Sexy Time

Sexy Time

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Sexy Time

 

Odds are you still think about that one sexy time with that one person from time to time. Maybe it was a college hookup or could have been a serious relationship a long time ago. For whatever reason, they just knew how to get it done.

They could touch you, tease you, and feel you in all the right ways. Something about it was so intense, primal even, that it’s a bit like chasing the dragon trying to get sex to that level again.

What’s funny is those intense sexual experiences we find ourselves daydreaming about are often far from our current reality. When you’re in a stable, long-term relationship, even sex becomes routine. That’s not to say we won’t take it. All consensual sex is good sex, right? Well, there’s good sex, and then there’s GREAT sex.

Here are some easy ways you can get more of what you want from sexy time.

 

Leave Your Assumptions Out the Door

I talk to so many people who are frustrated with their sexual partners. They complain that they can’t find people who know what they’re doing in bed or how to please them. Sex is filled with a lot of “You’re close” and “not quite!”.

Starting from scratch can be hard to do with every partner, especially if you’re coming off a relationship or being with a partner with amazing sexual chemistry. What you shouldn’t do, though, is assume every person has the same experience.

Be verbal before, during, and after sex! Tell your partner what you want and how to do it. Use a guiding hand if you have to show them how it’s done. Their feelings aren’t going to be hurt. They’ll probably be ecstatic.

Imagine if every intimate partner you have lays out exactly how to give them mind-blowing orgasms. Wouldn’t you be stoked to try?

Don’t assume your partner knows how to go down on a woman or give a great blowjob. Tell them what works for you and ask what they like in return.

Sexy Time

 

Avoid Negative Triggers During Sex

Sex sometimes requires difficult discussions. When you’re committed to someone who has a different sex drive or has more or less experienced, it takes adjustment. The last thing you want to do is spring something on them unexpectedly right in the middle of sex.

If you want to try, for instance, anal sex and your partner is apprehensive, discuss experimenting before you give it a shot. See if there’s anything you can do to make things easier for them.

Triggering negative reactions in the middle of sex can tie a bad experience to lovemaking, something no one wants. Keep things positive while you’re in the groove and hold the feedback for another time.

 

Engage in Some Self Experimentation

Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. I talk to so many people who struggle to verbalize what they like and don’t like with sex. It’s almost as if their life depended on it, they wouldn’t be able to tell you what feels good.

Certainly, for many people being comfortable with your sexuality is a mixed basket full of past experiences, religious backgrounds, and upbringing. Your exposure to sex will also affect how you feel.

The best thing for this is some self-exploration. If you can’t point to or talk about where your “on” buttons are, then do some searching. Masturbation is a great stress reliever in general. It’ll also help take any pressure or anxiety you feel when your partner is trying to help get you off.

 

Own It

If you’re feeling like you’re in a sexual rut, you’ve got to take more charge of your sex life. Own what happens in those sheets! Move around, take charge, pull out some handcuffs. Do something that will mix things up and make them more exciting.

Don’t wait for your partner to take the lead every time you have sex. Let your dominant side free every once in a while. Tell them where to go and what to do. Break up the routine a bit. It doesn’t have to be every time, but a little effort is a great reminder that you’ve still go it and things don’t have to be lame.

Sexy Time

 

Everybody Loves a Bit of Dirty Talk

Yes, you heard me. Sounds so silly though, right? No, it doesn’t. Dirty talk only sounds ridiculous until you try it. Trust me, it might feel weird the first time you whisper “Give it to me harder…” into your partner’s ear as their thrusting on top of you, however, you’re going to love how stimulating it is when they’re asking, “You like that?” when they’re pulling your hair from behind.

Talking dirty takes some getting used to. Once the cat’s out of the bag, though, sexy time is never going to be the same. Sex becomes more playful, and about more than just the physical act. You get to add a bit more personality and rev the intensity up.

 

The Personal Pep Talk

All of us deal with some level of insecurity tied to sex. We all have a bit of flab here or a dimple there we wish we didn’t have. Maybe it’s been a while since we’ve had sex and we feel like we’re out of practice.

Understand that everyone carries a bit of baggage into the bedroom. The people that enjoy sex most are usually those who can toss the baggage aside for half an hour or so and experience some pure pleasure.

Try giving yourself a sex pep talk before things heat up. Sneak into the bathroom if you have to and look yourself in the mirror. Relax your shoulders, breathe a bit, and get over yourself. Laugh at how nervous you are and tell yourself it’s just sex. It’s how adults have fun. And get out there and have some fun!

Sex is too great a gift to be boring or mundane. Juice things up, have fun, and get a little kinky. You’ll never regret it and, trust us, neither will your partner.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Sexy Time for Singles

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Sexy Time for Singles

 

So you want to have more sexy time as a single?

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of Sexy Time for Singles and getting through this time period.

In this video, I’ll teach you how to make the best of Sexy Time for Singles, how to love yourself, and how to have fun through this time.

In no time, you’ll take my advice to use for your own Sexy Time for Singles.

My tips for Sexy Time for Singles will surely enlighten you on how to create a more adventurous and pleasure-focused sex life for you and your romantic partner(s)!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to have celebrate Sexy Time for Singles!

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

Say hi on social:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thesexhealer

Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer

ClickToTweet: https://ctt.ac/Ud3aa

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

couple sex

Essential Rules for Couples Sex – 10 Things You’re Allowed to Say During Sex!

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Essential Rules for Couples Sex – 10 Things You’re Allowed to Say During Sex!

 

Couples don’t start sex therapy because everything’s great. There’s usually some issue where they’re at an impasse. It’s something that, for whatever reason, they just can’t work their way through.

If you’re having intimacy issues in a committed relationship, you’ve probably been through the wringer a time or two. Whether it’s imbalances in sex drive, different levels of comfort with sexual exploration, or some other underlying issue, disagreements over sex are tough!

There’s so much tied up in the way we make love. Knowingly or unwittingly, you’re bringing your background, your trauma, and anything else that’s molded your sexuality into the bedroom with your partner.

We have to remember that sex is fun and it’s also complicated. It’s a way you can fill your own needs and the needs of your partner. When sex is great, it’s extremely fulfilling. When it’s not, it can be scarring.

Sometimes we lose sight of our boundaries in the pursuit of pleasing our partners. Each of us has to do what it takes to make sure sex stays fun, engaging, and positive. Here are some things you need to remember that you’re allowed to say and feel.

Couple sex

  1. Can We Slow Down?

There’s hot sex and there’s slow sex. Sex can be kinky, and it can also be romantic. Sometimes it’s fast and sometimes it’s slow. You always have the right to tell your partner to slow down. That’s critical when you’re trying something new like BDSM or roleplaying. Go at your own pace! It’s ok if you don’t want to go from 0-100 on the first try. Find a speed you feel good with.

 

  1. I Like That

I meet with so many people that have a hard time explaining what they like. If you ask them, they’re great at saying, “Well, I know I don’t like it when he touches me here or when she does that.” One of the best things you can do for your sexual enjoyment is taking control of what turns you on. If necessary, spend some alone time masturbating so you can get to know your body better. Once you know, make sure you clue your partner in as well!

