sex toy for men

Finding The Best Sex Toy For Men

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Finding The Best Sex Toy For Men

 

Usually, when talking about the tools to achieve pleasure, we rarely talk about finding the perfect sex toy for men. Without a doubt, women are spending more money on sex toys. Yet the male audience is becoming more and more interested in this type of product as well. Men are determined to enjoy exploring their sexual pleasure, whether it’s through masturbation or having sex with their partner.

As much as you might assume that the male sex toy market is one-dimensional. The reality is actually quite the opposite. Nowadays, men have numerous options to choose from to enhance their pleasure during masturbation or sex. Regardless of the sex toy you might choose. You will soon start enjoying priceless orgasms and might end up buying more and more sex toys. 

To help you make your decision. We have prepared an overview of the best sex toys for men which can be used for your solo play. Or you might even decide to share them with your special one. It’s completely up to you!

#1 Lil Tootsie

Let’s start with the sex toy you can use alone or with someone. The Lil Tootsie is the perfect choice for men as its silicone sleeve features a ribbed material. Reminding the user of a vagina. Also, it can be used in a different way where a user would pull it tight to mimic a sucking sensation. 

So, if you’re tired of all these vibrators on the market and are looking for something completely different. Lil Tootsie is perfect for you. This nonvibrating toy can be used in any moment of masturbation and couples can use it as a tool in a game of two. 

#2 Fun Factory MANTA Vibrating Stroker

If you were assuming that wand vibrators can only bring pleasure to vaginas and vulvas, you were completely wrong. This vibrating stroker is your go-to toy when you’re looking for a little bit of fun in the sheets with your sexual partner. This pretty impressive sex toy comes with a loop handle that fits around the shaft to ensure you achieve stroking pleasure.  Or a really focused deep sensation. 

Its ridges hold lube and its motor will vibrate along your entire penis so you can enjoy it however you want. In other words, if you love great handjobs or blowjobs. Having a toy like this vibrating stroker will stimulate exactly these feelings for you. 

#3 Classic Pink Lady Fleshlight

If the thought of vagina is what turns you on when you’re masturbating alone in your bed. You will be happy to hear that there are more sex toys for men created in a form of the vagina. The ‘fleshlight’ is designed so it reminds a person of a vagina while they are masturbating. To experience the pleasures of penetration. All you will have to do is to slip it over your penis to stimulate the experience of vaginal or anal sex.

Besides its stunning design, men have praised its effect. And are suggesting it to anyone who would love to take their masturbation game to the next level. And, it’s perfect for those who are single as this toy can best be enjoyed only when it’s you and nobody else in the room. 

#4 SVAKOM Alex Neo Mastubator

Anybody who loves seeing the wonders of technology in every aspect of their lives will adore this SVAKOM Alex Neo Masturbator. It’s a thrusting stroker that shows its full potential if the user utilizes an app to explore many modes and audible experiences. This toy is perfect for all of those who want to use it with their long-distance partner as you can communicate via app or video chat. 

Moreover, you can pair it with the porn of your choice and align the strokes accordingly which brings a completely another dimension of virtual reality masturbation. If this is a bit too much for you, just simply remove the detachable textured sleeve. And find your own pleasure. 

#5 Pleasure Works Gala Confetti Mini Anal Plug

For those who are curious to explore anal penetration and have yet to try it, this anal plug is the perfect solution. This is a small and simple butt plug designed to bring incredible anal pleasure. And you will love it from the first moment you try it. 

This confetti-decorated silicone anal plug is very flexible to help you truly enjoy the penetration and it’s tapered for easy insertion. And we can’t forget its wings that give you complete control over movements while you are masturbating. 

#6 Satisfyer Men Heat Vibration

If you’re a fan of vibrators, you will probably want to have more than just one. After all, some men have an entire collection of different vibrators they use quite often. So, if you’re one of them too, the Heat Vibration will provide you with all the levels of pleasure you’re fantasizing about. And more importantly, it will also help you get to climax. Pretty impressive, right? 

This sex toy includes a very soft sleeve with pleasure ridges, two motors, and 70 vibration patterns. No wonder why most men recommend it for absolute pleasure as you’ll have plenty of options to explore until you find the one that provides you with the best orgasm!

#7 Lelo LOKI Wave

You’ve already well familiar, or we can see somewhat an expert, in the anal play? Then, you’ll love LOKI Wave by Lelo! It brings incredible prostate play to its users due to the adjustable power with ten stimulation modes. This sex toy was created to provide great pleasure and stimulation inside and out. With this one, you will have two motors targeting your prostate and perineum. While the stimulator will move back and forth against the prostate. Getting you closer to your climax. 

The Bottom Line

If you’re looking to buy your first sex toy, you’ll be surprised by the wide choice of products. More importantly, diversity will help each individual find something that will work for them. Also, look for sex toys that are designed for the level of experience you have. It’s not the same to use a sex toy for experts and the one for beginners. That’s why it’s vital that you research well and read reviews before buying, so you can have as many orgasms as you want!

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Couple’s Sex Toys Everyone Needs To Know About

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Couple’s Sex Toys Everyone Needs To Know About

 

If you’re in a relationship, finding a few couple’s sex toys might bring that fun to the sheets you both were looking to regain. After all, it’s a small investment that brings incredible benefits to your sexual health and wellness. If you’re assuming that sex toys are not what you two need to spice things up and just unwind after a long day. Maybe this article will change your mind. 

We are used to spending hundreds of dollars on a treadmill, a new juicer, or anything else we believe that might benefit us in any way, so why not do the same when it comes to sex? Regardless of what you’re looking for in bed, you will easily find a toy that can help you turn each of your fantasies into a reality. 

Once you and your partner agree on this investment, the toy hunt can begin. You will find a wide range of toys designed specifically for women, men, or even both. Many toys out there even have a diverse use, so you can truly make the most of them. And start experimenting with different types of sexual pleasure with your partner.

To help you make the right choice, you will find the best sex toys for couples currently on the market and tips on how to use them for maximum fun!

#1 Magic Wand Original

How can you expect to do some between-the-sheets magic without a magic wand? Many are saying it is their favorite vibrator. And what’s even more surprising is that this Hitachi Magic Wand has been on the market for over 50 years. It has two speeds, low and high, and is a great option for different pleasurable uses for both women and men. 

The Magic Wand Original comes with a 2.5-inch soft head and is completely bendable. All you have to do is to choose between the two speeds and this magic wand will help you relieve any type of stress you might have. With your partner, you can use its good vibrations to heat up the things between you two. And give each other the sensations of your lifetime.

#2 We-Vibe Sync

This vibrator prouds itself to be the number one vibrator for couples. We-Vibe Sync is a cuff-shaped vibrator. And its top is shaped like a pancake ensuring it stimulates the clitoral part and a smaller vibrator that stimulates the G-spot while the couple is having sex.

The great thing about it is that the cuff will stay in the desired position preventing the device from slipping in and out during sex. If you and your partner are looking for sex toys that can be used in a pool or ocean. You’ll definitely want We-Vibe Sync as it’s completely waterproof. 

#3 We-Vibe Couples Massager

If you prefer stimulation over penetration, you will love the We-Vibe Couples Massager! It’s created to bring a lot of clitoral stimulation to partners with a vagina. The reason why this toy is so popular with heterosexual couples is that it can be used at any moment before. During. And even after sex. 

You can use it as a tool for foreplay. Yet it can be perfect once you and your partner have both achieved orgasm. And you wish to start the second round. Nothing will get you going like a good, stimulative sex toy that both of you can use.

#4 Vesper Necklace

Okay, you will probably not be encouraged to walk around with the sex toy you and your partner just bought, right? What if that sex toy seemed like an elegant piece of jewelry hanging around your neck? Vesper Necklace is such a sex toy you’ll love to wear and it can also serve as a great conversation starter with new people. 

Choose between three colors and three suggestive phrases to be engraved on the necklace for a more personalized touch. And, once the vibrations of this beauty kick in. You and your sexual partner can drop any conversation you were having and go straight into the action.

 

#5 Trojan Vibrating Fingertip Personal Massager

If you enjoy the sensation of vibration, yet would prefer avoiding toys that are created for penetration. This toy is the right choice for you. The famous preservative company Trojan has designed an exciting vibrating fingertip massager that will go beyond your lover’s touch. With it, the couples can enjoy the boost of high-sensory titillation while at the same time staying connected. 

Its simple design allows you to create layers of excitement with just your hand going from one part of your partner’s body to another. Including the erogenous zone and genitals. This personal massager is perfect for foreplay and during sex as it creates a complete explosion of pleasure!

#6 Starsi Silicone Rechargeable Waterproof Vibrator By Cute Little Fuckers

This is truly a unisex toy, as it can be used by anybody, any gender, and orientation, and on any part of the body. This interesting sex toy can be used over the nipples, vulva, penis, neck, or anywhere else where you think there will be beneficial and provide pleasure to you or your partner. 

