masturbation

How Often Should You Masturbate?

How Often Should You Masturbate?

 

The question “How Often Should You Masturbate?” has probably been entered into Google more times during the Coronavirus than ever before in history. I mean, we’re quarantined, what else are we supposed to do? 

NYC government even went so far as to recommend masturbation, saying that you are your safest sex partner and that masturbation was the surest way not to contract the virus from sex! 

The only caveat being you wash your hands, with soap, regularly… please. 

If you’re someone with high sexual desire, all it takes is a change of the wind, a single fleeting thought floating across your mind to trigger the thought, “Hey, maybe I should get off right now.”

If you’re not so high in desire, you might also be masturbating more than you were pre-pandemic. That’s normal given how much time we have on our hands. After all, there’s only so much Netflix you can watch, right?

Thankfully, masturbation is a godsend for people locked away in quarantine. Especially for our single readers, masturbation can give you a dose of self-love while you abstain from sex with partners due to health concerns.

Is there such a thing as too much masturbation? Let’s take a look!

masturbation

 

The Health Effects of Masturbation

Well, we know for sure that masturbation doesn’t spread STDs, and you won’t get pregnant, so check those boxes

The main concern with masturbation is self-harm. If you’re masturbating a lot, or if you’re not following a few steps, you can end up chafing your skin or get sore. That’s not that serious, yet it can be uncomfortable.

You want to wank it knowing that there’s the potential to go again another day soon, so make sure you do the following:

Wash your hands – keep things as sanitary as possible. Germs or dirt can cause an infection that can last for days.

Use Lubricant – Take it easy on your genitals. This will go a long way in preventing sores or redness. It will also feel better and likely will make your orgasms more intense.

Pace Yourself if It Hurts – You know your own body, so don’t let your desperation for an orgasm cause you to hurt yourself. Stop masturbating if you start to feel more pain than you’d like.

Use a Good Vibrator if You Can – Get a quality sex toy that will take you over the edge!

 

Masturbation is Normal!

Unfortunately, for religious, cultural, or other societal reasons, masturbation lived in the shadows for decades. It was something we all did; we just couldn’t talk about it.

A lot of people grew up with a lot of shame around self-stimulation and still struggle to talk about it today. Thankfully, there’s much less stigma around masturbation these days. Maybe enough people have been caught or there have been enough movie scenes featuring masturbation that we’ve all learned to get over ourselves a bit.

Masturbation is a great way to relieve stress, feel good and engage with your sexuality. Indeed, it’s one of the best ways people who struggle with sexuality can become familiar with their bodies.

I often counsel clients who can’t orgasm or wrestle with shame around sex to masturbate more so they can become more comfortable with their genitals and feeling turned on. It’s too bad when people feel negative about the way their bodies can make them feel.

If you ever feel shame or doubt about your masturbation, you can talk to a therapist about your emotions. They can help you realize that it’s completely normal and even can be a healthy activity. Don’t waste any more time worrying about masturbation. If anything, try to learn how to do it better so you have more fun and orgasm more intensely!

 

The Social Exception to Masturbation

Perhaps the one exception to masturbation is if you’re denying yourself human connection or masturbation is getting in the way of being productive.

Some people with trauma or who want to hide from other problems can masturbate obsessively. In these cases, it’s not the masturbation itself that’s “too much”. It’s the inclination to distract from real life. Running and hiding is something we should avoid whether it’s jerking off, drugs, video games, shopping, you name it.

masturbation

Hopefully, we’re all leaning a bit harder on masturbation during quarantine to blow off some steam and tide us over until we can get back out on the dating scene. However, if you’re finding that you’re jerking off multiple times a day and you just can’t get to that work project, then maybe you need to pace yourself.

Don’t let masturbation, or any behavior for that matter, get in the way of doing the things you need to feel good about yourself. That means exercise, work, interactions with family and friends, and a slew of other things you should be doing in quarantine to get emotional and physical support.

The one thing I will say, though, is to avoid demonizing masturbation. Technically, there is no such thing as masturbation too much. No, you’re not going to go blind. Relax.

 

Saving Your Bullets for the Big One

If you’re a pro masturbator, then you know that masturbation frequently affects how your orgasms feel. Blasting off a bunch of rapid-fire bullets is different than saving up for a few days and dropping an orgasm bomb.

If you’ve been on a solid run of one to two times per day, add a little suspense to your life and wait a couple of days. Your orgasm will probably be longer and more intense because you’ve built up for a bit. Learn about edging and how it can supercharge your orgasms.

Most of all, make sure you’re enjoying the act. I talk to clients to whom masturbation is like brushing teeth, it’s just part of the daily routine. That’s fine if it works for you, all I would say it to take some time every once in a while, to feel your body and experience your sexuality at a deeper level.

Masturbation, when done right, can be an intense, healing experience. While it’s never going to hold a candle to sexual connection and intimacy with another person, it is still awesomely available.

During all of our downtime, make the extra effort to make masturbation better than ever!

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

postpartum sex

5 Tips to Protecting Yourself from Postpartum Sex Disasters

5 Tips to Protecting Yourself from Postpartum Sex Disasters

 

So, are you struggling with postpartum sex?

Postpartum Sex can cause great stress in the relationship, but it is normal and has a solution!

In this video, I’ll teach you 5 essentials points to have the best Postpartum Sex, and keep the spark in the relationship without neglecting your parenting role.

These tips for Postpartum sex will surely enlighten you on how to maintain a balance and enjoy parenthood without losing passion in the room!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to have improve your Postpartum Sex!

 

GET “HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR SPOUSE” FOR FREE

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

ClickToTweet: https://ctt.ac/Ud3aa

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

LCAT provides video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Female Masturbation – Owning Pleasure with Virtual Erotic Recess

Female Masturbation – Owning Pleasure with Virtual Erotic Recess

 

In November 2019, I wrote about my first time attending Betty Dodson’s Bodysex weekend – a weekend centered on female masturbation. 

Can you imagine female masturbation occurring online for pleasure, instead of for pornography? 

Coronavirus created a space where that was possible! Globally! 

 

Then Coronavirus Hit

It’s been months since my Bodysex experience, and naturally, I was aching for more; yet Betty and Carlin’s BodySex was sold out the Goop episode, BodySex 2020 would be sold out… 

All of their workshops are done in person. 

