How Long Does Sex Last On Average

How Long Does Sex Last On Average? Myths Debunked!

How Long Does Sex Last On Average? Myths Debunked!

 

How Long Does Sex Last On Average?

We are going to answer the question of How Long Does Sex Last On Average for those of you that are cisgender and heterosexual  – engaging in PVI.

Come understand what is too short for sex and how long does sex last on average and what is desired?

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Teens Sex Talk: Everything You Needed To Know

Teens Sex Talk: Everything You Needed To Know

 

Teens sex talk is one of the most significant and impacting conversations parents can have with our kids. Therefore, we must take a deliberate and considered approach.

You might be lucky enough for your kid to approach you directly with inquiries. You will probably need to talk about each topic as they come. It might happen when your teenager asked about a well-known song about a failed relationship. Maybe it is when you catch their eyes light up when they spot someone they find attractive. Or perhaps it will happen when you find a condom in a desk drawer (hopefully sooner than that!).

Perhaps you discover that the subject will be covered in health class and want your child to know that you are always a reliable resource. Once you start talking, every subsequent exchange will be more relaxed.

Let’s Talk About Sex … And Then Again … And Again

Let’s not pretend that discussions about sex and sexuality are easy to start, even though we recognize their fundamental necessity. To help make it a little bit easier, we decided to write this article. Please keep in mind that this shouldn’t be “The Talk.” That suggests that it is a singular experience, after which you are done talking about it. That puts the subject under far too much pressure. Sexuality and sex talk are meant to be continual topics of discussion.

 

It should be a comfortable conversation that develops over time and where your beliefs around healthy sexuality are persistently reinforced. It is crucial to teach young people how to make healthy and safer sexual decisions in addition to the relevant sexuality-related information. According to research, parents who are upfront with their children about their sexuality impact their sexual practices as they mature.

Let’s be clear: Sex is not the same as sexuality. A healthy regard for our bodies and respect for others are only two of the many topics that make up the complex topic of sexuality. Human connections are entwined with healthy sexuality. Contrarily, the sexual activity involves physical activities that, when done sensibly and with the appropriate person at the right time, may be a magnificent aspect of the human experience. To enter adulthood in good health, adolescents must learn about both.

Feeling Comfortable Talking About Sex

It varies from person to person how comfortable they feel talking about sexual health issues. We can admit that discussing sex is uncomfortable as long as we equally admit that we transmit our discomfort to others. It will go more smoothly, and your kid will feel more at ease approaching you if you can get comfortable more. Also, keep in mind that there are numerous concerns related to sex and sexuality. It is OK to only address certain concerns and rely on other dependable adults in your community, especially specialists, to address situations outside your comfort zone.

Knowing the truth leads to feeling more at ease with everything that has to do with sex. These young people must learn the fundamentals. They need to be ready for changes as they approach puberty in their bodies, emotions, and sexual experiences. Many reliable, trustworthy sites can show you how to provide information that is age and developmentally appropriate for children. Keep in mind that there are some subjects in which you are already an expert that books cannot teach. Although these aren’t “facts,” they are nonetheless quite significant. 

Don’t Exclude Values

Your adolescent can find out about the specifics of puberty and growth in a variety of settings. The internet, books, and health classes are among the examples. You must make sure that they pick up these principles of healthy sexuality from you. If you and other people in their lives don’t talk about these issues, they will get their morals from the internet, TV, and music. 

In the worst situation, youngsters might pick up harmful and uncomfortable portrayals of sex and sexuality through internet pornography. Additionally, they will pick up values from their friends, which may be positive yet are not always seasoned by life.

Don’t Forget to Discuss Safety

We are aware that teenagers value their parents’ advice and that instilling parental knowledge in children is essential to setting them up for future success. We also know that teenagers reject parental advice when they feel it intrudes on their privacy, yet cherish it when it helps them negotiate the world shrewdly and safely. 

This information is essential in guiding our discussions about sex and sexuality, which can surely feel extremely, intensely personal. So, if you discuss particular relationships, you’re probably getting too intimate. Similar to this, if you inquire about your teen’s specific sexual activities, you are likely entering uneasy territory and risk provoking a rejection.

On the other hand, keeping talks casual enables you to have extremely serious conversations more successfully and comfortably. Young people believe that it is the responsibility of their parents to keep them safe, and we often talk about healthy sexual practices while talking about safety issues. Also, emotional security is on the line. We need to talk about respect for one another and ourselves. Limits and personal boundaries. Observe the oral and nonverbal cues of others to avoid engaging in acts that they do not want.

Don’t Assume

Don’t assume that simply because things seem to be happening quickly, young people are knowledgeable or informed about everything. Our children deserve factual knowledge about sexuality that is presented clearly and is rooted in the ideals of self-preservation and respect for others. We deprive people of the fundamental knowledge that is the cornerstone of healthy sexuality when we presume they know too much. That means that we must begin by learning how our bodies work and the beauty of love connections as well as the potential for manipulative or exploitative ones.

Conclusion

Teenagers claim that their parents—not friends—have the greatest impact on their sex decisions, yet only if their parents communicate with them. Having open and honest discussions about sexuality so enables us to mold our kids into people who will be better prepared for healthy, meaningful relationships, as challenging as they may at times seem.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Is Bush Back In Style?

Is Bush Back In Style?

 

Is bush back in style for vulvas?

To shave or not to shave!

That is the question. If you think your pubic hair is part of desire or arousal yet you’re worried what others are doing, this video is for you.

To shave or not to shave is often the question when we wonder if bush is back.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

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Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

DEI Coach

DEI Coach: Supporting Diversity, Equity & Inclusivity 

DEI Coach: Supporting Diversity, Equity & Inclusivity 

 

Although leadership coaching is a well-known concept, a DEI coach will elevate leadership to a whole new level. The acronym DEI stands for diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) and allows trained DEI professionals to help others through coaching to develop inclusive, authentic leadership at the highest levels.