 

  1. I Don’t Like That and I Would Rather ____

There’s a compromise in sex, and both you and your partner should work together to find a happy medium where you’re both getting the sex and sense of adventure you crave while also keeping each other safe. Verbalize with your partner any time you feel uncomfortable with a sex act or situation. You’re an even part of what’s happening!

couple sex

  1. I Feel Nervous

Many of us hold anxious feelings inside because we’re afraid it might spook our partner or make it into a big deal. Your partner will probably be happy if you reveal you’re nervous. A good partner wants sex to be amazing for both of you, not just them. If they know you’re nervous they can be more attentive to how you’re feeling and do more to make sex a positive experience.

It will also help with pacing. When you start a sexual relationship with someone, it’s all about progression. Hopefully, the way you have sex in later months and years will be much different than the first time. You’ll be more comfortable about experimenting and pushing the boundaries of your sexuality. For that to happen you need a solid foundation on which you both feel comfortable as you move forward.

 

  1. I Feel Complete. I Would Like to Be Done

Ego comes to play when you have sex. Some people are driven by self-pleasure and others crave the pleasure of others. If you’re with a partner that’s a giver or a pleaser, you need to be firm about when you’ve had enough. That can happen with positive feedback you give your partner, telling them how great they are at oral sex or how amazing your orgasm was.

It can also mean giving your partner clear signals that you’re through. As always, it’s vital you feel safe when you have sex. You’re not there solely for the enjoyment of your partner. It’s only part of the equation.

 

  1. I am Thirsty/Hungry, Can We Take a Break?

Have you ever been with someone who loves marathon sex sessions? You’re French kissing and making love for hours. You may have read about tantric sex and how delaying orgasms can accentuate eventual pleasure.

Still, everyone has a limit. Make sure you don’t cross yours. Don’t let your partner make you feel guilty about needing a break during sex. A break can often increase tension and result in better orgasms!

 

  1. I Would Like to Use More Lube

For whatever reason, many of you may feel embarrassed about asking for more lube. 

For me personally, I don’t recommend any sex without it!

The stigma around lube is something most people deal with at some point. 

Your partner may become insecure and take your asking for lube as an affront. 

“What, I don’t turn you on enough to keep you lubricated?” is something I commonly hear.

First of all, those kinds of partners need to do a bit more learning about body fluids. 

Secondly, please do not let embarrassment or anxiety about someone’s actions keep you from staying healthy and comfortable during sex. Lube makes it way more pleasurable for the sensitive skin of the body!

 

  1. This is Fun!

couple sex

That’s right, give yourself the right to have fun! Repeat after me, “Sex is supposed to be fun!” 

Do whatever it takes to remove feelings of obligation, shame, abuse, or any other negative motivator.

Tell yourself that sex is fun. Reinforce the idea of what it should be. Don’t forget to tell your partner, too. They need to hear it sometimes as well.

 

  1. Is This Meeting Your Needs?

Resist the urge to become so self-involved in your sexual growth that you leave your partner behind. Check-in on them regularly. Solicit feedback so you know what they’re feeling. Ask them if they’d like to try something new and follow up afterward to talk about how it went. You’ll be happier when your partner is digging sex as much as you are.

 

  1. How Can We Find the Win-Win for Our Time Together?

Don’t forget, you’re in this together. Your sex can only climb as high as your partner is going to let it. Lift each other. Push each other up with positive reinforcement and transparency. When you strip away all the distractions that get caught up in sex, you’ll find a deeper connection. Sex will feel incredible and you’ll get extra comfort out of getting there with someone you love.

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

shameless sex

Shameless Sex

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Shameless Sex

 

There’s no doubt about it, shameless sex is complex. 

Sex can range from a random fling with someone you met online to intimacy that creates the deepest connection possible.. 

No matter what kind of sex you’re having, there’s often a lot of emotion involved. Even the “casual sex” you think you’re having has something deeper at work.

Whether it’s a want for connection, a desire to outwardly express love, for kicks (or even revenge), sex is about more than just the act of genitals. 

We’re driven by a need to fill a part of us emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically through the “feel-good hormones” that get pumped into our body after lustful, intimate, or sexual connection. 

After sex sometimes feels complicated. 

Have you ever sat and thought about how you’re feeling after sex? 

Unfortunately, a lot of people, for several reasons, feel shame during and after sex. Shame can be a debilitating condition that hampers your ability to enjoy sex and experience everything it can give you.

 

How Sex Education Impacts Our Attitudes About Intimacy

It’s normal for all of us to have grown up in a more conservative environment than the one in which we live now. People’s ideas about morality and sex become more open as they expose themselves to new ideas. It takes time to overcome and discard the narrow thinking of the past.

You may have grown up in a conservative religious home where sex was taboo and not a conversation to be discussed. Abstinence may have been the only option, so you learned to view sex as forbidden. 

The people in your immediate circle – your parents, friends, mentors, and teachers – are more likely to have shared similar beliefs, so there wasn’t much in the way of information to be had.

Without proper preparation, you may not have been ready when you started to encounter sex. Sexual thoughts and acts may have been something you kept in secret. 

Many religious people grow up having to hide even masturbation, something we know now is normal and almost completely universal.

When we associate sex with something bad or shameful, it warps our ability to connect and on a much more basic level enjoy sex! 

It can take years of therapy and so many ups and downs to overcome the feelings of guilt and shame we carried for years.

 

The Difference Between Shame and Guilt

We need to make a distinction here that shame does not equal guilt. They often get bunched together, but they’re very different.

shameless sex

Guilt can be a positive emotion because it helps us adapt and correct harmful or detrimental behavior. It can drive us to become better and push us away from negativity. 

Shame, on the other hand, isn’t a helpful emotion. 

With shame, we veer into the territory of letting our mistakes or something bad that’s happened to us define who we are. Instead of recognizing something we did was bad, we become bad.

Shame can be debilitating. It can trigger anxiety that affects the way we think and interact with those around us. If you’ve struggled with shame in the past, there’s a good chance you’ve struggled with shame in the bed as well.

 

The Baggage We All Carry

The moment we realize that every person we have sex, and every time we have sex, we carry with us certain attitudes and thoughts about who we are and what we’re doing. Baggage can range from something horrible like childhood or sexual trauma to other issues like poor body image.

So often, we let baggage define us. It’s who we feel we are deep inside despite whatever image we project to a one-night stand or our committed partners. Overcoming baggage and identifying shame is so important to enjoying sex. Whether you’re trying to simply have fun and get off, or you long for meaningful eye contact as you make passionate love to someone you love, shedding the shame can give you the permission you need to let loose and enjoy sex.

 

Shameless Sex Through Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a gigantic step we can all take to drop our baggage approach sex more positively. After all, isn’t it time you cut yourself a break?

We tend to take things so seriously, even sex. Have you ever been in bed and listened to some of the negative thoughts that seem to race through your head? “Is he disappointed in my body?” “I’m worried I won’t be able to orgasm.” “Why am I so tense?” When we’re having what should be an amazing experience, we’re busy shooting ourselves down.

Self-compassion, on a very basic level, means cutting yourself a break! Instead of letting the way you feel define you as a person, you put them in a box labeled just what they are, “something you experienced once”. It’s a practice during which we focus on forgiving ourselves for whatever we did or happened to us.

 

Rejecting Shame and Embracing Shameless Sex

If you have trouble relaxing during sex or feel shame about your body, then reading this article isn’t going to solve your problem. You know by now that shame isn’t something you abandon. It’s usually buried deep and digging it up takes work.