The effect of showing your genitals and orgasming in front of people you just met is incredibly delicious and empowering; so much so that most attendees report it to be “life changing.” 

Coronavirus threw a wrench into the plans of pleasure though. 

All of BodySex workshops were canceled to meet social distancing requirements. As I would imagine Betty and Carlin must have been bummed. However, within a couple weeks, the news came forward that Erotic Recess would be moving forward… on Zoom!

Yes, you read that right. Female masturbation for pleasure on Zoom. 

We would be part of piloting a new program of sexual pleasure from our own homes. 

Imagine a bunch of women on the same screen – totally nude – exploring and celebrating their own body together! 

I was intrigued to be a part of seeing if this experiment would “work” in the pandemic. 

Would the virtual Erotic Recess seminar hold a candle to the in-person BodySex that included female masturbation?

 

How Did It Go? 

Being a part of a virtual seminar is obviously different from meeting in person. 

Sitting in a circle with attendees facilitates a natural interaction and conversation flow. 

You take turns by… going around the circle. 

It’s also easier to read people’s moods when you can feel their energy up close.

Still, I was just excited that technology has enabled us to do this! 

After all, even in the face of a pandemic, pleasure must go on…

We started with a bit of boundary setting to begin! 

That happens in every seminar anyway, and it’s especially important over webcams. 

Carlin held a sacred space and was clear about no penises in the circle!

 

Female Masturbation For Global Healing

Erotic Recess leaves no room for avoidance or shame. 

We embrace our bodies, own our pleasure, and celebrate our vulvas for the incredible gift they are! As the workshop progressed, we talked about orgasms and masturbated in front of our computers, focused totally on pleasure and the solidarity of connection. 

It was great seeing how so many women experience and approach orgasm so differently. All of us better understand that there is no “right” way to be in pleasure. All of us realize that there is no “one” camera angle that works for all adult female bodies and movement abilities. 

 

My Virtual Female Masturbation Takeaways

Here are some of my main takeaways:

  • Ownership is SO important – During the workshop, attendees are discouraged as much as possible from talking about how others have affected their sexuality. The emphasis is on owning your eroticism. You get to decide that you deserve pleasure and bask in its glory!
  • The Right Tool Helps – millions of women will celebrate Betty Dodson for the rest of their lives to thank her for making the vibrator mainstream. Due to Carlin Ross and the future of BodySex, the pleasure continues… virtually! 
  • Sex tools are a godsend for women, particularly those who struggle to orgasm. My husband recently bought me the Le Wand Feel My Power Special Edition. 
  • I have to say, along with lubing up and Betty’s Barbell, it works wonders! 
  • Strategize with different toys and options until you find the one for you.
  • Once again… pleasure is gorgeous and healing! I have seen thousands of nude bodies at this point, and I just want to say that during female masturbation, most bodies have similar responses, and have sounds of joy.  Instead of shaming self-touch, celebrate it. This process works if you work it.

 

Virtual Erotic Recess Works

In the end, even Coronavirus could not stop our pleasure.

The 16+ women who have shared their screens alongside me have adapted to our new reality, and it didn’t dampen the experience. Each of us came away refreshed and excited to feel more pleasure and be free with our bodies. As Betty always says, “Better orgasms, better world”.

I am so grateful that I get to do this for a living! Erotic Recess is a wonderful reminder to me of how impactful sex therapy is and how many women can change their lives, not just with intimacy, through this process. It’s an incredible experience and I’m moved every time to be a part of it.

If you’re interested in Betty Dodson seminars like Bodysex, check them out now! You’ll be glad you gave it a try.

As some of you may know, pleasure is healing and female masturbation is often the key to unleash the power within. 

We grow through pain and pleasure, usually when we are uncomfortable. 

During this time of a global pandemic, we use female masturbation and self-pleasure during the sexual stimulation process to increase the feel-good hormones in your body! 

Whether or not you reach the release of orgasm, the bodily function that sometimes occurs during sexual interaction, isn’t the goal. The purpose is to connect with you. 

Follow the advice of Dr. Betty Dodson, the Queen of Female Masturbation, by checking out her NYT article. 

Female masturbationYou Are Your Safest Sex Partner: Betty Dodson Wants to Help

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Sexual Cheat Sheet for Exhausted Couples

Sexual Cheat Sheet for Exhausted Couples

Sexual Cheat Sheet for Exhausted Couples

 

You may be surprised to hear that more and more men are seeking help from sexual therapists. These days more men are seeking sex therapy than women at our practice. 

The availability of sex therapy and more open attitudes around talking about sex and getting help have made men more comfortable seeking therapy. That’s a great thing!

In talking to many of the men I come in contact with, a lot of them express similar feelings with regards to intimacy challenges with female partners. They want sex more, they want it longer, and they sometimes feel like their wives, girlfriends, or partners don’t care as much as they’d like.

In long-term relationships, it can almost feel like you’re playing roles. One of you is more sexual, one is better with the finances. You might be a kid person, while your partner is better with fixing the sink.

It’s easy to fall into defined roles in all aspects of life, even with sex. However, the great news is that things aren’t so set in stone, and you can work with your partner to make things better.

Sexual Cheat Sheet for Exhausted Couples

The Ebb and Flow of Sexual Passion

Understand that passion, and certainly, sexual passion rests on a spectrum at any given moment. Think about your sexual desire. Sometimes you’re burning hot with desire for your wife or partner, and sometimes you’re not so on fire.

Think about a time when you’ve been apart for a longer period. Have you ever traveled for work or been away for more than a week? How do you feel if your wife comes out of the bathroom at night dressed in sexy new lingerie or asks you to use a vibrator on her? Chances are that your sex drive and desire for your partner experience a significant spike.

The point is, sexual desire is impacted by so many factors, internal and external. The way you and your partner feel, what’s happened to you during the day, how you’ve been treating each other recently, the way you look, and so many other things influence both of your interest in sex.

 

Understanding Male and Female Sexual Perception

The frustration that a lot of men have is they feel their female partners are just not into it. There are certainly genetic differences in humans when it comes to sex drive. The variance, though, is probably not as large between men and women as so many people believe.

Most men and women are simply programmed a bit differently. We also project our impressions on our partners, which isn’t always helpful.

A lot of women, for instance, believe their partners are only interested in quickies. So many women tell me their male partners are all about the climax, and that everything else is simply a garnish to them.

