censorship in healthcare

Censorship in Healthcare: Why Aren’t We Allowed to Talk About Sex?

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Censorship in Healthcare: Why Aren’t We Allowed to Talk About Sex?

 

You might wonder what censorship in healthcare has to do with my work as a certified sex therapist. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) Certified Sex Therapist and CE provider, a good amount of my work revolves around sex and related topics.

In the past few years, my colleagues, clients, and I started noticing something bizarre going on with my published sex-education content. Also, my emails and social media content were censored – I just didn’t know why. 

Can you imagine my surprise when it came to censorship? Especially as my objective is to help individuals and couples connect through restoring intimacy (both physical and emotional). And educate people on what sexuality involves and how it impacts our wellbeing, it is shocking.

So instead of having a platform to discuss the difference between a vulva and a vagina. Or why not to circumcise those assigned male at birth, I am encouraged to be silenced. 

Let’s Talk About Sex … Or Better Not?

As someone who is also a doctoral candidate in clinical sexology, most of my writing on my website, on social media channels, and in emails is about sex and physical intimacy. To be absolutely clear, these topics are discussed in a way that helps each individual understand themself better. And then the way they relate to other people.

So, who or what doesn’t want others to learn this valuable information about protected sex, ways to enjoy intimate moments with your partner. And similar things I teach about since the beginning of my career? The answer is more complex than I thought at first. 

Back in 2013, when I started talking about sexuality, it seemed there were no issues around these words and terms. In 2017, I had a book release event on Facebook and it went smoothly. A year later, however, my group practice changed and focused more on pleasure and identity-affirming care for marginalized LGBTQIA+ communities. I also changed my website domain to ‘Sexandmagic.com’ and established the trademark “the sex healer.”

That is when my colleagues were telling us that our emails are blocked at their clinic. And we were getting calls from confused clients who never got our reply to their email. It took us a while to figure out that our emails were getting blocked because of the word ‘sex’ as in the phrase ‘sex therapist.’

Social Media Undermining Sex Education 

Then, in 2020, Google My Business started taking down my content because I allegedly violated their rules by using ‘sex’ and ‘pleasure’ to describe my services as a sex therapist. The third situation occurred with Instagram. My professional page got shut down. Which was reported to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, a non-profit committed to creating a political and legal environment in the United States for consenting adults who engage in alternative sexual and relationship expressions. 

Throughout 2020 and 2021, I hosted various education webinars that I wasn’t able to promote on multiple social media and Google My Business sites. Keep in mind that this doesn’t only mean that I cannot openly talk about my work. It also means that people seeking this type of content cannot find it because of this odd censorship. Want to learn about what to expect when you have sex the first time? You can’t. Want to learn how to reconnect with your loving spouse in the bedroom? You can’t. Want to learn about different contraceptive methods? You can’t. 

In 2022, I noticed that I cannot promote most of my sex eucation content, including free events, through the Facebook page. When I tried bringing this up with these two social media platforms, I hit a wall. When talking about social media, TikTok is also not helping me access my account as it is linked to my Instagram, which is still blocked. As you might have guessed, LinkedIn doesn’t allow to advertise services or events that are specifically created for sexual health and wellness either. 

YouTube constantly puts restrictions on my account, although I have 20,000 subscribers. That means there are at least that many people who crave quality. Informative content on sexual education, yet they are unable to reach me – and I’m unable to reach them. 

Woodhull wants to do something about that, as that seems like it is anti-constitution. 

 

What Type of Society are We Building?

If the Internet is the first place we look for information on health, food recipes, and DIY home ideas, why cannot we educate ourselves on sex there as well? These platforms are seriously affecting the possibility of finding such content and ensuring that most of our romantic, sexual, and other intimate encounters are positive experiences. Educational topics, such as overcoming sexual trauma. Solutions for male erection and ejaculation issues, and transparent communication in relationships, are not something that should be blocked. Especially by those claiming to help us connect with others and share what is relevant to us. 

Just think about the people from marginalized and poor communities with no one to reach out to and learn more about sex, relationships, and love. If access to the Internet is something we all have, why not use it to build a stronger, more informative, and more caring society that doesn’t only benefit those in power? Undoubtedly, sex education should and must be online. 

For example, your child, who is still shy to communicate to you about sex, has the right to read basic information about it before talking to you. Your partner, who is concerned about the lack of sexual connection between you, has the right to search only on how to start this conversation without blaming anybody. You have the right to seek fun ideas to upgrade your masturbation game and learn more about your sexual pleasure. 

Conclusion

We are all born thanks to sex. Let’s demystify this field once and for all, and allow sex educators, sex healers, and sex therapists to teach us how to know ourselves better. Understand our partners more profoundly, and raise the next generations to be more educated than we were. If it’s an uncomfortable topic, remind yourself that not so long ago periods, sex before marriage, and postpartum depression were considered taboos. What changed our perspective on these and similar topics was talking about them and allowing ourselves to unlearn what doesn’t serve us anymore and create space for new learnings. 

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Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

‘How to Build a Sex Room’ Netflix Serie Reviewed By a Sex Therapist

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‘How to Build a Sex Room’ Netflix Serie Reviewed By a Sex Therapist

 

‘How to Build a Sex Room’ is one of the recent Netflix series. In which Melanie Rose, an interior designer, is building a sex room for couples who want to spice up their sex lives and reconnect with their partner intimately. Although an excellent and easy-to-watch concept, this reality show soon witnessed numerous negative reviews. Mostly around the lack of sex educators to discuss with the couples what they are interested in trying out and finding out the many dimensions of sex and games. 

We’ll dive into the show, respond to some of those online critics. And take a look at what could be done better in the format it was recorded.

What is ‘How to Build a Sex Room’? 

When an interior designer, Melanie Rose, steps in to assist 11 couples and a single woman to spice up their sex life with rooms packed with specialty furniture. And other decor tailored to satisfy dreams and fetishes, names it ‘How to Build a Sex Room’, and launches it on Netflix. You know it’s going to be a hot topic. 

We’re already deep in summer, and the temperature continues to rise. So watching sexy and steamy content on TV might be one of the best things to watch before going to bed. While traveling to your vacation spot. Or maybe at work while most of your colleagues have already set their out-of-office emails. 

Melanie Rose is an interior designer with over 15 years of experience and five years of experience designing sex rooms. So, what is a sex room? It is not your bedroom or any room you frequently use for sex. It is a space specifically built and designed for sexual activities. There are many variations of how a sex room can look. And it will mostly depend on the individual’s or couple’s preferences. It can be sensual and simple, or it can be a true sex dungeon with endless numbers of sex toys and tools. 

What’s the Fuss With the Show?

As much as all sex therapists and sex educators are enthusiastic each time we see a show that aims to educate wider audiences on sex, sexual pleasure, and physical intimacy, something was off from the start.

Just because we say we want to try something different with our partner doesn’t mean it has to be the opposite of what we are already practicing in the bedroom or, in this case, the sex room. A couple that feels most confident in vanilla sex can do a few tweaks. Introduce a new sex toy like a vibrator, and both feel sexually satisfied. Each couple is unique, and even those couples that enjoy BDSM will get turned on by some variations of it. While others will do nothing for them. 

Another point to make is that the couples were shown in a very shallow way due to the format. Can you really learn about marriage or couple’s life and common issues that occur in almost every relationship if the show presents 11 couples and one single person in eight episodes? The way it was recorded showed more emphasis on the construction and design side of the project instead of sensual and sexual. Making the viewers feel like they are watching just another series about home makeovers. 

The Good Side of This Show

As already said, it’s still a success to see on such a mainstream platform anything that teaches a wider audience that talking about. And working on improving your sexual pleasure is completely normal and shouldn’t be considered taboo. Sex education should be available to everyone who wants to learn about it. If you can learn how to tidy your home and live a more organized life. Why couldn’t you learn how to have better sex with your partner or have more frequent orgasms?

The responsibility of those creating such content is huge. However, it doesn’t mean that even a show like ‘How to Build a Sex Room’ with all its negative reviews is a step backward. It’s a step forward, and we should feel comfortable talking about it with our partners, friends, and family. That is where the true value of sex-educated content lies – in being a conversation starter. And motivating us to communicate about such an important matter in our lives. 

In a way, Melanie Rose and her team managed to add sexual pleasure as a topic in dining conversations, casual talks, and self-observation moments. It’s up to us what we will make of it. Maybe you will go to your partner and share your hidden sexual fantasy or give yourself the right to explore your body to learn what gives you pleasure. Maybe, you will motivate your friends to talk more about sexual experiences and desires. Or you will start researching more about sexuality. Whatever you decide to do, it will impact your sex life and help you enjoy sex more.