Working with a licensed therapist can help you recognize shame and other detrimental emotions that prevent you from enjoying sex and other aspects of your life.

Don’t worry, you’re here because you know sex should be fun and something enjoyable.

Shameless sex is something a lot of us aspire to and are working earnestly towards. Stop thinking that something is wrong with you and that one magic day all of your problems and shame around sexual issues will disappear.

Experiencing shameless sex starts with the desire to get better.

Shameless sex for people who have wrestled with shame in the past is something we’re constantly working on. We learn how to forgive ourselves for being human and maybe even laugh at ourselves once in a while. It’s all part of the process of approaching sex is a more realistic, positive way.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

50 shades

Sex Therapist Brings 50 Shades to Your Bedroom

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Sex Therapist Brings 50 Shades to Your Bedroom

 

So you have read the 50 Shades books, and have you had anyone bring Christian Grey to your bedroom? 

Well, I can. Almost! 

  • Date night because Valentine’s Day isn’t over after February 14! Treat 1 day every week like it’s Valentine’s Day for your sweetie. Why? Because giving gifts – whether it be yourself or a present – is sexy! Go mark it ok your calendar now. Pick a sexy day for you and your partner every week! I personally like Fridays. 

  • Teach him the ropes – yes, literally ropes. You’ll love me for this… learn to tie a square knot. It’s easy and it will take you to the next level. Check my YouTube page. 

  • Blindfolds – utilize an old shirt, the free blindfolds they give on airplanes, or a scarf and ask your partner to blindfold you before having sex. You will be amazed at how different your thoughts are when you can’t see! Trust me… try it.

  • Use the power of suggestion – each day, use a word such as “pleasure” or “indulge” in your conversations via text or phone. Then when you see him in person, say the word “pleasure” or “indulge” while grabbing his arm or grazing his side. 

  • Sexy stories – Suggest that you write an erotic story together. Once your partner agrees, you start by writing the first paragraph. 

  • Make it a paragraph from a 50 Shades scene! Your partner writes a paragraph the next day. 

  • This way, you two are learning each other’s specific giving and receiving desires. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

free couples therapy tips

What are the 5 love languages Sexual Satisfaction!? 

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What are the 5 love languages Sexual Satisfaction!? 

 

The 5 Love Languages are part of the key for developing strategies you need to guarantee your Sexual Satisfaction!

So, today, we will answer how to use your five love languages quiz answers for sexual satisfaction. 

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining us in this topic of the five love languages! 

In this video, I’ll be answering: what are the five love languages and how to use the 5 love languages to have your sex and love life last. Moreover, I will answer your questions about the love languages for sexual satisfaction.

 

We hope you will take some of this advice to use for your own sexual fun with the love languages! 

My tips will hopefully break through months or years of stuckness in strategies to get sexual connection with the use of the 5 love languages quiz. 

Cannot wait for you to learn how to use the 5 Love Languages Summary to get the sex you want 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

 

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from the 5 love languages, feel free to share it. 

Interested in starting your journey? Start your journey.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Perfect Sex Getaway

Secrets to Your Perfect Sex Getaway

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Secrets to Your Perfect Sex Getaway

 

Long-time couples know the power of a sex getaway all too well. You’re not worried about the headboard slamming against the wall waking the kids up. 

It’s a chance to let loose and moan a little louder. Sex getaways are also the best way to shake free of the “Wednesday night sex routine” rut we all run into from time to time.

The sex getaway is also the perfect way to level up with someone you’ve just started dating. If you feel like you want to try something new or mess around with some ideas in the sack, then the getaway is the best way to let your partner know.

Don’t take things for granted and think that your partner will know what’s going on just because you booked a nice hotel room for the weekend. You’ve got to do more work to make sure things go off smoothly.

Take some time and plan the sex getaway. Here are a few tips you can try to have some of the best sex of your life.

 

Your Sexual Itinerary

Planning a sex getaway with your partner is a big opportunity because it gives you both the space to explore. You’re taken out of the day to day environment where you’re stressed about work, kids’ activities, or the finances.

Don’t leave things up to chance, though. Put some thought into what you want to accomplish and experience while the two of you are alone. You can make it like a mini sexual workshop where you can try new things and get to know each other more deeply.

Set up a playbook that lists the days’ activities. For example, you can start by arranging to meet at a nice restaurant separately and have fun with a bit of roleplaying. You and your partner can list out new products like lubes, vibrators, or handcuffs that you want to try out. Work in some sensual activities like massaging each other when you’re not having sex.

 

Let the Beat Build

On your sex getaway or your first one at least, start slowly to build a foundation. If you’ve been married for years and have never had anal sex, it will catch your partner off guard if you walk into the hotel room and announce your intentions to attack their behind.

Instead, start with the basic positions and sexual interplay you’re both used to. The first time you have sex will already be more fun and interesting because you’re in a new setting. Make sure you compliment your partner and encourage them to move here, a kiss there, and get comfortable expressing themselves. That will help rev things up for later on in the trip.

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Push the Boundaries

Look, everyone has sexual fantasies. It’s all about how comfortable we are expressing them. When we’re in the throes of our busy lives, it’s easy to just blow off our deep thoughts about sex because we think we have more important things to worry about. 

After all, the sex we’re having already is pretty great anyway, right?

A sex getaway gives you the chance to level up and push the boundaries of you and your partner’s sexual relationship. Sex is one of the most fulfilling pieces of any bond between people. The closer you become in your intimacy, it will play out in other aspects of your relationship and life!

Use the getaway to try out new positions, power dynamics, and whatever else is your fancy. The getaway creates a safe space where you can try new things and see if they work for you. If not, then hey, they can be left behind in the hotel room after you leave.

 

Perfect Sex GetawayUse Your Imagination to Create Scenarios

Everyone loves a weekend at the Four Seasons and boozy brunch with their lover. If you book the upscale sex getaway, you’re going to score some major points for sure. However, it doesn’t have to be the same thing all the time. The next thing you know, you’ll be in the sex getaway rut just like your sex routine at home!

Use the sex getaway to craft specific scenarios that can play out and let your sexual imagination fly. Try whatever has the best chance to shake you from the tried and true positions and interplay with your partner. If you’re in the city, book a weekend ranch getaway where you can pretend to be ranch hands. Go out of town further and role play that you’re having an illicit affair.

Each scenario will be driven by you and your partner’s sexual fantasies. Remember, some people dream about getting bent over a rickety bed in a seedy motel along the freeway. Rose petals in the jacuzzi tub and Moet are great yet not for everyone all the time.

 

Pick Up the Pace A Bit – No Excuses!

Make sure a sex getaway is just that. Have all the trips to Miami on the weekend you can manage. We’re not trying to tell you that you can’t have normal vacations. This shouldn’t be one of them, though.

And don’t let how long you’ve been married or your age slow you down. “But we’re good with sex once a week” you might say. That’s fine, and do your best to let your sex getaway be mainly about sex! Yes – I said sex! 

Whatever your normal frequency is, try to pump things up a bit on your getaway to get the romantic juices flowing and give yourselves a boost going forward.

When you’re not knocking boots, fill your time with touch and intimate communication. Learn more about yourself and your partner’s sexual desires so you can have a more fulfilled intimate relationship when it’s time to go home.