That, though, is a huge oversimplification about men’s’ sexual motives. Most men want, certainly with their partners, engaging and loving sex that’s fulfilling to everyone involved.

Sexual Cheat Sheet for Exhausted Couples

Women, on the other hand, tend to be much more cerebral when it comes to sex. They have to be emotionally engaged and clear of the distractions we carry throughout the day.

Most of the time, women carry a great deal of emotional strain, worried about work, children, the house, and a million other things.

Adding initiating sex at the end of the day to that list can be exhausting. Additionally, many women struggle with not knowing what kind of sex they want or like.

What ends up happening is a lot of “duty sex”, where the male partner initiates, women obliged to please their partner, and everyone is a 6/10 on the happy scale.

 

Stoking Your Partner’s Passion for Sex

Things don’t have to be this way! Many of the women and men I work with come to realize that sex can be fun and deeply fulfilling for both partners. All it takes is some legwork to understand your partner’s sexual cues and doing the work to get in the right headspace.

For men, and I hate to generalize but this typically rings true, some grabbing and kissing, and a hand on their penis is usually all it takes to set the mood.

Women, though, are not so easy. Here are some ways you can help your female partner feel more comfortable about sex and initiating the type of sex she wants.

 

  1. Don’t always bring up sex right before you want to have sex

Find a time to talk about how your sex life has been going and what you want out of it. Telling your partner you’d like to try anal sex as you’re lying naked in bed isn’t the best approach. A partner will feel more comfortable getting feedback and talking about what they’d like if they are sure that you’re paying attention and not discussing it to serve your interests.

 

  1. Make-out more with nothing else

You and your partner may have settled into a pattern when both of you (or one of you) equate physical touch with initiating sex. Engage in some kissing and cuddling more often. Small investments over time will help build up your intimacy when sex happens.

 

  1. Share physical touch that is focused on her. THEN ASK HER ABOUT IT!

Find time to focus physical touch on her without you orgasming or anything like that. Invest the time in making her feel good about sexual touch and build trust that you’re interested in pleasing her.

After your “touch” sessions, ask her about it! Find out what she liked and didn’t like and use that to inform your interactions going forward.

 

  1. Share sexual touch that ends in orgasms for no one

This is another thing you can do to help your wife or partner feel more comfortable with touch and feel aroused. It helps a lot of women to know that you enjoy touching, kissing, and feeling her as much as you like having an orgasm.

 

  1. Encourage her to talk about her orgasm the next day. Use encouragement!

Remember to follow up on the times when sex is fantastic. Always offer more positive feedback than you think is necessary.

 

  1. Ask about sex dates you can commit to just her, and some dates that are all about you

Many women flourish when boundaries and intent are clear. If you’re both going into a weekend or a night away at a hotel knowing that it’s all about her, then she’ll be more likely to open up. She’ll also have the time to mentally prepare for the intimacy. The better things are for her, the better they’ll be for you when it’s your turn.

Recognize when your partner’s not up for the whole show and only wants a preview. These steps help but there’s so much more you can do! Over time, it will build trust and give her the space to feel comfortable initiating sex.

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

mobile porn

Mobile Porn Goes Mainstream – Why So Many People Consume It?

Mobile Porn Goes Mainstream – Why So Many People Consume It?

 

It’s funny how mobile porn has been treated over the past several decades.

For so long, it was relegated to the shadows. Religious groups came out in strong opposition to the adult film and print industry. They influenced lawmakers into restricting access to pornography even to consenting adults.

These days, though, the cat’s out of the bag. The amount of porn is so big and access to it so easy, that there’s no more pretending. Practically everyone, at some point in their lives, will view porn.

Online porn was the real gamechanger. It was harder to hide nude magazines or VHS tapes with adult movies on them under the bed. Finding your friend’s dad’s porn stash and sneaking a peek in the basement was almost a rite of passage a generation ago.

People were mostly concerned about dealing with the embarrassment of being caught. Enter today, the age of incognito browsers and VPNs. Search history that can be deleted and gone barely a trace. Nowadays, most of the porn viewed by billions of people around the world is done on mobile devices locked by passcodes that are used by only one person.

 

The Porn Industry Has Always Been a Tech Innovator

The adult entertainment industry has always been an early mover when it comes to technology. They moved online before many other mainstream media counterparts, pushing online traffic numbers in the internet’s early days.

Pornography publishers were quick to invest in high-speed modems so online users could have quicker access to their websites. They helped pioneer online streaming and helped normalize online payment systems when people were still suspicious about giving credit card information online.

Porn’s push into mobile began years ago, before retail and other consumer brands were even thinking about a mobile strategy. That early innovation has resulted in massive mobile porn consumption numbers today.

If you want to know what the future holds, take a look at what the adult entertainment industry is up to. Now, when you look online at pornography, you see things like virtual reality, personal engagement with adult entertainers, and greater privacy protections trending. They’re still pushing the envelope.

 

Porn Companies Were Early to Embrace Mobile as a Platform

If you’ve ever looked at porn on a phone or a tablet, it was probably a pretty good experience. There weren’t many bugs or hiccups during loading, and its photos, sites, and videos moved from portrait to landscape seamlessly.

It’s not the same for other industries. So many popular brands had a hard time moving to mobile. Email clients, popular websites, calendars, and other applications are playing catch up.

That’s because porn was so early in its shift to mobile platforms. They saw the day when phones and tablets would be everywhere and made sure to invest in the technology to make the mobile experience as good or even better.

 

Why Mobile is Such a Natural Fit for Porn

Think about it. How many spouses or teenagers have sat at the family computer at night, trying to get a peek at some pornography with one eye over their shoulder about someone walking around the corner?

It’s a classic scenario that’s played out in homes across the world. With mobile, porn users eliminate a lot of the risk of being “caught”. They’re viewing porn on a personal device that can be flipped over in a second or lock the screen instantly with the click of a button.

You also can use discreet browsers that don’t track history or searches, so if you’ve got a snoopy spouse or partner, you don’t have to worry about them looking through your phone when you’re not looking. Whether or not looking at porn without the support and understanding of your spouse is a subject for another discussion.

Mobile devices also make it easier to watch porn and, you know, do what you want to do while you watch porn. You can watch it on the bed, in the bathroom, or on the couch when no one’s around. You can one-hand it while your other hand is, ahem, busy.

