Behind the Sex Therapy Scenes! I Caught My Wife Masturbating!

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Behind the Sex Therapy Scenes! I Caught My Wife Masturbating! 

 

“Help! I caught my wife masturbating!”

Even though we are living in the most open society ever when it comes to sexuality, we still live with so many taboos. 

Our fetishes have to live in this weird world of moving boundaries, where one minute you’re being sexually expressive, and the next minute you’re labeled as a freak. Even freaks can be good, up to a point, right? When and where we draw these implicit lines are complex and sometimes silly.

Have you ever been caught masturbating? There you were, feeling some kinda way all by yourself. Maybe you caught a hot scene in a movie, or an old crush flashed through your brain. The next thing you know you’re in your room doing your thing and Wham!, the door swings open.

I Caught My Wife Masturbating!

You shuffle your pants around or dive onto your side to face away, but your reaction probably made whatever you were doing way more obvious. It’s happened to so many of us, mostly in childhood, that we still to this day carry complex feelings of shame, embarrassment, and even guilt around jerking off.

 

What Is It About Self-Touch that makes it feel like “Too Much?”

Most have tried it, and of those who have tried, the majority continue to DO it, so what’s the big deal about self-touch feeling like too much?  

Why specifically is there so much embarrassment when it comes to catching your wife masturbating? 

Thanks to so many scenes in comedies and enough high-profile celebrity masturbation scandals, men catch a break on yanking it more than women do.

For reasons that stem back centuries, the idea of your wife or female partner self-pleasuring can come as a shock. 

Women’s pleasure has come a long way since the idea that their main purpose is to OFFER sexual pleasure and carry children, yet there’s still a lot of stigma tied up in the way we please ourselves.

If you’re here reading this and you haven’t caught your wife masturbating YET, first realize that she probably enjoys masturbation (maybe even as much as you do if you engage in self-touch).

How often she does it, where, and to what is her business. If she feels like telling you, that’s her prerogative and it would be a great way to introduce more trust in your relationship if you approach the conversation with curiosity instead of criticism or embarrassment. 

 

Catching Your Wife in the Act

If you’re together long enough, odds are you’re going to catch your wife engaging in a bit of one on one time at some point. You might walk in on her taking a bath or come home from work early one day to find her in her pleasure. 

Some people I speak with come to sex therapy with a lot of shame and embarrassment that catching their spouse masturbating is some sort of betrayal. 

I often like to bring up the point that consent and communication prior to being “caught” is ideal. 

For those of you who believe that all sexual encounters should involve the two of you, I would have you wonder if you hold yourself to that same standard and WHERE did this standard originate? 

Catching your wife masturbating does not have to be the end of your sexual life. It can be the beginning of opening a door to deeper discussions about sensual and sexual pleasure. 

 

How to Stop the Embarrassment After Catching Someone Masturbating

 

Here’s some food for thought on how you can handle the situation.

Prep Yourself – Repeat after me, “There’s nothing wrong with masturbation.” There you go. That’s the mindset you need. It will serve you well in dealing with your own sexuality, your wife’s sexual expression, and if you ever decide to have kids.

When you understand that there’s nothing to be ashamed of related to self-pleasure, then you’ll handle the situation much better.

Mind Your Manners – If you do catch your wife masturbating, treat the situation appropriately. Hopefully, your wife isn’t embarrassed about having sex with you, yet if your friend or family member walked in, the two of you might feel slightly embarrassed.

That’s because engaging in sexual acts – even masturbation – involves opening oneself up to vulnerability. You have to let your guard down to relax enough to accomplish the mission before you, so naturally, getting caught masturbating will be a little startling.

I Caught My Wife Masturbating!

The best thing you do if you come across your wife, or anyone else for that matter, masturbating, is to be accountable and then find somewhere else to go, as soon as possible. I suggest going to take a shower and meditating to center yourself. 