Remember, small details will make a huge difference. Make sure you have a sex playlist on your phone to plug in when things start steaming up. Share the itinerary with your partner so they know what’s in store, and let them help plan the trip if that’s what they’re into. The sex getaway can be your gateway into incredible sex more often.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

good in bed

Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

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Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

 

There’s no one “magic secret” on how to be good in bed – there are many!

The best lovers are made, not created. 

Sex therapists get asked all the time how their clients can be better in bed. That’s like walking into a behavioral therapist and demanding, “Fix what’s wrong with me!” It doesn’t work like that.

All of us want to be better in bed. Hopefully, all of us do. 

Wanting to feel better, please your partner, last longer, experiment, have fun, and read the intimate mood better is a great desire. 

We can only hope that we come in contact with people like that in our lives. 

But getting good in bed, or having sex skills, if you will, takes work.

And that’s good news! Sex, like anything worth doing, is worth doing well. 

To master something as intricate as sex, with its innuendos, different turn-ons, hormones, and moods can be a lifelong pursuit. Also, everyone’s different. 

Each of us has different emotional and physical desires; we are all on a sexual spectrum. What you like during sex can be different from someone else’s. 

What’s crazier, is that what you like during sex with one person can completely change from day to day!

 

Touch Here Kiss There

good in bed

I know we just got done telling you there aren’t any black and white answers to getting better in bed. Let’s just caveat this a bit. In general, if you rub a penis long gently, it will feel good. Apply a tongue to a clitoris, and yes, people will usually say it gives them a pleasant feeling.

To be good in bed, it’s sort of expected that you do some homework and generally, you understand the sexual anatomy and pleasure zones of the body you’re trying to please. 

There are plenty of how-to guides, some of them on our site, on how to perform good oral sex, the anatomy of sexual organs, and other basics.

Don’t let basic fool you! Just because you know what a blowjob looks like and have done it once, doesn’t mean you’re a master. Practice makes perfect in sex as in everything else in life. Jump in and give things a try.

Whether with one partner, many partners, or yourself, become as familiar as you can with bodies and what you can do to make them feel good.

 

Don’t Be Scared to Act a Fool

Unless you’re completely uncomfortable with something, recognize that the only way you’re going to get good is to realize you’re not right now. 

If you’ve never had anal sex and your partner is begging for it, don’t let your inexperience deter you.

Everyone’s made a fool of themselves during sex. Bodies make noises, they look silly sometimes, we try moves but don’t quite pull them off. 

No, you may not want to go for that one crazy move you say online on the first date, but maybe by the third, you can give it a shot!

 

Start Slow Build from There

If we’re honest, if we’re REALLY honest with ourselves, we all know there’s some kink inside of each of us. We are all a bit freaky. Some of us have fetishes we’d never tell our closest platonic friends. 

Sex is where we get to pull the curtain back a bit on our sexual desires. It’s where we and our partners (hopefully!) get to truly express ourselves.

Psychosexual therapy

Great sex always involves a measure of playful kink. Whether you’re into dirty talking, role-playing, or light BDSM, we all have that thing that can turn good sex into great sex. 

You probably still think about that one time with that one person where they did that thing and it sent your eyes rolling in the back of your head. 

Sometimes though, this person can do the same thing on a different day, and you aren’t feeling it!

Finding fantastic sex and getting better in bed can certainly be helped by encouraging open expression in the bedroom. Not only do you need to feel comfortable enough to initiate a sixty-nine, but you have to be the kind of person that makes your partner comfortable as well. The best way to go about that is to start small and build from there.

A lot of times, when sex happens, it’s an act of feeling each other out. Most of that’s literal, but there’s a good deal of emotional feeling out as well. They want to know if you’re the kind of person they can be themselves around and vice versa. It may not be the best idea to ask your partner to slip on that police officer outfit the first time they’re in your bedroom. It can be a shock.

What you need to do, though, is start small and create a comfort zone. “You’re a bad girl!” may not be the best opener if you’re into dirty talk. Instead, start small.

Something like “You’re so hot!” is a bit more watered down. If your partner responds with, “I love it when you lick me there”, then you’re in business! You can level up until you and your partner feel like you can let your kink flag fly. That’s when the real fun begins.

 

Great Sex is Often About Compatibility

You can be with partners that tell you that you’re amazing in bed. You’re incredible, have other-worldly stamina, and a fantastic body. It’s an incredible feeling to be with someone who validates you and encourages you sexually.

What’s weird, though, is that when you’re with another partner down the line, you try the same things and the results aren’t the same. Sex, indeed, great sex, has a lot to do with personal compatibility. We’ve all felt it.

Good in bed

There are just some people we’re around where there’s a palpable sexual connection. Other times, we force the sexual connection. According to a 2013 article The impact of sexual compatibility on sexual and relationship satisfaction in a sample of young adult heterosexual couples, it said that:

The strongest predictor of sexual satisfaction, after accounting for relationship satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility. Similarly, the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction, after accounting for sexual satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility.

This is absolutely not to say that if sex isn’t great now, it never will be. You just have to be willing to do the work to make it great. That includes frank discussions about what you want/need sexually, and what your partner needs as well. There’s nothing wrong with sexual feedback sessions.

When giving or soliciting feedback, avoid negatives. Start by accentuating the positives. “I really liked it when you did that…”, or “Oh my god when you started doing that it was incredible.” That will help your partner clue in on what you want. On the other hand, you can also actively seek feedback on how you’re doing. It may be a bit much to get live feedback while you’re having sex but take note of responsive cues from your partner when you touch them or kiss them a certain way.

Getting good at sex takes work. It’s probably the most fun work you’ll ever do, though. Start small, take some chances, and try new things! Life’s too short to get caught up in insecurities over how we look. Remember, practice makes perfect, so get out there and practice!

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Psychosexual therapy

Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

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Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

 

Psychosexual therapy exercises are one of the most common reasons people come to sex therapy!

Power dynamics can play a role in our intimate relationships, yet that’s not to say that power dynamics are static. They are fluid and change as we change and become different people. Sometimes we are the mentor, and sometimes we need to be the one being mentored. Sometimes we want to be led, and other times we want to chart the path.

In every relationship, there is an exchange. It begins during the courtship process, where we attract potential partners with our inclination to show empathy, our lovemaking abilities, or our ability to provide and protect.

If you’re honest, you know what we mean. In every relationship, there’s an exchange that goes on. It may be physical or emotional, but you are essentially giving something for something else in return. You may be giving it graciously, but you’re giving and receiving, nonetheless.

That’s one of the reasons there is a persistent fear of sex work. Buried underneath our fear or proclaimed disapproval of sex work is knowing that there is always a rate of exchange in all relationships.

 

The Relationship Corporation

Remember the last time you fell in love? Or the first time? It’s an amazing feeling, hard to explain, but oh so incredible. If someone asked you “why?” about the person you love, you’d probably let out a sigh and think of the words to explain something so hard to verbalize.

Love is unconditional. Relationships, on the other hand, take agreements. Think about it. You might fall in love with someone who currently has no job, but would you stay with them if they never planned on ever getting one?

Your demands for equitable exchange become more evident as you start developing a committed relationship. There are certain things you want, and certain things you are willing to give. Some things you can’t live without, and others you can let slide. It’s all a process of getting your needs met and finding someone you care enough about to meet their needs. 

 

 

How Exchange Leads to a Fulfilling Sex Life 

Money and sex. These two issues are what the vast majority of couples talk about with therapists all over the world. They’re the main driver for divorce and have destroyed many a marriage or partnership.