 

Mobile Has Removed the Stigma Around Porn Use

Strangely, porn use on mobile platforms has done a lot to take away the stigma around porn use. It’s sort of pulled back the curtain and laid bare just how prevalent pornography use is in the U.S. and other countries.

Now, everyone has a device. When those mobile devices connect to porn sites and adult entertainment servers, they leave a mobile footprint. Porn companies can track and see where viewership is coming from, how long they’re staying at their sites, and what they’re looking at.

That not only helps the porn companies refine the movies and clips they produce (if they know what people are looking at, they make more of those videos), but it also helps them understand their audiences.

When porn companies publish statistics and other data on porn use, it’s evident that almost everyone is watching. Porn companies publish who is paying the most for subscriptions and which state consumes the most porn every year.

That’s made porn less of a secret activity and brought it out into the open. Once the tide goes out and everyone realizes that everyone else is watching as much porn as we are, it makes us less bashful about personal habits. People are thus more inclines to look at porn more often on their devices and be honest and what we’re looking at.

 

What’s Next?

It’s hard to tell what’s next. A lot of time, money and effort is being put into VR. Many porn sites are promoting their chat rooms where users can interact directly with individual porn actors and pay for certain types of shows. Sex toys have more technology than ever.

The newest toys can connect to mobile devices via Bluetooth, so it’s not impossible to envision interactive porn that connects to a toy like a vibrator. That will make porn and phone/video chat sex with your partner while you’re away on business a lot more interesting, no?

Whatever happens, you can expect the adult industry to be there at the cutting edge wherever technology goes. 

 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

How to be good in bed

How To Be Good In Bed and Set Up The Bedroom

How To Be Good In Bed and Set Up The Bedroom

 

So you want to learn how to be good in bed?

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of being good in bed.

In this video, I’ll teach you how to be good in bed,set the scene, and show up ready, even if you are anxious.

In no time, you’ll take my advice to use on how to be good in bed for yourself or for partners!

My tips for how to be good in bed will surely enlighten you on how to create a more adventurous and pleasure-focused sex life for you and your partner(s)!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to how to be good in bed!

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

THE SEX HEALER Spotify Playlist:

spotify:playlist:4NaV31cpo60BqEiBSsHMjU

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

HOW TO GET OVER SEXUAL ANXIETY FOR MEN

VIDEO ON COMMUNICATING YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES!

EXCLUSIVE INFORMATION ON THE G-SPOT

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

shameless sex

Shameless Sex

Shameless Sex

 

There’s no doubt about it, shameless sex is complex. 

Sex can range from a random fling with someone you met online to intimacy that creates the deepest connection possible.. 

No matter what kind of sex you’re having, there’s often a lot of emotion involved. Even the “casual sex” you think you’re having has something deeper at work.

Whether it’s a want for connection, a desire to outwardly express love, for kicks (or even revenge), sex is about more than just the act of genitals. 

We’re driven by a need to fill a part of us emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically through the “feel-good hormones” that get pumped into our body after lustful, intimate, or sexual connection. 

After sex sometimes feels complicated. 

Have you ever sat and thought about how you’re feeling after sex? 

Unfortunately, a lot of people, for several reasons, feel shame during and after sex. Shame can be a debilitating condition that hampers your ability to enjoy sex and experience everything it can give you.

 

How Sex Education Impacts Our Attitudes About Intimacy

It’s normal for all of us to have grown up in a more conservative environment than the one in which we live now. People’s ideas about morality and sex become more open as they expose themselves to new ideas. It takes time to overcome and discard the narrow thinking of the past.

You may have grown up in a conservative religious home where sex was taboo and not a conversation to be discussed. Abstinence may have been the only option, so you learned to view sex as forbidden. 

The people in your immediate circle – your parents, friends, mentors, and teachers – are more likely to have shared similar beliefs, so there wasn’t much in the way of information to be had.

Without proper preparation, you may not have been ready when you started to encounter sex. Sexual thoughts and acts may have been something you kept in secret. 

Many religious people grow up having to hide even masturbation, something we know now is normal and almost completely universal.

When we associate sex with something bad or shameful, it warps our ability to connect and on a much more basic level enjoy sex! 

It can take years of therapy and so many ups and downs to overcome the feelings of guilt and shame we carried for years.

 

The Difference Between Shame and Guilt

We need to make a distinction here that shame does not equal guilt. They often get bunched together, but they’re very different.

shameless sex

Guilt can be a positive emotion because it helps us adapt and correct harmful or detrimental behavior. It can drive us to become better and push us away from negativity. 

Shame, on the other hand, isn’t a helpful emotion. 

With shame, we veer into the territory of letting our mistakes or something bad that’s happened to us define who we are. Instead of recognizing something we did was bad, we become bad.

Shame can be debilitating. It can trigger anxiety that affects the way we think and interact with those around us. If you’ve struggled with shame in the past, there’s a good chance you’ve struggled with shame in the bed as well.

 

The Baggage We All Carry

The moment we realize that every person we have sex, and every time we have sex, we carry with us certain attitudes and thoughts about who we are and what we’re doing. Baggage can range from something horrible like childhood or sexual trauma to other issues like poor body image.

So often, we let baggage define us. It’s who we feel we are deep inside despite whatever image we project to a one-night stand or our committed partners. Overcoming baggage and identifying shame is so important to enjoying sex. Whether you’re trying to simply have fun and get off, or you long for meaningful eye contact as you make passionate love to someone you love, shedding the shame can give you the permission you need to let loose and enjoy sex.

 

Shameless Sex Through Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a gigantic step we can all take to drop our baggage approach sex more positively. After all, isn’t it time you cut yourself a break?

We tend to take things so seriously, even sex. Have you ever been in bed and listened to some of the negative thoughts that seem to race through your head? “Is he disappointed in my body?” “I’m worried I won’t be able to orgasm.” “Why am I so tense?” When we’re having what should be an amazing experience, we’re busy shooting ourselves down.

Self-compassion, on a very basic level, means cutting yourself a break! Instead of letting the way you feel define you as a person, you put them in a box labeled just what they are, “something you experienced once”. It’s a practice during which we focus on forgiving ourselves for whatever we did or happened to us.