Based on the idea that our entire bodies are covered in nerve endings. This little star will blow your mind as it touches your skin and moves around with your partner guiding it. Explore each other’s bodies and find an erogenous zone where you never thought it exists.

#7 Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Vibrating Cock Ring

If you’re into sex toys, you have probably already tried one of the rings on the market. However, there is nothing like this little rabbit. It will add stimulation during sex with your partner and because of the base of the vibrating part. It brings incredible clitoris stimulation.

With its bunny ears, this sex toy definitely has some charm you’ll need to explore further. What’s interesting to most couples is that this ring can be used with a remote. So the partner who is wearing it can control the buzz of the ring. 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction & Its Impact on Relationships

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Erectile Dysfunction & Its Impact on Relationships

 

There are no perfect relationships, so it’s completely normal to ask questions about the issues that appear in them, Such as erectile dysfunction and its impact on relationships. Of course, there are other emotional and physical problems a couple can have, yet noticing the lack of honest. Valuable conversation around erectile dysfunction (ED) proves the need of talking about it. 

This common condition results in difficulties in sexual activities with another person and sometimes, it even leads to a loss of intimacy in relationships and marriages, which then affects the mental wellbeing of the couple. 

So, what is exactly erectile dysfunction, why it happens and how it impacts long-term relationships and marriage? Read all about it in this article. 

What is ED?

Erectile dysfunction, also referred to as ED, is the inability to get or keep a man’s erection firm enough to have successful sexual intercourse. When it happens occasionally, erectile dysfunction is nothing unusual as many men will experience it during stressful times. However, if the ED becomes frequent, it might be a sign of health problems that require certain treatment. 

Besides health issues, it’s important to say that ED can be a result of emotional or relationship difficulties which will also need the help of a professional in order to be resolved. So, what causes the ED? 

It occurs because of issues at any point in the man’s erection process. An erection comes as a result of increased blood flow into the penis. This blood flow is stimulated by one of these two options: sexual thoughts or direct contact with the penis.

So, when a man gets sexually excited, the muscles in his penis will start relaxing. This will get the blood flow through the penile arteries by filling two chambers which once filled with blood, the penis will start growing. The erection is considered done when the muscles contract so that the accumulated blood can flow out through the veins in the penis.

Causes of ED

There are numerous possible causes of erectile dysfunction and, as mentioned, they can involve both emotional and physical conditions. Some of the most common causes are cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, obesity, kidney disease and low testosterone levels. 

When talking about mental health, there are also various possible causes of ED, such as stress, anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, and even Parkinson’s disease and multiple sclerosis. 

However, these causes can even be the result of the lifestyle a person has. For instance, erectile dysfunction can occur due to relationship problems, prescription medications, drug use, alcohol or tobacco consumption. 

Erectile dysfunction can be caused by one of the mentioned factors or even several of them. That’s why it’s vital to seek help from an adequate professional and get the treatment on time. 

How ED Affects Relationships

When in a long-term relationship or marriage. ED is definitely something you wish to prevent from happening, so how to act when it happens? The important thing is not to panic as erectile dysfunction is treatable in most cases. There are numerous effective treatments available that can successfully restore sexual function and enhance satisfaction in the relationship that way.

With that being said, it’s possible that a person will need to try out more than one treatment until they find the option that works best for them. During the entire process, their partner should be open, caring and supportive. Knowing that your partner is with you will help you feel less stressed about the treatment. Which can also have positive effects on your ED. 

When faced with ED, the person will most likely be recommended some of the following approaches:

  • Open communication
  • Counseling
  • Practicing other forms of intimacy
  • Changes in your lifestyle
  • Honest and open communication

Understanding that ED is a common condition that happens to many men around the world, you should know that feelings such as guilt and embarrassment will only worsen the situation. That’s why it’s always recommended to practice other forms of intimacy so that you and your partner can still feel close to each other while you’re treating your ED.

Erectile Dysfunction Treatment

The right treatment for erectile dysfunction will greatly depend on the cause of it. Sometimes, a person will need only talk therapy to solve the issue successfully and other times, a combination of treatments will be required. 

The doctor might even prescribe you medications to help you deal better with the ED symptoms. With that being said, it might even take several medications until you find the one that works best for you. These are some of the medications prescribed to people with ED to stimulate blood flow to the penis: 

  • Avanafil 
  • Sildenafil
  • Vardenafil 
  • Tadalafil 
  • Alprostadil 

You should never take any of these medications before consulting a doctor as they might not be suitable for you and they might even have an effect on other medications you are taking. 

Another common way of treating ED is with talk therapy as many causes of ED are actually psychological. Such as stress, anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. You can expect to go over various topics with your therapist like stress or anxiety factors, how you feel about sex and subconscious conflicts that might affect your sex drive.

If your relationship is affected by ED and you feel as if you and your partner can use therapy to have a space for a healthy conversation. You should also consider relationship counseling. 

Another method of treatment you will probably hear about is vacuum pumps. It is a treatment that uses the creation of a vacuum to stimulate the erection. As the device is working, the blood is drawn into the penis causing an erection. This method of treatment is usually recommended when the cause is physical.

Don’t Ignore it!

As much as it can get uncomfortable for you to talk about erectile dysfunction. Keep in mind that it’s a common condition that can happen to any man on the planet. A lot of factors can lead to ED, so blaming yourself or feeling ashamed to share this with someone shouldn’t be a part of your coping mechanism. Instead, think of it as part of your sexual health and do everything you can to resolve it and make sure you feel 100% like yourself again! 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Pregnancy Sex Positions

Your Ultimate Guide To Pregnancy Sex Positions

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Your Ultimate Guide To Pregnancy Sex Positions

 

You will change your mind quickly once you see our list of pregnancy sex positions. There is so much to enjoy in bed with your partner, without even mentioning orgasms that are more profound, longer, and more sensual when compared to non-pregnant sex. 

Many couples decide not to have penetrative sex because they fear it will hear the baby, so it’s time to debunk all these myths around pregnancy sex and give you and your partner a chance to enjoy your sexual activities without worries.

From oral and anal sex to using blankets and pillows to spice up the things in the bedroom, here is every position you’ll be able to try when expecting!

1. Doggy Style

If you and your partner were never fans of the missionary positions, you will be excited to learn that sex from behind is actually the most recommended sex position during pregnancy. This position will keep the pressure off the belly, so the pregnant partner can feel more comfortable during sex.

You can also use pillows, towels, or blankets so the position feels more comfortable and experiences a better orgasm. However, while penetrating, it is vital to control its depth. It’s possible that the pregnant partner feels the penis hitting the cervix which can make her feel uncomfortable and cause pain, so be sure to take it slower than usual. 

2. Get On Top!

Many women tend to feel more sexual satisfaction when they are on top of their partner as it allows them to control penetration. Imagine the feeling when pregnant! This sex position is also supported by science, so you can enjoy it without fear of hurting the baby, your partner, or yourself.

The most important thing to do is to adjust your body so it feels comfortable by widening your stance or leaning back. This will keep the belly from tilting you forward and help you manage the situation better. 

3. Doing It While Hugging Each Other!

Well, you will not only hug each other, as the spooning position is perfect for a nice and easy penetration. One partner is holding the other one and penetrating from behind while they are both lying down, facing away from each other. Regardless of the penetration, it’s a good idea to touch the clitoris as that’s where the center for pleasure lies. 

Of course, you can penetrate with any other sex position and then switch to spooning if your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with it. The important thing is to penetrate slowly so the pregnant partner doesn’t feel any discomfort or pain during the penetration and sex. 

4. On Your Back, Cowgirl!

A reversed cowgirl is another great sex position that can bring so much pleasure to both partners. The pregnant partner can do it by straddling the other person and it’s also great for clitoris stimulation. Yet, if you wish to enjoy this sex position, you should make the most of it quickly as it’s not recommendable when the belly gets bigger.

If you enjoy it too much and want to keep doing it with your partner, make sure you provide your body with support by positioning arms behind you and leaning back. Many pregnant women opt for this position as it keeps their stomachs from being compressed which often can affect the sex drive. 

5. On Your Feet

During your first and second trimester, you can easily enjoy an orgasm while standing and having sex with your partner. The pregnant partner will need a bit of support so it’s a good idea to hold them during this position. Make sure you are on solid, stable ground and nothing can affect your balance and, potentially, cause harm. 

In the late second and third trimester, make sure you avoid having sex while standing as it will not be easy to keep your balance and enjoy sex. If at any time, you start feeling like you’re losing your stability, place your palms against a wall and lean in. The later in the pregnancy, the time you spend having sex standing needs to be shorter and shorter. 

