the sex getaway to craft specific scenarios that can play out and let your sexual imagination fly. Try whatever has the best chance to shake you from the tried and true positions and interplay with your partner. If you’re in the city, book a weekend ranch getaway where you can pretend to be ranch hands. Go out of town further and role play that you’re having an illicit affair.

Each scenario will be driven by you and your partner’s sexual fantasies. Remember, some people dream about getting bent over a rickety bed in a seedy motel along the freeway. Rose petals in the jacuzzi tub and Moet are great yet not for everyone all the time.

 

Pick Up the Pace A Bit – No Excuses!

Make sure a sex getaway is just that. Have all the trips to Miami on the weekend you can manage. We’re not trying to tell you that you can’t have normal vacations. This shouldn’t be one of them, though.

And don’t let how long you’ve been married or your age slow you down. “But we’re good with sex once a week” you might say. That’s fine, and do your best to let your sex getaway be mainly about sex! Yes – I said sex!

Whatever your normal frequency is, try to pump things up a bit on your getaway to get the romantic juices flowing and give yourselves a boost going forward.

When you’re not knocking boots, fill your time with touch and intimate communication. Learn more about yourself and your partner’s sexual desires so you can have a more fulfilled intimate relationship when it’s time to go home.

Remember, small details will make a huge difference. Make sure you have a sex playlist on your phone to plug in when things start steaming up. Share the itinerary with your partner so they know what’s in store, and let them help plan the trip if that’s what they’re into. The sex getaway can be your gateway into incredible sex more often.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

good in bed

Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

/in , , , , , /by

Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

 

There’s no one “magic secret” on how to be good in bed – there are many!

The best lovers are made, not created. 

Sex therapists get asked all the time how their clients can be better in bed. That’s like walking into a behavioral therapist and demanding, “Fix what’s wrong with me!” It doesn’t work like that.

All of us want to be better in bed. Hopefully, all of us do. 

Wanting to feel better, please your partner, last longer, experiment, have fun, and read the intimate mood better is a great desire. 

We can only hope that we come in contact with people like that in our lives. 

But getting good in bed, or having sex skills, if you will, takes work.

And that’s good news! Sex, like anything worth doing, is worth doing well. 

To master something as intricate as sex, with its innuendos, different turn-ons, hormones, and moods can be a lifelong pursuit. Also, everyone’s different. 

Each of us has different emotional and physical desires; we are all on a sexual spectrum. What you like during sex can be different from someone else’s. 

What’s crazier, is that what you like during sex with one person can completely change from day to day!

 

Touch Here Kiss There

good in bed

I know we just got done telling you there aren’t any black and white answers to getting better in bed. Let’s just caveat this a bit. In general, if you rub a penis long gently, it will feel good. Apply a tongue to a clitoris, and yes, people will usually say it gives them a pleasant feeling.

To be good in bed, it’s sort of expected that you do some homework and generally, you understand the sexual anatomy and pleasure zones of the body you’re trying to please. 

There are plenty of how-to guides, some of them on our site, on how to perform good oral sex, the anatomy of sexual organs, and other basics.

Don’t let basic fool you! Just because you know what a blowjob looks like and have done it once, doesn’t mean you’re a master. Practice makes perfect in sex as in everything else in life. Jump in and give things a try.

Whether with one partner, many partners, or yourself, become as familiar as you can with bodies and what you can do to make them feel good.

 

Don’t Be Scared to Act a Fool

Unless you’re completely uncomfortable with something, recognize that the only way you’re going to get good is to realize you’re not right now. 

If you’ve never had anal sex and your partner is begging for it, don’t let your inexperience deter you.

Everyone’s made a fool of themselves during sex. Bodies make noises, they look silly sometimes, we try moves but don’t quite pull them off. 

No, you may not want to go for that one crazy move you say online on the first date, but maybe by the third, you can give it a shot!

 

Start Slow Build from There

If we’re honest, if we’re REALLY honest with ourselves, we all know there’s some kink inside of each of us. We are all a bit freaky. Some of us have fetishes we’d never tell our closest platonic friends. 