The DEI coaching is not a typical leadership development experience, where a coach watches from the sidelines, offers suggestions and then throws the individual to the wolves. It’s a time-consuming exercise that transforms and teaches how to achieve the things mentioned below:

  • improving cultural sensitivity,
  • encouraging equity at work,
  • adopting a deliberate strategy,
  • demonstrating courageous communication,
  • bolstering a workable DEI approach,
  • encouraging a sense of community.

The Role of a DEI Coach

Executives can dive headfirst into inclusive leadership with the help of DEI coaching. When applied, leadership starts to act on its commitments to inclusion and diversity rather than just talking the talk and not doing anything about it. Executives are becoming more responsible for the strategies, plans, and initiatives that enhance DEI in the organization. 

Together, leaders and the coach discuss the objectives, key performance indicators (KPIs), and problems facing the business. After that, they build a unique and actionable DEI leadership development strategy. The leadership team can then successfully continue with their efforts with the assistance of a qualified coach.

A company’s executives might not be aware of how inclusion, equity, and diversity are reflected in the workplace. They won’t be able to lead well or solve challenges if diversity issues are invisible to them. A DEI coach can help in that situation by doing a social dynamics audit of the business and guiding the leadership team in identifying workplace injustices. 

Leadership will be in a better position to plan and carry out programming and strategic initiatives in the future when they can see and understand the dynamics of DEI in the organization. Coaching puts the executives in a better position to contribute meaningfully to the initiatives even if they aren’t the ones in charge of the implementation directly.

How DEI Coaching Affects Organizations

The fear of making mistakes is one of the main obstacles to business success. Many members of the leadership teams can have high ideals for inclusion and diversity yet be afraid to take risks or make mistakes. The anxiety of wrongdoing is reduced with a DEI coach. 

More importantly, a DEI coach will provide a safe environment for leadership to experiment with various tactics. A team is often able to expand on the DEI programming and implement the changes that radically alter the workplace culture of the company in the safe space that a coach fosters.

Being open and candid about DEI difficulties at work is not always simple. A significant opportunity for progress arises when your leadership team has a secure space to share opinions, worries, and views around DEI. You may lower your guard, be honest, and practice fearless communication with DEI coaching. By being open with your DEI coach, you and your team may be inspired to challenge constricting viewpoints and adopt more accepting, diversity-conscious practices.

It is ideal to have a coach on hand for guidance if there is a fire in the office caused by problems with diversity, equity, and inclusion. As problems arise, a DEI coach can provide continuing support in real-time. If you see that your team is frequently experiencing issues with diversity, equity. And inclusion, put a DEI coach on the fast dial so they can offer advice when necessary.

Lastly, DEI plans appear to be a fantastic idea on paper, yet stakeholders, potential employees. And other parties want to see evidence of your company’s commitment to the project. Prospects are strongly influenced when they realize that your business takes DEI seriously. It creates a welcoming atmosphere that could eventually increase your business’s marketability. Your organization can be recognized as a good place to work and partner with because of the leadership team’s commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion.

DEI Coaching As a Long-term Solution

Because it takes more than one training session to become a coach and because developing a coaching culture within an organization requires significant change, coaching has never been and will never be a quick fix. Instead, coaching should be a long-term approach to fostering an accepting culture, one that is founded on caring, open, and productive dialogues.

The culmination of every individual conduct is the company culture. No matter how big or small, a change in an organization always begins with one person acting differently. Because coaching enables employees to speak with one another, significant improvements can be achieved that will help the business move forward.

Every time we assist a business with the implementation of a coaching program or deal with DEI concerns, we keep in mind that businesses are made up of people. And for change to be accomplished at the organizational level, these people will need to look beyond themselves to recognize a pattern of prejudice. The dialogue you have with others and with yourself should and can serve as the beginning of that shift. We may make significant strides toward increasing workplace diversity if coaching can help to steer these talks in a compassionate, open, and constructive direction.

Coaching that Confronts Bias

Companies’ traditional approaches to diversity and inclusion training have had mixed results in terms of developing leaders. Leaders depart with knowledge yet without the abilities to affect change. Results will last longer if coaching programs and DEI programs are combined. Coaching may build the skills required to develop inclusive workplace environments and increase employee engagement. High-performing firms make coaching available to managers and staff at all levels.

When it comes to diversity, equity, and inclusion, DEI coaching can mean the difference between putting your plans on hold and successfully implementing a meaningful DEI strategy. It makes sense that not all businesses are able to employ internal DEI personnel. Employing a DEI coach can be a potent substitute. The moment has come for your business to put its diversity, equity, and inclusion goals into action and foster an inclusive workplace environment.

 

DEI Consultant

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Pro Domme Dating Advice for Married Couples

Pro Domme Dating Advice for Married Couples

 

Pro domme dating advices for married couples who feel rejected and lonely in the relationship. If you feel no desire or arousal yet youre best friends, you may want advice to pro domme it up.

Pro dommes truly know just like marriage and family therapists that couples suffer in silence.

If you feel overwhelmed or have settled for a relationship that does not fulfill you, here we have some pro domme advice for you

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Self Help Video

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Anger Management Counseling – Get Video Help Now

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sexual Freedom: Protect Your Rights By Voting

Sexual Freedom: Protect Your Rights By Voting

 

Sexual freedom is a fundamental right that every human has. It is at the heart of our dignity, equality, and civil liberties captured in the U.S. Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Our sexuality is a natural, fundamental, and valuable aspect of life that cannot be prescribed or legislated. As humans, we should always strive to acknowledge, protect, and celebrate our sexual freedom because they are part of human rights.