 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Celebrity Therapist: Helping Famous People to Have a Better Life

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Celebrity Therapist: Helping Famous People to Have a Better Life

 

You’ve probably seen something about famous people going to a celebrity therapist if you watch television. Read publications, or browse the internet. You may wonder what makes celebrity therapists so great and how they differ from a therapist you or your friends are seeing on a regular basis.

In this article, we bring you everything you ever wanted to know about therapy for celebrities. Find out the most common issues for famous people and how they learn new techniques to manage their personal and professional lives better.

What Is a Celebrity Therapist?

As a celebrity therapist in ‘Darcey and Stacey’ a reality show about the life of these twin sisters and other high-profile executives internationally, I think the best way to describe my role is as someone who understands the challenges and issues a famous person faces and helps them acquire practical techniques to become happier, healthier, and more fulfilled in their lives.

Because they are under the spotlight, celebrities will struggle with a range of issues. From their ego affecting negatively their decisions and relationships to feeling unworthy or without the right to complain about their issues. Undoubtedly, fame brings a set of situations that are untypical for people who are not under the public’s eye. For example, a celebrity will need to face their business failures in front of everyone and the media will exhaustively report about it. Their personal problems are also under the spotlight. A famous actress or singer who is going through her divorce will often not be able to do it privately and allow herself to feel sad and grieve.

What I Learnt From Working with Celebrities

Famous people are humans too, and that is something we all need to remind ourselves of every now and then. We shouldn’t feel amused reading about someone’s heartbreak, affair, poor business decision, etc. If you and I can make mistakes and have our internal struggles, so can celebrities. 

There are many things I learned from being a celebrity therapist that can be an eye opener to all of us. 

1. Humanizing Celebrities 

If someone is an excellent actor, do we really need to know about their love life? We should treat famous people by the way they do their job, not by the way they are in a sphere we’re not included in. They have every right to feel things we all feel on a daily basis. And, more importantly, be treated as humans in every situation. This often means talking to a therapist that provides them with a safe space where they can be who they are, and not who the world is expecting them to be. 

2. Compassion

In celebrity therapy, compassion is everything. As therapists, we are not part of the celebrity world and we probably haven’t experienced most of the situations troubling our patients. However, therapists don’t need to experience everything to be good at what they do. You don’t have to experience family betrayal or infidelity to be able to help your client. Your compassion and therapeutic skillset allow you to understand your client and think of ways that will help them heal from a certain situation.

Celebrity therapy is not about working with famous people. Yet it is about giving them the same amount of attention and care you would give to the next person. After all, clients can easily pick up if they are not heard or treated with the respect they deserve.

3. Building Trust & Self Esteem

Before anything, a celebrity therapist will need to build trust with their client. Just because their team or a colleague has highly recommended you don’t mean that you don’t have to establish a relationship with your client first. Another trap that I noticed many celebrity therapists fall into is expecting they already have trustworthy relationships with their famous clients just because they know a lot about them from the media, Facebook, and Instagram.

After the trust is established between the therapist and the client, it’s time to strip down all the expectations everyone has from the client, maybe even including you. Your client will probably need to work on their self-esteem to understand who they are and what they actually want, instead of thinking about everyone else. 

4. Creating Healthy Boundaries

Sometimes, you can even experience that your famous patient unintentionally doesn’t respect your time or space. For instance, they might call you late at night to ask for advice or come into your office although you haven’t scheduled a session with them. Setting boundaries is crucial in the healing process like therapy. Even our non-celebrity clients need to be reminded of this often. 

Because celebrities are surrounded by their team of professionals, they might start treating their therapists as one as well. However, this only means you need to help them understand that as much as they appreciate their job, they should do the same with yours. This can also help them have better relationships with other people they work with and have more empathy for everyone around them. 

5. Curiosity Is Not Listening

What differentiates the celebrity therapist from the one working with non-celebrity clients is that they need to eliminate completely their curiosity and focus only on listening. The time in therapy is when the client talks about what is important to them, and not you or anyone else. For instance, a recent business failure can trigger childhood traumas that the client wants to address in therapy. Healing is a process that is guided by you as a therapist. Yet you should never pressure someone into talking about something they are not ready to address. 

Celebrity therapists must be really good listeners because it might be difficult for a famous person to trust someone who is new in their life. That is why it takes patience to give the client exactly what they need from the therapy. The better you listen, the easier they will open up, and talk about the real reasons for seeing you. Make sure that they feel safe with you and it will turn into a valuable experience for both of you. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Text Therapy

Text Therapy: What Is It & How It Works

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Text Therapy: What Is It & How It Works

 

You use your smartphone for most things in your life, yet did you know that your phone can also serve you for text therapy? In recent years, especially during and after the pandemic, we’ve started using our phones as tools to reach out for help and communicate with therapists and mental health professionals about our issues. 

If you haven’t tried it yet, you probably want to know everything about text therapy. Can you get some value from reaching out to someone via text? How efficient is it to talk about things bothering you and receive advice in textual format? We bring you all information below. 

How does Text Therapy Work? 

If you’re interested in trying text therapy, you’ve probably stumbled upon an ad on social media or heard a recommendation of a text therapist from a close person. To start with the text therapy, you will need to answer a few questions helping the central service match you with a therapist that can offer the type of support you need. Sometimes, you will even be able to choose your therapist based on their description. 

Most text therapy services provide text messaging without limitations, while others also offer audio and video chat, yet expect to pay a bit more for this service. One of the most valuable benefits of such therapy is that clients can text their therapists anytime. Your therapist may not respond to you immediately, especially in late-night or early morning hours, however, they will respond to you within 24 hours. 

Clients can also ask for a live text session, which allows them to exchange texts with their chosen therapist in real-time. This can be quite handy when you want to bring up issues and feelings that are occurring at that moment. Another thing about text therapy is that it provides complete privacy, just like in-person therapy. You don’t have to worry about your identifying details being revealed or shared with a third party.

What Is the Cost of Text Therapy?

The cost of your text therapy will greatly depend on your chosen platform and the additional services or fees it includes. In general, you will pay less than you would for in-person therapy, however, prices can vary significantly based on the mentioned factors. 

Two of the most popular text therapy services, BetterHelp and Talkspace, start with plans for $40 to $65 a week, with Talkspace only offering plans per month. Also, make sure you check pricing well before engaging any further as some platforms will charge you a weekly rate, yet still bill monthly. As typically patients pay anywhere from $40 to $150 per in-person therapy session, this is a cheaper alternative. 

That said, you avoid transportation fees and you can text your therapist from any part of the world. When going to in-person therapy, you will need to visit your therapist’s office each time you have a session with them and calculate the time and money you need to get there. 

What are the Benefits of Text Therapy?

There are truly numerous benefits of starting text therapy. Many people will not go to a therapist because they live far from the therapist’s office. Others will be afraid of the intimate environment where they are sharing their emotions and behaviors with a person they don’t know very well. 

Text From Anywhere

With text therapy, you can text your therapist from your home, office, car, public transport, park, or any place on the Earth. As long as you can send the text, your therapist will receive it and respond as soon as possible. Unlike in-person therapy, you don’t have to react to your therapist’s question or opinion right away. You can take some time to think about it and write your answer when it’s most convenient for you. The flexible communication allows for making most of the therapy and truly reminiscing on the process. 

Enjoy the Distance

Another benefit of text therapy is maintaining the distance you are comfortable with. This is particularly beneficial for those who feel awkward or uncomfortable discussing their private matters with others, although they are licensed therapists. Being able to maintain their distance and not having in-person communication with therapists can help them share things they typically wouldn’t share with someone and benefit their healing process that way. 

Save Your Money

Also, money is often an important factor when deciding whether or not to start going to a therapist. Because four times a month can cost you up to $600, you might be more motivated to start text therapy and save your money that way. When compared to in-person therapy, you can save up to even $400, depending on the platform you choose. 

Solve Your Issues ASAP

Let’s say you had a minor stressful situation today and you want to get rid of the stress and the thoughts accompanying it. Typically, you would need to wait until your next session to discuss it with your therapist, yet text therapy allows you to do something about it immediately. You can text your therapist the details of what happened and feel a bit better because you already did something about it.