 

Rejecting Shame and Embracing Shameless Sex

If you have trouble relaxing during sex or feel shame about your body, then reading this article isn’t going to solve your problem. You know by now that shame isn’t something you abandon. It’s usually buried deep and digging it up takes work.

Working with a licensed therapist can help you recognize shame and other detrimental emotions that prevent you from enjoying sex and other aspects of your life.

Don’t worry, you’re here because you know sex should be fun and something enjoyable.

Shameless sex is something a lot of us aspire to and are working earnestly towards. Stop thinking that something is wrong with you and that one magic day all of your problems and shame around sexual issues will disappear.

Experiencing shameless sex starts with the desire to get better.

Shameless sex for people who have wrestled with shame in the past is something we’re constantly working on. We learn how to forgive ourselves for being human and maybe even laugh at ourselves once in a while. It’s all part of the process of approaching sex is a more realistic, positive way.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

50 shades

Sex Therapist Brings 50 Shades to Your Bedroom

Sex Therapist Brings 50 Shades to Your Bedroom

 

So you have read the 50 Shades books, and have you had anyone bring Christian Grey to your bedroom? 

Well, I can. Almost! 

  • Date night because Valentine’s Day isn’t over after February 14! Treat 1 day every week like it’s Valentine’s Day for your sweetie. Why? Because giving gifts – whether it be yourself or a present – is sexy! Go mark it ok your calendar now. Pick a sexy day for you and your partner every week! I personally like Fridays. 

  • Teach him the ropes – yes, literally ropes. You’ll love me for this… learn to tie a square knot. It’s easy and it will take you to the next level. Check my YouTube page

  • Blindfolds – utilize an old shirt, the free blindfolds they give on airplanes, or a scarf and ask your partner to blindfold you before having sex. You will be amazed at how different your thoughts are when you can’t see! Trust me… try it.

  • Use the power of suggestion – each day, use a word such as “pleasure” or “indulge” in your conversations via text or phone. Then when you see him in person, say the word “pleasure” or “indulge” while grabbing his arm or grazing his side. 

  • Sexy stories – Suggest that you write an erotic story together. Once your partner agrees, you start by writing the first paragraph. 

  • Make it a paragraph from a 50 Shades scene! Your partner writes a paragraph the next day. 

  • This way, you two are learning each other’s specific giving and receiving desires. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

free couples therapy tips

What are the 5 love languages Sexual Satisfaction!? 

What are the 5 love languages Sexual Satisfaction!? 

 

The 5 Love Languages are part of the key for developing strategies you need to guarantee your Sexual Satisfaction!

So, today, we will answer how to use your five love languages quiz answers for sexual satisfaction. 

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining us in this topic of the five love languages! 

In this video, I’ll be answering: what are the five love languages and how to use the 5 love languages to have your sex and love life last. Moreover, I will answer your questions about the love languages for sexual satisfaction.

 

We hope you will take some of this advice to use for your own sexual fun with the love languages! 

My tips will hopefully break through months or years of stuckness in strategies to get sexual connection with the use of the 5 love languages quiz. 

Cannot wait for you to learn how to use the 5 Love Languages Summary to get the sex you want 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

 

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from the 5 love languages, feel free to share it. 

Interested in starting your journey? Start your journey.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Perfect Sex Getaway

Secrets to Your Perfect Sex Getaway

Secrets to Your Perfect Sex Getaway

 

Long-time couples know the power of a sex getaway all too well. You’re not worried about the headboard slamming against the wall waking the kids up. 

It’s a chance to let loose and moan a little louder. Sex getaways are also the best way to shake free of the “Wednesday night sex routine” rut we all run into from time to time.

The sex getaway is also the perfect way to level up with someone you’ve just started dating. If you feel like you want to try something new or mess around with some ideas in the sack, then the getaway is the best way to let your partner know.

Don’t take things for granted and think that your partner will know what’s going on just because you booked a nice hotel room for the weekend. You’ve got to do more work to make sure things go off smoothly.

Take some time and plan the sex getaway. Here are a few tips you can try to have some of the best sex of your life.

 

Your Sexual Itinerary

Planning a sex getaway with your partner is a big opportunity because it gives you both the space to explore. You’re taken out of the day to day environment where you’re stressed about work, kids’ activities, or the finances.

Don’t leave things up to chance, though. Put some thought into what you want to accomplish and experience while the two of you are alone. You can make it like a mini sexual workshop where you can try new things and get to know each other more deeply.

Set up a playbook that lists the days’ activities. For example, you can start by arranging to meet at a nice restaurant separately and have fun with a bit of roleplaying. You and your partner can list out new products like lubes, vibrators, or handcuffs that you want to try out. Work in some sensual activities like massaging each other when you’re not having sex.

 

Let the Beat Build

On your sex getaway or your first one at least, start slowly to build a foundation. If you’ve been married for years and have never had anal sex, it will catch your partner off guard if you walk into the hotel room and announce your intentions to attack their behind.

Instead, start with the basic positions and sexual interplay you’re both used to. The first time you have sex will already be more fun and interesting because you’re in a new setting. Make sure you compliment your partner and encourage them to move here, a kiss there, and get comfortable expressing themselves. That will help rev things up for later on in the trip.

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Push the Boundaries

Look, everyone has sexual fantasies. It’s all about how comfortable we are expressing them. When we’re in the throes of our busy lives, it’s easy to just blow off our deep thoughts about sex because we think we have more important things to worry about. 

After all, the sex we’re having already is pretty great anyway, right?

A sex getaway gives you the chance to level up and push the boundaries of you and your partner’s sexual relationship. Sex is one of the most fulfilling pieces of any bond between people. The closer you become in your intimacy, it will play out in other aspects of your relationship and life!

Use the getaway to try out new positions, power dynamics, and whatever else is your fancy. The getaway creates a safe space where you can try new things and see if they work for you. If not, then hey, they can be left behind in the hotel room after you leave.

 

Perfect Sex GetawayUse Your Imagination to Create Scenarios

Everyone loves a weekend at the Four Seasons and boozy brunch with their lover. If you book the upscale sex getaway, you’re going to score some major points for sure. However, it doesn’t have to be the same thing all the time. The next thing you know, you’ll be in the sex getaway rut just like your sex routine at home!

Use the sex getaway to craft specific scenarios that can play out and let your sexual imagination fly. Try whatever has the best chance to shake you from the tried and true positions and interplay with your partner. If you’re in the city, book a weekend ranch getaway where you can pretend to be ranch hands. Go out of town further and role play that you’re having an illicit affair.