Unfortunately, many events in the everyday lives of Americans have been affecting our freedom, and one of the recent ones concerns our sexual rights. To win these short-term races, many politicians use sexual freedom as a tool to get more votes and defeat their opponents in their beliefs and values. You might not be interested in politics (neither are we), yet politics is very much interested in you, especially your sexual freedom.

Ignoring the impact politics has on our lives leads to our lives being guided by people who don’t represent what we stand for and believe in. That is why we need to protect our rights by voting for those who will protect them with us. We’ll refrain from commenting on politicians and parties and analyze how those considered leaders shape our future and affect our lives.

What Is Sexual Freedom? 

To truly understand this problem, we must first understand what sexual freedom is. Fundamental human rights that are focused on sexual freedom include:

  • rights to equality and non-discrimination,
  • the right to be free from torture or any cruel, inhumane, or degrading treatment/punishment,
  • the right to privacy,
  • rights to the highest standard of health possible – including sexual health – and social security,
  • the right to marry and found a family with the free and full consent of involved individuals, and equality during and at the dissolution of marriage,
  • the right to decide the number and spacing of their children,
  • rights to information and education,
  • the rights to freedom of opinion and expression, 
  • the right to an effective remedy in case of a fundamental right violation.

Going through this list, you might feel confused about the terms ‘sexual freedom’ and ‘sexual rights’. Although they are often considered synonyms, there cannot be sexual freedom if there is a violation of even one sexual right. You are not a free being if any of the rights from the list above gets violated, including sexual rights.

And violating a human right doesn’t require an aggressive method, especially in the public arena. As we’re used to associating the word ‘violation’ with aggressive and violent human behaviors, we assume that attempts or acts that are less physically aggressive or visual are not as serious, bad, or concerning as the more obvious ones. And that is where we are all wrong.

Attacking Our Sexual Freedom

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been hearing a lot about Roe v. Wade. On June 24th, 2022, millions of women across the United States lost their right to decide over their bodies once the Supreme Court overturned abortion rights in half of the states. That led to further political discussions where 26 states are considering how to completely ban or severely restrict abortion, with already 13 states with trigger laws. 

This event is not impactful just because it affects more than one state in the United States. It has been a number one topic in the media because it is a pure presentation of a violation of human rights. Just because there is no physical act of aggression doesn’t make it less terrifying. 

According to the Guttmacher Institute, there were 930,160 abortions in 2020. If all states were to ban or restrict abortion, this would mean that a million women in the U.S. would be denied to decide over their bodies. One million women would be denied their freedom and fundamental human rights. Almost 50 years ago, back in 1973, the Supreme Court legalized the abortion in Roe v. Wade case. Why are we going back to when women were not given adequate medical care and support and were denied their rights?

Effects of Losing Sexual Freedom

In this case, unfortunately, history repeats itself. Instead of going into politics and understanding why someone would use abortion as a way to win elections and improve their public image, let’s consider what happens on a more individual level.

Anytime someone is denied their sexual freedom or any other type of freedom, they are not able to eliminate a part of themselves to fit in better. For instance, a pregnant woman who doesn’t want to proceed with her pregnancy cannot just become un-pregnant because abortion is illegal in her country. A man who is in love with another man and wants to contract a same-sex marriage with them will not suddenly stop being gay just because they live in a community that is not open-minded.

That leads to a wide spectrum of people who fall out of the public sphere. The United States must provide each individual with equal human rights and protect these rights by all means possible. However, there is still a lot of room for improvement when it comes to sexual freedom. Such discussions, whether presented in media or converted into laws, result in people feeling unheard, invisible, rejected, weird, unnatural, miserable, and so on.

How to Fight For Our Fundamental Rights

Understanding the gravity of things helps us understand better and react more rationally. We cannot change the political leaders, yet we can choose more wisely the next time. You don’t have to be a fan of politics. You don’t even have to know everything about the politician or political party. What you should know is how well would these people represent your beliefs and value if they were elected. Would they care enough to protect someone like you? Or do they see people as a set of numbers used in a popularity contest?

Voting helps you protect all your fundamental rights, from your sexual freedom to the freedom to work and education. Would you be okay with 13 states prohibiting girls from going to school under the pretension of nurturing traditional values? Would you be okay with 13 states allowing child slavery under the pretension of teaching children practical skills? If that provoked a strong ‘hell no’, why should it be any different with sexual freedom? After all, each of our fundamental rights is protected by the U.S. Constitution for a reason.

Stop considering voting a political activity and think of it as voting for a safer and more inclusive future that improves how we treat each other and teaches us how to set a better example for generations to come. 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

What Is Male Edging?

What Is Male Edging?

 

Edging is a technique for either one partner or both partners to extend the time it takes to reach orgasm. Even though edging is typically considered a method for men to stay in the game longer, it can be used by women as well. Before an orgasm, partners learn to stop all sexual arousal and communicate. They can experiment with different methods of contact so that the agitated partner can calm down before continuing. This can both delay the climax and heighten the intensity of the orgasms when they do occur.

Communication with your partner is essential if you want to experiment with edging during sex. Success depends on knowing how many cycles of teasing they can take and how to touch them during a cool-down period.

Before getting into the details of male edging, let’s take a look at the common misconceptions about it.

Misconceptions about Male Edging

Ejaculation is impacted by a few medical disorders (the discharge of semen from the penis). Not to be confused with edging are these:

  • When you reach orgasm soon, you ejaculate prematurely. Anxiety and hereditary characteristics are a few of the causes. Up to 40% of men who have a penis experience it at some point.
  • Anorgasmia, often known as delayed orgasm, is the inability to have an orgasm. This illness is uncommon and poorly understood.
  • When the muscles in your urethra are unable to correctly contract, semen might back up into your bladder and result in retrograde ejaculation. Because there is no discernible ejaculate at the climax, this is referred to as a dry orgasm. It may be caused by nerve damage brought on by other illnesses such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, spinal cord injuries, and certain surgeries. 