If you think about it, the underlying reason so many people struggle with sex is that they feel there is an unfair exchange dynamic in their relationship. Whether you want more sex, better sex, or less sex, if you and your partner aren’t on the same page, or don’t work to improve any incompatibilities, it can spell trouble.

While there is something to be said for being sexually compatible with your partner, some people grow into their sexual potential. Here are some psychosexual exercises you can do to create a more fulfilling sex life and ultimately a better relationship with your partner.

 

Create a Connection Through Eye Contact:

When was the last time you held eye contact with your partner for a long period? When was the last time you did it while you were having sex? Holding eye contact can be incredibly uncomfortable at first. You may feel silly or vulnerable. After you get past the awkward stage, however, you are transported to a place of deep connection.

Psychosexual therapy

 

Tap the Oxytocin Well:

Oxytocin is a hormone in your brain that drives bonding and sexual reproduction. When you’re trying to create a better sexual relationship with your partner, you must understand what drives their oxytocin release. Frequently, touching, relaxing, and orgasms trigger the release of oxytocin.

Spend the time necessary to find out how your partner likes to be touched, what they like when you’re making love, and what to avoid.

 

Give a Massage:

Giving a sensual massage is a wonderful way to relax the body. When you’re in a relaxed state, your breathing is more centered, you’re more in tune with your body, and you’re more open to intimacy.

Give your partner a sensual massage by spending about an hour massaging their body. Use the time to help them relax muscles in the back, shoulders, and neck, but also focus on intimate areas like the inner thighs and butt cheeks. Massage by circling into those areas and then moving away. Repeat that a few times. You’ll gradually increase your partner’s anticipation and it can be a bit of fun teasing before sex. 

 

Eradicate Anxiety:

Nervousness inhibits sexual performance. It can be harder to get an erection, climax, or just plain relax and enjoy yourself. Whenever you feel intense feelings of shame, fear, or anxiety, your brain and body enter fight or flight mode. It releases adrenaline which triggers blood flow away from extremities and your genitals. That means it’s harder to become aroused. When you’re relaxed, your parasympathetic system is in overdrive, pushing blood to your genitals and increasing arousal.

It’s important to note that there’s no, “It’s just me” here. People who are anxious or nervous dealing with sex aren’t facing some simplistic mental block. They’re also dealing with physiological issues. Overcoming them takes time and working with a sex therapist can help. 

 

Consent & Choice!

The sex exchange isn’t just about when two people agree to offer and receive sex. A lot of the time, what happens during sex is also up for negotiation. You might have a particular fantasy or want to dress a certain way. Your partner may want to introduce toys or other sex aids into the picture.

You might have the desire to spank, hair pull, or try some BDSM. This is something you can negotiate together. For example, if I want my butt slapped, I would negotiate with my partner a situation where I can calibrate where I want to be touched, the intensity rating on a (1-10), and the type of hit I am looking for.

I would tap and then they can spank. I would rate it as a number (for example a 5) and then say I was looking for something more intense, and can I get their version of a 7. Then I would tap, and they would spank at a 7.

Being free to express yourself sexually is one of the best things about being in a committed relationship with a partner you can trust.

Consent and choice are not only about negotiating a sexual fantasy. Some people struggle with intimacy because they have a history of trauma. This changes the picture. They may be dealing with past abuse, strict religious morality, and other inhibitions that make sexual expression a struggle.

One of the antidotes to trauma and abuse is CONTROL and CHOICE. I’ve found that being able to negotiate the terms of sexual encounters with our partners, and using the above psychosexual exercises, can help you overcome inhibitions and become ok with sexual expression. 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Natural Male Enhancement

Natural Male Enhancement

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Natural Male Enhancement

 

When did the obsession over penis size start? I mean, if you take a trip to Rome, you’ll see row after row of statues with a beautiful muscular physique. Draft your eyes a bit lower, though, and you see some pretty small penises. Some say small penises were idealized then. It wasn’t too long ago, so why the shift?

These days, from grade school locker rooms to professional pornography shoots, people look at and talk about penis size. Now it’s a huge part of sex culture. People with penises silently judge themselves based on their “size”. It’s not their defining trait, but it’s certainly on the mind.

Sure, if you’ve got an average-sized package, you’re always looking for a bit of an edge. Maybe in the right lighting, whoever’s looking at your waist region will look fantastic after a nice night out. Additionally, a few compliments from partners or casual hookups on your size are enough to never make you worry about it again.

There are, though, people who struggle over their penis size. They worry about what impression it makes and how it affects sexual performance. There’s so much emphasis on large penises these days, that it’s easy to get trapped into self-consciousness if you feel like you’re smaller than average.

The good news is that you can help enhance your penis naturally by taking a few steps. It’s not going to take you from four inches to twelve, but natural male enhancement works. What’s best? It will make you feel better about yourself and more confident in dealing with intimate situations.

 

Stop Smoking

This is not a joke. Smoking can shrink your penis size. Unfortunately, sometimes smokers suffer from permanent penis shrinkage that cannot always be reversed.

It’s a small minority of smokers, yet any chance is reason enough not to do so. Especially when you think about all the other reasons not to smoke cigarettes.

When you smoke, it affects blood vessels in the body, including the penis. 

When the blood flow is impaired, it prevents the penis from stretching and filling with blood during an erection. 

Not only could you suffer a frustrating episode right before sex, but it also affects your ability to maintain an erection. That’s bad news for you and could be bad news for whoever you’re having sexual interactions with. 

After you’ve stopped smoking, not only will you notice a difference in your size and the ability to get and maintain an erection; you’ll feel better overall! It may be a worthwhile goal for any of you still smoking!

 

Try to Lose Some Weight

If you’re overweight, excess fat may restrict blood flow inside blood vessels as well. Of course, consult your doctor whenever you attempt to lose weight. Some people don’t have the weight to lose!

There are ways you should go about losing weight that make it healthy, so find what works for your overall lifestyle.

Losing weight can be great for your overall health if you are on the heavier side, and it can bring some positive news for your penis!

Proportions matter, right? 

When you have excess weight above the waist, it can make your penis look small in comparison. Certainly, even a large penis can look small on a large person. 

When you lose weight, some of the fat on the pubic bone disappears, leaving more room for your penis to shine. 

Fun Fact – your penis also extends back into your body. Losing excess fat from your waist and pelvis will reveal more of your penis root and allow for greater sensation and deeper penetration during sex.

 

Take Inventory of When You Feel the Firmest and Hardest

Enhancement isn’t just about size all the time. The great thing about penises is that they get bigger when you need them to! Natural male enhancement deals also with getting better, harder, and longer erections. 

Hormones feed erections. In bodies with penises, testosterone feeds your ability to get and keep an erection. Higher levels of testosterone mean you become aroused more frequently and easily. 

Lower testosterone equates to lower sex drive, among other negative symptoms. 

Hormone levels change regularly. They shift when you’re in different physical shapes, based on your diet, the time of day, your age, and other factors.

One thing you can do for natural male enhancement is to understand your body and take stock of what’s going on when you have a great erection. 

Natural Male Enhancement

Don’t just say that you get a great erection because you’re about to make love to someone very attractive.

Is your erection better in the morning? Is it more firm at night? How are your erections after one drink? After four? What about after you smoke? What about if you don’t sleep well?