Don’t sit yourself down next to her to talk about it. Give her some space, as you intruded on an activity between her and her body.

Follow up later on with another apology and leave it at that. You might also try to make light of the situation. If masturbation isn’t something the two of you have discussed, she might feel a bit awkward.

Drop a light-hearted line about how you are glad she is experiencing pleasure and move on. It’ll break the ice in a way that lets you both know it’s not a big deal.

Follow Her Cues – Any discussion about masturbation and self-pleasure going forward can be on her terms. Let her bring it up. 

Don’t think for a second that it’s on you to discuss or that there’s some issue to resolve. Keep your emotional responses to yourself, because I suggest that they are about you, and wait for her to talk about it – if she wants. 

Be Encouraging – Masturbation can be a healthy behavior. It’s a wonderful way for people to be mindful about their own bodies, relieve stress, and find out accurately some of the ways that they like to be touched.

If anything, you can be GLAD you caught your wife masturbating!

I Caught My Wife Masturbating

Therapists deal with couples all the time that are sexually frustrated. 

For any number of reasons, wives struggle to feel comfortable with their bodies and being touched with a partner; because they have their ways they like to be touched and pleased as well. 

Many women have guilt about taking 20-30 minutes to achieve an orgasm, and more wives than I care to mention associate feeling aroused with something to be shameful about. 

Sometimes, it also takes one partner a longer time to get into the mood because they are more focused on the emotional labor of the home or the relationship.

 

Open the Doors to More Sexual Exploration

Now, if the stars align, your wife may want to talk about masturbation. You have two choices. First, you can feel insecure that your wife is self-pleasuring and take that as some personal affront on your sexuality and the bond the two of you have. That route is ridiculous and will get you nowhere.

Second, you can use the conversation – remember, started by your wife – to open your relationship up to greater sexual experiences.

If you choose correctly, not only will your wife feel better about herself sexually, but she’ll also be more inclined to include you and open up to you when it comes to sex.

Plenty of couples masturbate together, watch each other masturbate, or feed their partner’s masturbation with scintillating texts, pictures, and videos. Your wife may start to feel more comfortable masturbating during sex.

If you find yourself on the road traveling, your wife might be more inclined to engage in some phone sex. Anything you can do to make your wife more comfortable touching herself and feeling sexy is the right decision. 

 

Start your journey here

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

 

video chat therapy

Video Chat Therapy Bringing Therapists to You

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Video Chat Therapy Bringing Therapists to You

 

Anyone who’s been to a therapist session generally becomes a therapy evangelist and we continue this by bringing Video Chat Therapy to you! 

You tell all your friends how great it is to have someone trained to listen and guide you through past trauma, marital issues, and sex therapy. Opening up and working through problems is a freeing process that, unfortunately, too few people know.

The initial meeting with a therapist is the hardest part. Once you make an appointment, you start a journey of exploration and healing that often is not possible alone. 

Some people, for several reasons, are hesitant to meet and talk with therapists.

Therapists are responding to client concerns and increasing their outreach by making video chat therapy sessions available to everyone. 

Now, practices around the country, and the world, are meeting with clients via video conference. They’re talking to them when they’re on vacation and work trips. 

They’ll meet with you if you’re more comfortable in the privacy of your home.

There’s a lot to consider when you’re looking for a therapist or thinking about starting sessions. Video conference capability is just one more piece of the puzzle. Here we discuss some of the main benefits of video therapy sessions and why they may work for you.

Video Chat Therapy

 

If You’re Apprehensive About Meeting

It’s perfectly understandable why you might feel anxious about going to see a therapist. I mean, we’ve all been there. For most of us, the first few times we walk into our therapist’s office can be uncomfortable. “Will I see someone I know there?” “How can I simply open up about my feelings to a stranger?” These are all reasonable feelings to experience.