On the other side, edging is a secure and healthy method of sex exploration. It has no conditions or negative effects. It can be used either alone or during intercourse with a partner and can boost enjoyment regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Edging can be utilized to improve communication and closeness by focusing on one partner or both.

How to Make the Most of Edging

Choose first if you want to try edging solo or with your partner. Whatever method you choose, keep in mind that getting to know your body is always a good idea. The cherry on top is orgasms that are even more powerful.

Solo

To practice edging, you can use your hands or toys. Whatever method you use, make sure to move gently and deliberately while paying close attention to the signals of your body. You should slow down or stop completely if you feel like you’re about to orgasm. 

The next step is to calm down and rest until your orgasm is under control. Try deep breathing or rubbing your skin with your hands. Simply let your body appreciate a different kind of touch. Consider what nearly induced orgasm in you while taking note of how your body is feeling. You are free to restart and repeat the process as often as you like once you are ready.

With Your Partner

Hands, lips, sex organs, and toys can all be used when edging with a partner. Discuss how to let the other person know when you both need a break. Whatever works best can be a phrase or a gesture. When one of you is getting near to orgasm, try switching up your positions or your intensity. Alternate between penetrative sex and touch or oral stimulation and playing with a toy. 

You can begin with a few edging cycles and increase the number as you please. During pauses, give one another a sensual massage. Blood will flow into your pelvic area more as you go through more cycles. This increases excitement and may trigger orgasms with greater intensity.

Edging Steps

As edging might be a completely new term for you, we’ll break the entire process into simple steps for you to follow.

With or without a partner, the edging process typically looks like this:

  1. Begin sexual stimulation, 
  2. Change the intensity or stop just before an orgasm, 
  3. Increase the intensity after a small delay,
  4. Repeat all the steps. 

When practicing edging with a partner, it is important to always talk about it beforehand and get enthusiastic approval.

Edging Benefits

Both those practicing alone and those practicing with groups may benefit from edging. According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, edging can make some people’s sexual activity more intense. The edging cycles can heighten tension and produce a more gratifying climax.

Additionally, edging might make sexual activities last longer. This method can be used to stop premature ejaculation by those who suffer it. To increase confidence in the bedroom, couples may also utilize edging. This might be especially helpful for newlywed couples who might be hesitant to have sex.

Finding out a person’s sexual preferences may be possible with the use of edging. People can learn about sexual triggers and experiment with new activities by doing cycles of edging repeatedly. This is also a great way to understand what you enjoy and what turns you on in sex and help your partner understand what gives you sexual pleasure. 

In Conclusion

Although edging may not be for everyone, it is safe and advantageous. People who want to try edging with others should always talk to them about it first. This will help establish whether the person is at ease and eager to give it a try. Some individuals might want to think about investigating edging independently first. They can use this to determine whether they want to attempt it with others, too.

All in all, edging enables you to discover new methods to satisfy both yourself and your partner as well as experience stronger orgasms. Instead of focusing just on achieving orgasm, letting yourself relax into the sex-related sensations can lead to a more playful, spontaneous relationship, increase your emotional connection to your spouse, and help you become a better lover.

 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Answer What is My Purpose in Life by Answering THESE 3 Questions!

Answer What is My Purpose in Life by Answering THESE 3 Questions!

 

Answer What is My Purpose in Life by Answering THESE 3 Questions! Learn my favorite questions about answering what is my purpose in life! Come join me and learn! So what is your goal in life? Lets figure it out.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Self Help Video

Couples Communication and Love Language Strategies

Love-Language-and-Communication-Strategies

 

Positive Body Image: Learn to Love Your Look

5 Reasons Why He Didnt Text You Back

Anger Management Counseling – Get Video Help Now

Anger Management Counseling – Get Video Help Now

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Text Therapy

Text Therapy: What Is It & How It Works

Text Therapy: What Is It & How It Works

 

You use your smartphone for most things in your life, yet did you know that your phone can also serve you for text therapy? In recent years, especially during and after the pandemic, we’ve started using our phones as tools to reach out for help and communicate with therapists and mental health professionals about our issues. 

If you haven’t tried it yet, you probably want to know everything about text therapy. Can you get some value from reaching out to someone via text? How efficient is it to talk about things bothering you and receive advice in textual format? We bring you all information below. 

How does Text Therapy Work? 

If you’re interested in trying text therapy, you’ve probably stumbled upon an ad on social media or heard a recommendation of a text therapist from a close person. To start with the text therapy, you will need to answer a few questions helping the central service match you with a therapist that can offer the type of support you need. Sometimes, you will even be able to choose your therapist based on their description. 

Most text therapy services provide text messaging without limitations, while others also offer audio and video chat, yet expect to pay a bit more for this service. One of the most valuable benefits of such therapy is that clients can text their therapists anytime. Your therapist may not respond to you immediately, especially in late-night or early morning hours, however, they will respond to you within 24 hours. 

Clients can also ask for a live text session, which allows them to exchange texts with their chosen therapist in real-time. This can be quite handy when you want to bring up issues and feelings that are occurring at that moment. Another thing about text therapy is that it provides complete privacy, just like in-person therapy. You don’t have to worry about your identifying details being revealed or shared with a third party.

What Is the Cost of Text Therapy?

The cost of your text therapy will greatly depend on your chosen platform and the additional services or fees it includes. In general, you will pay less than you would for in-person therapy, however, prices can vary significantly based on the mentioned factors. 