6. Oral Sex

If you and your partner enjoy giving and receiving oral sex, the good news is that you will not have to give it up during pregnancy. It is one of the sex types you can enjoy during all three trimesters, and especially during the last one. As many of the sex positions will start to feel uncomfortable as the belly gets bigger, good-old oral sex will never disappoint. 

Also, if you are worried about a pregnant partner swallowing the sperm, don’t be. Sperm cannot affect the baby in any way so you can freely choose it each time you’re simply not up for penetrative sex or want to use it as foreplay. 

7. Anal Sex

Anal sex might not be the first position you will think about when being pregnant, however, it’s completely safe. You can practice anal sex with your partner at your rear or even while in the spooning position. So, if you usually do it the doggy style, why not change it a bit with anal penetration? 

One thing you’ll need to keep in mind is that it would be good to already have experience in anal sex before pregnancy as the pregnant partner might feel too much discomfort and pain. The experience will not harm the baby, yet the woman might feel emotional stress as a result of it.

The Bottom Line

Whichever of these sex positions you will try out, you should always practice them with caution. If a pregnant partner starts feeling uncomfortable, it’s time to either change the position or stop completely. Always communicate before, during, and after sex to make sure you’re both on the same page. Having sex can incredibly improve your intimacy and connect you two even more during this experience. After all, you should be enjoying pregnancy sex, so do it right!

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

What Do 50 Year Old Men Want In Bed

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What Do 50 Year Old Men Want In Bed

 

If you’re in your 50’s and started a relationship, you are probably asking yourself what do 50 year old men want in bed. Understanding what your partner needs in bed is crucial for any relationship to work. A man in his 50’s is not much different from men of other ages, yet there are a few things that differentiate them from the rest of the male population. 

In this article, you will find all the specific traits that 50 year old men want to see in bed from their sexual partner. Before we dive into these valuable tips, keep in mind that there is one aspect that will affect how well you two get along in the bedroom, and that’s open communication. Share your likes and dislikes and ask him what his preferences are. A good conversation is often the best start to beautiful experiences. 

1.Love Yourself First

As much as confidence and self-love are vital for any relationship we decide to build in our lives, the lack of it at this age will be a turn-off for most of the men in their 50’s. An older man will find it difficult to connect with a woman who has low self-confidence. After you’ve experienced a bunch of ups and downs, you should already be comfortable with who you are. Embrace your body and personality, and allow yourself to experience something beautiful where you can be yourself.

2. Intimacy Over Sex

You might assume that men, and especially older men, are looking only for sex. As much as women, men like to enjoy the act of sex and maybe some of them will need it more often than most women do, yet each of them prefers intimacy over sex. So, you should aim for intimacy if you’re dating a 50 year old man. He wants to feel close to you and the best way to be intimate is to take your time when having sex. 

3. Be Playful

There might be different personalities when talking about men in their 50’s, yet they all like playful, confident women. Playing in bed, exploring each other’s bodies, understanding what you both like, and just having fun is what every 50 year old man will want. Many things should be taken seriously in life, and sex is not one of them. Try to be more creative and open to different options, positions and places as you definitely won’t regret it. 

4. Take Initiative

When you were younger, you might have waited for a man to ask for your number, invite you for dinner or initiate sex, however, now, that’s not that sexy. You are a self-sufficient woman who knows how to get what she wants, and if she wants a man, she knows how to get his attention. If you’re in a relationship with an older man, he will be more than happy if you initiate sex as well. Making him feel desired and attractive to you is more powerful than any other aphrodisiac on the planet. 

5. Take Him Out Of Bed

When talking about you initiating sex, how about you take it one or more steps further – literary? You can do it on the counter, against the wall, on your balcony, in the shower, or somewhere outside your home. You can even take him to a location you have found and plan a romantic picnic for the two of you and then surprise him with a little bit of action. If you’re not a fan of outdoor sex, you can still spice things up in the comfort of your home. 

6. Show Him His Your Hero

The same way you can’t completely revel in sex when you’re not at your best, he struggles with the same. Complimenting your man on how he fixed your dishwasher or how he painted the walls of your house goes a long way. And, you can compliment him on more than just the chores. You can also thank him for being such a great listener or show how impressed you are with the relationship he has with his kids. Showing you’re noticing his strengths will make him feel better about himself and of course, your relationship. Not to mention that he will also be motivated to give you a compliment or two.

7. Don’t Be Quick To Judge

If your sexual partner shares a fantasy he wants to try out with you, don’t judge him. You will make him feel bad about his suggestion and he will not be motivated to share his intimate thoughts with you. The same goes for any other aspects of his life. Don’t judge him for sleeping an hour later than usual as his work might be more stressful than usual. Don’t make him feel bad just because you see or hear something you dislike. Instead, talk to him to understand his reasons behind it and you will easily find the solution. 

8. Be His Friend

We’ve talked about intimacy, open-mindedness and taking initiative, yet all of these things come short if you are not friends. It’s difficult to be attracted to a person for a longer period if they are not significant to you. Try building that relationship the same way you do with your new friends. Talk about hopes, fears, hobbies, opinions, and everything else you usually share with your friends. This will significantly improve your sex life and the attraction you feel for one another. 

9. For More, Ask Him

We are all different and if you are doing all of the things above, why not simply ask him? By showing you want to please him in bed, he will see how important he is for you and that you are willing to do work on your relationship. When talking about sex, make sure you start the conversation by sharing your desires and asking for his feedback. By simply asking him a bunch of questions related to sex, he might feel attacked or as he might think he is not good enough for you. Show him that he means a lot to you and that you want to make sure you are both enjoying your relationship. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Your Partner Freezes

What To Do When Your Partner Freezes

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What To Do When Your Partner Freezes

 

If you were looking into ways to stimulate the vagus nerve, it’s probably because your partner freezes due to the dorsal vagal system. As the vagus has two branches, dorsal and ventral, the one responsible for freezing is the dorsal or back vagus. We share this primitive nerve with all animals, and it goes down our spine, impacting our lungs, heart, and stomach.

Usually, the dorsal vagus has a positive function when it helps our body pendulate between arousal and relaxation. Yet, when the sympathetic system gets too aroused, the dorsal vagus nerve might shut down, causing the entire system going into freeze. This usually occurs in cases of trauma and shame. 

When taking into consideration anxiety, stress, and depression, is it possible for your partner to become more resilient? There are several techniques you can practice the next time your partner freezes.

The Freeze State

If your partner is in the ‘freeze’ state, it means they went to the most primitive pattern, also known as the emergency state. If your partner is going through this state, it means they feel hopeless and are not able to find their way out. They will probably feel depressed, conserve their energy, dissociate, feel overwhelmed and confused. When experiencing the ‘freeze’ state, the person’s insulin activity and fuel storage will grow and their pain thresholds will grow as well. 

When they are in this stressed state which can also accumulate a lot of anxiety, it’s incredibly challenging to be curious or even empathetic. Moreover, they might struggle to break the prefrontal cortex, meaning they will not be able to function, communicate, guide, or coordinate the functions of different parts of their brain efficiently. Simply put, when a person freezes, they are not able to regulate their attention and focus. 

If this is something that your partner is going through. You are probably curious to learn techniques that might help them deal with it. 

#1 Deep Breathing

When anything is making us feel depressed, anxious, scared, or stressed, the simplest yet efficient technique is to focus on deep breathing. If your partner is struggling with freezing, advise them to start practicing deep breathing more. Breathing slowly and deeply will activate their vagus nerve. And send messages to the brain that will help them lower the blood pressure and heart rate. 

The best way to practice it is by turning it into a daily routine. This way the person will think of it as a solution more often when in this type of ‘emergency’ situation. They can practice it early in the morning before work or in the evening before going to sleep.

#2 Singing

This might not be the first thing that will come to mind when thinking about things your partner can do when struggling with freezing yet singing, humming or chanting can all successfully increase the heart rate variability. With the higher heart rate variability or HRV, the rate of morbidity and mortality will decrease and well-being and quality of life will significantly improve. 

If you wish to help your partner even more, why not help him with this fun technique? By turning it into an interesting activity for couples, they will no longer be focused on solving their ‘freezing’ situation. Instead, they will be busy having a great time with you!

#3 Exercise

You already know that regular exercise leads to many health benefits, so it’s not surprising that it also helps with the vagus nerve. Physical activity is good for your brain’s cognitive faculties, mental health, and gut flow. The reason why there are so many benefits from exercising is that it stimulates the vagus nerve.

When it comes to the types of exercises a person can do, it really depends on preferences. Maybe your partner loves jogging, so you can go with them to a nearby park for a morning jog. If they prefer going to the gym, why not surprise them with a paid subscription to the closest gym? Of course, if none of these activities is something you’d like to do with your partner, you can always offer your unconditional moral support. 