One of the great benefits of video chat therapy is that there’s a low barrier to entry. It’s easier to say yes to making an appointment, and you’ll enter the session more relaxed because you’re in your home, or someplace else comfortable. You might even feel it’s easier to open up to your therapist because you’re not physically face to face.

 

You Can Meet with a Therapist Earlier

Meeting over the phone or through a computer also prevents the issue of problems festering for too long. You don’t have to wait until you’re close to the edge to schedule an appointment with a therapist. So many couples walk through our door when they’re desperate. Whether they’re dealing with sex issues or struggling with money, too often they come in so frazzled that therapy is a last-ditch effort to salvage the relationship.

Video chat therapy

The ease with which you can meet with your therapist via video chat means you don’t have to wait until things get dire. You can reach out to them as soon as something comes up and deal with it appropriately before it grows into something larger.

 

You Might Have a Reluctant Partner

Say you’ve been meeting with a therapist for weeks or even years. By now, you’re probably a huge advocate of counseling and how it can help your development. But what about your partner?

Frequently, couples come into therapy sessions with one partner dragging the other in by their collar. For whatever reason, they may not be a believer. Perhaps they had a bad experience in the past that soured them to therapy. Maybe they did marriage counseling years ago but now they’re back where they were. Those feelings are also understandable.

You have to realize that every relationship ebbs and flows. Sometimes you’re the one keeping the two of you together, and sometimes your partner is picking you up off the floor. Video chat therapy is a great way to ease a reluctant partner in speaking with your counselor.

You can meet when you want, in a non-threatening environment. If tensions are running high, you can even three-way conference from separate locations.

 

Doing Your Research to Find the Right Therapist

If you’re in a state of panic or high-stress, you may be tempted to reach out to the closest, quickest therapist around. That works sometimes, but it can certainly backfire as well. Every therapist has a different background. They focus on different specialties and bring their own life experiences into their work. All of those factors will impact how things go in your sessions.

If you’re dealing with past trauma from serious childhood abuse, then a marriage counselor may not be the best fit. You need to spend time finding a therapist who is qualified to help you and work with you to manage what you’re dealing with.

You should also check to ensure therapists you’re considering are appropriately licensed and allowed to practice in your state. That’s a big issue with video chat therapy because it could present legal complexities if you’re living in a state where your therapist isn’t allowed to practice.

One thing a lot of practices do to help is conducting a brief written or verbal consultation to find out what you’re looking for. They also use this initial conversation to get an idea of your background, personality, and what kind of therapist would match well with you.

That’s a lot more personal of an approach than selecting someone off a website. You’ll come into the first session knowing that this person has been selected for you based on your stated criteria, and they’ll have a baseline understanding of what you need.

 

The Trend is Promising

Research suggests that video chat therapy is exposing more people to therapy and counseling help than ever before. Some popular video therapy practices report that the majority of their clients have never had counseling before. That means the fact that you can meet over video chat makes you more inclined to speak to a therapist and deal with stress, anxiety, or whatever else you’re managing.

At Life Coaching and Therapy, our clinicians are trained in systemic therapy and sex therapy! Every therapist has a Master’s or Doctoral degree in their field and is accredited by their state’s board, with at least 3 years and over 5,000 hours of clinical experience. Video chat therapy may be new to you yet with our professionalism, it will feel comfortable!

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Make an Appointment

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Male MASTURBATION Techniques

Sex Therapist ANSWERS “What is Edging” – Male MASTURBATION Techniques!

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Sex Therapist ANSWERS “What is Edging” Male MASTURBATION Techniques!

 

So you want to know how to get better at male masturbation techniques?

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of pleasure, learning the answer to “what is edging” and getting new male masturbation techniques!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to love your male masturbation, understand porn, answer “what is edging,” define factors that affect male masturbation, and teach you how to perfect your male masturbation techniques of edging and beyond, even if they are intimated! In no time, you’ll take my advice to use for your own male masturbation technique!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now!

Come Join Us By Clicking Below!

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE” HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success!