Two of the most popular text therapy services, BetterHelp and Talkspace, start with plans for $40 to $65 a week, with Talkspace only offering plans per month. Also, make sure you check pricing well before engaging any further as some platforms will charge you a weekly rate, yet still bill monthly. As typically patients pay anywhere from $40 to $150 per in-person therapy session, this is a cheaper alternative. 

That said, you avoid transportation fees and you can text your therapist from any part of the world. When going to in-person therapy, you will need to visit your therapist’s office each time you have a session with them and calculate the time and money you need to get there. 

What are the Benefits of Text Therapy?

There are truly numerous benefits of starting text therapy. Many people will not go to a therapist because they live far from the therapist’s office. Others will be afraid of the intimate environment where they are sharing their emotions and behaviors with a person they don’t know very well. 

Text From Anywhere

With text therapy, you can text your therapist from your home, office, car, public transport, park, or any place on the Earth. As long as you can send the text, your therapist will receive it and respond as soon as possible. Unlike in-person therapy, you don’t have to react to your therapist’s question or opinion right away. You can take some time to think about it and write your answer when it’s most convenient for you. The flexible communication allows for making most of the therapy and truly reminiscing on the process. 

Enjoy the Distance

Another benefit of text therapy is maintaining the distance you are comfortable with. This is particularly beneficial for those who feel awkward or uncomfortable discussing their private matters with others, although they are licensed therapists. Being able to maintain their distance and not having in-person communication with therapists can help them share things they typically wouldn’t share with someone and benefit their healing process that way. 

Save Your Money

Also, money is often an important factor when deciding whether or not to start going to a therapist. Because four times a month can cost you up to $600, you might be more motivated to start text therapy and save your money that way. When compared to in-person therapy, you can save up to even $400, depending on the platform you choose. 

Solve Your Issues ASAP

Let’s say you had a minor stressful situation today and you want to get rid of the stress and the thoughts accompanying it. Typically, you would need to wait until your next session to discuss it with your therapist, yet text therapy allows you to do something about it immediately. You can text your therapist the details of what happened and feel a bit better because you already did something about it.

In Final Words

Tex therapy is an excellent way to incorporate therapy into your daily life. You don’t have to think about leaving your Wednesday afternoon free because you need to go to your therapist’s office. You can simply text them anytime and from anywhere and wait for their reply. Not to mention how much easier and liberating it is to text what you want to share with them, instead of feeling uncomfortable sharing some things. 

Don’t approach these two types of therapy by comparing them. Both in-person and text therapy are a great way to help you feel better in your life and be the person you want to be for yourself and others in your life. After all, therapy is not only reserved for people struggling with mental health conditions, yet for everyone who wants to heal from something that occurred to them or find the best tools to manage their life better. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Therapy Exercises

Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home

Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home

 

If you thought that sex therapy involves only talking, you’ll be happy to hear there’s also homework in a form of sex therapy exercises. You and your partner may try to improve the quality of your sexual life or solve a few issues in the bedroom. These exercises can provide much value to you as a couple and strengthen your relationship beyond sex. 

These exercises are typically assigned during sex therapy, in which a therapist assigns homework tailored to you as a couple. Let’s take a look at what are sex therapy exercises and give you the motivation you need to ace this. 

About Sex Therapy Exercises

It’s completely normal to want to improve the quality of your sex life, and it doesn’t necessarily imply you are unsatisfied in bed. Not to mention that to enjoy sex and connect better with your partner sexually requires both of you to do different exercises related to sex and intimacy. Not too bad, right?

If you’ve already done the talk with your partner, started the sex therapy, and you’re both curious to see how these exercises can bring more fun into your four walls – and maybe outside them, all that’s left to do is to roll your sleeves and get started with your marital homework. 

The true value of sex exercises for couples is that it teaches them what is fundamental for each partner to consider they had great sex, while also broadening horizons and trying out things you never knew you even like. 

Like it is with everything, practice makes perfect. With sex, there is so much more involved than chemistry. Individuals prefer different things and styles of sex, and often, they need different things to get excited. To enjoy sex means that both partners will need to be satisfied with their sexual activities, not just one. 

Why Couples Need Sex Therapy Exercices

There can be many reasons why a couple started with sex therapy. A loss of intimacy because of a certain event or trauma, lack of orgasm from one or both partners, and reduced libido are the most common reasons why someone will consider going to sex therapy, however, there can be numerous reasons for it.

When couples start working on their sex life and intimacy with a guidance of a therapist, they will notice improvements in communication, especially in the bedroom, deeper emotional connection,  and a stronger relationship in general. If you’re a bit nervous about these exercises, keep in mind that you’ll first establish the trust with the therapist and go through a bit of talking before getting this interesting homework.

That said, you’ll definitely need to practice these exercises with your partner and be dedicated to making things better in your sex life. These are the questions you can expect to hear from your sex therapist: 

  • What did you do this week that made your partner loved?
  • Also, What can you do to improve this during the following week?
  • What can you do to make your intimacy a priority?
  • Also, What did you notice lately that works well for you in sex?
  • What things would you like to see more in bed or from your partner to enjoy more sex?

These and similar questions can be a part of your sex therapy because they show your therapist what you both need, while also allowing both of you to express what you need in a safe environment. 

Types of Sex Therapy Exercises

As already explained, there are many different kinds of sex exercises that you and your partner can practice at home, yet there are three of them that are most commonly recommended to improve sexual connection and intimacy between partners. 

Hugging

The best way to improve both sex and intimacy is through hugging. Although it’s not an erotic exercise that requires couples to be naked, it has proven to be a very efficient exercise in both couple and sex therapy. A couple will hug each other until they both feel at ease and relax. You should hug your partner, and at the same time, they should hug you. The idea is to connect mutually instead of one being the caregiver and the other caretaker. 