Sex is where we get to pull the curtain back a bit on our sexual desires. It’s where we and our partners (hopefully!) get to truly express ourselves.

Great sex always involves a measure of playful kink. Whether you’re into dirty talking, role-playing, or light BDSM, we all have that thing that can turn good sex into great sex. 

You probably still think about that one time with that one person where they did that thing and it sent your eyes rolling in the back of your head. 

Sometimes though, this person can do the same thing on a different day, and you aren’t feeling it!

Finding fantastic sex and getting better in bed can certainly be helped by encouraging open expression in the bedroom. Not only do you need to feel comfortable enough to initiate a sixty-nine, but you have to be the kind of person that makes your partner comfortable as well. The best way to go about that is to start small and build from there.

A lot of times, when sex happens, it’s an act of feeling each other out. Most of that’s literal, but there’s a good deal of emotional feeling out as well. They want to know if you’re the kind of person they can be themselves around and vice versa. It may not be the best idea to ask your partner to slip on that police officer outfit the first time they’re in your bedroom. It can be a shock.

What you need to do, though, is start small and create a comfort zone. “You’re a bad girl!” may not be the best opener if you’re into dirty talk. Instead, start small.

Something like “You’re so hot!” is a bit more watered down. If your partner responds with, “I love it when you lick me there”, then you’re in business! You can level up until you and your partner feel like you can let your kink flag fly. That’s when the real fun begins.

 

Great Sex is Often About Compatibility

You can be with partners that tell you that you’re amazing in bed. You’re incredible, have other-worldly stamina, and a fantastic body. It’s an incredible feeling to be with someone who validates you and encourages you sexually.

What’s weird, though, is that when you’re with another partner down the line, you try the same things and the results aren’t the same. Sex, indeed, great sex, has a lot to do with personal compatibility. We’ve all felt it.

There are just some people we’re around where there’s a palpable sexual connection. Other times, we force the sexual connection. According to a 2013 article The impact of sexual compatibility on sexual and relationship satisfaction in a sample of young adult heterosexual couples, it said that:

The strongest predictor of sexual satisfaction, after accounting for relationship satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility. Similarly, the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction, after accounting for sexual satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility.

This is absolutely not to say that if sex isn’t great now, it never will be. You just have to be willing to do the work to make it great. That includes frank discussions about what you want/need sexually, and what your partner needs as well. There’s nothing wrong with sexual feedback sessions.

When giving or soliciting feedback, avoid negatives. Start by accentuating the positives. “I really liked it when you did that…”, or “Oh my god when you started doing that it was incredible.” That will help your partner clue in on what you want. On the other hand, you can also actively seek feedback on how you’re doing. It may be a bit much to get live feedback while you’re having sex but take note of responsive cues from your partner when you touch them or kiss them a certain way.

Getting good at sex takes work. It’s probably the most fun work you’ll ever do, though. Start small, take some chances, and try new things! Life’s too short to get caught up in insecurities over how we look. Remember, practice makes perfect, so get out there and practice!

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Psychosexual therapy

Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

/in , , , , , , /by

Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

 

Psychosexual therapy exercises are one of the most common reasons people come to sex therapy!

Power dynamics can play a role in our intimate relationships, yet that’s not to say that power dynamics are static. They are fluid and change as we change and become different people. Sometimes we are the mentor, and sometimes we need to be the one being mentored. Sometimes we want to be led, and other times we want to chart the path.

In every relationship, there is an exchange. It begins during the courtship process, where we attract potential partners with our inclination to show empathy, our lovemaking abilities, or our ability to provide and protect.

If you’re honest, you know what we mean. In every relationship, there’s an exchange that goes on. It may be physical or emotional, but you are essentially giving something for something else in return. You may be giving it graciously, but you’re giving and receiving, nonetheless.

That’s one of the reasons there is a persistent fear of sex work. Buried underneath our fear or proclaimed disapproval of sex work is knowing that there is always a rate of exchange in all relationships.

 

The Relationship Corporation

Remember the last time you fell in love? Or the first time? It’s an amazing feeling, hard to explain, but oh so incredible. If someone asked you “why?” about the person you love, you’d probably let out a sigh and think of the words to explain something so hard to verbalize.