In Final Words

Tex therapy is an excellent way to incorporate therapy into your daily life. You don’t have to think about leaving your Wednesday afternoon free because you need to go to your therapist’s office. You can simply text them anytime and from anywhere and wait for their reply. Not to mention how much easier and liberating it is to text what you want to share with them, instead of feeling uncomfortable sharing some things. 

Don’t approach these two types of therapy by comparing them. Both in-person and text therapy are a great way to help you feel better in your life and be the person you want to be for yourself and others in your life. After all, therapy is not only reserved for people struggling with mental health conditions, yet for everyone who wants to heal from something that occurred to them or find the best tools to manage their life better. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Sex Therapy Exercises

Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home

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Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home

 

If you thought that sex therapy involves only talking, you’ll be happy to hear there’s also homework in a form of sex therapy exercises. You and your partner may try to improve the quality of your sexual life or solve a few issues in the bedroom. These exercises can provide much value to you as a couple and strengthen your relationship beyond sex. 

These exercises are typically assigned during sex therapy, in which a therapist assigns homework tailored to you as a couple. Let’s take a look at what are sex therapy exercises and give you the motivation you need to ace this. 

About Sex Therapy Exercises

It’s completely normal to want to improve the quality of your sex life, and it doesn’t necessarily imply you are unsatisfied in bed. Not to mention that to enjoy sex and connect better with your partner sexually requires both of you to do different exercises related to sex and intimacy. Not too bad, right?

If you’ve already done the talk with your partner, started the sex therapy, and you’re both curious to see how these exercises can bring more fun into your four walls – and maybe outside them, all that’s left to do is to roll your sleeves and get started with your marital homework. 

The true value of sex exercises for couples is that it teaches them what is fundamental for each partner to consider they had great sex, while also broadening horizons and trying out things you never knew you even like. 

Like it is with everything, practice makes perfect. With sex, there is so much more involved than chemistry. Individuals prefer different things and styles of sex, and often, they need different things to get excited. To enjoy sex means that both partners will need to be satisfied with their sexual activities, not just one. 

Why Couples Need Sex Therapy Exercices

There can be many reasons why a couple started with sex therapy. A loss of intimacy because of a certain event or trauma, lack of orgasm from one or both partners, and reduced libido are the most common reasons why someone will consider going to sex therapy, however, there can be numerous reasons for it.

When couples start working on their sex life and intimacy with a guidance of a therapist, they will notice improvements in communication, especially in the bedroom, deeper emotional connection,  and a stronger relationship in general. If you’re a bit nervous about these exercises, keep in mind that you’ll first establish the trust with the therapist and go through a bit of talking before getting this interesting homework.

That said, you’ll definitely need to practice these exercises with your partner and be dedicated to making things better in your sex life. These are the questions you can expect to hear from your sex therapist: 

  • What did you do this week that made your partner loved?
  • Also, What can you do to improve this during the following week?
  • What can you do to make your intimacy a priority?
  • Also, What did you notice lately that works well for you in sex?
  • What things would you like to see more in bed or from your partner to enjoy more sex?

These and similar questions can be a part of your sex therapy because they show your therapist what you both need, while also allowing both of you to express what you need in a safe environment. 

Types of Sex Therapy Exercises

As already explained, there are many different kinds of sex exercises that you and your partner can practice at home, yet there are three of them that are most commonly recommended to improve sexual connection and intimacy between partners. 

Hugging

The best way to improve both sex and intimacy is through hugging. Although it’s not an erotic exercise that requires couples to be naked, it has proven to be a very efficient exercise in both couple and sex therapy. A couple will hug each other until they both feel at ease and relax. You should hug your partner, and at the same time, they should hug you. The idea is to connect mutually instead of one being the caregiver and the other caretaker. 

Heads on Pillows

Not as known as hugging, heads on pillows is yet another great exercise for restoring intimacy between partners. Both partners will lie down with their heads on their pillows and face each other. The idea is to quiet the mind and heart, and simply look into the partner’s eyes. There can be a bit of touching, yet avoid erotic areas or anything else that might distract you from the exercise. 

Feeling when Touching

Just like the first two exercises, this one cannot lead to sex either. Partners should lay down and one should start touching the other. Restain from touching genitals or any erotic areas, and focus on what you feel while you are touching your partner. Once a person can touch their partner for about 10 minutes, they can switch roles. Talking is also not encouraged, as it takes you away from the exercises.

Ready, Set, Practice!

It might be unusual for you to see that most common sex exercises have nothing or little to do with sex. The reason for that is that to have great sex, partners should first feel the connection between them. You truly need to see and feel your partner in order to connect sexually and achieve orgasm. 

Also, don’t get discouraged. It takes time to feel comfortable with this type of exercise, so make sure you and your partners are taking it easy. Be curious about the process and keep your mind on the objective. These exercises are created to make you both enjoy each other even more, yet it takes time to fully get there. 

Until then, treat it as your sexy homework. After all, have you ever been assigned homework this cool? We doubt it, so make sure you are making the most of it. Communicate with your partner how you feel about these exercises to remind yourself of the reason why you are doing all of it.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Couples Therapy Internship: What To Expect

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Couples Therapy Internship: What To Expect

 

We tend to think that a couples therapy internship is something time limited. Although can be true, some couples therapy internships are extended beyond their one year contract. I know for me, this was the case and many of my other friends who had internships. 

Therefore, if you feel unhappy together and are considering breaking up with each other. Seeing a couples therapy intern could be a good decision for you.

Couples therapy internships are there to help couples solve issues. And remove obstacles in a relationship that typically prevents the couple from being intimate. Similarly, it also strengthens the connection between these two individuals by providing them with tools and techniques that help them understand each other. 

Regardless of whether your relationship is at its peak moments or you’re both struggling to find a reason to stay together. You can consider seeing a therapist who is completing a couples therapy internship. 

In the first scenario, it will help you maintain things just the way they are and prepare you how to deal with issues successfully when they appear to not harm your happiness. In the second scenario, the therapy will show you and your partner a new way of communicating that is not destructive. And brings you closer to your shared goal, whichever goal might be. 

Share Information About Your Relationship

A therapist will need to learn information about your relationship and you as individuals. Typically, the first session helps your therapist to get to know each of you on a personal level. Prepare to be asked a wide range of questions, from your childhood experiences and your family to how you met each other and the reasons for falling in love. 

While you both might be eager to jump into the discussion and share with the therapist the last argument you just had when leaving home, trust the process. Your therapist first needs the information about you as a couple to be able to understand the roots of the problems appearing in the relationship and find solutions that will work for you.

Don’t expect to go into details about your problems in your first session. Many people get discouraged after their first session because they haven’t talked in detail about the issues they are having with their partner. However, a therapist cannot advise on your relationship if they do not know you. The first sessions are about gathering information, whether it is a therapist or a therapy intern. 

Going to the Root of the Problems

There are many reasons why couples decide to go to couples therapy, with most of them involving having the same arguments over and over again, avoiding fighting and ignoring problems, and physical intimacy problems. 

Instead of worrying about what the therapist will say, you should think about all the issues you wish to address in the therapy. Also, don’t just prepare all arguments against your partner. Take a moment to see which of your actions are leading to heated discussions and which aspects of your personality are not that beneficial for yourself and your relationship.

Another thing that many couples do when going into therapy is having a strong opinion about the main problem of their relationship. For instance, you might feel that all the issues in the relationship arise from a lack of physical intimacy. And your therapist might discover that your relationship actually lacks trust and communication. 

While sharing your concerns in therapy, your therapist will be the one connecting the dots and seeking the root of your problem. They will also be the ones suggesting solutions and methods that will help you maintain a fulfilled, healthy relationship. 

Setting Goals and a Timeline

Once the couple is aware of the root of their relationship problem, they can start developing their goals for therapy. Usually, a therapist will assist you as a couple to determine these goals. After all, not all couples will have the same goals. Maybe you wish to fall in love again or enhance your communication. Maybe you wish to fight less because your children are always in the middle of it. Your goal will be tied to the solution of the main problem in your relationship. 

Of course, some couples will decide that the best goal for couples therapy is ending the relationship on good terms. During therapy, couples who are exhausted from fighting and really don’t see things changing in the near future might realize that there is nothing more to save in their relationship. Here, the therapy will serve them to learn how to let go of their relationship and all the problems healthily. This becomes incredibly valuable when stepping into a new relationship because the individuals from the relationship will not bring their old-relationship problems into a new one. 

Also, your couple therapy goals can change over the course of therapy. However, setting the goals is important because it provides couples with direction and it puts them on the same team as opposed to fighting each other all the time. Once the goals are determined, your therapist will help you develop a timeline. In other words, this takes into account how many months or years of therapy you will need to solve your main problems. This time can be also seen as a new, exciting period of a relationship.