Heads on Pillows

Not as known as hugging, heads on pillows is yet another great exercise for restoring intimacy between partners. Both partners will lie down with their heads on their pillows and face each other. The idea is to quiet the mind and heart, and simply look into the partner’s eyes. There can be a bit of touching, yet avoid erotic areas or anything else that might distract you from the exercise. 

Feeling when Touching

Just like the first two exercises, this one cannot lead to sex either. Partners should lay down and one should start touching the other. Restain from touching genitals or any erotic areas, and focus on what you feel while you are touching your partner. Once a person can touch their partner for about 10 minutes, they can switch roles. Talking is also not encouraged, as it takes you away from the exercises.

Ready, Set, Practice!

It might be unusual for you to see that most common sex exercises have nothing or little to do with sex. The reason for that is that to have great sex, partners should first feel the connection between them. You truly need to see and feel your partner in order to connect sexually and achieve orgasm. 

Also, don’t get discouraged. It takes time to feel comfortable with this type of exercise, so make sure you and your partners are taking it easy. Be curious about the process and keep your mind on the objective. These exercises are created to make you both enjoy each other even more, yet it takes time to fully get there. 

Until then, treat it as your sexy homework. After all, have you ever been assigned homework this cool? We doubt it, so make sure you are making the most of it. Communicate with your partner how you feel about these exercises to remind yourself of the reason why you are doing all of it.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

How To Become Confident Again | Build Back Sexual Confidence [Big D*ck Energy] 🍌

How To Become Confident Again | Build Back Sexual Confidence [Big D*ck Energy] 🍌

 

How to become confident again and build back sexual confidence. I want you to understand big dick energy and how to be confident truly when it comes to sexuality.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

High Functioning Depression

How to Recognize High Functioning Depression Symptoms?

How to Recognize High Functioning Depression Symptoms?

 

Many high functioning depression symptoms are similar to symptoms resulting from major depression, yet differ in more ways. These symptoms might be changes in sleeping and eating habits, lower self-esteem, hopelessness, fatigue, problems with concentration, etc. For it to be a high functioning depressing, a person should experience these symptoms most days that also cause almost constant low mood, which is present for at least two years. 

Most people with high functioning depression function normally, and their family and friends often cannot see any signs that the person has this disorder. However, depression is something that a person will struggle with it internally. High functioning depression can be treated with therapy and medications, allowing individuals experiencing it to have a happy, fulfilling life. 

High Functioning Depression

If you haven’t heard about high functioning depression, you should know that it can have serious consequences if a person is not receiving adequate treatment. Another term for high functioning depression is a persistent depressive disorder. If a person has high functioning depression they will experience most symptoms of depression, yet less severely. 

This means that the person with high functioning depression will function normally, from going to work or school to keeping up with different types of responsibilities in their lives. They also might engage in a range of social activities, so nobody around them will suspect they might be struggling with any form of depression. More importantly, the person often will be unable to detect depression in themselves because they are easy-going, participating in social activities, and performing well in their work or education environment. 

The outside world most often will not be able to notice a person is struggling with high functioning depression or persistent depressive disorder. Compared to major depression, high functioning depression should still be diagnosed and treated. When living with high functioning depression, a person can struggle and have a lower life quality than usual, yet getting the help they need can help significantly. 

High Functioning Depression Symptoms 

High functioning depression is a mental health condition diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other licensed mental health professional. To be diagnosed with high functioning depression, certain criteria must be met, which are all gathered in a high functioning depression test. 

The first criteria relate to the person being depressed most of the time and for most of the day for at least two years. This depressed mood a person is experiencing must include two or more of the symptoms mentioned below:

  • Lack of appetite or overeating,
  • Sleeping issues such as insomnia or oversleeping,
  • Lack of energy and fatigue,
  • Decreased self-esteem,
  • Issues with concentration and making decisions,
  • Feeling sad and hopeless.

Besides these symptoms, other criteria must be met for a person to be diagnosed with high functioning depression. The symptoms that the person is experiencing must be present on most days for at least two years without the period of relief from depression lasting more than two months. Also, the person mustn’t have experienced a period of mania or hypomania before in their life.

Before diagnosing the client with PDD, the psychiatrist or other mental health professional needs to ensure that these symptoms are not caused by any other mental health disorder, medical condition, or substance abuse. Although most individuals with PDD function normally, there will need to be a link between the high functioning depression and the impairment in one or more life areas of the individual.

Most clients struggling with high functioning depression have reported feeling the following ways:

  • Feeling a little down most of the days and others might have noticed it and describe you as cynical, downer, or gloomy. 
  • Your low mood is always somewhere in the background if not fully present, and it feels like you will never feel great again. 
  • You feel tired almost constantly, even when you get enough sleep and eat well.
  • You or others will wonder whether it’s laziness, yet it’s challenging for you to summon the energy to do more than the basic activities. 
  • You don’t feel good about yourself and you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy or liked by others in your life because you’re not worth it. 
  • Your weight has changed without your intent because of a lack of appetite or overeating. 
  • You often feel hopeless and cry without a concrete, realistic reason.
  • You perform well whether at work or school, yet it’s a challenge to focus on all your tasks and requires additional effort. 
  • Most of the time, you are forcing yourself to engage in social activities although you would rather stay at home alone. 

Living with High Functioning Depression

If diagnosed with high functioning depression, a person can continue living their life as they want, however, they will need to receive treatment, whether it’s therapy, medications, or both. A person struggling with this type of depression cannot decide on their therapy on their own, they will need to be guided by a mental health expert. 