Love is unconditional. Relationships, on the other hand, take agreements. Think about it. You might fall in love with someone who currently has no job, but would you stay with them if they never planned on ever getting one?

Your demands for equitable exchange become more evident as you start developing a committed relationship. There are certain things you want, and certain things you are willing to give. Some things you can’t live without, and others you can let slide. It’s all a process of getting your needs met and finding someone you care enough about to meet their needs. 

 

 

How Exchange Leads to a Fulfilling Sex Life 

Money and sex. These two issues are what the vast majority of couples talk about with therapists all over the world. They’re the main driver for divorce and have destroyed many a marriage or partnership.

If you think about it, the underlying reason so many people struggle with sex is that they feel there is an unfair exchange dynamic in their relationship. Whether you want more sex, better sex, or less sex, if you and your partner aren’t on the same page, or don’t work to improve any incompatibilities, it can spell trouble.

While there is something to be said for being sexually compatible with your partner, some people grow into their sexual potential. Here are some psychosexual exercises you can do to create a more fulfilling sex life and ultimately a better relationship with your partner.

 

Create a Connection Through Eye Contact:

When was the last time you held eye contact with your partner for a long period? When was the last time you did it while you were having sex? Holding eye contact can be incredibly uncomfortable at first. You may feel silly or vulnerable. After you get past the awkward stage, however, you are transported to a place of deep connection.

Psychosexual therapy

 

Tap the Oxytocin Well:

Oxytocin is a hormone in your brain that drives bonding and sexual reproduction. When you’re trying to create a better sexual relationship with your partner, you must understand what drives their oxytocin release. Frequently, touching, relaxing, and orgasms trigger the release of oxytocin.

Spend the time necessary to find out how your partner likes to be touched, what they like when you’re making love, and what to avoid.

 

Give a Massage:

Giving a sensual massage is a wonderful way to relax the body. When you’re in a relaxed state, your breathing is more centered, you’re more in tune with your body, and you’re more open to intimacy.

Give your partner a sensual massage by spending about an hour massaging their body. Use the time to help them relax muscles in the back, shoulders, and neck, but also focus on intimate areas like the inner thighs and butt cheeks. Massage by circling into those areas and then moving away. Repeat that a few times. You’ll gradually increase your partner’s anticipation and it can be a bit of fun teasing before sex. 

 

Eradicate Anxiety:

Nervousness inhibits sexual performance. It can be harder to get an erection, climax, or just plain relax and enjoy yourself. Whenever you feel intense feelings of shame, fear, or anxiety, your brain and body enter fight or flight mode. It releases adrenaline which triggers blood flow away from extremities and your genitals. That means it’s harder to become aroused. When you’re relaxed, your parasympathetic system is in overdrive, pushing blood to your genitals and increasing arousal.

It’s important to note that there’s no, “It’s just me” here. People who are anxious or nervous dealing with sex aren’t facing some simplistic mental block. They’re also dealing with physiological issues. Overcoming them takes time and working with a sex therapist can help. 

 

Consent & Choice!

The sex exchange isn’t just about when two people agree to offer and receive sex. A lot of the time, what happens during sex is also up for negotiation. You might have a particular fantasy or want to dress a certain way. Your partner may want to introduce toys or other sex aids into the picture.

You might have the desire to spank, hair pull, or try some BDSM. This is something you can negotiate together. For example, if I want my butt slapped, I would negotiate with my partner a situation where I can calibrate where I want to be touched, the intensity rating on a (1-10), and the type of hit I am looking for.

I would tap and then they can spank. I would rate it as a number (for example a 5) and then say I was looking for something more intense, and can I get their version of a 7. Then I would tap, and they would spank at a 7.

Being free to express yourself sexually is one of the best things about being in a committed relationship with a partner you can trust.

Consent and choice are not only about negotiating a sexual fantasy. Some people struggle with intimacy because they have a history of trauma. This changes the picture. They may be dealing with past abuse, strict religious morality, and other inhibitions that make sexual expression a struggle.