Each scenario will be driven by you and your partner’s sexual fantasies. Remember, some people dream about getting bent over a rickety bed in a seedy motel along the freeway. Rose petals in the jacuzzi tub and Moet are great yet not for everyone all the time.

 

Pick Up the Pace A Bit – No Excuses!

Make sure a sex getaway is just that. Have all the trips to Miami on the weekend you can manage. We’re not trying to tell you that you can’t have normal vacations. This shouldn’t be one of them, though.

And don’t let how long you’ve been married or your age slow you down. “But we’re good with sex once a week” you might say. That’s fine, and do your best to let your sex getaway be mainly about sex! Yes – I said sex! 

Whatever your normal frequency is, try to pump things up a bit on your getaway to get the romantic juices flowing and give yourselves a boost going forward.

When you’re not knocking boots, fill your time with touch and intimate communication. Learn more about yourself and your partner’s sexual desires so you can have a more fulfilled intimate relationship when it’s time to go home.

Remember, small details will make a huge difference. Make sure you have a sex playlist on your phone to plug in when things start steaming up. Share the itinerary with your partner so they know what’s in store, and let them help plan the trip if that’s what they’re into. The sex getaway can be your gateway into incredible sex more often.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

good in bed

Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

 

There’s no one “magic secret” on how to be good in bed – there are many!

The best lovers are made, not created. 

Sex therapists get asked all the time how their clients can be better in bed. That’s like walking into a behavioral therapist and demanding, “Fix what’s wrong with me!” It doesn’t work like that.

All of us want to be better in bed. Hopefully, all of us do. 

Wanting to feel better, please your partner, last longer, experiment, have fun, and read the intimate mood better is a great desire. 

We can only hope that we come in contact with people like that in our lives. 

But getting good in bed, or having sex skills, if you will, takes work.

And that’s good news! Sex, like anything worth doing, is worth doing well. 

To master something as intricate as sex, with its innuendos, different turn-ons, hormones, and moods can be a lifelong pursuit. Also, everyone’s different. 

Each of us has different emotional and physical desires; we are all on a sexual spectrum. What you like during sex can be different from someone else’s. 

What’s crazier, is that what you like during sex with one person can completely change from day to day!

 

Touch Here Kiss There

good in bed

I know we just got done telling you there aren’t any black and white answers to getting better in bed. Let’s just caveat this a bit. In general, if you rub a penis long gently, it will feel good. Apply a tongue to a clitoris, and yes, people will usually say it gives them a pleasant feeling.

To be good in bed, it’s sort of expected that you do some homework and generally, you understand the sexual anatomy and pleasure zones of the body you’re trying to please. 

There are plenty of how-to guides, some of them on our site, on how to perform good oral sex, the anatomy of sexual organs, and other basics.

Don’t let basic fool you! Just because you know what a blowjob looks like and have done it once, doesn’t mean you’re a master. Practice makes perfect in sex as in everything else in life. Jump in and give things a try.

Whether with one partner, many partners, or yourself, become as familiar as you can with bodies and what you can do to make them feel good.

 

Don’t Be Scared to Act a Fool

Unless you’re completely uncomfortable with something, recognize that the only way you’re going to get good is to realize you’re not right now. 

If you’ve never had anal sex and your partner is begging for it, don’t let your inexperience deter you.

Everyone’s made a fool of themselves during sex. Bodies make noises, they look silly sometimes, we try moves but don’t quite pull them off. 

No, you may not want to go for that one crazy move you say online on the first date, but maybe by the third, you can give it a shot!

 

Start Slow Build from There

If we’re honest, if we’re REALLY honest with ourselves, we all know there’s some kink inside of each of us. We are all a bit freaky. Some of us have fetishes we’d never tell our closest platonic friends. 

Sex is where we get to pull the curtain back a bit on our sexual desires. It’s where we and our partners (hopefully!) get to truly express ourselves.

Psychosexual therapy

Great sex always involves a measure of playful kink. Whether you’re into dirty talking, role-playing, or light BDSM, we all have that thing that can turn good sex into great sex. 

You probably still think about that one time with that one person where they did that thing and it sent your eyes rolling in the back of your head. 

Sometimes though, this person can do the same thing on a different day, and you aren’t feeling it!

Finding fantastic sex and getting better in bed can certainly be helped by encouraging open expression in the bedroom. Not only do you need to feel comfortable enough to initiate a sixty-nine, but you have to be the kind of person that makes your partner comfortable as well. The best way to go about that is to start small and build from there.

A lot of times, when sex happens, it’s an act of feeling each other out. Most of that’s literal, but there’s a good deal of emotional feeling out as well. They want to know if you’re the kind of person they can be themselves around and vice versa. It may not be the best idea to ask your partner to slip on that police officer outfit the first time they’re in your bedroom. It can be a shock.

What you need to do, though, is start small and create a comfort zone. “You’re a bad girl!” may not be the best opener if you’re into dirty talk. Instead, start small.

Something like “You’re so hot!” is a bit more watered down. If your partner responds with, “I love it when you lick me there”, then you’re in business! You can level up until you and your partner feel like you can let your kink flag fly. That’s when the real fun begins.

 

Great Sex is Often About Compatibility

You can be with partners that tell you that you’re amazing in bed. You’re incredible, have other-worldly stamina, and a fantastic body. It’s an incredible feeling to be with someone who validates you and encourages you sexually.

What’s weird, though, is that when you’re with another partner down the line, you try the same things and the results aren’t the same. Sex, indeed, great sex, has a lot to do with personal compatibility. We’ve all felt it.

Good in bed

There are just some people we’re around where there’s a palpable sexual connection. Other times, we force the sexual connection. According to a 2013 article The impact of sexual compatibility on sexual and relationship satisfaction in a sample of young adult heterosexual couples, it said that:

The strongest predictor of sexual satisfaction, after accounting for relationship satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility. Similarly, the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction, after accounting for sexual satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility.

This is absolutely not to say that if sex isn’t great now, it never will be. You just have to be willing to do the work to make it great. That includes frank discussions about what you want/need sexually, and what your partner needs as well. There’s nothing wrong with sexual feedback sessions.