Once in therapy, the client will receive guidelines, methods, and helpful tips to manage how their high-functioning depression affects their life. As it is with all other mental health disorders, a person often needs months or years of treatment until they can function in a way that their depression is not affecting them anymore. However, even in the initial sessions, a person will be able to improve some aspects of their depression because they will receive personalized guidelines from their psychiatrist, psychologist, or any other mental health professional.

In Final Words

Like major depression, high functioning depression or persistent depressive disorder is a serious mental health condition that requires treatment. Whether it’s you or someone close to you experiencing high functioning depression symptoms, reaching out to a mental health professional is the best way to approach it. This will help the person in need to find adequate treatment and work on improving the quality of their life. 

Struggling with depression, whether it’s a major or high functioning one, doesn’t allow you to have a happy life, and not addressing it can only lead to even worse conditions. Reaching out to someone you trust is the first step to recovery, don’t postpone it and react on time.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

ROLE PLAY in RELATIONSHIPS | Learn How Daddy Does IT!

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Learn how to roleplay and use role play in relationships. In this video, we teach role play in relationships, role play is a strategy that is used people to enhance their sex life by adding an element of fantasy. If you are feeling a little underwhelmed in your relationship, bring some fantasy and role play in the relationship and learn how to include roleplay.

Here are some of my favorite role play tips that I am going to share with you. Lets answer what is role play and specifically what is role play in a relationship.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Relationship PTSD & How to Deal With It

Relationship PTSD & How to Deal With It

 

Relationship PTSD or post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS) involves ways a person responds to being exposed to a traumatic event within their relationship and their intimate partner. Within relationships, all relational abuse types have shown to leave significant verbal, emotional/psychological, physical, or sexual consequences. 

What is Relationship PTSD?

Relationship PTSD is a subcategory of PTSD, where one person is causing PTSD and related emotional reactions in another person within their relationship. It mostly results from an abusive relationship, while not meeting all the diagnostic criteria to be diagnosed as PTSD, so experts in the field have started calling it post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS). 

So, Relationship PTSD and PTRS will be used interchangeably for the rest of this article. 

Therefore, PTRS will show some PTSD symptoms, yet it will often show more intense emotional reactions leading to negative social interactions. Most people will notice symptoms of PTRS once the relationship ends. 

During the relationship, what causes PTRS is the relational patterns and the relationship in general, instead of experiencing one or two traumatic events. A person who has PTRS will notice lower self-esteem, blame themselves for relational troubles, or feel more insecure than before starting the relationship. 

What PTSD and PTRS have in common is a belief that once one experiences a certain trauma, the world becomes an unsafe place for that person. 

PTRS Symptoms 

As said, relationship PTSD or PTRS might be difficult to recognize because the symptoms appear gradually over a long period of time instead of experiencing one traumatic event. PTRS symptoms can include various symptoms and signs, from a strong sense of feeling unsafe to be out of control or feeling shame or guilt. 

PTRS Intrusive Symptoms

Intrusive symptoms are related to experiencing the traumatic event again and again through:

  • Thoughts related to the trauma that appeared out of nowhere,
  • Flashbacks or having a strong feeling of re-experiencing the traumatic event through images, daydreams, or intrusive thoughts,
  • Nightmares or dreams involving the traumatic event or dreams where a person feels scared or exposed,
  • Experiencing extreme distress when reminded of the trauma by your intimate partner or anyone else,
  • Intensive emotional responses to typical, everyday situations. 

PTRS Arousal Symptoms

Arousal symptoms refer to the symptoms around the fear response such as:

  • Higher irritability with minimum or zero provocation,
  • Insomnia or having sleep problems, whether when falling or staying asleep,
  • Hypervigilance or being constantly alert when something reminds you of the trauma.

PTRS Relational Symptoms

Relational symptoms are the ones creating stress in other relationships such as: 

  • Having issues with trusting other people or socializing,
  • Loneliness or isolation,
  • Starting a new relationship quickly, 
  • Shame, guilt, or self-blame,
  • Sexual dysfunction or fear of being physically intimate with your new partner,
  • A strong feeling that the world is unsafe. 

What Causes Relationship PTSD?

The trauma that is causing relationship PTSD might be from any type of relational abuse, yet unlike traditional PTSD, it only occurs with your intimate partner rather than experiencing a traumatic event outside the context of your intimate relationship.

Most often, there is not just one event that caused PTRS, yet several incidents in an abusive relationship might lead to PTRS. There are many unhealthy relational patterns such as belittling, controlling, gaslighting or constantly criticizing the other person which are all signs of emotional abuse.

Unlike emotional, physical abuse is much more evident and it is often noticed by other people outside your relationship. Physical abuse refers to hitting, punching, or any attempt to purposely injure your intimate partner. In relationships, there is also a possibility of experiencing sexual abuse in a form of non-consensual sex or sexual coercion. 

What is important to keep in mind is that every person responds to traumatic events differently, especially within the context of an intimate relationship. Also, what is considered a traumatic exposure to one person might not affect someone else at all. This is why it is very important to be aware of how you feel in your relationship and how your partner is making you feel to understand if there is anything that might or is already causing PTRS. 

The Healing Process

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, you should suggest therapy. Healing is a long-term process if you’ve been in an abusive relationship and think you have PTRS. However, the first step to healing is talking about it with a professional who will guide you and help you learn techniques to overcome the traumatic relationship and be able to start a new, healthy one. 

Another thing you need to know is that you cannot accelerate the healing process. For instance, if you’ve been in an abusive relationship for years, it will take more than just a month to heal properly and be able to live your life as you did before the relationship started. Also, the type of abuse and the frequency of it happening in the relationship are important factors that will affect the healing process.