Notice the patterns in your erections. When you can zero in on what makes your erection great, then you can get started working on creating those conditions over and over.

 

Try Some Ginseng for Performance Enhancement

Let’s just get this out of the way. Sometimes it’s hard to get or hold an erection. Don’t let yourself get too down about it, and see what natural male enhancement can do for you. 

People with penises all over the world have dealt with this. It can be embarrassing, especially when you’re eager to impress, and let’s just admit that it’s a fact of life, and normalize this!

Chronic erectile dysfunction may need attention from a physician. Sometimes chronic erectile dysfunction is a sign of something else! 

Sometimes people experience more difficulty getting and staying hard based on age and other factors. 

Ginseng is one thing you can try to overcome erection challenges!

Red ginseng is a traditional Korean herbal remedy that’s long been used overseas to treat several conditions. 

Recently, it’s made its way into the United States because of its ability to help with erectile dysfunction. The science behind red ginseng is still being researched. Our favorite types are Herb Pharm Asian (Panex) Ginseng Tincture or Pure Encapsulations Panex Ginseng. 

However, Ginseng is believed to increase levels of nitric oxide in the blood which can improve blood flow and help you get a better erection faster.

In 2008, the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology published a review that pointed to red ginseng as improving ED in multiple studies. Since then, more and more people with penises struggling with ED have benefitted from taking ginseng. I have seen it in my practice numerous times!

 

Work with What You’ve Got

You need to recognize that, without surgery, there’s only so much you can do. 

Every natural enhancement can marginally improve your erections and the size of your penis. 

When added up together, however, they can make a massive difference! 

You’ll feel great and your partners will start to take notice.

Love the skin, and penis you are in, and know what you can and cannot do to help!

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Tantric Sex Therapist

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

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Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

 

Tantric sex therapy can be a life-changing form of counseling that can alter the course of your intimacy and loving relationships. 

People involved in tantra are deeply curious about the exploration of sex, taking it from something that at times can seem simple, transforming it into a deeper, more meaningful experience.

For a lot of people, sex is an activity about the release. People treat it like it’s a primal urge that serves to reduce tension and experience a fleeting moment of pleasure. 

It becomes routine, a “weekend-only” appointment between couples. With the stress of daily life hovering over us constantly, pressure enters the bedroom, and sex suffers.

Tantric sex therapy can help you become more in tune with your mind and body, allowing you to connect physically and emotionally during sex. It elevates the sexual connection you have with yourself and your partner.

 

Meeting with a Tantric Sex Therapist

First of all, here’s what you need to know about tantric sex therapists. They’ve dedicated at least hundreds of hours to learning their practice and working under the supervision of licensed therapists and trainers. 

 

To become certified, they have to meet stringent requirements laid out by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). 

This involved earning an advanced clinical degree and extensive clinical experience.

When you first meet with a tantric sex therapist, there will be a feeling-out process. 

They’ll want to know your motivations for undertaking tantra sex therapy and try to understand where you are currently emotionally and as a lover. 

Remember, sex therapy is a process of exploration meant to help you become a better lover and ultimately experience sex and life in a more positive way.

Additionally, seeing a sex therapist isn’t just about learning how to give a better blow job or engage in lengthier foreplay. 

Licensed clinicians can help you if you’re dealing with issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and other challenges. It’s a process designed for sexual healing and sexual pleasure.

 

Somatic Sexology in Therapy Sessions

Some AASECT-Certified Sex Therapists have other practitioners who weave somatic experiencing and tantra in their practice with clients. 

Somatic sexology is a more embodied form of sex therapy that is designed to improve the connection between mind and body pertaining to sex and intimacy.

Many people, for a number of reasons including religious backgrounds, cultural norms, trauma, and other personal history have trouble connecting pleasure with bodily sensations. 

They are disconnected from their own bodies, and as a result, can recoil or resist sexual pleasure. 

 

It’s hard for them to relax during sex, which prevents them from connecting with themselves or their partners. 

This can lead to complications trying to achieve orgasm and frustrations in intimate relationships.

A tantric sex therapist focuses on the power of breath, sound, and movement to help you or a loved one overcome difficulties relaxing and engaging sexually.

 

Breath

Breath is an often-overlooked factor in sexual health. Many people, over the course of a sexual encounter, will hold their breath or breathe too rapidly. Tantric Sex Therapist

When this happens, the body can interpret the stress as dangerous, and begin to tense up. Improper breathing makes orgasming harder and will disrupt the flow of sexual connection.

A tantric sex therapist can help you understand how your breathing is affecting your sexual life. They can give you breathing techniques that will help you relax and gain greater control over your body. 

 

Better breath control improves blood flow and oxygenation that results in a more relaxed, stimulating sexual experience.

 

Sound

Sound therapy is another way a tantric sex therapist can help you destress and engage more consciously.

 

Therapists use calming music, white noise, and other sounds to help you relax and center your mind and body. 

 

Think about the sounds you hear during sex and what kind of response they trigger. If you’re a parent, the sound of crying or bullying can destroy any sexual desire. 

Likewise, if the TV is on, radio, or other kinds of music and noise that detract from the experience.

Therapists help use sound to improve your sexual mood. They can also help you understand how different words or speech can elicit positive or negative sexual responses. 

That’s great news for partners who struggle with what to say to turn you on.

 

Movement

The final component of Tantra is using movement and sexual positions to enhance or highlight pleasure and arousal. It helps you become more comfortable with intimate touch. 

The techniques will improve nonverbal communication between you and your partner and help you achieve sexual breakthroughs.

Learning new positions and how to move can also help you orgasm more easily. They can even be longer-lasting and more intense. 

People who practice tantric sex frequently experience full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms.

 

Tantric Sex for Mind-Body Alignment

Tantric sex therapy helps increase the mind-body connection in those who are open to sexual exploration. Good therapists know that everyone starts their sexual journey from different points. 

People who experience roadblocks to feeling comfortable with physical touch will need different suggestions than those looking for better orgasms. 

Tantric sex therapists will work with you to have better, more meaningful sex wherever you are.

Don’t get stuck in a sexual rut! 

Learning about and practicing simple tantric sex exercises are fun and a great way to grow a sexual connection between you and your partner. 

What’s even more fun is that the more you practice, the better you become. As you master the breathing, sound, and movement techniques, your sexual experiences will be more fulfilling. When the sex is great, it can be hard to complain about anything else.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Reverse Cowgirl

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

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Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

 

For all of you adventurers out there, it’s time to explore the reverse cowgirl position!

Who says you need to ride bareback when you can ride reverse cowgirl?

The feedback on this position is very polarized.

Some people love this position and others hate it.

If you WANT to be better at Reverse Cowgirl, the following article is a collaboration between a Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Personal Trainer!

reverse cowgirl

 

Pascale Lean is a certified Personal Trainer,

Health Coach, Weight Management,

Behavior Change and Functional Training Specialist.

 

Check out her website!

 

Get your quads ready! The Reverse Cowgirl position can be strenuous on your quads, so it’s a good idea to stretch beforehand.