Watch now! HOW TO GET OVER SEXUAL ANXIETY FOR MEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNERd…

VIDEO ON COMMUNICATING YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbZX6…

EXCLUSIVE INFORMATION ON THE G-SPOT: https://youtu.be/uRzHrrwWBTk

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

Amanda Pasciucco has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, and Men’s Health. Learn the answer to “what is edging,” define factors that affect male masturbation,

good in bed

Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

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Sex Skills / How to Be Good in Bed

 

There’s no one “magic secret” on how to be good in bed – there are many!

The best lovers are made, not created. 

Sex therapists get asked all the time how their clients can be better in bed. That’s like walking into a behavioral therapist and demanding, “Fix what’s wrong with me!” It doesn’t work like that.

All of us want to be better in bed. Hopefully, all of us do. 

Wanting to feel better, please your partner, last longer, experiment, have fun, and read the intimate mood better is a great desire. 

We can only hope that we come in contact with people like that in our lives. 

But getting good in bed, or having sex skills, if you will, takes work.

And that’s good news! Sex, like anything worth doing, is worth doing well. 

To master something as intricate as sex, with its innuendos, different turn-ons, hormones, and moods can be a lifelong pursuit. Also, everyone’s different. 

Each of us has different emotional and physical desires; we are all on a sexual spectrum. What you like during sex can be different from someone else’s. 

What’s crazier, is that what you like during sex with one person can completely change from day to day!

 

Touch Here Kiss There

good in bed

I know we just got done telling you there aren’t any black and white answers to getting better in bed. Let’s just caveat this a bit. In general, if you rub a penis long gently, it will feel good. Apply a tongue to a clitoris, and yes, people will usually say it gives them a pleasant feeling.

To be good in bed, it’s sort of expected that you do some homework and generally, you understand the sexual anatomy and pleasure zones of the body you’re trying to please. 

There are plenty of how-to guides, some of them on our site, on how to perform good oral sex, the anatomy of sexual organs, and other basics.

Don’t let basic fool you! Just because you know what a blowjob looks like and have done it once, doesn’t mean you’re a master. Practice makes perfect in sex as in everything else in life. Jump in and give things a try.

Whether with one partner, many partners, or yourself, become as familiar as you can with bodies and what you can do to make them feel good.

 

Don’t Be Scared to Act a Fool

Unless you’re completely uncomfortable with something, recognize that the only way you’re going to get good is to realize you’re not right now. 

If you’ve never had anal sex and your partner is begging for it, don’t let your inexperience deter you.

Everyone’s made a fool of themselves during sex. Bodies make noises, they look silly sometimes, we try moves but don’t quite pull them off. 

No, you may not want to go for that one crazy move you say online on the first date, but maybe by the third, you can give it a shot!

 

Start Slow Build from There

If we’re honest, if we’re REALLY honest with ourselves, we all know there’s some kink inside of each of us. We are all a bit freaky. Some of us have fetishes we’d never tell our closest platonic friends. 

Sex is where we get to pull the curtain back a bit on our sexual desires. It’s where we and our partners (hopefully!) get to truly express ourselves.

Psychosexual therapy

Great sex always involves a measure of playful kink. Whether you’re into dirty talking, role-playing, or light BDSM, we all have that thing that can turn good sex into great sex. 

You probably still think about that one time with that one person where they did that thing and it sent your eyes rolling in the back of your head. 

Sometimes though, this person can do the same thing on a different day, and you aren’t feeling it!

Finding fantastic sex and getting better in bed can certainly be helped by encouraging open expression in the bedroom. Not only do you need to feel comfortable enough to initiate a sixty-nine, but you have to be the kind of person that makes your partner comfortable as well. The best way to go about that is to start small and build from there.

A lot of times, when sex happens, it’s an act of feeling each other out. Most of that’s literal, but there’s a good deal of emotional feeling out as well. They want to know if you’re the kind of person they can be themselves around and vice versa. It may not be the best idea to ask your partner to slip on that police officer outfit the first time they’re in your bedroom. It can be a shock.