When giving or soliciting feedback, avoid negatives. Start by accentuating the positives. “I really liked it when you did that…”, or “Oh my god when you started doing that it was incredible.” That will help your partner clue in on what you want. On the other hand, you can also actively seek feedback on how you’re doing. It may be a bit much to get live feedback while you’re having sex but take note of responsive cues from your partner when you touch them or kiss them a certain way.

Getting good at sex takes work. It’s probably the most fun work you’ll ever do, though. Start small, take some chances, and try new things! Life’s too short to get caught up in insecurities over how we look. Remember, practice makes perfect, so get out there and practice!

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Psychosexual therapy

Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

 

Psychosexual therapy exercises are one of the most common reasons people come to sex therapy!

Power dynamics can play a role in our intimate relationships, yet that’s not to say that power dynamics are static. They are fluid and change as we change and become different people. Sometimes we are the mentor, and sometimes we need to be the one being mentored. Sometimes we want to be led, and other times we want to chart the path.

In every relationship, there is an exchange. It begins during the courtship process, where we attract potential partners with our inclination to show empathy, our lovemaking abilities, or our ability to provide and protect.

If you’re honest, you know what we mean. In every relationship, there’s an exchange that goes on. It may be physical or emotional, but you are essentially giving something for something else in return. You may be giving it graciously, but you’re giving and receiving, nonetheless.

That’s one of the reasons there is a persistent fear of sex work. Buried underneath our fear or proclaimed disapproval of sex work is knowing that there is always a rate of exchange in all relationships.

 

The Relationship Corporation

Remember the last time you fell in love? Or the first time? It’s an amazing feeling, hard to explain, but oh so incredible. If someone asked you “why?” about the person you love, you’d probably let out a sigh and think of the words to explain something so hard to verbalize.

Love is unconditional. Relationships, on the other hand, take agreements. Think about it. You might fall in love with someone who currently has no job, but would you stay with them if they never planned on ever getting one?

Your demands for equitable exchange become more evident as you start developing a committed relationship. There are certain things you want, and certain things you are willing to give. Some things you can’t live without, and others you can let slide. It’s all a process of getting your needs met and finding someone you care enough about to meet their needs. 

 

 

How Exchange Leads to a Fulfilling Sex Life 

Money and sex. These two issues are what the vast majority of couples talk about with therapists all over the world. They’re the main driver for divorce and have destroyed many a marriage or partnership.

If you think about it, the underlying reason so many people struggle with sex is that they feel there is an unfair exchange dynamic in their relationship. Whether you want more sex, better sex, or less sex, if you and your partner aren’t on the same page, or don’t work to improve any incompatibilities, it can spell trouble.

While there is something to be said for being sexually compatible with your partner, some people grow into their sexual potential. Here are some psychosexual exercises you can do to create a more fulfilling sex life and ultimately a better relationship with your partner.

 

Create a Connection Through Eye Contact:

When was the last time you held eye contact with your partner for a long period? When was the last time you did it while you were having sex? Holding eye contact can be incredibly uncomfortable at first. You may feel silly or vulnerable. After you get past the awkward stage, however, you are transported to a place of deep connection.

Psychosexual therapy

 

Tap the Oxytocin Well:

Oxytocin is a hormone in your brain that drives bonding and sexual reproduction. When you’re trying to create a better sexual relationship with your partner, you must understand what drives their oxytocin release. Frequently, touching, relaxing, and orgasms trigger the release of oxytocin.

Spend the time necessary to find out how your partner likes to be touched, what they like when you’re making love, and what to avoid.

 

Give a Massage:

Giving a sensual massage is a wonderful way to relax the body. When you’re in a relaxed state, your breathing is more centered, you’re more in tune with your body, and you’re more open to intimacy.

Give your partner a sensual massage by spending about an hour massaging their body. Use the time to help them relax muscles in the back, shoulders, and neck, but also focus on intimate areas like the inner thighs and butt cheeks. Massage by circling into those areas and then moving away. Repeat that a few times. You’ll gradually increase your partner’s anticipation and it can be a bit of fun teasing before sex. 

 

Eradicate Anxiety:

Nervousness inhibits sexual performance. It can be harder to get an erection, climax, or just plain relax and enjoy yourself. Whenever you feel intense feelings of shame, fear, or anxiety, your brain and body enter fight or flight mode. It releases adrenaline which triggers blood flow away from extremities and your genitals. That means it’s harder to become aroused. When you’re relaxed, your parasympathetic system is in overdrive, pushing blood to your genitals and increasing arousal.

It’s important to note that there’s no, “It’s just me” here. People who are anxious or nervous dealing with sex aren’t facing some simplistic mental block. They’re also dealing with physiological issues. Overcoming them takes time and working with a sex therapist can help. 

 

Consent & Choice!

The sex exchange isn’t just about when two people agree to offer and receive sex. A lot of the time, what happens during sex is also up for negotiation. You might have a particular fantasy or want to dress a certain way. Your partner may want to introduce toys or other sex aids into the picture.

You might have the desire to spank, hair pull, or try some BDSM. This is something you can negotiate together. For example, if I want my butt slapped, I would negotiate with my partner a situation where I can calibrate where I want to be touched, the intensity rating on a (1-10), and the type of hit I am looking for.

I would tap and then they can spank. I would rate it as a number (for example a 5) and then say I was looking for something more intense, and can I get their version of a 7. Then I would tap, and they would spank at a 7.

Being free to express yourself sexually is one of the best things about being in a committed relationship with a partner you can trust.

Consent and choice are not only about negotiating a sexual fantasy. Some people struggle with intimacy because they have a history of trauma. This changes the picture. They may be dealing with past abuse, strict religious morality, and other inhibitions that make sexual expression a struggle.

One of the antidotes to trauma and abuse is CONTROL and CHOICE. I’ve found that being able to negotiate the terms of sexual encounters with our partners, and using the above psychosexual exercises, can help you overcome inhibitions and become ok with sexual expression. 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Reverse Cowgirl

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

 

For all of you adventurers out there, it’s time to explore the reverse cowgirl position!

Who says you need to ride bareback when you can ride reverse cowgirl?

The feedback on this position is very polarized.

Some people love this position and others hate it.

If you WANT to be better at Reverse Cowgirl, the following article is a collaboration between a Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Personal Trainer!

reverse cowgirl

 

Pascale Lean is a certified Personal Trainer,

Health Coach, Weight Management,

Behavior Change and Functional Training Specialist.