Learning New Skills

You cannot solve the problem by applying the same method over and over again. If it didn’t work once, twice, or three times, you should probably seek a better solution. In couples therapy, couples are learning new skills that will benefit their relationship outside the sessions as well. 

The most common skills a couple will learn in therapy are: 

  • Communication skills,
  • Patience,
  • Forgiveness,
  • Trust and honesty,
  • Selflessness,
  • Stress management.

The majority of couples will have these skills, yet they forget about them at some point in the relationship. Therapy will remind you of how these skills can improve your relationship and bring you closer to your partner. Also, your couples therapy internship therapist will share methods to practice at home if you desire. After all, the most important work in therapy can be done at home with your partner. 

Your couples therapy internship therapist is providing you with guidance and valuable information, yet they are not able to repair a relationship on their own. That is why it is essential for you to do everything you can to rebuild the relationship and feel intimate with each other again. 

To see some of our fabulous couples therapy internship therapists, please grab a spot by emailing info@LCATLLC.com. They offer low rate cash sessions and a variety of options between telehealth and in person spots. 

Low Cost Therapy Available at Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT)

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Trauma Therapy Near Me

Trauma Therapy Near Me: How To Find The Best PTSD Therapist?

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Trauma Therapy Near Me: How To Find The Best PTSD Therapist?

 

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), you are probably thinking about searching for the ‘trauma therapy near me’ term on Google. Because dealing with any type of trauma is unpleasant and painful, it’s a good idea to look into therapists in your area to feel a bit more comfortable about seeking professional help. 

If the process of searching for a good PTSD therapist is frustrating for you, luckily, just searching for those near will reduce the number of results and offer you a list of numbers and emails where you could schedule the appointment. Other factors you will need to keep in mind are the therapy costs, insurance, treatment orientation, and the way you feel about the therapist and the work they do. 

PTSD Therapy

Post-traumatic stress disorder therapy will involve a range of treatments for PTSD that aim to relieve the symptoms and provide people with the tools that enhance the way they manage their symptoms. Along with the medications, your therapist may use different types of psychotherapy such as:

  • Cognitive processing therapy,
  • Eye movement desensitization,
  • Reprocessing therapy (EMDR),
  • Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT).

If you know or suspect you have PTSD, you should consider finding a mental health professional to decide which treatment type can be most effective for you. It’s important to keep in mind that if your first therapist doesn’t seem like the right fit, you can easily stop seeing them and find the one that will work better. 

PTSD Symptoms

Typically, the PTSD symptoms will appear within one month of the traumatic event, yet sometimes the symptoms appear after several years. PTSD symptoms cause numerous problems in social or professional situations, especially in relationships and marriages. They can also affect how you deal with your regular daily tasks. 

All PTSD symptoms are gathered into four categories: 

  • Intrusive memories,
  • Avoidance,
  • Negative changes in thinking and mood,
  • Changes in physical and emotional reactions. 

Intrusive Memories

Some of the most common symptoms of intrusive memories may include recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the event that occurred. Often, it also includes reliving the event through flashbacks and having disturbing dreams about it. 

Avoidance

The most common avoidance symptom is forcing yourself to not think or talk about the traumatic event. Another symptom that people with PTSD will share is avoiding places, people, or activities that will remind them of the event.

Negative Changes In Thinking And Mood

When it comes to symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood, negative thoughts about yourself and everyone around are what typically occurs first. It’s followed by the feeling of hopelessness about the future and memory problems, mostly regarding the traumatic event. 

People who are experiencing these symptoms might also have difficulty maintaining close relationships and even feel detached from their family and friends. Also, they might notice a lack of interest in activities they used to enjoy, which leads to struggling with experiencing positive emotions. 

Symptoms of Changes In Physical And Emotional Reactions 

These symptoms will be noticeable to people around the person with PTSD as well. For instance, they might become easily startled or frightened, or always be on guard for danger. They can also start experiencing self-destructive behavior, such as driving too fast or drinking too much. 

Often, they will have trouble sleeping and concentrating. They might even have angry outbursts or show aggressive behavior which is not typical for them. 

The Intensity of PTSD Symptoms

Over time, all above-mentioned PTSD symptoms can vary in intensity. In other words, more symptoms can appear when you’re stressed or when something is reminding you of the traumatic event you went through. For instance, the sound of car breaks might remind you of the car accident you had a year ago and trigger a few PTSD symptoms. Or you might hear the news about a sexual assault and become overwhelmed with memories of your own event. 

There will be days where you won’t experience symptoms at all, and there will be days where you’ll feel hopeless. That’s why it’s vital to seek help from a mental health professional who can help you guide in this journey, while also providing you with the tools you need to manage better these symptoms each time they appear. 

Examples of Traumatic Events

Unfortunately, exists a wide range of traumatic events that might lead to a post-traumatic stress disorder, however, the most common ones are:

  • An accident
  • Childhood physical abuse
  • Combat exposure
  • Physical assault
  • Sexual violence
  • Being threatened with a weapon

Besides the mentioned ones, other traumatic events such as natural disasters, fire, mugging, plane crash, kidnapping, torture, terrorist attack. Or any other life-threatening event can lead to PTSD. If you or your loved ones have experienced a traumatic event. It’s recommended to seek professional support immediately instead of waiting until the symptoms appear. 

Regardless of whether the person will have to struggle with PTSD after such a traumatic event or not, talking to a therapist will be beneficial for their recovery. The sooner they seek help, the easier it will be to learn how to cope with the consequences of it. 

In Conclusion

Post-traumatic stress disorder is something you should never ignore. It affects how you interact with your loved ones and other people in your life. How you perform at work or school, how you see your future, and how you feel about yourself. For someone who is experiencing PTSD symptoms, it will be quite challenging to manage them successfully on their own. 

Dealing with post-trauma consequences can be overwhelming and lead to completely isolating yourself from the rest of the world. And it doesn’t have to be that way. With adequate treatment, you will gradually see how your social and professional lives are improving. Also how you feel more positive about everything around you. Most importantly, knowing that you can count on someone who can provide the right assistance in each situation provides the support someone who has been through a lot actually needs.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Sexologist

Sexologist: What They Do & How They Help

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Sexologist: What They Do & How They Help

 

You might have heard the word ‘sexologist’ before and weren’t sure about what this job title entails. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. Sexology is a field in science that studies human sexuality and sexual behavior. And the people who are studying it are referred to as sexologists. 

One thing you’ll need to keep in mind is that there’s a difference between sexologists and sex therapists. A sex therapist will work with patients directly and help them solve their issues around their sexuality and sexual life whereas a sexologist can also be a sex researcher, sex educator, and public policy activities. In simpler words, a sexologist is a broader term and one of its branches is sex therapists. 

People often have a wrong idea about this profession. So we’ve decided to gather all vital formation about sexologists in this article.

Being a Sexologist

Not many universities offer sexology degrees. Individuals might decide to become sexologists with an educational background in psychology, sociology, biology, public health, and similar fields. Typically, a sexologist will have a master or doctoral degree, or any other type of advanced professional education. 

There are also many training and certification programs on sexology, yet are not mandatory when pursuing the sexologist career. So, a person with a master’s degree in one of the above-mentioned fields can start building your career as a sexologist. 

From working on research to working directly with the clients, it will be a person’s choice on which area of sexology they wish to focus on. Of course, one field doesn’t exclude the other, so they might be a sex researcher consulting people who are experiencing issues around their sexuality. On the other hand, if they’re just getting started, it would be better to choose one area and stick to it to make sure they learn and grow as much as possible. 

Career Paths of a Sexologist

There are numerous ways to be a sexologist. A person can be a researcher, teacher, organize workshops, provide advice on inter-disciplinary data. If they desire to work with clients as a sex therapist, they will work on improving someone’s life quality by addressing their issues around sex and providing them with tools to manage them successfully. Sex therapists help with problems such as mismatched libidos and lack of orgasms. 

With that being said, a sex therapist will need to have certain qualifications. Most of the time, it’s an advanced degree in psychology, therapy, or counseling, clinical experience, and specific training in sex therapy. Yet, the majority of the states don’t require a sex therapist to have a certification to practice. So checking qualifications before starting sex therapy is always recommended. 

 

Sex Therapy

As many patients are uncertain about what to expect when starting sex therapy, it’s always good to do proper research on both the therapist and the nature of therapy. Sex therapists don’t do any hands-on work. So if you’re uncomfortable with physical touch, there is no reason for ignoring the benefits of sex therapy. 