What you need to do, though, is start small and create a comfort zone. “You’re a bad girl!” may not be the best opener if you’re into dirty talk. Instead, start small.

Something like “You’re so hot!” is a bit more watered down. If your partner responds with, “I love it when you lick me there”, then you’re in business! You can level up until you and your partner feel like you can let your kink flag fly. That’s when the real fun begins.

 

Great Sex is Often About Compatibility

You can be with partners that tell you that you’re amazing in bed. You’re incredible, have other-worldly stamina, and a fantastic body. It’s an incredible feeling to be with someone who validates you and encourages you sexually.

What’s weird, though, is that when you’re with another partner down the line, you try the same things and the results aren’t the same. Sex, indeed, great sex, has a lot to do with personal compatibility. We’ve all felt it.

Good in bed

There are just some people we’re around where there’s a palpable sexual connection. Other times, we force the sexual connection. According to a 2013 article The impact of sexual compatibility on sexual and relationship satisfaction in a sample of young adult heterosexual couples, it said that:

The strongest predictor of sexual satisfaction, after accounting for relationship satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility. Similarly, the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction, after accounting for sexual satisfaction, was perceived sexual compatibility.

This is absolutely not to say that if sex isn’t great now, it never will be. You just have to be willing to do the work to make it great. That includes frank discussions about what you want/need sexually, and what your partner needs as well. There’s nothing wrong with sexual feedback sessions.

When giving or soliciting feedback, avoid negatives. Start by accentuating the positives. “I really liked it when you did that…”, or “Oh my god when you started doing that it was incredible.” That will help your partner clue in on what you want. On the other hand, you can also actively seek feedback on how you’re doing. It may be a bit much to get live feedback while you’re having sex but take note of responsive cues from your partner when you touch them or kiss them a certain way.

Getting good at sex takes work. It’s probably the most fun work you’ll ever do, though. Start small, take some chances, and try new things! Life’s too short to get caught up in insecurities over how we look. Remember, practice makes perfect, so get out there and practice!

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Psychosexual therapy

Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

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Psychosexual Therapy Exercises

 

Psychosexual therapy exercises are one of the most common reasons people come to sex therapy!

Power dynamics can play a role in our intimate relationships, yet that’s not to say that power dynamics are static. They are fluid and change as we change and become different people. Sometimes we are the mentor, and sometimes we need to be the one being mentored. Sometimes we want to be led, and other times we want to chart the path.

In every relationship, there is an exchange. It begins during the courtship process, where we attract potential partners with our inclination to show empathy, our lovemaking abilities, or our ability to provide and protect.

If you’re honest, you know what we mean. In every relationship, there’s an exchange that goes on. It may be physical or emotional, but you are essentially giving something for something else in return. You may be giving it graciously, but you’re giving and receiving, nonetheless.

That’s one of the reasons there is a persistent fear of sex work. Buried underneath our fear or proclaimed disapproval of sex work is knowing that there is always a rate of exchange in all relationships.

 

The Relationship Corporation

Remember the last time you fell in love? Or the first time? It’s an amazing feeling, hard to explain, but oh so incredible. If someone asked you “why?” about the person you love, you’d probably let out a sigh and think of the words to explain something so hard to verbalize.

Love is unconditional. Relationships, on the other hand, take agreements. Think about it. You might fall in love with someone who currently has no job, but would you stay with them if they never planned on ever getting one?

Your demands for equitable exchange become more evident as you start developing a committed relationship. There are certain things you want, and certain things you are willing to give. Some things you can’t live without, and others you can let slide. It’s all a process of getting your needs met and finding someone you care enough about to meet their needs. 

 

 

How Exchange Leads to a Fulfilling Sex Life 

Money and sex. These two issues are what the vast majority of couples talk about with therapists all over the world. They’re the main driver for divorce and have destroyed many a marriage or partnership.