One of the antidotes to trauma and abuse is CONTROL and CHOICE. I’ve found that being able to negotiate the terms of sexual encounters with our partners, and using the above psychosexual exercises, can help you overcome inhibitions and become ok with sexual expression. 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Tantric Sex Therapist

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

/in , , , , /by

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

 

Tantric sex therapy can be a life-changing form of counseling that can alter the course of your intimacy and loving relationships. 

People involved in tantra are deeply curious about the exploration of sex, taking it from something that at times can seem simple, transforming it into a deeper, more meaningful experience.

For a lot of people, sex is an activity about the release. People treat it like it’s a primal urge that serves to reduce tension and experience a fleeting moment of pleasure. 

It becomes routine, a “weekend-only” appointment between couples. With the stress of daily life hovering over us constantly, pressure enters the bedroom, and sex suffers.

Tantric sex therapy can help you become more in tune with your mind and body, allowing you to connect physically and emotionally during sex. It elevates the sexual connection you have with yourself and your partner.

 

Meeting with a Tantric Sex Therapist

First of all, here’s what you need to know about tantric sex therapists. They’ve dedicated at least hundreds of hours to learning their practice and working under the supervision of licensed therapists and trainers. 

To become certified, they have to meet stringent requirements laid out by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). 

This involved earning an advanced clinical degree and extensive clinical experience.

When you first meet with a tantric sex therapist, there will be a feeling-out process. 

They’ll want to know your motivations for undertaking tantra sex therapy and try to understand where you are currently emotionally and as a lover. 

Remember, sex therapy is a process of exploration meant to help you become a better lover and ultimately experience sex and life in a more positive way.

Additionally, seeing a sex therapist isn’t just about learning how to give a better blow job or engage in lengthier foreplay. 

Licensed clinicians can help you if you’re dealing with issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and other challenges. It’s a process designed for sexual healing and sexual pleasure.

 

Somatic Sexology in Therapy Sessions

Some AASECT-Certified Sex Therapists have other practitioners who weave somatic experiencing and tantra in their practice with clients. 

Somatic sexology is a more embodied form of sex therapy that is designed to improve the connection between mind and body pertaining to sex and intimacy.

Many people, for a number of reasons including religious backgrounds, cultural norms, trauma, and other personal history have trouble connecting pleasure with bodily sensations. 

They are disconnected from their own bodies, and as a result, can recoil or resist sexual pleasure. 

It’s hard for them to relax during sex, which prevents them from connecting with themselves or their partners. 

This can lead to complications trying to achieve orgasm and frustrations in intimate relationships.

A tantric sex therapist focuses on the power of breath, sound, and movement to help you or a loved one overcome difficulties relaxing and engaging sexually.

 

Breath

Breath is an often-overlooked factor in sexual health. Many people, over the course of a sexual encounter, will hold their breath or breathe too rapidly. Tantric Sex Therapist

When this happens, the body can interpret the stress as dangerous, and begin to tense up. Improper breathing makes orgasming harder and will disrupt the flow of sexual connection.

A tantric sex therapist can help you understand how your breathing is affecting your sexual life. They can give you breathing techniques that will help you relax and gain greater control over your body. 

Better breath control improves blood flow and oxygenation that results in a more relaxed, stimulating sexual experience.

 

Sound

Sound therapy is another way a tantric sex therapist can help you destress and engage more consciously.

Therapists use calming music, white noise, and other sounds to help you relax and center your mind and body. 

Think about the sounds you hear during sex and what kind of response they trigger. If you’re a parent, the sound of crying or bullying can destroy any sexual desire. 

Likewise, if the TV is on, radio, or other kinds of music and noise that detract from the experience.

Therapists help use sound to improve your sexual mood. They can also help you understand how different words or speech can elicit positive or negative sexual responses. 

That’s great news for partners who struggle with what to say to turn you on.

 

Movement

The final component of Tantra is using movement and sexual positions to enhance or highlight pleasure and arousal. It helps you become more comfortable with intimate touch. 

The techniques will improve nonverbal communication between you and your partner and help you achieve sexual breakthroughs.