During sex therapy, patients are not required to do any sexual activity, take off their clothes or have physical contact with their chosen sex therapists. These sessions are just like regular therapy, so patients will only talk about their issues, not demonstrate them. If there is a need to provide an example, patients and therapists can use words or use images from books or the Internet.

Às it is with any therapy, nothing that makes you feel uncomfortable will be performed by a therapist. After all, such an approach doesn’t lead to good results. For instance, if you’re trying to have more orgasms during sex with your partner, the therapist will ask you about your progress and provide you with advice, yet they will not ask you to do any exercises in their office. 

Sex Therapy Benefits

If you’re experiencing issues about your sexuality or sex life, you should consider sex therapy. What makes it different from regular therapy is that it’s only focused on the field of sex and sexuality, instead of covering many other areas. Also, you will be talking to a person who is a sexologist. Meaning they will provide you with what you need to enhance that part of your life and identity.

Keep in mind that you can start with sex therapy by yourself or with your sex partner. As most of us never received an education with a sex-positive attitude. People will experience a range of issues when having sex with another person. That’s why sex therapists bring their patients back to the start of learning how to give and receive pleasure. 

When working with a sex therapist, it will be easier to stoke more eroticism into a relationship. Because a professional will help you and your partner to resolve differences you might have and find the best way to reach sexual pleasure together. Once these obstacles are removed, whether it’s for you individually or you as a couple. You will be able to connect sexually with yourself and others and enjoy sex more than ever before. 

In Conclusion

To enjoy sex, we’ll need to let go of all the limitations accumulated in our minds, and for that, we need professional help most of the time. It’s difficult to recognize all these limitations and issues built around our sexuality. So even if you’re determined to change how you feel about sex, you will encounter the same results. 

The more you work with your sex therapist, the better you will feel about sex and the intimacy in your relationship. Being able to enjoy these moments with your partner will strengthen your relationship and connect you like no other activity can. So, whether your interest in sex comes out of curiosity to understand how it all works or to improve your relationship. Having access to great sexologists or sex therapists will provide you with countless benefits in your life. 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Techniques For Your First Time

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Sex Techniques For Your First Time

 

So learning a few sex techniques for your first time before it occurs might help you to enjoy the moment and connect with your sexual partner. You will probably feel a bit of fear, and that’s completely okay. We all feel a certain amount of fear when faced with experiencing something unknown to us. Instead of focusing on fear, you will need to build your knowledge and confidence with valuable sex techniques.

Don’t worry, nobody expects you to be perfect. All you have to do is make sure you have all you need to feel good and comfortable before, during, and after intercourse. Many people without sexual experience will have too many thoughts running through their minds, so we’ve decided to calm your mind down and help you feel more confident about your first time with our best sex techniques. 

What Happens In My Body During Sex?

Before we unravel a list of techniques that will make your first time a pleasant experience, let’s look at what happens in one’s body when they are having sex so you can know what to expect. One thing that’s important to know is that nobody, not even your family or friends, will be able to tell you had sex unless you tell them. 

There are no visible signs that others can see that will make them know you had your first sexual experience. During sex, on the other hand, you will experience a lot of sensations, and many of them for the first time in your life. You might start breathing heavily, sweat a lot, or your skin could become flushed. That might happen to every individual, regardless of their gender, yet it’s more common for people with a vagina as the vulva become swollen during sex due to higher blood flow. Once the intercourse has finished, the body will go back to normal, similar it does when you are exercising.

Another thing that individuals with a vagina need to be aware of is the possibility of bleeding. That occurs because of the hymen stretching, yet it’s completely normal, and you shouldn’t get scared. For individuals with a penis, before the intercourse itself, they will feel an erection once they start feeling sexually excited. Once the sexual activity is completed, they might or might not orgasm and ejaculate.

Sex Techniques

Now that you know what to expect in your first sexual experience, let’s look at the sex techniques that will help you enjoy the sex and feel comfortable with your sex partner, regardless of your gender.

#1 Get To Know Your Partner

Getting to know your sexual partner before sex will increase the chances of feeling pleasure and orgasm at the end. Not to mention that having someone you know and trust helps in unknown situations like this one. Being able to talk and share your feelings and concerns will help you connect. This will also allow you both to feel less pressure of doing everything perfectly, and stopping the sexual activity if you need to. 

#2 Find a Cozy Place

You might have seen a lot of movie scenes where couples have sex in their car, yet this is not the right place for your first time. The reason for it is that it’s incredibly uncomfortable, so you will not be able to relax at all. Also, doing it in a car means you will probably be in a parking lot and someone can see you, which is not a memory you want for your first time. Instead, find a cozy place like your room, your partner’s room, or any other place that will give you the space and time you need to dedicate yourself to each other. 

#3 Don’t Skip Foreplay

Skipping foreplay is not something you’d like to do for your first sexual experience. Although you might be nervous and think it’s best to start sooner than later, foreplay smooths the transition into the sex and allows you and your sex partner to explore each other’s bodies and heat things up. Start taking your partner’s clothes off, kiss their lips and neck, touch them, put their hands on your body, etc. Don’t overthink it and just go with the flow. 

#4 Penetration Should Be Slow

Whether you’re using a penis or a sex toy during intercourse, if there’s penetration involved, it should be slow. After all, whether you’re a giver or a receiver, it will be a completely new sensation for you, and accelerating things might bring physical pain or discomfort. Instead, take time when the penetration is happening. Help yourself with saliva or a lubricant as it will make the penetration less uncomfortable and allow you and your partner to enjoy sex without anything bothering or limiting you. 

#5 Protect Yourself And Your Partner

Your first time will involve you and another person. Being aware of sexual health is incredibly important as it can affect your partner, not just yourself. You will need to be informed about sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and the possibility of pregnancy. To protect yourself from it, you will need to use protection and contraception. When talking about these two terms, keep in mind that a contraceptive pill or similar methods of contraception only protect you from unwanted pregnancy, and not from STIs. The only way to ensure you or your partner doesn’t get an STI will be with a condom.

In Conclusion

It’s quite important to prepare for your first sexual experience. This includes talking to your partner and becoming intimate before the intercourse, learning about what reactions our bodies have when we’re having sex, different sex styles, and positions, and most importantly, always being aware of protection. It might seem overwhelming to you at first, yet it will take some time until you feel completely comfortable. 

That’s why it’s important not to put too much pressure on yourself and talk openly to your sex partner about your thoughts and concerns. Don’t expect it to be like in movies as all these scenes are staged and played by professional actors. A real-life experience isn’t perfect and that is what makes it so valuable!

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

What to Expect In Sex Therapy as an Individual

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What to Expect In Sex Therapy as an Individual

 

Have you ever heard about Sex Therapy as an Individual?

We often wrongly assume that sex therapy is reserved for couples who wish to improve their sexual life; however, getting sex therapy as an individual has incredible benefits and will help to achieve a certain goal in their sexual lives. 

Regardless of what their goal might be, a person that wishes to resolve or improve a certain aspect of their romantic or sexual life will seek help in a form of sex therapy as an individual.

The first step will be to reach out to a sex therapist of their choice. Depending on the preferences, a person’s choice can be made based on the financial budget, insurance coverage, therapist’s location, recommendations, or personal connection. Whatever your reason for contacting a sex therapis. You have decided to start a journey of healing, exploring, and growing as an individual which leads to a stronger awareness of your personal needs and emotions. And also deeper relationships with other people in your life.

Below, you will find all the steps of sex therapy that you will have to go through to achieve the objective you have set for yourself. Without a doubt, it is a process that requires time, honesty, and patience, yet the final results will have immense value to you.

#1 Filling Out The Intake

Once you have found the therapist you would like to work with, you will need to fill out an intake, which is also considered the first session of your sex therapy. Sometimes, filling out your intake might take more than one session. However, because the insurance coverage covers only one session for the intake, most individuals will decide to do it in one session.

During the first session, you will be able to decide whether the therapeutic bond is beneficial for you or not. Pay attention to how you feel when talking to your therapist and how they listen. And respond to your questions or concerns. This will give you a pretty good idea of what you can expect if you continue working with this therapist. That said, if you feel a bit uncomfortable, that’s completely fine as you are sharing intimate details about yourself with someone you’re seeing for the very first time. 