Because relationship PTSD affects different people differently, the healing process and everything about it can differ from one person to another. For instance, your therapist might use a different approach than your friend’s therapist who has also been in an abusive relationship. Besides being exposed to different types of abuse, someone’s personality type and previous experience will also have an impact on how someone is responding to traumatic exposure in their intimate relationship.

Conclusion

A relationship PTSD or post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS) happens when a person has been exposed to patterns of traumatic events or behaviors caused by their intimate partner. Symptoms and signs of PTRS are not noticeable immediately as they develop over time, and are not visible to the eye, except for physical abuse. 

If a person ends the abusive relationship and their intimate partner is no longer present in their lives, PTRS symptoms will continue and affect how this person interacts and connects with other people, especially within the romantic context. That is why it’s best to seek help in a form of a therapist who has enough experience with PTRS. Such therapists can help you heal from the relationship you had and help you start a new relationship when you’re ready without the baggage from the past

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Is My Husband Gay & What To Do About It

Is My Husband Gay & What To Do About It

 

If you’re asking yourself ‘Is my husband gay?’ then this article is for you. Not every gay person will come out to you easily, even if we’re talking about spouses. Our sexuality can be something we struggle to understand on our own, let alone be able to have conversations about it. 

So, before you accuse your partner of hiding this secret from you, let’s look at the most common signs to answer is my husband gay and if he, then what.

How to Tell if Your Husband Is Gay

Of course, the clearest and easiest way to find out if your husband is gay is if he tells you. Unfortunately, many gay husbands will hide their homosexuality from their heterosexual spouses, who begin to wonder should they confront their gay husbands and how. These are some of the signs you should look for:

  • The lack of or decrease in sexual activity throughout the years. He will maybe try to tell you that sex is not an important aspect of your marriage for him or that is normal for couples to have less sex when in long-term relationships. 
  • He doesn’t get sexually excited by normal sexual activities and accuses you of being too aggressive or a nymphomaniac when having normal sexual needs. 
  • In bed, he acts more mechanical than passionate with a lack of interest in foreplay.
  • He might claim he feels depressed, frustrated, or under a lot of pressure for a long period of time and blame it for his lack of sexual desire.
  • Hides sexual enhancers like Viagra or Cialis, yet doesn’t show interest in having sex with you.
  • He likes kinky sex and suggests using sex toys that will stimulate his prostate. 
  • His computer history is often deleted and doesn’t show any recent search results. 
  • You have found gay pornography on his phone, computer, or magazines hidden somewhere in the bedroom, while he claims they are not his. 
  • He has started investing more time in himself by going to the gym and working on changing the way he looks. 
  • Says he is not happy in the marriage, yet is unable to explain the reasons for it. 
  • He is often unavailable and tells you he is working long hours or doing activities you cannot track. 
  • He shared he was sexually abused in his childhood or adolescence. 
  • Refers a lot to homosexuality in conversations, whether it’s to make homophobic comments or any gay-related comments. 

Keep in mind that exposing just one of the signs doesn’t imply your husband is gay. For instance, if your husband has decided to go to the gym more often, it might be because he is worried about his health or he wants to impress you. However, if you noticed more than two signs in your marriage, it is time to seriously consider the fact that your husband is gay. 

Is He Gay? Yes, He Is Gay – What to Do? 

If these signs constantly appear in your marriage and you’ve been suspecting for a while now, chances are your husband is gay. It’s completely normal feeling a combination of emotions and feeling lost when trying to find the best way to handle it. Most women in this situation have reported experiencing guilt, shame, devastation, hurt, rage, betrayal, repulsion, and responsibility. Of course, each experience depends on the individual, so make sure you allow yourself some time to process all of it. 

The first thing you will need to do is accept it’s nobody’s fault. Your husband is not intentionally gay just to hurt you nor you are guilty because you haven’t realized your husband is gay before you married him. Your husband’s homosexuality is his responsibility and you couldn’t affect it in any way. There are many reasons why men are not embracing their homosexuality and marry a heterosexual woman, from thinking it will erase their homosexuality to belonging to a traditional family, like the one he grew up in. You will know the reason only if you talk to your husband. 

Try to first process it on your own because the conversation will not be productive for either of you if you’re unable to talk rationally. Try to explain how you feel to yourself first before going to your husband. Be clear on how to verbalize everything that is happening in your mind or heart, and find appropriate words. Prepare yourself for tears and don’t waste your energy on building the facade to show you’re not hurt. You are, and you have every right to be. 

The Talk

Once you feel prepared for the conversation, invite your husband to talk about it. As you will be the one who will reveal his secret, keep in mind that setting the tone for the conversation is important. Try not to attack, blame, shout, or say anything that might make him abandon the conversation. You deserve to know his side of the story and by being calm and asking the right questions, you might get that. 

First, tell him you’ve been suspecting for a while he is gay and lists the signs that confirm that suspicion. While doing so, make sure you’re not rushing into proving you’re right. Instead, share with him how all of this made you feel and that you understand there is nothing to do about his homosexuality, yet your marriage is the responsibility of both. Ask him why he has never told you that he is gay. Ask him how long he knows the truth about his same sex orientation.. 

Whatever was tormenting you while gathering evidence of is my husband gay,, ask him. However, make sure these questions are not filled with blame and accusations. For instance, instead of asking ‘How could you do this to me and our marriage?’, you can ask ‘What was stopping you from telling me the truth?’. 

Keep in mind it’s not just the words you choose, it’s the tone you use to talk to him. It’s the place and time you have chosen for this conversation. Besides having control over the conversation, you are the one who is putting his secret out in the open, so make sure you’re also aware of that. Not to say you’re not the victim here, because you are, yet you will get more value from an honest, open talk than blaming him for destroying your marriage. 

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