Learning new positions and how to move can also help you orgasm more easily. They can even be longer-lasting and more intense. 

People who practice tantric sex frequently experience full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms.

 

Tantric Sex for Mind-Body Alignment

Tantric sex therapy helps increase the mind-body connection in those who are open to sexual exploration. Good therapists know that everyone starts their sexual journey from different points. 

People who experience roadblocks to feeling comfortable with physical touch will need different suggestions than those looking for better orgasms. 

Tantric sex therapists will work with you to have better, more meaningful sex wherever you are.

Don’t get stuck in a sexual rut! 

Learning about and practicing simple tantric sex exercises are fun and a great way to grow a sexual connection between you and your partner. 

What’s even more fun is that the more you practice, the better you become. As you master the breathing, sound, and movement techniques, your sexual experiences will be more fulfilling. When the sex is great, it can be hard to complain about anything else.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

No Sexual Desire

How To Go From No Sexual Desire to Willing in 15 Steps!

/in , , , /by

How To Go From No Sexual Desire to Willing in 15 Steps!

By Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT AASECT CST & CE Provider

I wrote this out for a few clients of mine that felt no sexual desire for their partners after 20+ years of sex and self-pleasure. These individuals wanted the option of “how to set the mood” without using Role Play. 

Prerequisite – WILLINGNESS

  1. TIME! You know this one. I am going to break it down ANYWAY. But don’t forget it. Set a time. If you can’t find the time then you are sending a message to your partner that they are not a priority to you. The sexual connection we have must be a priority in a monogamous romantic relationship. If it isn’t, your partner and you won’t be fulfilled by one another and there will be no sexual desire. TIME TOGETHER SHOWS LOVE. No Sexual Desire
  2. Showering. To me, the shower is a reset. Take a shower with dimighting.. Always have a nightlight 24/7 in the bathroom if possible. (are you by yourself or with a partner?)
  3. Setting the scene. Keep your bathroom and bedroom as clutter-free as possible that night. Keep children or your pets away from the space if possible. We want to bring AWARENESS to the amazingness that is about to happen.
  4. Clean, black or dark scrumptious SOFT sheets.
  5. Light candles in your bedroom, and have water and light snacks, such as fruit ready. 
  6. Brush your teeth, floss and use mouthwash. . Not because you have to, but because it’s nice to go the extra step for the person you love.
  7. Smell is CRITICAL. Do NOT put on any perfume,cologne, or scented ANYTHING – enjoy each other’s natural scent.
  8. FINALLY, it’s time to get together. TAKE THREE DEEP BREATHS IN and OUT while looking into each others eyes and smiling (you can blink).
  9. Discuss the need you are trying to get met.Oral Sex For Woman

 

  1. Pick the “personas” you want to be in to get those top 1 or 2 needs for each of you met, or decide to focus on one of you one week and then one of you the next week. Personas / roles can include, but are not limited to the following: the school girl / teacher role play, the “wife / husband” newlyweds, the college, wild, party parts, the primal parts,  the make-up sex part, the Dom/sub parts, the young, playful parts, or something else? 
  2. Pick a playlist. And set a time for how long the phones and TVs will be off. Stay in an intimate space with your partner unless there is a life or death emergency. Nothing else matters. NOTHING. Prioritize and focus.

And then the night begins. You can do anything in here that fits with the roles of those mentalities that would meet the needs you discussed. If you need help with suggestions, message me with roles and I can help.

  1. End the night by saying what you are THANKFUL for in that experience and what you want to try again next time or try MORE of. No insults here. Appreciations only.
  2. Drink water, and blow out the candles with INTENTION and RESPECT. Sex magic and adult play is so amazing, because it is an exciting way to turn no sexual desire into sexual ectasy. 
  3. Turn off the music. Wash all props, sex toys, lube off of everything. Put away anything you don’t want to get altered by children or pets.                                                                                                                                                                                                    
  4. End scene. Use the bathroom.. Get a snack. Lay together and talk about what went well. 

Bonus:  Shower if you want. Journal about it if you want.

No sexual desire can happen to all of us, we just have to be willing to find a way. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.