 

Check out her website!

 

Get your quads ready! The Reverse Cowgirl position can be strenuous on your quads, so it’s a good idea to stretch beforehand.

Fitness Tips for the Person on Top:

  • Improve your flexibility with stretching! 
    • Lay on your stomach, then bend your right leg. Grab your right foot with your right hand, and slightly pull your foot towards your butt. Hold for 30 – 60 seconds, then switch sides. 
    • We recommend asking your partner to give you a back massage while stretching.
  • Strengthen your core and lower body muscles for better endurance. 
    • Bodyweight exercises like squats, walking lunges and hip bridges are most effective. 
    • Start with three sets of 12 reps every other day.

 

More Tips: 

  • Some people indicate that reverse cowgirl is nice for intimately connecting during penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
  • Focus on the connection, especially if the partners are both seated upright, looking at something visually pleasing together. 
  • The one on the bottom of the reverse cowgirl needs to help the one on top! It takes some coordination.
  • Make sure you have a good rhythm going.
  • Don’t be hesitant to discuss if it isn’t working mid position. 

 

Benefits:

  • Despite the gendered name, reverse cowgirl can be used between same sex couples.
  • It provides a fun and unique view! 
  • Clear communication is needed between the partners to improve the pleasure benefits of the position. 
  • When in the rhythm, the position can sometimes allow for the partner on top to self-pleasure with one hand. Opening up access to the clitoris allows for the possibility of manual stimulation. 
  • Many women who are pregnant report that this is an accessible position for their bellies. 

Now go try the Reverse Cowgirl sex position!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Christmas sex

Why Christmas Sex is So Good

Why Christmas Sex is So Good

 

Even when people get stressed with all of the parties, the family drama and everything else, Christmas sex is one hell of a way to blow off some steam.

Christmas is a fantastic time for sex. People are in great moods, there’s a romance in the air with all of the wonderful holiday tunes and is a great time for intimate gift giving.

If you’re like us, you start to get into the holiday spirit right as December rolls around. That way, you have more fun to enjoy everything there is to love about Christmas and all the other winter holidays.

But this is a blog about intimacy, right? What’s that got to do with Christmas and feeling some holiday cheer. Well, we’re here to tell you that Christmas is a great time for love and holiday cheer shouldn’t be the only thing you’re feeling this month.

Here are some of the best reasons why Christmas sex is so good.

 

There’s Something in the Air

Unless you’re a total scrooge, you probably love the end of year holidays. As we move through December and into January, it’s a time of reflection about the year that has gone by. We feel gratitude for the people in our lives who mean so much, and we start planning how we’re going to take over in 2020.

Christmas Sex

One of the absolute best ways to show someone you care is to capitalize on the nostalgia and romance in the air with some amazing sex. If you’re in a committed relationship, Christmas sex can be about deep connections.

If you’re single, just know that other people are feeling the same draw to people around them that you are. There’s never a better time to shoot your shot. Take a chance and ask out your secret crush or that person you’ve noticed you have incredible chemistry with. You never know, you could soon be having some of the best Christmas sex of your life.

The holidays are all about showing love and receiving love. Make sure to show that special someone in your life how much you love them this Christmas.

 

Christmas Sex is Better than Yoga

Ok, so this might depend on if you LOVE yoga, but Christmas sex is one of the best stress relievers out there. When you get wound up with all the celebrating, driving, gift buying, and other activities, lock the doors so you and your partner can get a healthy sweat in. 

It’s easy for some people to get overwhelmed during Christmas. A lot is going on. Just remember to make time for yourself and your partner. Don’t neglect intimacy because you’ve got a million things on your to-do list.

Making Christmas sex a priority can turn into some of the best sex of your life! With so much built-up tension, it’s bound to play out in the bedroom or wherever you decide to let it all out. Focus the stress and channel it into the passion between you and your lover.

 

Giving Gifts in Private can be More Fun

Giving presents is one of the best perks of the holiday season. Not only is it fun to splurge a bit for the people you love, but it’s a great way to show family and friends how much you care.

Christmas is also the perfect time to give your partner something a bit spicier. When all the presents in the living room are opened, take your special someone aside and give them a gift for both of you. 

Sexy Gifts

Here are some naughty gift ideas:

  • Lingerie
  • A stack of cards that can be turned in for sexual favors
  • High-end massage oils
  • A weekend getaway without the kids
  • A vibrator or some other sex toy

Whether it’s a vibrator or some fancy handcuffs, it’ll send a clear message that you want to keep things steamy. Remember, these gifts are really for two. Hopefully, you’ll find yourself in some crazy Christmas sex before too long.

 

The Kids are Preoccupied

If you have small kids, it’s hard to find time for sex. Even older kids can make love making tough. They likely know what locked doors and noises coming from the bedroom mean. With kids, a lot of couples find that sex becomes a routine. It’s something that can only happen after kids’ teeth have been brushed and bedtime is over.

When it’s Christmas, though, you have a shot at spontaneous sex that you probably haven’t had all year. Kids are busy playing with toys, watching Christmas movies, or hanging out with friends while school is out. Don’t waste this precious opportunity! Have all the morning and afternoon sex you can. Do it in the dining room, in the laundry room, wherever.

Couples can capitalize on holiday distractions to have tremendous sex. Changing up the timing and the routine is sometimes all it takes to breathe new life into your sex life.

 

Keep It Hot Indoors While It’s Snowing Outside

In a lot of places, it’s freezing at Christmas. People are stuck indoors because it’s brutal outside. Sometimes people complain that winters are rough because they can get out and run, the days are shorter because the sun’s up less, and as a result, people can get a bit melancholy.

Christmas Sex

Use Christmas sex to beat back the winter blues. If you’re lucky enough to have a fireplace, get a fire going and set the mood. Pour some wine and turn on some music. Get close to your partner and make it happen.

Listen, there’s a reason September is the most popular birth month. In a 2017 Time article, it said that researchers at Harvard University found that between 1973 and 1999, the most common birthday was September 16. 

Yep, you guessed it, that’s nine months after Christmas

People love Christmas sex so much they’ve been using the holidays to make babies for decades.

When it’s cold outside and you feel a bit bored, there’s nothing better than some amazing Christmas sex to get you feeling right.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.