#4 Laughing

Your partner freezing is definitely not entertaining for you nor them, however, there are plenty of other things that make you both happy in this world, right? Think of laughing as a natural immune booster. Similar to singing, it increases heart rate variability. So if your partner doesn’t like singing, laughing will surely be something they might be more interested in.

Think about your favorite comedy movies and organize a movie night at home. Or, take them to a stand-up comedy event to laugh at jokes with a bigger audience. They might have a friend who is incredibly funny and entertains everyone around them. Set up dinner at home or you invite them to a barbeque. So your partner can have a great time and increase their heart rate variability without even thinking about it. 

#5 Cold Exposure

Being exposed to cold temperatures also helps with freezing in a way it increases the rest and digest response, however, be careful with this one. This doesn’t mean you should sleep with an open window in the middle of the winter or walk around with short sleeves when it’s snowing. It simply means that your partner can have a cold shower before going to bed, drink cold beverages during the day and spend more time outside if the temperatures are low. Introducing cold to your body helps also those who have sleep issues. 

So, your partner might need to think about changing their cup of coffee for a cold version of it. Or doing outdoor activities instead of staying at home or going to the gym.

In Final Words

If your partner is experiencing freezing and you weren’t sure how to provide him with the support he needs. This article offered you several efficient techniques that might help in this situation. However, it’s always recommended to talk to a professional as they will treat anxiety, stress, or depression better than these tools we have provided here. Be there for them and show them you understand what they are going through.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

What To Ask From An Escort

What To Ask From An Escort

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What To Ask From An Escort

 

You are maybe feeling lonely or looking for a date for this big event your company is throwing, and you’re curious about what to ask from an escort as it seems like the most viable option for you at the moment. If you’ve decided to go on a date with an escort, you will notice many dating services out there you can easily call and request a companion for the occasion you need. 

If you feel intimidated or overwhelmed with the entire experience, you probably want to learn how to get the service quality you need. The common advice is to think of it like any other date, yet always do a background check on your chosen escort agency and the laws about escorting in your area. 

Once you have done proper research and you’re all set to make the call, just follow these guidelines and make sure you’re confident and straightforward in the conversation. 

#1 Explain Your Request

Once you are sure that the escort agency is not a scam, you should call the escort and start the conversation with them. Explain to them why you need their services, so they can provide you also with the information you need. For instance, you might need them to be your date for a wedding or a business event in your company. Whichever the occasion is, you will need to be clear and not hide anything from the escort. 

You don’t have to lay out too much about the event or yourself. Just share the important details such as the date, city, and the nature of the event so the escort knows what is expected of them. The rest of it can be discussed later in the conversation. 

#2 Age

The most important question you will need to ask when hiring an escort is their age. The person needs to be of the right and legal age if you don’t wish to end up in more problems you can handle. When asking about the age, you can ask for some type of identification from them as well. 

The easiest way to do so is via a video call and asking them to show you their ID. Any weird answer or stalling should immediately be a red flag for you and you shouldn’t hire that person and their escorting services. 

#3 Rate

When hiring any professional, you always ask for the price before paying for it. The same is with the escort. Ask in advance for their rate as it will show you if this person’s services are within your budget or not. However, as much as you wish to avoid hiring a professional that is too expensive, avoid those who seem too cheap as well. They probably will not offer the best services and you might end up with a horrible experience. 

Find the quality you can pay for as you will leave an impression wherever you go with your chosen escort. It should be a pleasant experience from the first to the last moment of the date. 

#4 Photo

You should ask them for their photo if you agreed to hire them. Imagine a situation where you are picking them up in your car and you see dozens of beautiful women walking down the street and you have no idea which one is she. Once you both agreed, ask kindly for their photo and explain to them why you are asking for it. 

If they are not okay with sharing their photos due to a certain reason, just set up a way for you two to recognize each other. It might be that you will call them when you’re there and talk to them until you see them, or you might video call them and figure it out even more easily. 

#5 Date Details

Besides the information about the escort, you will need to determine the date details with them to make sure everything goes well. Be clear about the place and the time you will meet, where you will go, what is expected of the escort and when the date will end. If there is a certain dress code, make sure you share it with them on time. 

It might seem irrelevant to you, yet you might take an escort to a boat party and find out there that they are seasick every time they get on a boat. Also, if they need to talk to someone important to you, like your boss or a friend, make sure you inform them about it so they can leave a good impression. 

Staying Safe

All of these questions you will ask are equally important as much as how the date goes when you are with the escort. If you start suspecting that something is off, it’s because it probably is. End the date with them and give them money for the taxi if you’re uncertain whether driving them back is a good idea or not. Your safety should always be your priority and as much as you took all the precaution measures you could think of, it might not go well as planned. 

Also, before going to this event with an escort, always make sure that your family or friends know where you will be and when you are thinking of going back to your home. You don’t have to share with anybody that you’re going there with an escort, yet knowing where you are will also help you feel more comfortable if this is the first time you’re hiring an escort. 

In Final Words

You’ve probably heard of many scams in the escorting world, and you probably want to avoid these situations as much as possible. So, make sure you ask for all the information that will turn this into a positive experience in the beginning. 

Don’t be afraid to ask if something seems wrong. Ask for clarifications, repeat the question if you’re not sure it was answered, and do proper research of the agency. Keep in mind that you are the client here and you have every right to check the quality of service before paying for it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Foot Fetish Therapy: Are You A Foot Fetishist?

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Foot Fetish Therapy: Are You A Foot Fetishist?

 

You’ve probably heard that many therapists are now helping people dealing with various fetishes yet have you heard of foot fetish therapy? When talking about the sexual love of feet, besides foot fetishism, you are maybe familiar with terms such as foot worship and foot partialism. All of these three terms have in common the sexual attraction towards human feet. For instance, if you only enjoy seeing beautiful feet and don’t feel any attraction to them, then you wouldn’t be considered a foot fetishist or podophile, as psychology often refers to it. 

What Does It Take To Be A Foot Fetishist?

Just by doing a simple search on Google for ‘foot fetishes’, you will find hundreds of web pages and if you dig deeper, there’s an incredible number of variations and styles for those who are new to this. From finding porn movies that focus on feet and build the story around it to the articles that discover names of a few famous people who were allegedly foot fetishists, such as Elvis Presley, Ted Bundy and Thomas Hardy. 

A food fetish can be very specific, so the podophile might care a lot about one’s foot dimensions and features. Usually, they will be interested in the size of the foot, toes and heel; the shape of the foot, adornments and embellishments, and many other details that wouldn’t even come to mind to somebody who doesn’t fantasize about feet. A podohile will be aroused when thinking about their interaction with the feet, for instance, massaging, kissing, tickling, touching, sucking, and so on. 

There are also sub-categories of the foot fetish. A person can be really into footwear instead of just feet (retifism) or they can be sexually excited only when they see naked feet (aretifism).

How Psychologists See Foot Fetishes

When looking from the perspective of psychology, the foot fetishes concerns early childhood experiences where sexual responses are usually paired with non-sexual objects. Moreover, the feet are typically the first part of the parent’s body a toddler will touch and vise versa. A more general view of this fetish would be that sexual attraction towards something will be much stronger if the object of your desire is less available.

Think about it, you will often notice someone’s smile, eyes, hands, yet you will rarely see a person’s feet when you meet them. As this explanation is definitely not a rule, various factors might affect developing a foot fetish. Having a fetish like this means absolutely nothing for your physical and mental health. In other words, being attracted to beautiful feet will not affect your life in any way as long as your fetish is not dominating your other aspects of life. 

First-time Experimenting with Feet

It might be that you’ve always been attracted to feet yet you never shared that with anyone or tried it. So, if you’re curious to see how your love for feet can lead to a great sexual experience. Here’s a few tips to make it as enjoyable as possible:

  • Always be aware of hygiene. The person who will have its feet touched, kissed or licked should make sure that their feet are clean. As much as some people get excited by the smell of sweat after a long day of wearing footwear, try to avoid this type of game as many bacterias might lead to health issues later.
  • Both sides need to agree on the foot game. Even if your partner said they wish to try it with you. Make sure that you ask them if this is the first time for both of you as they might feel really uncomfortable. 
  • Be creative. If you’re not sure whether you’ll be into kissing feet immediately, start slow. There are numerous ways to interact with your partner’s feet, from painting nails and massaging to taking photos of your partner’s feet. 
  • Dust yourself off and try again if the first time was a failure. Maybe you or your partner need more practice and if you’re both open to it, why not continue doing it?

Foot Fetishist or Just Curious?

You will easily know are you a foot fetishist or just curious and willing to explore different ways of playing games and having sex. Does the idea of feet excite you? When a person is showing their feet, is it hard for you to focus on anything else? When in bed with someone, do you take a look at their feet more than at their face?