In the intake, the therapist is seeking to get your sex history, origin details, and information on where you’ve lived and anything else that might affect your knowledge or perspective on sex, intimacy, and relationships. The intake is incredibly valuable for your therapist as they can get an idea of how to help you. And start working on a strategy that will help you achieve your goal.

#2 Setting a Clear Goal

Your goal will be related to the reason why you’ve decided to go into sex therapy. For instance, you’ve looking to start dating after a long relationship or going through a divorce and need help to feel good about your sexuality. Setting a clear goal will help your therapist understand where you want to go with your therapy

Your goal should be in your intake. That way, your therapist will know in which direction to take the sessions to make sure you’re both working towards the same goal. Also, your therapist will be the one to tell you what does it takes to obtain your objective. The most important is your willingness and openness to things you don’t know. 

When discussing your goal with the therapist, ask them questions about how to achieve it. Seek tactics that can get you closer to what you want. After all, the reason you’ve decided to talk to a sex therapist is that you wanted to learn valuable techniques that will help you in your life. After each session, ask them for homework. Your therapist might decide to share an article, a book, watch a movie, do a little experiment. Or something completely else. 

#3 Listening & Reflective Support

Besides providing you with information and useful tools, sex therapists are also great listeners and support systems. Once in therapy, you will be able to say whatever you’re thinking or feeling. This space is incredibly valuable for those individuals seeking reflective support. The more information you share with your therapist, the better. Don’t feel discouraged or ashamed to share your beliefs, fears, desires, or skills because most of us have limited knowledge about sexuality and sexual pleasure. 

We’ve learned everything we know from media, our parents or caretakers, our friends, schools. And other educational institutions, and often, that knowledge is not most accurate or beneficial for us. That’s why a big part of therapy is unlearning what we know and learning again how to get your needs met and what do they when they aren’t. 

#4 Learning Process

After you have shared all relevant information about your sexuality and perspective on sex. Your therapist will start providing you with information. Even if you haven’t asked for it, a therapist will start the learning process during sessions and outside of them. They will use various sources to teach you tools and ways that will get you closer to your goal. For instance, a client that feels uncomfortable when naked might be recommended to read a book on accepting and loving their body. 

Once the therapist has a clear idea of your objective and obstacles preventing you to achieve it. They will start with specific suggestions. That means that two clients with the same goal might be suggested different homework due to their different-sex history or childhood background. A person that is going through a divorce will also receive a different type of sex therapy than someone who is looking to start dating after years of being out of a relationship.

#5 Intensive Type of Therapy

Most of the time, the learning process mentioned above will be enough to get you to achieve the goal from the beginning of your sex therapy. However, in cases where the goals still haven’t been met, a therapist might suggest an intensive type of therapy. These therapy types might be eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), or dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).

Each of these intensive therapy types will get you to the core of what is preventing you from achieving your goal. By applying this type of therapy, your therapist will guide you to dive deeper into the areas affecting how you feel and think about your sexuality and sexual pleasure. Once you’ve gotten to the core of the issue, it will be a lot easier to understand what it takes for you to reach the set objective. And enjoy your sexuality without any obstacles around you.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Sex Therapy for Premature Ejaculation and Erection Issues

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

sex education

Sex Education You Never Got

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Sex Education You Never Got

 

Whether you’re in a relationship or solo, adolescent, or in your 20s or 30s, sex education is a never-ending process. Often, we’ll wrongly assume that just because someone has passed their adolescent year, they know everything there is about sex, dating, and relationship, yet this is not the case. 

This area is so wide that it would probably take us an entire lifetime to learn everything there is about sex. Dr. Sara and I did a presentation on this before the pandemic and I would love to share here! 

Learning about sex shouldn’t begin after your first sexual experience, yet as this topic was until recently considered taboo, things are slowly starting to change. Young people are educating themselves through conversations with their family members and friends, through schools, media, etc. By understanding sexual education doesn’t involve only sex, you will better manage situations you find yourself in, from dating to being in serious, long-term relationships. 

Dating as an Opportunity

Things are not just fast-forwarded to sex. To get to know each other better, people will typically start dating before they decide to move to a more physical phase that involves touching, kissing, and having sex. If dating is a stressful experience for you, consider applying an opportunistic or zen philosophy in dating. In other words, you will have to be willing and open to confront anything that’s causing any unpleasant emotions within yourself. 

Instead of allowing these emotions to take control over you while you’re trying to ignore them, take a look at them to understand them better. What makes you feel like this? Is it a certain situation or expectation that is causing discomfort in you? Have you had this feeling before? Start exploring it instead of ignoring it and you will soon notice how your attitude towards dating is changing. So, before jumping into exploring sex, make sure you feel good about dating new people. 

The Science Of Sex

How you feel about sex is one thing, yet knowing the technical details of sexual pleasure is crucial to enjoying sex and having orgasms. Understanding the difference between the internal and external clitoris, the labia majora and minora, uretha and vagina hole are just some of the terms you’ll need to learn to understand better the female body, and see what works for you and what doesn’t. 

There are many different paths to a female orgasm, which doesn’t necessarily include only sex organs. By touching and kissing a person’s nipples, they can experience a wave of sexual excitement which followed by, for instance, touching the G-Spot can lead to an incredible orgasm. As every person is different, their likes and dislikes in sex will differ as well.

Physiology Behind The Orgasm

If you’ve ever orgasmed before, you know that this feeling is undeniably good, however, to learn how to have frequent orgasms you’ll continue enjoying, it’s necessary to know at least some basics around the big O. Having an orgasm is feeling your vagina, uterus, anus, and sometimes even other body parts contracting rapidly from 3 to 15 times, squeezing for a little less that one second at a time. 

The female orgasm can also include ejaculation, the release of a liquid out of the urethra. As every sex experience is different for each person, orgasms might feel different as well. That’s why it’s vital to learn what feels good and what doesn’t for you. Understanding what excites you and sharing it with your sex partner to experience the four phases of orgasm: 

  1. Excitement: Initially being turned on.
  2. Plateau: Repetitive motion that feels pleasurable.
  3. Orgasm: The burst of pleasure and release.
  4. Resolution: The refractory period. 

Although these phases are accurate, they don’t need to occur every time. Also, for some women, sexual pleasure doesn’t always lead to orgasm. On the other hand, having an orgasm at the end of the sexual experience doesn’t imply that the sex was amazing. As said, it’s quite individual, so your learning about sex might be different from how your friend is learning about their body and sexual pleasure. 

Types of Sex

There are hundreds and hundreds of sex positions you can try out with your sex partner. However, if you’re looking for more general categories of sex, you can start learning about different types of sex. You can choose between clitoral, vaginal, cervical, and anal sex. 

With all four types of sex, a woman can experience orgasm. Depending on what you prefer, you can combine a few sex types in one experience or stick to the one that makes you feel completely excited. If you lack experience and would like to see how you like each of these types of sex, you can easily try it on your own. Use a sex toy like a vibrator or your fingers instead of a penis. For instance, with clitoral sex, you can insert your fingers or the toy into your vagina and move them in a “come hither” motion in the direction of your belly button. 

Taking Care Of Your Health

Taking care of your sexual health goes beyond just having protected sex. As much as using condoms protect you from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You will need to be careful which soap you use, underwear you wear, the food you eat, etc. Taking care of yourself is essential for a fulfilled and satisfied sexual life. 

If you’re keen on practicing anal sex, make sure you shorten your nails, take off any jewelry such as rings or bracelets, and use lubricant for easier penetration. Be responsible and discuss all these aspects with your sex partner as they might prefer something different from what you had in mind. Having an open conversation is the first step leading towards great sex as it helps partners exchange ideas and get to know each other better before engaging in any sexual activity.

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sexual Anxiety

How To Deal With Sexual Anxiety

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How To Deal With Sexual Anxiety

 

Whether you’re in a committed relationship or dating, sexual anxiety is something that will affect your romantic connections and more importantly, how you feel about your sexuality. Luckily, once recognized, you will be able to work on it and find ways to enjoy your sexual life despite it. With adequate therapy, many individuals can maintain healthy sexual relationships and enjoy the process of treating their sexual anxiety instead of feeling like it’s part of them that makes them feel hopeless.

So, before we tackle the ways to deal with it, let’s take a look at what sexual anxiety is and what causes it to understand better how to cope with it in your everyday life. 

Sexual Anxiety

Also known as sexual performance anxiety, sexual anxiety can be caused by a range of negative experiences from the past, stress, or any other factor. Sexual anxiety is expressed by feeling extreme anxiety which often then results in sexual avoidance. As it is with other types of anxiety, communication is crucial to detect it, treat it and have a functional sexual relationship. 