If you think about it, the underlying reason so many people struggle with sex is that they feel there is an unfair exchange dynamic in their relationship. Whether you want more sex, better sex, or less sex, if you and your partner aren’t on the same page, or don’t work to improve any incompatibilities, it can spell trouble.

While there is something to be said for being sexually compatible with your partner, some people grow into their sexual potential. Here are some psychosexual exercises you can do to create a more fulfilling sex life and ultimately a better relationship with your partner.

 

Create a Connection Through Eye Contact:

When was the last time you held eye contact with your partner for a long period? When was the last time you did it while you were having sex? Holding eye contact can be incredibly uncomfortable at first. You may feel silly or vulnerable. After you get past the awkward stage, however, you are transported to a place of deep connection.

Psychosexual therapy

 

Tap the Oxytocin Well:

Oxytocin is a hormone in your brain that drives bonding and sexual reproduction. When you’re trying to create a better sexual relationship with your partner, you must understand what drives their oxytocin release. Frequently, touching, relaxing, and orgasms trigger the release of oxytocin.

Spend the time necessary to find out how your partner likes to be touched, what they like when you’re making love, and what to avoid.

 

Give a Massage:

Giving a sensual massage is a wonderful way to relax the body. When you’re in a relaxed state, your breathing is more centered, you’re more in tune with your body, and you’re more open to intimacy.

Give your partner a sensual massage by spending about an hour massaging their body. Use the time to help them relax muscles in the back, shoulders, and neck, but also focus on intimate areas like the inner thighs and butt cheeks. Massage by circling into those areas and then moving away. Repeat that a few times. You’ll gradually increase your partner’s anticipation and it can be a bit of fun teasing before sex. 

 

Eradicate Anxiety:

Nervousness inhibits sexual performance. It can be harder to get an erection, climax, or just plain relax and enjoy yourself. Whenever you feel intense feelings of shame, fear, or anxiety, your brain and body enter fight or flight mode. It releases adrenaline which triggers blood flow away from extremities and your genitals. That means it’s harder to become aroused. When you’re relaxed, your parasympathetic system is in overdrive, pushing blood to your genitals and increasing arousal.

It’s important to note that there’s no, “It’s just me” here. People who are anxious or nervous dealing with sex aren’t facing some simplistic mental block. They’re also dealing with physiological issues. Overcoming them takes time and working with a sex therapist can help. 

 

Consent & Choice!

The sex exchange isn’t just about when two people agree to offer and receive sex. A lot of the time, what happens during sex is also up for negotiation. You might have a particular fantasy or want to dress a certain way. Your partner may want to introduce toys or other sex aids into the picture.

You might have the desire to spank, hair pull, or try some BDSM. This is something you can negotiate together. For example, if I want my butt slapped, I would negotiate with my partner a situation where I can calibrate where I want to be touched, the intensity rating on a (1-10), and the type of hit I am looking for.

I would tap and then they can spank. I would rate it as a number (for example a 5) and then say I was looking for something more intense, and can I get their version of a 7. Then I would tap, and they would spank at a 7.

Being free to express yourself sexually is one of the best things about being in a committed relationship with a partner you can trust.

Consent and choice are not only about negotiating a sexual fantasy. Some people struggle with intimacy because they have a history of trauma. This changes the picture. They may be dealing with past abuse, strict religious morality, and other inhibitions that make sexual expression a struggle.

One of the antidotes to trauma and abuse is CONTROL and CHOICE. I’ve found that being able to negotiate the terms of sexual encounters with our partners, and using the above psychosexual exercises, can help you overcome inhibitions and become ok with sexual expression. 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Tantric Sex Therapist

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

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Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

 

Tantric sex therapy can be a life-changing form of counseling that can alter the course of your intimacy and loving relationships. 