If your answer to each of these questions is ‘YES’, then you are a foot fetishist. If your answer to all of them was ‘NO’. Then it might be you just love trying out different things sexually. This, of course. Doesn’t mean that a person that is not a foot fetishist doesn’t notice feet or doesn’t find them attractive. It’s just not as crucial for them as it is for foot fetishists.

A foot fetishist will usually be aware of his fetish as it will come up every time they see beautiful feet. They might have noticed it in their teen years or even earlier. Yet it rarely happens that an adult person wasn’t aware they have a foot fetish. However, if you feel confused and are not sure whether you’re a foot fetishist or not. It’s always a great idea to talk to a professional.

Foot Fetish Therapy

Just like it is with any issue you might have in your life. The best advice someone can give you is to talk to a therapist. As much as they seem harmless, fetishes can sometimes become out of our control and start affecting our everyday life. For instance, you might talk to your best friend’s wife and you get aroused by her feet. Or you’ll have an interview to work at the local beach bar and the people there will wear flip flops.

Just like with everything else, having a foot fetish is only good if it’s not too much. If your foot fetish leads to more creative, sensual sex with your partner, that’s great. On the other hand, if it turns normal, everyday situations into something challenging and stressful for you. It’s best to seek help and obtain tools that will help you deal with your foot fetish. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Mommy Kink: Definition & Ways To Practice It

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Mommy Kink: Definition & Ways To Practice It

 

You’ve probably already heard about daddy kink, yet mommy kink is not as known. The reason for it is that both of these concepts are not as commonly discussed! 

Yet, there’s no doubt that mommy kink is here to stay. 

Mommy kink is a sexual or/and romantic attraction for women who care for you, protect you, and provide you with “unconditional” positive regard. This woman will be in a relationship with you and will treat you like her loving little child. The goal with a mommy kink is that you’ll be the center of her attention.

In a mommy kink, you can have the feeling of your ‘mommy’ caressing your hair, kissing your forehead, and pulling you into her arms. In a mommy kink, her arms are the safe, protected, loved and nurtured place. 

Who’s Your Mommy? 

In this context, a ‘mommy’ is a woman that enjoys caring for and treating her partner as a child, while in role. Also known as a mommy fetish, mommy kink is similar to daddy kink. 

Yet there are subtle differences between mommy and daddy kinks. The daddy kink is often based on guidance, as the little one needs a ‘daddy’ to protect them and tell them right from wrong. On the other hand, the mommy kink is primarily loving and nurturing. The mommy is protecting her little one and nurturing them from the rest of the world.

She is here to take away the problems you have and be your support for the time you are in role. This type of relationship is common for those who lead stressful lives. For instance, if a person is experiencing problems at work, they might need that certainty of nurturance at night. A mommy could help a person like this get out of bed and feel motivated.

This kink can occur in strictly sexual relationships as well, where there is no romantic attachment to the other person. Here, an individual will get sexually excited to think of their partner in the role of mom. They will enjoy the love and care coming from her, as they can leave responsibilities aside, and simply be taken care of by another. 

Mommy, Come Play With Me

So, if a woman is taking care of her submissive, how does this look in the sheets? 

The foreplay and the intercourse can be different from couple to couple. Therefore, there are various ways to practice mommy kink with your partner. 

Before you start practicing, it’s vital to discuss this kink with them. 

With every kink a person might have, it’s recommended to inform the other partner instead of surprising them with it during the scene. 

Tell your partner you’re fantasizing about trying out the roles of mommy and little. If they’re unfamiliar with this kink, explain it to them and share some of the examples or this blog. 

Whatever you do, do not share the hardcore examples of your kink with your partner if they are new to it. This will not provide you with what you want and chances are it will leave a mark on your sex life and your relationship. 

Once your partner has accepted wanting to try this role, introduce small things to your relationship. It’s best to start with small changes even if your partner is interested in exploring the kink, because sometimes they change their mind. 

Mommy Kink Sex

When it comes to sex, there are a variety of things you and your partner can try out. Some of them you’ve already tried, yet you weren’t aware they are part of the mommy kink concept. 

For instance, you might cuddle with your partner, or ‘mommy’ and ask her to breastfeed you. While enjoying kissing and licking her nipples, you can ask her to caress your hair and talk with a nice, calming voice.

Doesn’t sound so out of your realm, right? 

Of course, there are many other ways to practice mommy kink and it will depend on what you and your partner want. 

You might decide that this gentle, caring foreplay is perfect for those days when you both want to make love. Or, you might use this role play to get excited and continue with your regular partnered sex pattern. 

One thing is for sure, the options are limitless!

Mommy Kink Ideas

Now, it’s time to enjoy your mommy kink side! As mentioned above, it’s up to you to choose how you will practice it. If you’re thinking about ideas, you’ll see a list here for practicing mommy kink:

  • Seduce one another over the text messages by calling each other according to your roles. This will help prepare yourselves for action when you both get home. 
  • Start calling her ‘mommy’ as an invitation to come to bed and give you some love.
  • Use the time for foreplay to gently caress each other’s bodies and ask for her to hold you.
  • When you’re having an orgasm, call each other by your role names. 
  • This can also prolong the time you stay in bed after sex and simply cuddle. 

It’s up to you both to determine which are your mommy kink games and which aren’t. You should explore your kink and have fun with it. If it makes you both feel good and the sex is even better, the ideas will start appearing on its own!

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

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Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Daddy Kink: Explore Everything Behind It

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Daddy Kink: Explore Everything Behind It

 

What does it mean if a person has a daddy kink? Well, if you’re no stranger to juicy games that happen in the sheets, you’ve probably already heard of this term. Daddy kink implies you get excited from calling your partner ‘daddy’ and building your sex fantasies around it. As one of the kinks we barely talk about, it’s time to see what daddy kink is and how you can enjoy it without the feeling of guilt or embarrassment. 

What’s the Fuss With Daddy Kink?

Sex used to be a big taboo in the past and now, we’re all opening up a bit more and discussing our sexuality with our partners and friends. However, you don’t feel the same about all topics in the sex talks you’re having with your close ones, right? Talking about the way you get excited when calling your partner ‘daddy’ is one of these topics. 

As many will interpret this desire as a sign you have a problem in a relationship with your father, you’ll hold this as your biggest secret and share it only with your partner. There are even relationships where one partner is ashamed sharing this kink with the other as they think they will be judged, laughed at or they will harm their relationship. 

Daddy kink is just like any other kinks a person might have. Your sexuality is a place where there should only be acceptance and curiosity. Yet, before sharing it with others, it’s inevitable that you have accepted that this kink turns you on and that there’s nothing wrong with it. 

Daddy Kink Sex

Although the majority of sex games will begin before the actual act of intercourse, let’s take a look at what’s different in bed if you decide to practice your daddy kink. This type of spanking, name-calling and sometimes degrading domination would mean that a person calls their partner ‘daddy’ and they play the role of his baby. Putting the power into the hands of the partner, the person is submissive during the sexual act, and sometimes before and after it.

One of the common practices of the daddy kink sex would be the reward-punishment system. As your ‘daddy’, your partner has the right to reward or punish you, depending on how well you behave. So, he might ask you to be ‘good’ and kneel in front of him without saying a word, and if you perform well, he will reward you. 

On the other hand, if he feels like you’ve been ‘bad ’ during the day or the sex game, he might punish you. There are no limits when it comes to rewards and punishments. You can have a system in place with your partner or you can let him surprise you with his ideas. 

Your Man as a Daddy

When talking about daddy kink, we’ll usually cover the woman’s perspective on it. As much as women are the ones who will develop this type of kink, a man’s perspective is nothing less interesting. It’s not uncommon for a man to be turned on by his partner calling him daddy. 

A man who wants you to call him ‘daddy’ enjoys the power he has in order to bring sensational pleasure to both of you. He will think of the games, his own reward-punishment system and other details he’d like to try out with you. If you’re both determined to make the most of daddy kink, you’ll be in for more fun in the sheets and probably, outside of them as well.

Each Game Needs Two

Unfortunately, unlike many other sex kinks and games, this scenario has two roles to fill. There cannot be a baby without the daddy, and there cannot be a daddy without the baby. Even if you’re in a relationship, what happens if your partner is not into the daddy kink as much as you are? Understanding and accepting a concept like this can require some time. Maybe your partner is not so open to accepting a daddy kink idea at first instance, yet this might change with time.

Always communicate that this has nothing to do with your actual dad. It’s just a sex game, the same way you might ask to be a teacher and your partner your student. That doesn’t mean you want to become a teacher, it simply means you enjoy these roles and the power play it represents.

For those who are still not sure whether they like daddy kink or not, there are light versions of it as well. For example, you can just start with the name-calling, and the male partner can have more power in sex, such as being on top or asking for a blow job. 