Besides helping your partner understand what you’re coping with, communication about your sexual anxiety will also help you find the cause of it and help you build a fulfilling romantic life. 

Coping with Sexual Anxiety

With having all of that in mind, how can you know if you or someone close to you is coping with sexual anxiety? As it is with other anxiety types, it might be challenging to detect if you’re dealing with sexual anxiety or something else is happening, including stressful life events. As such events can easily trigger emotions that also occur when someone is coping with sexual anxiety, it requires a bit more detail-oriented approach and long-term awareness. 

Start paying attention to moments when your mood changes. Is your sexual anxiety a result of your partner initiating any form of physical contact? Does it happen each time you’re anticipating a sexual activity to happen? If this is quite similar to what you’re experiencing, it might be that you’re having anxiety around sex. 

Reasons Behind Sexual Anxiety

There are numerous reasons why a person might struggle with sexual anxiety, and sometimes there is only one reason behind it, and sometimes there are more of them. Most of the time, a person will not be able to make the connection between the cause and sexual anxiety there are experiencing, so it’s highly recommended to reach out to a therapist that treats sexual anxiety.

These are some of the most common reasons for a person experiencing sexual anxiety:

  • Body image issues: If a person is uncomfortable with certain aspects of their body, it will be challenging to feel confident without clothes in front of their sexual partners.
  • Sexual dysfunction: Coping with erectile dysfunction or low libido can be hard for both partners in the relationship as finding solutions is not as easy as it seems.
  • Sexual abuse: If a person experienced sexual abuse in their life, it might be difficult for them to think about sex healthily.
  • Relationship issues: If a person is in a relationship where both parts fight or argue a lot, it will be hard to maintain intimacy when it comes to sex.
  • Fear of intimacy: If a person is struggling to trust others, it will be challenging to surrender and enjoy their sexual experiences. 
  • Compatibility: If a person is not attracted to their partner, it will lower significantly their desire to have sex and lead to anxiety when thinking about it. 

Understanding Triggers

Now that you understand potential reasons why someone might be dealing with sexual anxiety, it’s vital to identify triggers. If a person has experienced sexual trauma in the past, feeling safe and in control of the situation might be critically important. These past traumas can lead to triggers such as a stressful day at work. You will need to be really attentive when identifying what type of experience is being carried over into the intimacy between you and your partner. 

Once you identify these moments when you have a shift in your mood or thoughts, you should document it in some way. Being aware that, for instance, a meeting that didn’t go well changed how you feel about the entire day, might help you connect this experience to your sexual anxiety. 

Also, your sexual anxiety might come directly from the person you share these intimate moments with – your partner. If they are saying or doing something that is affecting how you feel about sex, you should communicate this to them. Yet, before doing that, make sure you’re starting the conversation without accusing them and instead try to inform them of what you would prefer instead. 

Coping With It The Right Way

After you’ve identified your triggers, you will need to dig even deeper. Understanding why these triggers exist in the first place and when did they start will help you cope with sexual anxiety the right way. Simply put, until you’re aware of your triggers, they are the ones who control you. Once you become aware of them and learn how to deal with them, you will take away their power. 

If you decide to start therapy to cope with sexual anxiety or wish to approach it differently, it is advised to inform your partner so they can provide you with the support you need. Also, sharing something this intimate with them might help you connect and set a quality foundation for your relationship. 

Be honest with them throughout the entire process. The more transparent you are about your feelings and thoughts, the easier it will be to go through them. Luckily, sexual anxiety is something you will be able to treat successfully and start building a healthy sexual relationship with your partner once you’ve completed the treatment process. 

Keep in mind that your partner can often provide good ideas for you to cope with sexual anxiety too, especially if you’re in a long, committed relationship. Someone who knows you well might see these triggers before you and offer you a different perspective. So, make sure you get the support you need to enjoy all the sexual experiences you wish to have in your life!

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Trauma Therapy

Trauma Therapy & How It Can Help You

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Trauma Therapy & How It Can Help You

 

Experiencing trauma can be excruciating, and seeking trauma therapy is often the only way to a complete recovery from it. On its own, a person might feel confused about how to process what they have been through or how to start healing from the trauma. They want to recover and feel that sense of safety again, yet don’t know how to get there.

Trauma quite often has deep impacts on us, which can be overwhelming, so seeking help in a form of therapy is completely normal and should be a choice of every person who has gone through something like this. 

There is a range of trauma treatment programs that can help individuals heal from their traumas and help them continue living their life as they used to before the trauma occurred. In this article, we’ll review what trauma therapy entails and how a trauma therapist helps someone heal. 

How Trauma Affects Us

There are numerous reasons that trauma affects us negatively and causes post-traumatic stress. Trauma will physically change our brains, so when we experience a traumatic event, our minds will change. Due to the hyperarousal, which happened during trauma, areas of our brains that worked in a particular way will change. 

Our amygdalas will get overly activated once the traumatic experience occurred. The phrase “fight, flight, or freeze” refers to having a physical and emotional response to your trauma trigger. That makes you remember the trauma and the amygdala becomes overactive. In these moments, you will be hypervigilant and alert to ensure you’re safe from any potential danger. 

Experiencing trauma is very painful, and those who are hurting from it should always seek help. As a result of trauma, a person can develop several health disorders, personality changes, and other symptoms. 

Trauma Therapy

If you’ve experienced trauma, it would be best to seek a trauma therapist as soon as possible. Talking about the pain and starting to process what happened is an essential step to recovery. Although it might seem scary, this will help you process those past events and start living a fulfilled life that is not dominated by your traumatic experience. 

Finding a therapist skilled at helping individuals who have been through trauma is the best way to deal with your trauma and everything else it brought. As many therapy types exist, a person might feel like there is no difference between them, however, the best kind of therapy for trauma is undeniably trauma therapy. 

Experiencing trauma can have an impact on your life for many years and even if an event happened ten or twenty years ago, it can still hurt you. Trauma is not a problem that can be resolved easily on your own, so many people decide to talk to a trauma therapist with experience in helping people overcome all the stress, pain, and dysfunction from having lived such trauma. 

Trauma Therapy Benefits

Learning that trauma therapy is beneficial for individuals who have experienced any type of traumatic experience will help them seek help sooner. To start with therapy, a person will need to be aware of their trauma, their triggers, and the way they react to those triggers. All these things will help your therapist understand how the trauma has affected you and where they’ll need to direct the therapy to help you recover from it. 

There are many objectives a person wishes to achieve with therapy, yet they all have something in common – healing. To heal, a person needs to be willing to share all information about their traumatic experience and post-traumatic consequences. The more effort you put into the therapy, the bigger the chances you will recover completely quicker. 

Those who have experienced trauma will never be able to eliminate that event. So they should learn how to live happily and fulfilled without trauma affecting them. It needs to become an event that happened in the past and is just a memory of something that happened to you. Instead of it affecting most choices you make in life. 

Trauma Therapy Goals

As an individual or with your therapist, it might be beneficial to set goals for your therapy. That said, don’t treat these goals as a matter of success or failure. Your goals are something that should guide and motivate you throughout your therapy and help you heal. Here are some of the most common goals people with trauma will set for their therapy sessions:

  • Successfully handling the reality of the traumatic experience that happened to me in the past,
  • Eliminating the symptoms of trauma,
  • Boosting my day-to-day operations,
  • Sharing with people my hereditary trauma experience, 
  • Learning how to regain my “personal power”,
  • Getting over the addictions caused by traumatic stress, etc. 

Trauma Therapy Types

Although there are many different therapy types, only three of them are beneficial when dealing with trauma: trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TFCBT), psychodynamic psychotherapy. And eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR).

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 

This type of therapy refers to a unique form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that helps individuals with trauma by dealing with the thoughts related to that experience. Typically, a person will have between 10 to 25 sessions. Followed by further trauma-focused therapy to continue recovering from all the secondary problems that might arise as trauma symptoms. 

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

This is a common type of therapy aiming to uncover all the conflicts and content that exist in the unconscious mind of a person that experienced a traumatic event. Psychodynamic psychotherapy emerged from methods of psychoanalysis and it monitors how interpersonal relationships can positively affect your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It’s mostly used when a person needs to become aware of the trauma to deal with it properly. 

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is one of the most recent types of psychotherapy. Intending to help individuals process their traumatic experiences in healthier ways. This type of psychotherapy assumes that the mind is constantly moving towards an individual’s mental health until there is a blockage in that flow. The trauma therapist will use external stimuli, such as eye movements or hand tapping, to direct the patient’s attention outwards.