People involved in tantra are deeply curious about the exploration of sex, taking it from something that at times can seem simple, transforming it into a deeper, more meaningful experience.

For a lot of people, sex is an activity about the release. People treat it like it’s a primal urge that serves to reduce tension and experience a fleeting moment of pleasure. 

It becomes routine, a “weekend-only” appointment between couples. With the stress of daily life hovering over us constantly, pressure enters the bedroom, and sex suffers.

Tantric sex therapy can help you become more in tune with your mind and body, allowing you to connect physically and emotionally during sex. It elevates the sexual connection you have with yourself and your partner.

 

Meeting with a Tantric Sex Therapist

First of all, here’s what you need to know about tantric sex therapists. They’ve dedicated at least hundreds of hours to learning their practice and working under the supervision of licensed therapists and trainers. 

 

To become certified, they have to meet stringent requirements laid out by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). 

This involved earning an advanced clinical degree and extensive clinical experience.

When you first meet with a tantric sex therapist, there will be a feeling-out process. 

They’ll want to know your motivations for undertaking tantra sex therapy and try to understand where you are currently emotionally and as a lover. 

Remember, sex therapy is a process of exploration meant to help you become a better lover and ultimately experience sex and life in a more positive way.

Additionally, seeing a sex therapist isn’t just about learning how to give a better blow job or engage in lengthier foreplay. 

Licensed clinicians can help you if you’re dealing with issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and other challenges. It’s a process designed for sexual healing and sexual pleasure.

 

Somatic Sexology in Therapy Sessions

Some AASECT-Certified Sex Therapists have other practitioners who weave somatic experiencing and tantra in their practice with clients. 

Somatic sexology is a more embodied form of sex therapy that is designed to improve the connection between mind and body pertaining to sex and intimacy.

Many people, for a number of reasons including religious backgrounds, cultural norms, trauma, and other personal history have trouble connecting pleasure with bodily sensations. 

They are disconnected from their own bodies, and as a result, can recoil or resist sexual pleasure. 

 

It’s hard for them to relax during sex, which prevents them from connecting with themselves or their partners. 

This can lead to complications trying to achieve orgasm and frustrations in intimate relationships.

A tantric sex therapist focuses on the power of breath, sound, and movement to help you or a loved one overcome difficulties relaxing and engaging sexually.

 

Breath

Breath is an often-overlooked factor in sexual health. Many people, over the course of a sexual encounter, will hold their breath or breathe too rapidly. Tantric Sex Therapist

When this happens, the body can interpret the stress as dangerous, and begin to tense up. Improper breathing makes orgasming harder and will disrupt the flow of sexual connection.

A tantric sex therapist can help you understand how your breathing is affecting your sexual life. They can give you breathing techniques that will help you relax and gain greater control over your body. 

 

Better breath control improves blood flow and oxygenation that results in a more relaxed, stimulating sexual experience.

 

Sound

Sound therapy is another way a tantric sex therapist can help you destress and engage more consciously.

 

Therapists use calming music, white noise, and other sounds to help you relax and center your mind and body. 

 

Think about the sounds you hear during sex and what kind of response they trigger. If you’re a parent, the sound of crying or bullying can destroy any sexual desire. 

Likewise, if the TV is on, radio, or other kinds of music and noise that detract from the experience.

Therapists help use sound to improve your sexual mood. They can also help you understand how different words or speech can elicit positive or negative sexual responses. 

That’s great news for partners who struggle with what to say to turn you on.

 

Movement

The final component of Tantra is using movement and sexual positions to enhance or highlight pleasure and arousal. It helps you become more comfortable with intimate touch. 

The techniques will improve nonverbal communication between you and your partner and help you achieve sexual breakthroughs.

Learning new positions and how to move can also help you orgasm more easily. They can even be longer-lasting and more intense. 

People who practice tantric sex frequently experience full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms.