Daddy Kink Ideas

There’s plenty of things you and your partner might come up with when it comes to letting your daddy kink shine. For those who are willing to explore it and don’t know how to start, here’s a list of ideas for daddy kink games. They are organized from the light to hardcore ones. 

  • During the foreplay, start calling each other ‘daddy’ and ‘baby girl/baby boy’. 
  • Before the penetration, he can decide which is the right moment and the position to penetrate.
  • He can tie your hands and/or blindfold your eyes during intercourse. In this case, he is the one making all the moves in bed and deciding when the game ends.
  • The baby can seduce the ‘daddy’ with their innocent, childish behavior which then leads to sex.
  • The man can use its ‘daddy’ power to dominate his partner into doing what he wants before, during and after sex.

Whatever you choose, thinking of it as something you’re currently exploring. You might like some of these things and you might reject others. It all depends on your and your partner’s preferences. As long as you’re both communicating about your desires, you will enjoy your daddy kink sex!

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

kink ideas

Kink Ideas Every Couple Needs to Try Out

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 Kink Idea Every Couple Needs to Try Out

 

You don’t have to be a ‘50 Shades of Grey’ fan to know one or two kink ideas that will spice up your sex life. After all, turning your wildest fantasies into reality with your sex partner is something we all need from time to time to avoid getting stuck in the routine. So, how many of these ideas have already been crossing your mind, yet you somehow missed to fulfill them?

Well, if you still need a bit of motivation and to hear about a few more ideas that other kinksters recommend. You will easily find something you and your partner will want to try out. So, from the tame to the wild, these are all the ideas that might shake things up for you!

The Mirror Game

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the kinkiest of them all? If you and your sex partner would love to see how your kinky sides look like, why not start having sex in front of the mirror? You can explore each other bodies better and enjoy the faces your partner is doing while you’re having sex. 

This will give you both a better view and also add an additional dimension to your sex life. From enjoying how their touch feels to fall in love with their facial expressions, there is nothing you will not love when it comes to the mirror game. 

Ice Me, Baby

When we’re stuck with our daily responsibilities, we often forget that just a little prop that everyone has in their homes can light that flame and lead to the wildest sex of your life. For instance, you might get ice cubes and start rolling them down your partner’s neck while kissing them on the lips and asking them to close their eyes.

Then, you can start going lower with the ice cube all the way to their belly button. During all of this icy game, you can kiss, lick, bite, and tease them to heighten their sense. For those who want to take it a step further, you can blindfold your partner, so they can get a more sensual experience. 

Text Dirty To Me

Working hard is not a good enough excuse to stop heating things up between the two of you, right? Although sometimes it’s really challenging to find time for sex games, you will always have a minute to text. So, why not send a dirty text to your partner and share with them what’s on your (dirty) mind? Forget about the limitations, share with them the juiciest details on how you would like to do it, where, for how long, etc. 

Of course, it can also be voice messages or phone calls. You can call your partner and talk dirty to them, and use it as an invitation to spend the lunch break together in a car having sex. Or, you can send a sexy massage to your partner with instructions for the game you both will be playing once you get home. 

Role Play

There are no limitations when it comes to all the scenarios you can play out with your partner in bed. You can do whatever you want, and you can also be whoever you want. So, if you or your sex partner have a thing for doctors, teachers, handymen. Or any other role, why not turn it into reality?

You can be the sexy teacher and your partner can be a naughty student who hasn’t finished their homework and needs to be punished. Or, your partner can be a hot doctor and you are a worried patient in a lot of pain. Whichever role you chose, make sure you get into it completely. You can choose an accent, put on a wig, buy an appropriate outfit, and take your game to a place where your characters will come to life even more.

Watch Me Get It On

You might not be immediately encouraged to try to masturbate in front of your partner. Yet this is great foreplay for both of you. Allow your partner to watch you pleasure yourself, and don’t restrain yourself from anything you’d like to do. Whatever turns you on will turn on your partner even more!

For those who feel great about this kink idea, you can even put on a show where you start dancing to your partner’s favorite music and start touching yourself until you end up on a bed or a couch next to them masturbating. 

 

Ready, Set, Record!

Many couples feel incredibly sexy and motivated to throw on a great sex performance when they know they are recording themselves. Ask your partner how they feel about it, and if they like the idea, start recording your sex. You don’t need any special equipment like a professional camera and lighting. After all, you’re not interested in a well-produced movie. 

Instead, you and your partner are looking for some fun, and having a tape of you two in between the sheet might light that kinky flame between you. Maybe you will not even watch your hot piece of art. Yet you might get additional pleasure just by knowing you’re recording.

Outdoor Sex

Feeling a little bit of fear of being exposed while having sex is like an aphrodisiac for many people. Having sex in public places has this intensive combination of fear, uncertainty, and it’s spontaneous – most of the time. It’s up to you and your partner to choose a place where you want to do it. For instance, it can be a bathroom of a cafe or a restaurant, a parking lot during late hours, a bench in a park, behind a tree, etc. 

As long as it’s outdoor, it’s considered to be public sex. For those who are a little bit shy yet still want to try out this kink idea, you should start with places that have a very minimal possibility of someone catching you in your wildest moments. 

When it comes to kink ideas, it’s completely up to your partner and yourself to determine what you want to try out and what is not for you. If an idea doesn’t seem comfortable to you for whatever reason, just don’t do it. You should only be up for the ideas that will improve your sex life, not make it worse!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex With Wife

Sex With Wife: No More Taboos in the Bedroom

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Sex With Wife: No More Taboos in the Bedroom

 

If you’re married, a topic like sex with wife is something that will always catch your attention, right? There are plenty of reasons why sex in marriage is always an interesting topic, even for those who are still not married. Nobody can deny that sex is one of the crucial aspects of each relationship. So, if you and your wife have ever had issues in the bedroom, you know how frustrating it can be to discuss these issues and find quality solutions.

Marriage takes a lot of effort, and sex comes as a result of that effort. What changed from that era when you two were having a lot of sex? Are there any things you are missing during the intercourse? Is your career, health or maybe the relationship between you two affecting your or your wife’s sexual appetite? 

If any of these questions seem relevant to you, here is everything you’d like to know about sex with your wife, yet haven’t had the time or courage to explore it deeper. 

When does sex with wife change in marriage?

There is no precise moment when changes in your marriage start occurring, and the same is with your sexual life. Once married, some people will start to take many things for granted – eating breakfast together, cooking a new meal together, holding hands, cuddling in bed, and everything else that’s considered a typical activity for passionate couples.

The issues occur when routine kicks in, and you put your other responsibilities above your marriage and don’t make time for each other. And, that’s where the problem lies – intimacy. When you meet a new person, by talking to her, cuddling with her and, of course, having sex with her, you are both being intimate. 

Once people feel they know each other well enough, they stop being curious about each other. Yet, intimacy has nothing to do with new things or people in our lives. You can be intimate with your wife when sharing a stressful event from work or talking about a discussion you had with a family member.

These moments create intimacy between spouses, and the more you create of them, the more you will feel that sexual desire. Luckily, even if you find yourself in this unpleasant situation where you don’t know how to light a flame between the two of you, there are a few things you can do to improve things. 

What can I do to have more sex with my wife? 

If your wife is not interested to have sex with you when you propose it, there are several things you can do to change the situation. Start creating more time for the both of you which doesn’t have to lead to sex. For example, you can take her out on a dinner date in the same restaurant where the first one took place. Or, you can suggest doing an activity you both have never done so far (bowling, bungee jumping, snorkeling, etc.). 

It might sound harsh, yet you need to create more room for your relationship in your wife’s life. She is probably too tired of all the responsibilities and doesn’t have enough energy after a long day to dedicate her quality time to you. So, although you might not be motivated to do the dishes or wash the clothes, if it’s going to give her more time to be intimate with you, just do it. 

How to be more intimate with my wife?

You might think that you know all about each other, and even if that’s the case, do you know what she did today or yesterday? Keep in mind that topics for marriage conversations shouldn’t always involve daily activities and responsibilities. Talk about things that you miss, that you wish to do more with her, and ask her what she needs. These conversations are incredibly valuable and can improve the quality of your relationships.

You cannot expect to have more sex with your wife if other aspects of your marriage are failing. Clear the air first, and then the sexual desire will appear in both of you. There is no magic trick to bring the fire into the bedroom, yet it never appears when the couple has lost their intimacy.

Here are some ideas on what you can do to increase intimacy and have more sex with your wife:

  • Surprise her with a home cooked dinner. Light some candles, put on some nice music and turn off your devices. Make the night all about her.
  • Take her for a road trip to a charming city or village nearby. Use the drive to talk more about your relationship and tell her how you wish to use this day to make a beautiful memory for both of you.
  • If she is having a stressful day, text her you’ll do the house chores and that you already booked her a massage in her favorite spa saloon. 
  • If you’re working on weekends, invite her friends to surprise her with a bottle of wine and a nice talk in your home.
  • Write her a letter. It can be about how you feel about her, what you wish for in your marriage or anything else that might bring you closer together.