Fitness Tips for the Person on Top:

  • Improve your flexibility with stretching! 
    • Lay on your stomach, then bend your right leg. Grab your right foot with your right hand, and slightly pull your foot towards your butt. Hold for 30 – 60 seconds, then switch sides. 
    • We recommend asking your partner to give you a back massage while stretching.
  • Strengthen your core and lower body muscles for better endurance. 
    • Bodyweight exercises like squats, walking lunges and hip bridges are most effective. 
    • Start with three sets of 12 reps every other day.

 

More Tips: 

  • Some people indicate that reverse cowgirl is nice for intimately connecting during penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
  • Focus on the connection, especially if the partners are both seated upright, looking at something visually pleasing together. 
  • The one on the bottom of the reverse cowgirl needs to help the one on top! It takes some coordination.
  • Make sure you have a good rhythm going.
  • Don’t be hesitant to discuss if it isn’t working mid position. 

 

Benefits:

  • Despite the gendered name, reverse cowgirl can be used between same sex couples.
  • It provides a fun and unique view! 
  • Clear communication is needed between the partners to improve the pleasure benefits of the position. 
  • When in the rhythm, the position can sometimes allow for the partner on top to self-pleasure with one hand. Opening up access to the clitoris allows for the possibility of manual stimulation. 
  • Many women who are pregnant report that this is an accessible position for their bellies. 

Now go try the Reverse Cowgirl sex position!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Christmas sex

Why Christmas Sex is So Good

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Why Christmas Sex is So Good

 

Even when people get stressed with all of the parties, the family drama and everything else, Christmas sex is one hell of a way to blow off some steam.

Christmas is a fantastic time for sex. People are in great moods, there’s a romance in the air with all of the wonderful holiday tunes and is a great time for intimate gift giving.

If you’re like us, you start to get into the holiday spirit right as December rolls around. That way, you have more fun to enjoy everything there is to love about Christmas and all the other winter holidays.

But this is a blog about intimacy, right? What’s that got to do with Christmas and feeling some holiday cheer. Well, we’re here to tell you that Christmas is a great time for love and holiday cheer shouldn’t be the only thing you’re feeling this month.

Here are some of the best reasons why Christmas sex is so good.

 

There’s Something in the Air

Unless you’re a total scrooge, you probably love the end of year holidays. As we move through December and into January, it’s a time of reflection about the year that has gone by. We feel gratitude for the people in our lives who mean so much, and we start planning how we’re going to take over in 2020.

Christmas Sex

One of the absolute best ways to show someone you care is to capitalize on the nostalgia and romance in the air with some amazing sex. If you’re in a committed relationship, Christmas sex can be about deep connections.

If you’re single, just know that other people are feeling the same draw to people around them that you are. There’s never a better time to shoot your shot. Take a chance and ask out your secret crush or that person you’ve noticed you have incredible chemistry with. You never know, you could soon be having some of the best Christmas sex of your life.

The holidays are all about showing love and receiving love. Make sure to show that special someone in your life how much you love them this Christmas.

 

Christmas Sex is Better than Yoga

Ok, so this might depend on if you LOVE yoga, but Christmas sex is one of the best stress relievers out there. When you get wound up with all the celebrating, driving, gift buying, and other activities, lock the doors so you and your partner can get a healthy sweat in. 

It’s easy for some people to get overwhelmed during Christmas. A lot is going on. Just remember to make time for yourself and your partner. Don’t neglect intimacy because you’ve got a million things on your to-do list.

Making Christmas sex a priority can turn into some of the best sex of your life! With so much built-up tension, it’s bound to play out in the bedroom or wherever you decide to let it all out. Focus the stress and channel it into the passion between you and your lover.

 

Giving Gifts in Private can be More Fun

Giving presents is one of the best perks of the holiday season. Not only is it fun to splurge a bit for the people you love, but it’s a great way to show family and friends how much you care.

Christmas is also the perfect time to give your partner something a bit spicier. When all the presents in the living room are opened, take your special someone aside and give them a gift for both of you. 

Sexy Gifts

Here are some naughty gift ideas:

  • Lingerie
  • A stack of cards that can be turned in for sexual favors
  • High-end massage oils
  • A weekend getaway without the kids
  • A vibrator or some other sex toy

Whether it’s a vibrator or some fancy handcuffs, it’ll send a clear message that you want to keep things steamy. Remember, these gifts are really for two. Hopefully, you’ll find yourself in some crazy Christmas sex before too long.

 

The Kids are Preoccupied

If you have small kids, it’s hard to find time for sex. Even older kids can make love making tough. They likely know what locked doors and noises coming from the bedroom mean. With kids, a lot of couples find that sex becomes a routine. It’s something that can only happen after kids’ teeth have been brushed and bedtime is over.

When it’s Christmas, though, you have a shot at spontaneous sex that you probably haven’t had all year. Kids are busy playing with toys, watching Christmas movies, or hanging out with friends while school is out. Don’t waste this precious opportunity! Have all the morning and afternoon sex you can. Do it in the dining room, in the laundry room, wherever.

Couples can capitalize on holiday distractions to have tremendous sex. Changing up the timing and the routine is sometimes all it takes to breathe new life into your sex life.

 

Keep It Hot Indoors While It’s Snowing Outside

In a lot of places, it’s freezing at Christmas. People are stuck indoors because it’s brutal outside. Sometimes people complain that winters are rough because they can get out and run, the days are shorter because the sun’s up less, and as a result, people can get a bit melancholy.

Christmas Sex

Use Christmas sex to beat back the winter blues. If you’re lucky enough to have a fireplace, get a fire going and set the mood. Pour some wine and turn on some music. Get close to your partner and make it happen.

Listen, there’s a reason September is the most popular birth month. In a 2017 Time article, it said that researchers at Harvard University found that between 1973 and 1999, the most common birthday was September 16. 

Yep, you guessed it, that’s nine months after Christmas. 

People love Christmas sex so much they’ve been using the holidays to make babies for decades.

When it’s cold outside and you feel a bit bored, there’s nothing better than some amazing Christmas sex to get you feeling right.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Doggy Style Sex

Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex

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Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex

 

You’ve either seen it or done it, so you know why doggy style sex is such a popular position.

Doggy style sex has sat near or at the top of the sexual chart for years because it’s a delicious play on dominance and submission.

The greater freedom of movement provides ample opportunity for a killer view from behind and access for the bottom to receive either clitoral stimulation or masturbation of the shaft from the front. 

It isn’t just a “static” position either! There are a bunch of hot variations to play around with when you try this one. 

 

Doggy Style Sex is Versatile!

Basic Doggy style sex involves one partner on their hands and knees while the other partner enters from behind them. 

You can switch it up a bit by kneeling on the edge of the bed or a couch while your partner stands upright behind you or lay completely flat. 

Doggy Style Sex

Picture (From Getty)

You can angle your back and your butt up sharply, giving your partner different angles, or even control the rhythm yourself while they remain still.

Doggy style is also perfect for people who love anal sex or are just trying it for the first time. 

In doggy style, it’s easier to focus on penetration solely, instead of having to worry about someone’s body weight on top of you. 

Controlling your breathing and relaxing your muscles comes more naturally in the position.

 

Tips for the Bottoms in Doggy Style Sex

It’s easy to think that all you have to do is hold tight and keep the position when you’re having doggy style sex. That, however, is far from true! 

While, most of the work can come from the on-top partner, there is still a bunch you can do to make the sex incredible.

Here are some great ways to make doggy more fun for you and a blast for your partner:

 

Self-Stimulation

Doggy is great for clitoral stimulation or for jerking off the penis because you can access one of your hands for pleasure. 