 

Tantric Sex for Mind-Body Alignment

Tantric sex therapy helps increase the mind-body connection in those who are open to sexual exploration. Good therapists know that everyone starts their sexual journey from different points. 

People who experience roadblocks to feeling comfortable with physical touch will need different suggestions than those looking for better orgasms. 

Tantric sex therapists will work with you to have better, more meaningful sex wherever you are.

Don’t get stuck in a sexual rut! 

Learning about and practicing simple tantric sex exercises are fun and a great way to grow a sexual connection between you and your partner. 

What’s even more fun is that the more you practice, the better you become. As you master the breathing, sound, and movement techniques, your sexual experiences will be more fulfilling. When the sex is great, it can be hard to complain about anything else.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

No Sexual Desire

How To Go From No Sexual Desire to Willing in 15 Steps!

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How To Go From No Sexual Desire to Willing in 15 Steps!

By Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT AASECT CST & CE Provider

I wrote this out for a few clients of mine that felt no sexual desire for their partners after 20+ years of sex and self-pleasure. These individuals wanted the option of “how to set the mood” without using Role Play. 

Prerequisite – WILLINGNESS

  1. TIME! You know this one. I am going to break it down ANYWAY. But don’t forget it. Set a time. If you can’t find the time then you are sending a message to your partner that they are not a priority to you. The sexual connection we have must be a priority in a monogamous romantic relationship. If it isn’t, your partner and you won’t be fulfilled by one another and there will be no sexual desire. TIME TOGETHER SHOWS LOVE. No Sexual Desire
  2. Showering. To me, the shower is a reset. Take a shower with dimighting.. Always have a nightlight 24/7 in the bathroom if possible. (are you by yourself or with a partner?)

  1. Setting the scene. Keep your bathroom and bedroom as clutter-free as possible that night. Keep children or your pets away from the space if possible. We want to bring AWARENESS to the amazingness that is about to happen.

  1. Clean, black or dark scrumptious SOFT sheets.

  1. Light candles in your bedroom, and have water and light snacks, such as fruit ready. 

  1. Brush your teeth, floss and use mouthwash. . Not because you have to, but because it’s nice to go the extra step for the person you love.

  1. Smell is CRITICAL. Do NOT put on any perfume,cologne, or scented ANYTHING – enjoy each other’s natural scent.

  1. FINALLY, it’s time to get together. TAKE THREE DEEP BREATHS IN and OUT while looking into each others eyes and smiling (you can blink).

  1. Discuss the need you are trying to get met.Oral Sex For Woman

 

  1. Pick the “personas” you want to be in to get those top 1 or 2 needs for each of you met, or decide to focus on one of you one week and then one of you the next week. Personas / roles can include, but are not limited to the following: the school girl / teacher role play, the “wife / husband” newlyweds, the college, wild, party parts, the primal parts,  the make-up sex part, the Dom/sub parts, the young, playful parts, or something else? 

  1. Pick a playlist. And set a time for how long the phones and TVs will be off. Stay in an intimate space with your partner unless there is a life or death emergency. Nothing else matters. NOTHING. Prioritize and focus.

And then the night begins. You can do anything in here that fits with the roles of those mentalities that would meet the needs you discussed. If you need help with suggestions, message me with roles and I can help.

  1. End the night by saying what you are THANKFUL for in that experience and what you want to try again next time or try MORE of. No insults here. Appreciations only.

  1. Drink water, and blow out the candles with INTENTION and RESPECT. Sex magic and adult play is so amazing, because it is an exciting way to turn no sexual desire into sexual ectasy. 

  1. Turn off the music. Wash all props, sex toys, lube off of everything. Put away anything you don’t want to get altered by children or pets.                                                                                                                                                                                                    
  2. End scene. Use the bathroom.. Get a snack. Lay together and talk about what went well. 

Bonus:  Shower if you want. Journal about it if you want.

No sexual desire can happen to all of us, we just have to be willing to find a way. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. 

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.