It’s quite simple actually! If your sexual desire hasn’t changed and hers did, something else must have changed for her as well. Does she have more responsibilities at home now? Has she accepted a promotion that leads to more stress? Is she doing all those little things that make her happy? If the answer to any of these questions is ‘no’, think about how you can help her. 

Which things can harm your sexual life in marriage?

Even with the best intentions, one can easily harm their marital life. If your wife said she is not interested, don’t push her. Rather, try to find out what makes her uninterested in having sex with you at that moment. Maybe the timing is not right as she feels tired, in pain or stressed out.

Also, don’t turn sex conversations into a taboo in your marriage. When you both have a moment, talk about what sex represents for you and what needs to change in order to be more sexually intimate with each other. The more you understand each other, the easier it will be to restore that connection.

 

How can you expect her to understand you need more sex or want to change a few things if you are unable to understand her first? Talk first, and once you really have more understanding of the situation you are both in, it will be easier to act.

Maybe you will need to plan to spend more time together during the week, send kids to their grandparents for the weekend, or travel somewhere to enjoy that good sex you used to have. And, don’t think of these ideas as a solution. You will not always be able to escape the city, or spend endless hours together on days you’re both working. Instead, think of it as a fresh start of a marriage you will both nurture by being more intimate daily.

Lastly, don’t isolate sex from intimacy, think of it as an entire package. The more you both are attentive to each other, that intimacy will spread around other aspects of your lives, including sexual. In the end, what’s better than having sex with the person you have chosen for a lifetime?

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Real Orgasm: No Need To Fake It Anymore

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Real Orgasm: No Need To Fake It Anymore

 

When was the last time you had a really good, real orgasm? Yeah, we’re talking about the ones where you really enjoyed it and didn’t fake it just to get it over with. Having an orgasm is so much more than just finalizing the intercourse between you and your sexual partner. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of discussions to be held until we all feel comfortable talking about what excites us, what we don’t like and what is necessary for one person to have a good orgasm.

Why fake it?

Although you will instantly imagine a woman when talking about faking orgasms, did you know that men can also fake an orgasm? So, why does one feel the need to fake an orgasm? This happens more often in long-term relationships than in only-sex agreements between two people. The reason for that is pretty obvious – you don’t want to hurt the other person. However, why have we normalized working on every aspect of our relationships besides the sexual? 

Maybe sex is no longer a taboo in media or on social platforms yet it still is in relationships. Hurting your partner is not the only bad outcome you can have from faking an orgasm. That feeling of mutual excitement and satisfaction is very unique and denying yourself the right to enjoy it every time you have sex would mean losing something pretty valuable.

Which benefits does an orgasm have for a person?  

Having a real orgasm will provide you with incredible health benefits. So, the next time you think about faking it, think about it as something good for your health, not just for your sex life. Here are just some of the benefits you can expect to notice from good, real orgasms:

  • An orgasm has impressive sedating powers. When climaxing, it triggers surges of oxytocin and prolactin, the relaxant hormones in our bodies, which when combined with the release of endorphins can result in feeling sleepy. 
  • It regulates your cycle. When you’re having an orgasm, blood and nutrients rush to the vagina making sure everything is working perfectly down there. 
  • It lowers your cortisol levels and takes care of your heart. This way, you don’t have to fear heart diseases that come from elevated levels of cortisol. 
  • During orgasm, the human growth hormone is being released, which also stimulates collagen.
  • Each time you have an orgasm, your pelvic muscles will contract and release, toning your pelvic floor which is pretty important for your core strength, bladder control, etc. 

Besides these stunning health benefits, a real orgasm also makes you closer to your partner. The oxytocin will surge after the orgasm and it will even deepen the connection you have with your partner. If you were wondering what makes you want to cuddle so much after sex, there’s your explanation!

How to get there?

Faking it or not, we all know that to get to orgasm takes more than just snapping your fingers. How to orgasm more often is what many of us want to learn, so to help you enjoy sex more, here are the best tips on how to orgasm more. 

For women, the clitoris is their go-to climaxing place. Many pleasures and releases of orgasm come actually from the clitoris, yet not every woman prefers the same touch. You will need to treat it very individually and learn what each woman likes and dislikes. After all, the preferred touch will help a woman climax quicker and better.

Others will climax when their partner is in contact with their G-spot, placed between the vaginal opening and cervix. Although you cannot see it, you can easily feel it with your finger. When pressing on the G-spot with a finger, penis or vibrator, many women will feel very excited which will then lead to a very pleasant orgasm.  

For those looking for more pleasure, you should go for blended orgasm. This type of climax occurs when more than one of your erogenous zones are being stimulated at the same time. For instance, it can be a G-spot penetration with a little bit of clitoral touching. What you can expect is an explosive orgasm due to the fact of feeling pleasure in different spots of your body. 

In reality, the more orgasms you have, the more you can expect in the future. More practice brings more pleasure. Have an honest conversation with your sexual partner about what you both like and dislike in bed and dedicate some time to explore how both of you can reach maximum pleasure while having sex. 

How to know if your partner is faking it?

Maybe your partner will not be so opened to this conversation and you’ll need to point out the signs that they are not enjoying sex as much as they say they do. These signs are not too obvious and sometimes, they will depend on the person, yet there are several things you might notice if you suspect your sexual life is not as good as you both wish it to be. 

Orgasming on demand.

If your partner comes after you’ve repeatedly asked them to, chances are they are faking it. Adding too much pressure will not get the person to orgasm faster. Instead, focus more on doing the things you know your partner enjoys in bed and forget about the orgasm as the goal.

No foreplay.

This is more for women as they tend to need more foreplay to climax. Skipping foreplay and jumping into sex immediately might be good for a quicky every once in a while, however, don’t turn it into a habit. Try out that thing you read about in your favorite magazine or do something you both once talked about and never did. Don’t limit yourself, explore the world of pleasure and orgasm will come as a delicious dessert for the both of you. 

No contractions.

When the majority of women are climaxing, you will be able to feel their vagina is pulsing. These pelvic muscle contractions will indicate that the vagina walls are gripping. In other words, the woman is experiencing a real orgasm. So, if you hear her screaming that she’s about to come, focus a bit on her pelvic muscles and see if they’re pulsing. If not, it’s time for that real sex talk!

Make your pleasure a priority

Man or woman, we all deserve to feel sexual pleasure. The reason why women don’t have so many orgasms as men do is that they don’t prioritize their pleasure. They will usually think that sex is enough, often forgetting how liberating and sensual an orgasm can be for them. If you and your sexual partner are planning to heat the atmosphere today, think about the things you need to feel the pleasure you deserve. 

Maybe it’s longer foreplay, maybe it’s more clit-game, or maybe you need a bit of a role play. Whatever it is, share it with your partner and get yourself that orgasm you deserve!

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Anger After Sex & 5 Ways To Cope With It

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Anger After Sex & 5 Ways To Cope With It

Have you ever experienced anxiety, sadness or anger after sex? As much as it sounds unusual, this is a pretty common condition that might happen to anybody. However, if it only happened once or twice while having sex with your partner, it’s quite different than when it starts happening frequently. The name behind this condition when a person gets sad or angry after sex with their partner is postcoital dysphoria or PCD.

Before talking about the best ways to cope with anger after sex, let’s take a look at what is postcoital dysphoria and how to know if you have it. 

Postcoital Dysphoria

If you’re feeling sad or angry after having consensual sex with your partner, you might have postcoital dysphoria or PCD. Another way to refer to this condition is having ‘post-sex blues’. 

Most people describe it as experiencing one or more negative feelings after having wanted sex. This means that their condition before sex was quite different from the one they end up with after the intercourse. This feeling doesn’t have to be only anger, a person can also experience sadness, anxiety, agitation and depression. 

Keep in mind that postcoital dysphoria differs from sexual dysfunctions as they refer to the stage of before or during sexual activity. People who experience PCD tend to feel melancholic, irritated or depressed after sex. Postcoital dysphoria can also happen after the person has had enjoyed the sex and had an orgasm. Although it occurs more in women, it can happen to both men and women. 

PCD Symptoms & Causes

There are various symptoms a person with postcoital dysphoria can experience. Here are some of the most common ones:

  • Irritability
  • Tearfulness
  • Sadness
  • Anxiety 
  • Depression
  • Unsatisfaction

What’s important to say is that postcoital dysphoria only refers to negative feelings after consensual sex that the person has actually enjoyed. It definitely doesn’t refer to assaults or forced sexual activities. 