Since nobody is squashed on top of you, your hands have free access to your genitals! While your partner is having a blast behind you, you can have some fun as you self-pleasure.

 

Change It Up

The way you angle your back and hips is going to completely alter the angle of penetration.

That will bring with it a bunch of different sensations that are hard to get in other positions. Trust us, your partner will love it too.

 

Submission as Empowered

Yes, some people like doggy style sex MORE because they enjoy feeling submissive during sex at times. 

However, for many, doggy style sex is a playful way to mix up the routine. Whether you want to lift yourself up by holding on to a bed frame or want your partner to stay still while you control how fast penetration goes in and out, there’s plenty for you to do.

 

Let Your Partner Know

There’s a lot you can do communication-wise during doggy style sex. You can turn your head to catch your partner’s eye or verbalize what you’d like them to do behind you. 

Let them know how your self-pleasure feels, and sometimes you can ask for a playful spank or hair pull to spice things up.

 

Now for the Tops – Here’s What to Do in Doggy Style Sex

Doggy Style Sex

Artist: EMILY SCHIFF-SLATER

When you are the partner in the back, you’re steering the ship. 

You have a bird’s eye view of what’s happening, and, hey, we know how much fun you’re having! 

Here are some hints on what you can do to make doggy style sex more fun for both of you.

 

Change Positions within the Positions

When you’re in doggy position, mix things up by lifting a leg and planting a foot down. 

With one knee down and one knee up, you’ll have better hip control for thrusting. You can lean into your partner or back away, changing how you’re entering for different sensations.

 

Move Your Legs Outside of Your Partner’s

Usually, doggy style sex involves the person behind’s legs being positioned on the inside. The partner on their hands and knees spread their legs, so their knees are naturally outside.

However, you can change it up and move your knees outside of your partner’s for a closer, tighter feel. It’s a matter of personal preference, and it is fun to try out! . 

 

Try a Bit of Consensual D/s Play

Be careful here, because not everyone is into submissive-dominant sex play.

You have to ask for enthusiastic consent.

If it isn’t a hell yes, assume it is a no! 

-Amanda Pasciucco

Experiment with some hair tugging, light back-scratching, spanking, and other forms of rough play to make things super hot.

 

Hands on the Hips or Shoulders

When you’re behind your partner, place both hands around their hips and pull them back into you as you thrust for deeper penetration.

If you can (some women topping with strap-ons report that they cannot), reach for the shoulders of the person who is bottoming. That will give you leverage. 

 

Clitoral Stimulation or Manual Masturbation

If your partner is willing to let you try, reach around and help them out with some genital stimulation. I personally believe it is best to let the bottom do this because it is a lot of coordination. However, if you can and they want you to try, go for it!

 

Other Fun Ideas for Doggy Style Sex

 

Now you have the basics and hopefully some ideas to play with for your next round of doggy. 

There’s still a lot more you can do with the position to keep exploring each other sexually.

 

For the partner in the front, try putting one or two pillows under your hips and stomach. You can lay down on them and your partner will still get a great angle from behind. 

They can grab onto the pillows and pull them close during each thrust without yanking you around too hard.

 

If you’re open to it, introduce some light BDSM with some handcuffs and let your partner take full charge of doggy style sex. 

Keep in mind that whenever you start with BDSM, you need to be clear about boundaries, so everyone feels comfortable. Again, if it isn’t a hell yes, assume a no! 

 

Doggy style sex has become incredibly popular, so much so that there are even names for varying positions within the doggy style position. 

When you have some time, explore more about what you can do with doggy style sex to make sexual intercourse hotter with lots of incredible pleasure!

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Male Masturbation Techniques

Sex Therapist Secret Male Masturbation Techniques Revealed!

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Sex Therapist Secret Male Masturbation Techniques Revealed!

 

What are your favorite male masturbation techniques?

Mine is edging, and I am going to teach you how to get longer, and stronger orgasms.

Male Masturbation Techniques

It’s time to take control back of your member!

A brief introduction into a variety of male masturbation techniques encourages conscious self-pleasuring.

In recent years, there has been a new term that has entered the sexual lexicon – a favorite one of my male masturbation techniques, according to internet research.

“Edging” is the practice of extending and intensifying the period of sexual stimulation and pleasure by delaying orgasm, specifically ejaculation.

DISCLAIMER: For the sake of brevity rather than priority, we will be limiting our conversation to humans with external genitals in the context of “male” sexuality. Please email us if you want more on masturbation techniques across the binary!

Masturbation is Good for You!

Self-pleasure is an excellent way of providing for your own needs! It is fun, self-soothing, and feels good.

Most men stumble onto this natural wonderment in puberty and joyfully or shamefully retreat to the privacy of their room and their receptive sweat socks and lotion bottles with great regularity.

No harm, no foul! 

As young men mature, so do their sexual and emotional needs, and many begin to seek out intensifying factors such as porn; and occasionally other fetishistic behaviors, like self-bondage, panty-sniffing and about a million other things, including edging. 

These patterns will certainly shape the sexual behavior and preferences for the rest of his life, occasionally in unpleasant ways. 

Male Masturbation Techniques

Masturbation is powerful in its potential to “program” our sexual behavior.

Here is where edging can be beneficial to our sexual performance when we add a partner into the mix.

Often, there is shame associated with ejaculation before your partner is ready for it. 

This shame is not helpful, so I’ll bypass the tropes and point out that, generally speaking, the ability to control orgasm and ejaculation is considered a desirable trait in a male lover, and the lack thereof would be high on the list of frustrations by people who find sex with their partners unfulfilling.

A good start is to not ejaculate until you have been masturbating for at least 20 minutes. 

This will help you develop the ability to sense and delay the onset of ejaculation with pacing, a good second step is to not allow yourself to ever stop masturbating, but rather slow down and speed up to gain even greater control. 

At more advanced levels, this will help you to develop the muscles required to delay ejaculation and maintain a firm erection even when pleasure increases or is momentarily interrupted.

There are even videos on Pornhub to assist you in this practice. 

In my opinion, most of them are too short, but they may be helpful to you (search JOI or edging challenge)! Some even have a guide sound or visual to require you to stroke at a certain intensity.

Hopefully your solitary practice of edging will benefit your sexual relations as well!

Male Masturbation Techniques

Wouldn’t it be nice to know going into a sexual encounter that you have perfect control of your own orgasm and will be able to please your partner with a mutually satisfactory experience without anxiety over orgasming too soon or that awkward feeling of being “done” when your partner is still raring to go?

So far, we have only spoken of this as a means to an end, and it can be helpful that way; however, edging with a partner can be a wonderful experience. 

It can be done as pure hedonism or with with an edge of power exchange where control of orgasm and prolonging of pleasure becomes kind of a game. 

In porn, it seems to be popular when combined with humiliation play or bondage and “ruined orgasm” videos abound where a man is made to edge over several days, or weeks even, and is then stimulated to the point of orgasm and then stimulation stops just at the onset of orgasm. 

It seems mean, but the guys don’t seem to mind – LOL.

The increased volume of semen that is often a result of edging is also a factor for some people as is the increased “horniness” that prolonged edging over days or weeks can cause. 

There are many reasons to give all of these considerations a try in your self-pleasure practice.

Have fun with your new Male Masturbation Techniques!

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.