Regardless of the treatment, trauma therapy can have incredible benefits and help individuals heal from their traumatic events. With proper care, you will soon be able to enjoy your life and make the most of it and your trauma will stay where it belongs – in the past.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

dirty talking with a partner you live with

Dirty Talking with a Partner You Live With

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Dirty Talking with a Partner You Live With

 

Who said it’s impossible to enjoy dirty talking with a partner you live with? We usually suggest it to our friends as a great method of seduction, so we tend to forget about it once we go deeper into the relationship. After all, if you have ever been in a long-term relationship, you’re probably aware that you need this kind of relationship advice once routine kicks in.

Usually, the first few months are filled with passion and curiosity about each other, so there’s no need to give additional attention to the sexual aspect of your relationship. However, once you start feeling like you and your partner are falling into a routine, it’s time to think about all the tricks that can recover that passion, and one of them is definitely dirty talking. 

So, let’s take a look at how you can start practicing dirty talking with your partner and how to become a professional in it.

What is Dirty Talk?

Dirty talk is the term created to describe passionate, sexual vocabulary used to create desire between two people either in person or with the help of technology. One of the most common ways dirty talking is used is with long-distance relationships as it’s almost the only way to maintain sexual intimacy when apart.

So, is it possible to talk dirty to your partner you live with and it seems like you haven’t got any more tricks up your sleeve to surprise them? Of course, it’s even simpler and hotter than you could imagine. 

Dirty Talking in Relationships and Marriages

When was the last time you talked dirty to your partner? Let’s be honest, it has probably been a while, and nobody can blame you. With all the responsibilities, work and stress, it’s very challenging to keep the flame burning between the two of you. Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way. 

You can start changing the dynamic between you and your partner by introducing dirty talk into your relationships, and there are several ways on how to do it. Depending on your schedule, the day of the week and your preferences, you can play with different types of dirty talking. 

Juicy Messages at Work

Yes, you might be busy, just as he can be busy, yet we all have 3-5 minutes to send a few dirty texts per day, right? This way, you will pause your busy schedule and add sexy games into your daily routine. If you’re not an expert at it, don’t worry. 

There are no mistakes in dirty talking as you should just speak your mind. For instance, maybe you’ll mention you regret you didn’t have enough time in the morning to have sex or you will describe what you wish to do to your partner once you come home – either way, you’ll talk dirty and your partner will love it!

Out-of-blue Sex Invitations

Dirty messages are best for beginners as they provide you with enough time to think of something sexy to share. Sudden sex invitations are for those who want to take their dirty talking to the next level. If your meeting has just been canceled and you know your partner is having a slow day at work as well, why not send a dirty message to them inviting them for a little bit of sex in your office, at home, or in the bathroom of your favorite restaurant?

Action at Home

As most people will be in the mood for sex when they are both at home, far away from their work responsibilities, why not talk dirty with your partner at home? There are plenty of ways you can seduce each other with words, from talking dirty when eating dinner to talking dirty in the shower. 

Try practicing it more outside the bedroom as it will be more interesting and you might even end up having sex in the kitchen or on the balcony. Another great way to talk dirty can be in front of the mirror expressing everything you’d like to do to each other. 

Vacation Word Play

Going on a vacation is the perfect opportunity to turn up the heat before officially unpacking your suitcase in a new location. Usually, we will be really excited when going on a vacation so why not use this excitement to prepare your partner for wild days ahead? 

Use your imagination to think about all the places where you’d like to have sex with them and create hot scenarios together. This will also help you have more sexual desire for one another as you’d already have an idea or two on how you both wish to spend your vacation time. 

Be Playful With Your Photos

If you reach out to your friends and seek sex advice, at least one of them will recommend sending sexy, provocative photos to your partner. And as much as this will produce the result you want, how about sending regular photos and talking dirty in the photo description? 

For instance, you might want to send your selfie reading a boring report and write to your partner what you wish to do with them instead. Or, you can send a photo of you two together on your last vacation where you had a lot of sex and share with him you’d like to escape the boring daily routine again and enjoy even more sex.

Dirty Talking = Happy Relationship

Dirty talking is actually so much more than sharing a bunch of sexy, provocative thoughts with your partner. It improves your sex drive, strengthens your relationship, enhances confidence, and keeps things pretty interesting. With dirty talking, you will be able to maintain the passion and learn more about each other. 

So, if this is your first time trying dirty talking, just relax and share the dirty thoughts you have. If you don’t have any, you can always talk about previous experiences you have both shared. Once you feel more relaxed, it will come to you naturally and you will enjoy all the little word games you can play and relish your sex life even more!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

What To Ask From An Escort

What To Ask From An Escort

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What To Ask From An Escort

 

You are maybe feeling lonely or looking for a date for this big event your company is throwing, and you’re curious about what to ask from an escort as it seems like the most viable option for you at the moment. If you’ve decided to go on a date with an escort, you will notice many dating services out there you can easily call and request a companion for the occasion you need. 

If you feel intimidated or overwhelmed with the entire experience, you probably want to learn how to get the service quality you need. The common advice is to think of it like any other date, yet always do a background check on your chosen escort agency and the laws about escorting in your area. 

Once you have done proper research and you’re all set to make the call, just follow these guidelines and make sure you’re confident and straightforward in the conversation. 

#1 Explain Your Request

Once you are sure that the escort agency is not a scam, you should call the escort and start the conversation with them. Explain to them why you need their services, so they can provide you also with the information you need. For instance, you might need them to be your date for a wedding or a business event in your company. Whichever the occasion is, you will need to be clear and not hide anything from the escort. 

You don’t have to lay out too much about the event or yourself. Just share the important details such as the date, city, and the nature of the event so the escort knows what is expected of them. The rest of it can be discussed later in the conversation. 

#2 Age

The most important question you will need to ask when hiring an escort is their age. The person needs to be of the right and legal age if you don’t wish to end up in more problems you can handle. When asking about the age, you can ask for some type of identification from them as well. 

The easiest way to do so is via a video call and asking them to show you their ID. Any weird answer or stalling should immediately be a red flag for you and you shouldn’t hire that person and their escorting services. 

#3 Rate

When hiring any professional, you always ask for the price before paying for it. The same is with the escort. Ask in advance for their rate as it will show you if this person’s services are within your budget or not. However, as much as you wish to avoid hiring a professional that is too expensive, avoid those who seem too cheap as well. They probably will not offer the best services and you might end up with a horrible experience. 

Find the quality you can pay for as you will leave an impression wherever you go with your chosen escort. It should be a pleasant experience from the first to the last moment of the date. 

#4 Photo

You should ask them for their photo if you agreed to hire them. Imagine a situation where you are picking them up in your car and you see dozens of beautiful women walking down the street and you have no idea which one is she. Once you both agreed, ask kindly for their photo and explain to them why you are asking for it. 

If they are not okay with sharing their photos due to a certain reason, just set up a way for you two to recognize each other. It might be that you will call them when you’re there and talk to them until you see them, or you might video call them and figure it out even more easily. 

#5 Date Details

Besides the information about the escort, you will need to determine the date details with them to make sure everything goes well. Be clear about the place and the time you will meet, where you will go, what is expected of the escort and when the date will end. If there is a certain dress code, make sure you share it with them on time. 

It might seem irrelevant to you, yet you might take an escort to a boat party and find out there that they are seasick every time they get on a boat. Also, if they need to talk to someone important to you, like your boss or a friend, make sure you inform them about it so they can leave a good impression. 

Staying Safe

All of these questions you will ask are equally important as much as how the date goes when you are with the escort. If you start suspecting that something is off, it’s because it probably is. End the date with them and give them money for the taxi if you’re uncertain whether driving them back is a good idea or not. Your safety should always be your priority and as much as you took all the precaution measures you could think of, it might not go well as planned. 

Also, before going to this event with an escort, always make sure that your family or friends know where you will be and when you are thinking of going back to your home. You don’t have to share with anybody that you’re going there with an escort, yet knowing where you are will also help you feel more comfortable if this is the first time you’re hiring an escort. 

In Final Words

You’ve probably heard of many scams in the escorting world, and you probably want to avoid these situations as much as possible. So, make sure you ask for all the information that will turn this into a positive experience in the beginning. 

Don’t be afraid to ask if something seems wrong. Ask for clarifications, repeat the question if you’re not sure it was answered, and do proper research of the agency. Keep in mind that you are the client here and you have every right to check the quality of service before paying for it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.