Many factors can lead to postcoital dysphoria, and the majority of them are of physical or emotional nature. 

Abuse

If a person experienced sexual abuse in their childhood, it means they might be more at risk for PCD. As a victim of sexual abuse, a person might have difficulties enjoying their own sexuality and connect with their partner on that level. Even if many years have passed, a person can develop postcoital dysphoria later in life. 

Resentment

A victim of sexual abuse might feel resentful toward sex or any sexual experience they had. The feeling of not having complete control over these experiences can cause anxiety and create resentment which then shows after the sex. 

Anxiety

Any childhood trauma might lead to anxiety and depression, and one of the most vulnerable parts of our identity is usually our sexuality. So, having mental health conditions can make it almost impossible for you to take pleasure in the act of sex. 

Postnatal Depression

After pregnancy‌, a woman will still experience hormonal fluctuations which might lead to postnatal depression. Also known as postpartum depression, this type of depression occurs shortly after the person gives birth. Similar to anxiety, postnatal depression can make a woman feel really sad after sex she truly enjoyed.

5 Ways to Cope With Anger After Sex

If any of this sounds familiar to you, what can you do to manage the anger you feel after sex? Take a look at the best ways to cope with postcoital dysphoria and soon, you will be able to enjoy the sex with your partner.

#1 Focus on breathing.

With anything that makes us feel uncomfortable, breathing should usually make it a bit better. So, if you and your partner have just had great sex and anger start kicking in, try recentering and focusing back on your body and simply breathing while doing so. Being present in the moment will help you lower the anger and remove your focus from it until it disappears. 

#2 Communicate during sex.

Make sure you let your partner know if something makes you feel uncomfortable or angry. Don’t ignore it thinking it will go away because it won’t. You don’t have to start a deep conversation during sex, just take control over how you are feeling and ask for what you need. 

#3 Share it with your partner.

If your partner is aware of what you are going through, it will be easier for them to support you. Have an honest conversation on what happens and how you feel during and after sex. This will help your partner to also give you want you might need without you asking it. For instance, they will give you more control in bed or they will be more gentle instead of just fulfilling their needs.

#4 Clarify when you want to have sex.

As much as it’s important to communicate with your partner about the anger you feel after sex, you will need to have that conversation with yourself as well. After all, you are the only person that can change the situation when you start feeling uncomfortable. So, think about when you feel motivated to have sex and always focus on your feelings before initiating it. Think about what causes this anger and find an alternative solution for it. 

#5 Cuddle after sex.

The majority of the postcoital dysphoria causes are from childhood traumas. Not having a caring, gentle component, sex can seem to an abuse victim as something unpleasant. So, suggest to your partner that each time after sex, you stay in bed and cuddle. This will help you feel protected, loved and secured in the arms of a person you love. You can also share intimate moments like this more even when you’re not having sex as it improves intimacy and brings you closer. 

Feeling anger after sex is not untreatable. However, if you and your partner aren’t able to solve it on your own, it would be a good idea to see a therapist who might have a better idea of how you should cope with this. Maybe the causes of your postcoital dysphoria are not what you are assuming and you will need the help of a professional to finally start enjoying sex with your partner. Once you find us what’s causing the anger, the way how you feel about sex and intimacy will change completely as well!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Fetster: BDSM Dating App Like No Other

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Fetster: BDSM Dating App Like No Other

 

You have probably already heard about Fetster, a dating app perfect for those who are unable to find what they need on other popular apps like Tinder or Bumble. So, if you’ve spent quite some time trying to find your match on a dating app or two, maybe it’s time to pull out your kink side and explore alternative options!

Fetster is a dating site for BDSM and kink enthusiasts who are looking to spice up their everyday lives and turn their fantasies into reality. However, it’s also for those who are tired of talking to people who will turn out to be a waste of their time. We’re talking about scammers, liars, people looking to hook up who later disappear, married ones who are hiding it, etc. 

Fetster vs other dating apps

The reason why Fetster is becoming so increasingly popular is that it’s a place focusing on sex games instead of selling a fairytale with an expiration date. On Fetster, you can easily find people who are single or in an open relationship, and willing to meet and play. What differentiates it from other dating apps on the market is the ability to search for specific people using filters such as gender, sexual orientation, age, location, body type, sexual preferences, kinks and so much more. 

You can even create your own groups, create pages, write a blog, add links to your website. Friend app members, upload photos and videos, and use numerous other features it has. It’s created in a way that each member determines the level of privacy they wish for each information they share on Fetster, understanding that a person doesn’t want to reveal everything to everyone.

So, if you’ve been wondering what the fuss is about, think about it as a place that connects over similar sexual interests and curiosity rather than being a general dating app with mediocre matching skills. By being a place that gathers all proud sex freaks and also those entering the BDSM world, Fetster tries to avoid scammers and anyone else trying to sell you something you are not interested to buy.

Diving into BDSM

Fetster is so much more than just a dating app as its goal is not to match you with your significant other and write a new chapter of your romantic life yet to explore and learn more about sex and the connection between two human beings. As it’s one of the most popular sites for those wishing to meet other fans of BDSM. You can expect to find all types of kinks there.

If you don’t know what BDSM stands for, it’s an acronym for bondage & discipline, domination & submission, sadism & masochism. Before explaining these erotic behavior groups, it’s important to know that BDSM involves more than just sex. Those practicing it for years even like to call it a philosophy. It’s also about a couple’s dynamic, their perspectives, fantasies, intrigue, and so much more. For them, sex is only one, although very important, aspect of BDSM.

However, if you still aren’t comfortable with letting your kink side out, yet are curious to learn more about it, make sure you do your research before jumping into BDSM. It’s a concept where you need to speak your mind, compromise with the person you decide to share this experience with, and set your limits before getting to the sex part. Also, keep in mind that you can take it slow, and learn about it step by step.

Bondage 

Bondage is a situation of restricting your sexual partner’s movement by using, for instance, handcuffs or ropes. For some people, this type of restraint increases sexual pleasure and produces various sensations in different areas of the body. 

Discipline

Similar to discipline in our everyday lives, discipline here involves a set of rules and punishments which are agreed on before the sexual encounter. It divides the couple into a dominant partner and a submissive one. Putting the dominant partner in charge of the discipline before, during and after sex. 

Dominance

Dominance refers to the act of dominating the other person in sex and outside it. Sometimes, those who are dominating will have different types of arrangement with their sexual partner on how the partner should behave in bed, and even out of it. This can be anything, from clothing style to food habits.

Submission

Where there’s dominance, there’s submission as well. The submissive partner will follow their dominant’s actions by ensuring that regulations from their arrangement are not broken. The dominant (dom) and the submissive (sub) are focused on communication. As it’s the crucial tool for them to set the boundaries, talk about their desires, and give permission to one another. 

Sadomasochism

Sadism is the pleasure of inflicting pain, while masochism is the pleasure of receiving pain from another person. In BDSM sex, a sadist is a person using pain to dominate their partner which gives them both pleasure. Rather than thinking of it as a violent act, BDSM is actually an intense sensation play that sometimes involves pinching. Hitting or any other consensual physical harm to a partner. 

How to Ace Dating Apps

Before we show you how to create a profile on Fester, let’s focus a bit on how to really stand out on all of these dating apps out there. First and most importantly, always be yourself.

Don’t try to sell an unrealistic image of yourself, whether it’s your personality, body or lifestyle. The good thing about dating sites like Fetster is that people connect more over shared interests and sexual desires rather than a well trained body, perfect face or money in the bank account.

Also, don’t reveal all of your cards at once. You don’t have to share everything about yourself, nor do you have to use all your tricks immediately. Leave some topics for other conversations or encounters. Revealing everything about yourself might also make you vulnerable if this person doesn’t contact you again. Instead, play it safe and slow.

Let’s not forget the privacy aspect. Before you start interacting with other people, you will need to fill out your profile with a few pieces of information. Always include information you feel comfortable with. Simply put, if you think that some things shouldn’t be shared with everyone, you should keep it for conversations. After all, you are the one making all the decisions. 

Creating Your Profile on Fetster

Similar to all the other dating sites, you will need to create your unique profile with a username or email and a password. If you’re worried about the membership fee of Fetster, you will be happy to hear that it’s completely free and they are not planning to introduce any type of pricing anytime soon.

Once you’re in, you will be able to look for other members immediately. These are the filters you can use:

  • gender,
  • age,
  • sexual orientation,
  • location,
  • kink,
  • interests,
  • etc.

When it comes to groups, you can make your own if you don’t wish to join already created ones. Your group can be built around the topic(s) of your choice and you can invite any member you want. 

Some of the great free features Fetster’s members can also enjoy are messaging, friending, favorites, unlimited mail, forums, confessions, gift sending and receiving, blogs, links. And so much more. Are you ready to explore your kinky side? 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.